What if everything that's happening in the world is exactly what is supposed to be happening, per everyone's agreement and decision? And there are no accidents or mistakes and nothing is going wrong? And I don't mean, that "bad things" aren't happening, just that they're not happening accidentally or without consent.
On the surface, the world looks like hell. And it's hard to consider that everything is happening according to agreement. But there's more to life than meets the eye.
What if everything that happens can only happen because you agree to it? What if you have to put some kind of contract in place which has to be agreed to by everyone involved, in order for anything to happen? What if everything that happens is completely deliberate, and every single event in the world is deliberately orchestrated and chosen by everyone, on purpose?
What could this purpose be, but to assist you in spiritual awakening?
Before you incarnate, you make agreements with people that they will help you with your spiritual growth by playing certain roles for you. You ask them to do this and they agree freely. A contract is made. The terms of the contract state exactly what the person is to do and that they are to do nothing else. They do not add to the workload or take away from it. They are to play their part faithfully.
This includes contracts that you make with your own ego. You chose, on purpose, to make your ego, so that it would function according to your design and your rules. You wanted it to do certain things for you, to adjust your perception in certain ways, to change your values and beliefs in certain ways, and to fulfill a purpose that you wanted. You wanted the ego to function as a loyal and trustworthy device that would enable you to go through various struggles so that you could awaken spiritually. This is its only purpose.
A lot is said about how the ego is devious and vicious and all of this, pointing the finger at it and making it out to be a horrible enemy. But what role are you playing in that scenario? You are the victim. And this is the lesson. Lessons are there for your benefit to help you to wake up. The ego can be seen as a device for facilitating what's needed in order to awaken, if you perceive it correctly and use it correctly.
A spiritual lesson occurs when there is some part of you which is asleep, or at least that believes it is. This part of you, you put to sleep in the first place. And now it seems to be unaware of some aspect of truth. In its unconsciousness, in certain situations and scenarios with certain people you will suffer and struggle because you do not see the truth. This part of you will act exactly according to how you designed it. The purpose of the lesson is awakening and the solution to the lesson is always to wake up to the truth.
All lessons point to the truth and the outcome of learning a lesson must always be that you come to see the metaphysics or structure or mechanism of the lesson clearly. To step out of the lesson, out of your unawareness into awareness, and out of lies into the truth.
The ego, just like your bodily ailments, just like your relationship woes, just like your enemies, just like your financial struggles, and everything else, is only a device acting under contract to fulfill what you told it to do. It can hardly be to blame for anything when you are the one that made it. And you made it with great intricacy and intelligence, and you could say that it is a beautiful creation. It does for you according to what you wanted it to do for you.
Jesus tells us in the Course not to play down the magnificence of your mind's creative power, or to tell yourself that you are stupid for having created a monster. You must acknowledge and access that your mind is a very powerful creator and that it has been used to create your ego. Regardless of whether the ego is real or not, it is still very impressive - this whole universe is very impressive. You made it.
Also recognize that every person that you encounter, no matter what they do, they are doing because it's part of a lesson in which you asked them, under contract, to come along and treat you this way. Even if they seem to be an enemy, someone that hates you or abuses you or attacks you or even tries to end your life, they are still under contract. There is a spiritual purpose. They are trying to help you. That sounds absurd doesn't it, at least to the unawakened mind. But everyone is in your life because they are playing the roles that you hired them to play. You asked for it. You wanted it.
You wanted it because you wanted to awaken back to God and you need their assistance. You need them to trigger you, to get you to engage with your own ego, to get you to look at your own beliefs, to get you to heal, to get you to learn to forgive, etc. These are valuable lessons. Even the person you hate the most is completely acting under contract with you in agreement with you and according to your will.
Even if you are engaging with them in such a way that it makes it seem you totally do not want them to do what they are doing. Your unwillingness to accept their help is actually the lesson you need to learn. You need to find a way to see them as helpful, as innocent, as serving your highest good, as servicing your spiritual growth, and as being loyal and faithful servants according to everything you wanted.
Initially, asleep, you will react to these contractors with resistance and rebellion, because in your ego state you won't see how they are helping you. And this is what you need to learn... So you need to then transition from your initial reaction, which is blindness and forgetfulness, to becoming aware of a bigger truth, a bigger picture, in which you can see clearly. In that clarity you come to realize how they are doing what you asked, how you are not a victim, how you wanted this, how you contracted it yourself, and how you have been dutifully served.
