You'll defend something to the death if you think it's true. Your effort to be "right" about it is a combination of something that you believe is true combined with a sense of certainty. The power of conviction is not wrong, it is just misplaced onto something false. It's okay to acknowledge that your mind is powerful, it's just that it is 'mis-creating'.

If you are believing something is true which is actually false, and you are really adamant about it, it's going to take some 'undoing' to reverse this sense of conviction. You've probably built up a lot of "story" that explains, justified, rationalizes and establishes "why" this is true.

The more evidence you have gathered and the more you've "proven" it to yourself and talked yourself and others into it, the more volume of material is going to need to be undone. Those who are really extremely convinced of a lie are heavily "conditioned" by all of this psychological support, which may have come from culture or where you live or the kinds of people around you or your upbringing or experiences you had etc.

You'll need to look at what, in your belief system, 'supports' this truth. Look at all the scaffolding you've erected around it, all the supporting ideas and background information, the opinions of others, sources of authority that you believe in that support this truth, experiences you had which led you to be even more convinced this is true, affirmations that you make about its righteousness, ways you spin stories about it which back it up and regurgitate and reinforce it, how you defend it against other truth which seems to not be in accord with it, etc. All of these things add "weight" to this sense of it being real and valuable and correct.

It's not a problem to be correct. It's okay to be correct when you ARE correct. It's okay to be correct about Holy Spirit's truth which IS correct, and a correction of all else. But when you are correct about something that is an error or mistake or faulty conclusion or something based on dishonesty, it's going to present problems for you. You don't REALLY want to be right about how you need to suffer and die, for the sake of some "truth" that the ego has convinced you of, do you?

So as you pull apart your thought system you'll need to realize you've got all this support built up that defends this belief/truth and that all of that needs to be examined with Holy Spirit's light. It needs to be seen from a vantage point of a greater truth, otherwise you cannot recognize the falseness of it. You need to get outside of it and look in from a wider perspective.

For example, let's say you believe that you're in mortal danger because some body part seems to be failing and all the doctors said it's seriously bad and all your family members are showering you with sympathy and all you coworkers are retelling their own stories of woe and you've got yourself all worked up and terrified. Well, now this means that not only do you believe in sickness and so on but you also believe what your family and neighbors and coworkers are all telling you is the truth as well. And maybe you also "taught yourself" that all the doctors are well-trained and totally know what they're talking about, and that you don't dare question their authority. And maybe you yourself have justified to yourself why you need to be sick because it proves how guilty you are about something. All of these attitudes and opinions support keeping the problem real and true for you. You must be willing to question whether ANY of these supports are true.

What if absolutely everyone involved is telling you a lie, to show you what YOU believe that's a lie, and that you need to change your mind about what YOU think is true, so that they will stop telling you you're sure to die? Where is the empowerment and strength in listening to the voice for death? Where is the empowerment in not taking back responsibility for choosing to believe something that is grossly mistaken? You have to dismantle all of the lies that support the main lie in order for the main lie to be recognized as holding no ground. That it has no support. That it can't be justified. That it doesn't have any proof. And thus that you can't believe it. While you think lies are believable, you are stuck. The ego is literally unbelievable.

"Miracles are a universal blessing from God through me to all my brothers."

This describes the whole miracle-working system.

All power is of God. God is therefore the source of miracles.

"Miracles mean life, and God is the giver of life."

God is the one who actually blesses by giving/supplying life.

"There is no love but God's". "Miracles are expressions of love." Therefore God is the one supplying the love.

He blesses you, but he also blesses THROUGH you. The power that is in you, the power to work miracles, is God's.

"The power of God, and not of you, engenders miracles. The miracle itself is but the witness that you have the power of God in you."

So here's how it's set up. God created you, giving Himself to you. You are host to God. God's LIFE is in you. His power is in you.

"To recognize that all power is of God is to gain all power."

The power of God in you is your inheritance from God. His will is in you. You share his mind.

So God gives YOU the life/light/miracle, and then you PASS IT ON to your brothers. You share it and extend it. This is the fundamental setup.

You, as a miracle worker, in a state of truer perception, a loving perception, allow God's love to flow through you, to others.

You give the miracles you receive.

"Prayer is the medium of miracles. Through prayer love is received, through miracles love is expressed."

So basically you openly commune with God, within your being, and recognize and open to His presence IN you, but what is IN you is given to you FOR you AND FOR your brother. So it must pass THROUGH you to others. And thus you become a miracle worker.

"Miracles are the maximal service you can render another."

So when you are fully EXTENDING, passing on, what you are receiving from God, you are working miracles.

It is God's power that works through you.

And WHO or what is the mechanism by which miracles occur? It's the Holy Spirit.

"The Holy Spirit is the ONLY therapist."

"The Holy Spirit is the mechanism of miracles."

