Ok so this might be a bit controversial.

It seems to me, there MUST be "different things" in heaven, somehow. When you start to look at it, there's just too many different things happening there.

1) God created the one son or sonship, which comprises the sons of God. That's fine. If God were to have only created this we could perhaps say that everything God created is of one kind and its all like God and there are no differences. Except...

2) God also created the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is not exactly identical to the sons of God and has his own function or role. Now ask yourself, how is it possible for there to be multiple roles in a reality that's supposed to be all equal and one?

3) Beyond this, God also created the angels. We're told for example that Lucifer was an angel who projected himself out of heaven in the separation. Which means he lived in heaven prior to the separation. So now we have this different 'type' of being. And we're also told that angels were created "below" the sons of God, with a function of protection, whereas the sons of God have a function both protection and creation. So doesn't this imply that angels do not have their own creations? So how is it not possible that God has created "different kinds of beings?"

4) This leads on to the fact that the sons of God were created to add to the sonship, and do so by creating their own children. And what's to say that all of these children are exactly the same like a bunch of clones? So now you've got the children of the sons of God, who presumably we can say are equal in every way to the sons of God, including the fact that the children also are co-creators. This doesn't necessarily violate the idea that God only creates one kind of thing though, as we're told there is one continuous line of creation.

"Nothing in either of these statements implies any sort of level involvement, or, in fact, anything except one continuous line of creation, in which all aspects are of the same order."

5) If you now look slightly further afield, for example in the bible and elsewhere, or through personal experience, you'll discover that there are allegedly many different KINDS of angels. For example there are the archangels, guardian angels, cherabim, seraphim, principalities, thrones, and these all have various "hierarchy" to them. It also appears that each of the archangels for example has a "special role" or function, whereby they focus on helping people in various aspects of life, be it healing or protection or guidance etc. And we're also told Lucifer was the light-bearer or one of the brightest/most beautiful angels and why would he be different to others in this way?

It seems to me that regardless of any attempt to force heaven's contents into a nice ego box, the reality is that God in fact has many thoughts ("heaven is the sum of all God's thoughts, in number infinite.") And some of these thoughts might in fact be different. Which suggests God is not just sitting there "radiating" like some fixed light bulb, but rather is a living, thinking being, that is capable of having "different thoughts".

After all, the thought that produces the sonship and sons of God, is in some manner different to the thought that produces angels. And that in turn is also different to the thought that produced the holy spirit. Just the mere fact that the holy spirit was created in response to the separation, and was added to the christ mind, as something that was not in the christ mind prior, tells you that God is CAPABLE of creating "different things with different functions."

Now don't be fooled by the idea of differences always means ego. It does not. Nor does the idea of separation always mean ego divisions. e.g. Ego separation is not well understood by many people and it does not mean that the removal of all hints of separation is "non-ego".

"God who encompasses all being nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually and want to share it to increase their joy."

So we're told God created distinct individuals, who share everything with each other, which is fine. There's nothing ego about that, because ego is a problem of ATTITUDE and a breakdown in COMMUNICATION, it's not a problem of whether there are many beings or individuals. It's only an issue that they no longer want to SHARE EVERYTHING, which enters them into thoughts of selfishness and specialness.

It's quite plausible, if you think about it, that God is quite capable of very intelligently, unlimitedly, having various kinds of thoughts or thoughts which result in various kinds of creations, all of which are still living in harmony, all of which still possess divine holy properties, all of which share everything, but that nevertheless are distinct in some ways. Particularly in terms of their roles and capabilities. Because it does not sound as though angels are co-creators as such. That said, we ARE told that the holy spirit is also a co-creator.

What I want to be able to say is that God is one nature and one being and has one extension which is like a mirror image of himself and that's all he has created. But this just does not seem to correlate to what Jesus says in the course. Not only has he created more than one son in the sonship, in fact great numbers of beings, but also it appears he has created beings that have different functions and roles IN heaven, that has nothing to do with ego or separation. Which makes you wonder what ELSE God might have created.

We are also told that God created some manner of a universe or world, and so that now throws an additional "thought creation" into the mix. God has a kingdom, and he also mentions that angels have a kingdom, and so do you. And that your mind has the power to create worlds. Which all is starting to paint more of a picture that perhaps heaven is not just some big blob of light in which nothing is really happening, but rather than perhaps it is teaming with life and various different "stuff", that spirit beings are floating around having creative thoughts and conversations of some kind, and who knows what else.

What it boils down to for me is simple that God evidently has the power, ability, flexibility of thinking, and will, to be ABLE to create more than one kind of thing. Sons, angels, holy spirit, they are not all the same. And there IS a holy trinity which is real, and has distinct parts. There are so many statements in the course talking about parts and aspects of God. It does not appear God is a one-trick pony nor that he can only "burp out a single son of God". God appears to be much more versatile, unlimited, and quite capable of a plethora of creations. Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to create the holy spirit.

I was thinking about this and about the fact that "God did not create the body." And what came to mind was that perhaps in heaven, there are not bodies - which are walls of flesh and separation devices surrounding the mind - but that in fact in heaven we still have our mind/soul but WITHOUT the body SURROUNDING it, separating it off in a prison. Like, who you are within, your mind/soul/spirit, remains as a full being, and the outer-shell of the body which is made of sin is no longer there. We're like the oyster inside the shell.

Jesus tells us also that "to be without a body is to be in your natural state" and "minds need not bodies to communicate." Does this not imply that 1) we exist together as a family without bodies surrounding our selves, and 2) we interact through communication, and 3) we're having communication with other spirit beings in heaven through a telepathic mind-to-mind means? That doesn't exactly paint a picture of "nothing happening" in heaven.

While it's true there are no separation forms or spacetime-bodies or physical materials coming between us in reality, it is perhaps false to suggest that this means we don't have an individual difference. Our spirit being, let's think of it as perhaps a whisp of light, a spark of life, a shaft of being, perhaps does have some kind of unique "something" about it. What if God did in fact create all sons of God slightly differently? And what if this is not an ego thing? How is it that the angels have different abilities and functions? What if you actually have some kind of "personality" that is a little different to other personalities, in reality?

When you read stuff in other texts like the bible etc about the fall of man and so on, you hear about how there were things going on in heaven. There were arguments and conflicts, even a kind of war, and different individuals had different attitudes. In the course even, Jesus literally says that there was someone called ADAM, who started the tiny mad idea. How is it possible that people even had NAMES that are potentially different and potentially "human like"? And why does Jesus even refer to the sons of God as MAN?

Referring to people, sons of God, as 'man', or as souls that have choices and are co-creators, and different kinds of angels, etc certainly seems to hint at Heaven containing a plethora of different beings, who perhaps are distinct in some way, whereby their "spirit" has certain qualities or character. Beings of light are not just blobs. And just because we think of them abstractly doesn't mean they're non-descript and have no kind of personality. In fact, there are even statements in the course to suggest that God has feelings.

The jury is out, and more information is needed, but just based on what I've talked about, to me it sure sounds as though there's a whole lot more going on in Heaven than we might give it credit for.

After some recent insights, I have a theory... that God's Kingdom actually has locality and non-locality, meaning there is a kind of timeless time, and spaceless space. Whereas 'spacetime' is the idea of locality only.

