In the oneness of God, there is no taking of sides. There is only one side, and everyone's on it. Because there is no split, there is no war.
This state of the "absence of conflict" is a state of peace. It is also very quiet, because there is no war, no shrieks of terror, no invasion and no destruction.
To attack is to not know, because it is an attack on knowledge which is an attribute of peace. To attack peace is to not know reality, and is insane. Those who attack are unaware of who or what they are attacking, and attack in the darkness of their own minds.
"God is very quiet, for there is no conflict in Him. Conflict is the root of all evil, for being blind, it does not see whom it attacks." The stillness of God is quiet and peaceful, because in reality there is only harmony and unity. In the "separation from God", the tiny mad idea introduced the idea that some parts of existence could have something that other parts lacked. This provided the starting point for conflict.
Only when there is more than one side, and the potential to side against something, do you have conflict of any kind. War is impossible without separation, specialness, selfishness and isolation. To exclude is to attack, and heaven is only a realm of inclusion.
As soon as we added the idea of exclusivity we entered into war. This is when the war on God began, and it has not yet ended. All of the history of space and time has been a state of war. Even the physical objects, shapes, sizes, distances and so on, are forms of conflict. They conflict because they are different and do not share. They take sides against each other and differ, therefore conflicting.
"It rests on differences; on uneven background and shifting foreground, on unequal heights and diverse sizes, on varying degrees of darkness and light, and thousands of contrasts in which each thing seen competes with every other in order to be recognized. A larger object overshadows a smaller one. A brighter thing draws the attention from another with less intensity of appeal. And a more threatening idea, or one conceived of as more desirable by the world's standards, completely upsets the mental balance. What the body's eyes behold is only conflict."
Even the slightest removal from God is a state of conflict, in which there is no peace, no quiet, no relief, and no stillness. Everyone is constantly on-guard, seeing themselves as deprived and in need of defenses. To be un-whole is to be lacking, and in need, leading to a sense of vulnerability. Without conflict you are invulnerable.
Within the conflicted world of spacetime, including the Earth, everything conflicts all the time. Sometimes there appears to be what we might call "compatibility", in which there is less conflict. There can seem to be lulls in the fighting, interspersed with escalations of tension. Sometimes these break out into what we call wars or arguments or fights but the truth is that the whole system is a constant state of war, until the world disappears.
There was indeed a "war on God" which began at the separation and is ongoing until the atonement is complete. It is not so much a war between good and evil, because the good retains awareness of peace. The good is conflict-free. Only the evil believes in conflict and conflicts with itself. And thus self-attack is its entire system of thinking.
"Do you not realize a war against yourself would BE a war on God? Is victory CONCEIVABLE? And, if it were, is this a victory that you would WANT? The death of God, if it were possible, would be YOUR death. Is this a VICTORY? The ego ALWAYS marches to defeat, BECAUSE it thinks that triumph over you is possible. And God thinks otherwise. This is no war. Only the mad belief the Will of God can be attacked and overthrown."
If it is peace that you seek, then it is the end of conflict that you seek. To end conflict there has to be oneness, a singular side which benefits everyone and excludes no-one. There has to be an unconditional love and a total sharing of everything. This is the only way to end the war. So long as anyone is left out or opposes or attacks or separates themselves off, there cannot be peace.
Some pursue an escalation of conflict and attack and isolation in an attempt to bring an end to the conflict. This is the idea that if you "get it over with" or take it to the extreme, you'll alleviate the horror of the battlefield and constant suffering. Thus suicide starts to become appealing and death suggests a way out of the war.
But death is not the end of conflict, it's simply another form of it. It's just another way of saying that life and death are opposed and attack is a remedy and annihilation is a solution to conflict. It's an insane idea to suggest that dying is better than finding peace, or that death can bring peace. Only God can bring peace. "Yet the retreat to death is NOT the end of conflict. Only God's ANSWER is its end."
God's answer is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the call for a ceasefire. The Holy Spirit is offering healing and reunion and appeals to everyone to join together. All of his solutions are for the benefit of all without exception. His miracles extend to untold numbers of receivers. And his answers are in favor of everyone without taking sides. He is the idea of a return to peace and a real solution to all conflict.
To the ego, the Holy Spirit is the destroyer of worlds, the bringer of the end of space and time, the destructor of bodies and the final blow from God. But in truth the Holy Spirit is the resurrector, the restorer, the healer, the teacher, the therapist, the comforter, the friend and the help that God has sent to bring an end to destruction and death. He is literally the end of death and the guarantee of eternal life. And in eternal life, there is no more war.
For a long time I have focused on "the secret of salvation". This is to do with realizing that you are the cause of everything you are experiencing. And therefore that you are responsible for all your own suffering. On the one hand it's humbling and on the other hand it's empowering, because if you can realize you're the one doing it you have the freedom to stop.
But l notice now that the secret of "how to be saved" applies in the case where you are not yet saved. It's helpful when you are in the suffering and need to get out of it. That's kind of the context of it, it's a tool you can use to recognize who is doing what to whom, so that you can stop doing it.
I have noticed also that with the secret of salvation, we are focusing a lot on taking responsibility. Which initially is seen as inciting guilt, and then moves into trying to be fully responsible for everything. But the further secret is, that if we try to take full responsibility ALONE, where "separate me" is fully responsible for everything, then we are still generating fearful outlooks, because depending on ourselves alone is a state of rejecting God.
So I've been locked into a stage for a while of trying to be fully responsible, but trying to take that responsibility in isolation, rather than GIVE that responsibility to the Holy Spirit. I feel that I personally am somewhat moving beyond this stage now and into more of the "I am saved" stage. By which I mean, I have recognized that it is my attempts to do anything "alone" that is the source of all suffering, because that's how I "be separate". And "I" can't be fully responsible without sharing that responsibility with God.
Whenever I try to be separate, I essentially am attacking myself, which makes errors, produces more ego fear, and induces suffering. This all comes about after I have judged and given meaning to things, using my own faculties for judging. Which means really, using my own past learning. This always leads to errors because it's lacking a lot of facts. And I keep being shown now just how wrong I can be when I don't know all the details.
So I'm now finding that if I admit to not knowing what anything means, and am willing to stop trying to judge anything I see, and instead seek out the Holy Spirit to join in his vision or interpretation, then this circumvents the whole process of going into error. Or rather, I guess I'm saying that if I seek the state of forgiveness sooner, then I don't go into judgement, and thus don't hurt myself. Which reminds me of this...
"Forgiveness through the Holy Spirit lies simply in looking beyond error from the beginning, and thus KEEPING it unreal for you. Do not let any belief in its realness enter your minds AT ALL, or you will also believe that you must UNDO what you have made, in order to BE forgiven. "
This is what I am atuning to now. Trying to become closer to the Holy Spirit and more identified with my real self, so that I do not go INTO judgement or MAKE errors. Because as soon as you make errors, you'll start believing you've got a whole mess on your hands that you need to fix, problems to solve, fears to address and self-inflicted suffering to be undone. ALL of that can be avoided if you don't make the errors in the first place!