"The human therapist can only LET HIM FULFILL HIS FUNCTION. He needs no help for this. He WILL tell you EXACTLY what to do, to help ANYONE He sends to you FOR help, and will speak to him through you, IF YOU DO NOT INTERFERE."

Essentially, you are like a MEDIUM or channel. You are to allow the Holy Spirit to operate through you. Similarly Jesus is involved in this:

"You will see miracles through your hands through mine."

Which again means you HOST Jesus and allow him to work THROUGH your hands.

Love must be received from God, as a blessing for you, and then you must pass it on for others. Doing so works miracles. The power of God can move through you to move mountains, literally, and to raise the dead.

"What the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly not of this world."

"There is nothing my holiness cannot do."

Receive from God, give to others.

Receive from God, supply to others.

To do this you have to be purified yourself, so that you become a conduit for love, and WILLING and ABLE to express love, so that you can EXTEND the love of God that is in you.

You have to become the light of the world, in order to allow God's light, which is yours, to shine THROUGH you, to illuminate the minds of others.

Miracle working thus is basically just a matter of letting the Holy Spirit operate through you, allowing Gods power to flow through you, and to extend their love and power to your brothers to help them.

This is why miracle working isn't just about you receiving miracles, or you shifting perception. It's about you fulfilling your function in the MACHINERY that God has set up. He has already provided the power and the healing, YOUR ROLE or function is to extend and express it.

This parallels the way that you are a co-creator with God in heaven. God creates you and puts the power and light in you, you USE IT to extend His will and thus co-create with him. You share His love with everyone else. Just as miracles are a form of sharing.

"Miracles unite you with your brother."

Operating in holy relationship with others thus produces miracles naturally because you are functioning the way you were intended to, as a relay station for God's love.

As you become more aware that you are doing everything to yourself, and you gradually learn to take responsibility for everything you are experiencing, at some point you'll start noticing more and more that you keep attacking yourself.

Whereas before you noticed perhaps when you were attacking other people, and were thinking that this had no effect on you, and somewhat learned to forgive them and see their innocence, now the focus shifts a bit more directly to yourself.

"My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability" takes on a more obvious meaning. You literally keep attacking your own self.

The way these attacks happen is through moments of fear and guilt.

I'll be in the middle of some form of questioning, or self doubt, or worrying about something, and Jesus will poke me... ."Paul".... and then I know that means, I'm making some mistake here. So then I stop and just look at what I'm doing.... and usually it'll be sort of obvious that I'm either in fear, or I'm in guilt. Those are the two main ones.

Often though it's not so obvious what mistake I'm making. Sometimes I have to open up and try to figure it out, especially if I'm far into it. It can be quite confusing and obscure. Fear is not always obvious in its many many forms.

In general, I undermine myself all the time. So what I've become aware of is that, just as the Course says, I keep doing stuff to myself. I keep having attack thoughts and mistaken perceptions which *directly* work against myself.

So its kind of weird when you realize this, that you actually are at war with yourself. You keep on believing, thinking, perceiving, feeling and doing stuff that undermines you, thwarts you, detracts from your confidence, makes you feel unworthy, doesn't give yourself credit, diminishes your value and all kinds of other stuff.

So now it's sort of a cleanup job. You have to realize all the ways that you keep being AGAINST YOURSELF. At the very least, you have to realize you are against yourself, at all.

This being against yourself was completely covered up in a state of denial, when you were more involved with projecting onto others. And that projection really strongly distracted you from *recognizing* that you were attacking yourself. It convinced you that it was always other people who you needed to attack, who were receiving the effects of your attacks, and who this was all about. Once enough of that projecting is undone and you learn to do it less, it suddenly becomes apparent that it's actually not them that you've been attacking, its YOU.

So now you have to deal with yourself. But this is kind of interesting now, because it means that you now know you're really dealing with YOURSELF, not other enemies. You are your ONLY enemy. And there is a lot of hope in that, because it means that you are more aware that you have an opportunity. Since your enemy is yourself, you recognize that if you simply stop attacking yourself, and learn to recognize the ways that you do attack yourself, then there is basically NOTHING STOPPING YOU from becoming a far more capable, empowered, aware, happy person. There is nobody else and nothing else to influence you to stop you once you're on this fast-track to your true self.

So now the challenge for me and you, is recognizing more often and more clearly, when we are attacking ourselves, and learning what that attack comprises - is it fear, is it guilt, is it unlove - and CHOOSING AGAIN and learning not to do that to ourselves. As we do this we will grow in confidence and certainty and love and happiness, on our way home to God.

"The body cannot create, and the belief that it can, a fundamental error, produces all physical symptoms. Physical illness represents a belief in magic"

Interesting huh. Jesus isn't saying that some illnesses are caused by a belief in the body having the power to create sickness. He is saying that ALL sicknesses of all kinds are produced by believing that the physical level of 'existence' has CAUSAL POWER over your mind.

