This will sound absurd to anyone who is actually upset or offended.
If you are completely clear and certain about what the truth is about yourself, it will be unshakeable and undeniable. You will be so aware of this truth that when something comes along which attempts to contradict it, you will recognize that thing as completely false and untrue.
When you are completely clear about the truth of you, you will also recognize that it is impossible to be attacked or targeted by the egos in other people. The ego in another is a claim that something false is true. It is confusion about what the truth is. Their claim that something is true of "you", is a claim that there is a "false you" within you that is really there, and that it is your identity. It is not.
They will attack a perceived, projected false identity, which they made up, and are attacking that false identity thinking that it is who and what you are. If you are clear about what your true identity is, you will recognize and know that they are not attacking you at all, they're attacking something they are projecting from themselves. They are in fact attacking themselves and not you at all.
It then comes as a relief to know that if you are completely certain about what is true about you, what is your true identity, and you are confident in that awareness and accepted knowledge, then it will always show you that "nothing real can be threatened." The ego never attacks reality because it can't, it only ever attacks itself and its projections of itself.
Curiously, you'll remain perfectly calm and still and see other people spouting off all kinds of attempts at accusation and attack, none of which have anything to do with you whatsoever. You cannot take it personally because it is literally not about you. Being able to see and recognize that it is not about you, because it is clearly false, because you are clear about what the truth us, makes you completely out of reach of all attack and therefore what you are can never be offended or upset.
From this clear perspective you will then see that other people's attacks and blame and accusations and name-calling and all the rest of it, is really their own self-attack all happening inside their own little bubble of reality. It's having no effect on you at all because it's not even really about you.
But if you are mistaken, yourself, and you believe something that's untrue of you is actually true of you, you WILL believe that not only is someone's attack about you, it is attacking your Self and it is actually agreeing with what you believe about yourself. If you believe you are guilty or sinful and someone accuses "that guilty you" of being guilty of something, you will recoil and react with horror and upset and have a flare-up of unconscious guilt, which you'll try to project the cause of onto the other person, but basically you are upset because you agree with them.
If you believe there's something wrong with you and someone says there's something wrong with you, even if that's horrible and hurts and you want to deny it and want to stop them from saying it, you still are the one who is believing it about yourself. It doesn't even matter if they start or stop or continue or not. You are the one who has attacked yourself, and that's the only reason why you are upset.
You are not upset because the other people had the power to put upset into you, or to cause you to be offended. It's not possible for anyone to offend the truth of what you are. Only your ego - which is false and untrue - can become offended. And because it's the ego being offended, it will be in denial about how it is at war with itself, and will use any opportunity it can to find other people guilty or to blame them for being the one who is wrong.
It is not mature in any way to accuse others of being the cause of something you do not like. It is not mature to blame someone for triggering your pre-existing upset. It is not mature to be highly offended by events in the world or what people do to each other or what they try to do to you. These are just cover-ups for your own self attack and self hatred which you are not willing to admit to.
Do you think God is offended by murder? He laughs in the face of it knowing it has no power whatsoever to do anything real to anyone. Do you think God is upset and hurt when someone is attacked? No. God remains happy and loving at all times and cannot be upset. This either makes God a horrible bigoted racist sexist anti-whatever fucker, or .... there's something majorly wrong with how we're seeing the world. I'll wager that God is the sane one here.
When we project our sin onto other people, we position ourselves as wanting to be affected by them or by the world. We want them to be the cause of us, and to experience effects against our will.
This literally is an attempt to sacrifice ourselves. It is attempted suicide.
We seem to be willing somehow to trade our life in order for someone else to suffer for our sin.
We want them to be the sinner, so that we can be not the sinner, and will make ourselves their victim in order to prove that we are not the one who sinned.
And in so doing, will willingly sacrifice ourselves, make ourselves victimized, attack ourselves through them, and eventually render ourselves as "unwillingly dead", in order to prove the point.
At least, we reason, we'll go down as innocence and not the guilty one, and the guilty ones will get all the blame for seeming to cause this tragedy. And in death we will seem to be exalted and a hero, worshipped for the persona of goodness that we fooled the whole world into believing, when all we did was succeed at putting all blame onto everything but ourselves.
Projection is an attempt to get away with murder. To accuse and find someone else guilty of wrongdoing, in contrast to our own innocence, in order to prove that we were not the one who sinned against God. The problem is, when we attempt to do this, we murder ourselves, by attacking ourselves indirectly through other people and through our belief in being at the effect of external causes.
