We each, as spirit, are capable of manifesting any form that we like, and of showing up or appearing to take form in any particular form imaginable. We are not really confined to any one form and can change them at will.
When we decide to incarnate 'as' a body, we seem to take on a particular form, which btw is constantly changing, and gradually steer the manifestation of that body in various directions of growth and change. This is all done in the mind.
It is possible for some individuals with greater awareness to shift the form of the body from one state to another more readily utilizing mind power and miracles, for example. Health can turn into sickness, and sickness into health. These are shifts in physicality which you would think are not really shifts of a singular globular 'blob' of matter, but it really is.
Similarly, all shapeshifter are capable of morphing into any number of forms, even beyond the human form.
Now, the interesting thing also with shapeshifter is that there is a 'pool' or 'ocean' of unifies, blended-together shape shifters who are in what you could call a non-manifest or non-specific form. This is very nicely illustrated in the Star Trek Deep Space Nine series btw where Odo, a significant character, is a shapeshifter who can become any form and can return to a lake filled with other shape shifters who are all blended together. On a physical level this is representative, symbolically, of what we are capable of, and in fact we are also capable of these physical shifts.
The point to be made here, is that it is natural and normal for us to co-exist in a unified pool of 'oneness' where we are not any specific form and where we are all the same, sharing everything with each other. This is our home. The Spirit of God.
So really we are not locked into forms, but we come to believe we are, and act like our body is rigid and changes slowly and is very hard to adjust at will. But we can. And this ability can strengthen as we transcend the body in its limiting awareness, and return to an awareness that we are spiritual shape-shifters, or rather, shape-transcendent. Form is not who we are and it is not our true identity, or our natural home. It is just something we become imprisoned in for a while.
1. "The Separation is merely another term for a split mind."
So the so-called "separation from God" or "being separate" or "believing in separation" is in YOUR mind, in the form of YOUR mind being SPLIT. It splits by attacking, which is sin, which creates a divide or gap, which is also spacetime, and separates part of mind off from the rest.
2. "Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING."
You use projection, which is also exclusion and dissociation, in order to increase the separation IN YOUR MIND, by continuing to SPLIT YOUR MIND between seemingly internal and external parts, while identifying only with the internal parts, and with the body which is a symbolic separation device.
3. "In your madness, you OVERLOOK REALITY COMPLETELY, and you see ONLY YOUR SPLIT MIND everywhere you look."
You see a projection of YOUR SPLIT MIND everywhere you look, and then you think that the "separated off" exclusively guilty parts you see are not part of you, but they are, because ideas do not leave their source/mind.
4. "A split mind CANNOT perceive its fullness, and needs the miracle OF its wholeness to dawn upon it and heal it."
YOUR mind needs healing in order to stop being split and return to wholeness. It's not just a matter of not "believing in separation", your mind must STOP SEPARATING itself into two parts. The SPLIT in the mind has to be healed. It's like a psychological wound, a deep rift driven down the center of you.
5. "Your mind IS one with God's. Denying this and thinking otherwise has held your ego together, but has literally split your mind. As a loving brother, I am deeply concerned with your minds"
Denying God is denying wholeness, which therefore induces a state of believing you are less than whole, therefore partial, therefore split apart into parts, therefore separated off and divided. Your mind is in fragments until it becomes healed and reintegrates as a whole mind, one within itself.
6. "It is your task to heal the sense of separation that has made him sick."
You can undo the separation in your mind, AND in your brother's mind, to heal others of the separation. Separation induces illness because it is a denial of wholeness and therefore is against immortality and life. A whole mind is a healthy mind, which in turn induces physical health. Mind is healed by INTEGRATION.
"The purpose of this course is integration."
"The lack of integration which this split state implies"
"Fear produces dissociation because it induces SEPARATION. Healing ALWAYS induces harmony because it proceeds from integration."
"The mind always strives for integration, and if it is split, and WANTS TO KEEP THE SPLIT, it will believe it has ONE goal by MAKING IT ONE."
"True depth perception becomes possible only at the highest order of perceptual integration."
Forgiveness is the only way out of the dream. It is the only way to undo error. It is the only salvation. It literally IS the way that you learn illusions are illusions and not the truth. It is your only option, your only hope, your only salvation.
