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The big secret behind the ego's illusions, is that the ego is entirely a mode of SELF-attack. And this exactly ties into the revelation that "the secret to salvation is that you are but doing this to yourself."

The ego mind and its entire thought system is not just a separate chunk of regular mind that is split off from God. The ego's only weapon is separation. The purpose of the ego mind is to attempt to destroy the Son of God.

To the ego it is not enough to simply separate from God and be some kind of "self-contained identity", like a whole individual.

The ego mind is a state of mind of constant self-attack. It is a mind of division, separation, fragmentation and splits. Within itself it attempts to break down the Son of God by constantly dividing and separating the mind into as many disjointed pieces as possible.

That means, this ego mind is in a constant state of self-attack. Within itself, there is a war waging, between various aspects of the ego mind. It is not just at war with God, it is at war with itself.

The ego mind doesn't just set out to attack you or be your enemy. It is actually attacking only itself.

When there is a war in the world, whereby some group of people seem to be the evil attackers and some group of people seem to be the helpless victims, BOTH sets of people are the ego attacking itself.

When there is an argument happening in a special relationship, where both people believe they are right and that the other person is wrong, BOTH sets of people are the ego attacking itself.

When there is an apparent victimizer doing something terribly abusive to someone and the victim seems to be innocent, even then, BOTH sets of people are the ego attacking itself.

Simply by virtue of the fact that the ego split mind is riddled with multiple separations, these separations produce the ILLUSION that there is opposition. Based on appearances, it then seems that one part of the ego mind is one identity and the other part is another identity, usually identified by some kind of "difference" between them, or a difference in form.

These differences make it SEEM like there are two separate individuals, at least, and these individuals will inherently be against each other. This is why people identified with separate and different bodies are INHERENTLY racist and sexist. To not be so would threaten their identity as a separate individual.

So take a look at the world and you'll see various examples of parts of it which seem like its "good" and parts that seem "bad", and you might only think the ego is the bad parts. The ego is all parts of this world.

The ego takes both sides of every argument. It takes both sides in every war. It is rooting for both people to be destroyed in every conflict and delights in the fight. It wants both victims and victimizers to hate each other. It believes in all its parts and identities that it is right and all others are wrong, even though those others are part of itself.

The ego has this very "sick" twisted mixture of self-attack and violence against itself. It actually tries to hurt and destroy itself, while at the same time enjoying doing so. It takes "pleasure" in producing "pain" within itself, which is why both pleasure and pain are a part of the same self-attacking mind. It is both the sick person who seems to prey on the innocent, and also is the "innocent victim" of such attacks.

It does not care whether one particular side of any situation is better or worse than another. Its only aim is to get all split parts of the fragmented ego mind to be separate from each other, different from each other, at war with each other, and wanting to destroy each other. Its plan of attack is that by destroying "Self". .. which really does mean "itself", it will destroy the Son of God.

This is simply because the ego IS the Son of God's attempt to destroy His Self. This is self attack. This is how the Son of God is doing everything to Himself, and why underneath ALL of his claims to be an innocent victim He is always secretly wanting it.

It is why behind all fear there is a choice and a desire to be punished. It is why behind all sickness there is a decision to be sick and to use it as both a defense and an attack. It is why victims are also victimizers, why the weak would seek to destroy, why death is both feared and welcomed, and why people are perverted and sadistic.

You are not looking at a world where some parts are pure and some parts are impure. You are not looking at a world where the "good guys" are trying to genuinely be free of the "bad guys". You are only looking at an ego world, which is INSIDE the shared collective ego group mind, the entire ego dream of death, which is RIDDLED with self attack all over the place in every way imaginable.

It always LOOKS like there are many separate individuals operating independently, when in fact it is ONE ego mind operating against ITSELF.

The ego loves to hate Self. The ego loves to destroy Self. The ego loves to pit self against self and be against itself. It should be fairly obvious how this is INSANITY, to be both for and against oneself and to be actively trying to destroy yourself. This is why the ego is suicidal and this is also why all death is a choice to die, in which your "ego self" will both avoid it and cause it, and both want it and be terrified of it.

It is ONLY your own self-attack and desire to destroy yourself that makes you afraid of anything. You are not afraid because of what others might do to you, but because of what YOU plan to do to you through your belief in your deserving of punishment. You are your own attacker and you plot your own death, even if you are kicking and screaming to escape it at the same time.

A split mind is having a battle of wills, because there are multiple conflicting wills operating against each other within it. It wants one thing but also wants another. It always wants everything that it does not want, and does not want everything that it wants. It cannot make up its mind or be decisive or make a genuine decision at all, being an attempt to STOP being decisive and certain or committed to wholeness in any way.

Taking sides is falling for the ego's lie. Participating in an "argument" is separating yourself off from your brother. Your brother is simply another part of your Self as Christ. Christ is the non-split, non-fragmented, non-self-destructive Real Mind of which we are all really a part, and not "apart".

So be careful not to fall for the ego's LIE, the ILLUSION, that one side of a story is right and another wrong, or one part of the world is spiritual and good and another is evil. The ego does not care whether you support the good guys or the bad guys. You are not winning against it by siding with only the good and positive. You are also not winning against it by siding only with the dark and negative.

