Whatever the extent of your conscious awareness is right now, if it is not technically an awareness of God or the whole of your True Self, then somewhere in you there is unconsciousness.
In spite of that fact, you will still believe that the full scope of your current conscious awareness is the "whole" of who you are, the "whole" of the truth, and the sum total of all information that's present.
The problem is, if you have unconsciousness to any degree, there is some information you are not aware of. You will then attempt to come to conclusions based on all the information available to you at the moment. It will seem then to make sense to you.
This for example is why people become justified in being angry. They are unconscious of the way they have projected sin onto others, unaware of the full dynamics of the situation. It then *seems* (an illusion) that, because of a block to awareness, it is perfectly logical and sensible to conclude, based on what you are *aware of*, that the other person is the one who caused your upset. Then you will be justified in being angry or blaming them. But this is because you do not see the whole picture.
Anyone in a body who has an ego, has some unconsciousness. That also means, their sense of identity is limited, and therefore there is some kind of illusion of a self which is *blocking* awareness. This illusion of self is a mask or facade or persona. Typically this persona presents itself as "innocent". Everyone thinks they are innocent. That's because this innocence HIDES, and makes unconscious, their guilt.
You have to realize then that you have a facade of fake innocence which has blinded you. You have to also realize that, even if you THINK you are fully aware right now, are fully yourself, or are fully in the truth, you probably are not (unless you really are with God). You will not BE AWARE that you have an unconscious mind. You ego persona will deny it and cover it up. But it is there.
This means you have to be willing to question your facade of fake innocence and whether there might be DENIAL happening, which is hiding truth from you. When truth is hidden you cannot see correctly and WILL come to false conclusions. This confusion then is responsible for ALL UPSET, resulting from mis-perceiving what is happening. You NEED more information in order to properly evaluate what is happening. You need a bigger picture. Without it, you are blinded and will react to illusions.
This might sound obvious and a no-brainer, but it can be quite obscure to both realize and believe and accept that God is with you at all times. Like, intimately inside you.
It can feel safer, for example, to relate to the Holy Spirit or Jesus, keep an abstract, nebulous idea of God further afield at a distance. After all, direct full experience of God is typically a revelation experience, seemingly once in a lifetime.
I only occasionally remember to really commune with God and to get an experience of Him being right here with me right now, like, close-up, inside my mind. Experiencable. Then I forget. As my mind then wanders off on tangents of thinking, it's as if I'm so quickly forgetting that God is present each and every time. God is like this ultimate truth and reality which is "blocked" by any kind of block to awareness and so easily out of sight, out of mind.
But I've been dabbling with this moreso recently, of allowing and accepting God to be with me. The other day I had this nice open experience, where the Holy Spirit was revealing his love and helping me to know that God has not only "always been here" but will "always be here".
It's interesting that God is so permanently present. He is always here. He's with you now. He's always been with you. Just saying that fills me with something divine. The question isn't so much whether God connects with you or not but whether you slip off into a snooze and start dreaming of something else, imagining you are exiled away from where God is.
"You are safe in God, dreaming of exile, but perfectly capable of waking to reality."
It seems so basic and primitive, just the notion that God Himself would be close to you, that you would share with Him, directly communicate with Him, allow His Presence to fill you, receive His love, know HIm, on a long-term basis and not as a "hi how are ya" that lasts for 10 seconds. But as we approach God, perhaps this time accepting, allowing, inviting and being with God, in God, extends until it becomes permanent. And then you are always AWARE that you are with God at all times.
As Jesus said, he was always with God and aware of His Presence. It is that kind of openness and clarity and joining and relationship that is a prerequisite for miracle working.
In A Course in Miracles there are at least TWO levels on which Jesus speaks, because there are TWO stages in awakening.
There is the level that you relate to as an individual self, waking up to your higher self.
Then there is the level of the entire sonship waking up to the Christ self.
The individual self projects illusions ONTO the dream world which the Christ self is dreaming.
That means, the individual self undoes itself by taking back its projections onto or about others, and forgiving itself. This leads to awakening as the Higher Self. One son in the sonship. People wakening to this level generally do not express many miracles and will still die in a body. Examples: Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Mooji, various Hindu yogis etc
But then there is more. Christ is beyond this. Christ is the dreamer of the physical world and is the maker of it. And Christ has full power over all of it. At this level the body is completely dissolved and disappears, which Jesus demonstrated.
These two levels have led to a rift in the ACIM community. Those who relate only to the individual awakening try to shove everything Jesus teaches into that box and make it fit. This results in the complete disempowering of supernatural miracles and a redefinition of them as just corrections in perception. That's not what Jesus means by miracles at all.
Miracles are at the level of the Christ mind overriding the dream that the Christ mind is dreaming. And that means, overriding all of the physical laws that the Christ mind is sustaining as the way this world operates. Such miracles are beyond the nature of the physical world (dream), they are SUPER-NATURAL. Everything Jesus says about miracles relates to the mind of Christ, not to the mind of the sonship.
These two levels in awakening (sonship vs christ) are the entire reason why there is a community rift, why some people believe that the Course is only asking us to change our misperceptions about a pre-existing world, to accept peace in the presence of sickness, to become peaceful or have true perception "about" the world. And the Course DOES want us to do this - it's the first stage in awakening. BUT THERE IS MORE.
Stage 2 entails waking up as Christ and demonstrating supernatural miracles all over the place, knowing that you made sickness and death and can abolish both. This is also the level on which Jesus teaches "there is no world" - this is the level where this is LITERAL, because the physical world is a dream.