So when you want someone else to take the hit for you, rest assured, you will receive the effects. Jesus is explicit about this in the course. Do not think that the effects you prepared for your brother will be received by them and not you, because you can be assured that you will be the one to receive them.
Try to destroy another, and you will destroy yourself.
And as you try to destroy another, to make out that the world causes you to suffer and die, you might well come across as the least likely, least causative, least choosing, least wanting person in the world, as though there was nothing you could do to prevent this attack. And secretly, unconsciously, you will have orchestrated the entire farce to paint this rosy picture of yourself, in order to condemn the entire world and accuse all your brothers of sinning against you.
Everyone who dies goes down in flames and everyone who looks upon them considers it a tragedy and an unwanted victimization. Poor them. Well... they fucking chose every single part of it, and they did so in order to victimize everyone else in the world. No-one who dies does so without some degree of belief that the world has accused them and condemned them and has done this to them, and that therefore they are justified in being dead in order to accuse the world in return and find it to be the cause of them.
There is nothing glorious about dying. It is not a sign of dignity or respectfulness or accomplishment or unfairness. It is a mistaken choice to present the son of God as attackable and to use the body to attack the entire world. There is nothing justified about dying. It is total failure, the completion of the lie of sin, an absolute reversal of God's will, a complete opposition to sanity, and total denial. It is a movement into unconsciousness and suppression of will, a complete disownership of power and a giving up on God.
No-one dies without their own consent. Death is failure to live. Every person who seems to die has succeeded in fooling the entire world into believing that the son of God is bound to a body and is confused with what seems to by destroyable, and is therefore destroyed. It is a crucifixion of the Son of God.
The funeral which sorrowfully "honors" the person fails to mention that they told the biggest lie in the world, that they attempted to attack the entire world with their death, that they have demonstrated the profound belief that God has caused death not life, and that they have completely failed to awaken from their insanity. It is hardly something to celebrate.
There is no death. The son of God is free. He who believes this will demonstrate it by never again choosing to create the circumstances of death, which is firmly rooted in victimhood and self attack. No ascended master would ever demonstrate that they can be destroyed. All sickness is attempt to prove you can be hurt. And every form of suffering is an accusation that the world has caused this to happen and not yourself.
There is no such thing as a responsible sick person. There is no such thing as an innocent person who died. There is no such thing as a justified victim. And there is no such thing as someone dying in order to leave the dream.
All is choice.
Some time ago, I did not even remotely recognize that I was choosing to be a victim. If I was afraid, attacked, threatened, hurt in any way, I would see it as the other person was entirely responsible.
Over time, as I've tried to apply forgiveness principles and the secret of salvation, taking responsibility for what I'm doing to myself and for choosing all feelings, my victimhood role has changed in appearance.
Now I see that when I "go into victimhood", this entails me deliberately trying to position myself as "at the effect" of others, trying to pull off a stunt of projection and blame, weakening myself, choosing to be upset, and generally being the cause of what I'm feeling.
As I practice this more and more, becoming "victimy" is recognized much more clearly as me descending into a funky state of "being affected", where I'm attacking myself and trying to pass it off as someone else's fault. I start to notice attacks coming out of me in an attempt to hurl it towards someone else. And I start to feel the typical feelings of fear and hurt that accompany this "role-play".
But I more quickly catch myself and take responsibility, to admit this stress and upset and suffering that I'm experiencing is solely because I've slipped down the slope into dishonesty, into projecting and blaming and trying to force myself to be affected by something. It's a way that I use other people to try to hurt myself. And I can no longer wholly accuse them of being the reason why I feel this way.
So the challenge now seems easier, to get myself out of this role and to stop "playing the victim", in recognition that I not only have the power of decision and responsibility to do so, I can do so and, when I do, no-one else can stop me doing so. It's up to me to decide that I want to feel better and to change my mind so that I do. This is especially much easier once you can see clearly and squarely that it's you doing this to yourself when trying to put forth the "lie" that it's not.
I now recognize much more clearly the component of self-caused suffering mixed in with what used to appear to be just the effects of attack. The unconsciousness of believing it was always coming from someone else is lifting. It's getting to the point where even if I do try to attack, project, hurt or blame, I simultaneously am aware of feeling that I am hurting myself, attacking myself, and am fully included in all the suffering I'm trying to get rid of.
I am seeing that this position of victim simply does not work, and I cannot escape what's happening inside my mind because "ideas leave not their source" even when I'm split minded and believing it's someone else who did this. I have "re-framed" the lie of fear enough to recognize that its entirely bullshit to claim I am afraid "because of" anyone or anything. In my fear is simply a dishonest attempt on my own part to disguise myself and portray myself as suffering, to try to gain the "reward" of passing off causation onto someone else through an accusation of sin.
