"Nothing so blinding as sight of form" - ACIM

Forms, forms, forms, forms. Objects, stuff. Choices, options. Things.

It's incredible how it is possible for a slight change in the form of something seems to give us enough reason to believe that it is 'different' and 'unique', that we accept it as though it is completely new.

The ego world has a huge wealth of scope for including countless variations of forms. All of these forms present the same ILLUSION, that the 'form' something takes determines what it IS.

The truth is, that a different form is actually an illusion designed to make you believe that there are a) many problems, b) a great amount of isolation, c) things which don't apply to other things, d) value in different forms, and many other side effects, all of which support and sustain the ego thought system.

The deception that different forms really ARE different, is the ego's main play in this world. There really is no difference between, e.g. a chair with a curved back and shiny chrome legs and a certain shape of seat, versus almost the exact same chair in a slightly different color with a slightly less rounded seat. I mean... its enough for us gullible fools to believe, oh yes, look, there are DIFFERENT ONES.

And then you go about choosing between these subtle differences as though they are really, really important. I will choose the red one with the slopey back, instead of the orange one with the slightly more squared-off seat. Success!

We have a gross paralysis in life because of this. There are thousands of tv channels with nothing to watch. There are millions of products to buy and none of them are fulfilling.

After a while of seeing this, of seeing THROUGH this illusion, life starts to look a lot less deceiving, and at the time, you could say somewhat more boring. You start to realize what the Course says, "this world holds nothing that I want".

It's really all to do with searching outside of ourselves, to replace the emptiness that we have inside, due to unawareness of God/Self.

When we want God, we want God more than we want the world. And then we can recognize that all 'forms' (which the Course refers to btw as FORMS OF ERROR because all form comes from separation), are really the SAME ILLUSION, presented in a different variation. It's like, learning that all objects with 4 wheels are 'cars', and no longer believing that there are many distinct separate objects in the parking lot. It's a matter of abstraction.

Jesus revealead to me last night a whole new perspective on the whole idea of sin/guilt/fear/death.

I was doing a forgiveness process and Jesus had revealed that I was afraid because I believed I'd sinned. But when I inquired, tentatively, what this sin was.... Jesus revealed the real truth:

"There is no sin". ("what if you looked within and saw there is no sin?")

I thought, what, how is this possible? I thought about how we hark on about 'the separation', and how we've sinned, and now we're guilty, and then we're afraid, and all this.... we've sort of bought into this. And what Jesus showed me is, all of that is just a STORY.

It is not true that there is actually a sin in us. It's not true that we're actually guilty. It's not true that we actually need to be afraid. And it's not true that there is real death. It's all just a story, spun by the ego. This is all the ego's myth about what's happened - what it imagined and wanted to believe.

We BELIEVE we've sinned and separated, but we haven't. We THINK we're terrible sinners, but there is NO REAL SIN in us at all.

I've held in my mind a long time this 'creation myth' of how we separated and sinned and gained this huge unconscious guilt and fear etc... sort of accepting that this is 'true', but it's really not.

The ego has spun this story that we are really sinful, but it's just a made-up story. There is no sin at all! And it's pun this story that we're really guilty. But we're not guilty in the slightest! And it's spun this story that we need to be afraid. But there is absolutely no grounds for fear. And it's spun this story that we should suffer and die. But there's absolutely no foundation for that being true whatsoever.

I could see somewhat past the 'intense dark horror' of this story, perhaps for the first time, and looked instead to how this all began. Am I really separate from God? Hmmmmm.... what if the separation was also just a story that we made up? (Holy Spirit says "true"). What if we're not really separate from God at all, we just think we are.

We're all still innocent :-) And lo and behold, that made me laugh with relief, that I am still with God and quite literally, none of this story has *actually happened* at all. There is no actual sin, guilt, fear, punishment or death. It's just a great big fairytale. Kinda funny really.

The type of victim you're familiar with is the negative victim. Something seems to happen to them that they do not want.

The positive victim is someone for whom stuff happens to them that they do want.

What's wrong with that?

Well, it means they are still dependent on getting what they want from someone outside of themselves, they want someone else to decide for them that they are lovable, and they want to be treated by others in a positive way.