Those who attempt to smash all of Jesus's teachings from all levels onto ONE level, result in a tremendous amount of confusion and delusion and limitation and closed-mindedness about what the Course is teaching and what it means. This produces a "sanitized" course, void of real miracles, void of anything supernatural, and void of the power to change anything or to stop or reverse death.
Certain statements Jesus makes are directed at the second phase of awakening to Christ, and make no sense at the first stage. Assuming there is only one stage or only one awakening is a huge mistake.
This is something I was very confused by for a loooooong time because so many people are also confused by this and just assume the Course has a single truth pertaining to a single level of experience. Jesus is speaking of at least 3 levels - the false ego self projecting ONTO the world, the Higher Self which is awake IN the world, and the Christ self which has awakened FROM the world.
Knowing when Jesus is talking about a specific CONTEXT or a level of AWARENESS or IDENTITY, is very important in properly discerning what He means, what He is referring to, and how it makes sense in the bigger picture. Most ACIM students are lost in believing that the Course has 1 level, that you should just change your mind about the world and find some way to be at peace with it, and then stay in the world and die and be hurt like all the rest of the world. That's WAAAY falling short of what ACIM is teaching and is a bastardization of the Course (by the ego, no doubt).
For example:
"The world you see does not exist." "There is no world"
This is at the level of CHRIST. It is LITERAL at this level. The physical universe does not exist and it has no power over you and you can change it in any way you see fit because it is your dream. You have that power.
If you interpret this at the level of an individual Son in the sonship, as an individual self, in a body, you will interpret this to mean that the "world" is your interpretation of the world, about the world, projected onto the world, and that you need to correct that "perception" in order to wake up. Well, NO! This is wrong. You need to correct perception but this only leads to the undoing of perception, NOT the undoing of the making of the world. This belief is a level confusion.
Another example:
"Seek not to change the world but seek to change your mind about the world"
At the level of CHRIST, this means your mind has power over the world and CAN change the world any way that it sees fit for any reason, because the Christ mind is the one that is dreaming it and LITERALLY can perform "physical miracles".
At the level of the personal mind, this is MIS-UNDERSTOOD (because it's being applied at the wrong LEVEL and it thus level confusion) to mean that you should only change your mis-perceptions of the world, self and others, in order to come to awakening to truth, and that's it... no power over the world, no power over physical matter, no ability to stop the dream or change it, really a form of resigning oneself to a state of "accepting the world as it is", which is a state of POWERLESSNESS AND VICTIMHOOD. It is a TRAP!
Recognizing the levels is very important to avoid these mistakes, but because these mistakes are made prolifically, MANY MANY MANY course students are very confused about what Jesus teaches and what the Course is teaching.
Here is yet another way to explain why death is not part of the program for a miracle worker.
1. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real can be hurt, attacked, made sick, or dead. Reality has eternal life.
2. If there is sickness or death showing up, it MUST be an ILLUSION of sickness and death, not REAL sickness or REAL death.
3. There is no such thing as real sickness or real death.
4. An illusion can only persist so long as something about it is not recognized. This is how all puzzle games work, for example. So long as the "solution" - which is nothing other than awareness of the "how the trick works", remains obscure to you, you’ll buy into and be trapped by the illusion. As soon as you "see" the answer, suddenly you are no longer deceived. You have stepped outside the illusion and what you thought was true is no longer true. You can no longer "buy the lie", and thus the illusion *disappears*. It’s like the punchline of a joke you already heard - not so funny anymore.
5. Suffering only persists while illusions of suffering are maintained. They can’t be maintained when there is truth and sight. As soon as they are seen for what they are, they have no power to hide the truth, and the truth dispels the MYTH. No myth, no illusion. Nothing but a lie to recognize as such. No-one will keep a lie when it is recognized as one.
6. Illusions of sickness and death similarly must disappear when recognized. If we are deceived by them, we are not seeing fully. If they seem real, we are not seeing fully. If they seem to hold any power at all, or have any truth in them, we are still unconcious. As soon as we are aware of what these things are - illusions of things that are not happening in reality - we can wipe them away like a puff of smoke. They are recognized as NOTHING. "The last illusion to be overcome is death."
7. A mind that is in truth, is aware, and cannot buy into or be deceived by illusions. Such a mind DISPELS illusions. Light shines away darkness. Such a mind MUST disappear sickness and death. Sickness and death cannot REMAIN when they are recognized as illusions, because "illusions recognized MUST disappear." Therefore you cannot keep sickness or death when the mind is sane. "The mind, being sane, heals the body.
"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and must join the Great Crusade to correct it. The slogan for this Crusade is "Listen, Learn, and Do."
This means Listen to My Voice, Learn to undo the error, and do something to correct it.
The first two are not enough. The real members of my party are active workers. (Urtext version of T-1.III.1:5-6)"
Are you willing to be an active worker in Jesus's plan of atonement, working miracles for others and lifting your brother into awakening? Or are you only interested in undoing the error for yourself?
This is perhaps a major distinction in the course community. Those who listen to the Voice for God and undo error, versus those who did this but also then 'take it to the people' with expressions of love and miracles. Jesus says he wants us to be miracle workers for others and not just for ourselves.
"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and MUST JOIN THE GREAT CRUSADE TO CORRECT IT."