At some point, when your lesson has been learned, and you have come to recognize the truth, you will see all of the ways that a person who once was seen as your enemy was in fact your best friend trying to help you wake up. You will see clearly, without having to add anything to the situation, that it's actually true that you asked them to do what they did. You will also see clearly that everything they did helped you, that you grew from it, that you gained awakening from it. You will see how it benefited you in the bigger picture of your life.
At this point, with clarity and truth and recognition and having therefore transcended the lesson, you will be perfectly poised to enter into genuine gratitude. This does not mean artificially forced gratitude or people-pleasing gratitude or trying to be positive gratitude. It is a gratitude that involves an appreciation - an understanding - a recognition - of what has really happened. It's the ability to see. It's the ability to recognize that this person has served you selflessly and faithfully according to what you wanted and the only possible genuine response to that is genuine gratitude.
And so you will look at this person recognizing their innocence, because they obviously can't be to blame for doing to you what you asked them to do to you. And you will see their help as welcome. And you will recognize the great benefit it has given you. And you wI'll appreciate their help. And in this moment there is a kind of reverence and sacredness or recognition. It's like the two of you will bow before each other, the fight is over, and you are both in full acknowledgement of a job well done. Services rendered. Contract completed to perfection. No loose ends, no resentments, no ties, no desire to get rid of the person or end their involvement prematurely, no grief or sense of loss of harm, just total appreciation.
And then it's as if you both bow in divine brotherhood and see each other as being absolutely the best of friends and for each other, and set each other free. And it is in this moment of freedom and love that you are finally set free of the contract. This is the only way that you can complete a lesson and be free of a contract. This is what al lessons are leading to - a recognition of your freedom and innocence and truth and equality with all your brothers. No victims. No enemies.
So with any problem you have, be it a person or a body sickness or a financial struggle or a noisy neighbor or whatever it is, while you see the problem as unnecessary, unwanted, uncalled for, inappropriate, unjustified, un-asked-for, or in any way happening outside of your will, you will be lost in the ego. And you will therefore be in the midst of a lesson and will need to learn a thing or two about the truth. You can fight with your helpers all you want, that won't help. You can struggle with your contractors, that won't help. You can try to get rid of the problem, that won't help either. You got what you asked for and nothing else. You put this thing into place, on your own, and nobody put it there for you. So at least admit to that and stop attacking what you made.
So how to do you find freedom when you're in a lesson? Forgiveness. Undoing the ego perspectives. Shifting your perception away from attack and toward welcome. Shifting your way of looking at things as happening for you, not to you. Using it as an opportunity to be triggered so that you can look at and heal what you do not want to look at. Allowing the problem to attack you so that you can see how you believe you are attackable, so that you can learn not to attack. Ultimately the purpose is for you to sort out what is really true from what is apparently false and to receive love in everything that happens.
So if you can shift your viewpoint this way and learn your lesson, you will find that you are in a moment of mutual recognition with the thing you made - the contract you created - the person you hired - the sickness you put in place - the lack you chose etc... where you can acknowledge full responsibility for what has occurred, claim the full benefits of the lesson, recognize the innocence and compliance of everyone involved, and set both you and that problem free in a moment of gratitude and welcome.
What you made cannot leave your presence until you can set it free in gratitude and recognition. Any measure of seeing it as your enemy or unwanted attaches you to it and keeps it hounding you, because then you have not learned your lesson. If you want to be free of something, you have to see how you made it yourself and why you wanted it and what you gained from it. What are the benefits? How did it serve you? Where is the silver lining? What function did you give to it? It's simply a matter of whether you truly want to continue with the need for the functionality of this self-made device or not.
And if your ultimate, very long-term goal is to awaken to God's love, then you'll be perfectly happy to keep your devices and not get rid of them, simply because you know that you still need them until you can learn your lesson. Your priority above all else is to learn to awakening to the truth, to return to God, which is more valuable to you and important to you than anything else. So given that, why would you want to keep getting rid of the very lessons that are helping you to wake up? Not that you must suffer... only if it helps you awakening and only for so long as is needed to learn the lesson. You need not suffer at all.
"What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? (W-135.13)" - ACIM
It's all for the best.
It can only seem justified if you believe you have all the information, all the facts, and full awareness of everything that is happening.