As you become clearer and more recognizing exactly what it is you are doing, in your mind and attitude and choosing, versus what you thought you were doing when it was on auto-pilot, it simply becomes very obvious that you cannot move into egotism without feeling like shit, and you cannot escape the consequences of your choosing, nor can you blame without being blamed, or try to make suffer without suffering yourself.
The next step then is of course, in admitting to this charade, and recognizing its utter futility, simply stopping this "behavior" and lifting out of it, now that you "know better" and cannot pretend to hide from the simply truth that "you cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself." I am ceasing to play the role of victim and to instead step back into the shoes of Christ, personally empowered and stronger in the light of truth.
The victim role is not what it appears to be. It's not even remotely to do with what other people are causing or doing to you. It's entirely a fake postulating of yourself in trying to pull of a representation of you as "a sick and suffering you", so that you get the payoff of trying to blame someone else for it. Always always always you are doing it to yourself, and being in DENIAL of this fact is really the only problem.
Once you admit to it enough you can no longer put the cat back in the bag. And it's then impossible to even try to attack others when you're aware that doing so makes you hurt. If they are to suffer, you will suffer. The only way out is to stop hurting yourself. And when you choose your immortality and invulnerability, nothing can ever hurt you again.
"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true."
Here is a very important statement by Jesus:
"Never attempt to OVERLOOK your guilt BEFORE you ask the Holy Spirit's help."
Notice how this says ****NEVER****. That means, without exception. The Holy Spirit is supposed to be involved in ALL healing and ALL forgiveness.
Now, if you also look at what we're told about the Holy Spirit, he is the HELP that God appointed to us. He is the only therapist. He is the healer. We are NOT asked to do everything on our own, and in fact that would be arrogant, because we haven't got a clue what to do. We NEED HIS HELP because we are tangled and caught up in so many illusions, misbeliefs, misinterpretations and are somewhat clueless about how to get out of it.
The Holy Spirit does have a FUNCTION, a place, a role. The holy instant itself is supposed to remove fear and hatred from your mind. The Holy Spirit himself is supposed to heal you. Which means you need only provide a little willingness, and invite him in, and welcome him, and make room for Him to operate through you. You are supposed to let Him express through you, talk through you, heal through you. You have to allow Him to operate on you, allowing Him to do His job. The course is not a self-study, it's a cooperative partnership.
"I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM."
By all consequences he means every symptom, side effect, condition, sickness, upset, and any form of suffering, which you induced through your poor choosing. "I made the decision myself." He can and will heal all of it on all levels, if you will trust and allow him to do so. But this act of trust, is more than just surrender. Surrender is like going up to the front door and opening it, to see Him outside waiting to enter. You have to go even further, to step aside and let Him walk in through the door. He wants to live in you. And by healing you, He makes you an instrument of healing.
"I will be healed as I let him teach me to heal."
This entails receiving Help. Receiving love. Not just conceptually, but through will and openness and trust and connection. Love does not enter where it's not welcome. You have to not only invite it in, you have to welcome it. And welcome means willingness to move past and let go of anything that He wants to access. You have to let him into your house, take up residence in you and operate your appliances. You have to make room in you for this to happen. You have to share yourself with Him. And by doing so, you share His function.
He has Gifts of God to give to you, if you will allow and receive them. But you have to honestly want them, thus welcome them, and therefore be open to receiving what has been given. Just as God has a symbiotic relationship with His souls, so too the Holy Spirit is part you, part God. Let Him into you, into your body, into your feelings, let Him operate on you, let Him work through you, and let Him heal you FOR you.
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"You cannot see the Holy Spirit, but you can see His manifestations. And unless you do, you will not realize He is there. Miracles are His witnesses, and speak for his Presence. What you cannot see becomes real to you only through the witnesses who speak for it. For you can be AWARE of what you cannot see, and it can become compellingly real to you, as its presence becomes manifest THROUGH you. Do His work, for you SHARE in His function. As your function in Heaven is creation, so your function on earth is healing. God shares His function with you in Heaven, and the Holy Spirit shares His with you on earth."
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"Prepare you NOW for the undoing of what never was. If you already UNDERSTOOD the difference between truth and illusion, Atonement would HAVE no meaning. The holy instant, your holy relationship, the Holy Spirit's teaching, and all the means by which salvation is accomplished, would have no purpose. For they are all but ASPECTS of the plan to change your dreams of fear to happy dreams, from which you waken easily to knowledge. Put yourself NOT in charge of this, for you can NOT distinguish between advance and retreat. Some of your greatest advances YOU have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats YOU have evaluated as success.
