The only real choice you have, the only moment at which you are actually choosing between ego and God, is when you decide whether or not to accept the Atonement.

Here are your only choices:

A) I really did sin, and therefore every consequence of sin should happen and I deserve to die and I will make it happen.

or

B) I really did not sin in reality, nothing real has been threatened, God still finds me worthy, I am still innocent and nothing has happened.

This is your ONLY choice.

And this choice ONLY happens at the CLIMAX of a forgiveness process, a process of purification, in which you are undoing beliefs in death, punishment, fear, guilt and sin. You have to undo and PURGE all of that shit BEFORE you can even get to where you will be WILLING and able to accept some atonement.

If you imagine that being "in the ego" is like being in a dark warehouse, that warehouse contains shelf upon shelf of sin, guilt, fear, punishment, sickness, death. You have to find your way out of the dark and reach the exit. But before you can get to the exit, you have to most PAST all of these shelves of ego lies. You have to not believe any of them and clear them out of your way so that you can get to the exit.

The exit from the warehouse will take you INTO THE LIGHT, into Heaven, into the Atonement, into your INNOCENCE, but the ONLY way you can go through that door is through willingness to accept the truth is true, and choosing to admit that it is so. That nothing has happened and you are still innocent, that you are still as God created you. Then you step OUT of the warehouse of darkness INTO the light, and it is ONLY THEN that you have placed yourself back INTO the thought system of the Holy Spirit or God.

Whether or not sin is true, or whether the belief in sin is true or false, is THE PIVOTAL POINT at which you are deciding, whether you are allegiant to the ego, or allegiant to God. All of the prior steps of undoing fear and guilt and sickness and punishment etc are prerequisites but do not actually directly take you OUT of the ego thought system. They are steps TOWARDS it. They are you meandering around the warehouse in the dark trying to find the exit. All of these corrections and changes of belief and purification and releases and letting go and shifts in perception and so on are mere PREPARATION for exiting the building and becoming miraculous.

This is why when you apply forgiveness processes you MUST at some point take it ALL THE WAY to the atonement truth, OTHERWISE you are not completing the forgiveness and are falling short. You are actually STAYING IN the ego thought system UNLESS you TOTALLY EXIT through that door of accepting the atonement is true of you. And many people are doing exactly this - falling short of exiting the building, and instead lingering in various levels of denial and unconsciousness, with blocks to awareness still in place, not really undoing or looking at the unconscious belief in sin or the DEATH WISH which lurks in the darkness right in front of the doorway home.

This has to all be uprooted and dug out and undone and un-believed in PRIOR to reaching the exit, so that when you get to the exit you will no longer have any ties or objections or reasons of doubt or faith in the ego beliefs as to why you CANNOT exit, or why you don't want to, or why you cannot accept it is 100% true. It takes a lot of "work" to go through all the shit to uncover these layers of blocks to awareness, to really become literally AWARE of the truth. And only then, when you finally can SEE that it makes total sense that you MUST STILL BE INNOCENT because you DID NOT SIN in reality, only then are you actually making the choice between the ego and the Holy Spirit.

That's the only point where you're saying yes to God and no to the ego. It's also the point at which, as you exit, you become OPEN TO RECEIVE MIRACLES. This is because you now open up to accept that you CAN BE LOVED because you are worthy of it because you are still innocent. Only AFTER EXITING THE BUILDING do you step INTO THE LIGHT, and upon EXPOSURE to the light, now allow yourself to be LOVED BY GOD. And it is in this reunion, in this moment of becoming PART of the atonement itself, that you are actually willing to RECEIVE LOVE. And in your receiving of this love, THAT is how you receive a miracle and THAT is when you get healed. Because now you allow the love to love you and it heals you. If you believe sin is real then you are saying NO to love and are not receiving it.

THEN, you can take the healed part of your mind to others, to bring the atonement to others, and to SHARE and extend the miracles you've received - the love, the worthiness, to others, as part of the atonement plan. And you can do this whole process over and over again on any individual issue in order to keep accepting miracles upon miracles, until there is nothing left keeping you in the dark at all.

A collection of quotes from A Course in Miracles.

"Right-Mindedness neither exalts nor depreciates the mind of the miracle worker nor of the ****miracle receiver****. However, as a creative act, the miracle ****need not await the Right-Mindedness of the receiver. In fact, its purpose is to restore him TO his Right Mind.**** But it is essential that the miracle worker be in his Right Mind, or he will be unable to reestablish Right-Mindedness ****in someone else.****"

"All forms of not-Right-Mindedness are the result of refusal to accept the Atonement FOR YOURSELF. If the miracle worker DOES accept it, he places himself in the position to recognize that ****those who need to be healed are simply those who have NOT done so.****"

"The sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept Atonement himself. This means that he knows that mind is the only creative level, and that its errors ARE healed by the Atonement. Once he accepts this, HIS mind ****can only heal.**** By denying his mind any destructive potential, and reinstating its purely constructive powers, he has placed himself in a position where he ****can undo the level confusion of others****. The message which he then ****gives to others**** is the truth that THEIR MINDS are really similarly constructive, and that their own miscreations cannot hurt them. By affirming this, the miracle worker releases the mind from overevaluating its own learning device (the body), and restores the mind to its true position as the learner."

