There are two kinds of power, God's power and ego power.

Ego power means that you have to rise up against enemies and fight them strongly. This manifests as intensity, anger, attack. You think that if you can 'over-power' the 'other', then you will gain power and win.

But this demonstration of power is actually not power at all. It is a show of weakness, because you can't believe in separation and have strength. Strength comes from wholeness, not opposition. Strength comes from inclusiveness, not exclusion.

When you are attempting to be powerful over something in this ego way, you're really saying that you believe very strongly that the enemy has some kind of power over you, and therefore you need to muster a huge amount of supposed might against them in order to not be disempowered. But this only means you still continue to believe they have power over you, which is a perspective of weakness. This isn't really power at all.

God's power is wholeness, in that when you are being what you are, you are infinitely powerful. There is no limit to what you can do or what you can choose to create. And nothing can affect you, and you have no enemies.

See, the essential difference is, that in God's power you don't need the power in order to rise up against anyone because the power comes from wholeness and not from separation. It comes because it's natural and shared, and is therefore strong. It automatically protects you from inventing enemies, and therefore there are no enemies that this power needs to 'go up against'. You are powerful SO THAT you have no opposition.

It is actually a choice to have a lack of power, that creates a perception of enemies. It is a choice to see yourself as a victim, that leads to you believing that someone other than you has a power to affect you in ways that you can't prevent. And ultimately if you believe they have tremendous power over you, they will destroy you. But really it is you destroying yourself, because you're the one giving your power away.

So yes, you choose and feed your enemies. You give them their ammunition. You set them against you.

If you want to feel empowered it's not going to come from fighting against things that you think are unacceptable or not right. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS PUTTING THEM OUT THERE! It's from shifting into an awareness that nothing can harm you because you have no opposition and are not attacking others with a judgement of wrongness. Stop making enemies for yourself.

The first time that I became able to accept the atonement for myself, undoing a long-standing belief in a "real sin" that I had never been able to completely let go, Jesus said to me "now you will be able to perform miracles".

Notice that the steps I took to get to the atonement and accept it, which was an undoing and correction of fear, guilt, shame, and sin, was not in itself a miracle as such.

By being willing to accept that I was actually innocent in God's eyes because what I thought I had done had not really happened, that meant I was willing to agree that I deserved God's love and that I was, in truth, forgiven.

This meant I was willing and able to now receive love and therefore to love myself. And that means, I was now able to love others. At least a bit. The ability to express love only comes when you have becoming willing to receive it. And you don't have that willingness UNTIL you have accepted that the sin is not real - i.e. accept the atonement.

Miracles are EXPRESSIONS of love. They aren't just you shifting perception or accepting that you are lovable. That process is like opening the door for love to shine through. It is love shining through which has miracle-working power.

Today's lesson 140 says, "only salvation can be said to cure". And from this pertinent lesson:

"Atonement heals with certainty, and cures all sickness. For the mind which understands that sickness can be nothing but a dream is not deceived by forms the dream may take.

Sickness where guilt is absent cannot come, for it is but another form of guilt. Atonement does not heal the sick, for that is not a cure. It takes away the guilt that makes the sickness possible. And that is cure indeed. For sickness now is gone, with nothing left to which it can return."

Accepting the atonement gives you ACCESS to a state of mind which can CURE. A state of mind which can undo all sickness. A state of mind which has the power to perform miracles, which includes the likes of healing those who appear to be sick, helping your brothers and so on.

Just as Jesus did, you can forgive the so-called sins of others. Jesus said many times "your sins are forgiven". He had the power and authority to bestow that forgiveness on others, not just recognizing their sins were not real but also the ability to undo the symptoms and effects of that sin. He could produce a healing miracle on their behalf as an EXPRESSION of love. This is what you are capable of also.

All you need is love.

If someone else is having a problem, and you feel concerned, there is something mistaken going on in your mind.

There is actually an ego reaction, based on the hierarchy of illusions, which says that based on the perceived severity of the situation, you should be having a certain amount of reaction.

Just even perceiving that someone ELSE is having a problem, seems to be enough of a belief in a "cause" happening outside of you, even if it not perceived as happening TO you, to produce a sense of "effects" showing up in your mind.

If it's you believing that someone else's body is under attack, this would seem not to be about you at all. But it is, because your mind is having the belief in attack. And even if it's someone "not me" seeming to be attacked, just the acceptance that it is occurring is enough to cause your mind to generate fear thoughts.

So then the question arises, is it possible when presented with situations in which other people are suffering, to be completely unmoved by it. Is it possible to not have a reaction, to not go into fear, or into diagnosis mode, or attempting to react to what seems very real.

And then this further leads to, is it OKAY to not react? Is it okay to remain calm and peaceful and seemingly "disconnected" from what is supposed to be a "normal reaction"? Is it okay to be happy when someone is upset, calm when someone is stressing out, peaceful when someone is in pain, etc. That basically, your inner state and emotion and mental condition becomes NOT DEPENDENT ON the external world.

Somehow this means transcending the hierarchy of illusions, orders of severity/difficulty, belief in seriousness, problems seeming to be real, other people's problems seeming to be real, and sinking into a kind of detached "insulation" or self-contained independently chosen state of being, that isn't always the EFFECT OF or a REACTION TO what's happening in the world. The idea of being in a state which the WORLD did not cause, is quite radically new.

Can I become not involved. Can I remain untangled from the illusions. In the face of dramas, can I not buy into them. Can I remain happy and peaceful at all times, which seems very very alien to the state of being constantly tossed around on the ocean waves like a rollercoaster of stressful reactions. Can I become independent of the world's causalities, immune to them, invulnerable to them, such that I am literally no longer AFFECTED by anything. And such that whatever state I experience *I* have chosen, and the world has not caused to happen in me.

