I've been getting hints for a while, that there is a disconnect between inner and outer states, or between how I experience the world and what the world does. That it's possible to remain in a state of happiness or love, in spite of what's happening externally. That my inner condition doesn't depend on the outer condition.

The question came up, what if I could just remain happy regardless of what happens? What if how I feel isn't actually tied to the world or events or people? If I were to be happy while something was happening, I probably wouldn't care so much about it. It isn't an issue of what happens, but of how I experience it internally.

So there's the external happenings, and then there's the internal experience of it. What that also tells me is that who and what I am, isn't part of the physical level. It isn't the body or an emotion or an event or a reaction. It's actually possible to step away from the external stuff and sit above it, out of reach of suffering.

In truth then there aren't actually any causes of suffering in the world. There is nothing outside of me that can bring oppression. It really is only my mind that can affect my experience. And if I so choose, I can in fact elect to be in a state of happiness and safety which the world can do NOTHING about. Just as the course says, the world cannot give you peace, OR take it away.

It's kind of like saying, when you're in a good mood, nothing can bother you. You just float above it and are much less affected. When you are happier and stronger in light and life and love, you laugh in the face of death.

The simple secret of salvation then is that you cannot suffer unless you make yourself suffer. You can't suffer unless you step down from your throne of love, in which you share God's strength and power, and see yourself as a victim in some way. As soon as you choose to go into a fear state, the whole world starts to seem like it is out to get you, unsettling you, topping you off balance, making you lose your center.

So I started thinking about.. well, if I could just remain in a state of inner happiness, love, peace etc, it would not matter what happens outside me. It wouldn't even matter if everything was falling apart and going wrong. I would just remain happy and laugh about it. Whether I am happy or not should not depend at all on the world or other people. It depends entirely on my state of mind. And "the world was made that problems could not be escaped. Seek not escape from problems here", so it's really how I use and see the world that offers me escape from it.

As Jesus says, if we identify with love, we will feel safe, and will enter into the protection of God. If we tune to love, our mind will become whole and happy and healthy and our body will follow suit. Love is the single main ingredient of all miracle working, as expressions of love, which is also the power of God. If you are close to love then what you are literally moves away from the bodily level into the mind/spirit, above the battleground and out of reach of threat. Because you are not of this world.

I think we've been so used to living in fear, being out of touch with safety, that we just assume the whole world is unsafe. Everything is seen as a threat or attack, then we become defensive and try to make ourselves safe. But it doesn't work. And then we're insecure and feeling vulnerable and attackable, weak and victimized, offended and upset. Then we get really lost in this idea that I'm afraid or upset because of the world.

The only reason I am ever afraid or upset is because I've gone into fear in my mind, having rejected love in my mind, and this is an attack upon myself by myself. And now I look out through fearful sight and this taints everything I see. It now seems like because I am unsafe, everything in the world is reminding me of that unsafely. Everything becomes a threat because my mind is in a state of threat. Everyone becomes an enemy because I have become enemy to myself.

The key is that it's not them that's the problem. They're not the cause of my fear or upset. They're not doing anything to me. They're not putting the fear in me, threatening me, attacking me, or victimizing me. I only think they are because I'm confused and am not realizing that I'm doing all that to myself. Either I identify with love and feel totally safe and SEE safety everywhere, or I identify with fear/ego and see reasons to be afraid everywhere I look.

As Jesus says, "you can escape the world you see by giving up attack thoughts", ie "your attack thoughts are attacking your invulnerability." "You can be hurt by nothing but your thoughts." "It can be but myself I crucify" etc. We do stuff to ourselves and then it flavors everything we see. The problem isn't out there, it's in our minds. It's in our minds before we even project and make perceptions. It's in our identification. Either we are identifying with the body and with the idea of a fearful fake self, or we're identifying with spirit and with strength and safety and invulnerability.

As a man thinketh. Here Jesus tells you that if you want the world to not appear to be frightening, you need to change YOUR MIND, so that you PROJECT safety from a loving mind, and then perceive it as a result. This isn't a statement about not changing the world, only that you can only make the world appear to be safe as a side-effect of choosing safety in your mind FIRST, and then projecting it. This will change how you interpret the world that's perceived, once projected from an inner state. The inner state comes first. Choose love and you are safe. And you are safe because you are body and cannot be attacked.

"Projection makes perception; the world you see is what you GAVE it, nothing more than that. But, though it is no MORE than that, it is NOT less. Therefore, to YOU, it IS important. It is the witness to your state of mind, the OUTSIDE picture of an INWARD condition. As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. Therefore, seek not to change the WORLD, but will to change your mind ABOUT the world. Perception is a RESULT, and NOT a cause."

"Destructiveness becomes benign, and sin is turned to blessing under His gentle gaze."

"When you have looked on what seemed terrifying, and SEEN it change to sights of loveliness and peace; when you have looked on scenes of violence and death, and WATCHED them change to quiet views of gardens under open skies, with clear life-giving water running happily beside them in dancing brooks that never waste away; who need PERSUADE you to accept the gift of vision? And AFTER vision, who is there who COULD refuse what MUST come after? Think but an instant just on this. YOU can behold the holiness God gave His Son. And NEVER need you think that there IS something else for you to see."

"There is a light which this world cannot give. Yet YOU can give it, as it was given YOU. And AS you give it, it shines forth to call you FROM the world, and follow it. For this light will attract you as nothing in this world can do. And you will lay aside the world and find another. This other world is bright with love WHICH YOU HAVE GIVEN IT. And here will everything remind you of your Father and his holy Son. Light is unlimited, and spreads across this world in quiet joy. All those you brought WITH you will shine on you, and you will shine on them in gratitude, because they brought you here. Your light will join with theirs, in power so compelling, that it will draw the others out of darkness as you look on them."

"What is the single requisite for this shift in perception? It is simply this; the recognition that sickness is of the mind, and has nothing to do with the body. What does this recognition "cost"? It costs the world we see, for the world will never again appear to rule the mind. For with this recognition is responsibility placed where it belongs; not with the world, but on him who looks on the world and sees it as it is not. He looks on what he chooses to see. No more and no less. The world does nothing to him. He only thought it did. Nor does he do anything to the world, because he was mistaken about what it was. Herein is the release from guilt and sickness both, for they are one. Yet to accept this release, the insignificance of the body must be an acceptable idea."

"Peace is an attribute in YOU. You cannot find it outside. All mental illness is some form of EXTERNAL searching. Mental health is INNER peace. It enables you to remain unshaken by lack of love from without, and capable, through your own miracles of correcting the external conditions, which proceed from lack of love in others."

You can easily escape into concepts, theories, course quotes as defences, in order to avoid something you don't want to admit to.

Instead of being willing to accept something uncomfortable, you go into denial, and start fighting against the thing with dissociation and intellectual "rising above."