"Forgiveness is for God and toward God but not of Him. It is impossible to think of anything He created that could need forgiveness. Forgiveness, then, is an illusion, but because of its purpose, which is the Holy Spirit's, it has one difference. Unlike all other illusions it lead away from error and not towards it. "
"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin, except a false idea about God's Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is now the Will of God."
"Fear binds the world. Forgiveness sets it free."
"Forgiveness gives the miracle its strength to overlook illusions."
"Let forgiveness be the substitute for fear. This is the only rule for happy dreams. "
"Forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear. "
"Illusion makes illusion. Except one. Forgiveness is illusion that is answer to the rest. "
"Forgiveness offers everything I want. What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? All this forgiveness offers you, and more."
"Those who forgive are releasing themselves from illusions, while those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them. As you condemn only yourself, so do you forgive only yourself. "
"The one correction possible for false perception must be true perception. It will not endure. But for the time it lasts it comes to heal. For true perception is a remedy with many names. Forgiveness, salvation, Atonement, true perception, all are one."
"Forgiveness is still, and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspect of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is."
"This is not a course in philosophical speculation, nor is it concerned with precise terminology. It is concerned only with Atonement, or the correction of perception. The means of the Atonement is forgiveness."
Jesus often speaks truth in such a simple way yet so deep and profound and accurate and wise... he said in reference to other people:
"Let them come to God willingly, do not try to force them to home."
Theres so much letting go and allowing in that. Such a dropping of all attempts to "will for another" that they listen or accept or agree or follow or comply in any way. It means even the willingness to let someone choose to hurt themselves or be sick or die if that is what they will.
It also means that everyone HAS to willingly want and choose God for themselves. "Heaven is a choice I must make". You can’t make it for them. Nor can you force them to make it. Everyone has to FREELY, WILLINGLY, WANT to accept the atonement/truth. They have to come by themselves, to choose it.
I often fall into this trap of trying to convince others or to be frustrated if they don’t seem to "want to see", or to make them wrong if they disagree or choose otherwise. Trying to fix people, to force them, to not allow them to choose freely, is a disrespect of their free will and is also trying to be responsible for them or to make them do what you want, so that if they will change and accept truth - you don’t’ have to. It’s the ego’s form of forgiveness to destroy.
It’s so simple, we just need to allow people to have whatever they will for themselves even if we think we know better or can see clearly that they are mistaken. It’s such a simple teaching - to respect the free will of others, so that you will respect your own - but the ego in us is determined to coerce, require, manipulate, demand, force, persuade, make wrong, etc ... all which seem to be attempts to "induce willfulness" when in fact it is an attempt to disallow willfulness.
It’s similar to the miracle principle, not to use miracles as spectacles with the purpose of inducing belief. We are not to try to force people to believe. All we can is put it out there, let go, allow, and let go of the attachment to control or being upset when someone freely chooses against you.
We all have free will. God created is with freeedom in order to allow us to freely WILL and WANT to do His will, to choose it willingly. Without the freedom to choose NOT to do His will, we would not really be willingly freely when we DO choose it.
This is why we are co-creators with God - "God created separate beings who hae everything individually". We have to let go of trying to deny that in others otherwise we will deny our own freedom as well.
"I am as God created me.
I will remain forever as I was
Created by the Changeless like Himself.
And I am one with Him, and He with me."
The truth is that you are incapable of change. You cannot change yourself. No one else can change you. The world cannot change you. Even God cannot change you. You are exactly and precisely as you were created to be, and have never changed at all.
You have dreamed that change is possible, and this has produced dreams where you changed into something you're not. Dreams where you transitioned from innocence to guilt, from wholeness to destruction, from eternal life to death. But all of these must be a fantasy if God's will be that you are unchangeable forever.
It is because you cannot be changed by anything, that you are immortal. You are permanent and you will live forever. Since you cannot be changed, you cannot be attacked or hurt, threatened or destroyed. You cannot become corrupt or turn to evil. Nor can you alter your real identity and nature. Unchangeable, unchanged, and unchanging, you must still be exactly as God created you to be. You must still be exactly the original self that was given, without the slightest degradation or aging or decay or transformation. Without growth or withering. Without a change of any kind.
