Because you believe you are already fully in your right mind, and are totally awake, and fully objective, and sane, you believe also that everyone is like this too. You think that everyone is going around acting with full awareness and complete freedom. You think everything they do must be a completely conscious choice and very well thought out and thoroughly justified. Because of this, you also believe that if they were to do anything 'to you', they MUST have done so on purpose. They must've deliberately chosen to upset you. And they must've done so with a completely rational, calm, mind. Even from a loving mind.

So each time this happens you actually believe that love itself has turned around and decided to hate on you and attack you. You think love, as a state of complete sanity, has decided to thwart your happiness and destroy your life. Only on these grounds do you then feel JUSTIFIED in perceiving yourself as unfairly treated, because IF this were true, you would indeed be justified in being upset about it. Your anger would be justified because love would have 'actually' attacked you.

But it hasn't. Nobody has ever attacked from love. Nobody has ever hurt you with full sanity and awareness. Nobody has ever decided to upset you 'just because'.

So, within you, where you have these reactive feelings of despair, dismay, rejection, blame, anger, hurt, rage, etc... which are all based on this idea that you were intentionally attacked by love, you need to go in and heal all of that, because it's based on YOUR misperception.

Everything is forgivable because nothing bad can happen in reality. Love cannot attack. Sane minds cannot harm. Nobody in their right mind would ever think to not love you completely, and all the time. Anyone in their right mind would WANT to love you fully, all the time, because you are lovable.

Whatever you see in something, if you think it is inherently offensive, it is not. The offensiveness is in your own mind, and you put it there.

That can be hard to accept because it means that you've been used to this idea of an objective reality outside of yourself all this time. A reality which has its own inherent qualities and which reports them to you as though they are distinct from your perception.

What it implies now is that what you're experiencing as reality, is in fact a hallucination that's part of your own mind's malfunctioning, that you literally are inventing everything that bothers you, that you are doing all that to yourself.

This implies also that there is no fixed reality out in the world, and therefore there is no inherent truth based on form. You literally give everything the meaning that it has for you.

ACIM lesson #2, right at the start: "I have given everything I see…all the meaning that it has for me."

This means that you are basically inventing every single justification that you think is truth, or that you think is based on objective facts outside of you. It means that, if you want to, and when it suits you, you MAKE UP everything that you think is true.

If you are in favor of something, you will make up reasons why it is a good idea, to support it and lend weight to your conviction that it is somehow inherently right. And if you are against something, you will make up reasons why it is a bad idea, in order to continue to support your belief that the reality outside of you is fixed and has nothing to do with your experience of it.

It can be perhaps alarming to discover that you are literally making everything up as you go along, and that all the things you thought were factual or true are really just your rationalizations. You decide what stuff means. You lend it credibility and pretend that this credibility comes from outside of you.

You think that other people's opinions, authority, certifications, education, experience, or even physical evidence, are all ways in which the world has an inherent truth. You have come to depend on this notion that you are not experiencing the results of your own made up subjective fantasy, but that everything that's going on is happening "on its own" without your input. And because you do not see the ways that you contribute to it or indeed create it, you do not accept that IT HAS NO TRUTH.

This leaves you in a kind of limbo like state where you're kind of just hanging there with no sense of what the truth outside you is anymore. If you're making up all the meaning, and quite literally the entirety of humanity is totally making up the meaning of everything in society as it goes along, then really there IS no inherent meaning outside of your mind.

This means the world is basically either neutral or insane, and that, based on the ego, it CANNOT make sense. There cannot be truth to it, and since it is a mental hallucination, it is nothing better than a chaotic illusion. Trying to "understand it" is an attempt to discover that it has an inherent meaning of its own, separate from your mind. We are very addicted and conditioned to continually look for meaning outside of ourselves, in the world, in order to disown true meaning (God/Self).

This is what happens when you try to figure things out, diagnose sickness, analyze situations, look for what is really happening, try to find proof, explain the background of something, try to identify causes, look for rational explanations or depend on the opinions of other people's authority. This is you attempting to turn an illusion into a reality, trying to convince yourself that you are NOT the one who has given it all the meaning it has, or that it is not just some blank canvas onto which you've projected an entirely fantastical world.

What this means for your mind and your sense of reality is that you cannot continue to claim that there is an objective world out there, and nor does that world have its own meaning at all. It is in fact a meaningless world, and this meaningless world cannot be understood unless you transcend it.

ACIM lessons 10 through 14:

"10 My thoughts do not mean anything."

"11 My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world."

"12 I am upset because I see a meaningless world.

"13 A meaningless world engenders fear."

"14 God did not create a meaningless world."

If the world is meaningless, and God did not create it (thus it is not objective reality), then this shows you that every meaning you see in it is made up but your thoughts, which are themselves meaningless and contain "pretend meanings". These pretend meanings attempt to give meaning to a world which has none.

What you may be afraid to admit is that it is not possible to find truth in any way shape or form in the world, because the world is not real. And that means your mind, your sense of reality, has been believing that it's had nothing to do with what you perceive all this time. When in fact it is the sole inventor of all the meanings that you think the world has.

Everything supposedly "out there" is neutral and therefore if you think something is good or bad or right or wrong or acceptable or unacceptable it is ONLY because you're making up a truth which you try to turn into reality and try to justify to yourself as being objective. It is not. It is subjective hallucination. So if there's no truth out there, it leaves you sort of hanging as to how to deal with reality.

It is as though you create your own reality, which is a popular new-age concept, which also leads on to manipulating the world. But this really is denying the fact that you do not create reality. You are creating UNREALITY. But it's a step closer to realizing that what you are experiencing is coming from you, and therefore what you perceive is not necessarily objectively real.

You're dreaming, and only God creates reality!

This is why in your awakening journey you then have to go through the process of recognizing the part that your mind plays in inventing meaning, how it distorts perception, how you contribute to what shows up outside of you, how you use it, how completely subjective you're being, and how everything that you thought was objectively real is in fact not real at all.