Does this not mean, that you must now actively help others to awaken? That you would naturally want to do this because you love your brother so much? That you would ACT upon this love and express and extend it to others, even intervening for them with miracles (miracles intervene for their holiness). If you truly are in a place of love, then you will become part of the atoning principle, the atoning 'plan' for salvation, of which Jesus is in charge, and then you will be a part of helping to awaken your brother. It's not a crusade like a conquest or war to 'attack' the ego, but rather to heal and help others to be restored to their natural condition (divine health, perfect mind) and to demonstrate and be an example of the truth, sharing it with everyone. It is a calling, to be a representative of God here, while the illusion persists.
To accept the Atonement is to accept that God's truth is the truth. It also means accepting that nothing else is true.
Jesus demonstrates this when He speaks of His own state of Atonement:
"There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The difference between us now is that I have nothing else. This leaves me in a state which is only potential in you."
We would be perfectly willing to accept God's truth, IF we did not believe that something else is true. We have been listening to another "voice", the voice of the ego (untruth) rather than the Voice of God (truth).
If we believe the ego has some truth to it, it means we agree with it. We will defend it, protect it, want to keep it, and will shield it from God. We'll use it as justification for "why" we believe we cannot accept God's truth as true. This literally makes us perceive that God's truth is NOT true.
This is the meaning of "He who would not forgive MUST judge to justify his failure to forgive." We are busy justifying WHY we cannot accept atonement/forgiveness, in order to keep and protect the ego that we believe is sacred and true and worthy of us.
No-one in their right mind would want to accept something they believe is not the truth. No-one would want anything to do with something they regard as "false". The ego attributes all qualities of falseness to God, including perceiving Him as evil, as a threat, as an attacker, and as willing that we be dead. That's quite a lot of false belief to "reverse" - thought reversal - if we are to become genuinely WILLING to want to be with God.
An unwillingness to accept God's truth comes solely from a willingness to accept the ego's truth. Another way the Course puts this is in terms of faith. We have "faith" in the ego, we have come to TRUST it, we think it is helping us, protecting us, defending us, acting in our best interests, and is "working" for us. We think we WANT what it is offering. This is because we do not RECOGNIZE the ways that the ego is deceptive, a lie, a form of attack, self defeating, suicidal and fixated on death.
When we believe the ego is the truth, we literally become "blind" to the truth, and incapable of discerning that God's truth is true. We see falseness IN it, because there is falseness in our perception. We see reflected in God our own "evil" content, thinking it is his.
For example, whenever we misperceive the truth through the ego, we see it as attacking us, we put up a defense, which implements blocks to life, which produces sickness and death. This production of sickness is an attempt to "save our life" by protecting us from life. This is obviously insane. The ego's efforts to "help" us is actually an attempt to deceive us, to trick us into hurting ourselves "in the name of" helping ourselves. In other words, the ego's advice produces the opposite result from what it promises.
While we believe the ego has truth to it, we will not be WILLING to accept the atonement. In fact we'll not be able. We can't ACCEPT it, to really deeply abide in it and feel it and welcome it and want it and admit its truth and ALLOW IT to love us. That's because we have allegiance to the ego and "want" what it is offering instead. AND YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH! You have to choose. This valuing of the ego's offering produces DOUBT. Being in two minds, or even entirely in ego, will make us very uncertain about whether the truth even IS true, and whether we even DO want it.
Failure to discern what IS true, and what IS false, forms the basis of this confusion, which makes us unwilling and unable to accept it. No-one wants to accept what they think will destroy them. It's just that, believing the ego we will believe GOD is the one who is going to destroy us, and the ego is our savior. It simply "makes sense" to us not to accept God's version of events, because His truth does not "make sense" when the ego perceives it.
If we believe there is really death, really punishment, really fear, really victimhood, really guilt, really sin, really separation, really sickness, really suffering, we will not be WILLING to accept the atonement. The atonement says the exact opposite is true. This means we WILL have to become willing to RECOGNIZE all of these illusions for what they ARE, how we are using them to support the ego, and how they are not TRUE or real.
So we are going to have to systematically let go of all belief that there is such a thing as real sickness, real death, real sin, real guilt, real fear, real suffering, real victims, etc. To do this, we will have to be a LITTLE WILLING to believe that the ego beliefs do NOT contain truth, they in fact are FALSE, and something else is MORE TRUE. If any of this ego stuff - illusions appearing to be real - is within our perception, i.e. within our attitude or beliefs about ourselves, it has to GO, BEFORE we will genuinely, deeply, feel WILLING and READY to accept the truth of God.
Each time that we are attempting to perform a "forgiveness", i.e. we're upset and suffering in some way and we want to get back to the truth, to apply the Course principles and heal ourselves, it's going to have to entail the UNDOING OF FALSE BELIEFS. i.e. the undoing of listening to the ego's interpretation, stopping listening to its voice, stopping believing its bullshit is true, discerning HOW and WHY it is not true, and RECOGNIZING the illusions - i.e. the lies - that you are perpetuating. This can take tremendous radical HONESTY. Honesty admits the truth - allows the truth to enter.
Applying forgiveness SHOULD also therefore mean, that you start with wherever you're at, with whatever you are experiencing now, and you need to transition from there ALL THE WAY TO THE ATONEMENT. If you do not go all the way, if you stop short and keep some beliefs, you will not "complete" the forgiveness because you're not getting to the point where you FULLY ACCEPT the truth and FULLY LET GO of the ego.
While over time you generally will move gradually towards truth, on the whole, you actually can take yourself ALL the way to the atonement at any time, on a SPECIFIC topic. For example if you have issues with a parent or a coworker or something, some belief that is getting triggered... to FULLY forgive that issue, or at least a big chunk of it, you need to look at the beliefs involved and undo them, ALL the way until you get to "sin did not happen in reality, there is no sin at all, therefore I'm still innocent".