God's whole system runs on a BOTH/AND kind of logic. Something true of me is true of you - golden rule, etc.

God is both personal and impersonal. He's personal because he gives 100% full attention to each individual being, yet he is impersonal because he treats all beings the same.

Similarly there has to be locality in order to have a creation distinct from God - "separate beings", souls that God created. It requires some sense of multitudes and some way to say "I'm here, you're there" sort of thing. But at the same time, non-local as in - we're both overlapping at one everywhere.

I think what happened in the separation is we denied the non-locality shared qualities of reality and tried to emphasise just the local ones, which produced space and time. Space is this idea of being isolated to one location, similarly with time being isolated to one moment.

If true, this suggests that in heaven there is a kind of "space" but it's not the same as the space of spacetime... its simultaneously locations but also the presence of everything everywhere all at once. That God is in everything still. Both local and non-local.

This would go on to allow there to be multiple creations, and for example the course makes reference to things like "you too have a kingdom your soul has created" and "your mind has the power to create worlds" etc. Why have the power to create worlds, if we haven't created worlds somewhere? And he says we basically have created kingdoms somewhere.

It requires a kind of 'space' but it's like... the things in the space are so shared and so one that everything is also everywhere. And it could imply that there is an enormous amount of universes of 'stuff' up there in reality. Not PHYSICAL forms, but forms of some kind that are also formless.

Another important property of reality is that everything is always open and fully accessible to everyone. And nothing real can be threatened. This means there's no hard surfaces, no walls, no impacts, no possibility of destruction or attack, nothing firm or solid, no things that can reject or repel or resist.

There could be for example some kind of 'thought creation' or 'idea' of a thing, perhaps a place, a gathering, a created world/environment or structure perhaps .... but its not made of of things which "keep people out" or "keep people in". You can't attack it because it's made of spirit. You go to touch it and you become one with it, overlap it, pass through it. No-one is denied any access ever.

So I think its possible on this basis that heaven could have "stuff in it", made of spirit/light, but the stuff doesn't have the repelling hard surfaces of spacetime matter, and because everyone IS everything nothing can sort of "block you" or "attack you" or anything like we see with physical objects. There could be spirit forms, ideas, thought-creations ("miracles are thought creations"), which we can merge with, pass through, overlap with, share, be one with.

Our experience there would be quite different than in the physical realm. In physicality, it's all made of walls, blocks, resistance, attack, denial, imprisonment, impacts, rebounds, forces keeping things separate, damage, decay, etc.... all these physics things all require a 'barrier' of some kind that says "keep out". Those barriers don't exist in heaven - you can pass right through it and be one with it. Total freedom to come and go anywhere and everywhere.

This is also why spacetime and the physical are illusions because they're basically formed from the idea of saying "no" to something, not allowing freedom, not allowing access, pushing away, forcing, etc.... a world of walls and blocks and solid lies and prison cells. This is how spacetime is fundamentally different from heaven. And also is why the physical world is a total illusion, formed from ideas of separations between everything rather than shared unity. And without separateness there can be no solid matter.

Also an interesting part of this is the non-locality of time. In 'time' we have localised time but not non-local time. So it's all sort of like one moment of 'now' but the things in it come and go (die), there is no sense of "always and forever". In heaven there could be local time - which is actually necessary in order to allow for example "the kingdom to increase", and for you to "add to the kingdom". And for God to create the holy spirit in response to the separation, and being in our right minds before the separation etc, and there being an "after the atonement".

All that creation requires is essentially a kind of causal chain which requires a kind of linear progression - a sort of time. But at the same time, heaven has total non-locality so it has non-local time everywhere as well, meaning, the now moment ie every moment in which we "live and move" through local/non-local space, also features a sense of this being always and forever, that all times exist at once as one thing, transcending 'local time' as we know it.

Cus there's some things about heaven's reality, creation, God's nature, which really need to have the presence of some kind of progression or time or sequence, as well as some kind of order or sort of places to create kingdoms and such. It has to have a 'kind of spacetime', it's just that it's not purely spacetime - it's spacetime + non-localised space and non-localised time. It's BOTH, eternal and time, unlimited and local.

Space is the local+non-local space of heaven stripped of its non-local shared nature. Time is the local+non-local time of heaven stripped of its non-local eternal nature. Separate spaces, separate times, instead of 'oneness spaces' and 'all times'. This idea at least seems to, for me, clean up some loose ends and open some doors to some possibilities that were overlooked.

Talking out loud to flesh this out... might be right, might not. But it's interesting.

"When you have looked on what seemed terrifying, and SEEN it change to sights of loveliness and peace; when you have looked on scenes of violence and death, and WATCHED them change to quiet views of gardens under open skies, with clear life-giving water running happily beside them in dancing brooks that never waste away; who need PERSUADE you to accept the gift of vision?" UrT20I12

"You are wholly lovely. A perfect shaft of pure light." UrT1B30W

"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky." UrT30D8

"When the mind awakes, it but continues as it always was." UrW167L9 "If you created GOD and He created you, the KINGDOM could not increase through its OWN creative thought. Creation would therefore be limited, and you would NOT be co-creators WITH God. As God's creative Thought proceeds FROM Him TO you, so must YOUR creative thoughts proceed FROM you to YOUR creations. In this way only can ALL creative power EXTEND OUTWARD. God's accomplishments are NOT yours. But yours are LIKE His. HE created the Sonship, and YOU increase it. You HAVE the power to ADD to the Kingdom, but NOT to add to the Creator OF the Kingdom." UrT7A2

"it was forever created TO increase. If you perceive it as NOT increasing, you do not know what it IS." URT7B5

"And His Sons, who create LIKE Him, follow it gladly, knowing that the INCREASE of the Kingdom depends on it, just as THEIR creation did." UrT7C7

"We have spoken often of the INCREASE of the Kingdom by YOUR creations, which can only BE created as YOU were." UrT7F12

"You, too, have a Kingdom which your Soul has created. It has not ceased to create because your ego has set you on the road of perception." URT4D3

"A co-creator with the Father must have a Son. Yet must this Son have been created like Himself. A perfect Being, all-encompassing and all-encompassed, nothing to add and nothing taken FROM; not born of size nor weight nor time, nor held to limits or uncertainties of ANY kind." UrT24H7

"Nothing in either of these statements implies any sort of level involvement, or, in fact, anything except one continuous line of creation, in which all aspects are of the same order." UrT9A2

In ACIM Jesus says the ego made the body as a way to focus away from the mind and to make the mind seem to be 'private'. The body is like a wall around the mind which creates the illusion and perception that the mind does not communicate. In other words, the mind seems to be shut off from all other equally-separate minds, and there is no sharing on any level of awareness.

The result of this is that the body is now exalted as a means of communication, in which the ego wants bodies to become physically intimate to 'represent' communication happening. Even the spoken word is then considered communication, but really it is a complete substitute for real, direct communication, and typically is a communication failure.

True Communication isn't telepathy as such, the idea of telepathy means separate people with separate minds sending messages. The truth is that our minds are NOT separate, and the belief in a separation between minds is the cause of all sickness, all mental illness, and death. And this is why the body dies - because the mind has been kept from true communication and locked in a prison. Or to put it another way, the body HAS to die if the mind remains unaware of its true function, because the body IS the idea of death.