"I am not at the effect of the world I see."

It seems to you that there is a separate power, a separate will, or a separate cause, which is "outside of your mind", which you seem to have no control over.

This power or will seems to show up in the body becoming sick, or stuff happening against your will, or things occurring which you complain about or seem not to want to happen.

But it's not a matter of there actually being a separate power that's acting against you. There is no separate will in the sickness doing its own thing out of control. There is no causality outside of your mind or in the world that can do anything to you without your consent.

So then you have to realize, whatever power, will, reality, force, unchangeability, intention, causality, or any other attribute of power that you see as being "in" that thing, or in the body, or in the sickness, or in the events, it CANNOT BE that these things are separate from your mind.

It is YOUR MIND, out there, separated off, seemingly turned against you, as if it is a separate cause or will or person. So now your body is showing sickness because your mind put the sickness there. And now the part of your mind which put the sickness there is at war with the rest of your mind. And now the rest of your mind sees that it seems to have an enemy who is willing against you.

You do not have an enemy.

Every enemy, every external cause, every illusion that it is "not you doing this", is actually YOU. It's YOUR MIND doing it to itself. This is the secret to salvation.

The sickness in your body is being maintained by YOUR MIND, some part of your mind, which has "turned against yourself" in unlove and denial. And now it seems there are two selves or two minds or two wills operating in conflict.

So then you get all of this impression that "you", the remaining part of your mind, is up against this foe who is "not you", and has a mind of its own. And it seems to have power over you, is causal, has will, is making decisions that you do not want.

There is no such thing. There is only YOUR MIND pretending to be two minds. Your have a split mind. You are divided against yourself. That means you are UNCERTAIN about who and what you are, are not loving yourself WHOLLY, and there is some belief in separation and denial in your mind which is making it SEEM as if a separate mind is attacking you.

So if that sickness is actually something YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF, and if that sickness is actually coming from your mind, and that "enemy" that you perceive is actually YOU, because you have regarded yourself as a sinner or attacker or vicious ego or separate sinner, then by you RECLAIMING this part of your mind into your whole self, you are alleviating and taking back and undoing this split in your mind.

So now if there is no split in your mind, this sickness has no mind to drive it. It has no mind to believe in it, because the sickness is just a symptom of SEPARATION, ie the idea that your mind is separate from itself. Or that there are two of you. Or that there are two decisions being made. Or two wills competing against each other. You are simply fighting with yourself.

So then, to the degree that you believe this separate cause/mind is out there and not you, to that degree you will think you have to "fight with it", and rise up against it, or find the power to attack it, having made it real, in order to free yourself from it. But that now means, you are attacking this other part of your mind, attacking your enemy, and thus attacking yourself.

Because that separate "source of will" out there, or in the body, is actually YOU. So to go against it simply reinforces the presence of the "sickness", or the symptoms, because the symptoms are just showing you that there is separation in the mind or you are attacking yourself. To attack the attack is not healing.

So what needs to happen only, is your RECOGNITION that the will and power and mind which you PERCEIVE as being "not in you" and "beyond your control" and "not you" and "I did not choose this" and "I am not causing this", must be TAKEN BACK, and reintegrated into your identity and your whole self, so that you are no longer attacking yourself or at odds with yourself. So that you are WHOLE MINDED, or SINGLE MINDED. That also means, so that you love yourself.

There is no enemy. There is no separate external cause. It's YOU! Take your power back. Nothing has power over you other than the power YOU GIVE IT by putting YOUR SELF INTO IT, by giving yourself away, through disownership, denial, and irresponsibility. You take what is in you - will, power, mind, causality, and push it away from you. Then it shows up as an enemy willing against you. No wonder! So now you need to take that back, reclaim the power, re-own yourself, stop denying yourself and be whole. This wholeness is healing. This wholeness undoes the belief in the SPLIT in your mind, and that split is the sole cause behind all symptoms of sickness.

This therefore means two very important things.

1) The symptoms of sickness can ONLY show up when your mind is split and divided against itself, and it is only by seeing part of your OWN WILL outside of you, against you, that you have level confusion and thus separation beliefs and sickness shows up. Also death. So you are the ONLY CAUSE OF SICKNESS AND DEATH.

2) When your mind is whole and not divided and is not seeing part of itself as outside of itself, THERE CANNOT BE ANY SICKNESS SHOWING UP. It *MUST* disappear. "Illusions recognized must disappear." Once you've taken yourself back and owned up to things and accepted the truth, there CANNOT BE SICKNESS OR DEATH.

Sickness cannot linger around. It's not like, ok, you fucked up and made a mess of things and sickness resulted, and now you get your mind into a happy place, and now you have to "live with" the results or consequences of your mistake. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No fucking way. This is NOT what the course is teaching at all, and many people believe this IS what the course says - that you must become at peace with whatever shit happens. NO! You must STOP MAKING SHIT HAPPEN.

The condition of your body is a DIRECT REFLECTION of the state of your mind. "A broken body is proof the mind has not been healed." "The mind must be stronger than the body, every miracle demonstrates this". Sickness cannot last when the guilt behind it removed, making sickness impossible to return. A body not used for attack CANNOT BE SICK NOR CAN IT DIE.

It's all about you being the enemy of yourself, you having split-off parts of your mind which are seeming to "will against you", but it's really YOU WILLING AGAINST YOU. That means YOU OWN THE POWER that is causing sickness to happen. And that means YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND and stop making the sickness show up.