As you do this you will gradually realize more and more that there IS an objective reality, it's just not "out there" as a physical world, and instead it is within, in your Oneness with God. Formless, timeless, spaceless, ageless. The ONE and only meaning. A meaning that has not been fragmented into a billion conflicts. A meaning which hasn't been artificially attributed to an illusion. A meaning which ACTUALLY IS MEANINGFUL to you - that you can feel in your heart, in your very being.

God is true meaning. God is the one and only meaning. All else is meaningless.

Beware the ego. You bring it with you into the Course, and it will do everything it can to delude you, confuse you, distract you, blind you, and make you use the Course as a weapon.

One of the main ways that it does this is by engaging the intellect. Whatever you are experiencing right now, that is your most real-seeming experience and represents your current truth/beliefs. In order to really change that experience you have to undo some ego, which will shift you to experiencing something else.

The ego doesn't like that. The ego wants to keep the ego and increase itself. A major way it does this is through shifting into concepts. In essence, attempting to take on board "truth" which is too far outside the envelope of what you actually are experiencing, it shifts awareness into the intellect. You can "conceive" of the thing being talked about, but you cannot experience it.

The intellect is the ego's attempt to bridge the gap between where you are most authentically at, and where it pretends it wants to be. It is a tool for dissection and analysis and trying to find answers in illusions. It's a mechanism for judging, it experiences reactions, and tries to make realities. It's part of the dreaming mind.

What happens unfortunately is that the intellect becomes strongly engaged by studying the Course. There are so many concepts, theories and ideas in the Course. There are so many quotes which say or thing or another. A student will amass an internal library of all these things, and then the ego will use them as weapons and justifications.

What happens is, because the intellect takes you away from the present experience and into fantasy, the intellect becomes a way for the ego to avoid the present. The intellect loves to be a quotation machine, it loves to get hung up on the form of words, it loves to fixate on what is specifically in or not in the course, and it loves to be the ultimate judge or the authority or thing which figures out and decides what is true or not.

What I've seen is, some Course students become so lost in the form of the Course's words, the theology, the quotes, the concepts, that their intellect goes into overdrive. When you try to hold a normal conversation with these people, there is practically nothing you can say which won't be picked apart. You can't speak to these people with normal words because if there is any overlap with course words or if the course seems to have a redefinition of a term, they will see the use of the word as an error.

What then happens is they will have a reaction to a perceived error, will use the course to back up "why" its an error, and then the conversation will shift away from presence and into the course concepts where they'll assert all the reasons/quotes as to why what you said was wrong. You don't even really know what it was you said, being normal, that was so erroneous, and then you end up being bombarded with all this "correction" that you didn't even need.

Another favorite ego tool is to jump around in the levels. This is a classic move. Basically you're talking about something within a given context. Maybe you're discussing the ego or the world or something. You say something. Their ego intellect kicks in and sees a opportunity to be right, or basically pulls up a quote or course concept which they believe has truth to it, and they then use it as a weapon. They'll jump out of the `level` or context you're discussing on, and jump into some super-high conceptual level of the course. This "trumps" whatever you said, and seems to render you in error, or less true, and therefore you're wrong.

For example, you could be talking about forgiveness or how to apply it to something, and you say something, they get triggered, and then they suddenly come out with something like "that doesn't exist" or "nothing happened" or something... something at a higher level, which basically ultimately is true, BUT, it's being used as a way to discredit and overly dismiss whatever you said that wasn't even a point of contention. The person positions themselves with weapons of truth, concepts, in order to have the best most high trump-cards possible, so that no matter what you try to discuss with them, they will constantly undermine you. There is no way to hold a normal conversation with such people.

I think we all do this to some extent. But Course students especially are prone to this. It is so easy to get hung up on what the Course said on some matter and to then use it as a way to be subtly right, to use it against other people, to make people wrong etc.

I recently was in a group of people discussing ACIM stuff. I was shocked. I couldn't believe how much of this intellectual prostrating was going on. It seemed practically impossible to say anything without some person jumping all over it and pulling it apart, with a sort of "I've got a better truth" attitude. Even saying things which were absolutely nothing to do with the course whatsoever, which suddenly were turned around and explained to be false or in error because of something it contained. It turns into an addiction to correcting people.

The intellect can be used by the ego to really firmly latch onto the concepts as though they are the truth. They are held onto like precious jewels. And then they are used as weapons. The concepts are not the truth itself. Truth is an experience. Getting lost in debating the Course is very easy to do. It's possible to amass a considerable body of conviction about what the Course is saying or meaning and to then be so rigid and fixed in that that you can no longer talk to people normally or allow them their mistakes.

One person I was talking to was so distracted by intellectual positions that it was almost like talking to no-one. I would say one thing, they would do an instant bypass, find some other quotation or concept to go against it, and throw it back at me. I also wrote a few posts which were clear and obviously correct. But what happens is, people will then read it, sort of quietly refuse it, find one word you said which was slightly "not pure course-correct lingo", and then go in a diatribe about how you were wrong, completely glossing over and ignoring what you actually said or whether it was true.

This is what the ego does. It creates diversions. Distractions. Cover-ups. It makes noise about something, anything, other than what is immediately present. It pulls you away from the here and now. It takes you out of conversations and into wars. It uses its prowess to launch counter-attacks to perceived attacks, which it itself put out there with its mis-perceptions and judgements, and then reacted to.

You have to beware of the ego doing this. It will try to use the Course to point out the ways that people are wrong and then react to this perception by trying to correct them, when in fact it is your own mind which is at fault. It's just another way the ego projects responsibility and blame.

In order to perform a miracle, your mind has to be in a state of love, because miracles are expressions FROM love. Miracle mindedness is a state of love, and when you express from that state your expressions have power, capable of healing others. Love is strong and "there is nothing my holiness cannot do." Being miracle minded is the same thing as being right minded, which is equated with true perception. It's quite an "advanced state".