Jesus talks about how the ego will do anything it can to ignore the mind, and will even let the mind have activity and thoughts because it thinks of it as serving the body and allowing the body to tell the mind what to do. Then the body uses the mind only so that the body can get what it wants, such as property, clothing, sex, food, physical contact, etc. You can see this reflected in the scientific/medical model which says that the 'brain' is the cause of consciousness or is the 'source' of thinking, which is completely the opposite of the truth.

This heavy focus on the physical, as well as this reversal of who is in charge - i.e. that the body is in charge of the mind, is a "confusion of the levels", which Jesus also explains as the cause of all sickness. "All sickness comes from confusing the levels" ... and that miracles correct this 'order' and place the levels in their proper order - i.e., restoring the mind as CAUSE and the body as EFFECT.

The body did not exist at all until the ego made it as a way to enslave the mind, to make you unaware that you even have a mind, to shut out awareness, to cut you off from everyone else, to make you isolated and lonely, and to disempower you. This was the PURPOSE of the body. This is the body's entire reason for existing. It is not some lovely creature that God created and that we should bow down and worship. It is an ego device for separation and for splitting the One Shared Mind into many many small imprisoned minds.

I had an experience of God a few years ago and in this experience my mind became very expanded, and I became very very aware. I thought I was fully awake when I woke up in the morning but it was absolutely nothing in comparison to how awake and aware I was in this experience. I became quite close to leaving my body because I was becoming very aware of God and the attraction to Him was so strong, that I wanted to leave absolutely everything behind and go to Him. It was like a scared child running to their parent after some nightmarish thing just happened and finally realizing that they can run to safety.

However, this didn't last very long and my expanded awareness and unification of mind started to come back into my body. I was extremely ungrounded for some time and gradually my awareness collapsed back down and reinserted itself into my body. This took a few weeks. As it progressed, I felt and perceived that it was like undergoing some kind of brain damage - as though coming into the body was taking on a tremendous dumbing down, suppressing, 'disabling', stunting of my consciousness, such that I could only liken it to having some kind of terrible brain damage that was blocking out and shutting out the beautiful awareness I'd experienced.

Towards the end of this process of 'returning' to the ego, which was very upsetting because once you taste God you don't want to leave... my awareness gradually entered into my physical senses more fully and this was like putting on a dark costume where, once you get inside it enough, the door behind you closes, your sense of connection to God gets almost completely shut off, your awareness of anything bigger is totally shut down, and you are sort of 'locked in'. Then, it seems that the only thing you can be aware of is what the body's senses show you - there is information coming into the eyes, tastes, smells, sounds etc, but very little awareness, no connection, no expansion, no real communication, and no God.

It's sort of like some creepy thing like, entering "The Matrix", or getting plugged into a virtual reality suit where, once you go into it, all of real reality gets shut out and you can ONLY fixate on what the 'encounter-suit' shows you. This is because the body forces you to focus on form, on what's outside of you, and what's separate from you. It totally shuts out your connection to the whole and makes you feel like some kind of tiny little, strapped-in prisoner, who can barely move or perceive anything, with blinders on, forced to stare at a make-believe world and not allowed to look at any thing else. This was really upsetting to go through 're-entry' but it showed me clearly just how much the body blocks awareness and shuts down the mind.

We can ascend our awareness to a heavenly place, I mean, when I was having my experience I was still in my body, just about, but such an expanded state of being really urges for total release from the body, it's so expansive that the body cannot contain it. At some point, as I see it, when we really thoroughly wake up not just to the Higher Self (sonship) but also beyond to Christ and to Heaven, it would become extremely, extremely difficult to maintain a body at all, and more than likely the mind would have to completely leave bodies entirely and then only return in the form of a kind of apparition or temporary image, which the mind is not at all imprisoned by.

So you see, the body is not an idol. It is not God's greatest creation. It is not something to worship. it is not what people are. It's not what you are. It is a very heavy, very isolating, very imprisoning suit of armor, deliberately made as a device for blocking awareness and diminishing the mind. It is the manifestation of an attempt to be separate from God. It is an illusion of minds no longer being joined. And when minds become joined and the mind becomes miraculous, the body has to heal, up to a point, but then the mind will stop creating a body.

How can a mind that knows of absolute oneness have any use for the body at all? Yes Holy Spirit can use it for TRUE communication, which means the MIND communicated with other minds directly - or rather, "shares". But the body itself is nothing but a temporary tool in a temporary dream, which we do not NEED in order to exist and therefore is not an inherent part of life. When Jesus was done with His body he saw no further truth in it and it DISAPPEARED. But he remained, because He is immortal spirit. And so are you.

P.S. "virtual reality" devices are now a metaphor for this... you strap on an artificial body, all of your visual senses are completely imprisoned and shut out from perceiving the 'real room', you go inside a fantasy world that doesn't exist, and you see only what this artificial body wants you to see. Your mind and awareness of the room outside is completely shut off, and you are immersed in a dream that you think is real. All the while real characters go about their business in the same room knowing, from the outside, that you are asleep inside a fake body looking at a fake world. So it is with the human body. And the body will eventually have to be 'taken off' from the mind to allow awareness to be fully aware of what is real.

Your main problem is one of identity. You've attempted to change your identity from Christ, to take on a new identity as an ego.

Your sense of your "Self" has become associated with, attached to, and confused with, an alternative model of identity.

The ego is nothing but a device, a contraption you invented like a vehicle. It's something for you to cling to and to try to model yourself on. It does absolutely nothing on its own. It is lifeless.

It's not until you attempt to become joined with the ego, as though becoming one with it, that it becomes a problem.

If you think of it as a costume (like the body), it's not until you actually wear it that it seems to change how you express yourself.

Or, like a pair of goggles, it's not until you put the goggles over your eyes that your perception is changed. You can put them down again at any time and immediately resume normal vision.

You, as a Child of God, bring your sense of Self with you wherever you go. Your Self is your identity. The ego has no real self at all. However, if you bring your sense of Self to the ego and merge with it, you combine your sense of Self with its way of filtering reality. You then see "through" it, and see in the way that it would see if it had its own ability to see.

It is only your own ability to see - awareness - that you combine with the ego, that seems to give the ego perception. It is only your own ability to experience - being - that you combine with the ego, that seems to give the ego the ability to experience. It is only your own power which you share with the ego, which seems to give the ego power. It only shares any of this with you while you are joined with it, and as soon as you take it off, it would just drop to the floor lifelessly. Just like the body.

The problem is, when you've put your ability to experience and your sense of Self into the ego, trying to cling to it tightly as though making you become like it, you will now experience life through its eyes. Whatever it sees or how it looks at things or what it wants or how it values or what it believes, now becomes your experience. And you will see reality as very frightening when you look with the ego!

That's a problem because the ego's way of looking at reality is completely backwards. Seeing life through its eyes you will instantly reject God. God will suddenly seem to be an attacker, an enemy and a threat. The truth will suddenly seem like it is against you. The truth will come across as being the complete opposite of what you are, because it does not contain any separation, and the ego identifies with being made of separation. So the truth will then seem to be an affront, highly offensive, dangerous, hideous, and like some monster come to destroy the ego.

