Let's talk a bit about this notion that all you have to do is transcend "what's happening" in order to be at peace.
The major assumption here is that stuff is happening "on its own". The world is ticking over, events are occurring out of nowhere, no-one is necessarily responsible for making anything happen, attack thoughts pop into the mind seemingly out of nowhere, shit just happens, suffering happens, sickness happens, death happens. Seemingly all on its own with no input from you. So then you try to escape it.
This assumption is only possible if you perceive yourself as having NOTHING whatsoever to do with "causing" the world to be this way, causing sickness, causing suffering or death. The viewpoint is one of total powerlessness, in which the world seems to be the CAUSE OF YOU, the dream decides your fate, things happen to you against your will, and you are entirely at the effect of the world. It's a position of victimhood.
But this for everyone is usually the kind of mindset that you start out with, in the ego, identified with a limited body, perceiving the world as a huge objective reality that does stuff on its own. And then you come to the course and start trying to digest its teachings WITHIN that kind of viewpoint without questioning it. Without questioning the assumption that the world is running on autopilot, or that the body gets sick because of outside influences, or that death will "happen to you" when it decides to.
Finding yourself in a world that's attacking you (causing you, making you affected), you seek for SALVATION or ESCAPE, and you think that you will find it by some kind of AVOIDANCE of what's happening. That if you could crawl into a hole and hide and get away from the causes, you would find some kind of peace. This is entirely an ego strategy. It keeps the attacking world real, maintains external causes, and keeps you at the effect of everything, but then persuades you that if you will step back and sit on the fence just enough maybe you'll be beyond the reach of its influence. That it's totally normal for a hideous disease to be ripping the body apart so long as you're smiling, or that somehow it's natural to still get angry but "observe" the anger from a detached viewpoint. Split mind anyone?
This leads many people along the EGO path of seeking for salvation by some kind of "transcending" of what is happening. That is, firmly believing that what happens is entirely permanently outside your control, you have no power over it, it will STILL continue to do what it does, and there is nothing you can really to do STOP IT. And that therefore your only solution is to "change your mind about it" or try to "see it in a different way" so that, perhaps, you can WELCOME IT, or not interpret it as an attack, or position yourself beyond it somehow.
And so then the entire effort to progress spiritually becomes about a kind of withdrawal from the world, an attempt to transcend it, an attempt to bypass it, an attempt to KEEP THE WORLD functioning the way it does, keep the attacks, keep the wars, keep the sickness, keep the suffering, and keep the death, but find some way to "be at peace with it". Or to be happy "in spite of it".
The thing is, there is SOME truth to this, because the world is in fact not real, it's a dream, and taking it seriously makes you unhappier. Believing in its illusions and temptations produces stress. Reacting to it increases suffering. etc. So you reason that you will find more peace if you will sort of calm yourself down, become tranquil, try not to be upset by it and thus reach some kind of peaceful state. While the world keeps being murderous against your will. And then along comes death, and what can you do to stop it? Hold up a peace sign? Throw some vitamin water at it?
What happens here is that people find a kind of escape from suffering through avoidance and "re-framing". It's perfectly legitimate to reframe the world because the world is a dream and not to be taken seriously. But at the same time, while people will take "causality" away from the world as if to say, you are no longer "at the effect of" the world, they still won't go so far as to OWN THE CAUSALITY. They won't admit to having power over the world, nor admit to DREAMING IT. It's like becoming a passive dreamer who is still unconscious of the fact that the world is coming from their own mind.
They see no purpose or power or ability to actually INFLUENCE it in any way. And this is a result of the ASSUMPTION that the state of major limitation you find yourself in is "normal" and natural. In this state there has been no transcendence of the order of difficulty in miracles. The hierarchy of illusions has not been dismantled or flattened. The power of the mind has not been admitted to or owned or mastered. Miracles are not being performed. Healing is missing. In effect, every way in which you would be THE CAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENS, is completely ignored.
So what happens is, we still believe the world is the cause of everything, the world still spins on its own, events still happen outside your control, people still attack, the environment still causes your body to be sick, the death still decides when your time is up. But supposedly you are happy and at peace. And yet you are powerless. Passive. An "observer". A fence-sitter. Sitting there on a cloud doing basically nothing to engage with the world, heal sickness, cast out death or overcome the LAWS that you made up to govern you.
If you are under no laws but God's, why are you pinned down by gravity? Why are you restricted by space and time? Why do you depend on air and food? Why when "sickness happens" do you not realise you PUT IT THERE? Why when death seems to loom are you not seeing that you HAVE POWER OVER SICKNESS AND DEATH BECAUSE YOU MADE THEM UP AND CAN ABOLISH THEM BOTH?
Being "not at the effect of the world" does NOT mean "I don't let the world affect me". It means YOU STOP HURTING YOURSELF. It means YOU take responsibility for CAUSING everything, and you choose to stop attacking yourself. It means you stop believing there even IS an outside cause or power or will or mind that can affect you against your will. It means you stop believing that the body EVER "gets sick" through any process other than YOUR MIND ATTACKING IT. And it also requires the recognition that even death has NO POWER OVER YOU, and therefore you DO NOT MAKE IT HAPPEN, and there is NO cause anywhere to make it happen against your will. Jesus: "SWEAR NOT TO DIE!"
This is the part of ACIM that so many poeple do not want to see or admit to or own up to. That the world is not simply "not causing you" to be upset, but that YOU ARE CAUSING IT. SOMEONE is responsible for EVERYTHING that happens. Nothing happens without a MIND CAUSING IT. The planet does not even EXIST without a mind dreaming it. Sickness does not happen unless a MIND decides to make sickness. Death does not occur unless some MIND CHOOSES to make death appear to happen.
It is not anywhere near enough to simply seek out being "at peace" in a kind of escape from "a real world that does stuff to me on its own". That is not mastery. That is not transcendence, it's avoidance. There is no power in that. It's a state of passivity and really not much different than laying down and allowing death to happen "on its own". Being not "affected by" something does not mean it still HAPPENS and you are "okay with it". You have to look at WHY does it even HAPPEN AT ALL? It happens because YOU are responsible for making it happen. That's a whole different ballgame.
It's not merely about what the world does and how you respond to it, it's about YOU ARE THE DREAMER WHO IS MAKING IT ALL HAPPEN. And therefore you can choose to NOT making it happen, or to undo anything you have made. It is a position of POWER. It is a position of being able to HEAL whatever occurs. It is a position of miracle working and supernatural power. It's not a state of contemplating your navel and becoming mostly peaceful then having the body "become sick and die" in a total display of victimhood.
You are to not be affected by the world. That does not mean the world still does stuff "on its own" to you against your will. It means realizing the world DOES NOT do stuff on its own, YOU DO IT, and then deciding to STOP DOING IT. So that the world CANNOT DO ANYTHING without your consent. Because you do it all to yourself. This is the secret of salvation. This is why there is no power or cause in the world capable of bringing oppression, making you suffer, sick, sad or afraid. The world is the EFFECT OF YOU. Which means you, in your unlimited nature, should be able to CHANGE IT any way you see fit. Because you are the dreamer.