It's not enough to be slightly loving. It's also not enough to just be caring for someone or feeling enamored. Love has to be felt deeply and strongly. I have to admit that I spend almost all of my time not in this state. I can at times push myself to receive love and experience it, but typically there is too much fear and blocks to awareness. It's not possible to perform miracles in these states, and people who are working on purifying their minds are not miracle workers. "Miracles are everyone's right (in a state of love), but purification (to get to that state) is NECESSARY first."

I've had a few times where, for whatever reason, I've felt especially filled with love. In those moments I also feel strangely powerful and miraculous, as if the love itself is capable of doing anything. Without love, miracles are impossible. Love is literally an absolutely required ingredient for miracle working. It's through being intensely loving and EXPRESSING from that place of strength, that you can literally perform miracles. You can heal the sick and raise the dead.

I used to think miracle working entailed far more complexity, saying the right words, having the ego be more aggressive, being adamant, being commanding etc, but without love nothing happens. Holy Spirit became very excited one time when I was sending love to someone and He said "that's all you need!". It seems too simple but it's not. Real love has a POWER in it. It's a supernatural power. It can cause really extraordinary things to happen. A mind in a state of love is very strong.

The challenge then, is getting yourself into a state where you are loving enough. It's not merely an intellectual state. Strong love must be present and being felt. Often it is quite difficult to get into that state, to really really love, because of all the blocks and fears that we have. It might even be quite an alien state seemingly so far out of reach that we just can't seem to be loving enough. It requires a suspension of fear, which is love's absence, for long enough to be able to perform the miracle. Jesus even says that you might well go back to being afraid afterwards, but so long as you can get yourself into a loving state, you can work miracles.

Miracle DOING is an active expression, an act, FROM a state of love. Miracle mindedness is the readiness to express love, by being in a state of love. Love is wholeness. The perceptual content of miracles is wholeness. Perception has to be whole, purified, and true, in order to be loving enough to be miraculous. It's really so simple... all you need is love and you instantly are capable of performing incredible miracles, but getting yourself into such a holy state is all of the "work" of purification, learning to forgive, healing and letting go of past hurts and all the rest of it. All of the workbook lessons, which aimed toward developing Christ Vision, are trying to get your mind to be loving enough that it is miraculous.

Miracles EXPRESS only from love and love is powerful.

"The distinction has also been made here between "miracle-mindedness" as a STATE, and "miracle-doing" as its expression."

"The love of God, for a little while, must still be expressed through one body to another."

"The value of the Atonement does not lie in the manner in which it is expressed. In fact, if it is truly used it will inevitably BE expressed in whatever way is most helpful to the receiver, not the giver. This means that a miracle, to attain its full efficacy, MUST be expressed in a language which the recipient can understand without fear. It does not follow by any means that this is the highest level of communication of which he is capable. But it DOES mean that it is the highest level of communication of which he is capable NOW."

"Miracles ... They occur naturally as an expression of love."

"ALL expressions of love are maximal."

"Miracles are a kind of exchange. Like all expressions of love"

"Prayer is the medium of miracles. Prayer is the natural communication of the Created with the Creator. Through prayer, love is received, and through miracles love is expressed."

"Miracles are natural expressions of total forgiveness. Through miracles, man accepts God's forgiveness by extending it to others. "

"The power to work Miracles BELONGS to you. I will create the right opportunities for you to do them. But you must be ready and willing to do them, since you are already able to. Doing them will bring conviction in the ability. I repeat that you will see Miracles through your hands through MINE. Conviction really comes through accomplishment. Remember that ability is the potential, Achievement is its expression, and Atonement is the Purpose."

"Expressed through you, the Holy Spirit will accept this gift which you received of Him, increase its power and give it back to you."

"We have emphasized that the miracle, or the EXPRESSION of Atonement, is always a sign of real respect from the worthy TO the worthy."

"The miracle is an expression of an inner awareness of Christ and acceptance of his Atonement. "

"Be confident that you have never lost your identity and the extension which maintains it in wholeness and peace. Miracles are AN EXPRESSION OF THIS CONFIDENCE. They are reflections both of your own proper identification WITH your brothers, and of your own awareness that YOUR identification IS maintained by extension. The miracle is A LESSON IN TOTAL PERCEPTION. By including ANY part of totality in the lesson, you HAVE included the whole."

"The answer is NEVER perform a miracle without asking me IF you should. This spares you from exhaustion, and because you act under direct communication the trance becomes unnecessary. Because miracles are expressions of love, it does NOT follow that they will always be effective. I am the only one who can perform miracles indiscriminately, because I AM the Atonement. You have a ROLE in Atonement, which I will dictate TO you."

"Those who witness for me are expressing, through their miracles, that they have abandoned deprivation in favor of the abundance they have learned BELONGS to them."

"We once said that there is no order in miracles because they are all maximal expressions of love."

"Help and healing are the normal expressions of a mind which is working THROUGH the body but not in it."

"I KNOW that miracles are natural, because they are expressions of love."

Here is our conundrum.

"1.) Know first this is fear.

2.) Fear arises from lack of love.

3.) The ONLY remedy for lack of love is perfect love.

4.) Perfect love IS the Atonement."

So Jesus says, we need perfect love as a REMEDY to solve our fear, because perfect love is fears opposite and a total lack of fear.

However, if you are in a state of fear, you are not accessing perfect love. The perfect love is there, but you are denying it.

IF you are denying perfect love and avoiding it, how are you supposed to get access to it in order to give yourself the remedy?

The very thing that you need to solve your problem, seems to be the very thing you do not have. And once you get that thing, you no longer have the problem because it has solved it.

But this will require some kind of "leap" from fear to perfect love.

It is then quite difficult when you're in a state of fear or lack of love (sin, guilt) to get out of that and heal the mind. The thing that heals the mind and restores its perfect order and quality and characteristics is perfect love.

Don't think that you have the slightest idea of what a mind is or what its condition must be or how to correct it to its proper function. You haven't got the slightest clue how to do that. That's God's job.

So how do you get some perfect love when perfect love is the very thing you are refusing to have and want nothing to do with, in a state of sin guilt and fear?