Your complete lack of change guarantees permanent peace. If nothing can disturb you, your peace cannot be disturbed. If nothing can attack and change you, you have no reason for worry. If there is no power in all of existence capable of redefining you, you are not in danger of being overthrown, rewritten, altered, abused, hurt or forgotten.
You are absolute and fixed. You are infinite and unlimited. You are immortal and endless. You do not falter, you do not fail. You do not have good days and bad days. You do not cease, and you do not begin. There is nothing you can do to destroy yourself or anyone else. And nothing in all existence can ever bring an end to your life.
"You have NOT attacked God, and you DO love Him. Can you change your reality? No-one can will to destroy himself. When you think you are attacking your SELF, it is a sure sign that you hate what you think you are. And this, and ONLY this, can BE attacked by you. What you THINK you are CAN be hateful, and what this strange image makes you do can be very destructive. The destruction is no more real than the image, but those who make idols DO worship them. The idols are nothing, but their worshippers are the Sons of God in sickness."
This is what you have to remember and attune to if you want to be at peace. Only the immortal can afford to rest eternally, certain of their endless indestructibility and invulnerability. Sure of their absolute perfect protection by the laws of God. Convinced that nothing in the world of dreams can alter them in any way, upset them, disturb them, horrify them, harm them or destroy them.
You are completely unchangeable. The only meaningful change possible, now that you have dreamed of change being possible, is to change your mind about the belief that change is possible. This means learning to accept that you really cannot change yourself, and you have never changed yourself. That you cannot change others either, except to restore to them the full awareness and expression of who they already are as given by God.
Forgiveness looks upon the unchangeable and changes it not. It is a direct recognition of reality and truth. It sees only the truth that sin has never been possible, because to sin is to change. If God's creation were capable of being changed, in effect attacked, this indeed would be a sin. Believing such a change has been accomplished must be a mistake. God's Kingdom has never even for a moment lost anything, nor has it been even mildly influenced.
Real life is always real because reality is changeless. It is precisely because it never changes that it has reality at all. To change is to be conditional and to depend on something other than what is. The truth never changes and this is why it is true. It withstands all assaults and all attempts to modify or define it. You cannot define what is true. What is true is of God. You can but accept its changelessness and be at peace.
"Reality is changeless. It is this that MAKES it real, and KEEPS it separate from all appearances. It MUST transcend all form to be itself. It CANNOT change."
"Your brother has a changelessness in him beyond appearance and deception both."
"BECAUSE reality is changeless is a miracle already there to heal all things that change, and offer them to you to see in happy form, devoid of fear."
"The changelessness of Heaven is in you, so deep within that nothing in this world but passes by, unnoticed and unseen."
"Nothing is asked of you but to ACCEPT the Changeless and Eternal that abide in him, for YOUR Identity is there."
"Who uses but Christ's vision finds a peace so deep and quiet, undisturbable and wholly changeless, that the world contains no counterpart."
"Give thanks as well that you are changeless, for the Son He loves is changeless as Himself."
"What is timeless IS ALWAYS THERE because its BEING is eternally changeless."
"You are still My holy Son, forever innocent, forever loving and forever loved, as limitless as Your Creator, and completely changeless and forever pure."
"Put all your faith in the Love of God within you, eternal, changeless and forever unfailing."
"If you could realize NOTHING is changeless BUT the Will of God, this course would not be difficult for you."
"This in no way contradicts the changelessness of mind as GOD created it. But YOU think that you HAVE changed it, as long as you learn through the ego."
"When you heal, that is exactly what you ARE learning (doing). You are recognizing the changeless mind in your brother by perceiving (knowing) that he could NOT have changed his mind. That is how you perceive the Holy Spirit in him. It is ONLY the Holy Spirit in him that never changes His mind."
"And now God's KNOWLEDGE, changeless, certain, pure and wholly understandable, enters its Kingdom."
"When ANYTHING threatens your peace of mind, ask yourself "Has God changed His Mind about me?" Then ACCEPT His decision, for it is indeed changeless, and refuse to change your mind about YOURSELF."
"Forever unopposed by opposites of any kind, the Thoughts of God remain forever changeless, with the power to extend forever changelessly but yet within Themselves, for They are everywhere."
"Nothing that God knows not exists. And what He knows exists forever, changelessly."
"Teaching aims at change, but God created ONLY the changeless."