It's also not enough to meditate and "watch thoughts come and go". WHO MAKES THE THOUGHTS? You do. Stopping making the thoughts is correcting the problem at its CAUSE, rather than allowing the thought-generation to continue and to then try to BYPASS it. That is not peace. A healed mind should not be GENERATING attack thoughts. There should be no need to "observe" thought processes, given that those troublesome thought processes should not even be HAPPENING in the first place. It's not your job to let attack thoughts keep occurring by try to sidestep or ignore them (actually a form of disassociation). It's your job to uproot those motherfuckers at their source and stop making them.
The course says not to seek to change the world, but to change your mind about the world. A lot of people SOTP THERE. But it goes on to say, that if you change your mind about the world, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CHANGE. Because your mind has the power to CHANGE THE DREAM. That is a VASTLY different standpoint than one of "only" changing your mind "about it". You never really change your mind ABOUT the dream anyway.... as you change your mind, the dream changes. There is no "about", unless you believe that the world is a SEPARATE THING FROM YOUR MIND.
"You made sickness and death and therefore can abolish both."
"You made the world."
"You maintain the world in your mind with your thoughts."
If your focus is to try to LET STUFF STILL HAPPEN and "just observe it", you are turning yourself into a fence-sitting inert powerless action-less miracle-less passive recipient of death.
Jesus states that "members of my party are ACTIVE WORKERS."
There is miracle mindedness, that is one thing. It's a state of true perception and readiness to perform miracles. But then there is MIRACLE DOING, or working, which is an ACT of CAUSING illusions to change or disappear. Miracle DOING is the part that so many are afraid of and do not want anything to do with. Because that means having power over the world and not just seeking out an escape from it.
"Your function on earth is healing." "You share the Holy Spirit's function on earth."
If you want to be a miracle WORKER, not just "miracle minded" or "transcendent", it has to go WAY beyond passivity or trying to meditate or trying to let stuff keep happening without any ABILITY to do anything about it. Faith without works is dead. You must EXTEND LOVE, CAUSE HEALING, and REVERSE DEATH. This is not a spectator sport UNTIL the entire sonship is awakened.
I recently seemed to come full circle with the course. And I mean, right back to the very beginning.
I found myself in states of false perception, looking at the world and its hellish ways. There was "tolerance for pain" and ridiculous stupid things happening. It was like I was back at the very start of course, immersed in the world and identified with suffering. It seemed like I hadn't learned a single thing.
The difference was that this time around I seemed to bring a whole lot of learning and light with me, taking a fresh NEW look at the very first starting steps on the road to awakening but without a ton of clutter and confusion. I've been rediscovering "the basics" in a whole new light, seeing a much greater simplicity and clarity in the course material.
I settled into really looking at the world's ridiculousness, its hopelessness, its meaninglessness. Jesus describes this process in a section called "the real alternative." It speaks of how we must at some point look at the fact of the world's nature and not deny it.
I had to look at the fact that time is death and everything in the world leads to death. That it is a closed system of fear in which everything always fails. It wasn't pretty to look at. But this gives rise to a deep inner rejection of the ridiculous nature of the world, an insistence that this just CANNOT BE God's will.
It was an insight that there has to be a better way, there has to be another world, there has to be another way to see and to live and be happy that has nothing to do with the world. This was a real turning point because without the awareness that the world is completely hopeless and impossible, too much value is placed in it and salvation is sought within its offerings.
I found this interesting because for a very long time I have sought to try to understand the LIGHT, the nature of heaven and God, and to try to get a clear picture of what the truth is. To reach above and beyond with theory and thought so that I could more fully understand the proper perspective of the truth.
And here I was instead taking a really good look at the darkness and finding there was a major treasure there to discover - a use of it that would prove to turn me 180 degrees in the right direction. Just as I thought things could not get much worse, I suddenly found a way out.
So for me this then opened me up to not only the willingness to seek for a better way, and another world, but also the willingness to no longer look for hope in and of the world. It was the end of false hopes and idle wishes. But it was also the birth of a fresh NEW hope, a real hope, a real possibility and a clear path to God.
I turned my back on the world more and sought the light. This also involved a major upheaval to what I thought about the world. I had to realize that much that many people had taught on the subject was wrong, and that the world in and of itself was meaningless.
I had to realize that it was POSSIBLE for there to be another way, a better way, a higher way, to rise above the hell and misery. There had to be another truth, a higher truth, not of this world, which could override the world. And this meant no longer associating hell with the world, no longer believing that it was inherently guilty.
This had required, I think, years of undoing of guilt in myself, because previously I just don't think I could conceive of how the world could not be guilty, or not accuse it all the time, because there was too much of a mountain of guilt to look past. I couldn't get my mind to conceive of a "better way" or a way of looking at the world that wasn't riddled with guilty projections. I couldn't "separate out" the world from what I was turning it into.
I hadn't thought it POSSIBLE that the same meaningless world could be seen in such a way as to even love it or find a reflection of innocence in it. I started seeing all this stuff in the course about the real world and true perceptions and the forgiven world, God loving the world and seeking a different way of seeing everything. Christ vision and so on. And this really "awakened" something in me in terms of being able to understand that the world could be forgiven and seen in a totally different light.
I did actually have several days where I felt like there was literally a light inside me that was shining all the time. Like something had been activated. And this light was entertaining the possibility that "the world I made" could be seen in a more loving way, instead of the rejecting way that is taught by many course teachers. I embraced the idea that the world isn't fundamentally hell, and it's really my interpretation of it that MAKES it so.
This has opened the way for the very simple awareness that there are indeed two ways of looking at, interpreting, giving meaning to, giving purpose to, the same world, and they are very opposite. It has also given rise to an awareness that I actually do have a CHOICE. There IS an alternative. There IS another way and another option. I don't HAVE to just go along with what appears to be an inherent meaning or a judgement that seems to come from the world. I actually can choose HOW to use and experience the world.
This has unlocked a freedom and a sense of looseness about being able to actually ELECT what to "make of" anything. I can see now that things only seem to be bad and wrong if I literally chose that they are. I see that my interpretation of everything is entirely optional and unlimited. I make everything up as I go along. I can choose something else. I have to keep asking myself whether something "really is" what I am thinking it is, or if it only seems that because I'm MAKING it be that. It is constantly revealed that I'm the one who made it into hell, and I could be happier if I would stop doing that. "I can escape the world i see by giving up attack thoughts"
I had to realize per the secret of salvation not only that I was doing it all to myself, but that it was ME who was DECIDING that the happenings in the world were evil and wrong. There's a whole layer of interpretation, judgement, evaluation, deciding and projecting that comes in between me and it. And it's not fixed. I can just as easily THINK and feel in a happier way than in an unhappy way. There is an actual alternative option to choose, a better way, a higher outlook, a more loving viewpoint.