There are things about this world that can be quite unpleasant. Someone dying, the loss of a house, wars raging, people being mis-treated and all that.

We become upset about the thing, not really because of what it is, but because we refuse to accept it. We make something of it, and then we start reacting to what we made of it, and going off on a tangent of a whole new kind of suffering which is even worse than the thing we were avoiding.

Yes nasty things seem to occur. These are kind of like hard facts. In space and time, in physical terms, they happen. Spiritually-minded people love to bypass this and start "attacking it away" with spiritual quote fests, favourite phrases, comments about how its not real, how we're not at the effect of it, and all this. But what this then becomes is avoidance.

If we would stay with the thing and admit to it, stare it in the face, confront it head-on, and be willing to actually look at it, we would be remaining in the present. We would be being honest. We would be not going into denial or trying to cover it up or placate it or make it go away because we don't like it.

And, as it turns out, this present confrontation with the thing helps you to retain your sanity, helps you to not avoid or hide, and helps you to accept it. It's the acceptance of it that actually gives you freedom from it, rather than all these efforts to change it into something, to bypass it spiritually, to move into the intellect, or to sprit the fuck out of it to make it not be there.

For all the time I for example have been dealing with loss over the death of my wife, ACIM has offered a lot of high-level clarity about what it really is, what hasn't actually happened, and all this stuff about how its my belief in it that makes me suffer. A whole lot of metaphysical philosophising and trying to rise above it, to transcend it, to forgive it, to find some peace somehow. But in a way, this has all been a way of avoiding looking at it - a form of denial.

Acceptance is needed in order to be able to let something go and move on. You can't find acceptance by wanting something to change, to be different, to have not happened. You also can't find acceptance by not being willing to admit that the thing HAS happened. It's staring you in the face and practically screaming at you that "this has occurred." On a physical level, IT HAS.

If you avoid this fact, you are putting yourself out of touch with reality. Not that the world is real but the attitude towards this world also in turn becomes your attitude about God. If you avoid an illusion, you avoid God. If you can't look at the world, you can't look at your self. If you hide from changes, you can't embrace changelessness.

So it may be true actually that we find more peace and acceptance through allowing the world to be the way it is, accepting what HAS happened even if that seems to be "making sin real", and even if it seems somehow to be giving the ego a whole lot of credit. What's the alternative, hide from the ego and hurl abuse at it from the mountain top? Or should we own what we've done to ourselves?

ACIM on the one hand is saying things like, "its not real, it hasn't happened, it's not true, the world is a dream, it's all an illusion, nothing is wrong, there is no death" etc. But this is higher level truth. On the physical level there is much that is wrong, and there is death, and people are sick.

Jesus refers to avoiding the "facts" of the world as "a particularly unworthy form of denial." Such as trying to deny that bodies exist. Yes ultimately they don't, but that's not your experience right now. Death does appear to happen. If you deny that you will suffer MORE than if you had accepted it. The person that dies is dead, physically at least. And that has to be acknowledged. No amount of running away from it into the mind's fantasies will undo that fact.

While it is not pleasant, we do have to stop being in denial. We have to stop avoiding what's happened or happening. It's not spiritual, it's a bypass. A mis-use of ACIM's teachings has led me and many people to try living on a cloud in avoidance of the battleground, rather than to take a good hard look at the battleground. It takes some deep soul-searching to admit to this.

We can't get to the "forgiven world" without being willing to look at it through the eyes of Christ. And that does mean looking at it, not looking away from it. It means staring it down. Being aware of all the nasty shit that is happening. Looking at it with Christ so that we translate it into a more tolerable interpretation, NOT as a bypass or an avoidance or a defense or an attempt to put some distance between you and the facts.

"Let all things be exactly as they are."

"The fear of healing arises in the end from an unwillingness to accept the unequivocal fact that healing is necessary. The fear arises because of the necessary willingness to look at what man has done to himself."

"The Separation HAS occurred. To deny this is merely to misuse denial. However, to concentrate on error is merely a further misuse of legitimate psychic mechanisms. The true corrective procedure, which has already been described as the proper use of the spiritual eye (or true vision), is to accept the error temporarily, BUT ONLY as an indication that IMMEDIATE correction is mandatory. This establishes a state of mind in which the Atonement can be accepted without delay."

"Perhaps it will be helpful to remember that no-one can be angry at a fact. It is always an interpretation that gives rise to negative emotions, regardless of their seeming justification by what appear as facts."

"But it is true that the world must be looked at differently, if His promises are to be accepted. What the world is, is but a fact. You cannot choose what this should be. But you can choose how you would see it. Indeed, you must choose this."

"How can a fact be fearful, unless it DISAGREES with what you hold more dear than truth? Reason will tell you that this fact is your RELEASE."

"The body is merely a fact. Its ABILITIES can be, and frequently are, over-evaluated. However, it is almost impossible to deny its existence. Those who do are engaging in a particularly unworthy form of denial."

"What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything which happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to Eternal Life."

If you believe bodies and sickness are real, you will look upon bodies suffering and want to fix them. The nightmare of things going wrong compels you to do something in guilt and desperation. So you try to heal, but you are simultaneously reinforcing the sickness with a belief in it. You attack the sickness to try to destroy it, and fight against it wishing it would leave.

Some small measure of healing can be possible this way, beacuse there is at least a partial desire to heal and help, and this can have some effect. But it is thwarted by the conviction that it won't work, based on an ongoing attack upon the victim.

By seeing them as a body, and as sick, as if true, you pull them down from being an immortal perfect Christ being in heaven and frame them as weak and suffering, which is an attempt to weaken and destroy them.

True healing completely ignores the sickness, recognizing that sickness and bodies are lies. They are not true or real, and what they present is a decoy designed to tempt you away from the truth. The bodies screams with its fits of proclamation as to what is wrong with a person and all the ways the are guilty.

To heal is to look past this with forgiveness, to not be deceived and to not listen to what the body says is true. The forms of sickness do not matter, the type of sickness does not matter, the alleged severety or length does not matter, and how it seemed to arrive deos not matter.

Instead the healer looks to the truth and focuses only on what is actually real, not deceived by false illusions. You look for the fact that the person in God's creation is already perfect, already immortal, already unharmed and already whole. This IS the truth about them, which their body and sickness are designed to hide.

So you must recognize that the sickness is a deceptive lie, a form of denial, covering up the truth that the person is NOT sick at all. The mind is playing games and covering over perfection with imperfection. Our focus should be only on the perfection of the person.

In fact, in truth, this means the person does not really need to be healed, because their spiritual self is still as it always was - perfect and unchanging, incapable of sickness, unable to die, and always the same. It is only their mind which seems distorted and lost, trying to form pictures of suffering that don't apply.