If you believe you have full awareness and yet something is happening against your will, you will be justified in being angry.
If it's really true that, given all the obvious evidence, it seems that someone else is the culprit, then you are justified in being angry.
But if the truth is that you do not really have all the information, or all the facts, and your awareness is actually blocked - meaning there are some facts outside your conscious awareness - then it's possible your anger might be misplaced and unjustified.
When awareness is then increased, it may reveal new facts, such as that you in fact are attacking yourself, or you hired someone to attack you, or you believe you are a sinner and want to get rid of your sin onto someone else. When that information comes to light, you can see that anger is not justified. It's not justified because the basis for it is not true anymore. Given the facts you are now aware of, it doesn't make sense to believe that others are guilty.
It's no longer true that it was someone else attacking you. It was you attacking you and trying to get rid of your self attack by blaming it on someone else. That's what's really going on. That's the full picture. And in that view, you can't be justified in being angry at someone else.
And all attack is self-attack, there is no attack by others, every time you are blaming others you're really not aware of what you're doing to yourself, and you're always trying to get rid of your own self-attack/sin. Meaning, you are NEVER truly in a position where anger is justified.
No-one else is ever anything other than completely innocent. And ultimately your own self-attack is also unreal and untrue and unjustified.
See, beyond the awareness that you really did attack yourself, there is even MORE information that you are not aware of. Even more facts. Fact is, the attack you think you did to yourself that you think was real and true, was not actually real or true and isn't really happening in reality.
Fact is, you cannot sin because you are innocent. So, with that information at hand, that you are innocent, self-attack cannot be justified either. Seeing the senselessness of it, you will drop it.
Sometimes you may not realize that you are being a victim, particularly if you are angry.
A person becomes angry as a reaction to the perception that something has happened to them that they didn't seem to choose.
The perception of things happening outside of your will, is victimhood, and usually entails some 'other' source or person that 'causes' the situation. And since they seemed to choose it 'for you', you see yourself as being unfairly or unjustly treated.
Then you believe that your anger is justified because you see yourself as 'innocent', i.e. it's not you that's wrong, but the other.
Whenever it is the other that is wrong, i.e. you are angry at them for any reason, believing they have done something, you ARE in victimhood.
Now, it may not seem like victimhood, because we may usually think of victimhood as when you feel afraid or you've been attacked and are hurt or whatever. But if you're in anger, you definitely are experiencing and perceiving yourself as a victim, or as having been victimized.
Anger comes out of the hurt. Anger comes out of the victimization.
You may not realize that being angry is being a victim, because the anger turns into victimization or outward attack/retaliation, which makes it feel like you are 'empowered' or 'rising up against' the oppressor, which gives you a false sense of being justified in making THEM a victim, which conceals the fact that if you are angry, you DO perceive yourself as a victim and are playing a victim role.
This absolutely REQUIRES that you, cooperatively, willingly, and freely, have actually chosen to go along with the perception of seeing the situatuation in such a way, that you look like you've been victimized. It requires your own mind to look at the role you're playing in the situation, and to conclude that you didn't ask for this. this is of course grossly mistaken because you cannot be an unwilling victim. I know that is incredibly controversial and maybe hard to accept, but the mind actually USES situations to position you as victimizable and attacked, because it has motives that run much deeper than just this situation (such as the death wish, or the desire to be unconscious).
So as the Course says, "anger is NEVER justified".
It's never justified because nothing ever happens to you against your will. And you MUST have chosen to perceive yourself as being in a 'victim dynamic' in order for you to then experience the reaction to that perception, which manifests as anger or righteousness.
So yes. If you are angry and upset in any way, you MUST be believing you are a victim, and probably you are blaming the other person, and probably you are not admitting honestly the part that you play in this.
It requires tremendous HONESTY to be able to realize and admit not only that you are angry because YOU CHOOSE TO BE, and not only that you're angry because YOU VICTIMIZED YOURSELF through your false perception, but also to be honest enough to admit that IF you do not choose to see yourself in this 'role' or 'relationship' to 'other', then you CANNOT experience yourself as a victim and therefore cannot be angry.
I myself did not realize that being angry was being a victim, until Jesus pointed this out. And if you see yourself as victimized, your anger WILL turn into victimization quite quickly. Then you will retaliate. That's what anger is, a retaliation (reaction) against a perceived mis-treatment. But you can never be mis-treated. If you see yourself mis-treated, you are mistaken in your perception and you are unaware of the power of your own mind.