The ego has no preference for whether you choose to believe that a "cause" is righteous or that your hated political party is "wrong" or that your opinion matters. Your opinion does not matter whatsoever because opinions are a symptom of ego insanity, in rejection of the One Shared Truth. The ego couldn't give a shit who wins an argument or what side of a war is victorious, because those things are NOT what drives the ego.

The ego is driven by SEPARATION. Its ONLY tool is separation. It seems only to separate, within itself. It seems only to split the Son of God up and make him be multiple selves - multiple personalities, and multiple personalities within personalities.

Think not that a regular human being has a "single mind". ... a regular human being has a large COLLECTION of pieces of mind, of sub-personalities, often which are actually in CONFLICT with each other. The ego mind is very complicated and self-contradictory. Even within one person there are countless separated aspects of identity which are not even consistent from second to second. People are different in different scenarios, experiencing constant shifts in persona based on the situation.

Only a whole mind is a sane mind, and a whole mind means Christ mind, which is not a mind that has won or a mind that defeated an opponent, but is a mind in which OPPOSITION does not exist. It is a mind free for a war with itself. It is a mind that has recognized that, this whole time, it has ONLY ever been at war within itself.

The secret to salvation is that you are doing this to yourself. Your own mind, as ego mind, is attacking itself. It is in conflict within itself. It has been split up into parts and different parts of it are opposed to each other and are not even communicating well. Many parts of your mind are in the dark, many are experienced by other parts of you as an "enemy", and you actively fight with your own hallucinated demons and opponents within your own sense of fragmented self.

It is this state of self-attack and self-conflict and self-war and self-denial that we are healing from, so that we can return the mind to a state of PEACE. Peace is only possible when you are not playing ANY of the ego's games, you are not falling for the illusions or appearance of differences, you are not taking sides, you are not buying into good/bad or right/wrong, and you do not believe any longer in a SEPARATION between victims and victimizers.

You are doing this all to yourself. The whole world is doing this to itself. All wars are self attack, by the one "human race". This is the condition of the ego. The world is destroying itself and always has been and always will be until it disappears, having been recognized as unreal. This is why peace on earth is not possible, because peace would reveal that the earth is not a "real separate thing". Even the idea of separate planets is an ego idea of self conflict.

Beware the ego's intention to get you to fight with someone else, which is really the temptation to fight with yourself. This is all about what you're doing to yourself, and has nothing to do with what anyone else is doing to you. Wake up and see the ego for what it is. It is nothing more than a mind at war with itself, and in that war it is playing every side, because it is a mind of self-destruction.

In the ego's war, nobody wins. There are no survivors. There are no victors. It is always the "Self" that dies. It is always sanity and wholeness that is sacrificed. It is always the ego mind that wins and loses. It is always both parties who suffer. Anyone who plays the game of opposition or righteousness or judgement or rebellion or justification or revenge or any other ego modality, has already FAILED to recognize the ego's diabolical plan. It couldn't care less for winning or losing because in its perception, EVERY part of itself loses. In a war with yourself, YOU MUST LOSE YOUR SELF!

The only way to escape this is to return the mind to wholeness, overlook the ego's illusion of self-attack, own up to the fact that your mind IS attacking itself and that there has not BEEN any other form of attack, and that therefore you have another CHOICE. A better way. A way to be free from your own self destructive dream. A way to be permanently free of the ego, and of all symptoms of suffering and sickness and death, which are merely expressions of self attack.

If you cease attacking yourself, you cannot die. There are no other causes of death but this.

Be free.

Concern about being noticed in public, wanting to hide, feeling anxious etc... stemming from a sense of guilt or shame. You walk around with it believing that people will find out or point it out. You feel exposed by it, as if it is a label that everyone can see and which you must recoil from just as they would. It makes you experience yourself as though you are highly visible, like a red flag with a wailing siren, drawing all attention to what you are ashamed of. It makes you think you stand out like a sore thumb, which makes you afraid of attack or judgement, which makes you hide even more. You feel unsafe, because your shame and guilt have condemned you and now you think it's only a matter of time before punishment comes, which you try to avoid all the time.

You don't have to be ashamed of what you think you did. It is forgivable. Doesn't matter what it is or how serious or dark or twisted. You still deserve love and forgiveness. God still smiles and shines upon you with happy acceptance. You don't have to walk around feeling vulnerable and exposed and afraid of revenge. Stop attacking yourself with it. Its your own belief in your own self-attack that makes you believe in the attacking advances of others. In your innocence you no longer have something about you that you need be concerned about, or self-conscious about, or worried that people will agree with and attack you for. Defenses which hide your self-condemnation doesnt make you feel safe. But in your innocence lies your safety.

The interesting thing about all blocks to awareness, is that there is always love behind them. The block is there to hide the love. The block also makes it seem like the love is not there. But if you were to remove the block, you would return to the awareness of love's presence, which has been there all along. This is why behind every grievance there is a miracle of love.

"The miracle behind this grievance will resolve it for me."