Never approach the holy instant AFTER you have tried to remove all fear and hatred from your mind. That is ITS function. Never attempt to OVERLOOK your guilt BEFORE you ask the Holy Spirit's help. That is HIS function. Your part is only to offer Him a LITTLE willingness to LET Him remove all fear and hatred, and to BE forgiven. On your little faith, joined with HIS understanding, HE will build your part in the Atonement, and MAKE SURE that you fulfill it easily. And, WITH Him, YOU will build a ladder planted in the solid rock of faith, and rising even to Heaven. Nor will you use it to ascend to Heaven alone."
"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be stronger than the body. Every miracle demonstrates this."
Think about this and what it means.
The mind MUST be stronger than the body. That means, if the body is doing ANYTHING, the mind has MORE POWER than it, and therefore gets to decide EVERYTHING about the body's condition and what it is doing. It gets to override ALL SICKNESS, and ALL DEATH.
Believing that your body has power over your mind is level confusion, and this believe ALONE can "cause" sickness to show up. Believing that your body has a will of its own, a mind of its own, can do stuff you do not want, can make sickness show up, or be caused by the world, or made to die against your will, PRODUCES SICKNESS, because it is FALSE. It's a lie.
Your mind is MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR BODY.
And, every MIRACLE folks... every fucking *MIRACLE*, demonstrates this.
So if you are not demonstrating this by having a sickness remain, or you go off and die, or you did not overcome death, or you keep having this sickness show up in the body while you THINK that your mind is awake and at peace, then you are IN DENIAL. Plain and simple.
Your mind IS more powerful than your body. Your mind MADE your body. And it is being projected BY the mind, IN the mind. So the mind can do ANYTHING IT WANTS to change the body. if it "can"t.... if you think you do not have that power or ability, you are ASLEEP, and you are in DENIAL, and not aware of the defenses against truth that you have erected.
Sickness in the body MUST therefore be undone, by the mind, in order to PROVE, that the mind is more powerful than the body. IF the mind cannot do this, the mind is NOT more powerful than the body, and you still believe in being a victim of the world, and will at some point go through death.
Its very simple. We are to get to the point where the mind CAN and WILL demonstrate that the body is entirely an effect of it, and so is EVERYTHING In this world. All bodies. All forms. Are effects of the mind. And if the mind gives command that these things shall change, do you think there is any power in all the world which can PREVENT that? There is nothing that can prevent that other than YOUR MIND.
The only thing which stops your mind demonstrating this power, is YOUR MIND, working against ITSELF. Because the secret to salvation is that you are doing this all to yourself. You are willing against yourself. That's what produces sickness and death.
There are no forces in the world, or wills, or minds, capable of stopping your mind from exerting its power over all things. The only obstacle is YOU. Your lack of belief in yourself. Your unawareness of God's power that you share. Your DENIAL. Death is denial. Sickness is denial. You cannot die happily or at peace. If death occurs, you are in denial.
The mind is more powerful than the body. EVERY MIRACLE demonstrates this. So that means, whatever the body state seemed to be, IF IT IS REVERSED and UNDONE by the mind, THIS IS A MIRACLE. A demonstration of PROOF that the ego's laws do not apply and the sickness was put in place by YOU, and therefore because "you made sickness and death and can therefore abolish both"!
Your mind is responsible for the state of your body!
Check this out!!!:
"Defend the body and you have attacked your mind. For you have seen in it the faults, the weaknesses, the limits and the lacks from which you think the body must be saved. You will not see the mind as separate from bodily conditions. And you will impose upon the body all the pain that comes from the conception of the mind as limited and fragile, and apart from other minds and separate from its Source. "
Believing the body is SEPARATE from the mind or that its condition is nothing to do with the mind, IS DENIAL.
Your mind is the cause of everything. You are a powerful creator. And you are to demonstrate WITH MIRACLES that your mind is more powerful than ALL FORMS OF MATTER. Every body, every mountain that you literally move, every storm you calm, every sickness you reverse, every death you undo, and every life you save.
God is everywhere. This is the common idea of omnipresence. But it goes further than this. To just say he's everywhere tends to be interpreted in terms of spacetime. Like, God is in the house and the tree and the car. It makes sense.
But there's a key component we need to consider. God can't be partly anywhere, because he is absolutely one within himself. Nor can only a part of him be somewhere, because all of him has to be there in completion.