It's far more effective at preventing a movement INTO fear, when I try to remain OUT of the battlefield. Being willing to not be the one to judge, or decide, or plan, or figure out, or deduce meaning, I stay well out of the entire "fight" that we have with the world. If I don't do this and I go into solo-mode, ego pilot mode, then I start to "make a world" that's riddled with separations and conflicts and unresolved problems and threats and dangers.
I have been finding of late therefore that I actually feel... and this is a word Jesus just threw in my mind.... INSULATED.... against dangers. That is to say, I feel like there was an entire version of "the world" which I thought was out there, which has been scraped off the surface of my mind and isn't there anymore. An entire layer of experience and suffering and a sense of threat and engagement and littleness and fear. It's just gone. It's like I have stepped out of an entire world and it has disappeared. At least to a degree, and now I look upon what's left through much calmer and less aggravated perspectives.
I see now therefore what Jesus means about how false perception makes you see a world that looks like hell, and how as you move into more abstract states of mind you lift off of the world entire layers of vulnerability, fear, struggle and suffering. Its like a whole veil has been lifted to some degree, so much that I have been feeling like I'm in a different world. Like I literally just stepped out of one planet and am on another one where a lot of the strife doesn't exist.
And I am thankful for that, because there is a noticeable contrast between how much safer and calmer and happier I feel now without the tremendous burden of being some kind of "soldier on the battlefield" fending off the hounds of hell. I am simply not making as many errors, generating as much fear, producing as much control, making up as many problems, or developing as many meanings for things. And in fact as I look at objects now they appear to be new and fresh and interesting.
It's weird but Jesus basically says that we are to adopt a perspective in which everything is given ONE meaning, from a whole viewpoint where "wholeness is the perceptual content of miracles", where we look upon a forgiven world without trying to understand it, having given up all our past learning and become willing to be empty, to just surrender and let go of trying to know or do or control everything. I'm taking my hands off the steering wheel and the car is finding a a smoother path.
"The holy instant is the Holy Spirit's most useful learning device for teaching you love's meaning. For its purpose is to SUSPEND JUDGMENT ENTIRELY. Judgment ALWAYS rests on the past, for PAST experience is the basis on which you judge. Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for WITHOUT it you do NOT understand anything. You would make no ATTEMPT to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not know WHAT ANYTHING MEANS. You are afraid of this, because you believe that, WITHOUT THE EGO, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that, without the ego, ALL WOULD BE LOVE."
Is the miracle just for you, or for you to give to others also?
Did Jesus only experience miracles for Himself, or did He also share them with others?
When Jesus performed a forgiveness process, do you think that He was applying it only His personal, separate self and his own separate mind? Did the rules of forgiveness only work within his inner experience, or did they overflow onto others?
I am discovering something which I think has been majorly overlooked by the ACIM community. I overlooked it because I always thought "I" was doing the Course, therefore "I" was the one who needed forgiveness, that "I" should claim atonement for my ego self, and that therefore "I" am the only one who is going to benefit from forgiveness and miracles.
But the ego cannot claim the atonement for itself. So THAT "I" cannot be the Self that we are claiming the atonement for. Therefore if that I isn't the identity who experiences atonement, it must be an atonement that extends beyond that I, right? It must go beyond the ego self, and therefore the miracle MUST be shared with others. We MUST be awakening to a shared identity, which is a shared mind (minds that are joined cannot be sick), which means that whatever process of forgiveness and miracles I am applying, it CANNOT just apply to my "self".
I'm suddenly starting to see all manner of understandings about forgiveness, which I had applied to my "separate-me", suddenly applying to others. And as I look further into the idea of working "healing miracles" for others, it is starting to become glaringly obvious that the process of applying forgiveness "for my self" can actually be applied FOR another person.
In other words, this isn't all about me me me forgive myself. As within so without. The "in here" mind in this body is not all of my mind. The world "out there" is not outside of my mind. The out-there world is actually inside my mind because my mind CONTAINS the world. Now, we're talking about at the level of CHRIST here, not just the level of personal Higher-Self mind. The One Son, not the sonship.
I do believe that in ACIM Jesus is teaching us from a level of Christ much of the time, and that the truth's he's trying to point us to are at the Christ level, not just level 2 or 3. At the Christ level, the entire world is the ego, the entire world is an illusion, and the entire world is within my mind. Therefore, "other people" are also in my mind, they are part of my dreaming, their illusion of sickness and death showing up in form are aspects of MY delusions, and therefore I CAN heal their sickness by healing my "self" - ie returning to the Christ identity - the shared collective Christ consciousness.
That means the Course isn't just about me remaining separate - an ego - studying the Course in isolation, doing it "to myself" or "for myself", ie, for my separate identity. In order for miracles to express through me to "others", the rules of miracles must apply equally to the "me" that thinks it is separate inside this body, AND the "me" that is showing up externally. It is all One.
For example, when you look at someone else's body and you see sickness. If you believe it is real (God created it), there is an illusion in "the mind" relating to misperceiving that sickness. You think that illusion is in the mind that's in your body. So you go about a forgiveness process to correct that illusion seemingly in "your mind", to adjust your "personal perception", but it now means you see the other person's sickness correctly as an illusion. This however still leaves an illusion out there. The person is still sick. And in God's truth, illusions are not real, so that person cannot really be sick. Their illusory sickness must go!
So there is an "application" of a forgiveness process that is meant to be applied to OTHERS. This is the proper functioning of the "procedure" of performing a healing miracle for your brother. When bringing in the Holy Spirit and fulfilling your role as "asking for what you want" through commands, and are believing the person must be healed (per God logic) regardless of what *appearances* show, this means overlooking and thus forgiving the appearance of sickness being real.
The forgiveness is occurring in my mind and I move into a place of forgiveness, where I am not making errors, and where I do not see errors as real. And at the same time, that alignment with God will activate the Holy Spirit to flow through you. If you then express that the person is not sick but healthy, their body MUST respond and change to a healthy body.
My willingness to overlook the illusion of sickness in another, yes it heals my own mind if I have delusions about it, but once my mind is free of that delusion, I am now in a position of authority and power. And I am also now joining in mind with the brother. And I also no longer support their sickness. Therefore, as the loving thing to do, I can dispel it.
So what I'm seeing is, much of ACIM is taught as a sort of self-help program, focused on your separate self with no way to apply it to your brother, that you cannot apply it to them without splitting your mind, that you can only forgive yourself etc... but, there is confusion about IDENTITY here. WHO is being forgiven and that that leads to, is quite different.
You are the light of the world. You are the salvation of the world. That isn't passive. That isn't like just being a shiny light on a mountain top. It has power. It dispels illusions, not just at the personal-self level but at the united sonship level. This is why some of Jesus's teaching actually relate to being the Christ, in which all of the illusion exists, and the ability to overcome absolutely all physical laws.
You can wake up to your higher self at level 3, and be at peace with this world. But that will not necessarily grant you walking on water. To do that, you need to become the Christ.