"Having offered love, only love can be received. It is in this that the teacher of God must trust. This is what is really meant by the statement that the one responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the Atonement for himself. The teacher of God is a miracle worker because ****he gives the gifts he has received****. Yet he must first accept them. He need do no more, nor is there more that he could do. By accepting healing ****he can give it.**** If he doubts this, let him remember Who gave the gift and Who received it. Thus is his doubt corrected."

"Yet love without trust is impossible, and doubt and trust cannot coexist. And hate must be the opposite of love, regardless of the form it takes. Doubt not the gift and it is impossible to doubt its result. This is the certainty that gives God's teachers the power to be miracle workers, for they have put their trust in Him."

"Prayer is the medium of miracles, not because God created perceptions, but because God created YOU. At the beginning of this course, we said that YOU are a miracle. Therefore, the miracle worker is a miracle NOT of his own creation."

"They meet IN ORDER to abolish the difference. At the beginning, since we are still in time, they come together on the basis of inequality of ability and experience. The aim of the teacher is to ****give them more of what is temporarily his.**** This process has all of the miracle conditions we referred to at the beginning. The teacher (or miracle worker) ****gives more to those who have less, bringing them closer to equality with him****, at the same time gaining for himself."

"Then let him turn within to his Eternal Guide, and let Him judge what the response should be. So is he healed, and ****in his healing is his pupil healed with him****. The sole responsibility of God's teacher is to accept the Atonement for himself. Atonement means correction, or the undoing of errors. When this has been accomplished, the teacher of God becomes a miracle worker by definition. His sins have been forgiven him, and he no longer condemns himself. How can he then condemn anyone? And ****who is there whom his forgiveness can fail to heal****?"

"Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, ****those who are sick do NOT love themselves****. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. ****If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick****. ****The task of the miracle-worker**** thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH. The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, ****the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs****, because that light IS theirs."

"The miracle worker is one who accepts my kind of denial and projection, unites his own inherent abilities to deny ****and project with mine, and imposes them back on himself and others****. This establishes the total lack of threat anywhere. ****Together we can then work**** for the real time of peace, which is Eternal."

"The miracle-worker begins by PERCEIVING light, and translates HIS perception into sureness by continually ****extending it****, and ACCEPTING ITS ACKNOWLEDGMENT. Its ****EFFECTS**** assure him IT IS THERE. The therapist does not heal; ****he LETS HEALING BE****. HE can point to darkness, but he CANNOT bring light OF HIMSELF, for light is NOT of him. But being FOR him, it MUST be ****for his patient****.

The Holy Spirit is the ONLY therapist. He makes healing PERFECTLY clear in ANY situation in which He is the Guide. The human therapist can only ****LET HIM FULFILL HIS FUNCTION****. He needs no help for this. He WILL tell you EXACTLY what to do, ****to help ANYONE He sends to you FOR help****, and will speak to him through you, IF YOU DO NOT INTERFERE. Remember that you ARE choosing a guide for helping, and the wrong choice will NOT help. But remember also that THE RIGHT ONE WILL. Trust Him, for help is His function, and He is of God.

****As you awaken other minds TO Him through HIM****, and not yourself, you will understand that you are not obeying the laws of this world, but that the laws you ARE obeying WORK."

"I heard one voice because I had learned that learning is attained BY teaching. I understood that I COULD NOT ATONE FOR MYSELF ALONE."On the one hand, we're asked to accept atonement for ourselves. This is because our own mind needs to accept God's truth and become sane, in and of itself. But the fact is that you also share everything with others. Your mind is plugged into other minds. So that now means that you can't accept your own atonement, unless you're also willing accept other people's atonement.

I could say, well, I find myself to be innocent and holy. But if I can't also have that same perspective about EVERYONE, then I can't really claim it either. This is due to the Golden Rule, that what is true of me is true of the whole sonship. Either both of us are innocent, or both of us are guilty.

"Now need you but to learn that BOTH of you are innocent OR guilty."It's not possible to see myself as innocent while seeing someone else as guilty. This means that secretly I find myself to be guilty as well, and am now projecting sin onto another in order to deny that I find myself sinful. I now see the guilt seemingly outside myself in another as if it applies to them and not me. This is how the ego always thinks in a dissociated way.

Nothing true can apply ONLY to myself. Truth has to apply to everyone at once. The truth is that whatever applies to me applies to everyone, because we were all created equal in God. If I believe in guilt I will find both myself and others to be guilty and will see a guilty world. If I truly and genuinely believe in my own innocence, it can't be that I simultaneously hate others and find them to be sinners. No one can love and hate at the same time. So you can't accept atonement just for yourself and leave everyone out of it. Just as you can't be in holy relationship while excluding anyone.