Now I see that my experience of the world is literally like a switch. I can flip channels between the lower ego mind and the higher holy spirit mind. This forms two perspectives, the false perceptions that make everything seem like a fearful hell, and a higher perspective which lights everything up and makes it happy and easy.
"Earth can reflect heaven or hell" because I am the one who decides to believe what I see in it. It is literally nothing other than what I put there to see and I seem to be finally finding the "controls" to operate the machinery of perception. Because I've opened up to realizing there is ANOTHER world, there is a REAL ALTERNATIVE, there is a REAL HOPE, my mind is now able to not be so stuck on a one-track rollercoaster ride.
I've stepped back somehow and found a deeper footing behind the flip-flopping instabilities of perception - gaining an ability to freely stabilize it. Of course it's still a learning process but there is a definite opening and a raised awareness and an increased versatility. I see that thought is powerful and I see that ego is a false function.
I see that I need now to have only higher happier thoughts. It is not enough to just accept suffering, I will now INSIST on a better way. On ONLY seeing with christ/holy spirit and ONLY having uplifting happy thoughts. I see now that these higher-mind thoughts are the source of miracles. "The perceptual content of miracles is wholeness." I can just as easily MAKE UP that something MEANS something good than to make up that it means something is terrible. I can CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER.
The whole course is taking on new meaning and I keep seeing how the things Jesus has been saying all along suddenly make so much more sense and I see the purpose of them. Without the openness to a better way it was like functioning only on one level. But there ARE two levels, two levels of minds, two ways of seeing, two functions, two mindsets, two perceptions, two qualities of thought, two purposes, two meanings. One is lower, one is higher, and there is nothing stopping me from choosing one or the other.
I just need now to practice focusing on and embracing the higher level truth, the holy spirit's christ vision, and the happier uplifting resurrecting outlook. To have only the thoughts I think with God. To completely turn my back on, deny and reject, the unacceptable lower-level lies. This entails also not listening to the ego, not listening to the world, not listening to the body, and not paying any mind to anything not of God.
There IS a better way. There IS another world. There IS a reality where everything is always happy and everything is perfect. My willingness to trust that and side with it and believe it has really strengthened. It's time to rise!
Not being fully aware of everything will lead to false conclusions. This is the state of insanity. Meanings will be read into, there will be hallucinations, there will be a twisting or purposes, relationships will be interrupted, and reality will become corrupted, making it seem as though everything is out to get you and you're experiencing a nightmare. Justifications will arise on a false basis and there will be many mistaken perceptions.
Unconsciousness, i.e. unawareness of the whole truth, HAS to lead to you trying to make sense out of what you are experiencing, and HAS to lead to you making a false conclusion about that experience. Until you are fully aware/enlightened, you will be making perceptual errors, deciding things which are false, and will believe that someone else is causing something against your will.
Anger seems perfectly rational and sensible IF, given a blockage to awareness, there is not enough awareness of what you are doing to yourself, what you have asked for, or how you have attacked yourself. This WILL give rise to the seemingly sensible/logical conclusion that you are justified in being angry, because someone else SEEMS to have been the cause of your problem. Blocks to awareness are the sole cause of this mistaken perception.
If you could see the whole picture and have access to all of the information, everything would be in its proper perspective and seen clearly for what it is. This would lead to no distortions or confusions. Perception would then be "true" and it would be impossible to believe, or perceive, that anything can ever happen to you against your will.
If someone else SEEMS "clearly wrong", or its their fault, or you're a victim in some way, you MUST be partly unconscious and partly insane. This is why anger is never justified. It can only seem justified when, based on all the available evidence, it seems as though someone did something that you did not do. This is a false conclusion. Some facts are hidden from awareness behind walls of denial.
Our mind, even IF we think we are fully aware, fully ourselves, in our right mind, being sensible and logical, still has some pretty major blocks of denial. There is stuff which is unconscious that we do not even realize is there. Our denial has shut it out of awareness. We have no reason to suspect it is even there, and we don't want to. The purpose of the block to awareness was to implement denial, so that we would not be aware of the whole truth. This has left us with a sense of "fake innocence" which is unaware of the ways in which it is attacking and denying the Self and the Self of others.
If we seem innocent, or a victim, or justified in anger, or it's someone else's fault, or we're upset in any way, we MUST not have seen the whole truth. Even if we search our entire mind for any possible trace of evidence that WE are the one who made ourselves upset, sick, diseased or dead, we still will not find the evidence because it's been made unconscious. There are facts OUTSIDE YOUR AWARENESS, repressed by your ego's persona/mask, and hidden behind your belief that you are completely innocent and "whole" already.
Your wholeness of yourself, the extent of the awareness of your "self" right now, the limits that define the ends of you and the beginning of otherness, IS NOT the whole of who you are! Perceiving yourself as whole when you are in fact only partially conscious is an error that will lead to confusion and the "sensible answer" of finding others guilty for what you do not SEE that you did to yourself.
This fake mask or persona is a facade of denial which is covering up your mind, and was the entire reason you entered a body to begin with. The body, not created by love, and not innocent, yet pictured "as if" innocent, is a deliberate attempt to cover up the truth using denial. The body is a denial of Self, it is a denial of Life, and it is a denial of God. It must be undone and removed from awareness in order to remove all blocks in awareness and reveal the WHOLE TRUTH.
The truth of who you really are, is so whole and so full and expansive that it is literally unlimited and far-reaching and limitless. You are bigger than the universe. But you are pretending to be little so that you can escape through denial and keep your little private world of death.
From lesson 48: "There is nothing to fear."
"The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength. The awareness that there is nothing to fear shows that somewhere in your mind, though not necessarily in a place you recognize as yet, you have remembered God, and let His strength take the place of your weakness. The instant you are willing to do this there is indeed nothing to fear."
You would think that trusting yourself and depending on you own strength more would make you somehow more confident. You’d think that if you can just be braver or more stoic or aggressive or assertive, maybe you can be unafraid. Or that if you come across as powerful, others will not intimidate you.
But there is a metaphysical basis for what happens here. When you trust your own *separate* strength, you are actually putting distance between yourself and strength. God is strength. Innocence is strength. Being separate is a belief in not being with God, and not being innocent. So as you move into separation and into "your own" separated self, you move away from the inherent nature of God’s creation, away from divine protection.
This makes you weaker, lacking, uncertain, filled with doubt, afraid of punishment for the sin of being separate, guilty for rejecting God’s help, and thoroughly limits what you can do. No-one can be separate from God and live.
Anyone who has struggled in life can probably tell you that when you are trying to do everything on your own, it sucks bad. Trying to overcome problems and deal with stress and manage everything and to be some kind of separate superhero, absent of God’s help, has its major limits. Trying to "go solo" is suicide.
The more you do it, the more you *seem* to become some kind of heroic savior, or successful achiever, or person of pride, or someone who has conquered the world. You come across on the surface as invincible. Nothing could be further from the truth. The more that you try to become the ego’s version of invincibility, the more you will become vulnerable, fragile, paranoid, empty, weak and sick. Being the hero of the dream is a trap. This is why heroes die.