By focusing on the true light of the person you become glad and thankful to God that he has blessed you with this divine holy gift that is your brother. And so your brother is seen as YOUR savior and healer. And by thus recognizing his changeless perfection, he shares that perfection from God with you and you reflect it back to him.

As you become aware in your mind of the Holy Spirit in him, the changeless perfection in him, and given that your light IS your brother's light, and your mind IS part of his mind, you lift up his mind FOR him and help him to remember his own light. He thus is healed because you saw him AS healed, which is a fact and a truth and a reality, and not a wish or a desire. Something to recognize.

By recognizing that your brother is healed, this strengthens his view of himself in what seems to be his own mind, because your minds are shared. And so he is resurrected in your sight and the shining of this light INTO his mind AS his own shared light and identity, prevents him from having such strong belief in his own separation.

True healing is thus the extending and sharing of light and power and life from your mind into your brother's mind to enlighten and brighten his mind so that he can see his own perfection.

"Healing ONLY STRENGTHENS. Magic always tries to weaken. Healing perceives NOTHING in the healer that everyone else does not share WITH him. Magic ALWAYS sees something special in the healer, which he believes he can offer as a gift to someone who does NOT have it."

"You might well ask why SOME healing CAN result from this kind of thinking, and there is a real reason for this. However misguided the "magical healer" may be, and however much he may be trying to strengthen his ego, HE IS ALSO TRYING TO HELP. He IS conflicted and unstable, but AT TIMES he is offering SOMETHING to the Sonship, and the ONLY thing the Sonship can ACCEPT IS healing."

"Learning is constant and so vital in its power for change that a Son of God can recognize his power in an instant, and change the world in the next. That is because by changing HIS mind he has changed the most powerful device that was ever created FOR change."

"When you heal, that is exactly what you ARE learning (doing). You are recognizing the changeless mind in your brother by perceiving (knowing) that he could NOT have changed his mind. That is how you perceive the Holy Spirit in him. It is ONLY the Holy Spirit in him that never changes His mind. He himself must think he CAN, or he would not perceive himself as sick. He therefore does not know what his self IS. If YOU see only the changeless in him, you have not really changed him at all. But by changing your mind about HIS FOR him, you help him undo the change his ego thinks it has made in him."

"Our brothers ARE forgetful. That is why they need your remembrance of Me and Him who created Me. Through this remembrance you can change THEIR minds about themselves, as I can change YOURS. Your minds are so powerful a light that you can look into theirs and enlighten them, as I can enlighten yours."

"The mind WE share IS shared by all our brothers, and as we see them truly, they WILL be healed. Let YOUR minds shine with mine upon their minds, and by our gratitude to them make THEM aware of the light in THEM. This light will shine back upon YOU and on the whole Sonship because this IS your proper gift to God."

"If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick. The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH. The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs, because that light IS theirs."

"But forgiveness looks past bodies. This is its holiness; this is how it heals."

"When I am healed, I am not healed alone."

"Healing is an act of thought by which two minds perceive their oneness, and become glad. This gladness calls to every part of the Sonship to rejoice with them, and let God Himself go out into them and through them."

"The miracle-worker begins by PERCEIVING light, and translates HIS perception into sureness by continually extending it, and ACCEPTING ITS ACKNOWLEDGMENT. Its EFFECTS assure him IT IS THERE. The therapist does not heal; he LETS HEALING BE. HE can point to darkness, but he CANNOT bring light OF HIMSELF, for light is NOT of him. But being FOR him, it MUST be for his patient."

"Consciousness was the first split that man introduced into himself. He became a PERCEIVER rather than a creator in the true sense."

In ACIM terms, before the separation from God, we simply enjoyed what Jesus calls "awareness". This awareness is tightly tied into oneness and knowledge.

In awareness, you ARE that which you are aware of. There is nothing truly "separate" to observe that isn't already you. Since you ARE that which you are aware of, you have immediate and direct "knowledge" of it. Thus knowledge and awareness and oneness is all tied together.

Awareness also has power and love and creation in it. It can cause by will the creation of extensions to God's kingdom. It extends ITSELF as a co-creator, also extending God, to KNOW that which it creates. Just as God created US through directly KNOWING us.

"God knows His Children with perfect certainty. He Created them by knowing them."

In the separation, we attempted to reject all this. We rejected oneness and introduced separation. This now meant that we wanted something to "come between" ourselves and ourselves. Between us and God. Something which can be different over here than it is over there.

As a result, mind split and now formed what ACIM refers to as "consciousness". It's a separated state. The mind in this state is NOT creative, and does NOT have knowledge. Instead of being causal and powerful and one with everything, it is instead a state relying entirely on maintaining separation.

"Consciousness is correctly identified as the domain of the ego." At the same time of course the sense of identity went from you being the whole, to you being only a part. And now in the egoic consciousness state of mind, the mind became UN-creative (mis-creative) and unwilling to be one with everything.

Mind's rejection of creation and knowledge was kind of like trying to make the mind empty, or to stop broadcasting (creating). So instead of extending and uniting and sharing, it became sort of passive and unwilling.

As a result, mind now regards itself as a sort of RECEIVER of inputs, signals, which come to it from something it regards as NOT part of itself. Not one with itself or known. As such there now develops ideas of space and time, of distance and delay, or separateness between self and brothers and God.

"Perception is a RESULT not a cause."

"Consciousness is thus the level of perception, but NOT of knowledge. Again, to PERCEIVE is NOT to know."

"Consciousness is the level which engages in the world, and is capable of responding to both external and internal impulses. Having no impulses from itself, and being primarily a mechanism for inducing response, it can be very wrong."

The perceiving "consciousness" state has now gone from being a powerful knowing creator-extender that is one with everything, to a disempowered passive state that doesn't know anything and sees everything as separate. Effectively it now sees itself as a victim or at the EFFECT OF things separate from itself.

Signals then enter the conscious mind either from without or within, and from the superconscious (God level) or subconscious (miracle level). Consciousness sort of RECEIVES these signals and thus PERCEIVES what it is TOLD exists. As though something outside of itself is making impressions upon it and giving it signals and telling it that stuff exists.

All of these signals in the perceiving mind are SENSED, in particular by the body. There is now a separation between self and other, so a separation between observer (who has awareness) and the observed. Because of the separation split between these two, it introduces the delay and distance of spacetime.

As such, every single physical object, all matter, space and time themselves, all human bodies, the planet Earth, the sun and moon etc, it's all ONLY a perceptual signal occurring in a state of separation. Separate things, being sensed by a separated mind, in a state in which the mind is not ONE with those things, and in which both the separated things AND the "separate observer" (ego) are illusions.

Both the ego mind (separated self) and the world it perceives (spacetime) depend entirely on maintaining separation and differences in order to maintain the mind split that leads to perception and consciousness. Without this "first split" in the mind, consciousness is not possible, perception is not possible, and separate objects are not possible.