Essentially, MAGIC, is the belief that something separate from the mind has power to cause the mind. This is the same as being a victim. It's the same as believing things outside of you do things to you. It's the same as the belief that your brother does something to hurt you and that you then demonstrate this is true by showing harm in your body. That is magical. It's a fantasy about how a 'special power' has come along and produced an 'effect' WITHOUT the mind being involved and WITHOUT YOU CAUSING IT.

The reversal of cause and effect is a gross "confusion of the levels". Confusing mind with body. But moreso, confusing the fact that mind is the creator/dreamer with the body which is the created/dream. Such confusion produces 'magical' explanations for why things happen - they don't seem to happen just because YOU had anything to do with it, they seem to happen through some kind of magical mysterious unexplainable 'something' that happens entirely outside your awareness.

Let's reiterate - ALL SICKNESS is caused by a belief in magic. A BELIEF IN magic. That means, every single time we see ourselves as a victim, every time we are irresponsible for our causal power, every time we are disempowered by ourselves, every time we are 'confused' about WHERE THE CAUSE IS (in our mind - GOD is the ultimate cause), that's when sickness is generated.

Sickness then is an attempt to mis-create by using creation against God. It's where we turn around and instead of extending God, we go AGAINST God. We attempt to block God, stop God, attack God, attack the mind, and prevent Him from being the Cause. That produces every physical, emotional or mental illness. ALL of them. Every sickness on the entire planet in the history of mankind AND all animals and creatures AND even that of the earth and air and water and whatever else... *every* form of sickness in the universe, is caused by this 'level confusion'.

We are looking at a 'creation' - the body - the world - and we are attempting to believe that IT has the power to create, to make things happen, that it has its own alien will, and that it can do things to you ON ITS OWN. That is magic. That will result in sickness.

But even moreso, what we're doing here is, we're trying to deny that God is the cause of all creation. It's not just about 'the cause is in my mind'. God is in your mind, or rather, your mind is IN GOD. When we try to deny that God is the Father, that God is the CAUSE or source of everything real, that produces sickness. We are sick because we're blocking the extension of eternal life (creation). We are sick because we don't want love. We are sick because we believe we are separate from God. We are sick because we don't want to love other people unconditionally. When God is not the cause, we're actually saying, the body/world/ego/separation IS GOD. And we worship it. And all its forms. We replace God with the world, and that means we will be sick.

Put God first!

In the manual for teachers, there's a section called "Does Jesus have a Special Place in Healing". In this section, it actually talks about how Jesus CAN BE involved in healing. ie miracle working. Which ties in nicely with Jesus telling us "You will see miracles through your hands through me."

Essentially it is saying that Jesus has gone all the way to Heaven, and we should be thankful to Him for achieving this for and with us. And also that he has UNLIMITED POWER, and that He is still with us, and that we should turn to Him for help. It also speaks of how you should call upon or pray in his name, ie "In the name of Jesus Christ", in gratitude to Him and God, as part of healing. That by doing so you are calling upon the power of God.

This is why if you are to LITERALLY lay your hands on people and have Jesus perform "miracles through your hands" through Him, it is because He is currently MORE CAPABLE than you are of performing healing, and calling up on Him to do so is how you can perform miracles for others.

Here's some pertinent parts of what it says:

"Even the most advanced of God's teachers will give way to temptation in this world. Would it be fair if their pupils were denied healing because of this?"

"The Bible says, "Ask in the name of Jesus Christ.""

"What does it mean to call on Jesus Christ? What does calling on his name confer? Why is the appeal to him part of healing?"

"We have repeatedly said that one who has perfectly accepted the Atonement for himself can heal the world."

"He has become the risen Son of God. He has overcome death because he has accepted life."

"There is now no limit on his power, because it is the power of God. So has his name become the Name of God, for he no longer sees himself as separate from Him."

"It means that in remembering Jesus you are remembering God."

"his completed learning guarantees your own success."

"Is he still available for help? What did he say about this? Remember his promises, and ask yourself honestly whether it is likely that he will fail to keep them."

"Who transcends the body has transcended limitation. Would the greatest teacher be unavailable to those who follow him?"

"The name of Jesus Christ as such is but a symbol. But it stands for love that is not of this world. It is a symbol that is safely used as a replacement for the many names of all the gods to which you pray."

"It becomes the shining symbol for the Word of God, so close to what it stands for that the little space between the two is lost, the moment that the name is called to mind. Remembering the name of Jesus Christ is to give thanks for all the gifts that God has given you."

"Jesus has led the way. Why would you not be grateful to him?"

"He has remained with you."

"Would you not learn the lesson of salvation through his learning? Why would you choose to start again, when he has made the journey for you?"

"No one on earth can grasp what Heaven is, or what its one Creator really means. Yet we have witnesses. It is to them that wisdom should appeal."

"No one who has become a true and dedicated teacher of God forgets his brothers."

"Then turn to one who laid all limits by, and went beyond the farthest reach of learning. He will take you with him, for he did not go alone."