They still completely depend on others to give them only what they want, and not what they don't want. If the other person gives them what they want, they think this is great and they soak it up. But if the other person stops giving them what they want or gives them something they don't want, suddenly the gloves are off and all hell breaks loose.

If the positive victim were really and truly aligned with truth and aware of love within them, they would not be dependent on someone else to do for them what they have already done for themselves.

The positive victim implements ego forgiveness, where they require other people to change "for the better" in order to give them an indirectly better experience. They wait for others to decide for them that they are lovable, acceptable, allowed or worthwhile. They wait for others to cause them to be happy, or an illusion of happiness.

There is essentially NO DIFFERENCE between the positive victim and the negative victim other than the emphasis of whether they want to be treated positively or negatively, and both polarities are equally the same illusion. Both of them depend on the external to the same degree and both of them are being irresponsible and dishonest.

You really do not want everyone to treat you in a certain way or to give you what you want or to love you or to only do good things to or for you. What you really want is to be "independent" of the external, to get your love from God, to have no needs and to be completely detached from anything this world does or offers.

This is why Jesus says that this world holds nothing that we want, that a Teacher of God will happily give up all of the world's pleasures, and that we are not a victim of the world we see. This victimization includes the dependence on and receipt of "positive stuff" just as much as negative. Both attitudes must be undone and seen for the dis-empowering illusions that they are.

The thing about the body is that it's a limitation. You as a spirit are unlimited, infinite, everywhere. You are omnipresent like God. To seemingly "enter" a body you have to massively confine yourself to one location, separated off from the rest. It's like having your hands tied. Huge amounts of awareness have to be shut out. Not to mention that your intimate expansive unified relationships with the entire Sonship are shut out.

You are squeezed into this tiny little space that you then seem to inhabit. The body forms this fence around a part of the mind and seems to keep it inside, protected and separate from the rest of the mind which is outside. Large distances are placed between bodies to ensure they are kept separate. This is all the ego's design for isolating and imprisoning God's children.

Then the ego goes one step further and says, ok, now that you are in this body, wouldn't it be great if you could connect with other people? How about we bring your body closer to other bodies? How about we have your bodies try to join with other bodies? Maybe you'll feel wonderful things as you merge and feel close to others. And the usual response to this temptation is that is sounds great, it seems like an improvement, we don't have to be so alone and isolated.

The problem here is that we're accepting a massive artificial limitation as though it can never be changed, we're deliberately confining ourselves to being trapped in a little body, acting from littleness. We're handicapping ourselves, and then pretending that to bring bodies together is going to somehow "undo" this. But so long as the handicapping nature of the body is maintained, so long as we are isolated in space and time, anything the ego offers as a special relationship is a ridiculous substitute for true joining.

Two spirits should share, join, merge, connect, be one, and access each other fully and completely and in a truly unlimited way. You are in your brother's minds. You share everything with them. To do that, you need to not be restricted and limited. Trying to first accept massive limitation and to then try to continue to join, is like two people with a ball and chain around their ankles, chained up to separate prison cells, trying to reach out to be closer to each other. They can't leave the prisons or get past the bars.

It's also a simple fact that nothing in spacetime can truly join. Quantum particles are designed to be separated off. If atoms were to truly occupy the same space they would annihilate each other in a nuclear explosion. Forces repel the particles and keep them separated. Even what seems to be a physical collision or sensation of touch is really what it feels like to bump up against these force fields. Atoms don't ever really touch each other at all. So right off the bat the ego has made this scenario where even if it looks as though you are as physically close to something as possible, you still aren't actually making real contact. All sensations of touch are sensations of two forcefields repelling each other.

To try to join with another spirit while having a body is next to impossible. Someone who knows they are spirit would also find it pointless and very limiting to try to make this connection via the body. Why, when you can experience direct mind-to-mind communication ("minds need not bodies to communicate"), would you first filter all communication through your body, then through another body, in attempting to share something? Why not just go mind-to-mind?