"You made sickness and death and can therefore abolish both."

This is LITERAL. A sick body proves the mind is still sick. The body cannot show up as sick or dead if the mind is whole. Period. Anyone who if REALLY FULLY Integrated the whole of their mind fragments will no longer have level confusion and will no longer express a sick body from the mind, thus demonstrating a perfectly healed and healthy body, to PROVE that the mind REALLY IS believing that it is the SINGLE CAUSE of the body, more powerful than the body, and is thus miraculous.

Sickness must go. It is a lie. There is no such thing as real sickness or sickness that should remain while you wake up. If the body is still sick YOU ARE NOT AWAKE. If the body still dies YOU ARE NOT AWAKE. Reclaim all of yourself and you will regain awareness of immortality AND DEMONSTRATE IT.

Your only enemy is yourself. You are the only cause of everything you experience. You are doing this to yourself, and can choose again.

Bodies, the Earth, the Sun, all the stars, all the galaxies, will vanish, because they are an illusion and not of God. This will mark the "disappearance of the universe". And all that will remain is the Kingdom of God, which was there before spacetime was ever dreamed of. And not one single thing which appeared to come into existence will exist in any way, and will simply fade into nothing without a trace. No-one needs the world except to help us to leave it behind and go home.

"Together we can watch the world disappear and its symbol vanish as it does so." (Special messages 19)

"Like all things in the world its meaning is temporary, and will ultimately fade into the nothingness from which it came when there is no more use for it." UrM14A1

"Let us today behold earth disappear, at first transformed, and then, forgiven, fade entirely into God's holy Will." UrW326L4

"in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came." UrU5A4

"When not one thought of sin remains, the world is over. It will not be destroyed nor attacked nor even touched. It will merely cease to seem to be." UrM15A2

"An unremembered world will leave no trace behind its going, when God's gifts have been accepted as the only thing you want." UrG1A8

"Idols MUST disappear, and leave no trace behind their going." UrT20G9

"The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever. Some things will last in time a little while longer than others. But the time will come when all things visible will have an end." UrU5A1

"To close all things of time, to end the sight

Of all things visible; and to undo

All things that change." UrM30A8

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." UrW137L1

"Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came." UrU5A4

"The song of our rejoicing is the call to all the world that freedom is returned, that time is almost over, and God's Son has but an instant more to wait until his Father is remembered, dreams are done, eternity has shined away the world, and only Heaven now exists at all." UrW230W25

I've been starting to read "Life and teaching of the Masters of the far East". It's a collection of books, recounting the stories of travelers who went to the far East and encountered several very spiritually advanced people.

The only other book I've read that's similarly inspiring, or alluding to the potential we have, is Yogananda's autobiography of a Yogi.

In this book, the experiences and explanations that are given are quite eye-opening. If the stories are to be believed, and it's to be expected a lot of people have a hard time accepting it, here is some of what is claimed:

God has a power which He shares fully with us and which we are meant to use, and this power is capable of a) manifesting any object of any kind, b) healing absolutely all sickness, c) overcoming death, d) facilitating the transcendence of space and time for travel, e) being not only immune to but able to control all aspects of events and objects in the physical world, f) being able to materialize and dematerialize the body, g) the instantaneous manifestation of food and money supplied by God meaning you no longer have to rely on any limited resource or sources of objects from others, .... and various other things we'd consider 'miracles'.

Basically, what it's suggesting is, literally, that we are capable of absolutely ANYTHING if/when we join with God. It doesn't just mean that we give up everything and go to God, either, although some people eventually reach such a high position that they never want to leave there, although they can (like Jesus). It means that we can actually 'live forever' joined to an unlimited supply of provision. The people in the book, the masters, are hundreds of years of age, and yet appear to be 30-40 in age, youthful and in perfect health.

These kind of things give me more of a picture of 'whats possible' and clues as to what A Course in Miracles might be saying and meaning.

I realize now that when I read certain things in the Course, even if I THINK I am being absolutely open minded, I am still actually building upon meanings and learning that I had accumulated from before. Even if I think my learning is more open minded than others, it STILL is resting on what I already think I know and that skews the potential meaning. Also I do not know what I don't know... there are things, truths, that I simply am not aware of, and so when I think I am exactly 'getting' what the Course says, maybe I still am not... there could be a context or laws or information outside of my current awareness.

Then when I'm exposed to information like in this series of books, it makes me 'think twice' about what I thought I knew. It's eye opening.

Forgiveness is the only way out of the dream. It is the only way to undo error. It is the only salvation. It literally IS the way that you learn illusions are illusions and not the truth. It is your only option, your only hope, your only salvation.

"Forgiveness is for God and toward God but not of Him. It is impossible to think of anything He created that could need forgiveness. Forgiveness, then, is an illusion, but because of its purpose, which is the Holy Spirit's, it has one difference. Unlike all other illusions it lead away from error and not towards it. "

"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin, except a false idea about God's Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is now the Will of God."

"Fear binds the world. Forgiveness sets it free."

"Forgiveness gives the miracle its strength to overlook illusions."

"Let forgiveness be the substitute for fear. This is the only rule for happy dreams. "

"Forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear. "

"Illusion makes illusion. Except one. Forgiveness is illusion that is answer to the rest. "

"Forgiveness offers everything I want. What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? All this forgiveness offers you, and more."

"Those who forgive are releasing themselves from illusions, while those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them. As you condemn only yourself, so do you forgive only yourself. "

"The one correction possible for false perception must be true perception. It will not endure. But for the time it lasts it comes to heal. For true perception is a remedy with many names. Forgiveness, salvation, Atonement, true perception, all are one."