"Would God leave anyone without a very present help in time of trouble; a savior who can symbolize Himself?"

"Jesus has come to answer yours. In him you find God's Answer. Do you, then, teach with him, for he is with you; he is always here."

Consider the idea of a script for your life which you fully planned, consented to, and passionately wanted, before you came into this lifetime. Imagine that you organized and orchestrated every single interaction. You created agreements with every single person you would ever meet and you asked them to do to you every single thing they were to do, with which they would comply. Imagine also that only what you planned would happen and nothing else would happen - except you would also forget that you planned it.

ACIM does speak to this, in that it says that nothing happens to you that you have not asked for, and that you get *everything* you ask for, and that you get *nothing* that you did not ask for. It also speaks to this when it says that nobody dies without his own consent. NOBODY DIES WITHOUT THEIR OWN CONSENT.

At some point, somewhere, whether it's in this life or before this life, but somewhere, for ACIM to be TRUE on this matter, you ****MUST**** have consented to every single thing that has ever happened in your life. ABSOLUTELY ALL OF IT. Not only consented to it but created it, asked for it, wanted it, designed it and even set it in motion YOURSELF. Not by any outside force or coercion or ANY amount of victimhood whatsoever. (this is somewhat described in the "song of prayer" pamphlet as well)

Remember the Course also says the key to salvation is this - that you are but doing this to yourself.

IF the Course is telling the truth (and it is), then everything that has ever happened in 'your life' has been exactly designed by and asked for by you. All of it. So this takes quite a lot of 'fessing up', which also means your life must become totally void of victimhood.

If you look now, and you look back at some things that you recognize as having 'happened' in your life, particularly events which involved people where they seemed to influence you in ANY way, and in particular in what *looked like* any kind of negative way, then you need to now reinterpret that. If you can allow yourself to ACCEPT that you planned and asked for every single detail of what occurred, then a few insights must arise:

1) You have to realize there was a REASON WHY you planned what you did, and that reason was FOR YOUR GOOD. Every single thing that you designed must have been for an intended purpose of, ultimately, leading you to a spiritual awakening. Every single 'lesson' or scenario that you put together, MUST have been intended to HELP YOU in some way.

2) With the information that all events are helpful, this must then shed a new light on all of these tragic past experiences, to show you that SOMEHOW, whatever happened, and no matter how it looked at the time, somehow that event and that person were ONLY doing what was in your script and they performed it perfectly. Therefore they weren't REALLY a victimizer. And you weren't REALLY a victim. At the time, yes, you believed you were, but here's the thing. You only believe you are a victim when you are UNAWARE that you are a script-writer.

3) This now gives rise to the insight that every way you've experienced being a victim in the past, was a result of a lack of awareness on your part, in which you experienced something designed to HELP YOU but interpreted it initially as HURTING YOU. This symbolically is the same thing as being loved by God but believing that you're actually being attacked by God. Ie it seemed against you rather than for you. So all of the ways that you STILL hold onto past events with a grievance, thinking of them as 'wrong' or 'unwanted' or 'bad' or 'unpleasant' or whatever, blaming the other person, all of that INTERPRETATION of events came about ONLY because you did not remember that you wrote the script. It looked like you didn't ask for what happened, which, IF it were true, WOULD justify your anger and hurt and offense. And that means, you need to to be more truly forgiving, ultimately accepting the atonement.

4) This now helps you to see that, ultimately, everyone involved is INNOCENT, because nobody has done anything outside of the contract and nobody ELSE is responsible for having done anything TO YOU against your will. Your will is embedded in your script which YOU WROTE, so even if you now find yourself unaware of this and experiencing victimhood, YOU DID STILL WRITE IT. So you can hardly blame the other person. So now you need to go look at all the unhealed grievances that you still haven't let go of, and which you still interpret in a victim consciousness that says "I didn't want this to happen", "this wasn't fair", "they did it to me against my will" etc.... you HAVE to reinterpret that.

5) This now leads us to TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. This might seem like a step which places a shitload of guilt on your shoulders, blaming yourself for what happened, bla bla bla. That's ego. What it really means is actually a doorway to FREEDOM and RELIEF. You see, if you scripted all this, and you asked xyz person to do what they did, and you can admit that and own that fact, then you can let them off the hook. You can realize they did not victimize you. YOU victimized you. You hired them to carry out your wishes. If you are responsible for writing your script (and maybe you had help on the other side to do this gently/realistically etc), then you can no longer blame anyone else for what happens, in the past or in the future. It also means you can no longer view experiences as unwanted, bad, against you, unhelpful, hurtful, something to resist, as an attack, or any other form of victimization. That means, yes, whatever they did, whatever happened, you wanted it and got what you wanted, FOR A REASON, to HELP YOU to wake up.