When two bodies attempt to join in sexual acts it also really is an attempt to identify with your own body, to identify the other person with their body, to bring the two bodies together in an attempt to believe that the two persons/spirits are actually joining. This is a body delusion. The physical bodies are all that are coming together, and even their sensations of contact are illusions. Forms, matter, energy, keep individuals separated off at all levels and at all times.

Trying to relate to another brother, a spirit, by trying to relate TO or WITH the body, is almost like you're having a relationship with someone's clothing. If you were to fall in love with someone's jacket and trousers and completely ignore the person wearing them, this would indeed be very strange and somewhat insane. But this is what we do when we relate to people as bodies, completely failing to overlook the illusion of the body, failing to see the real person beyond it.

The ego first established a state of massive lack and deprivation. Its isolating of us made us lonely and in need. It built compulsions to try to join physically, not in an effort to bring us closer together, but in an effort to reinforce and emphasize the reality of the body. Pleasure and pain accomplish the same goal of making the body and illusions of sensations the primary focus. "To sense is not to know", and by focusing on sensations we become blinded by perception of form.

In efforts to bring two bodies together in a special, body-worshipping relationship, we actually necessarily exclude vast quantities of individuals. More is left out than is taken in. Due to the separating and localizing nature of spacetime, bringing 2 bodies together must entail excluding billions. The attempt to make two bodies extra special, psychologically, requires the downplaying and attack upon other bodies. A special body cannot be elevated and idol worshipped without condemning all the rest.

"On this side of the bridge, you see the world of separate bodies, seeking to join each other in SEPARATE UNIONS, and to become one BY LOSING. When two INDIVIDUALS seek to become ONE, they are trying to DECREASE their magnitude. Each would DENY his power, for the SEPARATE union EXCLUDES THE UNIVERSE. Far more is LEFT OUTSIDE than would be taken in. For God is left WITHOUT, and NOTHING taken in."

What appears on the surface to be an attempt to join, is ACTUALLY an attempt to separate. And so the ego's promise of body union in fact leads to an increase in separation, unconsciousness, loss, lack, loneliness, isolation and imprisonment. The supposed freedom produced by sexual union actually produces an increased state of exclusion and illness. With the body as the main focus, the mind is shut out and true joining based in real love becomes impossible.

You could say, in fact, that the attempt of two bodies to come together to join to make a baby, is actual a death ritual. The bodies celebrate their triumph over all other bodies, they worship the idol of death, separation ensues and now there are three bodies. Illusions have given birth to illusions. And while this is much celebrated in the world, the ego does have these underpinnings in its mechanics of what is actually happening.

It's possible, for a time, to still use the body for a holier purpose. Love can be extended through it to others, it can be used to teach, to make the body less real, and to overlook form. To the Holy Spirit, the body actually is seen as having NO function.

"It is still true that the body has no function of itself."

"When it is used only as the Holy Spirit teaches, it has no function."

"It is the dream in which the body functions perfectly, having no function except communication. "

"Healing IS the Holy Spirit's form of communication, and the ONLY one He knows."

Trying to make bodies real, to use them as exclusion devices, emphasizing and believing in and falling into the temptation of the flesh, being deceived by physical sensations not recognized as illusions, believing your brother is a body, etc are all ways that the ego uses the body to keep you from what it promises will be the outcome. The ego guarantees separation, while the Holy Spirit guarantees union.

For a time we can use the body with the Holy Spirit, but not to emphasize bodies. Not to use it as a way to focus on the body or believe it can give us anything. Not to use it to get from others. And not to use it as a symbolic act of exclusion. We are to love everyone equally, and this is impossible at the physical level.

"You cannot enter into REAL relationship with any of God's Sons unless you are willing to love them all AND equally."

"Think not that we can relate in peace to God or our brothers with ANYTHING external."

The entire world of bodies has to be more or less "overlooked". "To forgive is to OVERLOOK." To overlook means to "bypass seeing", to see past and beyond. If we stop to dwell on the physical, our sight is blinded. If we stop to focus on the body, the mind stops extending past it. This produces various forms of illness. If we truly want to have a real relationship with anyone, it has to be a real relationship with everyone, at the level of unconditional love, through mind and spirit.