And for the Christ, there are no limits.
Everything about the ego appears to present one way that you can win, and one way that you can lose. It always suggests there's some way to get away with something, to escape the effects of something. To be the victor, to get without giving or give without getting. To be free of problems which still exist, or to find a kind of loophole where, if you just play this game the right way, with skill and education and careful selection, then you'll escape from suffering and find salvation.
Of course it's a bullshit lie.
This world is setup with duality, in which there appear to be "opposites". This is because this world is made from the idea of "an opposite to love" or an opposite to heaven or God. "Earth and heaven are opposites in every way."
It therefore contains opposites. And those opposites *seem* to always be far distant from each other, having nothing in common with each other. Did you fall for that by the way? To the observer, we are blinded by "form", especially given how forms all appears to look different and unalike. Who would suspect an apple and an orange ARE the same thing.
But this is a vast illusion.
The whole point of these oppositions and differences is to get you to believe that there IS a difference, between choosing one thing or choosing another. That some choices are better than others. That if you take this side or that side you will be safer or richer or more successful or less threatened or happier or more spiritual or whatever.
It's a trap folks!
It's a trap because no matter which side you choose, no matter which option, no matter which pill the red one or the blue one, no matter which side of a war you take, no matter who seems to win or lose, no matter how clever you are or how intelligent or how successful you are at navigating the world and making "the best stuff happen", you are LOSING.
You always lose whenever you take any side, whenever you buy into the illusion of differences, whenever you think there is one thing you want in this world more than another. Whether it be that you adore the puppies and kittens and cute babies, moreso than the ugly dogs and cats and old people. Or whether it's that you like your state's teams to win and for the others to fail. Or whether it's that you are right in an argument and the other person is a loser. Or whether you are filthy rich or filthy poor.
ALL of these options are designed to get you to do one thing and one thing only.
To settle for some PART of the world, at the exclusion of the rest, so that you will make that part special (special love) and reject the rest (special hate).
The sole purpose of this to the ego, which has absolutely no concern for whether you choose A or B, is that you choose at all. That you differentiate between illusions. That you become selective and that you want to accept only some thing and not others. That you will take a side and be against something else.
The result of this "choosing between illusions" is that you choose separation. You emphasize the ways that one illusory form is better or worse than another. And this drives a rift inbetween the two. It makes one thing look like a horrible attacking enemy, and another look like a glorious savior or hero.
So we're left with the rather uncomfortable truth, that everything in this world has been designed by the ego to be a losing situation no matter what you choose. No matter which side you're on, or who wins or loses, you still lose. You lose because as soon as you believe the illusion of separations and differences and appearances and forms, you are buying into the ego. And that's an instant loss.
Whether you prefer sunsets or sunrises, the ego has some news for you. Whether you like cats more than dogs or democrats vs republicans, it doesn't matter. If you believe in the difference that appears to distinguish them as opposite to or not the same as each other, you are buying into the ego. And that means you are believing that accepting only part of the whole is better than accepting the whole. So now you've gone from wholeness to partiality, and that's a reduction in how much you there is left, so you just destroyed yourself.
The sorry fact is, this world was set up so that there is NOTHING here that's going to save you. And if you choose any of it, ANY of it at all, you will suffer. This is the deep meaning behind "this world holds nothing that I want". It's also why happy sunsets and kittens are just as much an ego temptation to want to keep some things and not others, to keep you in the dream, and to keep you from wanting God.
Could this world offer you anything that you want, if the TRUE CHOICE is not between crappy bullshit ego substance A, and crappy bullshit ego substance B.... but rather, between ALL of the crap, and God? That's the only real choice you can make. Do I want a world of opposites where nothing is wholly satisfying and you are guaranteed to lose because everything is a compromise/tradeoff, or do you want wholeness and fullness and satisfaction and completeness, with nothing missing and everything welcomed equally?
"Beyond this world there is a world that I want."
"No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth."
"This world holds nothing that I want."
"M-13.4. God's teachers can have no regret on giving up the pleasures of the world. 2 Is it a sacrifice to give up pain? 3 Does an adult resent the giving up of children's toys? 4 Does one whose vision has already glimpsed the face of Christ look back with longing on a slaughter house? 5 No one who has escaped the world and all its ills looks back on it with condemnation. 6 Yet he must rejoice that he is free of all the sacrifice its values would demand of him. 7 To them he sacrifices all his peace. 8 To them he sacrifices all his freedom. 9 And to possess them must he sacrifice his hope of Heaven and remembrance of his Father's Love. 10 Who in his sane mind chooses nothing as a substitute for everything?"
This is a radical teaching in A Course in Miracles which is often denied or distorted, simply because it seems too radical to be true. The BODY must be healed otherwise the mind IS NOT HEALED. "Only the mind AND body need atonement." "Damaged bodies are accusers." "A damaged body is PROOF the mind ***has not been healed***."
"Forgiveness is not real UNLESS it brings a healing (OF THE BODY AND MIND) to your brother AND yourself. YOU must attest his sins had no effect on YOU (no evidence of physical attack), to **demonstrate** (physically!) they were not real. How else COULD he be guiltless? And how COULD his innocence be justified UNLESS ***his sins have no effect*** (no damage to show for it) to WARRANT guilt? Sins (physical attacks) are beyond forgiveness just BECAUSE they would entail ***effects which CANNOT be undone*** (physical damage) and overlooked entirely (because if you can still SEE IT there is proof of sin). ***In their UNDOING lies the proof*** that they were merely errors. LET yourself be healed (mind AND body), that you may be forgiving, offering (in person, physically) salvation to your brother AND yourself. A broken body (YES, mind AND BODY must be healed) shows the mind has NOT been healed. A miracle of healing (physically) ***proves*** that separation is WITHOUT effect.
What you would prove to him you will believe (!! if you SHOW him a sick body, YOU **MUST** BELIEVE IN SICKNESS!). The power of ***witness*** (seen visually, physical healing) COMES from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but testifies to what you teach to him. Your ****body can be means to teach that it has never suffered pain**** because of him. And *!*!*!>>> in its healing <<< *!*!*! can it offer him mute testimony to his innocence. It is THIS testimony (A PHYSICALLY HEALED BODY DEVOICE OF ANY SIGNS OF ATTACK!!!) that can speak with power greater than a thousand tongues. For here is his forgiveness PROVED to him. A miracle (producing PHYSICAL healing!) can offer nothing LESS to him than it has given unto you. So does your healing (OF THE BODY!!!) show your mind is healed (as well), ***and has forgiven what he did NOT do***. And so is HE ***convinced*** (by PHYSICAL PROOF) his innocence was never lost, and healed along with you.
Thus does the miracle undo ***all things the world attests can never BE undone*** (all physical damage/effects, all sickness, all hurt, all wounds). And hopelessness ***and death*** (physical death!) ***MUST disappear*** before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to ***show your brother that you had no hurt of him.*** (REQUIRES that the physical body be fully RESTORED TO HEALTH AND WHOLENESS SO THAT YOU CAN *SHOW HIM*) He thinks ***your blood*** (literally, physical blood) is on his hands, and so he stands condemned (by your physical sickness - "damaged bodies are accusers"). But it is given you to ***SHOW him, by your healing (OF THE BODY!!!), that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."