"Forgiveness is still, and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspect of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is."

"This is not a course in philosophical speculation, nor is it concerned with precise terminology. It is concerned only with Atonement, or the correction of perception. The means of the Atonement is forgiveness."

Just recently I've been rediscovering an increased awareness of love, which includes receiving love from God and experiencing it within myself - in the heart. When I feel this, any sense of loss and grief disappears, I feel literally more whole, more awake, more myself, and happier.

I've been dealing with the loss of my wife since 2024 and it's been difficult. But it's also been an education and has inspired a lot of insights. What suddenly dawned on me this morning is that maybe I've been seeking for a love that is missing within, outside of myself, because of some kind of lack within.

Maybe even when she was still around, I had certain senses of lack and unlove - a lack of self love - and she seemed to become "an idol", a seeming symbol of love, a source of love, and a way to get my needs met.

This is what ACIM would call "special love", which is driven by lack and need. First we look within and believe that love is missing, which can only happen through self-condemnation and judgement and a general lack of love (denial of God/Self). Then we go seeking externally to find salvation through someone else. Someone who seems to "do it to us and for us."

We might then form a sense of or degree of love toward a person, but it is often then a conditional love with strings attached. You start off with a neediness within, the other person seems to make up for some of your shortcomings, they support you and prop you up, and you seem to mostly cover up your internal lack. It feels like love because some degree of love is there, but there are also conditions involved - a narrowing of love and freedom to the limits of form.

Two people can then "cling" to each other in the storm and support each other and grow together, but at the same time the underlying "need" forms dependency, which we might also call "attachment". I see this attachment also as the attempt to associate love with form/physicality, such as believing you love a person "as a body". This narrows the love to the limits of form and makes it more exclusive, "attaching" love to something physical.

The problem comes when the narrowed form-based love interest goes away, you believe that LOVE ITSELF goes with them. ie if the body dies, then the love dies with it, attached to it. Then there's a belief that love is lost, and a sense of despair ensues. This of course makes sense because if love is dead and you lack love within, there is nowhere to get love and you must despair in darkness.

I see also that despair comes from the sense of unresolvable lack/need within. If I lack love in some way internally, and I "need" to get it from anywhere other than within/God, and begin to "seek and do not find" with the ego - seeking for it in some external source, and that seeming external "solution" to the lack/need goes away, the mind is left holding the needy compulsion.

When you are in a position where you have a need, and you have no way to meet the need, or when you have a problem that cannot be solved, or you depend on someone to fulfil some role or function for you and then they stop doing it, your mind sees no way out and becomes lost and hopeless. And this then produces a sense of horror and rage and despair and loss. Or, what ACIM would call, "special hate." The rage of the ego comes out as an unhealable wound gushing all over the place.

The underlying lack/need comes into awareness and is experienced as unresolvable, and then continually creates more loss as it wants, needs, depends on and expects that which has gone away externally. This shows up like the withdrawal symptoms of an addict. Similarly, the mind remains "dependent" on the external thing for its source of salvation, and keeps seeking it for a solution, but the thing is gone and isn't providing what it once was, causing the mind to feel a sense of loss, deprivation, abandonment, etc.

The thing that's been dropping in for me now is that this so-called "loss" that seems to be focused on the "death of" an external figure, is actually a PROJECTED FORM of an internal lack of love. I thought perhaps I was "getting love" from some external source and needed to do so, and kept continually trying to do so even after the external source was gone. In other words, the internal "lack of love" was not addressed, and trying to solve it externally just kept reinforcing it. "How unloved I am" became the source of despair.

But what really needed to happen was to realize that this was a second-hand solution. Loss, or "hankering for the idol that died", was only a secondary solution to the internal lack of love. And when there is a presence of love within, the mind no longer needs to seek without to get its "needs" met. A loving mind HAS no needs, and it is only "needing someone" that produces loss. And need is not love.

I've been finding that if I connect with love within, receive love from God, allow myself to see myself as loved by God and lovable etc, then it seems to automatically switch off the loss. The loss can't even "go there" because it has no foundation - no guilt/lack/sin/hate of self to feed from.

In effect, I saw that it wasn't so much that I had loss about a person dying, but that I really believed that LOVE ITSELF had died. As if part of God had died, was nowhere to be found WITHOUT, and therefore could not be felt within either. When I affirmed that love was not dead but still alive, as God, as my SELF, this seemed to lift me up to a whole new level of wholeness.

What I've also found is that having more love within seems to automatically alleviate the entire foundation of that part of me that seems to want to "seek for" the missing person. The part that is very emotional which felt attached and yearning for and needing the person to be there, which asks "I want them, where are they", wondering where they'd gone, wanting them to come back etc... was a sort of deflected projection of a deeper internal lack of love.

In other words, the loss of a dead partner isn't really the cause of a sense of loss. It's not even their absence that causes it. It's what the absence MEANS for your attempt to solve the problem of lacking love within yourself. What it means for how you will get your "needs" met.

It's much more to do with the dynamic of special love, the sense of a lack of love within for yourself, and the attempt to "attach to" the person as the symbol of the love that's missing, to milk them for all they're worth. As if only they can provide what you lack. As if only their presence can console you. As if you need them just to exist. As if without them you are dead and hopeless with no way to resolve your lack. And dependency isn't even really the issue because it's just HOW you tried to resolve your lack by tapping into a seeming source.

Perhaps the bigger truth then is that if I/we had love within ourselves, from and shared with God, and would allow ourselves to BE loved more, we would actually have far less of a sense of "I need you", or "you complete me", or "I depend on you", or "I want you back" etc... which is the psychologically twisted attachment that forms when you are IN NEED. If we are not in need, within, internally, then we are more whole and no longer seeing ourselves as "dependent on" someone else for happiness, wholeness, identity, or anything else. We get it all from God in our creation.