Taking back a projection, for example, is only a FIRST STEP in forgiving. It only means then that you recognize some measure of responsibility, that it's actually "about you" and not "about" another person. That's a vital step, and taking of responsibility is essential to any application of forgiveness. But that's not the end of the story.
The problem is, even if you can recognize it's not about other people, you may still believe you are afraid, you are guilty, and you are sinful. These beliefs have to be uncovered as well. Part of the problem is, there are various stages of separation: sin > guilt > fear > punishment > death and each stage entails a shitload of DENIAL. That denial makes content in your mind UNCONSCIOUS. That means you don't even REALIZE that you have this stuff in your mind somewhere, buried, behind a wall of illusions.
So if all you do is take back a projection and then sit with it and don't really realize how you have unconscious guilt lurking in your mind, which your state of victimhood was made to cover up and distract away from, you may not even get to the stage of becoming AWARE of that guilt, to undo it. And even if you get to where you are undoing the guilt, you may not even be aware - there is such a things as UNCONSCIOUS SIN. That has to be undone as well. Only when all of these layers of DENIAL in the mind are undone, ONLY then will you find yourself actually WILLING and able and ready to wholeheartedly ACCEPT that the Atonement is true. That is the point where forgiveness is COMPLETE.
You can do this on any given topic. It doesn't have to just be the overall whole issue of separation. Every time you forgive all the way to the atonement you receive a miracle, and then can offer it. Every time you make a genuine effort to becoming WILLING to accept the truth - your innocence, that literally nothing happened in reality - your mind gets healed one more giant leap towards God. As much as you can accept at the time. This will have PROFOUND healing effects on your perception.
There was a woman that I couldn't stand, a social worker, who had poor sense of boundaries and was always overstepping her role. I had fear about seeing her, anger about her behavior and various other upsets. I thought she was the problem. Later I became willing to see how I was actually seeing some unhealed stuff about ANOTHER person, in this person. I applied forgiveness through various steps and went all the way to atonement on this issue about that person. This was a strong healing.
Later, when I saw this woman again, my entire perception of her was so different. She seemed like a completely different person, as though I'd never seen her before. I had no reaction to her and saw no "sin" in her. She didn't seem to bother me and I knew that I'd been accusing her of something that I thought someone else was guilty of, but which *I* was guilty of. The interesting thing is, when you lift off of other people your own sin, it doesn't necessarily make that person disappear. Instead, you see them more clearly for what is there, and what is theirs. It's interesting then how their OWN call for love suddenly becomes obvious, distinct from anything going on in yourself.
Anyway. I have many other examples where when I've gone all the way to really thoroughly undoing false beliefs and accepting God's truth, it's healed my mind in a major way and really cleared up my perception. It has allowed me to see "truth" where once I saw a distortion. Or rather, to see correctly and accurately where I once only saw what I wanted to see.
If you have been forgiving in some way but not going ALL the way to atonement, I recommend giving it a try. Even if it's on just one small topic. Forgiveness is only complete when you recognize there literally has not been a "real sin" in reality, that whatever it was only took place in a dream, and therefore has had no real effects.
Atonement DOES cure everything. There was an accident that happened years ago where I hurt someone. It produced tremendous guilt. A lot of things happened because of it including a major depression, ostracision from society and various other nightmares. I healed a lot of it over the years and rationalized in various ways why it was ok or not ok or whatever. But I could never QUITE really let go of it. That is, until I went to the atonement with it.
Going to the atonement on this, I FINALLY got to the point of realizing that what I thought happened DID NOT HAPPEN in reality. It only happened as part of a dream. All of my other healing efforts had been to somehow justify "what happened" or to explain "why" it was ok. That never healed me fully. I had to undo the belief it happened AT ALL. When I finally could accept and SEE and RECOGNIZE that it is TRUE, and makes sense, that I REALLY DID NOT DO ANYTHING, and nothing real can be threatened, I could actually willingly ACCEPT that God's truth is true. I could ACCEPT how God sees me. I could ACCEPT that I must still be innocent. And then there were tears of joy at FINALLY being able to LET GO of this "sin" and RECEIVE GOD's LOVE!
Only atonement can be said to cure. Miracles express from the atonement.
A Course in miracles does not mention the phrase "unconscious guilt". However, Jesus does teach about it. In fact, the whole course is about removing the BLOCKS TO AWARENESS. A blocked awareness is indicative of UNCONSCIOUSNESS - not being consciously aware of love.
Here for example he refers to "veiling in shadows", things which must be "raised to understanding" (brought back into conscious awareness), in order to make the choice for heaven consciously:
"Heaven is chosen consciously. The choice cannot be made until alternatives are accurately seen and understood. All that is veiled in shadows must be raised to understanding to be judged again, this time with Heaven’s help, and all mistakes in judgement which the mind had made before are open to correction as the truth dismisses them as causeless. Now are they without effects. They cannot be concealed because their nothingness is recognized."
Anything which is a hidden hate, a secret sin, something concealed, any form of denial, all illusions, all forms of sin guilt fear sickness and death, are forms of unconsciousness.
The entire idea of "awakening" is of returning to full conscious awareness, out of a state of semi-consciousness or, in the case of death, unconsciousness. It is also the same thing as the idea of "forgetting".
Here are for example paragraphs from 5 separate chapters talking about unconsciousness...