YES, IT DOES MEAN THIS FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!
Here is Jesus backing it up further in another part of the course.
"Now in the hands made gentle by His touch, the Holy Spirit lays a ***picture of a DIFFERENT you***. ****It is a picture of a body still****, for what you REALLY are can not be seen nor pictured. But ****THIS one has NOT been used for purpose of attack, and therefore never suffered pain at all.**** (a perfectly healed, whole, unharmed body with no signs of sin or attack or sickness!) IT (this "picture of health body") witnesses to the eternal truth that **you can not BE hurt**, and ***points BEYOND itself to both YOUR innocence and HIS.*** (indicates, teaches, demonstrates, SHOWS, symbolized, your brother's innocence).
Show THIS unto your brother (a healed body!), who will ****see that every scar is healed**** (literally all physical scarring is gone), and every tear is wiped away in laughter and in love. And ***he will look on his forgiveness there*** (sees he is forgiven because there are NO EFFECTS OF SIN), and with healed eyes will look BEYOND it (because it's a symbol pointing to the mind's healing), to the innocence that he beholds in you (in your healed mind). Here is the proof (PHYSICAL!!!) that he has NEVER sinned; that NOTHING that his madness bid him do (attack you, damage your body, harm your body, make you sick, wound you etc) was ever done, ****or ever had effects of any kind**** (ALL PHYSICAL EFFECTS ARE HEALED!!!!!). That NO reproach he laid upon his heart was EVER justified (no reason for guilt cus the body is not hurt), and NO attack can touch him with the poisoned sting of fear (the healed body proves he cannot have really attacked). Attest his innocence (physically) and NOT his guilt. YOUR (body and mind) healing is his comfort and HIS health. BECAUSE it proves illusions were not true." (the health of himself AND HIS BODY are now restored as a result of his exoneration by YOUR healed mind and body!)
Also
"The body can become a sign of life (symbol of eternal life and invulnerability), a promise of redemption, and a ***breath of immortality*** to those grown sick of breathing in the fetid scent of death (literal physical stinky death). Let it have healing as its PURPOSE (use by the holy spirit for healing). Then will it send forth (communicate VISUALLY through PHYSICAL PROOF) the message it received, and by its (physical) health and loveliness (!! Yes the body's loveliness and health) proclaim (communicate, teach!) the truth and value that it represents. Let it receive the power to represent (symbolize, to be a symbol of immortality) an endless life, forever unattacked. (the body shows up AS IF it is immortal!) And to your brother let its message be, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I live."" (because the body now PROVES that as a consequence of your brother's INNOCENCE, YOUR BODY IS NOT ATTACKED, proving HE is forgiven.)
Reference "the fear of healing" and "the picture of crucifixion" sections for more information.
"The miracle-worker begins by PERCEIVING light, and translates HIS perception into sureness by continually extending it, and ACCEPTING ITS ACKNOWLEDGMENT. Its EFFECTS assure him IT IS THERE. The therapist does not heal; he LETS HEALING BE. HE can point to darkness, but he CANNOT bring light OF HIMSELF, for light is NOT of him. But being FOR him, it MUST be for his patient.
The Holy Spirit is the ONLY therapist. He makes healing PERFECTLY clear in ANY situation in which He is the Guide. The human therapist can only LET HIM FULFILL HIS FUNCTION. He needs no help for this. He WILL tell you EXACTLY what to do, to help ANYONE He sends to you FOR help, and will speak to him through you, IF YOU DO NOT INTERFERE. Remember that you ARE choosing a guide for helping, and the wrong choice will NOT help. But remember also that THE RIGHT ONE WILL. Trust Him, for help is His function, and He is of God.
As you awaken other minds TO Him through HIM, and not yourself, you will understand that you are not obeying the laws of this world, but that the laws you ARE obeying WORK. "The good is what works" is a sound though insufficient statement. ONLY the good CAN work. Nothing else works at all. This course is a guide to behavior. Being a very direct and very simple learning situation, it provides the guide who tells you what to do. If you do it, you will SEE that it works. Its RESULTS are more convincing than its words. THEY will convince you that the words are true."
When you are willing to step aside and let the holy spirit work through you, making sure not to interfere, or to even think you need to be the one who makes something happen, this open conduit is a channel through which HE can express healing miracles. As soon as your ego takes over and tries to interfere by trying to "be the one" who is causing the healing, it interrupts the process. Similarly by actively stepping back and allowing and letting go, the Holy Spirit can best utilize your body to heal through.
The exciting challenge we have is to really realize that the Holy Spirit IS HERE as a HEALER AND THERAPIST, and we are supposed to seriously LET HIM fulfill that function , to let HIM do profound things through you, to get out of the way and be nothing more than a conduit through which he performs HIS miracles of healing.
That’s a very different role and function than believing that healing originates with your egoic forcefulness. And it can take a while to learn to stop trying AT ALL and allow and TRUST him to do the miracle. This doesn’t mean "not doing anything at all", you still have to participate. He needs to use your body to move THROUGH to reach others. But HE is the one with the power to cause things to happen, so our job is to be willing to LET HIM do the profound healing work THROUGH us.
This means, standing there with your hands on someone, plugged into the Holy Spirit, trusting him, allowing HIM to do stuff through your body, and recognizing you are doing NOTHING to interfere with HIS expertise. HE knows how to heal anything. YOU DO NOT. You haven’t the first clue how to repair a body. So you don’t be the healer. You just be a doorway through which a true healer moves through you. You let HIM do the work.
This is humbling because it means giving up all effort to BE the one who heals someone. Ironically, paradoxically, when you stop trying to use your ego to heal, trying to force it to happen, and failing, and you give up that entire desire and identity, you are then willing to surrender enough to ALLOW HIM to perform miracles through you.
This means dropping the spiritualized ego, the hero, the performer, the savior,the rescuer, the fixer, the resister, and getting rid of all ego attempts to be a miracle worker. To try doing it yourself and to fail at it, so that you can open up the door to a supernatural power not of this world, and not of you. In a way, you be a miracle worker by letting HIM be the miracle worker.
"BUT DO NOT INTERFERE. The power set in you, in whom the Holy Spirit's goal has been established, is so far beyond your little conception of the infinite, that you have no idea how great the strength that goes with you."
"The holy do not interfere with truth."
"Purification is of God alone (the Holy Spirit), and THEREFORE for you. Rather than seek to prepare YOURSELF for Him, try to think thus:
"I, who am host to God, AM worthy of Him.
He Who ESTABLISHED His dwelling-place in me created it as He would have it be.
It is not needful that I make it ready for Him, but only that I DO NOT INTERFERE with His plan to RESTORE to me my own AWARENESS of my readiness, which is eternal.
I need ADD nothing to His plan.