6) Having now admitted to this responsibility, and started to access the sense of RELIEF and freedom that this gives you... because dropping the whole victim drama is a RELIEF from suffering, you can now enter into GRATITUDE. You cannot be grateful to an attacker while you think you didn't ask them to attack you. But you can be grateful to them when you realize you DID ask them to AND you can turn your mind to look at the situation as helpful/for you. It's like looking for the silver linings. What's happening is NOT a terrible tragedy or a horrible event gone wrong. That's illusion. What's happening is trying to help you to be steered in the right direction or to keep you safe or to help you learn who you are or to guide you to remembering whats true or to learn to love and care etc.. whatever the purposes are in your plan for spiritual "growth."

7) Finally then you have to learn to change the 'direction' or angle from which you look at events. If you're responsible and everything is for your good, then you need to learn to 'take it' that way. Look for the helpfulness. Look for how it is 'positive'. Look for the silver lining, the learning, the opportunity its giving you. Look at how it is making you grow or what you're learning from it. Ultimately then there is only one LESSON, in the form of all lessons. And it's this. You need to overcome the NEED for the lesson by recognizing the truth, owning up to the responsibility of who you really are (owning your innocence), entering into the mindset of the Holy Spirit which shows you that you are never a victim, and reclaiming your FREEDOM from the dramas of the ego. Ultimately this translates to you OVERLOOKING (forgiveness) all of the ways that you get LOST in the 'game' that you set up, so that you literally are no longer CAPABLE of playing the game. Once the truth is revealed, you can never forget it. And so you no longer need to create these dramas ever again.

Remember, nothing happens to you against your will. There are no accidents. Nothing happens that wasn't planned at some point in time BY YOU. Nothing is being forced upon you against your will.

You might find yourself 'inside a lesson' in this lifetime and feeling stuck in it, victmized by it, limited by it. But you might not also remember the benefits of this situation. Maybe it has indirect effects on the spiritual growth of other people. Maybe by suffering a sickness you HELP other people to learn compassion. Maybe by being afraid you give others an opportunity to learn to nurture. We're all this big soup of roleplay and side-effects and responses.

Also let's just finish by saying you're not stuck with a lesson. Holy Spirit WANTS you to learn the lesson. The answer to it is not being hidden from you. Often Holy Spirit tells me, in the midst of some frustration and confusion, "its a lesson". So them I'm like.. hmm... what is this lesson, what am I meant to learn? And it's not like Holy Spirit is withholding the answer, but I need to experientially becoming willing to accept some measure of truth in order to complete the need for the situation. The lesson may not be obvious.

In fact a recent lesson for me was to learn to DROP the idea of miraculously healing a problem with my eye, so that i would let go of false ideas about control and spiritualization of my ego, even though this outcome seemed at the time to be totally the opposite of what I thought I needed to do. Holy Spirit eventually revealed, when I was at the readiness to admit to it, that the whole point was to help me to 'see' the truth - that I was trying to do/be something beyond what is asked of me.

Also I can't begin to tell you how much I have learned compassion and a heart-opening as a result of various challenges that a person close to me has been through. For which I'm grateful, even though it sounds 'sick' to say you're grateful for sickness.

Holy Spirit said to me, "there is a plan". I'm learning to trust that more. And thus learning to take responsibility for my part in that plan, and thus relinquishing all of the support for victim mentality and blame. Even now as I start to look back at past events in 'this new light' I can see that I need to become grateful to people that I thought were against me or who I thought did the wrong thing. They were only helping and they only DID help. I just didn't recognize it.

Ultimately you want to get to where you have no more need for writing scripts, having learned everything they offer. Then you are free from the cycle of reincarnation forever.

When I am upset, feeling unhappy, having a cry, feeling guilty or afraid, or whatever, Holy Spirit is gentle and compassionate. He often says, "I know". Sometimes I feel a hand on my shoulder from Him or Jesus.

They are compassionate in that they know that *I* believe I am experiencing something upsetting, that *I* feel sad or whatever. They are there for me, and they don't judge it. They don't even use the opportunity to push me towards some kind of forgiveness or greater awareness. They just hold me and hug me.

However, the fact is that all upset feelings come from a mis-perception that I chose. And I chose that mis-perception so that I could further my separation from God.

So for example, I might feel upset because I saw myself victimized by someone. I might feel sad about how someone rejected me or whatever. And those feelings seem genuine, it seems like I really feel this way and that it's very sad and unfortunate. But, once I'm done with feeling, at some point I need to find the willingness to move beyond this.

I've witnessed how, in particular, when old hurts come up from the past, to be healed, they always feel like how it felt at the time. They're always based on how I was perceiving when I was younger and less aware. Even though at the time I did not understand what was going on, or what it meant, how it made me feel at the time based on that perception is now the feeling that I need to work through and release. But I've also seen how obvious it is, that these feelings were just how I felt 'within' the framework of a certain way of looking at life, and there is usually some kind of mistake in that.