"These mad beliefs can gain UNCONSCIOUS hold of great intensity, and grip the mind with terror and anxiety so strong that it will not relinquish its ideas about its own protection."
"Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be UNCONSCIOUS but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them."
"Like to a dream of punishment, in which the dreamer is UNCONSCIOUS of what brought on the attack against himself, he sees himself attacked unjustly, and by something NOT himself."
"He is merely making every possible effort, within the limits you impose upon Him, to re-establish your own will in your consciousness. You have imprisoned it in your UNCONSCIOUS, where it remains available, but cannot help you."
"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the fear of awakening. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of consciousness. This is a pathetic way of trying not to know by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
So you can see our unconscious states are quite well discussed in the course and this is only the tip of the iceberg.
There is one test by which you can find out if you have "unconscious stuff". First of all, realize that even if you have some amount of conscious awareness, it does not mean that you do not have an unconscious. When something is unconscious, you LITERALLY are NOT AWARE of it. There can be huge sections of your mind which have been walled off and kept hidden in the dark, which you do not even know are there.
It is the assumption of just about everyone that because you have conscious awareness, you are aware of EVERY part of your mind. This is usually far from the case. The test to determine whether you have an unconscious mind is simple:
If you perceive there is a cause affecting you which has not come from yourself, you have an unconscious mind.
This must be true because the only way you could perceive that something is happening against your will, is by being unaware of the way that you do everything to yourself. The secret to salvation is realizing you do everything to yourself. Therefore, if you are not directly confronted with AWARENESS of the way in which you are CAUSING everything you are experiencing, no matter what form it takes or how it is projected, YOU DO have a part of your mind which is unconscious. And yes, that means pretty much most of us.
It is valuable to realize you have unconsciousness, because you DO need to bring those parts of your mind back into conscious awareness in order for your mind to be FULLY AWARE OF LOVE’S PRESENCE, and to be able to consciously choose heaven. You cannot enter heaven while part of your mind is unconscious.
Typically, most people walking around this planet, believe that they are FULLY aware. When they wake up in the morning, they believe they have woken up fully. They believe that everything they are aware of comprises the sum total of all things that exist. And therefore, whenever they are trying to make sense out of what caused something to happen, they will reference everything they are aware of, trying to make sense out of how this could happen. And since they believe they are fully aware (but are not), they HAVE to find an explanation for what causes thing, usually by blaming it on someone else.
If you are blaming others or the world for causing ANYTHING, it is proof that you do not recognize that YOU are the cause, you did not SEE yourself cause it, and you seem to have asked for something without realizing it. So recognize this, if you are a victim in any way, you are unconscious.
That means there is a whole bunch of information, facts, truth, and content, which has been BLOCKED from your conscious awareness. These are nothing less than blocks to the awareness of love’s presence. These blocks, these barriers of denial which make the mind unconscious, is precicely what we are REQUIRED to UNDO, in order to restore our awareness of God.
But if you are walking the world thinking, you know everything there is to know, and are aware of everything there is to be aware of, and yet stuff is happening to you seemingly against your will, in any way, then YOU ARE IN DENIAL. And that means, you have a portion of mind which is currently NOT CONSCIOUS, which you are not aware you even have. It is tucked away, out of sight, and you don’t even SUSPECT that you have it.
It is vital to uncover these portions of mind and to heal their content. Too many people think that "forgiving" only means taking back projections. This is beause they have no idea that they have unconscious stuff in their mind. They think that they only need to deal with what they are consciously aware of, ie what someone seems to be doing, and to take back that projection.
That’s a fine stepping stone, but if it does not lead to a) removing the denial that made guilt go unconscious (fear), b) removing the denial which made sin go unconscious (guilt), c) removing the denial that made God go unconscious (sin), by bringing all of those into conscious awareness and undoing them, and accepting Atonement, then this is NOT complete forgiveness. It’s scratching the surface, and many people are NOT forgiving fully.
These hidden dark secrets are hidden behind shadows and illusions and layers of denial. Fear for example is made entirely to make guilt unconscious. Fear defends against guilt and protects the guilt. It causes you to fixate on what the fear is being caused by, anywhere other than within, so that you will not look within to see where the fear is really coming from.
All fear has its source in your unconscious belief that you are GUILTY. It has absolutely no other cause. But while you remain unconscious/unaware of that guilt, you will keep trying to make sense of why you are afraid by blaming the cause on something outside of you. And since that is never the cause, it will not provide you with a solution.
Fear has to be recognized as a decoy, an illusion that is nothing more than an effect, not a cause. It is the effect of guilt. Fear is not causing anything because it is only guilt that can cause it. When you can recognize fear as an effect of guilt, the implication as to what caused it automatically will start to give you some breadcrumbs which will bring that guilt back into conscious awareness. Then you can work on undoing the guilt.
Guilt also is a problem because, guilt is not the problem. Guilt actually is another decoy like fear, designed to block and keep sin unconscious. It’s sole purpose is to pretend you did not sin and did not want to sin. It disowns the sin and disassociates from it, projecting blame for it on something or something outside of you. So long as you are feeling sorrowful and guilty and allegedly unworthy of forgiveness, this will block the dishonest fact that YOU DID WANT TO SIN, and that you yourself believe in it. Guilt keeps sin real and prevents you from looking at it. It keeps it out of conscious awareness.
Guilt has to be then recognized as just an effect of sin, and not a cause of anything. It’s bullshit lies of "didn’t mean to do it" has to be seen through. Guilt is fake. It is there solely to stop you from bringing your unconscious belief in sin into awareness. When you can see that guilt is just an effect, and all guilt is caused by a belief in sin, that will help you to bring the sin into conscious awareness. It will resurface as soon as you make the connection of causality that sin caused guilt, therefore behind guilt there is sin lurking there.