But to RECEIVE it, I MUST be willing NOT to substitute my own, IN PLACE of it.""
"We thank You, Father, for Your guarantee of only happy outcomes in the end. Help us not interfere, and so delay the happy endings You have promised us for every problem that we can perceive; for every trial we think we still must meet.""
"What the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly not of this world."
"The Holy Spirit is the MECHANISM of miracles." (He does them!)
"You cannot see the Holy Spirit, but you can see His manifestations. And unless you do, you will not realize He is there. Miracles are His witnesses, and speak for his Presence. What you cannot see becomes real to you only through the witnesses who speak for it. For you can be AWARE of what you cannot see, and it can become compellingly real to you, as its presence becomes manifest THROUGH you. Do His work, for you SHARE in His function. As your function in Heaven is creation, so your function on earth is healing. God shares His function with you in Heaven, and the Holy Spirit shares His with you on earth."
"Illusions recognized must disappear."
Let's say there is a monster behind the door. It's dark back there, and there was a strange noise. Something seemed to move. Because of the darkness, there is a lack of ability to see clearly, and things are obscure. You're having to make evaluations based on a lack of clarity and not having all the facts. You can't see the whole context so it seems reasonable to conclude there is some strange dark beast lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce.
However, when you switch on the light, and you move the door aside, you see that in fact there is no monster there. It was a trick, a deception. What you thought was there, is not there. And all you see is some clothing which was hanging on the door which slipped off the door hook and fell down. You suddenly realize this is what made the sound you heard, and are relieved to realize this is "all that it is". You simply see the whole picture clearly, you have all the information, nothing is hidden or obscure, and "in the light" it becomes clearly obvious what is there and what is not. And upon seeing this, the illusion of a monster has disappeared.
This is what it's like to go through a transition from believing that illusions are real, to realizing and recognizing that they are not. Learning to recognize what the situation actually IS, rather than what you thought it was. Learning to SEE clearly, so that you only see things for what they actually ARE, instead of what you were making of them. And once you see the illusion for only what it is without adding to or removing anything, it no longer holds any threat or implication. It only is what it is, nothing more and nothing less, and what it is is false, not something to believe in or be upset about. And seeing it for what it IS, doesn't make it REAL.
A similar thing happens with puzzle solving. Let's say you have some puzzle, perhaps a three dimensional set of object pieces that you're supposed to disconnect but you can't see how to do it. You start out deceived by illusions. Something about the appearance of the puzzle has deceived you, causing you to make assumptions that are false, and so you're starting out with distorted perception OF an illusion. But you believe them, and so you are blind to the "solution" because you can't see past your deluded mis-perceptions and mistaken evaluations.
Eventually after much trying, it suddenly occurs to you that something you were seeing was not actually the case. It seemed to be something, but was actually something else. You suddenly remark "oh" and recognize what's actually happening. You recognize the illusion, see through the illusion, and awareness of a larger context dawns on you. In that greater light or perspective, outside of the illusions, you can suddenly "see" the answer, and WHY the puzzle was deceiving you.
You see through its deception and recognize the mechanisms of deception, and now can solve the puzzle. It is obvious then. And you kick yourself for having not seen something so blatantly obvious all along. Afterwards you can never see the puzzle the same way again or be deceived by it, because you have learned to recognize the truth and would have to deliberately blind yourself.
The same thing also happens with your beliefs, which have an effect on your perception and how things register to your awareness. What you believe is true, will seem real to you. And it will take on properties of power, causality, will, intensity and permanence. And by investing it WITH truth you will take it to be telling you the truth, as though it is factually real. But just because illusions appear to be real, doesn't mean they are. And so if you have illusions ABOUT illusions, you are having false perception.
If you have a belief, let's say, that you are an unworthy person who doesn't deserve love because of something you did 3 years ago, that's going to skew your perception and make it appear that it's TRUE of you that you don't deserve love. And because you believe in that, which ultimately is untrue in the big picture, you are blinded by this belief. You can't see past it or accept the truth about you - that you deserve love. Illusions about you seem to be true, rather than illusions about you being recognized as false.
But then if you work on this "true" belief, you transition from believing it is true, to recognizing and believing it is false. As you make that transition, how that belief "strikes" you or registers with your mind, changes. When you believed it was true it seemed to hold power and truth, to threaten and define you, and upset you, and seemed to be a CAUSE or reason why you are unlovable. It seemed to have truth in it and you were upset by it. But now, as you see it from a different vantage point, you STILL SEE IT, but it registers to your perception in a different way. It now just seems false, you don't feel like you believe in it, it doesn't appear to be true to you, and it doesn't hold any of that seeming "charge" that gave it a sense of power and causality. You now see the belief as nothing, nonsense, totally untrue, and something you are now WILLING to surrender and let go of.
As you work on transitioning from false perception to true perception, this is more or less the same process you will go through. False perception is a state where you are experiencing or presented with illusions but you are having illusions ABOUT those illusions, causing you to BELIEVE THEY ARE REAL. You believe they are true, are blinded by them, deceived by them, tempted by them, and you can't see past their *appearance*. You think they make sense and are valid, because you believe IN them and have placed a sense of trust and truth into them, seeing no reason to question their "reality."
Over time, you will still continue to see these same illusions, BUT, how they APPEAR to you, how they strike you, how they register to your awareness, will transition from that state where they seem to have power and causality and loom over you like they are unquestionable, to where they have lost all their seeming strength, all their power and causality, all their truth and validity, you have WITHDRAWN your belief in them, you see PAST their appearances, you no longer put your belief IN them, and therefore they simply now seem to be UNREAL. They have deflated and collapsed down into nothing. They register to your mind as FALSE. You see a bigger truth, in light of which these smaller lies are OBVIOUSLY false and cannot be believed. You wonder why you ever believed such nonsense in the first place.
Recognize here then that up until you are done perfecting your true perception/christ vision, you are in a state of being surrounded WITH illusions (the physical world), but are learning to RECOGNIZE them for what they REALLY ARE, rather than being deceived by them and believing they are true. And that means you're still going to PERCEIVE them, it's just that HOW you perceive them is going to change, and how they LOOK to you is going to change. What they MEAN to you is going to change. And whether or not you believe they are TRUE is going to change. The world is going to transition from seeming to be REAL, to being clearly UNREAL!
When illusions are seen but NOT recognized for what they are, two things are happening. There is a seemingly external illusion, PLUS you have a distorted vision which can't see past the appearances and takes the illusion to be real. So now there are TWO layers of illusions. When you are learning to OVERLOOK (forgive) the illusion, it is STILL SEEN for a while, BUT the DISTORTED INTERPRETATION *OF AN ILLUSION* changes to an ACCURATE interpretation of the illusion. That which is illusory is not merely your mistaken perception OF something. There are two layers to illusions. The illusion ITSELF (e.g. physical world, bodies), and whether or not you are DECEIVED by it (believe in it). Just because you undo your deception/misperception doesn't mean that you are done undoing the illusion ITSELF. Your misperceptions OF the world, merely reveal to you the truth ABOUT the world, the "reality" of it, which is that IT IS NOT REALITY.