I saw myself as hurt because I didn't perceive correctly. I saw myself as unloved because I didn't recognize my infinite lovability. I saw myself as unworthy because I devalued myself sort of 'by accident' because I didn't know what i was doing. And so I created feelings of unworthy and unlove and so on, which I must 'heal' and release, but even though these feelings seem like they reflected some kind of 'truth', they're not really the ultimate truth.

I need to become willing to admit that, once I've allowed myself to feel and release the 'energy' produced by a false perception, that the perception ITSELF was faulty. And it was the fault perception that LED to faulty feelings. Unhappy feelings come from unhappy perceptions. So I need to now be willing to see differently, to look for a greater truth, to own up to the part that I played in choosing to suffer, to take back my power, to claim responsibility for doing this to myself, and to realize that nobody involved was doing it without my will.

So there is a 'forgiveness' process that needs to occur, above and beyond unhappy feelings, to correct the perception that led to them. And even though Holy Spirit knows this, he seldom prompts or forces me to 'go there' especially not right when I'm feeling how the feelings felt. I let myself fully feel because this releases the energy, even though it's a FALSE energy, to clear it out. To cathart it. THEN my mind is clearer and can have a cognitive shift, as well as being more willing and able to now apply a 'forgiveness' to change my perception.

It's important to let yourself feel and let out the trapped negative emotions, but recognize also that they are only there because of a mistaken way of looking at life, and that mistake needs to be corrected at some point. When you are ready. And not before. And nobody is pushing you or forcing you to have to do that, especially not when you're in the middle of a deep release. Trying to rush someone out of feeling into truth isn't compassionate.

So it's possible to have compassion for someone who is feeling upset even if you know that their upset is false, and there really isn't a need to be upset. Holy Spirit knows that nothing has gone wrong and there is ONLY reason to celebrate, but to tell me that in the middle of me believing heavily that I've been wronged, isn't entirely helpful because I can't hear it until I'm ready and willing. We really believe we've done something terrible to God and deserve to be punished for it, and as we work through those feelings, Holy Spirit is very patient to give you time to 'process' the consequences of a mistaken decision. And then at some point, when you're ready, you will undo the belief that caused it.

What if everything that's happening in the world is exactly what is supposed to be happening, per everyone's agreement and decision? And there are no accidents or mistakes and nothing is going wrong? And I don't mean, that "bad things" aren't happening, just that they're not happening accidentally or without consent.

On the surface, the world looks like hell. And it's hard to consider that everything is happening according to agreement. But there's more to life than meets the eye.

What if everything that happens can only happen because you agree to it? What if you have to put some kind of contract in place which has to be agreed to by everyone involved, in order for anything to happen? What if everything that happens is completely deliberate, and every single event in the world is deliberately orchestrated and chosen by everyone, on purpose?

What could this purpose be, but to assist you in spiritual awakening?

Before you incarnate, you make agreements with people that they will help you with your spiritual growth by playing certain roles for you. You ask them to do this and they agree freely. A contract is made. The terms of the contract state exactly what the person is to do and that they are to do nothing else. They do not add to the workload or take away from it. They are to play their part faithfully.

This includes contracts that you make with your own ego. You chose, on purpose, to make your ego, so that it would function according to your design and your rules. You wanted it to do certain things for you, to adjust your perception in certain ways, to change your values and beliefs in certain ways, and to fulfill a purpose that you wanted. You wanted the ego to function as a loyal and trustworthy device that would enable you to go through various struggles so that you could awaken spiritually. This is its only purpose.

A lot is said about how the ego is devious and vicious and all of this, pointing the finger at it and making it out to be a horrible enemy. But what role are you playing in that scenario? You are the victim. And this is the lesson. Lessons are there for your benefit to help you to wake up. The ego can be seen as a device for facilitating what's needed in order to awaken, if you perceive it correctly and use it correctly.

A spiritual lesson occurs when there is some part of you which is asleep, or at least that believes it is. This part of you, you put to sleep in the first place. And now it seems to be unaware of some aspect of truth. In its unconsciousness, in certain situations and scenarios with certain people you will suffer and struggle because you do not see the truth. This part of you will act exactly according to how you designed it. The purpose of the lesson is awakening and the solution to the lesson is always to wake up to the truth.

All lessons point to the truth and the outcome of learning a lesson must always be that you come to see the metaphysics or structure or mechanism of the lesson clearly. To step out of the lesson, out of your unawareness into awareness, and out of lies into the truth.

The ego, just like your bodily ailments, just like your relationship woes, just like your enemies, just like your financial struggles, and everything else, is only a device acting under contract to fulfill what you told it to do. It can hardly be to blame for anything when you are the one that made it. And you made it with great intricacy and intelligence, and you could say that it is a beautiful creation. It does for you according to what you wanted it to do for you.

Jesus tells us in the Course not to play down the magnificence of your mind's creative power, or to tell yourself that you are stupid for having created a monster. You must acknowledge and access that your mind is a very powerful creator and that it has been used to create your ego. Regardless of whether the ego is real or not, it is still very impressive - this whole universe is very impressive. You made it.