As I find an increasing love within, and allow myself to BE loved more, to receive and be grateful for love that God has given already, the sense of loss is greatly reducing. I literally feel a letting go of that psychological external dependency, that emotional reaching out, that longing for what's not there, that wanting what I cannot have and then thinking that there is no other solution to my "problem". The problem of a lack of love.

There IS another solution to loss and death. The solution is LOVE. Love heals and restores and maintains the wholeness of what we are. Without love we ARE lost and are in a constant state of loss, and in that loss we project the cause of it and try to fill the hole using another person externally. We may partially love them but if our love was whole we would not NEED them, depend on them, or be "attached" to them. That's neediness is a special relationship rather than a holy relationship.

A holy relationship would be rooted in internal wholeness and a lack of needs, such that we feel and experience wholeness and happiness within ourselves BEFORE the other person even enters into it. We then come from love, instead of coming from neediness and lack and selfishness. We bring and give and extend love, instead of trying to take it, and receive it from God as our supply.

In loss, the ego is like a little child that cries because its favourite toys have been taken away and it wants them back. It is a self-interest of seeing oneself as deprived and lacking (lacking love, self, identity, God, other), and therefore dependent on external things to seem to complete us. But we can't even really be completed by external things, they just cover up the continued lack within. And while they may be loving us, we may be failing to fully love them.

I think in the bigger picture the lesson long term has been more along the lines of learning to love myself more and letting myself receive God's love more, and finding love here and now within myself AS myself, rather than trying to get it from somewhere else as a bandaid. An opening up to a more unconditional love, and lifting love away from being attached to physical objects or conditions. An expansion in my sense of love and identity and realising that love is not physical. And what is made of love can never be dead.

I think in particular that I spent many years trying to be a caregiver and helper and fixer as a form of love, but there was still an underlying lesson of not really getting my own needs met and not loving myself fully enough. I gave extremely but would not let myself receive much. And the more externally focused my life situation became the more I became lost and unhappy. My source of love was gradually taken away and so I've been having to learn where to find the love again, and whether it even exists.

Fortunately I do now feel a movement toward finding it WITHIN, rather than without, and this is a whole new adventure in discovery and opening and awakening. Realising that what I sought for externally is actually inside. Realising that the whole spiritual path of seeking has been the problem all along, and lifting out of that toward a focus on recognition, acceptance, and awakening to a pre-existing love that God has given is a massive shift in orientation and "problem solving approach."

It's been like a 180-degree turning point, shifting from the seek and do not find approach to life, to more of a "finding and not seeking" approach. And truly I have to say that finding and FEELING love within is the biggest revelation - I am still discovering the depths of it as if I forget it was even possible. The more I feel love within the happier I feel. It makes me literally feel more whole, like I have more personality, like I'm being me more. And all my "energies" and emotion seems to be returning to a much more centred and whole state rather than all over the place.

But the major "reward" of it all, is that it is making the terrible LOSS melt away. A loss which felt like it would never end. A loss which ultimately is caused by moving AWAY from love. Because in truth, loss is a desire for death, and is a belief in it, rather than a belief in love and life. And loss can only seem to be experienced as the loss of something separate from you. It's part of the separation idea and the ego. Yet where there is love, there is nothing lacking and no needs and no deprivation.

Love is the answer. Love is the atonement. Love is the undoing of death and despair. We must learn once again that we are very, very loved.

"I am sustained by the Love of God. - Here is the answer to every problem that confronts you today and tomorrow and throughout time."

"Put all your faith in the Love of God within you, eternal, changeless and forever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you today."

"Here is the answer! Seek for it no more. You will not find another one instead."

"Here is the answer! Do not turn away in aimless wandering again. Accept salvation now. It is the gift of God and not the world."

"The text explains that the Holy Spirit is the Answer to all problems you have made."

"Your holiness is the answer to every question that was ever asked, is being asked now, or will be asked in the future. Your holiness means the end of guilt, and therefore the end of hell."

"Forgiveness is the ANSWER to attack of any kind. So is attack DEPRIVED of its effects, and hate is answered in the Name of Love."

The idea of non-duality is an attempt to describe reality or the nature of God. What is really real and really exists. At first we have the idea of duality or polar opposites. Then we reach the idea that the world is secretly "all one thing", as though all the objects are connected together by a singular "one" something.

Then we're presented even further with the idea that if we're being really "pure" about it, the forms and objects really don't exist at all, and the "oneness" beyond them is all that really exists, ie God. In this model of "pure non-duality", there is no world", and this is what SEEMS to correlate to SOME of what ACIM says. This usually leads to conclusions such as "oneness" as in "a count of one something", "its all God", "it's all mind" etc.

So various people took up the idea that ACIM is pure non-duality. But this has some problems. Let's put it this way - the idea is not pure enough. Because if this is a logical concept and we're trying to get down to the purest essence of "what is", usually you'll find that the pure non-duality folk will ACCEPT that "God has one son". There's a lot of material about God having a son - "The Son of God". And while this is accepted, it's not actually pure.

How can God have a son, at all, if there is only God? How can you even label some aspect of God - like his "radiance", as "a son"? God would not be able to have parts, or aspects, or anything you can ever attach a label too. Not even in the most vague of ways. Some people like to try to get around this by suggesting that the Son of God is so joined to God that there is nowhere he ends and God begins... while STILL keeping somehow in their minds this loose idea that SOMEHOW, you can still point a finger at this "part of God" and call it God's Son. THAT is still not pure. It's a bandaid attempt to explain it.