When Christ vision is perfected and you no longer believe in ANY illusions, the illusion DOES disappear. Or shall we say, when you no longer believe that this ILLUSORY WORLD is real, and can RECOGNIZE IT for what it is - a dream - it will disappear. Along the way, as you undo your belief in ANY illusion being real, the illusion "THAT IT IS REAL" disappears, revealing the illusion FOR WHAT IT IS. That it IS an illusion, not a reality. And eventually the view that it is ALL an illusion becomes very clear and obvious, and then the entire thing disappears.
To "see through" the illusion is to OVERLOOK it, which is what forgiving it means. "To forgive is to overlook". By NOT BEING DECEIVED *BY* the illusory world, causes you to forgive the world and therefore produces "the forgiven world". But "a forgiven world cannot last", because IF you forgive it, ie if you recognize it for what is "really is", you WILL recognize that IT IS AN ILLUSION OF A WORLD. NOT a real world. "The real world still is but a dream." And this is why forgiven worlds MUST disappear BECAUSE they don't really exist!
This world, including Earth, is an illusion of a world. It is illusory ITSELF, a fake world made of illusions and deceptions. regardless of whether you RECOGNIZE it as that or not. And if you DON'T recognize it as that, you WILL believe it is REAL. And that is FALSE PERCEPTION. It was made to tempt you and deceive you. If you are still seeing it, you must believe in it to some degree. But as you transition towards Christ vision, you will gradually learn to regard it as FALSE, unreal, and untrue. This means you will be withdrawing your belief in it, withdrawing your faith from it, and learning to register it as false, or in the category of "unreality". You will no longer be deceived BY the illusion, or have illusions ABOUT the illusion.
***Just because your misperceptions become corrected DOES NOT MEAN that you are unveiling reality to yourself. It means you are unveiling the TRUE NATURE OF the ILLUSION!*** And reality is BEYOND IT!!!
Just because you have illusions ABOUT the world, does not mean that the world itself is REAL! Or that by "seeing what is true about it" is to see it AS true. Or to "see the reality of it" means it IS real. IT IS NOT REAL. Just because you misunderstand what the world IS, doesn't automatically mean it IS REAL or true BEHIND your misunderstandings. Your misunderstanding OF the world is that YOU THINK IT IS REAL WHEN IT ISN'T!!!!! It only means that you are not seeing WHATEVER IT IS, correctly. False perception does that. And it does not follow that seeing the world "truly" will show you that it is REAL, only that its "true nature" will be revealed, real OR illusory. It will show you the truth ABOUT the world. It will show you the "reality of" the world. But what the world is, in reality, in truth, IS UNREALITY. The world *ITSELF* is an illusion of a world, which you have been having illusions ABOUT.
***False perception falsely perceives illusions (with more illusions) and believes they are real.***
***True perception CORRECTLY perceives ILLUSIONS and RECOGNIZES them as FALSE.***
Undoing your illusions ABOUT the world therefore isn't going to lead to you realizing that this world is REAL, or reveal to you "its underlying reality". It SHOULD lead to you realizing that this world is UNREAL, and that it couldn't possibly have come from God, only from YOUR DREAMING. It's unreal precisely BECAUSE when you believed it was real, you were MISTAKEN. When you thought IT was true, you were mistaken and having misperceptions of insanity - believing that something illusory HAS REALITY. And so learning the truth ABOUT it, should revel to you that it is NOT REAL, AND NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS. False perception is a state of FALSELY INTERPRETING AN ILLUSORY WORLD. ***It is a state of HAVING ILLUSIONS ABOUT AN ILLUSION.*** Not falsely interpreting reality. True perception is a state of CORRECTLY INTERPRETING AN ILLUSORY WORLD TO BE FALSE, whereby the illusory world is OVERLOOKED (forgiven) and the REAL WORLD (heaven) comes into sight in place of it.
What the course typically calls "the real world" is that state of mind you get into when you solve the puzzle, or realize there is no monster behind the door. It's a state where the world is still briefly SEEN, but NOT BELIEVED. So that means, as you approach the real world, and you are seemingly IN THIS WORLD, in a body still, you SHOULD be realizing AND recognizing and perceiving this world AS. .... nothing but A DREAM, a fiction, UNTRUTH, UNREALITY. Walking around it in the "awareness of dreaming" KNOWING that it IS a dream, NOT a reality. Being aware that this world IS ILLUSION and holds nothing that you want. "It takes great learning to both recognize and accept that this world has nothing to give." And in that state of recognition, you are like dipping your toe into an unreal hell only for the sake of helping others to leave it.
The world should hold NO REALITY FOR YOU!!! NONE. The world IS NOTHING. IT DOES NOT EXIST! THERE IS NO WORLD! "The world will spin into the NOTHINGNESS from which it came."
To be a teacher of God is to be aware of dreaming. That means being aware that you are IN A DREAM WORLD. It is not the END of dreaming. You are still IN the dream, RECOGNIZING that it IS a dream, not a reality. NOT believing it is true or real. NOT believing in it. NOT buying into what you see. NOT buying into sickness. NOT believing bodies are really people. NOT believing that anything you see is TRUE or permanent or irreversible or happening in reality.
Yet still perceiving it, just enough that you can still operate in it temporarily. And eventually your clarity about the truth becomes so complete, there you will see THROUGH the illusory world fully, having NO ILLUSIONS ABOUT THE ILLUSION, such that the illusory world completely disappears, revealing the real world, and then you will transition effortlessly to heaven. Where is the illusory world then? It does not exist, and it never did, because there is no world.
When illusions are fully recognized, THEY DISAPPEAR. The illusory world, Earth, WILL disappear, BECAUSE it is an illusion. The body's eyes can see it BECAUSE the body can ONLY see illusions. The world and the body are both dreams. None of them are real. That is what true perception is supposed to reveal to you, NOT that this world is "actually real" behind your misperceptions of it.
Reality is BEYOND ANY PERCEIVED WORLD. It is beyond the falsely perceived illusory world, and it is beyond the truly perceived illusory world. It is beyond perception ENTIRELY.
In my ongoing exploration and practice of performing healing miracles, I gradually chisel away at the reasons why it is or isn't working, and gradually refine the process. I guess it's like learning anything, like how to drive a car or how to sing.
At first you do all kinds of things that aren't necessary and produce mistakes and problems. Gradually you UN-learn various things you were doing that were interfering.
Lately I'm moving more towards trusting Holy Spirit Himself to teach me about it, rather than trying to the find answers in other people's teachings about it, especially as I'm gradually seeing more and more inconsistencies in what other people have said.
One of the key aspects of miracle healing is, apparently, an element of belief. I've heard people talk about how you must believe first in order to receive. It is said biblically that he who asks, believing that he will receive, will do so. And this is also reflected in the Course.
I'm discovering that BELIEVING that it is TRUE that healing will occur, or indeed, that it HAS occurred (per God), is a key part of this "procedure".