You, as immortal spirit, using and attached to the ego, ... if you attempt to become more spiritual while still wearing the ego identity, ie still joined with the ego mind and still looking through the ego goggles, will have a pretty interesting experience. You will not want to wake up. You will see any efforts to wake up as harmful and hurtful. You will interpret efforts to wake up as suicidal and sacrificial. And you will become afraid that the truth is coming along to destroy you. This can potentially provoke you to put up defenses against the truth, producing sickness and ultimately death.

This is precisely what you will experience each time you try to open up to more truth. Each time you let in some light. Each time you want to become closer to God. You, attached to the ego, inadvertently try to bring the ego into that light with you. It cannot go there and it won't go there. It will see it as you trying to destroy it. And it will put up a fight. Part of you which seems not to be in the ego gets closer to the light, and the part of you which does not want to let go of the ego - believing it is your Self - kicks and screams and resists and hates you for it.

This produces the ego rebound. Essentially, the ego rebound comes from trying to make the ego more spiritual, by attempting to bring it closer to its opponent. While you are identified with it, your attempt to go visit God without leaving the ego behind will create an elastic effect which will snap you back into the body and you will subsequently rage because of how you did such a horrible thing to your "self".

Waking up must entail the letting GO of the ego, recognizing that it is not your identity. Otherwise, each time you pull your "Self" into the light, and thus the ego with you, it's going to hurt. The ego cannot see the truth in any other way. It only sees the opposite of the truth as being true. It will never change. The ONLY way to be free of it is to let it go, to stop being it, stop wearing it, stop looking through it, and stop using it. We have to learn that the ego is NOT our "Self".

So this is purely a matter of identity. Are you made of ego? Is your Self really separate from God? Who are you? Are you Christ? Are you a body? Are you part of the ego thought system? Are you made of sin and guilt and fear? Do you believe in what the ego believes in? It's only because you have become CONFUSED about what really is YOU, and what is the ego, that you are having to go through this struggle of "awakening'. You literally believe, through the ego, that you are trying to destroy yourself by waking up.

Sometimes when you are exposing yourself to "too much truth" or "too much Course", you'll have these ego rebounds. You kind of can't help it. You are still holding on tightly to the very thing which is clouding your judgement, while simultaneously trying to be free of it. This makes you torn. Trying to be in two thought systems at once, or two canoes. There is part of you that sincerely believes you are the ego and you are the body. The suggestion that these things don't exist frightens you.

Letting go, letting go, letting go. Stopping being ego. Surrendering the false identity. Remembering who you really are. Accepting the truth that you are Christ. Relinquishing your belief in, trust in, faith in, confusion with, and reliance on a false self that isn't really a part of your identity. You literally believe the ego is who you are. It's not. Just some clarification needed. Some discernment. Is this really true about who I really am, or is this just a misperception caused by me using the ego goggles? Is this really who I am, or is this just a body I'm wearing temporarily?

Sorting out "who you are" is what this entire process is about. Each effort to "find out" will likely be partly fruitful and partly self destructive. Each time it will potentially offend you. Gradually you will inch towards awakening. Jesus says, "most of you will come in tears".

Each time you have a rebound, try to focus on LETTING GO. Just stop to recognize that you - part of your Self that's still identified with the ego or body, has become deeply hurt and offended by what the truth said about it. IT believes that the truth is vicious and mean and disrespectful. It is scared and freaking out because it doesn't understand what the truth really means or implies.

It, seeing through the ego, sees your efforts as blasphemous and an attack, and so it feels attacked and guilty. And that's what you'll feel like when you get a rebound - attacked and hurt and guilty. Recognize that in you and have compassion for that part of you. Try to get that part of you to let go of being ego.

Try to reassure your "self" that the truth doesn't mean YOU don't exist because YOU are not the ego. Be gentle with that part of you which is just like a confused wounded animal in the corner. Be kind to it. Don't push it too far too fast, that will just hurt more.

Likely you will have to feel the feelings of the hurt that was created by "its" mis-perception of what you did. Your attempt to wake up was like an abandonment of the ego self, like a self sacrifice. It doesn't have the ability to see any other way. So take your time and rest and recover and stop pushing yourself so hard.

Gradually and gently you need to learn to just LET GO of the ego because it is not who you really are. What you'll learn about your real identity is going to be quite a surprise!

Imagine you go into a room which is just completely empty, with pure white walls, ceiling and floor. There is nothing in the room.

This room is a holo-deck, or a holographic projection room, in which very believable and real-seeming objects can show up. They can even have physical properties like weight and inertia and can be moved around and interacted with.

So you're standing there in this empty room and suddenly a chair appears out of nowhere. You go over to it and it looks incredibly realistic. You actually believe it's a "real chair". You're like, how did this chair get in here? You touch it and it feels solid, and you pick it up and move it a bit. It makes a slight noise as the legs scrape on the floor, and then you sit on it. It supports you. Very realistic. Very lifelike.

Except that it's just a hologram. It's just an illusion of a chair, being projected there by some kind of "system" that's running unseen. But it's so convincing, you're certain it's a real chair.

Another chair appears out of nowhere and sitting in this chair, there suddenly appears some person. This person must've been there all along, you reason, trying to justify how your perception can have not noticed them before, because they seem real. Their body looks real, it moves and breathes and has a pulse. The person is looking around, fidgeting and wondering what's going on.

The thing is, this other person is someone you know and that person is sick, or they have a disease, or a problem, or some kind of suffering or lack, or maybe they are dying, or are very emotionally upset. You see them, and you're like, wow, that seems so real. It really seems like that person is there, having these issues, and that it's all very tangible and realistic. You're so convinced you don't even remember that they are being projected by the same unseen system.

So then, because you know this person and they are unhappy or unhealthy in some way, you have this reaction, or a whole bunch of reactions about them. You believe their sickness is real, because it looks real, and you can maybe even see and touch it, or can see how it seems to be affecting them. And your reactions compel you to want to help or have sympathy or fix them or do something to make their suffering stop. All of these are reactions to the belief that they really are sitting there, having an unhappy time, and yet all along you don't realize - that person is not even really sitting there. It's a holographic projection of a body, just like an image in a dream. It's coming from somewhere else.

You build up this whole set of reactions and counter-measures and attempts to solve the real-seeming problem, so convinced that it's really happening and there's a real danger or threat to that person. But there isn't. It's just an image. It's not a real sickness, it's a holographic sickness. It's not real damage to their body, it's just a projected image. It's not real suffering, it's just a fictional suffering. Some system somewhere unseen is projecting all of this and making it seem very real and convincing. It's totally made-up.

Suddenly you see in the corner of the room a doorway, outside of which sits a computer, and this computer is actually projecting the images that are in the room. You can see beams of light coming from it, making the person appear, making the chairs appear, and then you notice it even making your own body appear. Your own body is even a holographic image coming from somewhere, and it's not even really there.

Realizing this, you RECOGNIZE that these images are just illusions being projected, and are not REAL. They are made up. The joke was on you. You believed them and fell for it. The other person isn't even really that body that you saw. YOU aren't even the body that you thought you were. The chairs don't even exist. It's all a trick. What you thought was real sickness was just an illusion of sickness, a holographic projection of sickness. It was nothing more than a flickering image like from a movie projector. It had no reality to it, no truth to it. It wasn't doing anything, or causing anything. It could've been switched on or off in an instant, or even removed entirely at the flip of a switch.