The opposite of love is fear. Love is power.
The opposite of power is powerlessness. Therefore, fear is powerlessness.
I think you'll agree when you are afraid you are in a victim mode, you feel helpless, powerless, things are happening you cannot control, you can't do anything to stop it, you're scared its going to get worse, its happening to you, you seem to be weak and frail, you can't seem to go up against it becacuse it seems to be overpowering you etc.
Powerlessness is weakness, it is vulnerability, it is littleness and being small, it is hiding from yourself and God, it is shrinking into darkness, it is lack of love, it is being entirely at the effect of the world, it is disowning the power of decision, the freedom to choose, and a giving away of all responsibility.
If you are dis-empowered, meaning, you have pretended to have no power and are trying to make sure everyone other than you has it to use against you, you will be afraid. Fear is the feeling of being under threat.
You could only ever be under threat from something that could potentially cause you in some way - to have power over you to change you or affect you. And so fear requires you see yourself as a victim, under the power of the world.
As you reclaim your power and own up to being a son of God, you reclaim the power of God and become stronger. And this strength creates safety, and in turn reduces fear. Eventually you will realize you cannot be attacked at all, unless you attack yourself. And so you have only ever been scaring yourself with your own power.
"Do you not see that all your misery comes from the strange belief that you are powerless?"
"Each one contains the whole of fear, the opposite of love, (in all its ways), the hell that hides the memory of God, the crucifixion of His holy Son."
"The army of the powerless is weak indeed. It has no weapons, and it has no enemy."
"The slave of idols is a WILLING slave. For willing he MUST be, to let himself bow down in worship to what has no life, and seek for power in the powerless."
"Faith given to illusions does NOT lack power, for, BY it, does the Son of God believe that he is powerless."
"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the FEAR OF AWAKENING. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of CONSCIOUSNESS. This is a pathetic way of TRYING NOT TO KNOW by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
"I am not weak, but strong. I am not helpless, but all powerful."
"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you. Yet when you accord it mercy, will its mercy shine on you."
"The miracle ITSELF is but the witness that you HAVE the power of God in you."
"It is only your weakness that will depart from you in this practice, for it is the practice of the power of God in you."
"All fear is ultimately reducible to the basic misperception of man's ability to USURP the power of God. It is again emphasized that he neither CAN nor HAS been able to do this. In this statement lies the real justification for his escape from fear. This is brought about by his acceptance of the Atonement, which places him in a position to realize that his own errors never really occurred."
"If perfect love casts out fear, And if fear exists, Then there is NOT perfect love. But ... Only perfect love really exists. Therefore, if there is fear, it creates a state which does not exist. Believe THIS and you WILL be free."
When you try to remove something from your life but you aren't genuinely ready and healed to the point of recognizing that you're already detached from it, it is like ripping it out and trying to enforce a state of compliance. That is the ego working overtime, taking over the spiritual path to try to be the enforcer of spiritual laws on a behavioral level.
You cannot let go of something while you value it or while you believe it is the truth. And regardless of whether that thing is good for your sanity or not, or even if it is making you suffer, the demand to remove it when you're not ready to brings about sacrifice. And usually it means you are "should-ing" yourself.
It is the ego's way of attempting correction without actually correcting anything. It wants to simply take an axe to anything in your life that has been deemed "unspiritual" or not in alignment with "the course" etc, as if doing so will make you more spiritual. And yet these so-called unspiritual things are OF the ego. So then it's the ego pretending to get rid of the ego, which it will attempt to do with great gusto. That passionate slaying of the dragon passes for what appears to be a valiant effort to be more spiritual, but really keeps and reinforces and increases the ego.
So sacrifice, while seeming to be a call for a reduction of ego, is actually a call for an increase of ego, masked by the illusion that sacrificing has the same 'goal' as true spirituality. If the course says you are not a body, the ego will come along and say "get rid of the body otherwise you are not being spiritual". Yes the goals are the same, but the reasoning and the consequences and the purpose of this information is different. Or rather, how the goal is obtained is different. Spirit would have you gently look at what makes you believe the body is real and to examine how beliefs you've held are in fact false, so that you can recognize you are not them, thus releasing them, avoiding the need for sacrifice. But the ego would tell you, ok, you gotta get rid of this shit, you are not spiritual enough.