This doesn't mean that the separate objects can be perceived "as one with" the observer. If the two are separate, perception is possible. If the two are one, perception is NOT possible and separation is NOT possible and OBJECTS are not possible. Matter is not possible, space and time are not possible, without a split mind.

"To see a sinless body is impossible."

"Since perception rests on lack, those who perceive have not totally accepted the Atonement and given over themselves to truth. Perception IS a separated state, and the perceiver DOES need healing."

Thus if you are still perceiving, you are NOT knowing. Even true perception is NOT knowledge, not oneness, and not a healed mind. Thus you can seem to wake up to or attain very high states of CONSCIOUSNESS, in which you can perceive the "real world", BUT, this is not the same as the realm of total oneness which is heaven.

"Even the perception of the Holy Spirit, as perfect as perception CAN be, is without meaning in Heaven. Perception can reach EVERYWHERE under His guidance, for the vision of Christ beholds EVERYTHING in light. But no perception, however holy, will last FOREVER."

Waking up WITHIN consciousness, in a perceptual realm, is still a split-minded state of separation. Only when consciousness ENDS, the split is entirely healed, and separateness becomes impossible, does the mind return to TOTAL KNOWLEDGE, oneness, perception is impossible, and space and time are impossible. Without the split of consciousness, there is no world. And the mind must wake up FROM consciousness in order to return to the awareness of reality.

No more dreams, no more material objects with differences, no more bodies and planets, no more observers and observed things. Only a directly known realm of SPIRIT AND LIGHT, created by God to last forever.

"To perceive the truth is not the same as knowing it."

"And now God's KNOWLEDGE, changeless, certain, pure and wholly understandable, enters its Kingdom. Gone is perception, false and true alike. Gone is forgiveness, for its task is done. And gone are bodies in the blazing light upon the altar to the Son of God. God knows it is His Own, as it is his. And here They join, for here the face of Christ has shone away time's final instant, and now is the last perception of the world without a purpose and without a cause. For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever."

"The intrusion of the ability to perceive, which is inherently judgmental, was introduced only after the Separation. No one has been sure of anything since then. You will also remember that I made it very clear that the Resurrection was the return to knowledge, which was accomplished by the union of my will with the Father's."

Nightmares and happy dreams have one thing in common, they are both dreams. It cannot be the fact that it is a dream that determines whether it is happy or not. It also can't really be a matter of what the dream depicts as happening.

A dream of a beach with a nice sunset and lapping waves might be regarded as a happy dream, while a plane crash with broken bodies strewn upon the ground might be considered an unhappy dream. But this is not really what makes a dream happy or not. If you think the form of what happens determines whether you are happy, you are being a victim of the world and are blind.

There can be an illusion of happiness, whereby a dream takes on a form of happy things, or things we think of as positive or uplifting. And there can be an illusion of unhappiness, whereby a dream takes on forms we do not like such as things going wrong. And likely we will decide only to be happy along with happy things, and to be upset around the bad stuff.

But what really determines whether we are in a nightmare or a happy dream has a lot more to do with one factor alone: HOW REAL IS IT. It's not a matter of what the dream is about or what it depicts, which is a trap easily fallen into. Dreams going in your favor are a trap just as much as evil doings.

Dreams are always essentially always dreams of death. They are dreams of death because reality, which is the opposite of dreams, is always eternal life. Every dream has underpinnings of separation and conflict.

"Death is the central dream from which all illusions stem."

So in effect, every dream you have has its basis in the separation from God, in opposition to God's nature, and in the idea of an opposite to eternal life. The themes of dreams, even the ones with the seashores and sunsets, are still rooted in some degree of separation.

What makes a dream a dream is that it opposes reality. It is a protest against reality. It's an attempt to turn reality into something unreal, something impossible, and something unnatural. Even if a dream is not real or is recognized as not real, it will always feature things happening which cannot happen in God's reality.

It isn't so much the fact that strange and unnatural things happen in dreams, because if you were to recognize it's just a dream you would laugh it off. It's more to do with the fact that you take it seriously.

A dream which is believed to be real, is given far more weight than a dream that is recognized as nothing. A real dream becomes a nightmare. If it is real, then everything that happens in it is true. If it is true, then all the experiences are real threats, real dangers, real awful situations, and real horrors.

The mind then experiences them as if reality is now a horrifying, twisted, unnatural but nevertheless real thing. As if it's true that someone has died a horrible death, or its true that everyone died in the plane crash, or its true that there was a revolting murder. Only IF IT IS TRUE does the dream upset you.

What ACIM is telling us then, is that since we're appearing to live in a dream world, a seemingly waking dream of Earth, if we believe it is real and true it will seem like a nightmare. Sometimes it will seem tolerable if the events taking place are regarded as safer, but it won't be long before it comes up with some new problems or disasters.

"The world was made that problems could not BE escaped. Be not deceived by all the different names its roads are given. They have but one end. And each is but the means to GAIN that end, for it is here that all its roads will lead, however differently they seem to start; however differently they seem to go. Their end is certain, for there is no choice among them. All of them will lead to death. On some you travel gaily for a while, before the bleakness enters. And on some the thorns are felt at once. The choice is not WHAT will the ending be, but WHEN it comes."

You can be sure then that the world is setup to be highly problematic, with temporarily illusions of reprieve and peace, in between vast hordes of horrors and stresses. But what determines whether it UPSETS you is whether your mind believes it is REAL or not. What makes it a living hell, is not so much what happens, but WHETHER it really happens. Whether it is true or not.

A happy dream then isn't so much a dream where nice stuff happens and you have a gap in between the world going to shit, because the world is permanently shit. It's more a matter of a mindset or way of looking at the world, in which it is not GIVEN reality or truth or power, and so it is recognized as not having any.

It cannot upset you because you don't choose to use it to do so. It does not hurt you because you know you can only hurt yourself by believing the world is capable of real harm. It cannot make you sick or die unless you use the world as a prop to pretend that you, as an immortal being, can suffer and die.

So what once would've been interpreted as a nightmare, comes to be reinterpreted as harmless, because you have lifted away from it the one thing that ever made it dangerous - the idea that it is REALLY HAPPENING. If the world is nothing BUT a dream, and is regarded correctly as NOT REAL AT ALL, then nothing in it can threaten you, hurt you, make you sick, or destroy you.

A happy dream is a dream thus in which your mind is free from the world because it does not GIVE it any reality, power or truth. It has power OVER the world because of this. You are now recognizing yourself as the dreamer of A DREAM, and not of a reality. And no nightmare can remain a nightmare when its heavy darkness is lifted away by the light of truth.

"There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."

"The happy dream about him takes the form of the appearance of his perfect health; his perfect freedom from all forms of lack; and safety from disaster of all kinds."

"Salvation is a paradox indeed! What could it be EXCEPT a happy dream? For you are asked but to forgive all things that no-one ever did; to overlook what is not there; and not to look upon the unreal as reality."