The problem is that if you get really pure about it, and we remove all sense of separations, divisions, multitudes, labels, parts and aspects etc... and we REALLY boil it down to "one thing" as in the traditional idea of "oneness" (the ego's idea of purity), we end up with .... there literally is only God. And that means God, sitting there ALONE, by Himself, WITHOUT a Son, without a sonship, without any creations or thoughts, just totally alone, no-one to share with, nothing to communicate with, just complete a total loneliness. THAT, actually, is the purest possible interpretation of "pure" non-duality. That "there is only God" all by Himself and he doesn't even have a Son at all. Not even one.

But many people will not want to "go there" because to suggest there isn't even one Son flies in the face of a lot of ACIM material. And certain popular teachers have taught for a long time that a) there is only one thing but b) a slight exception is made for there being a single son. This sort of hybrid mishmash of logical concepts has been quite widely accepted as a correct mapping to what ACIM is saying. One God + One Son, who is God, but isn't, but is. It's a bandaid and not logically pure nor does it match what the Course itself says.

The fact is, if there is truly this "oneness" in which there are not "many" of anything, in an effort to avoid "duality", there is **no son** there whatsoever. Not even as an aspect or expression or radiance or thought or part of God. And that leads also to the super watered-down conclusion of "it's all God" ie "there is nothing else". And that conclusion by itself has problems because e.g. the Course speaks of how a) God does not will to be alone and b) God is a creator and c) God has at least one Son and d) God created the Holy Spirit and e) God created angels and f) the Son has his own creations as well. Which is shaping up to be a lot of "parts", a lot of "somethings" that are sufficient enough to say there isn't "just" God there - that there HAS BEEN an act of creation. That something has been ADDED TO reality.

There is also an issue of freedom. If everything in reality is God and God is just being God in all of His ways, then there is no freedom in which any part or aspect has any free will. There is no way that you as a Son of God can dream of exile. There is no way that anything can occur without it being God doing it Himself, directly. And any idea of a Son must really be an idea of some kind of PUPPET that God is manipulating that has no mind or life or will of its own - no freedom at all. Which really runs counter to what Jesus tells us of the Son of God, free will, the ability to choose and the separation seeming to happen.

If you also blob it all together and say "its all God" then you end up with the alarming scenario that God therefore MUST be dreaming of exile, God must have invented the illusion of death, God is REALLY cruel, and God has attacked himself. This renders God insane, and that just isn't acceptable. Because if God could go off the rails, there is no way He would ever return to sanity, and all of existence would vanish.

It is vital that there be some kind of freedom between God and the Son in order for God NOT to be pulled into insanity along with His Son's dreaming. Free Will is absolutely vital in order to prevent this. But to have free will means, you guessed it, there MUST be a kind of "independence" or individuality, in which the Son CAN, if He so chooses, try to will against God. And this is based on the fact that God is the CAUSE of His Son, His Son is the EFFECT of Him, and God has given His son FREEDOM to SHARE His freedom with Him, or deny it. Either way, without freedom there is no free will and no son at all.

There is also another major problem with non-duality. God by His nature is love and love MUST be given. Unless it is given ie shared, it does not extend or shine and so becomes essentially lifeless. IT MUST go out and create. If God has no son, there is nothing TO love or to SHARE it with. And so love cannot love. And this means, ultimately, logically, that God is dead because He isn't LOVING. This again is unacceptable as a conclusion. God can't be dead or unloving. But to be alive, GOD MUST CREATE, so we must accept God has created ADDITIONAL BEINGS in a state of freedom.

And this is the key part that non-duality shits all over. Regardless of the fact that it destroys the sonship and ignores God's creations, it basically denies that God CREATES at all. It's the idea that God is just sitting there alone twiddling his thumbs. And this means He is not creating a son, not even one. It means there is no Kingdom. No Heaven. No HOME for the Son of God. No inheritance. It means the denial that God has a family. It denies that God's SON is a creator, AND it denies that God's son has created children. It's not conceptually a good FIT for ACIM's metaphysics.

So non-duality basically suppresses the MANY thought creations of God, denies many aspects of REALITY, and overthrows the Kingdom. It kills off God, puts a stop to Creation, eradicates sharing, makes it impossible for God to create many children, and interprets the Sonship as a collection of egos. Now, WHO exactly do you think comes up with such a concept of "what reality is like"? THE EGO. These are the EGO's conclusions, non-duality is an EGO CONCEPT, and like all ego concepts it actually NEGATES what is true and cancels or denies reality.

All non-duality models are the ridiculous FALSE conclusions that the ego comes to when trying to understand something TOTALLY BEYOND the ego. Something whose nature is NOTHING LIKE the ego, and so the ego is utterly clueless as to its nature. Non-duality is not really an attempt to define or describe reality, it's an attempt to destroy it.

At best, and only loosely, non-duality MIGHT describe "God Himself", if you could isolate Him and say, God is one whole being, PRIOR to creation. But beyond that, in terms of God being a CREATOR, who HAS CREATED CHILDREN, it totally falls flat on its face. There is no sonship without creation. Non-duality is Kingdom-denying. Reality IS NOT a state of "its all God" or "its all mind". It's all God AND God's creations AND their creations. Because you can ADD TO REALITY, reality cannot be non-dualistic.

"HE created the Sonship, and YOU increase it. You HAVE the power to ADD to the Kingdom, but NOT to add to the Creator OF the Kingdom."

"God created His **Sons** by extending His Thought and retaining the extensions of His Thought in His Mind. ALL His Thoughts are thus perfectly united within themselves and with each other because they were created neither partially nor in part."