So then think of it this way. The entirety of the whole of God is in the house, while simultaneously the entirety of the whole of God is in the car, while simultaneously the entirety of the whole of God is in the tree.
If you can visualize this at all in your mind, it is mind blowing. It defies and breaks all the laws of physics. We would claim, well, if all of God is in the car, how can he also be entirely and fully and completely in the house at the same time? Normal laws of spacetime would not permit this.
We'd normally say, well, if all of something is somewhere, none of it can be anywhere else. But this is spacetime reasoning. This is not how God thinks or how he functions and exists.
God transcends all the laws of separation. Therefore, God CAN be entirely in one place, and in another place, and in another place, all at the same time. And he is not only partly there, but totally there. His entire attention, if you will, all of his being, is fundamentally in EVERY location at the same time.
This is not the same thing as saying that he is just a very big object which has some parts of it spanning across space, where some of the outermost parts are in one location and some of the other parts are in another. It is not the same thing as saying God is a universe whereby it is very big and God's left hand is over here and God's right leg is over there. God is not space or time.
In fact God utterly transcends space and time, being omnipresent and eternal. The laws and limits of space have no effect or bearing whatsoever on his nature. All of God CAN BE ENTIRELY in one place, while also being ENTIRELY in another simultaneously.
This is somewhat akin to a "blur". If you take some object and you totally blur it, spreading it out, the object seems to be everywhere at once. You can't easily put a finger on it and see the original shape, it has lost all form in the blurring. But all of it is everywhere. It's sort of like being out of focus.
The thing is though, that it is the laws of spacetime that cause the object to not be identifiable in its clear form, at the same time as being distributed. And this does not apply to God.
God is not out of focus. He isn't sort of ... distracted and distributed and diffused and unlocalized. ALL of him, his entire attention, is in one place, AND all of his attention is in another place. He breaks all the laws and requirements of spatial separation. This means he is simultaneously abstract ie out of focus, AND entirely focused.
Ultimately not only is God everywhere, but ALL of God is everywhere. This in turn means that God is impersonal, AND fully personal, at the same time. He is impersonal in that there is no difference between who or what he is in any particular location or part of himself, treating everything in the same way. And he is ENTIRELY personal in that his entire being is in every part of himself and is fully present for every part.
Since God DID create a very large number of personal beings who each are a whole and fully created being, God has a COMPLETELY personal relationship with all of them individually and specifically. But at the same time, their relationship is open and shared with all others, and is equal to all others, making it entirely IMPERSONAL.
God loves YOU fully, and loves your brother's the same way.He therefore has an entirely personal AND impersonal relationship with all his creations.
"Revelation is intensely personal." - "They represent the original form of communication between God and His Souls" (personal communication between father and sons).
"God is everything and everywhere."
"Your brothers are everywhere."
"God Himself goes everywhere with us."
"God is still everywhere and in everything forever."
"He who would not forgive MUST judge to justify his failure to forgive." - ACIM
Meaning, forgiveness is a fixation on the truth that Christ is real and nothing of the ego is real. It fore-gives by having a purely forgiving attitude so that there are no errors introduced into your own perception, so that you do not see sin as real. This means you are overlooking the ego and not believing in it. You are not supposed to believe the ego even really exists!
If you fail to do this, if you are not truly purely forgiving, which occurs in the Atonement and the acceptance that nothing "real" has happened, therefore innocence prevails, then you will enter into a psychological condition which Jesus has named "judgement".
Judgement becomes your attempt to evaluate or justify WHY you did not forgive, by explaining using various other reasons what the cause is of what you're now seeing. Since you're making a perceptual error and are hallucinating errors, you will see sin as real and will attempt to explain why it is real by judging, ie evaluating, fake reasons.
Also judgement means that you are attacking, are condemning, are attempting to give reality to illusions, and are seeing someone as less than holy. This then takes on and accounts for all forms of what you think of as judgement, which is a judgemental attitude, but really encompasses the ENTIRE ego thought system. Every part of egoic perception is judgemental because it's a split-mind thought system of self-attack and condemnation. It points a finger of blame to scapegoat and enter denial, and finds someone guilty.
The belief that sin is real is judgementalism and is the opposite of forgiveness.
A major mistake all egoic minds make is believing that one part of the ego mind is holier than another, and then pits that one part against the other. One part is called holy and the other part is called evil. And then there is judgement against those that are considered sinful, even though the entirety of that attitude is judgemental. You see people in Christianity doing this where they become very polarized and anti-sin, waging a "spiritual war" against the devil, because they believe it is REAL. But it's not just Christians that do this, everyone with an ego does this.