The ego's intention therefore is to reinforce the sense that you are deprived, not good enough, not spiritual enough, and lacking, such that it will compel you to "sacrifice more" in order to become more spiritual in a short space of time. This really is a device to increase the sense of separation between what you are (love) and what you think you are (ego) by affirming just how in need of correction you are. What it means then is that underneath this attempt to sacrifice is some form of guilt which is telling you "you're not spiritual enough" and "you need to get more spiritual urgently", which compels a sense of panic and attack, taking the form of sweeping cuts to all kinds of things which you're not ready to relinquish.
Sacrifice then is the ego trying to be spiritual, trying to move too fast, trying to enforce the Course's truth before you are ready, trying to make out that you are in spiritual poverty and therefore need some horrific sweeping tools to correct you. This is not what the Holy Spirit asks of you. It is not what the Course asks of you. It is what the ego tries to make of the course, in the name of upholding its truths.
Holy Spirit asks only that you become willing, of your own free will, to have your perception corrected, when you are ready, so that you can SEE clearly what is true and what is false, so that you can recognize that what you thought was valuable is not, and what you thought was true is false, and thereby recognize that you no longer want the ego. Only then can you genuinely be willing to let go of it, or rather, recognize that it never really was something you had to begin with. Then it falls away without any fanfare or enforcement or effort. And certainly no sense of sacrifice or pushing or urgency. Holy Spirit is infinitely patient and kind in this matter and would never ask you to be ripped from the ego while you still believe it is who you are.
Be kinder to yourself today in recognition of what you still have left to correct and let Holy Spirit be the gentle corrector, according to your genuine willingness and readiness, and try not to impose artificial enforcement upon yourself asking for sacrifice. It's ok to take your time and it's okay to still be doing "all the guilty things" that are "of the ego" for as long as you need to, while you're still believing in them. Correction needs to take place at the level of willingness and readiness, not at the level of leaping ahead and skipping steps just to prove you are worthy of God.
I don't want to let go of attachments because I don't trust that everything will be okay unless I am in control.
Holy Spirit is asking us to be set free (!) of the need to have outcomes be controlled, or follow what we think is in our best interests. We want to be in the drivers seat with our ego, directing things and enforcing things, trying to resist what IS and instead enforce what we THINK things should be.
This is all about ego control and manipulation. I want to control so that I can seem to 'make happen' a particular situation. I don't trust that things will be okay unless I don't do this. I do this because I've become convinced that I NEED the situation to be this way. I think I have this need because I've got some kind of funky ego belief telling me that if things AREN'T this way then I will not be happy, or getting what I want or need. ie I'm going to lose or have lack or have something taken away if I don't make things be a certain way.
So this really boils down to fear, not feeling safe, and the belief that we need to put up defenses against what's happening in order to protect ourselves from attack. The trouble is that these very mechanisms, which are mechanisms of control and resistance, are the very things which CREATE a belief in attack because they ARE an attack.
Each time you create an expectation, or invest into attaining a particular outcome, you are setting yourself up for failure. There's a good chance events are not going to go the way you expect them to, and when that happens you will react unhappily. There is also a chance things will go the way you want, which is the ego's carrot on a stick, and then you think you have somehow 'won' the prize of getting away with murder. But its a gamble that you will likely at some point lose.
These investments into NEEDING things to be a certain way, to fulfill some kind of strange belief that 'then I will be happy' or 'I can't be happy when things aren't the way I want them to be', 'attach' us to these outcomes. We're pinning our hopes on them. We're depending on them. We're relying on things going the way we want and build up all this fear and anticipation about it turning out.
This 'attaches' our mind to these outcomes because if we DEPEND on these outcomes/events/people for happiness then we're HOLDING ONTO the ego's false promise or fantasy that GETTING this outcome will bring you salvation. Salvation will free you from whatever supposed 'need' you think you have and deliver you from the 'suffering' that you think you will experience, or maybe even do experience, when outcomes aren't the way you want them to be.
So really this is all about looking for salvation in the wrong place. Putting our faith into being CAUSED to be happy when certain things happen or certain events line up in a certain way. We're depending on EXTERNAL stuff to change what our experience is, and are relying on someone or something else to happen TO us to indirectly CHANGE us into the desirable state we're trying to achieve. This indirectness is passive and is also the role of the victim, in which you are sometimes at risk of attack and sometimes at risk of reward, and are gambling that if you steer things toward reward then you can avoid attack. But both are depending on the ego and both depend on external, separate things, to come along and affect you in a preferable way.