It's a bit like hindsight as well. Something seemed difficult at the time and then later on you solved the problem and if only you would have known the solution at the time of the problem you would've easily solved it, but instead you struggled.

How do you avoid a lifetime of struggle and difficulty trying to get yourself out of fear, and how do you get in touch with that perfect love "atonement remedy" that would solve your fear?

Apparently this has something to do with having a little willingness. Somehow you have to be willing to get your mind at least a bit closer to the love, to let some love and light in. To let some truth in. To trust a little to let the Holy Spirit help you.

You perhaps might not be able to do this to the greatest extent, and maybe you're only willing to let in a little bit of healing. And maybe it will take lifetimes to go all the way.

But Jesus does suggest that you could suspend fear temporarily if you are willing, to reach out and get in touch with perfect love, and this would allow you to perform a miracle. Even if it meant that you would return to most of the fear afterwards.

Jesus also talks of miracle working as an ability which should be practiced, and that doing them will bring conviction in your ability to do them. To perform a miracle you HAVE to be in a state of perfect love, because they cannot be performed from fear. And that means you have to do a "sudden vertical shift" into perfect love, temporarily, in order to express from love.

That clearly suggests that you would remain in a state of "not believing" but would occasionally break out into a more loving mindset and then return to fear again after - perhaps bringing back at least a little healing with you.

The fact is that perfect love is the state you want to be in all the time, but to do that is going to take what the course calls a lot of "purification" which is necessary first before you can be consistently miraculous.

The question then is, what is the distance between you as a fearful self, and you as a loving self, and what is maintaining that distance? Is it obstacles to peace, the fear of God, the belief in the body, and worshipping of death? Is it guilt and shame and a sense of unworthiness of being lovable? Is it denial and resistance and fear? Is it blocks to awareness and unwillingness?

You'll find that no amount of theoretical study will be able to implement the love, nor is it your job to put the love in place. God has already put the love in place and has already given you the remedy. The healing is offered to you already. The only issue is your unwillingness to receive it and let it in.

So then the whole work has to be more to do with becoming willing to let yourself be loved and receive that love, which will entail undoing anything that is unloving toward yourself from yourself. Any way that you to do not love yourself unconditionally and with God's love has to be uprooted and questioned.

It's not the uprooting or the questioning that heals the mind. It's the love that comes in once the blocks are out of the way. ONLY love can produce the state of mind and wholeness that you seek. Just as seeing from that love is the only way to see correctly with Christ Vision. Just as being identified with the love is the only true identity in Christ.

If you could just jump to the end and go into the perfect love state immediately all your problems would be solved. But that's seemingly hard to do. That's why you need an entire course to talk you around. That's why you need the Holy Spirit's help. If you were really willing to just wake up at the snap of your fingers you would've done so.

So we're in a stange position where the very remedy we need - the love - is out of reach, and yet it's the love itself that is the cure for our situation. We need what we are resisting. We need God and yet we don't want God. So something has to change.

The miracle is a learning device which lessens the need for time. The sudden shift from horizontal to vertical perception which the miracle entails introduces an interval from which the doer and the receiver both emerge much farther along in time than they would otherwise have been.

Attempting to take your self closer to the truth in any way, will be met with ego resistance.

The ego itself is nothing, just a "way of looking" which is the opposite to seeing the truth. It distorts everything and makes everything seem the opposite to what it is. It inverts reality. It changes God into death/evil/murderous. It sees Holy Spirit as an enemy. It sees the truth as a threat. And it does not want anything to do with this idea of "waking up and not having an ego."

The ego by itself doesn’t do anything. The problem is that YOU have taken it on AS IF it is your own Self. You regard IT as the same thing as your identity.

What that does is it causes you to perceive WITH it, through it’s eyes. You then will see things the way the ego sees them.

So if you are "tied to" an ego identity which wants absolutely nothing to do with truth, cannot exist in the truth, and sees the truth as proof that it does not exist, then "YOU" will become very threatened by approaching the truth.

If for example the truth says, there is no sin, and the ego believe that sin is real and true, and therefore sin is your *identity*, to your sense of self this will SEEM to say "I do not exist."

Regardless of the fact that you may have sided with an insane ego, you do not RECOGNIZE it is insane. You think it makes perfect sense. It seems logical, sensible, rational. You will also want to defend it as though to do so is defending "your" life, because you think it is you. Therefore it makes sense to you to AVOID the truth at all costs.

The ego sees the truth as attack, vengeance, evil, warring, deadly, hateful, loss, non-existence, etc. If you identify with the ego, you will also see the truth as meaning this.

So then, you will attempt to reach out to the truth, to become closer to God, to go into the light, but because part of you is STILL holding onto the ego and is using it to perceive, that part of you seeing with the ego will think you’re trying to kill yourself.

No-one in their "right mind" would go against what seems sensible and true, and expose themselves to what must be the END of themselves. The truth is the end of the ego, and if you believe it, it means it’s the end of your self. Approaching the truth WITH the ego, pulling it along with you, is nothing short of you SCARING THE CRAP out of yourself by exposing yourself to your worst enemy, complete with no defenses.

This is the sole cause of all ego rebounds and resistance - the mis-perception that welcoming the truth is welcoming your own death. No-one wants to do this. IT seems sensible to protect yourself and defend yourself against this. In spite of your best efforts to "become more spiritual" by opening up to the light of truth, or to love, the rest of you - still perceiving the opposite to the truth, will fear out when you try to do it.

What can even happen is your ego self will create DEFENSES AGAINST THE TRUTH, which it thinks are *needed* in order to protect your "self". Or to put it another way, you who are identified with the ego, interpret the truth as your mortal enemy, and do not want it, are threatened by it and want to "naturally" defend yourself. In the name of preserving your own life, you will erect DEFENSES psychologically.