"That is why forgiveness of another is an illusion. Yet it is the only happy dream in all the world; the only one that does not lead to death." "In your relationship, the Holy Spirit has gently laid the real world; the world of happy dreams, from which awaking is so easy and so natural."

Something just popped into my mind on our lovely walk home from the cafe.... there are different LEVELS of forgiveness.

The dream was created through this process:

Separation idea > sin > guilt > fear of punishment > death.

At each of these 'stages' there are different kinds of perceptions and choices being made for different reasons. When we're in the world faced with something that seems upsetting, it's usually an experience somewhere between the last two stages - fear and death. When we apply forgiveness, we tend to work on undoing the projections of fear, and perhaps if we dig deeper we undo some of the projections of guilt as well.

But what I found myself noticing was, I don't often get even deeper into the undoing of sin, or deeper than that - the undoing of the idea of separation.

The idea of separation entails our CHOICE to be separate from God, which was a disowning of responsibility and a desire to be different. If I am to take 100% responsibility for what I've chosen, realizing I've only done this to myself, I have to take my forgiveness ALL the way to that original 'source point' in my mind - the decision to die - to be opposite of Life.

So if I'm mainly caught up in forgiving projections and blame, that's helpful but it's maybe confined to some of the 'lower levels' or more external levels of the mind. I need to go deeper. I need to get to where I can see that I CHOSE everything about this because I wanted to be separate. That's the 'root cause' in my mind. I need to admit that I wanted to deny God and wanted to be dead. That's the pivotal point. To get there I need to make sure I am undoing the layers of fear and guilt but also the layer of a belief in sin and come to realize that this is ALL something I chose to do to myself.

Undoing fear: Seems fairly simple, recognizing we're choosing to be afraid and are projecting causes for it outside of ourselves. I can take that back. But I might still believe someone is guilty, maybe myself.

Undoing guilt: I need to now see that I'm not guilty, or at least that guilt is stemming from a sense of sin. I'm afraid because I feel guilty. Well, I need to get past feeling guilty. And as I get past it I'm going to confront a deeper level - a sense of having sinned. The reason WHY I'm guilty. And that deeper level is going to seem even MORE upsetting to admit to. Layers of fear and guilt are weaker than the layer of sin, which is also weaker than the layer of separation. These surface layers were made to cover up the deeper layers and make them more palatable.

Undoing sin: Now I'm aware that I believe I really did something bad, that it cannot be healed, that it cannot be undone or reversed. Something I'm ashamed of and guilty for. Something that supposedly 'happened'. I need to undo that and get past this perception that it's permanent, unhealable, irreversible and has had a real serious effect. This is digging into the depths of 'what I've done' and the root of my guilt. And this should lead me to ask, why did I sin in the first place? It seems like I as I progress here I should be finding out that I am more innocent, but so far it seems I'm more to blame. But I'm moving past it. It's difficult to admit to guilt, but even harder to admit to sin. The ego says, see, you shouldn't have looked at the guilt because now you've uncovered a deeper darker layer of horror. But we can move past this - we have to. Because underneath the idea that 'we really did this' (sin) is an even darker idea - that we WANTED to be separate.

Undoing separation: Sin can only arise out of some kind of separation idea, which actually is a CHOICE and DECISION to be separate. I must've wanted to sin. I must've wanted to do this, to be sinful. So underneath the sin is a choice. It's the awareness that I DID THIS TO MYSELF ON PURPOSE, for a reason. And what is that reason? Why would I separate? I have to own up to this. I wanted to be separate because I wanted to deny that God exists so that I could have an ego. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be not loved. I wanted to die. If I can't get all the way to seeing that I made this choice, then I am not going to truly be ready to COMPLETELY RELINQUISH it. I need to admit to all of the sorrow that came from this choice, and that the choice was mine. Nobody else was to blame. No-one did this to me. I wanted it. And now I'm realizing it hasn't worked - because sin hasn't really worked - and I'm not guilty, and don't need to be afraid or get punished. I'd rather be happy. I might as well give up, surrender this choice, and CHOOSE AGAIN.

And it's at that point that you actually fully let go of the decision for separation, which dissolves the ego and unifies you with God.

So as I forgive now I plan to remind myself of this - exactly how deep am I willing to go in forgiving? Am I just giving up surface projections or am I willing to get all the way to the CORE IDEA - the death wish - the decision to be without God? And am I willing to let that go. Having let go of all the projections and blame and consequences of ALL the other levels, I should be ready to squarely admit to and own up to this decision, and subsequently choose differently. I'd rather choose Holy Spirit's truth at this point and join with His version of the truth and ACCEPT GOD instead of trying to deny God. ACCEPTING GOD is ACCEPTING THE ATONEMENT.

So it seems that as we dig deeper, we uncover darker and more vicious levels of disaster. First it was palatable fear, then some tolerable guilt, but now it's serious sin and hate, and beneath that - a death wish, a desire to be without God on purpose. That's not easy to want to look at or to admit to. And it can seem like the worst thing you could possibly admit - that I wanted this suffering - I wanted to not be with God. I wanted to get rid of God. Or even as some describe it - a murderous thought - the desire to kill God's son. Pretty heavy stuff! We need to come to admit to this so that we choose differently. If I can't own up to having made this CHOICE then I'm not going to be able to UNDO that choice and choose God/Atonement instead. And if I don't, I will continue to die. It IS a life-or-death decision, although we must remember death is an illusion.

So the choice is up to us. Do we want to accept God again and allow Him to love us, or do we want to keep choosing suffering and despair and lack and destruction? It's up to us.

The secret of salvation tells you "you're doing this to yourself". ACIM also tells you "you but accuse your brother of your own sins." It also tells you that you "look within first" and then project outward, producing perception.

So the thing is, you START by attacking yourself first, accusing your self of sin. Then you look within. Then you project your own sin out. Then you find yourself in a situation where you seem to have to "forgive someone else", or at least begin the process of realizing it's not about them, taking back the projection, and then looking at why YOU are innocent.

But really most of the time we spend in undoing all this projected crap, it's not really even the original problem. The original problem is that we do not love ourselves. We attack ourselves. We have judged and condemned ourselves. We've believed ourselves to be unworthy of love and forgiveness. And it's only later that this becomes projected onto the world and other people, which produces a mess we have to then clean up before we can even home in on the real issue.

If you think about it, your only job then really involves the forgiving of YOUR SELF, which would automatically remove the need to project sin onto others in the first place. Your SELF ATTACK needs to be undone, in order to have no sin TO project. And if you are not experiencing love, it is because you have not forgiven YOUR SELF. You have blocks to the awareness of love's presence because you do not believe you deserve to be loved. You don't love other people because you hate yourself first.