Your natural condition is that you are a powerful, loving, mind-causal, capable, miraculous being, who can do literally anything.

"There is nothing my holiness cannot do."

"There is no order of difficulty in miracles."

That "nothing" is utterly literal and all encompassing. Anything you can possibly imagine you can do, no matter how radical.

When there are blocks to awareness, these blocks are blocks to this natural ability. It is a block to love, a block to power, a block to will. A block to awareness is a form of denial, which is part of a split mind. And a split mind is willing against itself, which cancels out the power of the will because it's now a divided will, working against itself instead of being undivided and unopposed and powerfully causal.

There is a lot of emphasis in ACIM on removing these blocks. In fact, most of the course is aiming towards the removal of the blocks rather than the "teaching of the meaning of love" which it says is impossible. "Love goes out because of what it is, but you are needed that it can begin" speaks to how you need to give back your willingness to love so that you aren't blocking it, but the love and power in you naturally EXPRESSES when it is unblocked.

The thing is, a vast majority of course folk see this emphasis on block removal and think it is the entire course. To the point where they are constantly focusing on "shifting perception", undoing their false beliefs, stopping judgements, etc to try to heal their minds. Which is valid, and we are supposed to be doing that. But the emphasis on this process, which is "the work" that needs to be done one way or another using whatever process, the REASON for doing this work starts to become eclipsed and forgotten and denied.

What happens when the blocks are removed, is that the flood gates are opened and the power of God starts to stream out. The will becomes unopposed, whole and powerful. Thought begins to express causally with the power to make things happen. The blocks are literally like resistances to allowing the power to come out. They are a reluctance to EXPRESS love. When the blocks are removed you NATURALLY become more loving. The lovingness and power are already there underneath or behind the blocks. When the blocks go, the love expresses and you get back in touch with being miraculous, powerful and capable. Capable of moving mountains with your mind.

"Miracles are natural and should be happening all the time. When they don't, something has gone wrong" (awareness is blocked).

"Miracles are everyone's right but purification is necessary first" (block removal - purification - must be done first in order to REVEAL the miracle working power).

So there are really two parts to this. You first remove the blocks by doing "work" (purification)and THEN when the mind is free enough the light is free to shine. The Holy Spirit can extend through the body. Mind can extend to and join with other minds. Separation can be undone and erased. And it is this EXPRESSING (all expressions of love are miraculous) that a vast majority of ACIM students are missing, ignoring, hiding from, even not wanting.

It has resulted in a widespread belief that all you have to do is basically do this work, undo the blocks, and then sit on a cloud in a state of happiness and peace DOING NOTHING. NOT EXPRESSING. NOT BEING MIRACULOUS. It's a very "safe", self-help-ish way of going about it. People think you just need to get rid of these false beliefs and attain a STATE of mind in which you will dwell with no further need to do anything. This state of mind is "miracle mindedness". Right mindedness, true perception, atonement etc. And the course very much DOES focus on attaining that state. And you could say it's a state of acceptance.

But the part that a lot of people are missing, afraid of, avoiding, in denial of etc, is the EXPRESSING. The stuff that happens when the blocks are gone. The fact that you become part of the atonement plan and perform miracles all the time every day. The fact that you now regain the power of the mind and will OVER the body and the world. The fact that you can now move mountains, heal the sick and raise the dead. That you can DO ANYTHING. Even things which BREAK the laws of physics.

"Miracles break all the laws of this world." "What the holy spirit allows you to do is clearly not of this world." "You cannot see the Holy Spirit but you can see his manifestations." "Your mind has the power to make worlds."

This is the aspect which I find very commonly LACKING in a vast majority of teachings and interpretations, especially those that focus on "accepting the world" or "accepting what's happening".

The "going within" and "doing nothing" becomes a trap, which completely ignores the outward expression, miraculous power, ability to heal others, the performing of miracles etc. I just don't see enough people talking about this part of it. The whole REASON for doing "the work" AT ALL is to get the blocks out of the way so that you can perform miracles all over the place! It's not just about you and about your ego becoming peaceful.