"The answer to this problem is the miracle which it conceals."

We began in love and we love everyone and everything. But then along comes ego stuff, grievances, hates, judgements, blame, anger, fear, guilt, sinfulness, darkness, to blot out the love and cover it up. But we truly do simply "cover it over" with a layer of untruth, to disguise it and make it seem like it's not there.

This means that no matter who you seem to be angry towards, you actually do love them behind that anger. Behind all physical objects there is also love. Behind the body there is love. Behind all attacks and judgements you love the thing you are attacking and judging. Underneath your hatred there is love. And beyond every layer of self condemnation there is love. It's already there, because it's your love of God which nothing can remove.

The course says that grievances and miracles are opposite. That a grievance hides a miracle. And if you apply forgiveness to the grievance to undo it, you will become aware of the miracle instead. ie if you remove the block to love, the love is revealed. It's kind of like removing the clouds so that the sun can shine. The sun is always there behind the clouds.

It's not as if, when you're in a grievance, there is no love anywhere. It does seem that way because a grievance is a denial of love, it's an attack and a belief in sin. Every grievance attacks love and attacks God and the sonship. But it does this only in an attempt to make it go away, which ultimately is a form of denial. You can't make love go away because love is permanent. All you can do in truth is hide it from your awareness and pretend it's not there. Like burying your head in the sand.

If you can remember that behind every grievance there is a miracle of love, then you know that the purpose of every grievance is to hide the love. And that means every grievance implies there is love there, a love which you're trying to use the grievance to hide. The grievance is serving a purpose of avoiding the truth. Admitting to the truth and waking up to reality exposes you to love again.

To do that you need to recognize the attack is there to serve a purpose. You aren't just attacking for no reason, or even just because you want to get rid of your sin and guilt. You're doing it to achieve a goal of keeping God away. Every attack upon yourself and every projected attack upon others, is only there to serve the goal of separation from God. You use it for that reason alone. You want to keep the separation going so that you will not be exposed to love.

"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING."

The removal of the blocks to love's presence, is merely the removal of all attempts to attack. Attack is sin, and also insanity. You can only attack yourself, so each time you are attacking you are trying to hurt yourself. Doing that hides your awareness from love, and is really the purpose of the attack. The aim of all attack is to resist the truth, to shut God out, to hide from reality, and to assert that you are not immortal. But without attack, only the truth of love remains.

Attack actually means withdrawal. The Kingdom of God cannot be attacked. When you try to attack, you withdraw away from what you are attacking.

It's funny how all of the ego's illusions always look like one thing but are actually totally the opposite.

In the ego, free will looks like being tremendously independent and having great breadth of choice, but in truth the ego's free will is actually an imprisoned will and all its choices are attempts to isolate and be limited. The ego is the imprisoner of will.

When you attempt to attack a brother, you withdraw away from him and isolate. Therefore your attack cannot access the reality of what He is. Only in sharing of love can you actually "connect" with your brother's real self, because his real self is made of love and can only be accessed through love.

It's the same with God. If you try to attack God or oppose His will, instead of actually being ABLE to cause some kind of change in him, you instead withdraw away from him. It seems to be experienced by you as if it's a positive outward expression of attack away from yourself, but in truth it is a withdrawal away from the perceived enemy and a failure to attack at all.

Attack cannot have any real effects. You cannot really sin. You cannot attack anything real. Nothing real can be threatened. This is why God and His Kingdom are totally beyond the reach of the ego.

Similarly with power, when you are empowered you automatically must be aligned with love because love is strength and only by being aligned with love can you access the Power of God. If you try to use God's power to attack, you automatically lose that power and become weak.

In the ego, whenever there is an attack trying to be perpetrated, it is in fact a lack of attack. It is a failure to cause. It is an attempt to stop causing. It is the opposite of causal power. It's like a fearful dog barking its head off in hopes that the threat will go away, making it look like it is attacking when in fact it is terrified and will run away at the slightest advance.

This means literally you literally CANNOT ATTACK ANYTHING REAL. You cannot attack your brother, you cannot attack God, and you cannot attack yourself. This is why your innocence is guaranteed. Any time you try to attack you automatically place yourself under arrest. When you try to attack, you arrest the extension of your mind, which produces sickness. When you attack, you create illusions of being hurt.

When you try to attack your brother, you arrest your mind and attack yourself. This causes you to withdraw away from your brother into your body. It makes you isolate yourself and identify yourself with a physical form in a specific location in space. You are supposed to be everywhere in your omnipresence but attack puts you in prison. You imprison yourself by not loving yourself and others.

Joining minds with others through expressions of love (miracles) heals the separation, releases you from prison, ceases attack and allows you to gain access to sharing with others again and with God. Only through love can you connect with loving brothers. Attack is a breakdown in communication and it attacks communication itself, causing the attacking effort itself to be attacked. This is because all ego efforts to attack are self attack.

God is absolutely protected from the ego and all its ways. It cannot even approach God because its attempts to approach are actually running away. Every time it lurches forward with a spear, it recoils in terror. Nothing real can be threatened because the ego can only attack the ego and reality does not attack reality. Nothing unreal can threaten anything real, and nothing unreal exists.