A little light lights up on the computer and the image of the other person suddenly disappears. In their place, another body shows up - the same person, but in a state of perfect health. This remains for a moment as you marvel at it, thinking that they are now a "real healthy body", and you have another reaction - a positive reaction but a reaction nonetheless, that the other person has been saved. But this is false as well.

And a second later the computer projects yet another image of the person back to being a sick body again. Your heart sinks, as though the whole terrible nightmare is happening over again. But then 2 seconds later, it flips back to a healthy body again. You suddenly realize again, all of these body images are not reality. None of them are true. None of them are who the person is. And the appearance of sickness is completely fictional and meaningless. If it can be switched on and off at will, there is no victimhood whatsoever.

Seeing where the dream images are coming from, who is projecting them, the falseness of their illusions, and not buying into the deception that they are REALLY THERE, frees the mind to SEE and RECOGNIZE illusions for what they are. That other person you know who you think is really sick, is not sick at all. Their body is part of a dream you are dreaming. Their sickness is not even really a real sickness. It's just a made-up image. It could be switched off in an instant. In fact Jesus tells us in the course that if we were to stop believing the lie, there is not a single sickness which would not be cured instantly.

We need to learn to recognize the nothingness of what IS nothing - this entire dream world and everything in it. It's all just a big dream. We're DREAMING! This is not reality. It is not real at all. Nothing in this world is true. It's all pretend. There is nothing of any more importance than anything else, hence no order of difficulty in miracles, because it's all just "movie" that's being projected. The mind projecting it can chop and change any part of it in an instant. It can flip between images of health and sickness simply because the body is an illusion, and what lies beyond the illusion is free of all sickness.

This is why we need to learn to recognize that sickness/disease/suffering/upset/death etc is not REALLY HAPPENING. And there is nothing about it which is so heavy and fixed and irreversible and seemingly insurmountable, that it can't be just flipped on or off at will. We need to learn to BELIEVE and PERCEIVE that all forms, and as a lesser group, all sick forms, are nothing but temporarily momentary images projected by a mind, and given the appropriate willingness and clarity of perception, those forms can be changed fully and instantly right now. We must overlook the illusions of how these forms of sickness/distortion are difficult or severe or life-threatening. That's all an illusion. Death is no more "difficult" an illusion to change than a pimple on your face. The FREEDOM to do this is what Jesus is teaching us, by helping us to SEE clearly that illusions of difficulty are completely false and don't mean anything.

Nothing I see means anything, because nothing I see in this dream is anything at all. It's all one thing. One dream, one illusion, showing up as illusions of forms and differences and a hierarchy of illusions. The hierarchy is FLAT! There is no real hierarchy. Cancer should be no more difficult to correct than a bloody nose. It should be effortless to change a car into a tree. This world has no power to prevent this capability. But while we believe the illusions that have been projected and are convinced there is such a thing as "real sickness", or "real death" or reasons "why you can't", then we are believing in the ego thought system and have not restored cause and effect to its proper order (your mind causes, the world obeys). And if we can't do this, we still have level confusion, and are sick ourselves.

"What if you looked within and saw there IS no sin?"

Fact: God is permanent, nothing real can be changed.

Fact: You cannot change God's will.

Fact: You cannot produce effects in God against His will.

Fact: You cannot sin against His will or cause Him in any way.

Fact: You have not caused God, you cannot cause God, and you never will cause God.

Fact: You have not sinned in reality, against reality, to reality, or in any real way.

Fact: It is IMPOSSIBLE to sin. It is IMPOSSIBLE to affect God. You have NOT done so. Nothing real has happened.

So, the question we now have is... what is this state that we're in, where it seems like something went wrong and we're suffering?

There was this tiny mad idea which basically was the idea that something impossible is possible. Even though you knew it was IMPOSSIBLE to affect God, you tried to BELIEVE it was actually possible. You wanted to believe you COULD sin, and that you HAD done so, and that it had produced ACTUAL real effects in reality against God. However, the impossible remains impossible so you HAVE NOT DONE IT AT ALL. Believing that you have, is an obvious ERROR.

So all that this separated state entails is BELIEVING IN something which isn't true. Believing and investing "reality" into and trying to MAKE REAL, something which is not real and never will be. You are trying to convince yourself that you can, and have, sinned. All your states of suffering, sin, guilt, fear, punishment, sickness, death, are all attempts to prove that you CAN DO what you cannot do. That you CAN kill God and His son. Or that you have. You cannot. And you have not. And you never will.

So you are immortal and you're trying to prove that you can be mortal, but you can't. Nothing you do can change the facts. You cannot actually sin. You cannot change God or His Creation. It is literally impossible. So all this other stuff that you BELIEVE, all the ways that you think you should be suffering, all the fear that comes from the guilt, all the guilt that comes from believing you DID sin, it is in fact TOTALLY UNFOUNDED AND UNNECESSARY.

It's kind of like, a long time ago you THOUGHT that you HAD committed some terrible crime, or that you tried to attack God, and in the scuffle you IMAGINED that you had in fact lashed out at Him and hurt Him. And it seemed to happen so quickly you took one glance and thought you SAW evidence or proof that you had actually inflicted harm. And then you suddenly recoiled and went into the sin belief and then into guilt and then into fear and suffering. You went off by yourself hanging your head low and BELIEVING that you had done something REALLY BAD back there. That you committed a terrible crime and all of reality was affected.

But here's the good news. In your moment of attempted attack you were ONLY MISTAKEN in believing that you DID actually do something. You made an ERROR in believing that a sin was committed. The good news is, God was in fact NOT AFFECTED, you DID NOT change Him, and there HAS NOT been any harm done. So now here you are, suffering and hating yourself and hurting yourself ONLY because you think that you deserve it because you THINK that you actually DID commit a sin. But in truth... this is the good bit... YOU DID NOT SUCCEED.

So if you could turn back time and go look at that moment where you thought you attacked God, you'll be surprised to find out, that YOU DIDN'T. And God has been happy and healthy all this time. And He's not even mad at you. He isn't holding any grievance and He just wants to love you. He sees in fact that you became horrified by your own belief in your own attack, which DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, but you didn't realize that it didn't do anything. You THOUGHT it was real. You put reality into it and believed in it. You convinced yourself you were a sinner, when in fact you've been innocent all along.

So this state we find ourselves in, in this world, suffering and unhappy, is ENTIRELY a case of mistaken identity, mistaken criminality, and being TOTALLY IN ERROR about what we think happened. NOTHING HAPPENED. You DID NOT SIN. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. REALITY IS NOT AFFECTED. GOD IS HAPPY WITH YOU. And yet here you are believing, in a dream, that you did in fact commit a sin.

So you're not really dealing here with real sin, at all. Reality, is kind of "over there", unharmed, unchanged, completely the same as it always was. Even your own holy self is there, innocent as ever. And then "over here", where you're hanging out, you're immersed in this cloud of confusion and self deception, believing that you did a crime YOU DID NOT COMMIT, and becoming suicidal and beating yourself up for it, when in fact you DIDN'T EVEN DO IT! You're living in a fantasy world of believing you DID, and trying to PROVE that you COULD, but you can't and NEVER WILL prove it. "You've made a bargain you cannot keep."