It's almost as if people think they have this state of "peaceful non-activity" lurking buried underneath a stockpile of ego stuff, and all you need to do is uncover it and then settle into this peaceful, non-expressive state, where you dwell forever. This is a complete failure to recognize the real NATURE of that peaceful state, the fact that it entails the POWER OF GOD, the fact that it EXTENDS naturally, the fact that it goes out and expresses and HEALS, and the fact that you naturally WANT to share it with everyone and help them to experience this natural state as well. THAT is what the Great Crusade is about.

"The purpose of the Atonement is to restore everything TO you. (That is, to restore the awareness. Later clarification.) You had everything when you were created, just as everyone did." (your natural state isn't just peace and non-action, it's having everything and being able to do everything)

"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself." (you accept the atonement NOT to ignore everyone, but to become PART OF A LARGER PLAN TO HELP OTHER INDIVIDUALS).

"You now share MY inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself ***and in everyone else***, and MUST join the GREAT CRUSADE to correct it. The slogan for this Crusade is "Listen, Learn, and DO." (this is not voluntary, Jesus says you MUST help others)

"This means: Listen to MY Voice, Learn to undo the error, and DO something to correct it. The first two are not enough. The real members of MY party are ACTIVE workers." (It is not ENOUGH to not "do something"! You must ACT in the world).

I cannot comment on whether particular teachers are doing this or not. Maybe some teachers are in support of this also but often it sounds not to be the case. Many avoid the supernatural aspect of the course. There is a lot of fear surrounding the power of the mind.

"It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains. It appears at first glance that to believe such power about yourself is merely arrogant, but that is not the real reason why you don't believe it. People prefer to believe that their thoughts cannot exert real control because they are literally AFRAID of them. "

I just want to make sure we're not JUST focusing on purification/work, we're also clearly focused on what is NATURAL to us, the expression of the power of love and the willingness to help others. It's not just about attaining miracle mindedness, it's about MIRACLE WORKING. And you don't even BEGIN to perform miracles until AFTER a large amount of blocks to awareness have already been removed. Until love can express, you are not miraculous. But when the blocks are gone, you ARE miraculous. And now you can be OF SERVICE TO OTHERS.

We have allowed ourselves to LEARN what we think the truth is, based on how the physical world seems to function.

We think that there are causes out there which have effects on other things.

We think that the world is able to harm us, do things to us, and that events just happen to use against our will.

We've learned a great deal from the appearance of this world, and we think that this world is actually real and that, therefore, we need to learn the truth from it.

We have mis-learned. Our assumption that this world is reality has led us to take on board so many mistaken ideas, mistaken ways of functioning, mistaken ways of deciding how relationships should work, mistaken forms of idol worship and possession and loss and gain.

So many things we've taken away from our exposure to this world, thinking that it is showing us a world of truth. We think this world is actually objectively real and that how it appears is completely normal, natural, obvious and clear.

It is not.

This world is vast illusion. It is extremely deceptive. It is showing you something which is impossible. It is a depiction of an idea of being separate from God and what it would seem to be like if that were possible, even though it is not possible.

This world shows you people who are suffering, people who are sick, people who are affected, people who are victimized, and people who die. That isn't truth. There is no truth to learn from that, other than that it is not true.

So we've been hanging out in this place a lot and just taking for granted everything we see as though it is factual reality, that there is not any kind of illusion happening, that things are as they seem to be, and that we can take everything at face value.

Big mistake.

We need to therefore UNLEARN everything we have tough ourselves to be true based on what we've witnessed here, because it has been nothing but an exercise in opposition to truth.

There is a truth elsewhere, in God's reality, which is not of this world. It does not function as this world functions. The laws are not the same. The rules are different. There is no attack or sickness or victimhood or violence or death in God's world. Things are not born, only later to die. Things do not come and go. Stuff does not happen out of the blue. Events don't just happen to you. It's an entirely different 'world' from which to learn the nature of the truth.

So we have been taught extremely poorly in this world, made to believe that it contains all kinds of truth, made to digest vast volumes of information about how it "really works" and what it means and how it functions. Taught how to relate to it and what to see in it and how to use it. And yet, it is all an illusion. All of that education was a lie.

There is no world here. Hello!