The only ego defense is *separation*, attempting to create a gap or sense of "distance" between yourself and the threat. Implementing this is an attempt to shut out the truth, by implementing a BLOCK. The purpose of this block is to block your awareness of the threat, because if you are not aware of it, to you this is practically the same experience as though it does not exist. You use DENIAL to hide the perceived danger from yourself, so you can enter an *illusion of safety*. This illusion of safety, this block, made of guilt, shows up as SICKNESS. Sickness is a defense against the truth.

The purpose of sickness then is to defend you against what you think is going to hurt you. But to implement it, you actually HURT YOURSELF. It should be obvious why this is insane. Perceiving your best interests through the filter of the ego is insane, because it shows you the *opposite* of what will actually help you. What would really help you, and what is the UNDOING of sickness, is to correctly perceive WITHOUT the ego, that the truth is NOT a threat or hurtful, is FOR you not against you, is welcome, you want it, and it does NOT mean you will not exist.

When you can perceive correctly that you are not being threatened by the truth, you will UNDO the NEED for the defense, and this will make the sickness *disappear*. Literally. All symptoms will be dropped, because you have no further need for them. Sickness is always serving the PURPOSE of being a defense to keep you safe, even though it does the opposite. Without its purpose, it will not exist because you will withdraw your belief from it.

Essentially, approaching the truth is going to make your ego-identified self threatened. It will want to defend itself and it will be horrified, offended, upset and scared of the truth. This can lead people to BECOME SICK by doing the course. It can also cause peoples lives to turn upside down, as reactions to the misinterpretation of the truth.

Gradually the way to undo this is the development of trust and coming to perceive correctly WITHOUT the ego’s interpretation. This will naturally lead to a WILLINGNESS to accept the atonement, and accept God’s truth as true. And then you will have no resistance whatsoever. It is only your beliefs to the contrary that try to defend you against the truth.

So each time you have an ego rebound, don’t belittle yourself or judge yourself as failing to do the course right. I used to think I was making big mistakes when I had rebounds, like I was guilty for having them. But I had to learn to be gentle and acknowledge what they were saying, recognizing it was a part of my SELF that was afraid and offended by the truth I was opening up to. It’s perfectly okay to take a BREAK from pushing yourself towards the truth, to let your ego settle down a bit, and integrate what you’ve learned so that you can move forward with more willingness and less fear.

The physical world we live in was deliberately designed by the ego mind to create the ILLUSION that separation is real. It is meant to, on purpose, deceive your awareness so that you believe how it APPEARS to be. Taking it to be REAL is an absolutely huge mistake.

One of the most powerful parts of this illusion is the appearance that we are SEPARATE PEOPLE, because we appear to be 'in' separate bodies. Separate bodies are a gross deception, which shows you through your 5 senses that you are isolated and cut off from so-called 'others', and that this is 'proven' by the body itself and the way it interacts with the environment.

In fact, the only purpose of the 'environment', is to create a separate SPACE of separation in between you and others, to reinforce the idea that you are not joined or connected or shared in any way.

But let's keep in mind, this world is made, on purpose, with the INTENTION of fooling you, and of fooling everyone. It very deliberately and purposefully was set up to make it look like we're all separate, nothing is shared, nobody is the same as anyone else, and that we are all housed in separate forms.

The result of this, IF you believe the illusion, is that we believe we are a limited to, confined to, and isolated within, our physical bodies, which seems to form a wall around our minds and limits our awareness.

The physical body is setup such that IF you believe the illusion, you will have a very restricted sense of awareness. Your awareness will seem to be 'stopped' at the perimeter of the body form itself, such that it seems that anything outside of the body is not something you have direct experience of. You can receive signals and sensations through the 5 senses that tell you, indirectly, what is 'out there', but generally speaking you will not be able to DIRECTLY experience it with your inner awareness. And for sure, you will not be able to experience it with a sense that it is part of YOURSELF.

This is how it was all set up. It's a tremendously powerful illusion that shows us everything that is UNTRUE, and everything that is false, in a very convincing way. And guess what.... almost everyone has fallen for it, hook line and sinker. Bigtime.

Most of us believe we are not other people. Most of us do not experience other people as ourselves. We've bought the entire lie that human beings are separate creatures. We even have laws set up about how when one person's body does something to another person's body, that person was responsible for the crime but not the person who was victimized. The entire gamut of ego illusory thoughts and perceptions are tied into perceiving this 'as real'.

And so this world is a huge trick. And if you've fallen for this trick, you will have all kinds of beliefs going on in your mind that tell you how the "ego" thought system is true. Such as that something can happen to one person and not another. Such as that someone can do something to someone else and have absolutely no effects from it. Such as that something can happen to you that you did not ask for in any way, and that therefore you are justified in being angry. Victims, victimizers, these ALL arise from the ILLUSION that we are all separate. And it is not the TRUTH.

This is why we have to learn to 'forgive', i.e. undo belief in, everything in front of our face. Because everything to do with 'form' IS a deliberate lie, a deliberate deception, a deliberate illusion, which has been put in place in a very INTENTIONAL way to bring about this deception. As Jesus says, "nothing is so blinding as sight of form". Form is the exact OPPOSITE of the truth. Yes, a conspiracy, to undermine the truth and to shut out awareness and to render everyone separate and unconscious. This is the ego's conspiracy against God, and this entire physical universe was made by it in order to COVER UP THE TRUTH.

So don't think this world is real, or that it's showing you truth, or that people are really bodies, or that we're all really separate, or that there really are victims and victimizers, or that anything is unfair, or that things happen that people don't choose,... those are ALL illusions and MISTAKES that you believe because you believe the ILLUSION that's in front of your face. The illusion that you seem to 'live in'. Its a huge trick. A massive con. It is not the truth, it is not REALITY, and it is not what God intends for His Son. As ACIM says, God could not submit His Son to a world such as this and BE loving.

This whole world and everything in it is an illusion. So we have a very big challenge in front of us, to learn NOT to believe in it, even while we're in it. To work our way out of it, back to an awareness of what the TRUTH really is. An awareness of God. An awareness of how these illusions operate and what they attempt to deceive in us. Our awareness is isolated and locked up in these little bodies imagining that this is all we are, or this is all there is. No, this is not all there is. This world is not all there is, not at all. In fact, this world is all that there is NOT, because it's not even real at all!