So you're just a bit confused. You're in error. You're mistaken, to believe that you can or have sinned. It's JUST A MISTAKE. You are mistaken ABOUT sinning. That's why it is TOTALLY FORGIVEN and forgivable, because you HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING REAL. You've frightened yourself and reacted and gone into self loathing purely on the basis of a misunderstanding. And so now our work with A Course in Miracles is all to do with coming to realize that you DIDN'T DO what you think you did. This is the basis of forgiveness, learning to recognize THERE IS NO SIN. Sin is NOT REAL. There is no such thing as real sin because it's impossible. And this whole dream has had NOTHING to do with real sin, and everything to do with IMAGINED SIN.

We're just cleaning up the mess and confusion which came from BELIEVING an illusion is real, BELIEVING that the impossible is possible, BELIEVING that you've done something that you could not POSSIBLY do. The innocent cannot sin. You cannot leave your innocence, nor can you stop being innocent because it's God's will that you be innocent forever. You CANNOT DESTROY GOD'S CREATION. And you have done NOTHING to change it. All you worry and guilt and self-attack and punishments and sinfulness and fear is all FOR NOTHING, because it's all founded on a LIE. A totally false premise. You were MISTAKEN to BELIEVE that you can or did sin. YOU DIDN'T.

This whole "problem" is not to do with healing a sin, it's entirely to do with waking from BELIEVING that you did. From thinking it happened. From thinking it was possible at all. This is why the whole thing is merely an ERROR, as seen by the Holy Spirit. He knows you cannot sin and never have. He knows that this error, this entire illusion of trying to make sin real, is completely a lie. Totally false. You never will separate from God. You never will attack Him. You never will kill His Son - yourself. You never will lose your innocence. You are just dreaming of being a sinner, while all along you are not one.

"But we can dream we have forgiven him in whom all sin remains impossible, and it is this we choose to dream today."

"True perception is the means by which the world is saved from sin, for sin does not exist. And it is ... Forgiveness proves it is impossible because it sees it not."

"Sin is insanity. It is the means by which the mind is driven mad, and seeks to let illusions take the place of truth. And being mad, it sees illusions where truth was"

"Today s idea but states the simple truth that makes the thought of sin impossible."

"For it is impossible to think of sin as true and not believe forgiveness is a lie."

"What faith you give to sin, you TAKE AWAY from holiness."

"It is not inherent in a mind, which cannot sin. As sin was an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself".

"Do I DESIRE a world in which I have no enemies, and cannot sin?"

"The Self Which God created cannot sin, and therefore cannot suffer."

"And what is wholly sinless cannot sin. Such is the simple truth."

It may not be obvious, but A Course In Miracles is basically trying to get you out of a state of mortality, into a state of immortality. Think about all the ways that it does this.

That you are not at the effect of the world.

That nothing in the world causes you or brings oppression or makes you sick or afraid.

That you have the power to dominate everything you see.

That your body has no power over the mind and mind is stronger than the body.

That in the rusurrecetion you overcome death entirely.

That all forms of suffering are forms of mortality/death.

That you are to dis-identify from being an illusion such as believing in the body or the world.

The fact you are at home in God, immortal and permanent, merely having a dream of death.

The teaching that your attack thoughts attack your invulnerability, that you can be attacked by nothing but your thoughts, and that without attack thoughts you are invulnerable.

The secret of salvation, that you realize you are doing everything to yourself, have made a wrong decision which caused you to not be at peace, and now you want to choose immortality again.

The application of forgiveness which is the same thing as atonement and true perception and salvation and resurrection, nothing short of overcoming death and becoming absolutely transcendent of all suffering.

"Swear not to die, you holy Son of God", clearly indicates that you as an immortal child of God should never be choosing death, which means never choosing mortality. Which means claiming your immortality.

"Sickness is an attempt to prove you can be hurt", the entire teaching about what you use the body for, that death is a choice and you cannot die unless you choose to, and the use of the body to demonstrate your brother’s innocence or sinfulness, is all geared towards you acting like an immortal being not a suffering sinner.

Every single aspect of the Course is geared not merely towards you becoming peaceful and dying, or happier but sick, but in fact is aimed at taking you totally beyond all forms of suffering, death, sickness, unhappiness and vulnerability of every kind. To never again be affected by anything. Nothing short of immortality. Never again to suffer, never again to die.

This is the central core of the course. "There is no death, the Son of God is...." IMMORTAL!

Every lesson, every quote, every paragraph, is all speaking to the vast collage of illusions we have invented to try to PRETEND to be mortal in a dream of death. To pretend it is possible to die. To make-believe things that seem to crumble, decay, erode and end. An entire fiction of a world that seems to come and go, having beginnings and endings which clearly are not eternal.

"The world you see is an illusion of a world, God did not create it, for what He creates MUST BE ETERNAL as himself."

It’s not merely a matter of whether the world is real, it obviously cannot be because nothing in it has immortality. It is a dream of death, and there really is no world.

This is all over the course. Immortality, invulnerability, not being affected, permanence, peace that lasts forever, God’s creations and minds carrying on uninterrupted forever, nothing being able to attack or sin against God/reality, nothing real being affected, the Son of God being beyond death, it all points to IMMORTALITY being your totally natural state of being.

"You cannot die, but you can confuse yourself with things that do."

This is also why "the body cannot contain you who are life". It’s also why "God cannot enter a body, nor can you join him there." This is why God’s Kingdom is an IMMORTAL LIVING FOREVER WORLD OF LIGHT.

Any time we entertain ideas of suffering, sickness, death, fear, being affected, caused, threatened, anything that suggests or even hints at us not being invulnerable and immortal, we are "playing dead". Any time we take illusions of attack, vulnerability, suffering, or any kind of non-immortal activity seriously, we are believing we are NOT immortal. And we believe this about others too when we fear for their life. That condemns us both to death, or at least tries to. No-one can really die!

Because your are immortal, you ARE still as God created you. God did not create you capable of death. Or sin. Or attack. OR murder. You cannot do any of these things in reality. So you DREAM of being in a world where all FALSE things are possible, where IMPOSSBILITIES seem possible, where everything is subject to attack and impermanence, and where death seems to strike at every thing that moves. An entire fantasy world that runs against every law of God and opposes His Will, trying to prove His children can die.

"The laws of this world go against your nature." This world goes against your IMMORTALITY.Your natural condition is to live utterly free of all attack, impervious to all suffering, incapable of death, incapable of unhappiness, and absolutely permanent in all your ways. Absolutely incapable of being attacked ever! You are not RELATIVE to life, you are ABSOLUTELY ALIVE. Forever. Nothing can affect you against your will unless YOU WILL TO BE AFFECTED. And then you are FAKING IT, because your immortality CANNOT be affected. All sickness, suffering and death is FAKE. A huge lie.

You are as permanent as God. Any attempt to believe, perceive, suggest, portray, act, think, or live otherwise, is a denial of your immortality. It’s an attempt to make believe that you are not immortal and that you can suffer. And every single form of non-immortality or vulnerability is a self-chosen, self-inflicted attack and an attempt to prove you are not immortal. And because all such attempts to change your unchangeability can never work, they are absolutely futile make-believe.