Previously, I would attempt to do a miracle and say various things and use my hands and so on, with some amount of conviction that it was "possible" for this to work. But at the same time, I still was looking and waiting to see IF it was working. This means focusing on the presence of signs of change, first, instead of focusing on belief first. It means I'm making the error real, instead of overlooking it.
So if the sickness or problem is the error, or the form of error, and if I'm looking AT it trying to undo it, I've kept it real and am believing the ego's illusion. Therefore I am not in a mode of forgiveness.
Here I'm finding there is a really interesting, almost double-interpretation of what the Course says about miracles and forgiveness. On the one hand there is forgiving illusions for the sake of your own sanity and so on, mind correction, BUT, also it's seeming more and true that this APPLIES not only within my little body mind but also "OUT THERE" in the greater mind.
That means, forgiveness can be applied externally from my separate self, just as much as internally. That means, there are illusions of sickness outside of my body, as much as there might be such things inside. When I see errors (sickness) in someone's body, if I think that illusion is real, I am basically failing to forgive. If I am to UNDO that illusion, it isn't going to simply mean that I change my perception about it within my mind and it gets fixed within ME, within the scope of my separate self, but that it is supposed to ALSO get fixed out there in the larger dream.
The illusion of sickness in the other person is supposed to get corrected and undone and disappear, just as it would if it were inside my own form. Therefore, as part of the miracle-working process, which applies WITHIN AND WITHOUT (which are both the same), I need to OVERLOOK the person's sickness by not focusing on it when I am attempting to heal them. This also means that, as Jesus says, the miracle is intended to heal BOTH of us and not just my private inner world.
If when I attempt a miracle with Holy Spirit, I am looking not with a mindset of believing in truth, but with a mindset of believing that the error is in the person's body is real, then I am not going to see a miracle. This was something I was getting wrong, because I felt that IF a miracle were to happen with the person's body, I would actually be SURPRISED. That's not a good sign. That indicates that I don't REALLY believe that it's going to happen, and therefore I don't REALLY believe in God or that it CAN happen, yet alone that it WILL and MUST.
So I've been asking myself this question, do I REALLY believe that this person's given sickness, whatever the target is, do I ACTUALLY believe that it really can and will be healed? And in this, I have to be really HONEST with myself. And honestly, some of the things that I've been trying to heal, I did not really believe could be healed. Even if I was trying fairly earnestly or making a fool of myself. Deep down, I wasn't really totally certain or convinced that it would work, I was relying more on wishful thinking and hope than on faith and knowing.
So what happened was, I found myself ready to do a "remote miracle", on my own with Holy Spirit, away from a person, and what came to me was that I should not try to heal the thing I thought I would tackle, because I'm not ready. I don't believe it enough. The illusion of that particular "error" being real is too strong at the moment, so I don't have enough belief that it can be healed. So I was directed by Holy Spirit to work on a different issue, which he specifically named. And I noticed that I FELT that I believed it WAS possible for this other issue to be healed. I'm not sure if its to do with the order of difficulty issue - hierarchy of illusions, that for some reason I have less baggage and blockage relating to that particular ailment, but it seemed more POSSIBLE for me to believe in its healing. So I did that.
And then Holy Spirit told me to "cancel". So I did a forgiveness process canceling the belief that anything about the sickness was true or real. Gradually Holy Spirit's energies flowed more and more intensely, and I found myself BELIEVING that it was happening. That the healing WAS being received, and that it WAS fully given. And I did not feel like I would be surprised if it worked. Instead, I felt that it was, as Holy Spirit then said, "done." He said it was "fully given."
Believing that the healing can and will be done is very important, because it's the same thing as you believing that the forgiven mind is true and that the person is innocent in this area. Just as much as if it applied to myself. It's not so much I think that the believing in it itself gives it any kind of power, BUT, that I am placing my faith and loyalty SOMEWHERE, so either I am believing in the truth of God's healing, OR I must be believing in the ego's lie of sickness. So which is it going to be? I need to ACTUALLY BELIEVE that God's truth is the truth and that, therefore, there MUST be healing.
I think I'm on to something.
When you resist something in life, when you can't accept the fact of what is, or what has seemingly happened, when you are fighting with it and don't want it and want it to be a different way, you WILL experience being unhappy.
Resistance itself, causes unhappiness.
As you resist, what is happening? You're putting up barriers, you're shutting down, you're trying to control, you're blocking out what is, you're fighting, you're wasting a lot of futile energy not being able to change any facts, you're draining yourself on impossible wishes, you're running up against reality, etc.. And all of these actions, are experienced AS feelings of unhappiness, feelings of anger, feelings of sadness and fear, feelings of exhaustion, feelings of threat and danger, feelings of intensity and tension.
Now, when you are resisting life, no matter what in particular, what you need to realize is that it is the resisting ITSELF that doesn't feel good. You will resist, thinking that you feel unhappy 'because of' the thing you are resisting. You'll think, you feel angry or outraged or upset 'because of' what you don't want to be happening. Whatever it is that you 'cannot accept', you will say that THAT is causing you to feel unhappy.
This is not true at all.
ALL of the feelings and experiences of unpleasantness, unhappiness, upset, anger etc... all of them are PART OF what it feels likes like to RESIST WHAT IS. And it doesn't matter what form your opponent takes, because ultimately 'what is' is God, and any form of resisting God shuts God out, and that does not feel good at all. If you shut God out, you will shut out love, light, happiness, joy, peace, harmony. So you can be pretty much guaranteed, if you resist what's happening, you MUST feel unhappy and upset.
So now, realize this. .... unhappy feelings are caused by RESIST-ING, not by what you are resisting against. Resistance in other words, is a form of skapegoating, in which you're trying to make out that 'they' - your enemy - are the cause of your problem. That they are causing all of the anger you feel, all of the unhappiness you feel, all of the tension and stress that you feel. It's all their fault. It's all the fault of 'what is' (ultimately blaming God). But this is not only spiritually irresponsible, it is also deluded. What you're resisting against or fighting against is NOT the cause of your upset. The cause of your upset is ONLY, the fact that YOU are choosing to resist it.
That's all. There is no other reason why you are unhappy other than that you are choosing to resist what is, and are then blaming or justifying 'why' you are resisting, onto the other person or situation. It's not their fault that you're resisting them. It's not their fault you are unhappy. It's not the 'now's fault that you are going off into the past and future on a tirade story of how you've been victimized.
Ultimately then, all of the experience of victimhood and suffering and upset and unhappiness is a DECISION YOU ARE MAKING, in order to justify and explain WHY you are choosing not to ACCEPT what is. Why you are not accepting God.
"You are never upset for the reason you think" - ACIM
"You are upset because you see something that is not really there" - ACIM
What you see that you think is there, is an enemy who has suddenly arisen out of 'what is', which you have labelled as wrong, having given it all the meaning it has, and now you are in a state of resisting, which you chose, and because of this choice, you are now experiencing suffering. AND THIS IS ALL YOUR OWN DOING TO YOURSELF.