With A Course in Miracles, for most of us the journey starts in darkness. The lessons are designed to gradually lift us up out of the darkness into the light. As we read the text and learn of its instructions, we gradually piece together a clearer picture of what is true and real. Our learning begins to generalize. Things which made no sense before become internally supported and consistent.

Over time you move from the state of an intense focus on the form of the words, the surface layer, to the much deeper messages. You start to see the correlations between passages spread across different chapters. Gradually you get in behind the words and the clear-cut metaphysical basis for the course's expression comes into focus.

At that point you'll start finding yourself becoming more of a authority and more able to base things you express on the truth. As your intimacy with the truth increases you begin to come from it, built upon it, and start to act from the top down. That means you're beginning to shine your light and remember who you are, expressing from the inner awareness of love and from the higher plane of sanity.

Particularly if you look into the metaphysics of God's Kingdom you'll find there not only clarification about the end goal, but also clarification about where it all started. And as you understand better the mechanics of heaven you can really start to grasp the underlying basis for the entire systems of thought - both that of God and that of the ego. Seeing where it all originated and how it progressed and how it is then reversed gives you great perspective.

You're then able to let go of the "bottom up" approach and begin to fulfill your function more from the top down, acting on a basis of guidance and trust, remaining in the light, holding true to what's real, overlooking the lower rungs of the ladder through forgiveness. The mind and perception are stabilized and the root of your being begins to reveal itself.

You can now utilize this intimate knowledge of the underlying immortal Kingdom as a foundation on which ti build. On which to extrapolate. On which to base your expressions. And then once it has all become so much simpler and refined you are able to express in countless ways and words all of this stuff that emanates out from a forgiven mind, from a state of simpler love and wholeness and clarity.

What that essentially means is you have become the truth, aligned yourself with it, are expressing from it. Both through a metaphysical logical basis and through the extension of love and miracles. A mind that has aligned itself with its Creator now possesses the power of authorship, and that means you now speak for God just as the Holy Spirit does. This is where you have become a teacher of God, able now to be a representative of His Word and the light of the world. Heaven's emissary. An ambassador for eternal life. A messenger of peace. And a holy influence.

"The ego, then, raised the first question that was ever asked, but it can never answer it. That question, which was "What are you?" was the beginning of doubt. The ego has never answered ANY questions since, though it has raised a great many." UrT6E3

Here Jesus tells us that the 'problem' of the separation really stems from a single question. What are you? This is a questioning of your SELF. Your identity.

It's not really a question that actually wants to FIND OUT what you are, or what you are like. It's actually a form of doubt in which it is UNSURE of what you are, and does not KNOW what you are, and is not really interested in knowing what you are.

It's actually an insinuation, an accusation, a way to say, YOU ARE NOT YOUR SELF. A way of saying, "I doubt you" or "I don't believe you." It's a sort of uncertainty, as in fearful outlook, where the ego mind is not sure at all and has a SUSPICION that you are not what you say you are.

And so at this point the ego is actually insinuating that YOU ARE NOT YOUR SELF, and that there is something true of you which is not really true, and that you're actually something ELSE. Because the ego wants to consider that IT is you, and wants you to believe that you are IT. So this is the beginning of a shift in identity.

There has not really been anything new or different that has happened since that moment. We have just gone further into the same doubt and fear, the same questioning and mistrust, the same desire NOT TO KNOW who we are.

So the entire separation could sum up as being, an attack on your identity. A state of mind that is in DENIAL of who you are, and is reading into your identity some properties or qualities that are not there. A state that does not want to ACCEPT what you are, but instead rejects it.

So the whole problem we have really is always about our SELF. The big question of, who are you? Because the true solution to the questioning is to KNOW THYSELF. To accept the atonement which means to accept fully WHAT YOU ARE. To accept the truth of you.

This all significantly hinges around your identity, because your mind has all the power and the ego needs your mind-power to support itself. If you were to withdraw power from this mis-belief about yourself it would undo the ego thought system entirely.

The big aim of the course then is the REVERSAL OF THE FIRST QUESTION, or rather, the ANSWER to the question. The true answer, which the Holy Spirit helps to remind you of, is .... I AM CHRIST. Or... I am still as God created me, I have not changed, and I am still perfectly innocent in God.