And if you will go as far as Jesus asks us to go with Him in the Course, in his radical truth.... "there is no world, this is the central thought the course would attempt to teach" - ACIM

Do we believe it? Can we see past the ILLUSION? Are we deceived? Have we come to believe it? Is it real? Why do we think we are separate people? Why do we think there are multiple identities in the world AND multiple identities inside what is left of your own self? It's not true. There is only ONENESS.

So welcome to the world. Welcome to the insane theater production of 'does not exist'', where nothing is as it seems, and there in no truth in it anywhere, and yet it is so deceptive and real-seeming that all who come here are caught in its web for a very long time.

It's a DREAM. But it's time to wake up.

Many ACIM folks appear to struggle between two sort of 'camps', in regards to whether to change the world or not.

There are many passages and quotable concepts in the Course which could be used to back up either viewpoint.

I think though the main reason people struggle with this is because the EGO has tremendous difficulty understanding anything outside of its backwards perspective.

For example, to the ego, control brings you freedom. It says that if you control things more, you'll be able to prevent all the things you don't want to happen, and enforce all the things you do want to happen. You'll 'get your way', and that means life will seem to be doing what you want it to do. And that is its interpretation of what freedom is.

The truth, which the ego cannot grasp or accept, is that control DIMINISHES your freedom, because it separates out some parts (of yourself ultimately) from others, sets them against each other, and elects to support only one of the two parts. Now your choices are diminished. In other words, if you choose A or B, once you've chosen, the other choice goes away, and now you are 'stuck' with the choice you made. This is freedom to the ego, but to your Real Self this is imprisonment.

So when you use the ego mind to try to understand a very basic principle like ACCEPTANCE, this I think is where the community's viewpoint hinges and stimulates controversy. It's because the ego does not understand HOW it could be possible that you can be accepting, or just working on changing how you perceive the world, and not be passive. So this is what it all pivots around.

Really these are the two conflicting attitudes of the EGO:

1) Accept everything as it is, don't try to change anything, be passive, work on your own mind, change your mind ABOUT the world, study in secret, don't tell anyone you're doing the Course, keep miracles to yourself, interpret miracles as shifts in your own perception only, and generally lay down any kind of 'interference' with the world as you go within. This is EGO because the ego has now separated you from the world, has isolated you to your body/mind with the justification of hundreds of Course quotes which SEEM to support its argument. This is EGO because the ego can't ALLOW there to be acceptance without interpreting it as SACRIFICE, i.e. the giving up of control which the ego thinks means like 'I need do nothing' i.e. I will literally stop expressing anything in the world. This is SPIRITUAL CONSTIPATION! You'll be stuck in your head and paralyzed from exerting the will and power of God. You will be disabled. The ego sees acceptance as disempowerment and disability, and this inspires all thoughts of how this kind of 'attitude' is the correct way to do the Course.

2) The second ego interpretation is that you aren't meant to just dwell on fixing your view of the world, but you're meant to change the world. Except that, to the ego, this means, using the ego to change the world. This turns into control. It turns into spiritualization of the world. It becomes the ego's party where all egos are invited to 'act spiritual' or to pursue special causes or use your ACIM learning to 'attack' what is. The EGO can't understand whatsoever how it could be possible to express something in the world and have it be ACCEPTING of the world at the same time. It does not get this. So if you were to express or exert or change the world, this is now considered 'unacceptable' to the Course theology, and therefore rejected by many students. And yet those who accept this idea then go on to shy away from some of the seemingly contradictory statements about acceptance or doing God's will or changing your mind and so on. This again is another ego play to flip your mind around a polarity of DUALITY, so that you stay within the ego thought system, and keep interpreting the course WITH the ego.

Neither of these camps have the truth.

Truth is of the Holy Spirit and his mind functions in a completely different way with rules that apply to all and which has no duality in it. The Holy Spirit has a completely different understanding of ACCEPTANCE. He has a completely different grasp of whether you are 'for or against' doing stuff in the world, knowing that this is a dualistic question. Holy Spirit would not see your 'accepting things as they are' attitude as being SEPARATE from 'being empowered to do God's will and heal the world'. And therefore, Holy Spirit supports BOTH camps combined, which completely defies the ego's logic.

It is possible to be accepting without that having to mean, you cut yourself off from the world or disappear into your intellectual correction of perception. It is possible to be accepting of what 'is' or what appears to be happening, while at the same time having the power and will to CHANGE IT. Because... after all, IT is just an effect of what's going on in the mind. IT is a dream that YOU are dreaming. So this has to mean, you can accept what you have made, but you can also make something different. So this division of separation in the community is really only there because the EGO has gotten ahold of the Course and DOES NOT understand the Holy Spirit's viewpoint or thought system.

As always with ANY polarizing, dualistic, separating set of questions, in which it seems that neither side seems to 'get it', this ALWAYS means that "there has to be a better way" and there always IS a third option. It's that third option that comes from Holy Spirit. Another way not just of looking at the situation, but another way of looking at HOW you look at looking at the situation.

You can accept without being controlling, and yet exercise tremendous freedom to intercede. "I [Jesus] inspire all miracles, which are really intercessions. They intercede for your holiness." - principle 32. "35 - Miracles are expressions of love, but they may not always have observable effects." - principle 35, which also means miracles USUALLY have observable effects, meaning they change the world.

There is not a contradiction here. The contradiction is in the ego mind that cannot understand this. It can't get it because the ego can only see WITH separation. It is blind to Oneness or true meaning. Any separation in the community has to be founded in the ego.

This is a pretty deep and abstract passage from lesson 167, "There is one life and that I share with God." It speaks of how immortal mind is permanently awake, it thinks of being asleep in which it dreams of a world of spacetime, everything in that dream is nothing with no consequences (there is no world) because it’s a dream of NOT existing and NOTHING happening, and then it simply awakens, the dream world disappears, and it resumes creation with God. You have to read it slowly to really get a feel for it. So I added some commentary...