Safety is an important aspect of reality. Where there is fear you can't feel safe. Where there is love you are safe and protected.

We might not realize it, but if you are separate or distanced from God in any way, you will start to feel unsafe. The more you go away from love, the more you go into fear. And the fear will seem justified because unreal threatening things will seem real.

The world has no safety to offer. It doesn't matter how many defences you put up how many walls, layers, boundaries or defences you erect. In fact, the more that you believe you need profound levels of defences to protect you, the more you will believe in being vulnerable, weak, afraid and in danger. The more you are visible and undefined and open and exposed, the safer you will become. A king or queen locked in the highest tower in their most fortified castle walls is most terrified.

"If I defend myself I am attacked."

"In my defencelessness my safety lies."

"My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability."

The world has no safety to offer because of its constant format of war, conflict, differences and limits. You can barely get through a day without something going wrong or being threatened in some way. If you look for safety on a physical level you will not find it anywhere. The world is a system of murder and suicide.

Safety can only be experienced psychologically as a result of joining with God in light and love and wholeness, in which you are no longer attacking yourself or believing in murder and suicide. Only your self attack could truly make you feel unsafe. In fact, it's the belief that you've sinned and deserve to die that threatens you.

When you become honest and admit to the truth of reality, you are no longer living a lie or living in a state of deception. And without this deception you are not in conflict with your reality. This lack of conflict brings a feeling of peace and safety. The ego can never experience safety because it relies on conflict and deception which undermines its perception of reality.

To feel safe, join with God, receive his love, and remember who you are.

"The world provides no safety. It is rooted in attack, and all its "gifts" of seeming safety are illusory deceptions. It attacks and then attacks again. No peace of mind is possible where danger threatens thus."

"For we would not return again to the belief in sin, which made the world seem ugly and unsafe, attacking and destroying, dangerous in all its ways and treacherous beyond the hope of trust and the escape from pain."

"Nothing in madness is dependable. It holds out no safety and no hope. But such a world is not real. I have given it the illusion of reality, and have suffered from my belief in it. Now I choose to withdraw this belief, and place my trust in reality. In choosing this, I will escape all the effects of the world of fear because I am acknowledging that it does not exist."

"There IS no safety in a battleground. You can look down on it in safety from above, and NOT be touched. But, from within it, you can find NO safety. Not one tree left standing still will shelter you. Not one illusion of protection stands against the faith in murder. Here stands the body, torn between the natural desire to communicate, and the unnatural intent to murder and to die."

"As evening comes, let all my thoughts be still of You and of Your Love, and let me sleep sure of my safety, certain of Your care, and happily aware I am Your Son."

"God is with me. He is my Source of life, the life within, the air I breathe, the food by which I am sustained, the water which renews and cleanses me. He is my home, wherein I live and move; the Spirit Which directs my actions, offers me Its Thoughts, and guarantees my safety from all pain. He covers me with kindness and with care, and holds in love the Son He shines upon, who also shines on Him. How still is he who knows the truth of what He speaks today!"

"I am in danger nowhere in the world."

"But God Himself has protected EVERYTHING He created BY His laws. Therefore, everything that is not under them does not exist."

"And thus has God protected still His Son, even in error."

"He protected both your creations AND you together, keeping one with you what you would EXCLUDE."

"Even in sleep has Christ protected you, ensuring the real world FOR you when you wake."

"The Kingdom is perfectly united and perfectly protected, and the ego will not prevail against it. Amen."

"You will identify with what you think will make you safe. Whatever it may be, you will believe that it is one with you. Your safety lies in truth and not in lies. Love is your safety. Fear does not exist. Identify with love, and you are safe. Identify with love, and you are home. Identify with love, and find your Self."

"What is not love is murder.

"If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick."

We are either loving ourselves and others or we are attacking ourselves and others.

It's either love, or a call for love. But it can be difficult to recognize that someone's attack is a call for love. It does not seem to take the form of "please love me" or "I need love". Usually it takes the form of inciting counter-attack, laden with temptation and conflict.

Especially for example if someone is using your name, using attributing words like "you", pointing a physical finger, looking at you in a certain way, or doing something that seems to be affecting you. It all seems to be a way to attempt to say "its about you" or "its your fault" or that they are attacking YOU, not themselves.

Can you recognize that this is them expressing "I need more love because I'm lacking love", when everything they are expressing appears at first to be murderous and unloving? When they seem to present a picture of "I do not love you", which is the same as "I do not want love", how do you see it as a call to be loved?

It's fairly accurate to say that almost everyone on the planet is sick in the mind and body. And that isn't an overestimate.

Anyone who is not being completely loving is not in their right mind. Anyone attacking is not in their right mind. No-one in their right mind would do anything other than love, because they are one with you and to attack you would attack themselves. No sane person would ever treat anyone else in any way other than lovingly. So if someone is not being wholly loving, they are sick.

The problem with this sickness is that the person's mind is in denial, awareness is blocked, and they are unconscious, they don't realize what they are doing otherwise they wouldn't do it.