"You should know that all God's children are fully worthy of COMPLETE courtesy."

"We are creation, WE, the Sons of God."

"And we, God's children, rise up from the dust and look upon our perfect sinlessness."

But let's back up a moment. The Course DOES say that there is only God. It DOES say God has one Son. It DOES say there is only one mind (Christ mind). It DOES speak of oneness. "Into eternity where all is one" "I and my father are one" "God has but one son" etc. And that *seems* to support the idea that "its all God". But here's the thing. IT IS all God, it IS all "one", BUT.... THERE IS **ALSO** CREATION. And all created BEINGS are LIKE God, share with God, are one with God (of the same nature, joined to Him), yet have THEIR OWN FREEDOM.

God HAS created a family of beings. God IS a creator. God DID create at least one son. SO non-duality is out the window. Reality is not some giant expanse of singularity. It's more like a womb in which God has given birth to creations, WITHIN His own being, and has given them FREEDOM. Living, whole-minded, willfully free beings. Children of God. And if that makes you uncomfortable because it "does not compute" or "it sounds like duality", too bad. It is what it is and its your job to accept it.

It's not the same thing as duality. Duality means the localization of parts which are split off and kept separate by NOT SHARING with each other, confined and isolated and different. Duality is the nature of space and time, where nothing shares. Non-duality is the idea of the opposite of that - that the differences are illusions and everything is one thing. But that too is not accurate. Reality isn't some "state" where God is contemplating his navel. Reality isn't like duality even with its many parts because they STILL are all "one" AND YET also many. And each part SHARES with all the rest and IS EVERYWHERE. "One mind is all minds."

Love is EXPRESSIVE. "Divine abstraction takes joy in application." "God did not will to be alone." And as such God has gone BEYOND the concept of "there's only one thing there". God has CREATED children. He has ADDED to existence, and your function is to add to it further. That's not non-duality by a long shot. Nor is it duality (spacetime where things are separated and limited).

God has created a Kingdom. A home for His Sons. Who are one, but many. This is what's miraculous and ego defying. Because of SHARING ("nothing real can be increased, except by sharing"), God has "made room" for beings within Him who share with Him FULLY (oneness) but who STILL retain their own souls. The soul has been FULLY ADDED to existence.

"The soul has not only been created perfect, it has been FULLY created. There is no lack in it."

After the ego is undone, after the separation has ended, after the universe has disappeared, after all divisions and artificial UNNATURAL separations are gone, when duality is no more... the children of God WILL REMAIN children of God, just as they were BEFORE the separation.

"I am as God created me".

"The Holy Spirit promotes healing by looking beyond it to what the children of God were before healing was needed, and will be when they have been healed."

"The Voice of the Holy Spirit is the Call to Atonement, or the restoration of the integrity of the mind. When the Atonement is complete ***and the whole Sonship is healed*** there will be no Call to return. But what God creates (Holy Spirit) is eternal. The Holy Spirit will remain with ***the Sons of God***, to bless ***their creations*** and keep them in the light of joy."

A Course in Miracles is NOT non-duality. It only loosely teaches that "its all ONE" or "we are all one". That's TRUE. We're woven from the same cloth. BUT, it's not the WHOLE truth. We are ONE, BUT, God as the Oneness has created many of us WITHIN His being. And this is NOT contradictory to God, only to the ego. It is miraculous. And this is because God is MIRACULOUS. He HAS done what seems impossible to the ego. He HAS created a Kingdom filled with souls, beings of light, who share everything together as one united family, WITHOUT destroying reality and without fragmenting existence.

"God, who encompasses all being, NEVERTHELESS (regardless of whether you like this or it makes sense) created **separate beings**, who have everything **individually** and want to share it to increase their joy."

Most people believe that death occurs when something outside of your control happens to the body. Some external cause, an act of nature, some environmental influence, a contaminated food, some attack by some external thing or person etc.

This belief is very strong because it is none other than the belief in separation, it is the authority problem, it is the belief in magic, it is level confusion, it's what happens when you believe you can go against God's will - you start to perceive there is a separate will (God's) that is working against your will.

The belief in "inevitable death" is the belief in God's wrath and the inevitability of the consequences of SIN! The innocent have no reason to die!

It's fairly simple to explain that YOUR MIND IS RESPONSIBLE for absolutely everything that happens to your body!

"The mind is responsible for every condition of the body."

"The body is the IDEA (in the mind) of sin, made flesh and projected outwards (by the mind)."

The belief that the body is CAUSED BY something ELSE other than the mind... no matter what that cause seems to be, IT IS NOT TRUE.

The body is not COMING FROM the external world. It is coming from WITHIN. The mind within is projecting the body outwards. It is the ONLY CAUSE OF THE BODY.

The entire point of the course is becoming aware that you are 100% responsible, in mind, for every single thing you choose and everything that happens, such that there is absolutely NO wiggle room for some other stray "causes" to influence you, in any way, on any level.

"I am not a victim of the world I see" proves this. "The world is but an effect" proves this. "There is nothing that can bring oppression or make you ill or weak or afraid" proves this.

THERE IS NO EXTERNAL CAUSE OF DEATH. EVER.

That means the mind is 100% responsible for whether or not the body lives or dies. "No-one dies unless he chooses to do so." "No-one dies without their own consent." This is very clear. It's a BLACK AND WHITE decision. Either you choose to MAKE the body die by killing it with YOUR EGO, or you dissolve the ego and love the body and CAUSE IT to be healthy and alive and INCAPABLE of suffering.