You WILL be judgemental if you are not forgiving, and the only sign of true sanity is One who has absolutely no belief in "real sin" whatsoever. That mind, Holy Spirit's thought system of real truth, demonstrates and proves that there is no real ego at all. Nothing has happened. The atonement.
People will then say, if you want to do the Course correctly, you need to not be judgemental. So then people repress their ego and hide their judgements. If they believe sin is real they will continue to judge on some level even if they don't express it. And it will be an unconscious self attack. You can't just "stop judging" in expectation that this will solve everything, because the only reason you're judging is because you believe the world/body/ego/sin is reality or truth. You could take that path IF it would lead you to the insight that NONE of that is real, but I don't generally think that's happening for most people.
Instead, focus on forgiveness which is the true undoing of judgement, which must lead all the way to the Atonement if it is to completely uproot the core belief about the separation really happening. Only then will judgement cease, because judgement is really an EFFECT of non-forgiveness, not a cause in its own right.
P.S. I don't mean this post to be a "judgement" about judgemental Christians. Not all Christians are judgemental by any means. But they do often present a good example of this happening due to their belief in real sin and can't help but be "against" sinners. Some of the most intensely judgemental people I've met claim to believe in Jesus with the most gusto and passion, yet were horrible to be around and so incredibly righteous. Their personas were huge and they were in such denial. This doesn't mean Christians can't be truly forgiving and not believe in sin, just that many don't get that far. This is the lower level of expressing Christ's truth and is an attempt to express it within the context of the ego being real, so is really a major "level confusion". Christians can become Christ if they can let go of a belief in real sin and the entire package of evil/hell/sickness/death/vengeful God that accompanies it.
Every person is an equal member of the Sonship, meaning that everyone is your brother or sister. Everyone exists on an equal playing field, and the one "parent" is God.
This means that whether you are a parent or a child, and no matter the nature of the relationship between the two, everyone involved is still a brother or sister in the Sonship.
In order for this to express itself fully, it means that all relationships must end up where everyone is equal, no-one has power over anyone else, no-one is anyone else's property, no-one is controlling towards anyone else, no-one blames anyone else, no-one depends on anyone else, no-one expects anyone else to provide for them or decide for them, and no-one is more or less than anyone else.
This is the natural order of the family of God. We are all equals and all have the same inheritance. We all have the same parent and we're all identical in our true nature.
Typical chlidhood and parenting tends to lean much more towards inequality, control, protection, dependence, blame, manipulation and ownership. Those are not modes of relationship that are natural, and are rooted in the ego thought system.
When a child is born and begins to grow, they see themselves as completely dependent on the external world and on parents to supply their every need. And indeed the ego has set up this world so that it's practically impossible for a child to exist independently without starving to death. They have apparent "needs" and need help to survive. This doesn't mean the parents need necessarily own or control or be attached to them, but that's usually what happens.
Later, the child still believes they are dependent on the parent and that it is the parent's fault that so many things are the way they are. They will blame the parent, seeing them as causal, while at the same time attempting to break away from being under their thumb. "The thumb" is usually maintained far too long because the parents tend to form an identity around their role and don't want to let it go. They want to keep having the same relationship of parent to child, ie based in ownership, protection, control and so on. This generally works against the child becoming "independent" and an equal.
Often the case is that the child never really becomes an equal to the parent and there is a constant umbrella of control, dominance, shame and guilt under which the child remains, never breaking through to the light. The parent may not want to let go of the identity they've formed and it can be extremely painful to do so, especially if the raising of children has been the intense focus of their lives for many years and has entailed a great degree of self-sacrifice, leaving a gaping hole in their lives if the role were to end.
The child also will continue to blame the parents well into adulthood, because this is all part of the child's perception that they are a victim at the effect of the external world. They cannot really be independent until they have severed ties with their own ego identity, which means uncovering the true nature of themselves, healing all past hurts resulting from the dysfunctional relationships, and becoming aware of their true relationship to God.
It is, however, possible for the child to eventually stop projecting onto the parent and for the parent to stop projecting onto the child, and for both to give up on "specialness" which has kept the relationship strangled and suffocated in layers of denial and resistance and judgement. Special relationships can turn to holy relationship when forgiveness is used to undo the illusions of the relationship, which are many.
At some point it's possible for the child to become equal with the parent, which must also entail the recognition that the parent is a "temporary guide" who was there to help with lessons and adaptation to being in the world, but who ultimately is an equal brother/sister. Both child and parent are children of God, on exactly the same footing and terms. If the relationship between them can reflect holiness and forgiveness and equality then it has "matured" all the way that it can. If this doesn't happen, the fictional roles and dynamics of parent-child domination and submission will continue, and there will be further tension and conflict.