Forgiveness is not really complete until you return to a state of love, whether it seems to be about another person or yourself. Only when you can love the person that was an enemy, are you fully done forgiving them, and now welcome them with open arms. If you do not love yourself, it's because you have not forgiven yourself fully. Which means that you have grievances against yourself. You have beliefs about your own sinfulness. You are convinced of your own unworthiness and are hurting yourself.

If you were to address this actual problem, this inner self hatred, this suicidal self-abuse, the secret sins and hidden hates, not even on a basis of feeling guilty about accusing your brother of it, it would clear everything up. Jesus says you don't have to seek for love, you just need to remove the barriers you've built against it. Those barriers are barriers against YOU, against loving yourself. They are within you. And it's only later that you project them as a hellish world in ways that interfere with your relationships.

You are the one who needs to forgive, and you are the one who needs to be forgiven. By yourself. You need to learn to stop unloving yourself. You need to find out all the ways that you do not love yourself or are unwilling to do so. And they will indicate all the ways that you do not want to love others because YOU do not believe YOU deserve to receive love. And then you need to undo that belief so that you can recognize your entitlement to love.

Miracles function by applying to both YOU AND another. And so your unwillingness or inability to love another is only evidence of your unwillingness to love yourself. You would have to love yourself at the same time as loving them, and so you do not love them, because to love them you'd have to love yourself. And so you hold back your love of others because you don't want to love yourself. You are unwilling to love yourself because you hate yourself. And Jesus tells us not to underestimate the sheer extent of this hatred.

Ultimately though, the key is, that by recognizing you do this attack to yourself, the secret of salvation can offer you a way out. By healing your relationship WITH YOURSELF, by allowing yourself to receive love, by loving your own self first, you will automatically see the world differently. You will see a forgiven world only because YOU are forgiven. You will see forgiven brothers only because YOU have forgiven yourself. You will see a reflection of God in the world ONLY because within you you have no sin and guilt and God (love) is accepted as present in your mind, and so is projected onto the world.

It seems incredibly simple when you get down to it. So much ego time is spent lost and confused and caught up in external problems and other people and dramas and all these projected forms of your own self attack, such that it makes it seem most of the time it's not even about you. But its ONLY YOU that needs to get healed FIRST, to accept atonement FOR YOUR SELF, so that you can in turn be available to heal and help others. To offer love to them, you have to have love to give, and you can't have love to give when you don't acknowledge your own lovability.

You don't even really need to deal with trying to "forgive others" or to "forgive the world" or to "be more loving toward people". What you really need to focus on is getting your self to be more loved, by YOU. To find out why your relationship WITH YOURSELF is broken. To find out why and where you hate yourself, how you are denying yourself, and why you don't want to admit to being God's beloved child. All the rest is an ego distraction and a form of denial, an attempt to pass the buck and make the problem be outside your mind so that your own self attack remains hidden.

When YOUR mind gets corrected, your PERCEPTION will get corrected too. "Perception is a RESULT, not a cause". Perception doesn't even need to be "worked on". There is a massive amount of distraction with people thinking that they have to fix and shift their perception. You cannot DIRECTLY shift perception because it is a SIDE EFFECT. Spiritual perception is a RESULT of fixing YOUR BELIEFS about YOURSELF. It's what you sense AFTER you have looked within and have projected your inner world outward. As a man thinketh, about himself, so does he perceive.

This is all an inside job. YOUR MIND has shit in it that needs healing. All the world related to your self and the healing of yourself is entirely within you. You can use holy relationships or guidance or whatever else help along the way but ultimately, simplifying it greatly, Jesus is just asking you to 1) get yourself back to love and 2) then you'll share that love with others automatically.

Love goes out automatically because of its nature, and you don't even need to make it do that. It has its own function to do that. You just need to stop blocking it. And you do that by forgiving yourself for what YOU have not done. When you see your own sinlessness you'll see the sinlessness of your brother. When you see your own innocence you will see his. Once you do that, the rest will take care of itself. Seek the Kingdom of God within you and the whole world will be made forgiven.

Time for another super-radical teaching!!!

There is no LIFE outside of Heaven. This world is not ALIVE. Bodies do not LIVE. "Life forms" are really "death forms". All forms are illusions. Bodies do not exist. Bodies are nothing, they neither live or die. Animals are not life. Humans are not life. The planet is not alive. This is a dream of death.

First of all, God did not create this world. As stated here:

"The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever. Some things will last in time a little while longer than others. But the time will come when all things visible will have an end."

Second of all, only that which is made of light (spirit) is LIFE, as stated here:

"Only the creations of light are real."

Third, LIFE means eternal life. Life is EXTENSION of God. Only in pure extension is there eternal life. Anything that is even slightly short of eternal life, is NOT life. Anything which does not have eternal life, does not have life AT ALL because it must be an illusion of an opposite to life.

"Either all things have eternal life or all things must die."

Fourth, bodies do not really exist an are not real. They do not live because they are illusions. As nothing, they do not have a life of their own. God did not create ANY KIND of body. Humans, or animals, or planets.

"The body neither lives nor dies, it is nothing."

"God did not create the body." "Love did not make the body."

Fifth, this extends to ALL FORMS and bodies. Animals, plants, fish, insects, humans, planets, the rules are the same. These are not forms of life. They are illusions in a dream. They might seem like life but they are not. How can an illusion be alive? What appears to be life is an illusion of something living that is not. To see bodies is deceiving. Nothing so blinding as perception of form.

"There IS no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In any state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it SEEMS LIKE LIFE; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments ON WHAT IS NOT LIFE, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning. Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is not in Heaven is not anywhere. Outside of Heaven, only the conflict of illusions stands; senseless, impossible and beyond all reason, and yet perceived as an eternal barrier to Heaven. Illusions ARE but forms. Their content is NEVER true."

The eternal barrier is the Earth and this universe. All physical objects. All illusions are forms. Their content is NEVER true.

Sixth, this is a dream of death. Death is the CENTRAL ILLUSION from which all others stem. That means EVERY illusion is an illusion of death. Anything even slightly less than immortality, is death. Even a slight headache is death. "Sickness is but a little death." Jesus also redefines death as anything that isn’t pure joy. Even a slight upset is death. A minor grievance is death. All forms are death forms. Bodies do not live. "Let the dead bury the dead."

Seventh, the body is the central figure in dreaming. There is no dream without it, and it depends on the dream entirely. NOR DOES IT EXIST without the dream. This means that when dreaming ends, which it MUST when you wake up, all stuff "made of dream stuff" MUST disappear. "The body is a dream". A dream of life, made of illusions, which denies life and Heaven, which must be death, is not ALIVE. Only that which is soul or mind is alive. Spirit is life.

Eigth, the body, as an illusion, cannot exist outside of dreaming. This applies to human bodies, animal bodies, and planetary bodies, and bacteria and fungus. All parts of MATTER are not life. It is a picture of crucifixion. A picture of death. Without illusions, bodies cannot exist or seem to. When all of your illusions are gone, and you are no longer asleep dreaming, the body must vanish. It literally disappears.