You can only be affected by things if you are not being responsible for yourself. You can only be changed by external things if you are not being who you really are. You can only have your happiness affected positively or negatively by outside influences if you are not aware that Joy is within you and comes from God and can never be removed. And you will only seek and not find salvation in these external outcomes if you are not finding contentment and needlessness within yourself. You will keep seeking (attaching to/depending upon) and not finding (losing/suffering) while you believe that you have a real need that is unfulfilled and that needs to or can be fulfilled (finding salvation) by some external, separate source beyond your control. And so then your attempt to control is an attempt to control what is beyond your control, to try to coerce it into becoming what you want (your savior).
So it really all comes back to whether you believe that you don't have God. Or that you are not as God created you. Or that you're lacking or failing in some way or have an absence of sustenance from God. If you're `in need` then you will seek and you will project and you will seek for false idols and you will attach yourself and become DEPENDENT UPON external stuff. This dependency is a form of slavery and is a form of losing yourself or 'transferring' yourself into the external thing. And this BINDS you to the ego's `level 1` world of duality and suffering. It binds you to the physical form and it binds you to a separate existence. All of your external dependencies and false needs keep you weighed down in the quagmire of darkness in the ego's world, and prevent you from staying squarely in the Holy Spirit.
So we need to let go of mentally and emotionally depending on anything other than God, essentially. Depending on God means looking to God for fulfillment and happiness and meeting all needs and TRUSTING that you will be taken care of if you let go of trying to care of everything yourself. But it does involve a surrender. You have to let go of your tight grip of fear that says... I won't fully let go because if I do, shit is going to happen that I don't want... which really means, shit will happen that does not align with your ego's plans for what IT thinks will bring you salvation, which is GROSSLY MISTAKEN and actually leading you into suffering. Holy Spirit's plan is better ;-)
So it's really about learning to trust Holy Spirit, to develop a trust that you CAN and should let go and allow and accept in order to RECEIVE LOVE and SUPPORT and HOLY HELP, and that it is SAFE to do so, and that it does not mean horrible suffering will follow. Going from fearfully holding on to surrendering and letting go takes a bit of a leap of faith. But once you've taken it, you'll let God be on your side. And you have mighty companions.
Those who are angry about what other people have said or done, AGREE with what the person has said or done. I BET YOU DON'T LIKE TO HEAR THAT! lolol
This applies no matter the topic, whether it's being angry at politicians or angry at the government or angry at neighbors or coworkers or people of a certain religion or because of how certain other people are treating certain other people. It doesn't matter.
If you're angry at someone, YOU AGREE WITH THEM.
If you did not agree with them, you would maintain perfectly calm, perfectly poised. You would be unshaken. You would not move. You would have CERTAINTY. You would be confident. You wouldn't be moved in your viewpoint just because of what someone said or did. You would not lose your center. You would KNOW YOURSELF and anything going against that you're RECOGNIZE as false.
When you know yourself, you are acknowledging that you have not changed and you cannot BE changed, by anyone or anything. Another way of saying that is, you recognize you cannot be and are not a victim. You can't be influenced. You can't be damaged. You can't be vulnerable. And you can't be made to become pissed off at someone or something going on outside of you. But if you don't recognize that what's false is false, and you believe instead that it's TRUE, you WILL be upset by it, and it WILL disturb your peace, and it WILL be because you AGREE WITH IT. Whatever is true to you, you agree with, even if it is not really true.
He who gets wound up and angry and reacts really quickly in a rage obviously is deeply HURT by what someone says or does, but the truth is, this hurt is only experienced because the person has touched upon a hurt - a sensitivity or 'psychological bruise' that already exists in then. It triggers an old memory of when someone did this before. It brings up old feelings. It attacks the sense of ego self which is composed of guilt and made from beliefs, formed perhaps decades before, from previous hurtful experiences.
If someone says or does something and I become upset in any way, it's because I believe it's true. I might express that I don't WANT to believe it's true, and I may try to DENY that I believe it's true, and I may project ownership or responsibility for the belief into the attacking person, BUT... it's ALL MY OWN STUFF. If I am upset due to someone's expression, *I* have a problem, and I had that problem before that person even appeared. I don't want to ADMIT that I agree with them, but somewhere deep down inside, I am only upset because they remind me of what I think is true about myself.