Death is futile. It has no causal effect whatsoever upon the Son of God. It does not work. Everything you are doing to make yourself suffer is a waste of time. It has no effect on your immortal spirit. And you are only your immortal spirit. Every single way that you pretend to be afraid, sick, suffering and dead, is absolutely 100% chosen by you as part of your attempt to ACT AS IF YOU CAN DIE. It’s an attempt to prove death is real and happening to you. How can death happen to someone who is IMORTAL? How can an immortal being be SICK or suffer or even unhappy in any way, thinking that something can disturb its permanent peace?

Potent questions to ask oneself:

1) Am I using this to pretend to not be immortal?

2) Why am I trying to prove I am not immortal?

3) Why am I believing that my immortality can be affected by this?

4) Does this have any power whatsoever to change what God created?

5) Why am I lying by pretending I can suffer?

6) Why am I denying that I cannot be affected by anything?

You are an immortal being, temporarily hanging out in a dream world where everything is an illusion of mortality. A world of death is obviously not the natural environment for a being of eternal life.

Yet the body can become a sign of life to those grown tired of the fetid stench of death. It can become a symbol of immortality, representing eternal life. Through its loveliness and health it can teach by demonstration with a power greater than a thousand tongues that there has been no attack, no vulnerability, no damage, no mark of sin, no evidence or proof of viciousness and no sign of evil effects. It can represent wholeness and healing and innocence and invulnerability, and thus teach this to everyone.

To awaken fully is nothing short of waking up to immortality, to eternal life in Heaven, the end of all sickness and death, the cancellation of sin and guilt, and a return to unlimited permanence. It requires the end of the body, which is nothing. "Indeed, you cannot remain in this world, with this knowledge."

NOTHING REAL CAN BE THREATENED, because it is immortal! YOU are real. You cannot be threatened! You are totally permanently alive. Forever and ever. Why do you believe you can or have been affected by anything or anyone ever? You have done nothing but attack your own inherent invulnerability, trying to pretend you can suffer. Isn’t it time to own up to being immortal?

In order to uncover a blocked awareness, we need to be willing to admit to the truth. And that means being willing to admit that we are NOT doing what we are claiming to be doing, we DO want the suffering we are experiencing, and we ARE actively forcing ourselves to be victims.

There is a very simple law at work. And it is this: You are completely free. Which means that whatever you are experiencing, YOU MUST WANT IT. There are no exceptions to this. And this is very difficult to fully and deeply look at, yet alone to accept. Yet it is the secret of salvation.

Half the time we might be saying things like, I really want to be with God, I want to love everyone, I love my kids, I believe in healing and health, I don't believe I'm guilty, etc... BUT, at the same time, EXPERIENCING the exact opposite.

This is the ego talking. The ego is VERY good at lies. It's very good at disguises. It's very good at talking out of both sides of its mouth and being two faced. Generally speaking, the ego is the idea of dishonesty. And in dishonest states, you are quite capable of saying or even believing things that you do not REALLY believe deep down, and do not believe fully.

When you take a look at the evidence, either you ARE ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING what you say you believe is real, or you are lying to yourself. You can wrap up all kinds of lovely statements in what seem to be well-meaning fervent desires for something, but this doesn't mean you are CHOOSING TO DO these things.

For example, someone who sees themselves as being unfairly treated or victimized, will complain a lot. They will make a whole lot of noise about how much they DO NOT WANT what is happening. But all of this noise is utter bullshit. What's happening is the person HAS chosen to suffer, WANTS to keep suffering, does NOT want to actually take the steps of healing that would UNDO it, and so is literally STUCK in a state that they CLAIM to want to get out of, but which they are not ACTUALLY getting out of.

Instead, the ego victim tries to point fingers at all the reasons and powers other than themselves, that are keeping them bound to hell and upset. Waiting for someone else to bail them out. Waiting for someone to save them. Waiting for someone to change on their behalf. Or even waiting for someone to do something to them to make a difference. This is all an UNWILLINGNESS to ACTUALLY look within and undo the ACTUAL belief in sin that is lurking in the background, causing the suffering.

You have it in your power to undo all forms of suffering if you so choose, because you have free will. Your free will means you can NEVER get away with finding ANY excuse for why you are in the situation you are in. NOR that you can find any excuse for why you cannot get out of it, or why getting out of it depends on ANYTHING. Not on another person, not on the body, not on forces of nature, not on money or circumstances, nothing.

There is NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM CHOOSING HEAVEN. No-one is holding you in hell but yourself. This is the secret of salvation. If you would simply ACTUALLY go ahead and CLEARLY, CONCISELY, CONFIDENTLY COMMIT to a more healed state of mind, your mind would be healed instantly. Nothing can stop you but yourself. All the beliefs we have about WHY we can't, are made up lies.

"If you wish ONLY to be healed, you heal. Your single PURPOSE makes this possible."

Jesus states clearly in the course that your completely clear single-minded decision to heal causes you to heal. Because in this unwavering commitment to ONE OUTCOME, your will is completely unopposed BY ITSELF, and therefore does not thwart its own efforts to CHOOSE. The power of decision is your own, enabling you to DISTINCTLY CHOOSE what you WILL. Whatever happens you have asked for, and whatever you do not want does not happen. This is why you are ruler of the universe.

So if we're in a state where we're complaining about the state we're in, or we feel stuck in it, or can't get out of it, or are claiming to have the best intentions, or would do something "IF" a dependency on something else is fulfilled, we are really not being completely honest. We are not admitting to how we ourselves are holding ourselves in hell by NOT undoing the ACTUAL problem.

If the real problem is a belief in sin, we need to stop believing in sin. This will take care of ALL problems. But if we do not WANT to undo the sin, we will remain in guilt and suffering, complaining about why the suffering is unfair and making tremendous steam about just how much we "really want" to get out of it. Or to be rescued. But we have to stop and get really honest. If we are STILL suffering, we MUST NOT WANT TO STOP IT. Even if we are screaming at the top of our lungs "I want this to stop". Saying so is not taking constructive action steps to DO IT.

This deeper desire is the choice to continue suffering, and this choice is the deeper problem. It's what's blocking awareness. We have to be willing to ADMIT that we HAVE CHOSEN to suffer, and become willing to CHOOSE AGAIN, a better way, which means being willing to actually address and undo the "real cause" of the problem in our mind.

All of our positive-sounded well-meaning wishful-thinking pleasantries about how much we want the truth and love and light and God, do not actually take us closer to God. They take us away from God because they are forms of denial covering up desires NOT to be with God. Either we will choose to be with God or not to be. But when we're choosing not to be, and claiming that we want to be, we must be lying. We can't have it both ways.

Looking within to the honest facts of what we are ACTUALLY DOING, and admitting that if we are not with God it MUST be because we want some kind of sinful suffering, this opens up the doorways, lifts away the denial, removes the illusions of peace, and allows us to shed real light of truth on the situation. Then we can SEE, that in fact we have a grievance, or an unhealed wound, or a secret sin or hidden hate. And this hidden stuff's REMOVAL is what will actually brings us closer WITHIN to awareness of God's presence.

Going through the dark shit is unfortunately a lot harder and requires a lot more radical honesty than the fluffy externalized "happy seeker" route of rainbows and nice-sounding fluff. We DID choose to reject God. We did actually push away our inheritance. As Jesus states in ACIM, "the separation HAS occurred." We have to admit that we're STILL choosing it, if we are not GETTING the result of reunion with God.