Once the belief is sin is in your awareness, it is not going to be pretty. Always look at this stuff with Holy Spirit, because there is some really dark murderous death-wish kind of beliefs tucked way in the unconscious mind. But these beliefs like all the rest are fake. You have to realize then that sin actually is yet another block to awareness. It keeps something out of conscious awareness. Can you guess what it is?
God.
The belief in sin makes God unconscious. Not only is it a belief that God is dead and IS unconscious hisemself, it also shuts awareness of God out of the mind. It can only do this through denial and unwillingness to accept the truth. It is just another block to let go. You must recognize sin is not a cause of anything. Sin is just an effect of a mistaken idea of separation. It has not caused anything, and therefore has not happened. Undoing this will REVEAL GOD to you, consciously.
So you see, we have a LOT of shit that’s just sitting there in the unconscious areas of mind, and yet not exactly inert or inactive. Unconscious self-hate will project outwards and cause all manner of SHIT stuff to "happen to you", and it will seem to come out of nowhere, because you will not see that you asked for it. And so you will think you are just an innocent victim.
This is the big problem. Believing you are "innocent" just because you are not AWARE of the fact that you attacked yourself, is the entire foundation for projecting blame outside of yourself for everything you experience. You won’t be able to ACCEPT that you have done this to yourself, until you can consciously own up to it and actually SEE that you have in fact been the one who did it. To recognize that YOU PUT THERE all of the suffering you are experiencing, including all of your sickness. Until you can own it, you cannot let it go.
Just because you THINK you are innocent right now, on the basis of not being fully aware of your whole mind, is FAKE INNOCENCE. And it is this fake innocence which leads many people to not even suspect that they have unconscious shit to undo. It also leads many to believe they DID NOT CAUSE the shit that happens, which actually is an act of profound irresponsibility. It is this irresponsibility, the disownership of self, that produces all suffering.
Remember that the secret to salvation is that you have done this ALL to yourself. This is a course in CAUSE, not effect. You are to learn you are the CAUSE of everything in the world, not the effect of it. And you can only do that by becoming AWARE consciously that you in fact DO cause things. That means removing the blocks to AWARENESS, which are simply forms of denial which have made you partly UNCONSCIOUS. And extreme denial produces all denial of life, which leads to sickness and death as total unconsciousness.
If you want life, you must become willing to bring this unconscious stuff back into awareness for healing and release. And that’s going to have to mean, taking full responsibility for everything you are experiencing. Otherwise, guaranteed, you will suffer at your own hand without even realizing it. No-one dies without their own consent!!!
"Maybe I am causing this" "I must be responsible for this" "I am doing this to myself" "I am the cause of this" "I must have some unconscious stuff to heal if I seem to be suffering against my will" "There must be something I am not aware of where I am attacking myself" "I need to undo my belief that I sinned by bringing it back into awareness and letting it go."
Remember, "heaven is a choice I must make" - a conscious choice. You cannot have stuff lurking in unconsciousness, otherwise you are in denial, and the beliefs you are denying will make you unwilling to accept the atonement. A healed mind is a wholly conscious mind.
I used to be of the mindset, like most humans, that certain physical things were bad things, and others were good. I would use whatever form the thing took, to tell me what it meant.
Someone falling over and breaking a leg might be considered a bad thing, and someone laughing perhaps a good thing. Tigers are dangerous, butterflies are harmless. You can eat the good bread but don't eat the mouldy bread.
The sense of whether it's right or wrong was always based on what did the thing look like physically, what shape, what color, what behaviours, what forms. As though some physical things are evil, and other physical things are good.
And of course this elevated some physical things to being somehow more spiritual, acceptable, less guilt-laden than others. And other things to being more evil and bad, forms of sin and deserving of guilt. Crimes versus blessings.
But the truth is that looking at and dividing up the world this way, is based on an egoic false perception. The world is in fact not comprised of positives and negatives. It's a neutral world. It's chaotic yes, sometimes cruel, sometimes merciless, sometimes seems to take on an appearance of loveliness etc. But overall it's basically all the same.
Internally, in our minds, our degree of ego - mental illness - determines what we make of the world. Whether we judge some things are hellish, or some things as heavenly. Whether we think that certain acts are crimes while others are not. How much guilt we think something deserves versus how much special attention.
There is a whole internal landscape of meanings and interpretations, judgements and labels, categorisations and evaluations, which become projected onto the world. But they really have nothing to do with the world.
For example we could say that when bodies seem to die, that's very bad, especially if we are projecting the belief that people are entirely physical bodies. The bodies go and then there is loss and horror and crying and misery. But this is because the ego mind is deciding that such events mean this, based on the form that it takes. As though physical deaths are worse than mild headaches or a slight tiredness.
We're got all this meaning that we've put onto everything, binding it to it, and then believing that it is part of it. But the world doesn't inherently have any of this meaning. Physical deaths are not really that important, or any more significant, than someone going to the toilet or eating some cake. It's just another form of the same illusion.
Eventually we end up with an entire hierarchy of illusions in our minds, with things ranked and evaluated as being better and worse in varying degrees, more or less serious, more or less important, more or less harmful, more or less evil etc. But this is entirely all made up.
For sure, our internal egoic experience of the world is an entire layer of suffering induced by ourselves, which really has no actual connection to what goes on physically. We could be watching the very same scene, and either practically kill ourselves over the seeming horror of the form it takes, or laugh at it as another example of nothingness.