Only someone who is unaware of the consequences of their attack, an attempt to cause effects in someone else and not themselves, would proceed to do it. It's an attempt to get away with murder, which is the whole ego system of thought - that something is true of another that is different than what applies to you.

So now their mind is denying their own light, they have attacked themselves, they are guilty and sinful and afraid, and now they are acting out. Almost certainly they are projecting onto scapegoats and looking for a target to create an illusion of alleviating their suffering. To try to escape from the responsibility of owning what they are doing to themselves. And by being in denial they do not really seem to want help, though deep down they do.

So what is your role now? Faced with a world full of mentally-ill and physically expressive nut jobs, how do you respond? The Holy Spirit would have you respond with love at all times. He would say, well, these people, they are forgiveable because they literally are not aware of what they are doing. They are insane. No-one sane would act this way and no-one sane would attack a brother. So if they're doing that, they are insane and need help.

The only help that can work is to fix the problem. The problem is the person is blocking love and so seems to be lacking love. What they need therefore is love. Love is the only thing that can be supplied to correct the only thing that's lacking. If someone is not being loving they are believing in a lack or absence of love, and the presence or supply of this love is the only remedy. This is why expressions of love are miraculous and can cure.

So in a way we have to learn, to reframe everything we see happening, and all expressions coming from people. Either they are being christly and loving, in recognition that that is their real self, OR they are being unconscious, lost in the ego, lacking love, are mentally ill and need healing. Being in denial they DO NOT KNOW what they are doing and are mistaken.

If we can remember that people are "not being themselves", that they are "sick" and that they are not aware of what they are doing or why, and if we can remember that they WOULD NOT act this way if they were healed and whole, this makes it easier to not "hold it against them", take it personally, think of it as true or serious, and helps you to stay out of the ego response.

Really this is what forgiveness is about. Faced with an insane attacking ego-driven person, we need to OVERLOOK all of these appearances and remember the person's divinity, which is hidden behind their call for love, which is showing up as a call to be unloved. They seem to WANT to be attacked, they seem to WANT suffering, but this is only because they have rejected the very thing that would give them the sanity to make a wiser choice.

We have to laugh at people's insane behavior because it's not really true of them. This is part of realizing this is just a dream and the nutjobs it's populated with don't even know they are dreaming. No-one in their right mind would deliberately be unloving. Their lack of love is sickness that appears to ask for love to be withheld but is mistaken in that request. What they really want and need is love. And this love has to overlook and shine past all of these obstacles.

Not just for their benefit, but also to keep your own mind sane. Because if you yourself have stopped being loving and have slipped into reactions, counter attacks, taking it personally or seriously, being tempted or distracted to engage their ego, then you now also have joined the ranks of the insane and you yourself now need healing as well.

"You cannot enter into real relationship with any of God's Sons unless you are willing to love them all AND equally."

"Forgiveness recognizes that what you think you brother did has not OCCURRED."

"Only Atonement can be said to cure."

"There is no sin."

The secret to salvation is that "we are doing this only to ourselves". This means taking full responsibility for everything we experience, all of our feelings, all of our reactions. It means owning everything about who and what we really are in truth, being in truth, being whole, surrendering all ego, and stopping all victimhood. This is the goal, the atonement, the awakening. So we're all working on moving towards this.

Now, as you work on realizing that you only do things to yourself, sooner or later this idea will pop into your mind as well - that other people are only doing things to themselves. And this also means, they are not doing anything to you, which helps you with clarifying the fact that you are not a victim either.

But the reason why this is difficult to 'get', is because of the way things appear when someone else 'attacks you'. But as we'll see... even the idea of 'attacks you' is completely false and is a mistake in our own perception of ourselves. It's part of us not admitting that we only do things to ourselves, and therefore we cannot be attacked.

So let's take for example some person you know who appears to be attacking or upset in any way. This person has an ego. Because of the ego, they have separation in their mind. The separation means they have a split mind, or they are "in two minds". When someone goes from having one whole unified mind to having two minds, something very weird happens.

The person retains one part of their own mind and thinks of it as the acceptable part, which they identify with, and think is all of who they are. Even though they have this whole other part to their mind which they deny. The part they keep is what we call the persona. Then, a profound denial and separation and unconsciousness is happening in between this part of their mind and the rest of their mind. They use denial to repress the rest of themselves and to relegate the rest of themselves to unconsciousness, hatred, darkness, and everything that seems to be 'not who they are'. They disassociate from this other part of their mind and think of it as 'not me'. This is what's called the 'shadow'.

Now, where is mind? Mind is supposed to be everywhere, inside and out, and is supposed to be the same everywhere, and it's also supposed to be whole and unified. That means that what is outside of you is also inside of you and is the same in all areas. This is what it means when the Course says "God is in everything I see because God is in my mind" i.e. the same experience is out there and in here and its all one joined-together oneness.

So when the ego splits the mind like this, the part it seems to keep becomes our own body and our persona, and the part it rejects (which is still part of that person), becomes the shadow and the projection of that. So everything seemingly 'outside' the person's body houses everything the person believes they are 'not', and everything inside their body houses the part of their mind they think they 'are'. And because of this intense repression of the 'what I am not' part, it *SEEMS* in a very distracting apparent way, that a) only what is inside the person's body is the whole of the person and there are no other parts, and b) everything outside the person has nothing to do with what person.