"The mind (shared with God in heaven) can ***think*** it sleeps, but that is all (has a THOUGHT of sleeping - tiny mad idea). It cannot change what is its waking state (can’t change the truth). It cannot make a body, nor abide within a body (cannot make a REAL body). What is alien to the mind does not exist because it has no source. For mind creates all things that are (all creations in heaven), and cannot give them attributes it lacks, nor change its own eternal, mindful state. It cannot make the physical (literally impossible to REALLY create the physical). What seems to die (the illusion of the physical) is but the sign of mind asleep (mind can only imagine physicality, it cannot create it as a permanent creation, and we are currently "living" within that IDEA).

The opposite of (eternal) life can only be another ***form*** of life (a real opposite is impossible, the physical is not completely opposite, it’s still within God - safe in God, dreaming of exile). As such, it can be reconciled with what created it, because it is not opposite in truth. Its form may change; it may appear to be what it is not. Yet mind is mind (mind is still mind even if it experiences wakefulness or THINKS OF a sleeping state) awake or sleeping. It is not its opposite in anything created (mind MAKES the illusion that mind is absent, free will is used to make the illusion of imprisonment), nor in what it seems to make when it believes it sleeps (even death is a deliberately chosen idea by a *living* mind).

God creates only mind awake. He does not sleep, and His creations cannot share what He gives not, nor make conditions which He does not share with them (not possible to make an actual separation, death, body, etc) The **thought** of death is not the opposite to thoughts of life (absolute death is not possible at all, the thought of death is just an idea WITHIN the awake mind and are illusions, love has no opposite, so death is not a true opposite, it’s just a state of thought). Forever unopposed by opposites of any kind, the Thoughts of God (souls etc) remain forever changeless, with the power to extend forever changelessly but yet within Themselves, for They are everywhere.

What seems to be the opposite of life (eternal life) is merely sleeping. When the mind elects to be what it is not (e.g. trying to be a world or body), and to assume an alien power which it does not have (made-up ego laws or ability to really sin), a foreign state it cannot enter (illusions of vulnerability, sickness, suffering, death), or a false condition not within its Source (nightmares, attack, sickness etc), it merely ***seems*** to go to sleep a while. It ***dreams*** (thinks of) of time (this whole universe); an interval in which what *seems* to happen never has occurred (tiny tick of time, nothing in this world ever happened), the changes wrought are substance-less (no real consequences, no sin), and all events are nowhere (nothing ever really happens because its a thought of "nothing happening"). When the mind awakes (to the Kingdom of God, and stops dreaming up a world), it but continues as it always was (in heaven).

Let us today be children of the truth, and not deny our holy heritage. Our life is not as we imagine it. Who changes life because he shuts his eyes (failure to acknowledge reality, denial of God), or makes himself what he is not (trying to be a dead body) because he sleeps and sees in dreams (this world) an opposite to what he is? (Everything you see in this world is OPPOSITE to reality - "Earth, heaven’s opposite in every way.") We will not ask for death (this world - "without the idea of death tehre is no world") in **any form** today. Nor will we let imagined (bodies, planets) opposites to (eternal) life abide even an instant where the Thought of Life Eternal has been set by God Himself.

His holy home (heaven) we strive to keep today as He established it, and wills it be forever and forever. He is Lord of what we think today. And in His Thoughts, Which have no opposite, we understand there is one life (eternal life with God), and that we share with Him, with all creation (the Kingdom of God, not this world), with their thoughts as well, whom He created in a Unity of life (all created beings in heaven) that cannot separate in death and leave the Source of Life (God) from where it came.

We share life because we have one Source (God), a Source from Which perfection comes to us, remaining always in the ***holy minds*** which He created perfect (yes God DID create many minds!). As we were, so are we now and will forever be ("we" existing within reality). A sleeping mind must waken (individually) as it sees its own perfection mirroring the Lord of Life so perfectly it fades into what is reflected there (sees the real world, reflects holiness here). And now it is no more a mere reflection (when you go to heaven). It becomes the thing reflected, and the light which makes reflection possible. No vision now is needed (vision/perception has no purpose IN heaven/reality - "Indeed, you cannot remain in the world with this knowledge."). For the wakened mind (awake in heaven, not in a body or in this world any more, not in the dream, not having dreams, not having the thought of the world, not asleep, fully awake in God) is one that knows its Source, its Self, its Holiness."

There is a certain leap of faith required in learning to trust and work with Spirit. It's like opening up to trusting that something completely out of sight and out of control is going to be there when you need it. We are completely unaccustomed to seeing situations this way and it requires a lot of TRUST.

Since we have been relying on our own self all this time, on our ego intellect, our own abilities, our knowledge etc.... we are very used to needing to have a sense of personal confidence in a situation in order to proceed with an action.

So we'll have to make sure that we're in the right mood, we have to have all the ducks in a row, we need reassurance that this is the right thing to do, and we feel that we need to kind of talk ourselves into the right frame of mind to 'perform'. We have to ready ourselves, and we won't move ahead to take actions until we have gathered enough ego information and enough reliance on our own capabilities. And to create something of quality simply threatens us to have to perform at the top of our game, which is nerve-wracking.

But the problem with this is that it shuts out Spirit. The problem is, since we are experiencing ourselves as disconnected from Spirit, we keep having to rely on ourselves, depend on ourselves, accumulate our own skills, develop our own prowess, acquire our own knowledge, and build ourselves up to try to handle situations. But this puts all of our sense of TRUST squarely in our own ego abilities. Trusting our own ego produces FEAR which undermines any sense of reliability.

Spirit doesn't work the same way the ego works. Spirit is much more spontaneous. Spirit is also extremely capable and unlimited and doesn't suffer from the inadequacies, limitations, insecurities and difficulties that our ego self has to deal with constantly.

Spirit is actually ready to fly right now, right away, without any preparation. God is immediately on hand and ready to heal, right now. Holy Spirit is immediately on hand and ready to teach the highest of truths, right now. They don't need time to get ready. They don't have to figure out what to do. They don't need to get themselves into the right mood or to be on their best form or to have put aside as many fears as possible in order to take some decisive action.