Also recognize that every person that you encounter, no matter what they do, they are doing because it's part of a lesson in which you asked them, under contract, to come along and treat you this way. Even if they seem to be an enemy, someone that hates you or abuses you or attacks you or even tries to end your life, they are still under contract. There is a spiritual purpose. They are trying to help you. That sounds absurd doesn't it, at least to the unawakened mind. But everyone is in your life because they are playing the roles that you hired them to play. You asked for it. You wanted it.

You wanted it because you wanted to awaken back to God and you need their assistance. You need them to trigger you, to get you to engage with your own ego, to get you to look at your own beliefs, to get you to heal, to get you to learn to forgive, etc. These are valuable lessons. Even the person you hate the most is completely acting under contract with you in agreement with you and according to your will.

Even if you are engaging with them in such a way that it makes it seem you totally do not want them to do what they are doing. Your unwillingness to accept their help is actually the lesson you need to learn. You need to find a way to see them as helpful, as innocent, as serving your highest good, as servicing your spiritual growth, and as being loyal and faithful servants according to everything you wanted.

Initially, asleep, you will react to these contractors with resistance and rebellion, because in your ego state you won't see how they are helping you. And this is what you need to learn... So you need to then transition from your initial reaction, which is blindness and forgetfulness, to becoming aware of a bigger truth, a bigger picture, in which you can see clearly. In that clarity you come to realize how they are doing what you asked, how you are not a victim, how you wanted this, how you contracted it yourself, and how you have been dutifully served.

At some point, when your lesson has been learned, and you have come to recognize the truth, you will see all of the ways that a person who once was seen as your enemy was in fact your best friend trying to help you wake up. You will see clearly, without having to add anything to the situation, that it's actually true that you asked them to do what they did. You will also see clearly that everything they did helped you, that you grew from it, that you gained awakening from it. You will see how it benefited you in the bigger picture of your life.

At this point, with clarity and truth and recognition and having therefore transcended the lesson, you will be perfectly poised to enter into genuine gratitude. This does not mean artificially forced gratitude or people-pleasing gratitude or trying to be positive gratitude. It is a gratitude that involves an appreciation - an understanding - a recognition - of what has really happened. It's the ability to see. It's the ability to recognize that this person has served you selflessly and faithfully according to what you wanted and the only possible genuine response to that is genuine gratitude.

And so you will look at this person recognizing their innocence, because they obviously can't be to blame for doing to you what you asked them to do to you. And you will see their help as welcome. And you will recognize the great benefit it has given you. And you wI'll appreciate their help. And in this moment there is a kind of reverence and sacredness or recognition. It's like the two of you will bow before each other, the fight is over, and you are both in full acknowledgement of a job well done. Services rendered. Contract completed to perfection. No loose ends, no resentments, no ties, no desire to get rid of the person or end their involvement prematurely, no grief or sense of loss of harm, just total appreciation.

And then it's as if you both bow in divine brotherhood and see each other as being absolutely the best of friends and for each other, and set each other free. And it is in this moment of freedom and love that you are finally set free of the contract. This is the only way that you can complete a lesson and be free of a contract. This is what al lessons are leading to - a recognition of your freedom and innocence and truth and equality with all your brothers. No victims. No enemies.

So with any problem you have, be it a person or a body sickness or a financial struggle or a noisy neighbor or whatever it is, while you see the problem as unnecessary, unwanted, uncalled for, inappropriate, unjustified, un-asked-for, or in any way happening outside of your will, you will be lost in the ego. And you will therefore be in the midst of a lesson and will need to learn a thing or two about the truth. You can fight with your helpers all you want, that won't help. You can struggle with your contractors, that won't help. You can try to get rid of the problem, that won't help either. You got what you asked for and nothing else. You put this thing into place, on your own, and nobody put it there for you. So at least admit to that and stop attacking what you made.

So how to do you find freedom when you're in a lesson? Forgiveness. Undoing the ego perspectives. Shifting your perception away from attack and toward welcome. Shifting your way of looking at things as happening for you, not to you. Using it as an opportunity to be triggered so that you can look at and heal what you do not want to look at. Allowing the problem to attack you so that you can see how you believe you are attackable, so that you can learn not to attack. Ultimately the purpose is for you to sort out what is really true from what is apparently false and to receive love in everything that happens.

So if you can shift your viewpoint this way and learn your lesson, you will find that you are in a moment of mutual recognition with the thing you made - the contract you created - the person you hired - the sickness you put in place - the lack you chose etc... where you can acknowledge full responsibility for what has occurred, claim the full benefits of the lesson, recognize the innocence and compliance of everyone involved, and set both you and that problem free in a moment of gratitude and welcome.