"The miracle reminds you of a Cause forever present, perfectly untouched by time and interference. NEVER changed from what It IS. And YOU are Its effects, as changeless and as perfect as Itself."
"ITS effects are changelessly eternal, BEYOND fear, and PAST the world of sin entirely."
"What is in him is changeless, and YOUR changelessness is recognized in its acknowledgment."
"His changeless state is BEYOND time, for his purity remains forever beyond attack, and without variability."
"The Christ revealed to you NOW has no past, for He is changeless. AND IN HIS CHANGELESSNESS LIES YOUR RELEASE."
"Yet love must be forever like itself, changeless forever, and forever WITHOUT alternative. And so it is."
"Yet in your mind is One Who KNOWS it is unbroken, and forever changeless."
"It is impossible that God lose His identity, for if He did, YOU WOULD LOSE YOURS. And BEING yours, He cannot change Himself, for your identity IS changeless. The miracle ACKNOWLEDGES His changelessness, by seeing His Son as he always was, and NOT as he would make himself."
"His Will does not vacillate, being changeless forever."
"The Soul always remains changeless, because it never leaves the sight of God."
The world out there, or in which your body-self is located, is a dream. It does not exist. You are dreaming it. It is no different to dreams at night. It is entire symbolic and filled with symbols. To awaken must mean the dream comes to an end. This means the world must disappear completely.
"Your sleeping and your waking dreams have different forms, and that is all." (--the physical world is just a dream you're having. You did not wake up this morning!)
"You are the dreamer of the world of dreams." (--see, you're dreaming the entire world)
"Love was never in the world of dreams." (--there is no love inside the dream of death, even if you see it with love - love is incompatible with dreams and would end them)
"They are dreams because they are not true. Their equal lack of truth becomes the basis for the miracle, which means that you have understood that dreams are dreams." (--recognizing the world is a dream is the key to awakening from it)
"Dreams disappear when light has come and you can see." (--dreams disappear when you awaken to the light of truth. In truth dreams do not exist and do not happen. They are unreal. There is no world. You can't be perceiving the world as real and be awake.)
"To mean you want the peace of God is to renounce all dreams." (--can you have the peace of God and be inside the dream? No. This means you are still dreaming and are not at peace.)
"Dreams are chaotic because they are governed by your conflicting wishes." (--the split mind has multiple wills conflicting with each other - persona and shadow, and must be chaotic. There is no perfect dream or perfect world)
"The miracle does not select some dreams to leave untouched by its beneficence." (--miracles are applied to the dream world to undo it!)
"Let forgiveness be the substitute for fear. This is the only rule for happy dreams." (--dreams can become happIER, but when the happiest possible dream is perceived, its usefulness is done and it will disappear and dreaming will end)
"Give all your dreams to Christ and let Him be your Guide to healing, leading you in prayer beyond the sorry reaches of the world." (--the world is a sorry place, a dream of death. Beyond it is God's reality, which is not of this world and demonstrates this world does not exist)
"A miracle has come to heal God's Son, and close the door upon his dreams of weakness, opening the way to his salvation and release." (--all dreams (the world, the body) are dreams of weakness - the world is attempted suicide)
"Give truth its due, and it will give you yours. You were not meant to suffer and to die. Your Father wills these dreams gone. Let truth correct them all." (--you cannot die, it's just a dream of death.)
"There is no death because the Son of God is like his Father. Nothing you can do can change Eternal Love. Forget your dreams of sin and guilt, and come with me instead to share the resurrection of God's Son. And bring with you all those whom He has sent to you to care for as I care for you." (--enough said - we are to stop dreaming entirely and help others to do the same)
"What is seen in dreams seems to be very real. Yet the Bible says that a deep sleep fell upon Adam, and nowhere is there reference to his waking up. The world has not yet experienced any comprehensive reawakening or rebirth. Such a rebirth is impossible as long as you continue to project or miscreate." (--the world is a place of sleep, unconsciousness, and unawareness. Its condition or state cannot continue if the state of awareness increases and there is awakening. The dream must end. The world is over. ONLY heaven is real.)
When I have guilt in me, I am unaware. Guilt blocks my awareness. I can't even tell that I'm guilty. It's not like, I have full complete awareness and there is also guilt present. If I had full complete awareness there would be no guilt. When guilt is present, my awareness is diminished and I don't know what I'm doing or what I've done.