It's in this way that the course says "Earth can reflect heaven or hell." Earth itself is neutral, meaningless, and nothing. Just a dream of a world, a pretend world, a world of forms and changes. It has what seem to be some changes we might classify as positive in some way, and others that are not so great. And overall it's a pretty harsh and occasionally pleasant-seeming place.
But whether or not we choose to experience it in a hell-like manner, or a heaven-like manner, is entirely an internal thing. Whether we are coming from ego and mental illness, or coming from Holy Spirit and sanity, makes the entire contribution to whether or not we "read into" the world meaning one thing or another.
All physical forms are illusions, and the differences they take on is itself the illusion that ... being different makes something inherently not the same as something else. A different shape, color, size, style, movement, whatever, all seeming to suggest this is not part of that, there is a separation. Dogs are not cats and houses are not cars and boats are not airplanes and birds are not fish. That's the illusion, that there are many separate things, when in truth it's all one illusion morphing and changing in irrelevant ways.
A dead body, a living body, a broken body, a sick body, a healthy body, it's all still the same illusion. None of those states are better or worse than the others. Symbolically maybe, we'd prefer to see symbols of life and heath and harmlessness. And we'd prefer to not see symbols of death and destruction and murder. But ultimately it's all just spacetime dream-stuff moulded into different shapes.
So really there's no sort of inherent physical sin, or physical evil, or physical good. It's neutral and meaningless in and of itself. It's just stuff. Stuff designed to obscure the wholeness and shared nature of God, to make it seem like God is not fully anywhere and doesn't exist. What you make to it, use it for, see in it, or project onto it, is an entirely mental exercise.
Use it for ego and the ego will happily tell you you're suffering in hell and life is shit and everyone hates you and you might as well be dead. Use it for Holy Spirit and he'll happily tell you you're not of this world, you're safe in God, nothing in the world can affect you, and none of it really matters.
So is a dead body worse than a living one? Does it actually matter is there are crimes or well behaved individuals? Is it worse to murder than to support? Technically no. That doesn't mean it's justified or the kind of behaviour that would emerge from a loving mind. But in the grand scheme of things, life and death, seeming positives and negatives, truths and untruths, it's all the same stuff just in a different shape. And none of it is real.
"The body's eyes will continue to see differences, but the mind which has let itself be healed will no longer acknowledge them. There will be those who seem to be "sicker" than others, and the body's eyes will report their changed appearances as before. But the mind will put them all in one category - they are unreal. This is the gift of its Teacher; the understanding that only two categories are meaningful in sorting out the messages the mind receives from what appears to be the outside world. And of these two but one is real. Just as reality is wholly real, apart from size and shape and time and place, for differences cannot exist within it, so too are illusions without distinctions. The one answer to sickness of any kind is healing. The one answer to all illusions is truth." UrM9A6
"The dream says otherwise, but who would put his faith in dreams, once they are recognized for what they are? Awareness of dreaming is the real function of God's teachers. They watch the dream figures come and go, shift and change, suffer and die. Yet they are not deceived by what they see. They recognize that to behold a dream figure as sick and separate is no more real than to regard it as healthy and beautiful. Unity alone is not a thing of dreams. And it is this God's teachers acknowledge as behind the dream, beyond all seeing and yet surely theirs." UrM13A6
We each, as spirit, are capable of manifesting any form that we like, and of showing up or appearing to take form in any particular form imaginable. We are not really confined to any one form and can change them at will.
When we decide to incarnate 'as' a body, we seem to take on a particular form, which btw is constantly changing, and gradually steer the manifestation of that body in various directions of growth and change. This is all done in the mind.
It is possible for some individuals with greater awareness to shift the form of the body from one state to another more readily utilizing mind power and miracles, for example. Health can turn into sickness, and sickness into health. These are shifts in physicality which you would think are not really shifts of a singular globular 'blob' of matter, but it really is.
Similarly, all shapeshifter are capable of morphing into any number of forms, even beyond the human form.
Now, the interesting thing also with shapeshifter is that there is a 'pool' or 'ocean' of unifies, blended-together shape shifters who are in what you could call a non-manifest or non-specific form. This is very nicely illustrated in the Star Trek Deep Space Nine series btw where Odo, a significant character, is a shapeshifter who can become any form and can return to a lake filled with other shape shifters who are all blended together. On a physical level this is representative, symbolically, of what we are capable of, and in fact we are also capable of these physical shifts.
The point to be made here, is that it is natural and normal for us to co-exist in a unified pool of 'oneness' where we are not any specific form and where we are all the same, sharing everything with each other. This is our home. The Spirit of God.
So really we are not locked into forms, but we come to believe we are, and act like our body is rigid and changes slowly and is very hard to adjust at will. But we can. And this ability can strengthen as we transcend the body in its limiting awareness, and return to an awareness that we are spiritual shape-shifters, or rather, shape-transcendent. Form is not who we are and it is not our true identity, or our natural home. It is just something we become imprisoned in for a while.
On the level of the physical world, all objects and forms can never be perfect. This is sobering to recognize. It's actually because of the nature of spacetime.
In order to have space, or locations, it's necessary that something is in one location and NOT another. It's also therefore necessary that any given object LACKS what any other given object has. There is no real sharing, whereby two objects are literally one object. Everything is separated out, exclusive, unique, different and unequal.
This applies throughout this universe. It sets up a scenario where, in terms of a physical object, which includes planets and human bodies and toys and cars and houses and food, it is literally impossible to find perfection.