True strength is only possible when you share with God. True resilience, invulnerability, power, confidence, certainty, immovability and permanence can only be found by allowing God to be the one who supplies your every need. Without God, you are without life. Without God, you are alone and you now have to defend yourself against an entire world you see as willing against you. Without God there is weakness and death. You cannot live without God.
So if you are afraid, it is a sure sign that you are depending too heavily on "your own" strength. It’s strange to think that you are feeling afraid because you are believing that you are powerful. Or that you are afraid because you think you are tough. Or you are afraid because you believe you can do anything and everything and don’t need any help. Or you are afraid because you see yourself as not needing any help. But this is precisely the backwards effects which the ego produces, pretending it is going to help you to be more distinctly separate, when all it does is hurt you more.
If you are afraid, it means you are not trusting God right now. It means you are listening to the ego and are fantasizing about how powerful you are. Trying to be powerful without God makes you powerless. To have power over others against their will strips you of your power and turns you into a vulnerable victim. If you are afraid, you need to let go of trying to do this all on your own. The more you try, the more you will fail. Seek and do not find.
It is not necessary to do everything on your own. Nor is it a matter of being a separate hero and having Holy Spirit back you up or having mighty companions to support you and surround you. I used to do that more, trying to retain my separate will and have Holy Spirit as a kind of servant to do my bidding and make my separate problems go away.
It’s more a matter of surrendering control of what you think is "your life", which you are trying to will independently of God, and give your life back to God. Make room for Him to help you. Let Him share it with you. Let Him solve the problems and carry the burden. Let Him look after others for you. Allow the freedom of not having to carry the whole world on your shoulders. It’s too big for anyone to do so in isolation.
Share your life with God and you gain the power of God. Paradoxically, allowing Him to live through you will allow you to live forever. Letting Him take over and direct you specifically, and being willing to listen and learn and do, to follow direction, will be far better for you than the outcomes you are trying to manipulate into being. Controlling your will and making it oppose God’s is not ever going to work in your favor.
God has a plan. God knows how to fix stuff. God knows what everyone needs, including you. Let Him lead the way and there will be no fear. Trust Him, and all your worries will vanish.
"To the extent to which you identify with the ego's self, you will identify with the ego's strategy, and so you will become afraid of the power of your mind."
Ask Jesus what to do! Learn to ask Him more than you ask yourself. So often I am considering what to do or not do, relying on my own self to know and be able ego decide. Jesus says, "ask!"
"Before you choose to do anything, ask me if your choice is in accord with mine. If you are sure that it is, there will be no fear."
In many areas of life at the moment, Holy Spirit's guidance to me is to "try".
I have seen in many ways how I stop myself or don't do something, on the basis of the ego's justifications, which basically goes like this:
"I don't think I know how to do that, so I won't"
However, the way Holy Spirit's mind works, the act of "attempting" to do something is actually an act of faith, which only needs to be a "little willingness" to START, to just TRY to do it.
The reason is that as you begin to try to do something, a FLOW starts to happen, Heaven comes to support you, you become receptive to guidance, and you get help. But you don't get the help UNTIL YOU TRY.
An insight here is that your WILLINGNESS TO TRY to represent God, is an invitation for God to enter and support you, to heal through you, and this is how you ASK or "PRAY" and how you receive what you asked for.
So you have to overcome the "I don't know how, so I won't", and turn that into "I don't know how, but I trust Holy Spirit to help me, so I will try".
This actually has a lot to do with learning to work miracles.
Miracles require that you be trusting God/Spirit to work through you, support you, guide you, direct you, in a very spontaneous state of trust/faith, where you simply show up to "do God's bidding"... .ie God's will. It requires you to make yourself available and just be empty and open to receive, and just go along with it, even if you have no idea what's going to happen.
So we have to learn this difficult lesson, of stopping relying on the ego's huge body of thought and learning and information, or the ability to intellectually "figure out on your own" everything you need. We have to shift into a mode of fluid, trust-based willingness to extend God's truth. And there is not really anything the ego can do to prepare you for this.
It takes a lot of BALLS, or guts, in a way, to have COURAGE, to have the confidence to just step up and "do it" with a sense of believing that it simply is going to work out WHEN you do, even if you have NO CLUE how that's going to happen up-front.
That sense of certainty, of dependency on Higher Help, to just go out there and step into the shoes or the role and just fly by the seat of your pants, not alone and frightened to hell (because you will fail if you try to do this with the ego), but based on a deep trust in being supported SUPERNATURALLY if you do so, will lead to miracles.
You have to show up and fulfill your function, in order for Heaven to help you to fulfill that function. It really does take a leap of faith, stepping into the UNKNOWN, stepping into the spontaneous state of trust and being in the moment and not premeditating or practicing or rehearsing or learning ahead of time. Just being flexible and free and WILLING to be used by God.
This is why you often see people doing miracles on the streets where they just go up to total strangers and offer a prayer and just start doing it and Jesus/Holy Spirit show up and people get healed. That takes some pretty major faith/trust that that supernatural help is going to be there. You can't fake it, either. It won't work if you don't "believe" ie have come to believe the truth of God.
The truth of God is that God wants to heal immediately right now and is totally ready to do so right now. It's only you not stepping into the ROLE of healer that is holding the miracles back. This is how Jesus was able to just go around and spontaneously "miracle the shit out of everything." - you can quote me on that ;-) He had no preparation, no reliance on ego skills, He just trusted God really strongly and the support was right there because he got into a flow and was of service.
But if we don't even try to do something, thinking that we are relying entirely on ourselves only, and that we don't have the knowledge or ability, we have already failed. We're in a state of failure. And we know we will fail if we keep trusting only in our own strength. Which is fear. Fear will block miracles because its an attempt to trust only what you know and not what God knows, believing you are the source of miracles or that something about how you perform them gives them their power. All power is from God and can only be SHARED AND EXTENDED by you, and you must learn to trust it.
Once we do learn to get over our ego objections and "I can't so I won't", we'll get more into the miracle-working mindset and miracles will flow naturally. When these miracles aren't flowing, something has gone wrong.
Miracle working entails the use of PRAYER. "Prayer is the medium of miracles." "Through prayer love is received. Through miracles love is expressed."
Miracles are NOT a shift in perception. The only way perception is involved is that perception must be loving (as close to true perception as possible), and fear must be suspended. "Wholeness is the perceptual content of miracles." Wholeness of perception is not a shift. It is miracle mindedness, resting on forgiveness, which sees with MAXIMAL love.
Miracles, in a course in miracles, are expressive acts of power which can heal others. And they are performed through PRAYER. However, this doesn’t mean you have to pray using words. God does not understand words. Prayers are requests made in your HEART, in awareness of LOVE. Love is essential for miracle working. Your heart requests and receives and experiences, in certainty and decisiveness.