This is really why our sense of separation from God is riddled with guilt, there is an aspect to it of shock and horror and not realizing what we've done. We then seem to have some awareness of the results of what we've done and it seems like we must've made a terrible mistake, and therefore we are now horrified by ourselves and are afraid.
What's needed to escape this isn't so much to admit to guilt. Guilt can't be admitted to. There can't be a total admittance of truth at the same time as guilt existing. You can admit to being innocent, but you can only deny being guilty. And the only solution to being guilty is to reclaim innocence. Owning up to guilt, if you were to do it, would just hold the guilt against you and make you suffer. This is why we don't want to do it. Deep down we know we just made a mistake and that we didn't mean to.
"Forgive them father, for they know not what they do."
It's hard for me at times to admit to 'what I did' even if what I did was an accident, because that means owning the guilt. If it were possible to admit to something without being guilty, that would be easier. But nobody wants to own guilt. It is counter-productive. We should want to get back to innocence, as a true atonement, rather than say "I'm really guilty". Owning guilt doesn't atone for anything. To the ego it atones because the ego wants to find someone to blame and to keep the guilt, but to the Holy Spirit we are always innocent.
Is regret healthy? Is a guilty conscience helpful? Should we suffer in remorse? How long is enough time to be ashamed? How much suffering is enough to atone for a sin?
The ego wants us to own up to 'really doing stuff' because this makes the error real and doesn't forgive it. Holy Spirit asks us to be forgiving, to overlook error, and to demonstrate that it has had no effects. To demonstrate that we and the other person are innocent because nothing has really happened. The ego doesn't want this, because then it can't find anyone guilty. It takes practice.
Do you have the right to claim innocence and to choose to relieve yourself of all guilt and return to innocence with Holy Spirit? And what if someone else doesn't believe you deserve it yet?
We need to all remember that if we find someone else guilty it doesn't prove that they are guilty, it proves that WE are guilty. We can't find someone else guilty without us being involved, no matter how convinced we are. If the other person is truly the separate guilty party, then we should remain in perfect innocence. And if we remain in perfect innocence, we will see perfect innocence in the other person, so we won't be able to find them guilty. It's not possible to find someone guilty without including ourselves. That kind of puts a damper on the ego's parade. We MUST forgive otherwise we ourselves cannot be forgiven.
You may believe that you need to get love from someone important. Maybe a spouse or a friend or a child or parent.
But this love that you think you need from them, is a substitute for the love of God.
Your attempt to need or depend on their love is a way for you to claim that you need to get love from outside of yourself, because you lack it, because God doesn't love you.
You'll be upset about how your need for love is not fulfilled by others, and why they are supposed to fulfill it, and why you feel so lost and empty because of their failure to do so.
But this so-called "need" that you have, is really your own belief and assertion that you're not lovable, an attempt to avoid being loved by God, and a way to hide from love.
The external seeking for that love when then look like a really deep desire to be loved and to want love, but it's really in truth a cover-up for an attempt to not want love to be inside of you.
So long as someone else is tasked with providing love for you, and so long as you keep them in that role, you are in denial and are trying to stop yourself from being actually loved.
You do not need other people to love you. You do not need to get special love from them.
Your "need" is a belief in, a choice for, and attempt to bring about, a lack of love, because it's part of your ego's defense against God. For it to then seem to yearn for love externally is a fake motivation, a cover-up story, to pretend to desire love very strongly, as a way to always move away from where love really is.
This so-called "need" for love is a self-fulfilling prophecy, in that as soon as it's put into place, it stops love from being present. It's an avoidance of love, and an assertion that love does not exist. To then proceed to seek for love based on this is to guarantee you will not find it. "Seek and do not find" is your ego's primary mandate.
The only way you are going to experience love is to let all those people off the hook, to stop expecting or needing them to be the ones to love you, to recognize they themselves need love because they are resisting God, and that you need to get your love directly from God within. And the only way to do that is not to fulfill your need for love, but to get rid of your neediness because it's actually what's blocking you from love's presence.