This response UNDOES the ego because it actually answers the question. And so it brings an end to the questioning, which was never an attempt to get the answer in the first place.

We can't really blame the world for being shit. It was designed on purpose to be shit. We wanted a shit world so that we could have a shit life and shit on God and pretend everything is shit. If we hold its shittiness against itself we're just failing to acknowledge that we wanted it to be shit in the first place.

We designed it to be shit and demanded it be shit, and now it's being shit, because that's its function. It was never meant to be shitless. It's just totally shit because we said to God, you are shit, and here's a great big shit world to prove it. And tried to cover up God's nice spotless porcelain reality with our shit streaks.

We put the shit there and made it shit. It is following our shitty design spec perfectly. We can't really blame it for being so shit when we're the ones that told it to be shit in the first place. By recognising that it can't be anything other than shit, and that its total shittiness isn't it's fault, due to being the result of having shit for brains on our part, then we can let it off the hook for its shitness and stop accusing it of hurling sins of shit all over the place.

All that happened is we shittily mis-used our shitless free will to make something shit and we did it on purpose and now we've got a shit world running on shit, behaving like shit and always being shit precisely because that's what we wanted. A nice big festering shit party to keep the nice clean God at arms length.

If we want a world that is not shit we need to first let go of the shit world and recognize its shittiness isn't its fault and it's not shitting on us. We need to realize we are doing the shit to ourselves cus we made the shit. We forgive the world for its shittiness merely by recognising how shit it is without adding to the shit or throwing more shit at it. We let it be free to be shit and free have its fetid stench be flushed down the cosmic toilet where it belongs.

Then we can realize its shitness isn't something we want because we are no longer willing to tolerate shit, and we want something less shit. So then we go off to the shitless land of God and let the shit world flush down the toilet like it's supposed to. We listen to the Holy Spirit Cosmic Plunger and let him do his scrubbing work to erase all sense of the world shitting on us, and make ourselves nice and clean on the inside, and then we can let the shit world gurgle down the drain. Bye bye shit world, hello sparkling fresh reality.

"Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."

I've recently been 'God bathing' ... But I don't quite have a tan yet.

Actually it's not as simple as just getting into my swimsuit and laying in the light. There's a slight problem. Part of me does not want it.

The interesting thing is, though, that as I attempt to expose myself to God's love - by which I mean, to actually accept the *experience* of it - to let it in and allow it - it shines a light on the parts of me that need healing.

These are the parts that I can tell feel like... They are not worthy, they are not good enough, they are guilty, they believe something is going to be taken away or lost, that hold grievances, that feel alone and separate and forgotten, etc... All of this 'me', this ego me, who I think I am right now, that when you really get down to it, when faced with 'the truth' (God), experiences itself as unwanted and lost.

It's not easy to be aware that this is in me and that it needs healing. But part of the 'God bathing' is that I become at least a little bit willing to let some love soak in. I let it come a bit closer. I let it seep in around the foundations of my 'self hate', and loosen it up a bit. It's like being surrounded with a healing balm, or getting a hug.

That resistant ego part of me still doesn't believe that God could love me...and it always has this sense of ...'because'... There is a reason... Because of what I did... Guilt.

Hopefully if I can release and let of enough blocks and resistances and beliefs in guilt, I can at least let myself realize, if for just a moment, that actually everything is going to be okay. I can be loved, I can be healed and forgiven, and I actually do deserve God's unconditional love.

And then little glimpses or feelings of optimism start to creep in, little awarenesses of... maybe it's true. Maybe I don't have to be this way. Maybe I don't have to stay separate and guilty. Maybe I don't have to die. Because what is this really all about but the secret death wish that we all have, believing we cannot be with God/Life ever again. My thought last night was, maybe I actually don't have to die. And that was a relief. "Thank God"... For sure.

Learning to allow and accept what God is.... Surrendering what I am not.

A powerful sentence came to me which felt great to repeat several times. "I am the Son of God. I am completely innocent."

ahhhhh. Now there is a slight tan.