Some parts of ACIM speak specifically to "how to perform miracles." Here is one of them:
21. What Is the Role of Words in Healing?
M-21.1. Strictly speaking, words play no part at all in healing. 2 The motivating factor is prayer, or asking. 3 What you ask for you receive. 4 But this refers to the prayer of the heart, not to the words you use in praying. 5 Sometimes the words and the prayer are contradictory; sometimes they agree. 6 It does not matter. 7 God does not understand words, for they were made by separated minds to keep them in the illusion of separation. 8 Words can be helpful, particularly for the beginner, in helping concentration and facilitating the exclusion, or at least the control, of extraneous thoughts. 9 Let us not forget, however, that words are but symbols of symbols. 10 They are thus twice removed from reality.
M-21.2. As symbols, words have quite specific references. 2 Even when they seem most abstract, the picture that comes to mind is apt to be very concrete. 3 Unless a specific referent does occur to the mind in conjunction with the word, the word has little or no practical meaning, and thus cannot help the healing process. 4 The prayer of the heart does not really ask for concrete things. 5 It always requests some kind of experience, the specific things asked for being the bringers of the desired experience in the opinion of the asker. 6 The words, then, are symbols for the things asked for, but the things themselves but stand for the experiences that are hoped for.
M-21.3. The prayer for things of this world will bring experiences of this world. 2 If the prayer of the heart asks for this, this will be given because this will be received. 3 It is impossible that the prayer of the heart remain unanswered in the perception of the one who asks. 4 If he asks for the impossible, if he wants what does not exist or seeks for illusions in his heart, all this becomes his own. 5 The power of his decision offers it to him as he requests. 6 Herein lie hell and Heaven. 7 The sleeping Son of God has but this power left to him. 8 It is enough. 9 His words do not matter. 10 Only the Word of God has any meaning, because it symbolizes that which has no human symbols at all. 11 The Holy Spirit alone understands what this Word stands for. 12 And this, too, is enough.
M-21.4. Is the teacher of God, then, to avoid the use of words in his teaching? 2 No, indeed! 3 There are many who must be reached through words, being as yet unable to hear in silence. 4 The teacher of God must, however, learn to use words in a new way. 5 Gradually, he learns how to let his words be chosen for him by ceasing to decide for himself what he will say. 6 This process is merely a special case of the lesson in the workbook that says, "I will step back and let Him lead the way." 7 The teacher of God accepts the words which are offered him, and gives as he receives. 8 He does not control the direction of his speaking. 9 He listens and hears and speaks.
M-21.5. A major hindrance in this aspect of his learning is the teacher of God's fear about the validity of what he hears. 2 And what he hears may indeed be quite startling. 3 It may also seem to be quite irrelevant to the presented problem as he perceives it, and may, in fact, confront the teacher with a situation that appears to be very embarrassing to him. 4 All these are judgments that have no value. 5 They are his own, coming from a shabby self-perception which he would leave behind. 6 Judge not the words that come to you, but offer them in confidence. 7 They are far wiser than your own. 8 God's teachers have God's Word behind their symbols. 9 And He Himself gives to the words they use the power of His Spirit, raising them from meaningless symbols to the Call of Heaven itself.
We can reduce a lot of what the Course teaches seemingly down to simple statements such as "god is". But then when you try to extrapolate that back out to properly describe what we're experiencing, it doesn't work. Information has been lost. "God is oneness" or "there is no separation" is WAAAY too vague as a starting point.
If "God is", then when we try to explain what's happening in this world, or why I was woken up this morning at 7:30 by an alarm clock made of plastic and metal with electricity running through it, the "God is" teaching simply does not cut it. If we rely just on that, it's going to mean, God is an alarm clock.
All manner of false conclusions come from OVER SIMPLIFYING the metaphysics. This simplification is too basic to BASE an entire thought system on, or to structure an entire set of metaphysics on. It's all very well going one direction to make things more simple, but when we then turn around and use that simplified version to draw conclusions, it's just too basic. You won't end up with the same conclusions.
"God is" is an extremely high-level aspect of the truth, and conclusions drawn from these super-simplified ideas can be very much in error. God is not the one dreaming, and God did not create death or this world, which would be natural conclusions drawn from this. It's not accurate enough.
This is also why ideas of oneness and nonduality are severely prone to all kinds of false conclusions which STEM FROM the overly basic nature of these concepts. They simply do not properly or accurately describe God's nature and lead to so many "implications" that are false, that basing all kinds of conclusions on "there is only God" or "there is no self" or "there is one self" etc simply produces a huge amount of error.
The truth is supposed to be simple. But in terms of conceptualizing it, it's not simple, and without enough accuracy in the definition or what reality is or is not like, we just are going to find ourselves confused and mistaken. This is partly why the Course itself is SO HUGE and detailed, because there are so many nuances that CANNOT Be properly communicated using such simple terms. It's unfortunate but concepts, being of the ego, can become much more complex the closer you get to the truth, if you want them to be accurate. "God is" is nice, but it's too basic.
This overly basic reduction of the Course and the false conclusions which come from it, has unfortunately HAPPENED, and a huge percentage of the ACIM community has been somewhat misled into false teachings and false conclusions based on massively over-simplified concepts. There are countless statements in Jesus's words to demonstrate this.
As a result, we now have concepts of non-duality and having no self and the idea that the sonship is of the ego and that there are no souls and that there is only one person responsible for the dream and that you are responsible for other people's choices and so on, which are all false, which result from STARTING AT a way too basic concept or starting point.
Great teachers and poor teachers alike have fallen into this trap in a big way. There is huge portions of Jesus's teachings which have been misrepresented. Particularly in the areas of identity/responsibility, the performing of miracles, and overcoming death. The "natural conclusions" drawn from faulty logic has basically glossed over significant major teachings, and has turned A Course in Miracles into a sanitary and watered-down way to fix yourself and get out of here.
This is a Course in performing miracles, becoming very powerfully minded, reversing literal death, and being one of many sons of God who temporarily demonstrates perfect health in the dream while teaching and helping all brothers to wake up through miraculous demonstration.
This message has been largely destroyed by well-meaning but misguided teachings and poor reasoning. We need to almost start over with a much more accurate and all-encompassing view of the Course which does not omit things Jesus said, does not see contradictions where there are none, does not turn a blind eye to things that don't seem to make sense, and does not filter OUT the very heart and soul of the Course itself.
A major theme in ACIM is that you are supposed to come out of the PAST into the PRESENT. Basically it's saying that in the separation from God, we made time, by inventing a sense of the past being different to what is here now. Or as an attempt to change what is here now into something it is not, resulting in a different future. Time was an attempt to destroy or deny what exists, by claiming that it has changed, being no longer like it was.
In doing this we kind of avoided the eternal always now of the present in ETERNITY, which is timeless. And instead we positioned ourselves separate and distanced from that sense of now-ness, inventing the past and the future which are both avoidances of the now. The past is also the idea of sin, suggesting that your past sin caused a guilty present and will be punished in the future, as a kind of chain of cause and effect.