You need to instead open up to accept and allow God to love you directly, to receive it, to experience it, to let it be true, and to be filled up with it from the inside. It means dropping your belief that you can't be loved or that it's someone else's job to do so. You need to learn to love yourself, and in so doing, allow God to love you also.
It's God's love that you really want. It's God's love that is the only real love, anyway.
"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. ***There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself*** and the power and glory he thinks he has lost."
"For everyone is seeking to escape from the prison he has made, and the way to find release is not denied him."
It's strange to realize that you don't remember who you really are. Your mind is in a state of confusion. You are lost and seemingly alone in darkness. You've forgotten what is true of you, your true nature, or what you are really like.
Your real identity seems to have become buried underneath the rubble of the ego thought system's destructiveness. You seek in the darkness for yourself, trying to sort through the clues which may point in the direction of yourself. Yet you don't even remember what your self is actually like, so can't quite tell what it is you're looking for.
In the separation from God you denied your soul, and blocked awareness of your real identity as Christ. You forgot who you were. Jesus even goes to the extent to say that because of the authority problem, in which you rejected God as your father, you actually believe that you don't exist at all.
Yet everyone is trying to find the self that they lost. We're all searching for some sense of something we once knew, but can't quite remember. Some self that was, and still is, our true reality, but which has become so obscure that we're not even sure where to look.
Some have a notion of a higher self, as if the soul is some other secondary self. And this is only because the ego that you have become identified with instead is a secondary sense of self. But it is not yourself. It is not who you are, and nor is your body.
Your "higher" self isn't really higher, nor does it really have a separate mind of its own. It isn't a second you, but rather, your first and only you. It's who you are deep down. The you that is true to yourself. The you that is actual and permanent and unconfused, uncluttered with illusions and unblocked by denial. It's your spiritual holy self.
If you reach into your mind, recognizing that the ego you've latched onto is not yourself, and with willingness to go beyond the body which is also not yourself, you can search within (or above) for your soul. Reach out to it, or rather, to you. Dig deeper behind the clouds of denial and the blocks to awareness. Who are you really?
Somewhere in your mind, there is awareness of the real self that you are. The most honest direct self, simple and pure and strong. The self that you forgot. The self that you have trouble remembering. The self you used to be before the confusion of separation set in. Who are you really, behind all these masks and disguises? What are you really like? Where is your soul?
The ego thrives on two sides of a coin: desire and fear.
Desire is its attempt to "get", which really means to steal from another and deprive them of it.
Fear is its attempt to "not get" or to "get rid of", which means to be stolen from and deprived.
These are the two sides of the same horizontal axis in which some finite amount of something is transferred to or from another, to or from the separate self.
Fear is actually a form of attack which is an attempt to murder, and an attempt to "make it go away", or a rejection of something - typically to get rid of "only what is negative".
Greed, shall we say, is more a form of selfishness and an attempt to be given "only what is positive".
So the ego is always trying to get rid of/kill what it perceives as negative, through fear, and to get more of what it regards as positive through possession or attachment.
Everyone always tries to get rid of what they consider "false", while trying to get more of what they consider "true", whether it be on the level of spirit/reality or in illusions. The ego and the soul both want what they consider to be true, and what is true is always valuable.
However, attachment through getting, also leads to the potential for loss, because you can only seem to lose what you seem to have stolen. Believing it can be stolen from another is to believe it can be stolen from you.
And similarly fear can attract to you what you do not what, in the same vein as "what you resist persists". Fearing makes it real and, while saying you do not want it, is a choice to have more of it.
So in effect the ego attacks itself by making itself be threatened by the very things it says it does not want, so that they haunt it and pursue it relentlessly. Which is why fear also entails a sort of running away and being chased (especially in dreams).
And then on the flipside the ego causes itself to lose the very things it cherishes by trying to stop them leaving, which is a kind of push/pull energy that forces them away.
In other words, attraction and repulsion are the same thing. Since the ego also fears what it thinks it wants, this prevents it from gaining it, and so deprives itself.
What you try gain you lose. What you fear comes to you. Success is failure. Failure is success. Attachment becomes loss. Gain becomes the fear of loss. Loss becomes deprivation which inspires lack and wanting, which leads to trying to get, etc. The metaphysics/dynamics/logic here is quite interesting.
And on it goes, feeding upon its own madness.
"Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering, and intense fear of loss." UrW41L1