Acknowledging our equality in the Sonship requires acknowledging that God is the Creator/Father/Mother, and that what applies to oneself applies to all other people including our parents and children. When we go before God, we all go together and our relationship to God is direct, one to one for each of us, with no go-between.
We must learn to undo all of the illusions of the typical parent-child relationship, the entire social structure based on it, and learn that we are all equal under God. This could eventually result in a radically different kind of society, if this were understood and practiced on a mass scale. It need not be that children are property or that they are forced incessantly against their will to comply and obey, rather than being empowered and set free. It need not be that only two people are burdened with the entire upbringing of the children. We are all in this together.
I’ve been learning about this and I think I’ve got a handle on it now.
1. Your ego made this world. ie, this physical world is "the world you made." You made it with your dreaming, and your making of it was based on TOTAL opposition to God, as the picture of the crucifixion of His son, as an attack on God. In effect, you made hell, which is equated with the lowest state of false perception. "The world is false perception". Without the Holy Spirit, this world would’ve stayed in darkness as "hell".
2. The Holy Spirit also co-made the world with you, because God (who could not join you in your insanity), still put His sanity in your mind. Holy Spirit "made" an alternative interpretation of the world, based on an alternative way of perceiving. This way of perceiving is based on forgivenss and love and is "true perception". Jesus says that Holy Spirit’s perception can be considered "an alternative dream".
"There is another Maker of the world, the simultaneous Corrector of the mad belief."
"The ego made the world as IT perceives it, but the Holy Spirit, the RE-INTERPRETER of what the ego made, sees it only as a teaching device for bringing you home."
So there’s two makers in your mind. "Heaven and Earth are both in your mind." Depending on which one you perceive WITH, or how you choose to perceive, and thus project, determines what kind of a world you experience or whether it strikes you as justifying attack or justifying forgiveness.
"Corrected error IS the error's end. And thus has God protected still His Son, even in error. There IS another purpose in the world that error made, BECAUSE it has another Maker Who CAN reconcile its goal with His Creator's purpose."
"In His perception of the world, nothing is seen but justifies forgiveness and the sight of perfect sinlessness. Nothing arises but is met with instant and complete forgiveness."
You didn’t make or come into the world of hell alone. You dreamed of Hell, but Holy Spirit kept an awareness of Heaven - where you came from BEFORE you made the world - in your mind.
"Everyone here has entered darkness, yet no-one has entered it alone. Nor need he stay more than an instant. For he has come with Heaven's Help within him, ready to lead him OUT of darkness into light at ANY time. "
Also this ties in with sin. Sin is the idea of irreversible real attack which has produced unforgivable consequences. Sin is therefore equated with false perception, and with the world as YOU made it, not the forgiven world that Holy Spirit made.
"Sin is the fixed belief perception CANNOT change. What has been damned IS damned and damned forever, BEING FOREVER UNFORGIVABLE"
"The Son of God could NEVER sin, but he CAN wish for what would hurt him. And he HAS the power to think he CAN BE hurt. What could this be EXCEPT a misperception of himself? Is this a sin or a mistake; forgivable or not? Does he need help or condemnation? Is it YOUR purpose that he be saved or damned?"
So this clearly gives us this simple structure:
WORLD #1: The world Holy Spirit made: true perception, forgiveness, innocence, happiness, love, healing, the forgiven world aka "the real world".
WORLD #2: The world YOU made: false perception, unforgiveness, justified attack, sin and guilt and fear, pain and suffering, hell and nightmares, aka the "unforgiven world" or "unreal world." I can’t even begin to imagine how horrifying the extreme of such a hellish world would be, but gladly we’re not experiencing it "at it worst."
So when e.g. ACIM says "the world you made, it actually is specifically talking about the deeply negative self-attacking vengeful world - the physical universe - with all its cruelty anad suffering and competition and separation. You made it with your projecting (denial) which produced false perception.
Your task then is to move toward the Holy Spirit’s way of perceiving, so that you see the world HE made, or "in the way that He looks at the world you made. His interpretation of the world you made (hell) can view it in a heavenly way. As a teaching device to bring us home. That must mean learning to see this world not with false perception, but with the truth.
And because it is an illusory world, the truth reveals a recognition that it is "forgiven, yet false". And it ultimately disappears once perception’s purpose is over. True perception must recognize that the world you made IS FALSE, because it was made AS false perception, WITH the idea of opposing God, and it is made FROM the separation idea. Failure to recognize it as false is whats give it seeming reality. Recognizing it as false is what helps you to see the truth about it, which is that IT IS NOT REAL - there is no world.