Those who are angry and upset have the hardest time admitting that they actually, deep down, believe what the person is saying. And that's largely because anger is a very strong force of projection which hurls inner guilt outward and then attacks it to try to get rid of it. It's then extremely CONVENIENT to blame the whole thing on the person who seemed to trigger this response. But if I'm upset, it's because *I* BELIEVE* that what's happened is the TRUTH. I cannot be upset by what is false if I know it is false. Truth is STRENGTH.
So today, as I'm upset and angry about certain people and things that happened, I have to admit... I must believe they're telling the truth, somehow, in some way. Somewhere inside they've tapped into some old pain that I haven't healed. And in that way, they're actually trying to POINT IT OUT so that I will heal it. So then, for that service, I should be GRATEFUL to them for bringing this to my attention. But while I'm stuck in blame and "you made me upset" and "you did this to me"... I won't own up to the real truth here.... I actually deep down believe they're telling the truth, otherwise what would my reaction be?
I'D LAUGH MY HEAD OFF AT THE RIDICULOUSNESS!
If I KNEW their expression is false and I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S TRUE, I will stay in light and joy and just laugh and not perceive myself attacked or harmed in any way. Being aware of the truth reveals the ridiculous unbelievability of lies and illusions. If I forget to laugh, however, I will enter into self-attack and then blame it on everyone else, having first hurt myself with my own condemnation. If I've lost track of what is REALLY TRUE, and I think other stuff is true, I WILL be upset by it whenever someone says "this is true" and it resonates to what I secretly believe about myself. I MUST forgive all of my mistaken perceptions and allegiances to what is false if I am to regain inner peace.
So where are you at today? Did someone push your buttons? Why do you even have buttons? Who put the buttons there to begin with? When will you admit to believing in these buttons? And when will you be willing to let God heal them for you?
Imagine you are sitting in a room by yourself. There is no-one else in the room. If you happen to be in a room by yourself right now, all the better.
Now realize, that nothing and no-one outside of the walls of this room has anything to do with what you feel or perceive or think or experience.
There isn't a single thing you are experiencing now or have ever experienced that's got anything to do with anyone outside of the room.
If you are upset about someone, upset by someone, afraid about someone, angry with someone, or whatever... it's not true. You are not upset because of them. You are never upset for the reason you think. There can be no connections or bridges or joins or ways of concluding that what's going on in you or in your room is coming from outside of it.
Now, let's shrink the room down to the size of your body. Your body is a room. You are inside the room. You are the only one inside your room. The walls of the room are the body itself.
Nothing outside of the body itself is causing you to experience anything whatsoever. You are not caused by other people, things in the environment, objects, events, circumstances or anything else. Even the body itself, as the walls of the room, is not the cause of anything you are experiencing.
The body is not the cause of your upset, the body is not the reason you are sick, the body is not making you afraid, the body is not to blame for anything, and the body has never done and never will do anything to you.
Nothing outside of you, and the body IS outside of you, is the cause of anything inside of you. Whatever you are experiencing, it's happening because something inside of you is choosing poorly or is mistaken about something. You must be in a state of attacking your own self from within if you are upset in any way.
Any reactions you are having, about your body or the room or the world or other people, cannot be the truth. Reactions are beliefs that something outside of you is causing you and producing effects in you, thus changing you against your will. Any reaction to anything anyone else is experiencing or doing is an illusion, covering up what you are doing to yourself.
The secret to salvation is that you are but doing this to yourself, whatever it is. It can never be the fault or blame or another person or of your own body. It's you. You need to forgive yourself for what you have not really done. You did not really sin, and God still loves you.
Just because you forget the light from time to time doesn't mean it goes away. It is permanent. It waits for you to return to it. And even after your next round of madness it is still there waiting for your return. It's never possible to remove it and it doesn't go away.
The ego's voice will come up with countless ways to persuade you that there is no light left anymore. All doom and gloom and darkness and death. It'll tell you there is no light and you might as well give up. This is not actually true. The light is always there, inviting you to join it.
To join the light you have to step out of the darkness, which means no longer dwelling in the ego's viewpoint and shifting your perspective to the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is the light of truth.