What you made cannot leave your presence until you can set it free in gratitude and recognition. Any measure of seeing it as your enemy or unwanted attaches you to it and keeps it hounding you, because then you have not learned your lesson. If you want to be free of something, you have to see how you made it yourself and why you wanted it and what you gained from it. What are the benefits? How did it serve you? Where is the silver lining? What function did you give to it? It's simply a matter of whether you truly want to continue with the need for the functionality of this self-made device or not.

And if your ultimate, very long-term goal is to awaken to God's love, then you'll be perfectly happy to keep your devices and not get rid of them, simply because you know that you still need them until you can learn your lesson. Your priority above all else is to learn to awakening to the truth, to return to God, which is more valuable to you and important to you than anything else. So given that, why would you want to keep getting rid of the very lessons that are helping you to wake up? Not that you must suffer... only if it helps you awakening and only for so long as is needed to learn the lesson. You need not suffer at all.

"What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? (W-135.13)" - ACIM

It's all for the best.

But this is going to require that you come to accept and live from a very simple truth, which is somewhat 'secret' for most people: the secret to salvation is that you are doing this to yourself.

What this means and implies, is that every single thing that seems to happen here, is completely deliberately chosen by whoever is involved. Not only that, but whatever each person is experiencing, that person has to be deliberately creating that experience within themselves, "doing it to themselves". We are creators, not perceivers.

In this model, it is absolutely impossible to experience anything that you did not choose and ask for AND implement yourself.

Literally, nothing can happen to you against your will. You cannot be harmed. Nobody can change you. Nothing can affect you.

So if you're having some kind of emotional upset, it HAS to mean that you actually are generating that emotional upset yourself, regardless of what the situation is.

It also has to mean that there are absolutely no victims and that victimhood is absolutely impossible. Nobody can be a victim if everyone is 100% choosing what happens, and if nothing unchosen can happen.

You literally get exactly what you ask for, you get ONLY what you ask for, and you do not get anything else. Not that you even 'get' it, because in truth, you CREATE it.

You are 100% responsible.

This of course flies in the face of the ego which is a thought system based on the complete opposite to this reality, which suggests things happen outside your control, that you didn't ask for, life goes off the rails, bad things happen for no good reason, people get victimized, there is unfairness, there is mis-treatment that people don't want, there is undesired suffering, woe is me, and life just generally sucks. That's all ego perspectives based on irresponsibility and blame and shifting of WHO is making the decisions here.

So you may be wondering, how immortality is possible. Well it is only possible if you can accept that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING can happen without your say-so. "Nobody dies without their own consent", Jesus says. It seems a tall claim, but it is truth. Jesus says so and Jesus is the man ;-)

So what this means is, the idea of 'stuff happens that I can do nothing about' is a FICTION, not a fact. It means the idea of victimhood is actually an ILLUSION, not a reality. It means that the idea of being hurt against your will, or having sickness show up in your body without choosing it, or being incapable of doing anything about what happens, is all MADE UP LIES. It is very poor discernment, very poor judgement, unconsciousness, lack of awareness, inability to see the whole picture, dishonesty, and an unwillingness to accept the truth, that leads to this MYTH that things happen to people against their will.

It's not that you need to find a way to be invulnerable against things that happen randomly that you can't control. That's not invulnerability. It's not that you need to become protected from serious dangers through some kind of superhero shield, which is also not invulnerability. It's simply that all of the things that we all believe have this "power to hurt", DO NOT EXIST, and even the illusion of them existing is something we are PRETENDING is happening.

We are invulnerable because there is no ego. We are invulnerable because it is not possible to be hurt. We are invulnerable because victimhood is completely illusory. We are invulnerable because suffering is not reality. We are invulnerable because we are putting in place absolutely everything we are experiencing, and can STOP THAT, and thereby be free of who exactly IS the culprit.

Because this really boils down to, WHO is responsible for making shit happen. WHO is it that has this power to pull the strings and make stuff manifest and cause events and effects. When you believe incorrectly that it is other people, random events, nature, groups, animals, viruses, whatever fake causes, you are greatly MISTAKEN. And in that mistakenness you are actually using your POWER to create illusions of powerlessness, you are using your 100% choice to choose to make an illusion of not having a choice, you are using your total freedom to pretend to be imprisoned, you are using your invulnerability to pretend that you are vulnerable, and you are basically weaving ILLUSIONS that you are not THE ONE WHO IS DOING IT.

Game is up. It's you. We all know it. Admit it. Caught you red handed playing dead.

This is why the dead can be raised, because the person who appears as dead is PRETENDING TO BE DEAD. And they need to snap out of this illusion-making and come back to reality and demonstrate the truth that it is not possible to die.

Death is pretend, death is reversible.

That's how invulnerable you really are. But if you are not AWARE of your responsibility, if you have not OWNED your power, if you not become very honest about who does what to whom, and if you have not seen the secret activities of your mind where you attack yourself and pretend that you don't, which creates the myth that other people have power over you, then you will SEEM to suffer (even though you can't). That's how you disguise yourself in a costume of despair when all the while, underneath it, you are totally joyful.

Nice try.