"The body cannot stay without illusions, and the last one to be overcome is death."

"Illusions recognized must disappear."

"The body's eyes are therefore not the means by which the real world can be seen, for the illusions that they look upon must lead to more illusions of reality. And so they do."

Ninth, "to see a sinless body is impossible." All bodies are made of sin. The body’s eyes look upon sin and fail to see past it. The granite block of sin is PHYSICAL MATTER which the body looks upon and fails to see past, stopping at the outer surface of nothing. Sin is literally embodied as forms. All forms are forms of error. To forgive is to OVERLOOK. To see PAST bodies to reality. If you see a body, including animal bodies, you are blinded by sight of form. All bodies are sin. They cannot be redeemed, only overlooked.

"The body is the idea of sin made flesh and projected outwards."

"Sin gave the body eyes, for what is there the sinless would behold? What need have they of sights or sounds or touch?"

"The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there were a body is sin possible."

Tenth, being WITHOUT a body is NATURAL. Bodies are UNNATURAL. What we call "nature" is NOT natural. It is totally unnatural. It is chaos. The nature of this universe is OPPOSITE to the nature of Heaven. It is against God’s nature. The world was made as an attack on God. Even with True Perception, this world is STILL SIN.

"To be without a body is to be in our natural state. To recognize the light of truth in us is to recognize ourselves as we are. "

"The laws of this world go against your nature."

Eleventh, there is no world. The world is nothing. It does not exist. Anything within it must not be life, because life exists forever, and this would prevent the world from being nothing. "The world will spin into the nothingness from which it came." "The time will come when all things visible will end." If this world does not exist, it is not life, so it must be death. The end of death is the end of this universe. The end of the dream of death.

"And the last illusion to be overcome will be death."

"A world forgiven cannot last. It was the home of bodies. But forgiveness looks past bodies."

"And gone are bodies in the blazing light upon the altar to the Son of God. God knows it is His Own, as it is his"

"For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever."

Only heaven is real. Only the truth is true. Everything there extends forever. Extension of life is eternal life. Lack of extension is MAKING. "The world you made" is made, not created, so it has no eternal life and lacks life. Thus no life at all. It is an illusion of life. A dream of death.

"Here He leans down to lift you up to Him, out of illusions into holiness; out of the world and to eternity; out of all fear and given back to love."

Resurrection is the return TO life, the return to Heaven. It surmounts death, therefore overcomes the world. Here the curriculum ends.

"Very simply, the resurrection is the overcoming or surmounting of death"

"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely."

God‘s "living world of light" is ALIVE! You are there. You have eternal life. To sleep is to be unconscious. Unconsciousness is death. A waking dream is still a dream. The end of sleep is the end of dreaming and the end of death. To awaken is to return to life.

"All living hearts are tranquil with a stir of deep anticipation, for the time of everlasting things is now at hand. There is no death. The Son of God is free."

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. 2 God made no contradictions. 3 What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. 4 He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way."

An opposite of Heaven is an opposite of life. Earth is the opposite of Heaven and is the opposite of life. It will never be life. It does not exist. There is no world. There is no life outside of Heaven.

"Accepting the Atonement teaches you WHAT IMMORTALITY IS" UrT11J13

Let's look at the really big picture.

You are an immortal being with eternal life that lives in God forever. You cannot change or be changed. You are permanent and fixed. You cannot be altered, you cannot suffer, you cannot be affected, you cannot be hurt or damaged, you cannot be sick or die. Nothing can ever happen to you or disturb your peace. You are real, and nothing real can be threatened.

The so-called separation from God was an attempt to BE MORTAL. To invent death. It is a belief in EVERY single form imaginable of something OPPOSITE to your immortal nature. An insinuation, a lie, and a denial, that you can in fact "be changed", that you can be affected, victimised, hurt, damaged, broken, or even made to be sick, or even destroyed completely by death.

The entire world of space and time and everything in it was entry into a "dream of death", in which every single aspect is part of the attempt to believe that you are NOT immortal.

Even the slightest hint of fear is evidence of believing that you might not live forever. The slightest twinge of sickness is an attempt to PROVE that you can be hurt. The merest disturbance to your total peace signals a sense that somehow, in some way, your eternal extension and permanence MIGHT be in question.

And so as we entered into the separation, the tiny mad idea, we thought to ourselves that MAYBE we might not last forever. Maybe we could be changed, maybe we could alter ourselves even, maybe we could be changed by something other than ourselves. And maybe this would bring into question who and what we are, questioning even our permanence and eternal life.

This gave rise of course to fear, because the merest hint of a belief that you might not live forever induces a sense of threat to your existence, which frightens you. So we entered the "detour into fear", the "dream of death", an attempt to play a game of mortality.

We made this world, came to this world, to question our very NATURE. To draw into doubt what we are, and whether we can be what we are. We undermined ourselves. We attacked our own invulnerability. We tried to make ourselves into something that COULD be attacked, could be hurt, could suffer in some way.

So now when you look at the world and you look at ALL the massive number of forms of suffering, all fears, all victimhood, all sense of threat and danger, all sicknesses and mental illnesses, all death and destruction, every problem, all conflicts and competitions, all war and disagreement, every single nuance of body identification and believing you might be affected by something, is ALL merely a symptom of "trying to die". Trying to NOT BE IMMORTAL.

The solution to all this madness - the acceptance of the atonement - requires us to RELINQUISH DEATH in all its many forms. It requires us to ACCEPT once again that we are PURELY AND ONLY immortal beings with eternal life. It requires us to completely reject EVERY single little speck of a belief that says anything to the contrary.

All victimhood, all fears, all attack, all guilts and sins, all sense of suffering, all sense of threat and danger, all bodily identification, all belief in separations and conflicts, even the belief in change, all of it has to be questioned and let go. So that ALL that remains of you, all that you ARE, is your PURE immortal eternal self - the Christ - the soul, which resides in heaven with God PERMANENTLY safe and permanently alive.

You are life itself. You are eternal life. You are immortality. You are extension. You are the openness to never-ending. And because you know deep in your being that you are absolutely BEYOND all possible threats to your eternal nature, you are in a state of absolute peace and happiness. Not a single hint of threat, no danger, no concerns, no problems, no doubts, no suffering, no possibility of changing, not even the slightest hint of death in any form whatsoever.

You continue on. You are the immortal son of God. You have lived forever and you will always live forever. This is the central CORE TRUTH that the course is leading us to. Wake up to KNOW THYSELF AS YOU ARE IN GOD. The perfect pure immortal eternal being that is utterly beyond every form of death and every form of suffering forever, in total peace and absolute certainty. There is no death, the Son of God is free.