Personally I am still not *quite* clear as to whether Holy Spirit merely look at the world you made in a different way, or whether he literally has made "another dream" or "another world" entirely, in form. More to explore. Perception is tricky to understand.
Yesterday was quite a breakthrough. After making a video about immortality and writing a long post about how fear is self attack, Holy Spirit invited me to "practice" the ideas during a visit to a doctor. Usually at these visits (for another person) I pick up all kinds of anxiety and have reactions and fear thoughts.
So what I did was, remembered that every single fearful thought is in fact my attempt to attack myself, and attack others. Every fear thought is actually me trying to undermine my immortality. Every fearful idea or response, whether it's mine or not, is an attempt to get rid of, push away, attack, myself and others.
So as I sat there, and as fear thoughts started popping in, I instantly saw.... hey, that's me attacking myself. That's me trying to attack. And it completely diffused the thought in a split-second, made it disappear, and didn't allow it to "progress" or linger. I felt empowered because I realized that I was doing all of this fearing TO MYSELF, and I did not have to do that. It turned out to be the calmest, easiest, most relaxed visit ever. Total success.
Because you see, while I think that fear is "just fear" and it's justified or caused by external things, I'm not really being aware of what's happening. If I reframe it that fear is actually an attempt to attack (e.g. my attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability, and fear is an attack thought), then I'm much more compelled to not do that.
I mean, if you realize that fear is actually you attacking, yourself and others, and you don't want to attack yourself or others, perhaps even because you would feel guilty about doing so, and if you realize that your fearing is you attacking, then you become motivated in quite a different way. It's now about not wanting to be a murderous asshole towards yourself and others, instead of it seeming to be about you being just some victim that is entirely affected by others doing stuff to YOU, and not the other way around. When you are afraid, YOU are the one doing the attacking!
So it's a complete reversal of cause and effect. It acknowledges that fear is coming OUT of you, towards the situation, towards other people, and NOT that the fear is being caused from the outside in. And that really is the secret of salvation. Because it then suddenly becomes starkly obvious that you are doing the fear to yourself. You are literally attacking your invulnerability with your fearful thought. You are trying to undermine, weaken, overthrow, get rid of, diminish or destroy your immortality. And you don't want to do that.
The reframing of fear as "attack coming from me" is very very useful as a tool. Because it has truth in it. Fear actually IS coming from you. It IS your attempt to separate. It's your attempt to push things away (which is attack/murder). It's your attempt to stop things (which is attack/murder). It's your attempt to 'kill off' the thing that you perceive as a threat.
All of the sense you have that you are "afraid of" something and "want it to go away" or "want it to stop", if you look at it, is really you trying to destroy it. You want to get rid of it. That's murderous thinking. You want it to end. That's an attempt to end life. Resistance isn't passive, or a defense, it's an attack. And similarly, "if I defend myself I am attacked". Fear seems like a defense, a protective mechanism. It's not, it's totally a weapon.
And in fact you will hear stories from some people as to how 'fearing' caused someone else to suffer. How being anxious and doubtful and uncertain and concerned and worrying about someone, actually sends nasty psychic attack vibes to them. These kind of thoughts are actually attacks. They're attempts to picture someone as weak and suffering and vulnerable and threatened. It's a belief that there's something wrong with them, they're sinful, they're capable of being hurt, and this "fake concern" is entirely an ego thing. A weapon of attack disguised as "caring".
The opposite of being concerned about someone and telling them "be careful you don't...." or "try not to"... etc... is to EMPOWER them, to support their integrity and strength, to affirm why they are confident and fearless and will prevail. To focus on their strength, not their potential weakness. That's empowering, and it's totally the opposite of what can pass for "caring" in the form of worries and fears and "concerns". Concern is fear, full stop. Concern is seriousness. Seriousness is attack. And fear is an attempt NOT to acknowledge someone's immortality, but to deny it and make the person weak.
It's very eye opening. The way I felt lighter, brighter, stronger, fearless, and more tranquil after nipping all these self-attack fear thoughts in the bud, was a reward in itself. Definitely something to keep applying. I had like 10 fear-driven attack thoughts before breakfast this morning. I had to re-frame every one of them as attempts to attack myself, and to stop doing so. I had no idea just how many of my thoughts are attack thoughts. It seems that almost all of them are driven by fear. And every one of them is my attempt to prove I am not immortal.