Many ACIM people believe that there is some kind of separation between the mind and the body. And many popular teachers have taught that you must transcend the body and that it doesn't matter because it's not who you are. And this has also led people to believe that whatever state the body is in, IT DOESN'T MATTER, and therefore you can be at peace IN SPITE OF (and should) any sickness that is showing up. THIS IS BULLSHIT! Who the fuck put the sickness there?! YOU DID. "You made sickness and death and therefore can abolish both"!

This is nothing short of the belief that there is STILL an external cause that can produce effects in you and therefore influence the body AGAINST YOUR WILL, causing the body to BECOME sick and suffer and die. It is none other than the ego belief that the body becomes sick through ANY reason OTHER THAN that YOU CHOSE IT. It is the conviction that sickness and death arise "on their own" through some "natural" bullshit cause "separate from you" ie separate from the reach of your own mind. If that's the case, your mind is STILL IMPRISONED in the body because it has not fully opened to sharing and extending and BEING EVERYWHERE.

This is what we have to own up to. The body's condition is 100% totally UNDER YOUR CONTROL. Your mind projects it, makes it, makes it suffer or well. It has no mind of its own, no will of its own, and no say in the matter. It is JUST A TOOL. It's a teaching device and a communication device. That's all. It does not live or die of its own will. Nor does it get sick by itself or as the result of anything beyond your mind. YOU ARE responsible for whether it is sick or healthy, and whether it is alive or dead. And if you do not OWN that responsibility, you ARE CHOOSING TO DISOWN YOURSELF, and that IS AN ACTIVE DECISION TO DIE. And death will result.

There are no exceptions. The body literally cannot enter into sickness in any form without the mind attacking it or using it for attack. And when you stop using it for attack it becomes healthy. THIS IS GUARANTEED. People believe all too strongly that the body has some kind of permanent existence of its own, its own "history", its own continuation, its own identity, and that therefore it exists independently. IT DOES NOT. It is nothing but a SYMBOL in your mind. It has to OBEY YOU. If it dies, you must have commanded it to die. If it lives, you must have commanded it to live.

The body is a MEDIUM through which you communicate. If you send SHIT through it, it becomes clogged up with shit which interferes with communication and makes the body sick. If you send LOVE through it, the love breaks down and heals the shit and clears it away, restoring clarity. Mind that is extending love IS A HEALER, it heals the body, it doesn't just let it sit there suffering and dying. It ACTIVELY HEALS IT.

THIS HAS TO BE SO. It is the principle of resurrection. God's love HEALS, and restores to life that which HAD BEEN DEAD. In order to do that, love has to have a MIRACULOUS QUALITY of being able to RAISE THE DEAD, ie GIVE LIFE TO that which was dead. YOU, as a son of God, in a dream, could not even get back TO God, having sinned, unless LOVE was able to in some way HEAL YOU and UNDO the symptoms of separation. Love heals. Love shines away darkness and sickness and death are darkness.

LOVE RESURRECTS THE BODY and sustains it in perfect health indefinitely so long as it is useful. "The mind, being sane, heals the body."

So it doesn't matter how much you made the body suffer and be sick and get close to death, THAT CAN BE REVERSED BY LOVE. And this is why the body's condition can therefore be restored to HEALTH (the ego opposes health in every way), and MUST and WILL automatically be restored to health when the mind is healthy.

YOU CANNOT STAY DEAD WHEN YOU APPROACH RESURRECTION!

Resurrection means ONLY LIFE IS REAL and death is an illusion and therefore you demonstrate THERE IS ONLY LIFE IN YOU and no death!

That makes the body a temporarily purified and HOLY device for communicating to your brothers and to bring God's love/word to them, which *guarantees* the body's health.

There is no other power or cause which can interfere with this mechanic. There is no such thing as an external threat or danger. The secret to salvation is that you do EVERYTHING to yourself, and if you do not CHOOSE TO HURT YOURSELF, you cannot be hurt. "You cannot be hurt unless you choose to hurt yourselves."

Therefore NOTHING ELSE besides you can cause your body to be sick or dead. And so if you do not choose sickness or death, THEY DO NOT OCCUR and become impossible.

How else, by making sickness and death impossible, could you ever reach a state of atonement and resurrection where you can NO LONGER DIE and you escape death forever? How do you think that is possible, other than for you to have TOTAL POWER OVER ALL CAUSES OF DEATH? Which means, simply recognizing YOU were the only cause of suffering EVER in your existence, and if you do not hurt yourself you WILL NEVER SUFFER AGAIN and will not hurt the body.

This is what "heaven is a choice I must make" means... you MUST CHOOSE NOT TO DIE by embracing a reality of ONLY LIFE. "Swear not to die you holy son of God!!!!"

And then there is nothing that can take that away from you. This makes the body INCAPABLE OF DYING, and therefore it will remain so long as you find it useful. You cannot make it go away by KILLING it, that is not an option. You cannot make it die in order to drop it! If you think it will just die in time "on its own" you are mistaken. YOU MUST ATTACK IT in order to make it sick or dead, and you WILL NOT attack it if you are sane. So how can it die?

You have to make it DISAPPEAR by shining it away with your mind USING LOVE. This is the loving end of the body and the dream of death is NEVER left by death, only by truth and love.

If you choose to die, that's your choice. It's not because of anyone else or anything else in the world. And it is failure. It is failure to reach resurrection and therefore is failure to reach the COMPLETION of the curriculum. Death is a mistake. It is a WRONG ANSWER to the question of what is the truth. If you come up with this answer, you MUST CARRY ON to learn what the real answer is. Death is never the answer. ONLY LIFE IS REAL.