"This is the anti-Christ; the strange idea there is a power PAST omnipotence, a place BEYOND the infinite, a time transcending the eternal. Here the world of idols has been set by the idea this power and place and time are given form, and shape the world where the impossible has happened. Here the deathless come to die; the all-encompassing to suffer loss; the timeless to be made the slaves of time. Here does the changeless change; the peace of God, forever given to all living things, give way to chaos. And the Son of God, as perfect, sinless, and as loving as his Father, come to hate a little while; to suffer pain, and finally to die." URT29I

"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you." UrW191L9

"Judgment is but a toy, a whim, the senseless means to play the idle game of death in your imagination." UrT20I7

"The Son of Life cannot BE killed. He is immortal as his Father. What he is cannot be changed. He is the only thing in all the universe that MUST be One." UrT29G1

"Nothing the world believes is true. It is a place whose purpose is to be a home where those who claim they do not know themselves can come to question what it is they are." UrW139L6

"You are not sick, and you cannot die. But you CAN confuse your self with things that do." UrT9K8

"The graciousness of God will take them gently in, and cover all their sense of pain and loss, with the immortal assurance of their Father's Love." UrT14E4

"You are immortal BECAUSE you are eternal, and always MUST be now." UrT11J12

"What is immortal cannot BE attacked; what is but temporal HAS no effect." UrT25H5

"My brothers, children of our Father, this is a DREAM of death. " UrT19J7

"And we will sleep no more and dream of death. " UrW191L10

"For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever." UrU5A7

The separation from God, we did a big switcheroo. We swapped everything true for everything false, and vice versa. That makes our mind insane, because it means we no longer recognize what anything actually is.

To our insane mind, we see everything opposite to what it is, because the mind is trying to oppose reality.

God is regarded as evil, the Holy Spirit as an enemy, heaven as hell, eternal life as death.

Similarly evil is regarded as benevolence, death is thought to be life, suffering is atonement, and sickness is a way to exist longer.

The mind in this insane twisted state is very confused.

"You HAVE carried the ego's reasoning to its logical conclusion, which is TOTAL CONFUSION ABOUT EVERYTHING." UrT7J9

If you can imagine then, if you believed that God is murderous and an enemy, and you tried to go towards God, your "egoic" insane mind would see this as a dangerous encounter. It would become threatened and adversarial, it would try to fight against it and go into fear. Just as you as a 'sane' person would go into fear if you thought an evil enemy were coming closer to attack you.

God obviously isn't actually attacking or evil or murderous, but the ego does perceive him that way. And so it makes "total sense" to the egoic insane mind that, for the sake of preserving existence and "sanity", you should stay away from God.

As you - your mind - starts trying to wake up from the insanity and move towards God, you're going to find that the insanity itself will interpret reality incorrectly. It will perceive that you're moving towards your death, moving towards evil, moving towards the very thing you fear and do not want. As if you're going in the wrong direction.

If you were to lurch closer to God all of a sudden, and saw his beauty and loveliness, your egoic mind would quickly project sin and guilt onto it, and become deeply suspicious that nothing can possibly be that lovely and be real. And it might thus read into it that God is actually a deceiver and the beauty is some kind of insane trick or a trap. And then it would go into fear as a defense.

Obviously this is where "sickness is a defense against the truth" comes in, because the insane mind reasons that in order to be safer, more alive, exist longer, and be protected, it must move AWAY from the threatening God (truth) it perceives. It does this by inducing more separation, reasoning that it makes total sense to get away from the vile enemy.

"Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them." UrW136L3

What the insane mind doesn't realize is that while it BELIEVES that it is moving away from evil, it is moving toward it. While it believes it is moving away from death (as God), it is moving further toward actual death, because God is really life. Inducing more separation induces all forms of illness, suffering and death, but in the name of self preservation.

So in fact we don't actually recognize suffering as suffering. We don't believe that pain is actually a bad thing. We don't think that sickness is terrible. And we even want to cozy up with death, as though it will protect us from God.

The course is trying to get us to reverse our entire thought system so that we begin to RECOGNIZE that evil is evil, suffering is suffering, pain is something you do not want, false things are false, etc... so that you realize in your sanity that it makes no sense to choose them. You would drop all of this misery in an instant if you actually realised that it IS misery and not love.

This is the state we're in. We're backwards and lost, not recognizing true things as true, or false things as false. We believe a whole host of awful stuff like pain, suffering, sickness, death, is actually "good stuff that we want more of". And we will happily choose it and side with it and protect it, believing it is saving us from a fate worse than death.

Each time we try awaken from this and move toward actual eternal life, toward God or reality or truth, the insanity in the mind is going to be suspicious of it, misinterpret it, read into it, and resist it. All based on a misperception of it. In effect, it may seem like you're trying to drag the ego kicking and screaming toward its demise - at least that's how it sees it.

The ego though can't enter a state of sanity because it's really just a label for being insane. It can't "exist" in the light of truth or in God. It requires the denial of God and it requires separateness rather than oneness. You, as the soul/mind, have to find a way to step out of the insanity and dis-associate, dis-identify, from being the insane person, and shift your allegiance to being the sanity of spirit. Or as the course calls it, reason.

You can be sure though that if you go too fast, your insane egoic tendencies will kick in and become frightened by the truth. It will resist and kick and scream. It will find ways to avoid it and deny it and not want it. It will feel offended and threatened by it. Because it does not understand what it's really going toward.

What then could seem like a passage down a dark tunnel into hell, to the ego, could actually be the stairway to heaven. But you have to be gentle with yourself. As the course says, time keeps gentle pace with you. The Holy Spirit gently plans events to help lead you to eternal life. You have a curriculum to go through piece by piece, when you are ready, as you are willing, and not before.

You don't have to rush or go fast, or try to skip steps, or race to the end. This is supposed to be a gentle awakening process, moving first into a happier dream and then onward.

If you try to expose your ego-identified ie insane mind to the sanity of God when it isn't ready, it will just be frightened by it. So go easy on yourself. This is where it becomes 'ok' in the short term, to carry on with your insane ego-serving human nonsense. So go grab some more ice cream and binge watch some favourite shows for a while, because you're probably not going to be waking up quite yet.

"This is because the last thing that can help the non-Right-Minded (or the sick) is an increase in fear. They are already in a fear-weakened state. If they are inappropriately exposed to a straight and undiluted miracle, they may be precipitated into panic. This is particularly likely to occur when upside down perception has induced the belief that miracles are frightening." UrT2C9

"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely. Life is now recognized as salvation, and pain and misery of any kind perceived as hell. Love is no longer feared but gladly welcomed. Idols have disappeared, and the remembrance of God shines unimpeded across the world. Christ's face is seen in every living thing, and nothing is held in darkness apart from the light of forgiveness. There is no sorrow still upon the earth. The joy of Heaven has come upon it." UrM29A2