So what this means is, if you want to work with Spirit, such as to express Holy Spirit's Voice or to teach from a higher place or to perform a healing miracle, there has to be a certain amount of 'blind faith' and a different kind of trust. This trust quite literally means that you really need to actually START taking steps to move forward and express, knowing that Spirit is going to show up immediately and be there to help you.

It actually kind of requires you to be much more spontaneous and UNPREPARED. (Who knew that being unprepared could lead to greater confidence when trusting Spirit?!) And even if you feel unprepared and uncertain and afraid and doubtful about whether YOU can pull off whatever it is that you're about to attempt - teaching, healing, writing, whatever.... even though you do not know what the heck you are going to say, even though do not know how the heck you're going to 'do this', you have to actually start doing it with faith that Holy Spirit is right with you in the MOMENT.... and that as you begin to 'flow', all of Heaven is going to rush in to support and help you.

There are people who receive healing miracles, let's say for example they have a broken arm or something. The person prays for them and healing begins, but the person still believes they don't have a healing, and the arms seems to be a problem. But then the healer tells the person, MOVE YOUR ARM. And the person moves their arm, and AS they move their arm, healing comes to the arm.

There are countless examples of this in Jesus's miracles where he tells someone to actually DO something, to do something that they supposedly currently cannot do, so that WHEN they attempt to do it, with some faith that it will BECOME possible, their willingness and openness is what actually brings the miracle into them and healing occurs, AS they ACT AS IF they are healed. For example Jesus might've commanded 'get up and walk', and a paralyzed person who could not walk, would at least ATTEMPT to get up and walk, with enough trust and faith that perhaps it COULD work, and then as they get up, suddenly they can walk. But not until they started trying to do so.

So you see, Spirit is very immediate and becomes a part of the flow as and when you are willing to actually take some action on faith. You will not be prepared. You will not be ready. You will not know how you're going to do this. You'll get to the very limits of the edges of your own ego abilities and all the information you could possibly have gathered and all the preparedness you could've possible done, and still there is another step needed. To trust Spirit, you have to take the leap. You have to ACT AS IF miraculous things can happen, ACT AS IF healing is going to flow when you say it will, ACT AS IF Spirit is going to back you, even if right now you don't feel even connected to Spirit. And Spirit will rush in and be right there to support you.

For example, I am writing a book and I have procrastinated on this for a long time because I kept feeling that I wasn't quite ready, or in the right mood, or I just wasn't prepared. I felt like I needed to get MYSELF into the best possible frame of mind, the most purified readiness, the most spiritual of mindsets etc, in order to be ABLE to pull off this writing. And I could never really rise up to the occasion. I couldn't get myself into the 'heights' of what I knew needed to be written down, and was just always riddled with insecurities and excuses and fears and worries about how was *I* going to write this and how was *I* going to be able to know what to say or to say it correctly etc. So I avoided it.

But then what broke, was that I came to a place of at least realizing it's not going to be me doing this on my own. It's not going to come FROM me, its going to come from Spirit. And I'm going to write it down, but I'm not going to know WHAT to write. I'm not going to be able to prepare for it or study for it or have everything all organized to try to get a sense of confidence about it. Instead, what its going to call for is for me to actually sit down, hands on the keyboard, and to be in that moment WITH Spirit, inviting Spirit to be the one to write, and to then just start doing it. Just GO. And that means trusting something totally outside of myself, totally beyond my own abilities, beyond my mind, beyond any personal readiness. And in that moment, in the now, in the present 'flow' of it, Spirit is right there and started talking, and I started typing, and out it came.

Surprisingly easy once it got going, but I'd avoided it so much because my mind, my ego mind, my separate mind, couldn't see past itself. It couldn't get outside of its own box or its own reliance on "I must do this all by myself". The mind needs to be handed over to Spirit. Spirit is meant to be in charge of how the mind is used. And this really does mean actually surrendering this constant reliance on independent self, on separately having 'the power' or 'the skills' to do whatever. To be Spirit-backed we have to stop being so independent and so self-reliant and trust something that we don't even seem to have any control over, a source of confidence and teaching and creation that is beyond our own self. And nothing can prepare you for that. You have to just do it and try to trust that you're going to be backed up, and you will be.

This is why development of trust is so important. Learning to trust that Spirit has got your back, that Spirit can heal, that Spirit can do miracles through you, and that Spirit can help you no matter whether you have everything under control or not. It's all about learning to be part of a TEAM, instead of going solo all the time. You don't have to do this all by yourself, and you DO NOT have to find the confidence and prowess to pull off some amazing feat of expression all on your own. It's much easier to let Spirit do the heavy lifting, if you can let go enough to take a shot in the dark. And that's what it's like often, just blindly assuming that Spirit will do its thing when you take action to begin the flow.

I'm glad to say I got a whole chapter written, once I finally stopped fearing (depending on my own strength) and trusted that I just had to 'show up' in the present moment and be ready and willing and that Spirit would do the rest. It can really be daunting to have this kind of trust, to trust in something you can't see and doesn't even seem to be there until the very moment that you're having the faith that it will show up. Something outside your control, outside your mind.

Our minds are supposed to be connected to Spirit in this way. They're not supposed to be separated off and trying to rely on themselves. We're not supposed to be bolstered up, or turned into 'models of success', or superheroes. We're not meant to be thoroughly educated and learned. We're not meant to develop this extraordinary prowess at doing something amazing all by ourselves. This is not how the mind is meant to operate in isolation. It's meant to be connected to and a RECEIVER of a flow of spiritual power from Spirit. It's meant to be in service to Spirit. It's meant to receive God and to extend God, not to come up with its own separate power or its own separate abilities. Transitioning over from self-reliance to God-reliance is a tough challenge and goes entirely against our entire ego-centric way of living, but it's what we're called to do.

It adds a whole new level of meaning to "let go and let God".