Of course this is not true at all. But this is how it shows up. People are walking around in two minds, one inside the body and one projected outside and disowned/denied. And, here is a law or rule, which applies all of the time no matter what kind of mind you have: You are always in a relationship with yourself. This is always true, no matter how you see yourself, and it also is part of the truth that you only do things to yourself.

So a person with a whole mind is always in a relationship to themselves as a whole mind and sees wholeness everywhere. A person with a split mind/ego is still always in a relationship to themselves, but it shows up as two parts - the inner/me and the outer/other. People only ever talk to themselves! People only ever relate with themselves! People only ever interact with themselves! People only ever see themselves! This is true at all times no matter how aware the person is.

Now this is where we get lost. We get lost when WE have an ego split mind ourselves. Only when you have a mind that is WHOLE, can you recognize when there is a split mind and can identify that both parts of the split are part of ONE mind. If your mind is not whole, and is split, then you are too unconscious to recognize or see this. And the result of that, is that you will believe in a separation between what is inside the person and what is outside. And that means, when someone comes along expressing 'split mind' in your general direction, you will fall for the appearance that the 'outside parts' of their relationship with themselves are in fact NOT anything to do with that person, and are to do with you. You will take that to be personal, and about you, instead of about them. And so will begin your experience of being a VICTIM.

You will be a victim whenever you do not remember that you can only do things to yourself, and that other people can only do things to themselves. You will be a victim when your own mind is split and therefore you perceive other people's splits as 'real', and take the split-off part of what other people are doing to themselves and believe that it applies to or does something to you. The other person's disassociation from this part of their mind makes it APPEAR that they do not own and are not identified with it, and therefore it really MUST be about you.

So when someone comes along being an asshole to themselves ;-) and they come up to you, and they call you an asshole, here's what's going on.

They are having a relationship with themselves and to their own mind in its entirety, so they are calling themselves an asshole. They are seeing a reflection back in a mirror of their own self attack. They have projected their separation/split mind onto the outside environment, which randomly happens to include you, and now they are attacking their own projected externalized part of their own mind using words. And because they believe that they are NOT this other part of their mind, they will 'frame' the attack in such a way as to believe they are not attacking themselves, but instead that YOU are the one they are attacking. Like, "hey Paul, you asshole". No, the person is not talking to me. They're talking to themselves.

If a person has an ego, they do not see you. If a person has a split mind, they cannot recognize your wholeness. If a person has a split mind, they are having a hallucinatory experience in a private reality that has absolutely nothing to do with you, and are projecting their split outward, and it's getting confused with what's out there, and so the person thinks that YOU have something to do with the hate they SEE, but the hate they SEE is their own hate toward themselves, which they are USING in order to maintain their split mind.

Hate and fear are tools and devices which create the illusion of disassociation and disownership and irresponsibility for the content of guilt in that person's mind. So if someone has an ego, they do not love you and they do not recognize love in you and they literally do not SEE you clearly. They do not recognize you as love, because they do not recognize themselves as love, because their mind is not whole. Love is wholeness. And if they were to have a whole mind, they would see you with wholeness and also recognize not only themselves as love but recognize you as love as well, regardless of your ego, and would see that the two of you are ONE.

So we get lost in this a LOT. I know I do. This is the main issue that keeps us being a victimized. The ego split in our own mind makes us buy into the ego splits in other people's minds. We keep taking personally expressions that other people are making, in a split mind state, toward themselves, which they project outward and make 'other'-oriented. It's still all about that person. It's still them attacking and doing this to themselves. It's still them accusing you of THEIR sins. And so other people never really accuse you of YOUR sins. And so other people are never really talking about YOU when they attack you or call you names. It's not about you.

This is really important to remember and to hone this skill of seeing with wholeness and recognizing the split minds of others and how it manifests as expressions of attack on 'otherness' (i.e. you) when in fact that person is really just at war with themselves. It's NOT about you. It's not you that they are really attacking. You have to learn to overlook the appearance of this. The form it takes, the words they use, the direction they aim it in, it's all part of their delusion.

So if someone is telling you they don't love you in some way, it's not true. They'r not even telling you that they don't love you. They are telling themselves that they don't love themselves. That's all. They're in a private world. They don't know what they're doing. Taking it personally and thinking that it is about you is a major error that YOU are making because YOU have a split mind that needs healing. Your own split is what causes you to be upset and hurt by other people's blind, impersonal attacks. So if there's someone in your life somewhere that seems to not like you or is your enemy... they don't like themselves. They are their own enemy. And no matter how it looks on the surface or how they express it, and no matter how much they seem to make it about 'you', it is NOT ABOUT YOU.

Remember the secret to salvation - you are doing this to yourself, and they are doing this to themselves.

If other people only do stuff to themselves, and if you only do stuff to yourself, and if nobody ever does anything to anyone else, then you are invulnerable, right?