So we literally invented time displacement, which is also distance, and is thus also space. We invented spacetime, a belief in not being now or of being distanced from what is. The "now" moment in time, while still being IN time, is actually symbolic of eternity. It is the holy instant. It is not eternity but it is very close to it because it centers time on a rejection of "past and future", and therefore invites the end of time.
In ACIM therefore we are literally being asked to bring about the END OF TIME AND SPACE, by moving out of the past and future into the present. Because it's only in the present that you can be forgiving, and have vision, and be healed. Love is present, God is present.
We are told that "I see only the past", and to then gradually learn to come out of the past into the present so that "I see only the present." To see relationships in terms of what your brother is NOW without his past, which is forgiveness, laying the basis for holy-relating.
This is rather similar to the "Power of Now" that Eckhart Tolle has touted. ACIM is actually asking us to stop believing in the past and the future and to become very focused and centered in the present, so that we can align our mind with the eternal now. Heaven is always in a state of "now is always and forever", unchanging and never moving away from what is here now - never avoiding God.
Avoiding the present is the avoidance of God. Which is why the ego is dedicated to the past, and to maintaining time - or a gap between what is and where you are. We are literally being asked to come out of time, out of the sense of history or future, and into a pristine, clean, "new", fresh look at what is here NOW, so that we can truly see what is here now, which allows us to see the real world, and thereby forgive the world.
All condemnation of sin is always about the past. All projections of guilt and blame are based on past doings. Even in the moment that someone sins, it is already old. Holding it against them is holding the past against them and against ourselves. PRESENCE, therefore, is a major central pillar in ACIM's teaching.
We are being asked to be fully present, fully aware, fully attentive to what is, fully wholly undivided in our dedication to the immediacy of reality. This leads to holy instants, to the real world, and lays the path back to heaven. By coming out of the past and future we literally are undoing the gap of separation, and are therefore collapsing both time and space.
The present is the key to the disappearing of spacetime and everything it. And it is the doorway to resurrection and to miracles. It is in the PRESENT that we become a "born again Christ-ian."
"To be born again is to let the PAST go, and LOOK WITHOUT CONDEMNATION UPON THE PRESENT. For the cloud which obscures God's Son to you IS the past, and if you would have it past AND GONE, you must NOT SEE IT NOW."
"At no SINGLE instant does the body exist at all. It is always remembered or anticipated, but NEVER experienced just now. Only its past and future make it seem real. Time controls it entirely. For sin is never present."
"The miracle enables you to see your brother WITHOUT his past, and so perceive him as born again. His errors ARE all past, and by perceiving him WITHOUT them, you are RELEASING him. And since his past is yours, you SHARE in this release."
"His past has NO reality in the present, and you CANNOT see it."
"Your past was made in anger, and if you use it to ATTACK the present you will NOT SEE the freedom that the present holds."
"Look lovingly upon the present, for it holds the ONLY things that are forever true."
"The present is before time WAS, and WILL BE when time is no more. In it is everything that is eternal, and they ARE one."
"The ego invests heavily in the past, and in the end, believes that the past is the ONLY aspect of time that is meaningful. You will remember that we said its emphasis on guilt enables it to ensure its continuity, by MAKING THE FUTURE LIKE THE PAST, and thus AVOIDING the present."
"For the ego uses the present ONLY as a brief transition TO the future, in which it brings the past TO the future, BY INTERPRETING THE PRESENT IN PAST TERMS."
"NOW has no meaning to the ego. The present merely reminds it of PAST hurts, and it reacts to the present AS IF it were past."
"The ego teaches that you always encounter your PAST, and because your dreams WERE not holy, the future CANNOT be, and the present is without meaning."
"The continuity of past and future, UNDER ITS DIRECTION, is the only purpose it perceives in time, and it closes over the present, so that no gap in the EGO's continuity can occur. ITS continuity, then, would KEEP you in time, while the Holy Spirit would release you FROM it."
"For healing CANNOT be accomplished in the past, and MUST be accomplished in the present to RELEASE the future. THIS interpretation ties the future to the present, and EXTENDS THE PRESENT, rather than the past. But if you interpret your function as DESTRUCTION, you will lose sight of the present, and hold on to the past TO ENSURE A DESTRUCTIVE FUTURE."
"Who can grieve or suffer, when the present has been freed, extending its security and peace into a quiet future filled with hope?"
"Father, we were mistaken in the past, and choose to use the present to be free. Now do we leave the future in Your hands, leaving behind our past mistakes, and sure that You will keep Your present Promises, and guide the future in their holy light."
"There is a real world which the present holds safe from all past mistakes." "The Holy Spirit teaches thus: There IS no hell. Hell is only what the ego has made OF THE PRESENT."
"Fear is NOT of the present, but ONLY of the past and future, which do not exist."
"The choice is not whether to see the past or the present: it is merely whether to see or not."
"For the present IS forgiveness."
"The special relationship TAKES VENGEANCE ON THE PAST. By seeking to remove suffering IN THE PAST, it OVERLOOKS the present, in its preoccupation with the past, and its TOTAL COMMITMENT to it. NO SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP IS EXPERIENCED IN THE PRESENT."
"Your mind cannot grasp the present, which is the only time there is. It therefore cannot understand time, and cannot, in fact, understand anything." "Sometimes the past seems real, as if it WERE the present. Voices FROM the past are heard, and then are doubted."
"The aim of prayer is to release the present from its chains of past illusions; to let it be a freely chosen remedy from every choice that stood for a mistake."
"Your learning gives the present NO MEANING AT ALL. Nothing you have ever learned can help you understand the present, or teach you how to undo the past. Your past IS what you have taught yourselves."
"The present now remains the only time."
"A miracle is a beginning and an end(ing). It thus abolishes time. It is always an affirmation of re-birth, which seems to go back, but really goes forward. It undoes the past in the present, and thus releases the future."
"We look neither ahead nor backwards. We look straight into the present. And we give our trust to the experience we ask for now."
"What time but now can truth be recognized? The present is the only time there is."
"The making of time, to TAKE THE PLACE of timelessness, lay in the decision to BE NOT as you WERE. Thus, truth was made past, and the present was dedicated to illusion. And the past, too, was changed, and INTERPOSED between what ALWAYS was, and NOW. The past that YOU remember NEVER was, and represents only denial of what ALWAYS was."
"the Son of God is risen from the past, and has awakened to the present. Now is he free, unlimited in his communion with all that is within him."
"In the holy instant, you see, in each relationship, what it WILL be, when you perceive ONLY the present."
"He is as safe in the present as he was before illusions were accepted into his mind, and as he will be when he has let them go."
"The real world signifies the end of time, for its perception makes time purposeless."
"Today the light has come. And you will see the world that has been promised you since time began, and in which is the end of time ensured."
"So do the parts of God's Son gradually join in time, and with each joining is the end of time brought nearer. Each miracle of joining is a mighty herald of eternity."
"Everyone seen WITHOUT the past thus brings you nearer to the end of time, by bringing healed and healing sight into the darkness, and ENABLING THE WORLD TO SEE."