"The secret to salvation is this, that you are but doing this all to yourself." - ACIM
SOOOOO..... what this means is... and here's the clincher....
*IF* you were to decide to stop resisting and fighting with what is, IF you were to choose to ACCEPT IT, instead of trying to move away from it, IF you were to choose to ALLOW IT, instead of trying to make it be something else, IF you were to choose to WELCOME IT, then guess what's going to happen to how you feel?
You're suddenly going to feel more peaceful, more happy, more calm, more joyous, more free, more empowered, more clear, more alive. All your feelings of suffering are going to just disappear. Just like that. All your upset, all your anger and outrage, all your depression, all your sickness, all your sadness, all of it is going to just disappear because you're choosing to welcome GOD. God is what is. Accepting what is is far closer to accepting God, and God is love, and accepting love HEALS YOU.
So.... realize this..... if you choose resistance, you will INVENT and manifest sickness and suffering, purely because you are resisting. And before you resisted, you did not have any of this. And as soon as you resisted, the suffering showed up. And now in your resistance you are suffering, but you're trying to blame the cause of it onto the thing you're resisting against. It's got nothing to do with that. Resist, you suffer. Don't resist, you be happy. That's all it boils down to. It's a black and white decision.
Either you accept what is and be happy and at peace.
Or you resist what is and experience suffering and unhappiness.
You cannot resist and be happy. You cannot fight and be at peace. You cannot blame and be at peace.
So really nothing is happening to you. The thing you resist is not causing your suffering. The people you don't like are not causing your suffering. The group you didn't want aren't causing your suffering. The suffering is YOUR WAY OF RESISTING THEM.
So you chose it. You're literally doing it to yourself. And the only way to NOT suffer, is to give up your position. You cannot maintain your position of resistance AND be at peace or happy. It is IMPOSSIBLE!
Choices:
a) resist what's happening and be unhappy and suffer and sick and die, you can never win and you will never get your way.
b) allow and accept what's happening and be completely happy and at peace and still not get your way, but at least you are happy.
So resistance is a smokescreen where you pretend to be justified in resisting. But resistance itself is what makes you suffer and is the sole CHOICE to cause yourself to suffer. You say, "I'd rather resist this and suffer and be upset". And then you project it. Your only other option is. ... accept the truth. Accept the facts. Surrender to what is. Allow it
Then you can be happy and at peace. And then what the fuck does it matter what's happening?
The really big problem we have isn't so much to do with the characteristics of the ego. The big problem that we've confused who we are with it. Our sense of 'self' has become caught up in it. Our identity has been redefined by it. We actually believe that IT is who we are.
This is where we run into all manner of problems, and again, not even touching on the ego's death wish or all of its lies and deceptions, just the mere FACT of you having 'attached your self' to the ego presents major issues.
So just to clarify, there is YOU, and then there are two thought systems. There is the entire ego and its thought system, and then there is Holy Spirit and His thought system. YOU are either identified with and absorbed in one or the other. You, as the 'decision maker', float back and forth between them, but spend most of your time in ego land.
So who 'you' are, is really actually a combination of TWO things, your 'self', and either God or the ego. When you are identified with the ego, you THINK that you are 'one identity', but in fact you are two identities. You+ego. It's either that, or you+God. In God you actually can become ONE, but with the ego, you are always still separate and split and confused about who you really are, because you can't be fully one with the ego.
The problem now is, that you will try to become more spiritual. Now this alone leads to hellish problems. You will be holding on tight to the ego, while at the same time, attempting to become spiritual or to move in the direction of spirit. This is a major issue because your sense of identity is still very tied to the ego, so any efforts you make you 'stop being ego', will be experienced by the 'you' that is identified with the ego, as 'you attacking yourself'. The part of you tied to it will resist the truth, will not want to wake up, will retaliate and attempt to protect itself from the truth that the other part of you is exposing yourself to, and you will terrorize yourself!
What this also leads to is another major issue. Attempting to become spiritual WITHOUT dis-identifying from the ego, will cause you to attempt to bring the ego along WITH you in that transformation. You will try to make IT be more spiritual, because you think it is who you are. You'll attempt to transform the ego self, to pull the ego self into a new kind of thought system that it completely rejects and is incompatible with. It will resist strongly and it will not be able to stay there. So while you stay identified with the ego, you will constantly be pulled back into the ego after any endeavor to reach the light of truth. You will open up a little bit to truth, then the ego will act like a bungie cord, pulling you back down to its 'level' of consciousness.
So basically you have a major identity crisis. Who you think you are is so attached to the ego and its thoughts, that whenever you try to wake up, you think that you're being attacked. And really you are. If you are going to hold onto the ego while simultaneously trying to become more truthful/honest, you are going to SUFFER. You will spiritualize the ego. You will experience constant ego 'rebounds', which really is the ego-attached you pulling YOURSELF back to the ego that you trust, as if it is yourself. 'You', who think you are the ego, do NOT want to wake up, because the ego doesn't, and cannot.
This is basically the issue of what you are experiencing on 'level 1', which is the ego's level. Your identification WITH everything happening on level 1 ie ego thought system, attaches you to it. If you want to get OUT of the ego's thought system, and get to level 2 (Holy Spirit), it is going to be IMPOSSIBLE for you to make any lasting progress unless you are willing to LET GO OF THE EGO. Transforming the ego will not work because it cannot be turned into holiness. Leaping high in the air trying to grab the fruits of truth will only gravitate you crashing back to the ground again. The ego can't come with you to heaven.
So to really make progress here, you are going to have to realize, at some point, you have to stop all of your efforts to make your ego-identified self be spiritual. You, who YOU REALLY are, is already capable of 'being spiritual' IF you will attach to the Holy Spirit. You only need to let go of the ego's 'hand' and hold the Holy Spirit's 'hand', and hey-presto, you will SHARE the thought system of spirituality. You will enter into it. You will experience it. And your sharing of it will identify you with it and make it yours - not exclusively yours but still yours.
In essence you 'need do nothing' in order to qualify for entry to the 'spiritual universe'. YOU, who you really are, cannot change, because YOU are immortal spirit. You, as immortal spirit, have gotten lost in thinking you and the ego are the same self. That is all. You only need to be willing to SURRENDER the ego, let go of the ego, dis-identify from the ego, drop the ego, stop believing you are the ego, and remember who you really are (in Holy Spirit's mind), and you're done. All you're doing is getting divorced from the ego and marrying Holy Spirit, and along with that your whole sense of 'self' will change, away from the confusion of 'I am a separate ego' to 'I am shared immortal holy spirit'.
So really, YOU do not change at all. You just leave and surrender a mind that you thought was you, realizing YOU continue on without it and that you are NOT it, and enter into (return to) a mind based on God's mind where you have a whole different identity to associate with. This has little to do with who or what you 'are', and more to do with 'who you are with'. When you are with the ego, you think you're it. When you're with God, you tune into your real identity as His Creation.
You are free to leave the ego at any time. Nothing is keeping you in it but your decision to stay. There is another option and the ego is not your Self.