"It is the world you see that is impossible."
"The world was made that problems could not be solved."
"All its roads lead to death"
So now, as we enter this physical world, seen through false perception of the body's eyes, blinded by sight of form, we now seek to try to find "the perfect thing".
The ego presents objects as options, choices, and then asks you to choose between them. It does not ask whether you believe in the objects existing at all, it simply assumes they do exist and leaves you with the only remaining "choice" of choosing A OR B. This "either or" scenario is built into the whole ego thought system of spacetime. "Do you want to die this way, or that way?"
But the problem is, you are now left with two inferior, partial, temporary, incomplete, unwhole options. Neither of them ca be perfect because they both are lacking something. They both entail compromise. None of them truly mirror any kind of divine nature. They are all flawed.
So now the best you can do is choose between two flawed possibilities, where you know that to choose one you will lack the other. And committing to any of them is not fully possible with full satisfaction or certainty because to choose one is to reject something else, leaving you empty handed.
If you choose object A, you lack what object B has to offer. It drives you nuts trying to settle on what you want. You try to look more closely for signs that one thing is "better" than the other, to judge and evaluate its worth or value, as if its even possible for one of them to BE perfect.
Then after a lot of frustration and fear and uncertainty and lack of commitment and inability to trust, you "settle" for what you think is the lesser of two evils. It seems to be the best choice only because you're willing to accept its limitations and what it cannot offer you, which seems less of a sacrifice than the other choice. And so you "commit", reluctantly and in fear, crossing your fingers that it will be the right one.
The ego is playing this game all the time. It is literally impossible to be 100% satisfied with ANY choice the ego offers, because they are limited and lacking. And it would simply have you choose between two forms of death. And you think that by choosing the better of the two, you will defer death a little longer.
As you look at this, you'll find yourself trying to seek for this "perfection in the world". The perfect choice. The perfect option. The perfect car, perfect house, perfect body, perfect diet, perfect tv show, perfect city, perfect president, perfect whatever. Trying to find that one something that is completely whole and lacking nothing and utterly fulfilling and flawless. And there is NO SUCH THING in this world.
Anywhere.
I stumbled on this many times, particularly in terms of artistic projects and trying to come up with something that was perfect. My mistake was not recognizing the ways in which limitation are inherent to this world. I thought in terms of ideas, that some kind of perfection was POSSIBLE among the physical objects or physical choices or things I could create physically.
This would lead to tremendous frustration and blown-out expectations and procrastination and low self worth and being afraid of the judgement of others when they would find out how flawed and imperfect my creations were, implying my own imperfection. And this would just snowball into a huge amount of avoidance and shame and dysfunction trying to deal with this whole mess of "how will I achieve perfection". And this search for physicalized perfection is the spiritual ego, with its mantra, "seek and do not find."
It is much better to recognize when I am seeming to seek perfection at a FORM level, and to recognize the truth that ALL form is INCAPABLE of perfection. So for example if I am trying to create a piece of art, or some project, I have to realize there are built in limits as to what is possible. It cannot BE perfect, ever.
Limits have to be realistically set, there is only so much time and energy, there are only so many features, there are only so many design decisions, the object cannot ever be some kind of "miracle" that pleases everyone infinitely.
For example maybe I'm writing a book and getting hung up on how this book will "cover everything", how it will "talk to everyone", how it will be everything to all people. And then this becomes paralyzing, because as soon as you try to appease the myriad "forms" the ego presents, such as billions of disagreeing egos, it is now literally impossible to please them.
In any creative endeavor, any form of shopping, any kind of selection process, any decision making about your life or your time or where you will go or what you will do, if it entails the physical level at all it is far more productive and sane to "accept" that there are these limitations on this level. And to then simply work within those limitations, removing the sense of expectation or "wishful thinking" that form CAN BE anything other than it can be.
This means accepting that the world of limits IS fundamentally limited and limiting. And by that I don't mean to just settle for imprisonment, because of course we are meant to rise above these limits, break all the laws of physics, go beyond all boundaries and demonstrate "the impossible is possible." But in terms of the form level, it JUST IS a world of limitation and pretending it isn't really gets us in trouble.
There is one passage in ACIM where it touches on this with regards to why Jesus was not able to "perfectly" save or teach the whole world during his lifetime. The nature of the beast is simply that operating IN TIME AND SPACE, there were limits, and he had to be selective, and there was a plan and a goal and various things to be done and not others.
A physical life cannot truly embody unlimited infinity, nor can divinity be fully expressed at the level of the world. This is a world of partiality and lack and temporary differences, inequalities and flaws. It can never be immortal or perfect or holy or innocent or have eternal life or be whole. It lacks, because it is a picture of lack. We can work with it, or we can break its rules with miracles. But even miracles can't keep death while expressing life.
The world can only do what it can do. It's in its nature. It's a world of limits. It won't ever give you heaven or salvation or the attributes of God's perfection. Through true perception it can be seen as a reflection of God's perfection, but it cannot be it.
"Is he the Christ? O yes, along with you. His little life on earth was not enough to teach the mighty lesson that he learned for all of you. He will remain with you to lead you from the hell you made to God. And when you join your will with his, your sight will be his vision, for the eyes of Christ are shared. Walking with him is just as natural as walking with a brother whom you knew since you were born, for such indeed he is. Some bitter idols have been made of him who would be only brother to the world. Forgive him your illusions, and behold how dear a brother he would be to you. For he will set your mind at rest at last and carry it with you unto your God."