When someone seems to do something to someone else, they are actually going into withdrawal, not attack. What looks like attack to us is a recoil. It's a withdrawal away from oneness. It's taking steps back away from love. It's hiding. Attack is hiding is the dark. Attack does not exist in the light. So nobody actually has any effect on anyone else. This is how God is unaffected by our attempted attacks as well. God doesn't even need to defend Himself because any kind of attack is a RETREAT away from love even if it takes on a form that LOOKS LIKE it's a forward attack. Attack is always a contraction away from love. So if you are love, you know that attack is always a form of avoidance. And that is complete truth, metaphysically and experientially, and it's built into reality.

So quite literally, you ARE invulnerable, and immortal, and cannot be attacked by anyone else, and have never been attacked by anyone else. You can only attack yourself and play with illusions of stories of how you attacked them or how they attacked you. None of that story is true whatsoever. We are all PERMANENTLY INVULNERABLE, and we are all completely, totally, wholly INCAPABLE of actually attacking anyone.

Nothing can assail the Kingdom of God. Nothing real can be threatened.

It is not possible to hold a thought of accusation in your own mind, which seems to be about someone else, without YOU also receiving side-effects from that thought. That thought is toxic.

A thought of attack, even if it's a justified attack, is still an attack. And attack thoughts have attacking properties. It's like a nasty, dark, spiky, painful energy in your mind. Do you think you get away with not being affected by that?

So here's the conundrum. You cannot have a negative thought about anyone else without it affecting you. You have to put the negative thought into your own interior mind-garden, and it's going to grow a bunch of weeds there. It's going to attack YOU as much as it attacks someone else.

It's all or nothing. Either the thought applies to you AND them, or it doesn't apply to either of you.

When you're in the business of having the kind of thoughts that apply 'separately' to separate people, those are INSANE thoughts.

If you would realize that your attack thoughts (about other people) are attacking your invulnerability, you would not have them.

If you would realize that you cannot hate someone without hating yourself, you would not hate.

If you would realize that you can't judge and condemn someone without you also feeling condemned, you would not do it.

There is no 'separate justice'. There is no person A being guilty and person B being innocent. Either all are innocent or all are guilty. The accused and the accuser are both guilty.

The ego's laws, the law of the land, are all based on this idea. Someone is to blame, and someone is not. This is not a law based in sanity.

God's law says that whatever is true of one, is true of all. Whatever applies to one, applies to all. One law that applies equally to everyone and finds everyone equally innocent. That is the only sane law.

As I see it now, guilt isn't just some little emotion you have only some of the time, in certain situations. The way Jesus presents it, ANY amount of separation produces guilt.

As soon as you separate, you are asserting a desire to not share. This means you want to take from others and have what they lack. This selfishness brings with it automatic guilt, based on the knowing that you have deprived someone and caused them to suffer.

Similarly as soon as you attack, you are asserting that you want someone else to not have something. You are attacking an innocent being, which induces guilt. Any desire to separate from another in any way is an attack and will foster guilt in the mind. Seeing yourself as not at-one with them will make you guilty for having pushed them away.

Jesus also describes attack as being another word for sin, and another word for sin is also insanity, which is a split mind. Any amount of separation whatsoever produces a spit mind which believes in sin, is attacking, and therefore is inducing guilt.

It's not as if you are just innocent most of the time and then you only feel guilty if you specifically attack someone on a specific day. You are ALWAYS IN GUILT so long as you are in separation. So long as your mind is split, there is guilt. So long as you deny God, there is guilt.

Guilt is a universal guilt, a systemic system-wide guilt, a side-effect of separation. If there is any separation at all, to any degree, or the mind is in any way divided or split or attacking, it MUST produce a guilty state. Such attacks are sin, and all sin demands guilt and punishment.

So in fact, for example, you being body identified, is a guilt-inducing state. Believing you do not share an identity with other people will produce guilt. Seeing someone as a body induces guilt. Having any lack of oneness whatsoever produces guilt.

This has to be the case because, as Jesus says, the ego depends on guilt.

"Only the ego can feel guilty."

"Without guilt there is no ego."

This means that fundamentally, if you are IN separation you are IN guilt and are being ego. If you are NOT separate there is no ego and there is no guilt. That has to mean that the guilt accompanies the separation. Where there is separation THERE IS guilt, and you cannot have separation without it.

To undo guilt you must transcend all separation, and only upon doing so do you undo the ego. And until you do so, you will feel guilty because you still have an ego that attacks. To be separated off is to be guilty, to be a body is to be guilty, and to see yourself as not your brother is to be guilty.

"To be alone IS to be guilty. For to experience yourself AS alone, is to deny the Oneness of the Father and His Son, and thus to ATTACK REALITY."

"You WILL feel guilty 'til you learn this. For, in the end, whatever form it takes, your guilt arises from your failure to fulfill your function in God's Mind with ALL OF YOURS."

"And you WILL feel guilty for this imagined "crime," which no one in this world, or Heaven, CAN POSSIBLY commit."

"And who, BECAUSE he wishes to attack, can FAIL to think it MUST be guilty, to DESERVE the wish and leave HIM innocent? And who would see the Son of God as innocent, and wish him dead?"