"And it is given you to be the means
Through which His Voice is heard around the world
To close all things of time, to end the sight
Of all things visible; and to undo
All things that change. Through you is ushered in
A world unseen, unheard, yet truly there."
"I do not know what anything, INCLUDING THIS, means. And so I do NOT know HOW TO RESPOND TO IT. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now."
A Course in Miracles has some basic structure to it. The very simplest of these is the contrast between reality and illusions. e.g.
God, reality, awakening, light, creation, eternity, wholeness, permanence, heaven, truth, the Kingdom of God, etc... these all represent THE ONE TRUTH. This is "really big picture stuff". Only the Holy Trinity is real.
Illusions, separation, ego, denial, unconsciousness, death, dreaming, attack, murder, sickness, suffering, unawareness, darkness etc... these all represent THE EXACT OPPOSITE TO that one truth.
This produces what you could either think of as "two boxes", or as a container within a container.
Box A: Heaven, God, Creation etc
Box B: World you made, illusions, ego etc
as in "Earth, heaven's opposite in every way"
or
Larger container: Heaven, God, Reality etc
Smaller container inside it: ego, illusions etc
as in "you are safe in God, dreaming of exile"
You as a being, with a mind, are able to seem to "be in" either one of these two states. You can be in reality, or in illusions. You can be in heaven, or on Earth. You can be out of a body, or in a body. You can be having eternal life, or seeming to suffer and die.
In every case, there is a clear distinction between the "box" of reality and the box of illusions. Because in truth, the box of illusions does not really exist. There really IS only reality, and the "illusory fearful world" isn't real.
"Life has no opposite, for it is God."
Jesus describes this:
"If perfect love casts out fear, and if fear exists, then there is NOT perfect love. But only perfect love really exists. Therefore, if there is fear, it creates a state which does not exist"
Your experience of "where you are" and "what you are", is determined by whether you believe that Actual Reality is REAL, or whether an ILLUSION is real. If you believe illusions are real, you will substitute reality for it, BLOCKING your awareness of reality, and you will believe that illusions are reality. This is the ego at work. Being deceived by things which don't exist.
When this happens, you seem to find yourself WITHIN the "context of" which of the two boxes you believe is reality. Either heaven seems real, or earth seems real. Either God's Kingdom is reality, or "the world you made in dreaming" seems real. And if the world you made is your reality, you will believe you are LOCATED inside of it.
Now, there are things which ACIM states about reality, which is true in the biggest possible picture. For example, "Reality is a constant state", "Nothing real can be threatened", "Nothing unreal exists." In this CONTEXT, it might correctly identify that, from the perspective of reality, "the body is a dream" - "the body is clearly a device for separation and therefore does not exist" - "God did not create the body."
These are statements made FROM the context of reality. BUT, in the same Course, Jesus might go on to start talking about the body. He might talk about your USE of it. He might talk about what it pictures or symbolizes. He might talk about how to heal it, and about sickness of the body. These statements are made WITHIN or inside of the context of assuming that "the illusory body seems to exist."
So Jesus then is dipping inside of the "illusions" box, and starting to talk about the body as if it matters. But then later he might jump out of that box again and talk about it as though it is nothing and doesn't exist. He might say "The mind, being sane, heals the body." This is squarely within the context or box of "IF the body exists." We are ASSUMING here that we're talking about the body AS IF it is real. And so now Jesus talks about how to heal or change its condition.
But then Jesus might go on to say, "The body cannot stay without illusions" - "the body is a limit" "therefore it does not exist" etc. And this means he has stepped OUT of the context of the illusion box, into the BIGGER truth. The big truth now reveals that sick bodies and healthy bodies are EQUALLY ILLUSIONS.
What happens then is, if people don't RECOGNIZE which box Jesus is speaking FROM, what the CONTEXT is, what is assumed or accepted for the sake of description, mistaken conclusions will be drawn.
If you don't realize that there even ARE these two "levels" or contexts, you might read the entire course thinking it is describing ONE single context or state. And this will produce significant confusion and contradiction, because he isn't talking that way. What this then means is that you are "confusing the levels" because you are not clearly recognizing the context he's talking in.
So you might say, as if on the same level, "Jesus says sick bodies are the same as healthy bodies"... and "therefore, there's no point healing them." Do you see the subtle shift between contexts? It suddenly went from a "big picture" context, took that "level" of truth, and then shifted into the small picture context, and tried to make the big-picture truth apply equally at that level. This is a mistake in reasoning.
It leads to things like "there's no point changing the world", "there's no point healing bodies", "there's no point working miracles for others" etc. It also leads to "I'm not really a body so I should stop eating", "the world is not real so why bother having relationships", and all kinds of other nonsense. Confusing the levels leads to false conclusions. It also leads to sickness.
There are times where Jesus speaks highly of the world. In its forgiven state, He suggests it is the loveliest thing you'll ever see. How there is nothing but holiness reflected in it. That it's practically like heaven on earth. This is within the context of "inside the illusion box". It's under the ASSUMPTION that we're accepting that "the world seems to exist."
But Jesus then goes on to talk about how the world is NOTHING, the "sorry outcome" of a split mind, a world made by minds driven mad by guilt, an attack on God, a picture of the crucifixion of God's son. That eternity will shine away the world, and even the forgiven world will spin into nothingness. He even goes so far to as imply that in comparison to Heaven's reality, IT IS UGLY.
"This little step, so small it has escaped your notice, is a stride through time into eternity, and beyond all **ugliness**, into beauty that will enchant you, and will never cease to cause you wonderment at its perfection."
So at one moment he is speaking seemingly very highly of this world. Speaking of the highest possible way that you can look upon whatever it is, as if he's putting it on a pedestal and worshipping it. Then the next, he jumps OUT of that context of "the illusory world forgiven" and reminds us of how in the BIG picture, everything he just said so amorously about he world is dashed to the rocks and thrown into oblivion.
Because in the bigger picture, in that CONTEXT, there literally IS NO WORLD. Describing the world then as an illusion, false, unreal, hell, temptation, lack, darkness, the world of sin etc, is a CORRECT and truthful perspective when regarding the world from the LARGER perspective of reality. And this SEEMS now to be a "negative" tone, not at all praising the world or "sounding loving". Yet it is true.
This could cause a lot of confusion if you think that there are no levels or "structure" in the course. Many people, me included, read the course thinking that everything it says is all one ONE level and applies to everything. But believing this, one must be fundamentally confused by what it says. Jesus must sound contradictory. And what He says is likely to be only PARTIALLY accepted.
In this way, we will gravitate towards parts that we find acceptable or "sounding" more lovely, and will likely reject the parts that "sound negative". One part of the course will be pitted against another part and held up as defense against what the other part says.
It is vital to realize that there ARE levels because there IS a significant difference, TOTAL OPPOSITION, between reality and illusions. Which means effectively there are TWO WORLDS. The Kingdom God created, and the one you made to OPPOSE it. And the one you made in dreaming is totally opposite to God's.