Taking things lightly or lightening up doesn't have to mean you've got to fake being happy or not care about anything. It means you get to genuinely be happy and carefree because the light sets you free. The "light side" is a way of looking, a way of perceiving, and a way of experiencing. It arises from sanity and truth and certainty.
The Holy Spirit's offering is one of peace and calm and illumination and clarity. He is available to show you a view of the world which can't be taken seriously, which shows you how trivial everything is here, and recognizes that all this ego stuff really is literally nothing.
What were you so worried about? It was nothing. What was so alarming and shocking? It's nothing. The Holy Spirit looks upon the illusion of "the dark side" and recognizes it is false. It has no truth to it. It has no credibility. It isn't to be listened to and has no argument that can convince the Holy Spirit it has a solid foundation. The Holy Spirit merely looks upon it, recognizes it is completely false, and that therefore there really IS no ego. It IS nothing.
If you are caught up in the story of life or the suffering agenda of the ego or the seeming bleakness of the ego's lies, then you need some light. You can't just `lighten up` by denying, however. Sometimes you have to work through your clouds and process your feelings and coming to a point where you're ready to look at things in a different way.
But at some point you DO need to open up to the Holy Spirit. You can't get to the light by ignoring him or not including Him. Similarly Jesus is with you in the light and you can't be in the light without Him being with you.
There is hope, because darkness is never permanent or true and the light is forever and always truthful. There is hope because the Holy Spirit is with you now and always will be and WILL NOT FAIL to lead you home to the light. We but need to be willing to stop listening to our own ego voice and turn within to listen to His voice of sanity and calm and reassurance.
Everything IS alright. Nothing has gone wrong. We are already saved.
Let's also remember that God Himself has appointed the Holy Spirit as his ANSWER to all of our suffering and darkness. God has GIVEN His support. He is in us, eager to help us in any way possible if we would allow it. His Help has no limits other than our resistance to accept it. It isn't bits of truth or quotes or thoughts or certain feelings or justifications or explanations that will save you, it is the LIGHT OF GOD - as the Holy Spirit - in your mind. This is what you need to connect with. He is your APPOINTED TEACHER, comforter, and friend. He is there for a reason. Use him.
Last night I used the below process, but in a different way. I did it VERY slowly. I re-stated each phrase several times over and really let it sink in before moving on to the next one. I actually found this to be quite powerful.
For example, in saying that I decided wrongly.. when I really dwell on that I come to realize that I actually DECIDED and I get in touch with that sense of responsibility and decision-making at having been the one who not only put in place this upset, but actually chose it myself.
There is tremendous power in getting in touch with your power of decision. Your decision making is not just a neutral act, it has power to it. It is causal. And I've also started to dabble in the idea of... .instead of just reacting to stuff and going along with it, instead, stopping and DECIDING... "I am" or "I am not" .... and feeling a kind of instantaneous change simply by making a firm decision.
I also inquired about the last sentence... letting Him decide for God for me. Jesus clarified that this really means allowing Holy Spirit to 'favor' or 'choose FOR rather than AGAINST' God, on my behalf. Allowing Him to favor God and to then accept His viewpoint. In this way, "for God" really means "towards God" or "in agreement with God". That made more sense to me.
"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace.
I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM.
I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me."
It's also quite important to keep in mind the statement Jesus makes just prior to this prayer:
"But let me first remind you of something I told you myself. Whenever you are not wholly joyous, it is because you have reacted with a lack of love to some Soul which God created. Perceiving this as sin, you become defensive because you EXPECT ATTACK. The decision to react in that way, however, was YOURS, and can therefore be undone. It CANNOT be undone by repentance in the usual sense, because this implies guilt. If you allow yourself to feel guilty, you will reinforce the error, rather than allowing it to be undone FOR you.
Decisions CANNOT be difficult. This is obvious if you realize that you must ALREADY have made a decision NOT to be wholly joyous if that is what you feel. Therefore, the first step in the undoing is to recognize that YOU ACTIVELY DECIDED WRONGLY, BUT CAN AS ACTIVELY DECIDE OTHERWISE.
Be very firm with yourselves in this, and keep yourselves fully aware of the fact that the UNDOING process, which does NOT come from you, is nevertheless WITHIN you because God placed it there. YOUR part is merely to return your thinking to the point at which the error was made, and give it over to the Atonement in peace. Say to yourselves the following, as sincerely as you can, remembering that the Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation:"