"Are YOU a sin? You answer "yes" WHENEVER you attack, for BY attack do you assert that you are guilty, and must give as you deserve."

"You are guilty OR guiltless, bound OR free, happy OR unhappy."

"The ego teaches you to attack yourself BECAUSE you are guilty, and this MUST INCREASE the guilt, for guilt is the RESULT of attack. In the ego's teaching, then, there IS no escape from guilt."

"You are NOT guiltless in time, but IN ETERNITY."

In ACIM Jesus sometimes says some things which would be .... possibly offensive... to many people. These truth bombs don't go so far as to point fingers or to try to make people guilty, but it's quite likely that people will either feel guilt or anger about it. For example when he says basically that all sick people are trying to kill others through contagion. ....

"A sick and suffering you but represents your brother's guilt; the witness which you send, lest he forget the injuries he gave, from which you swear he never will escape. This sick and sorry picture YOU accept, if only it can serve to punish him. *****The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill*****. Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."

He's literally saying that those of us who choose sickness, or really any form of victimhood or suffering, even fear, are ATTACKING others. "The ego's purpose is FEAR, because only the fearful can be egotistic."

"frightened people are apt to be vicious"

"those who are afraid are apt to be vicious"

This isn't exactly sugar-coating anything or walking on eggshells. Again he doesn't linger on it such as to try to make people feel guilty for it or worsen their state, but he IS literally saying that if you are afraid you are being vicious. That fear is a state of attacking others.

You'll notice that in both sickness and in fear, it always SEEMS like we're victims. Someone or something else is causing it. WE didn't cause it. WE aren't doing anything! WE are the innocent one! As little victims we get to portray ourselves with the "face of innocent", exonerated and harmless and helpless. SO THAT someone else can play the role of victimizer, accusers, inflicter of wounds and source of viciousness.

But let's make no mistake either that if we go into fear, we ARE in fact attacking love, trying to oppose love, and are trying to bring about a state of love's absence. We might not LIKE how it feels, but we're willing to do it for a payoff of ACCUSING someone else of causing it. It's part of how we scapegoat and project our sins onto others. So the fearful are actually frightening THEMSELVES by projecting "the cause of sin" onto someone else, making themselves the EFFECT of their own efforts to attack.

Similarly with sickness, no one seems to really WANT to be sick. Sickness sucks bigtime. Pain is a bitch. But we put sickness there so that someone else is accused of causing it, so that we again get a secret payoff of appearing to be innocent. We didn't apparently choose it or cause it, so we can blame it on the world. And now we are willing to be helpless, powerless, victimized and suffering, if it means we can accuse the world of causing it. There's a big payoff in that.

It means we're actually very vicious when we're in fear, and we're also very vicious when we're sick. Just as we're vicious in death, vicious when depressed, vicious when unhappy, vicious when unfairly treated, and vicious when terrorized. The ILLUSION OF victimhood covers up the underlying desire TO ATTACK.

And so attack is COVERED UP by defensiveness. Sickness COVERS UP a desire to CAUSE others to be sick. Fear COVERS UP an accusation that others have power over you, affecting you against your will. ie that you WANT to be use them to victimize yourself. There is a whole lot of vicious attack under the surface.

This is what Jesus is pointing to. Not to make anyone MORE guilty or to accuse anyone of anything, but just calmly to look at what's going on and to be honest about it. When I am afraid I am far more likely to become vicious and angry. When I am sick I am somehow trying to prove that the world sucks. That's just what it is.

But the world is ignorant of this and blinded by appearances, and so has "sympathy" for sickness and fear, protecting it like it's unasked for and unchosen. As if the sick or fearful person is innocent. This is a huge trap, and the fearful person DELIGHTS in persuading others to go along with the lie and side with them. Fearful people act like black holes sucking the life out of others.

I know because I used to be that. I've seen it up close. I had to learn that my fear was really MY vicious attack on others which framed them as evil and produced reactions of "fear" in my mind. That my sickness was an attempt to avoid and accuse and be victimized and suffer, for various reasons. What the world thinks is normal is not normal. The false empathy it has for suffering is a total ego smokescreen which we all have fallen for. We have to look deeper and not buy into the bullshit.

We even have to look at the fact that "being a victim" is not only always chosen, it's an attempt by the victim TO victimize. Do you think that's enough of an eggshell to walk around and not touch with a bargepole? Because most people will react to that with ego and hate and accusation of guilt, as if to even utter it is a sin. But the truth is, as Jesus would confirm, is that if I become victimy I AM victimizing the world. I am accusing it of doing things to me. I am WANTING to suffer. And that's entirely my doing it to myself.

We have to outgrow all these old ego modes of operating, of problem solving, and of functioning. They are attempts to solve the separation from God in ways that don't work. They are efforts to deal with the fallout and psychological effects. But they have to be replaced with something that does work. Real honesty and willingness and forgiveness.

A Course in Miracles - Urtext material - reproduced with permission from the Foundation for Inner Peace (acim.org), and the Foundation for A Course in Miracles (facim.org).
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