"Earth, heaven's OPPOSITE in EVERY way."
You find yourself on earth in a body because of the fact you don't want to be IN the CONTEXT of heaven. Each of these two major contexts are not just concepts. Each one is a thought system. Each has produced an entire REALM of existence. And each is its own WORLD.
When you are IN the context of reality, you are NOT in this world. When you are IN the context of illusions, you are in THIS world. You cannot be in THIS world, this context, and be free of illusions. "The body cannot stay without illusions." "Indeed, you cannot remain in the world with this knowledge." "God cannot enter a body, nor can you join him there." "Those who perceive still need healing". etc.
So there are two major contexts, two worlds, two realms in which to find yourself, two thought systems, two "universes", and only one of them is totally true. The other seems true ONLY WITHIN its own context of "it seems to exist." If the world is accepted as existing, there IS something to be done to help others in the world. There is a curriculum to learn. There are miracles to perform. Bodies and minds need healing.
"The Soul never loses its communion with God. ***Only the mind and body need Atonement.*** The miracle joins in the Atonement of Christ by placing the mind in the service of the Spirit. This establishes the proper function of mind, and abolishes its errors."
Outside of the context of "I am in this world", being OUTSIDE the illusion box, you exist in Heaven with God. In Heaven there is absolute reality, permanence, truth, certainty, communion, creation, eternal life, holiness, omnipresence, immortality, constancy. "Outside" heaven in the dream world, none of these things are possible because the illusory world DENIES all of them.
So beware when you read ANYTHING in the Course, try to discern WHAT level it's on. What context is it being said within. And watch even for shifts in context/levels mid-sentence. Creating in your mind a crystal clear distinction between the two levels, assigning appropriate things to EACH BOX, will go a really long way to clarifying what Jesus MEANS and what he's referring to.
There are some extremely lofty beautiful things He says which are STILL squarely within the realm of illusions. And there are things which don't sound beautiful at all which are actually coming from a HIGHER level. "There is no world" isn't a damning condemnation of this world. It's just being honest about this illusion, from the perspective of the big picture. It actually should be cause for celebration.
"Forget not the Kingdom of God for anything the world has to offer. The world can ADD nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons, but it can blind the Sons to the Father if they behold it. You cannot behold the world and know God. Only one is true."
Sometimes it seems like stuff happens that you did not ask for.
The only reason this seems possible is because you are not fully aware of every part of your mind, and some hidden parts of you are working against you.
You believe that your current awareness is a full awareness, that you are fully aware of your entire self. Wherever you sense the edges of your awareness to be, that is the boundary that you believe is the edge of your entire being. And that there is nothing else beyond it.
But your mind, unless you are spiritually awakened, has parts to it which you are unaware of. There are parts which are hidden behind walls of denial and fear. These parts are essentially unconscious to you, i.e. you are not aware of them in your conscious awareness and this makes it seem as though they do not exist. There is more to your mind than you realize.
If you were to ask most people if they have an unconscious mind, it would be a complete guess, because really you can't be aware of the unconscious until it is made conscious. So you have to take someone's word for it that you may even have unconscious parts to you. But unless you are aware of the presence of God, there must be some parts of your mind which are outside of your awareness.
Now, simply because some parts of your choosing mind may be outside of the scope of your conscious awareness, it is possible that those parts of your mind are active and are choosing to make things happen, but without your knowing it. These parts of your mind are filled with beliefs and thoughts and attitudes which do express and do create situations and events to reflect what it believes.
Particularly, the unconscious mind is usually a repository of darkness, self-attack, guilt, hatred, and all manner of insanity. And this tends to be so denied that it shows up in your experience as though it is outside of your body, and embedded into or laid on top of other people. You experience it out there as though it has nothing to do with you at all, and yet it is your own hidden self-hate.
So then, it seems to your conscious self as though stuff starts to happen to you that you did not consciously want or remember choosing. And to explain the origin of these things that happen to you, being unaware that you chose them yourself, it seems to make sense to now find some "other" source of these things. Like other people.
So the mere fact that you have a split mind which is partly conscious and partly unconscious, automatically puts you into a situation where you see yourself as being victimized. Choices are being made, a will is performing its desires, and someone somewhere is deciding things, but it doesn't seem to be yourself. So automatically, you will look outside of yourself for the cause.
This is the origin of all scapegoating, all blame, all perception of being a victim in any way, all anger towards others, all attempts to find other people guilty or wrong, and all belief that it MUST be someone else's fault, simply because you are not aware of what hidden parts of yourself are doing to yourself. You become hell-bent on finding someone else to be the cause of your condition, not realizing that YOU are the cause.
Given that you are not aware of the full scope of your whole mind, and given that the hidden parts of your mind are still believing that you are guilty, and given that those beliefs will lead to self-punishment, it is no wonder that once those punishments start to happen, you're going to be desperate to find out WHO did it to you. You'll think it's not you.
It can seem to be difficult to accept that you chose suffering or difficult situations or major problems or sicknesses or pain or fear. It can seem like there is just no way that you would've wanted this situation, and that there is no way that you - your conscious self, would choose this. But you're not aware of your whole self, so you don't really know that you chose it, or why.
Over time, with forgiveness, which is really just the insight that you've been doing EVERYTHING to yourself and NOTHING has happened to you that you did not choose - unconsciously or otherwise, you will become more aware of the content and attitudes hidden in your unconscious. The unconscious will be integrated back into awareness, you will uncover your secret sins and hidden self-hates, and through healing you will come to a fuller awareness of the whole of yourself.
It is in the light of that fullness of who you are, rather than being a little portion of yourself, that you can recognize that you cannot possibly have been victimized. You will be honest in admitting the truth, that you have been doing this to yourself, you did plan it all along, and there is nobody else to be held accountable.
If you can see and accept that you really DID do this all on your own, to yourself, without needing anyone else to explain why things happened, then automatically everyone else is innocent and you have hope of freedom. But this DOES require that you be AWARE, i.e. able to see, that you really ARE doing this to yourself. Then you will not even think to blame it on anyone else because you obviously are the cause.
Because now that you are in your full mind, you can choose again, and decide to stop hurting yourself. You can choose life. You can give up your death wish. You can let go of your self abusive attitude. You can stop hating yourself and stop condemning yourself. You can stop believing that you are sinful or guilty. And you can come to realize that God still loves you because you have not really done anything at all.
Awareness sets you free of the delusions and illusions of suffering, that you conclude are caused by anyone other than yourself. The belief in your fate being chosen entirely by "other than me" is a choice for death. And even then you are still doing it to yourself. You do not have to die.
Increasing your awareness through undoing of the blocks that keep the mind in the dark, will set you free and bring you back to life. This is the time of your resurrection. This is your return to who you really are, free of the illusion that you can suffer at the hands of another. It was never anyone else's fault.
The secret to salvation is that you are doing this to yourself, and have been all along. And yet you have done nothing real at all. In this view, both you and others are equally innocent, and all is forgiven and released.