We did seem to WANT to suffer. We DID make a mistaken decision by choosing that, and we need to choose again if we want peace. That means looking at what we ACTUALLY DO BELIEVE, and not at what we THINK we believe. And these dark beliefs can then be brought into the light and released.

"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace. (meaning, I literally CHOSE TO SUFFER, and I have to admit I have chosen that, in order to recognize that I need to choose again)

I made the decision myself (no one else made me suffer, I did), but I can also decide otherwise. (meaning I have the power to CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER, and to force this to happen).

I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace. (I want to stop suffering and by WILLING NOT TO SUFFER, the suffering stops - if I'm doing so honestly and fully)

I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM. (I am not GUILTY for making a wrong decision, I am just mistaken and need correction of the ACTUAL problem, which is a belief in the desire to suffer)

I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me." (I receive healing help from the Holy Spirit and open up to His Light of Truth to shine into my mind and illuminate it, so that I can ACTUALLY experience what I've been saying I want.)

Mind in its natural state, experiences a sense of safety. This safety is based on the fact that the mind doesn't see itself as at the effect of anything external. It does not believe in being caused against its will. It does not have backwards/false perception. It also does not position itself as a victim or at the effect of the world.

This produces a kind of internally supported strength, in which the mind is not undermining itself and it recognizes it has nothing to fear. It feels "self contained", whole, and undivided. This internal unity is experienced as protection and as immortality. The mind doesn't see itself as vulnerable to anything because it recognizes it cannot be attacked or threatened.

Reality cannot be attacked because reality is permanent truth. It is inherently immortal and exists forever. Anything real, which includes you and your mind, has eternal life. Permanence is your natural condition. And the mind in its sane state is in touch with this permanence, and so recognizes it can never be altered by anything, rendering it invulnerable.

If the mind decides to move into ego, it is moving into positioning itself as a victim. It begins to see itself as at the effect of external forces, and made to suffer against its will. Perception reverses because cause is seen as coming from the world towards the self rather than the other way around. And this brings with it all manner of threat and danger, based on the idea that causes outside of you can do something to you against your will.

This then results in a change in the internal experience of the sense of safety and invulnerability. It's as though the mind "breaks open" its shell of protection, and develops a "wound". The wound seems open and bleeding, psychologically. This wounded part of the mind feels exposed, raw, accessible, attackable and threatened.

When this happens you feel like you are vulnerable. It's as though you open up a doorway and take off your protective armor, and now it seems possible that the things of the world can come into you, past your boundaries, and directly attack the core of your being. This is because your sense of identity has shifted from immortal spirit to the mortal body.

Your sense of self sees itself as self conscious and descended onto the battlefield, identified with a body, viewing itself as frail and weak and limited and incapable, and it now seems as if others have power over you. This produces a feeling like your insides are opening up, have become brittle and thin. And you'll feel like people have direct access to who and what you are as an attackable thing.

This feeling of being vulnerable to attack, living in fear, feels like being very exposed and unsafe. It's as though you, who are supposed to be walking around inside a perfect suit of protection, have lost your armor and are now a weak helpless thing that anyone can attack at will. This makes you afraid and threatened and there is a constant feeling of dread and stress. And the ego is in this state all the time.

You may also find that you then conflict with someone or they try to attack you. Because of your identification with that which can be attacked, as a victim, your mind actually believes in horizontal cause and effect. Out of the exposed vulnerable wound in the mind, you form a kind of psychological artificial "bridge" to the other person. Or maybe better described as a "bond" or "cords of fear." It's as if by believing that the other person is the cause of you, you are "tied to" their will power, causally and psychologically.

By believing that someone else has power to attack and affect you, your mind sees itself as being controlled by, caused by, influenced by, some external power. And that produces a sense that you are being tossed around on the waves. You'll try to forget about the encounter but you won't be able to drop it, because you haven't forgiven it. And fear thoughts about it will keep being generated by your mind in response to the perceptual belief that you are being attacked by them.

These fear cords will feel like areas of exposure within yourself, as though you have opened up a direct line to the person and they can cross that bridge and attack your insides directly. By hanging onto the belief in their ability to cause you, you maintain this bridge across which flows attack and keeps you in a constant state of fear.

These bridges of fear are dismantled through a correction process of forgiveness, in which you recognize and affirm that you are NOT at the effect of that person. They are not causing you, cannot attack you, have no power over you, and are not guilty of anything. This actually psychologically dismantles these horizontal cause-effect fear cords and you can feel them disappearing or "closing off".

The removal of this psychological "funnel of attack" seems to "close off" your mind to this idea of external causes. It's like sealing up a wound or fixing a mental leak. And as the sense of exposure and threat is closed up, the closing up feels like the formation of a barrier of protection. And then you feel safer because you are no longer "bleeding mind", and no longer believe that something external has direct access to your innermost self.

Through forgiveness then, the undoing of false beliefs in being caused by things outside of you, you gradually "close up" the exposed wounds, and the mind stops "bulging out" and returns to a "deflated" state, where you feel much safer and more protected. Fear diminishes and you feel like external things can no longer come into you. They can't access you because you are not on the battlefield, you are not an illusion or a body or an attackable thing.

Eventually with practice this should result in a "sealing up" of those psychological woulds, breaking down of those bridges of horizontal causation, and a growing sense of being surrounded by naturally protective walls of truth. Invulnerability increases and you feel more like you are "out of reach" of illusory attacks. You no longer believe the world CAN do anything to you, not even death or sickness.

You sort of, reabsorb into heaven, into God's womb, into a deeply immersive sense of safety, protection, harmlessness, integration, wholeness, peace and fearlessness. Because in spirit identification, in truth, you are actually unattackable and immortal. You resume your sense of being invulnerable because you see yourself as innocent and harmless. And the more you can feel this sense of innocence and safety, the less you feel like the world can even get anywhere near to what you are. And where there is perfect safety there is perfect peace.

"As long as belief in God and His Kingdom is assailed by ANY doubts in your minds, His perfect Accomplishment is NOT apparent to you. This is why you MUST be vigilant ON GOD'S BEHALF."

"It is only your awareness that NEEDS protection, because your BEING cannot be assailed. But a real sense of being CANNOT be yours while you are doubtful of what you ARE. THIS IS WHY VIGILANCE IS ESSENTIAL. Doubts ABOUT being MUST not enter your mind, or you CANNOT know what you are with certainty."

"The Kingdom is perfectly united and perfectly protected, and the ego will not prevail against it. Amen"

"Now are the lilies of his innocence untouched by guilt, and perfectly protected from the cold chill of fear and withering blight of sin alike."

"You always choose between your weakness and the strength of Christ in you."

"The strength of the Soul leaves no room for intrusions."

"The body's health is fully guaranteed because it is not limited by time, by weather or fatigue, by food and drink, or any laws you made it serve before. You need do nothing now to make it well, for sickness has become impossible. ... Yet this protection needs to be preserved by careful watching. If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgement or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick. Give instant remedy, should this occur, by not allowing your defensiveness to hurt you longer. Do not be confused about what must be healed, but tell yourself: "I have forgotten what I really am, For I mistook my body for myself. Sickness is a defence against the truth, But I am not a body. And my mind Cannot attack. So I can not be sick."