Even though I'm tasked with accepting atonement "for myself", being responsible for using my own free will to choose it, this actually means that I have to be willing to let it APPLY to everyone simultaneously. I cannot in fact accept it for MYSELF at all, if I am not willing for this same truth to be true everywhere. If I fail to recognize its universal application, I have not learned it. Only by SHARING the atonement with the ENTIRE sonship, can I accept it for myself.

This means I have to find EVERYONE to be innocent and accept the atonement FOR everyone. I can't JUST find myself to be innocent and leave others dangling. The truth I claim for myself HAS to be also claimed for everyone. I have to see the holiness of christ in everyone at the same time otherwise I can't see it in myself. And I cannot be true to or know myself without being true to the known reality of everyone's true nature. Only ego would think it can accept atonement exclusively, because it wants everything at the expense of everyone else.

"Atonement as a Lesson in Sharing. Atonement is for all, because it is the way to UNDO the belief that ANYTHING is for you ALONE."

"Holiness MUST be shared, for therein lies everything that makes it holy."

"To the Holy Spirit, it is the fundamental law of sharing, by which you give what you value in order to keep it in your OWN minds."

"Redemption is recognized ONLY by sharing it."

So yes on the one hand, since we "rule" our own mind, which God created in us individually along with our soul, our natural condition is that we are ALSO fused intimately with every child of God. You CANNOT accept the atonement "just for" yourself. It is absolutely impossible and runs completely opposite to the nature of love and of all things God.

The atonement is a reflection of heaven, and of heaven's laws. Those laws are laws of absolute sharing, equality and union. You are literally in and like all your brothers, and thus there is an aspect of you which is completely shared with them all. The entire sonship is your self, just as you are the christ along with everyone. For YOU to accept atonement means, in effect, that you AS THE SONSHIP is accepting it FOR the sonship.

"My mission was simply to UNITE the Will of the Sonship WITH the Will of the Father by being aware of the Father's Will myself."

"Peace be unto you who rest in God, and in whom the whole Sonship rests."

"Every decision is made for the WHOLE SONSHIP, directed in and out, and influencing a constellation larger than anything you ever dreamed of."

"What you give through Him is for the whole Sonship, NOT FOR PART OF IT."

"To heal, then, is to correct perception in your brother AND yourself by SHARING THE HOLY SPIRIT WITH HIM. This places you both WITHIN the Kingdom and restores ITS wholeness in your minds."

"The Kingdom of Heaven (the sonship/one son/christ) IS you. What else BUT you did the Creator create, and what else but you IS His Kingdom? This is the whole message of the Atonement"

You see, you are not just you. You are also everyone else. All your siblings in the sonship are part of you and you of them. We are all together a collection of individual souls who share absolutely everything with each other openly. And so what applies to you applies to everyone and includes everyone. Everyone is included in your self and in your mind, just as you are included in them. And so you CANNOT do anything alone!

The ego is the idea of being alone, separated off, independent of or isolated from others. It's the idea of being "only you" and "not others". It's the rejection of your union with your brothers and an attempt to confine and limited yourself to ONLY what appears to be your individual self. It's an attempt not to share anything with anyone. And it is OUT of this state of exclusivity and imprisonment that you are rising INTO a state of TOTAL sharing and inclusion. So you have to learn that you ARE the whole sonship and everything you do is for everyone.

"One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth."

This doesn't in a any way violate the free will of others. You accepting atonement for "yourself" does in SOME WAY and in some part, accept it FOR others and gives it to them. It lifts them up to the degree they're willing to allow it. You becoming lighter lightens everyone's load. "When I am healed I am not healed alone."

Just as Jesus accepted the atonement for himself AND FOR everyone, this did lift everyone into light, but each individual was only lifted to the degree they allowed themselves to be included in it. Not that Jesus didn't GIVE it to everyone through unlimited sharing, just that they did not full RECEIVE it.

As EACH of us accepts atonement truth for ourselves, we ARE radiating it throughout the sonship and every mind is illuminated by it. This is the same thing that happens when you work miracles. They can touch people far beyond your awareness because we are all joined. We're sort of like a network of individuals. We each can raise up to the highest heights which pulls everyone upward as well, but each has to also be willing to be pulled to fully embrace what is offered them.

So while your "only responsibility" is to accept atonement for yourself, YOUR SELF is not JUST yours. You must accept it for everyone otherwise you cannot have it. "To have all, give all to all." The way by which you share atonement with everyone reflects the holographic nature of the Kingdom, in which everyone has everything simultaneously because every individual is the whole. Atonement, just like miracles, are holographically connected and must be shared in order to be experienced for yourself.

"The purpose of the Atonement is to restore everything TO you. (That is, to restore the awareness. Later clarification.) You had everything when you were created, just as everyone did. Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share MY inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and MUST join the GREAT CRUSADE to correct it. The slogan for this Crusade is "Listen, Learn, and DO."

"As peace extends from deep inside yourself to embrace all the Sonship and give it rest"

"For it is the complete equality of the Atonement in which salvation lies."

"My only gift to you is to help you make the same decision FOR YOURSELF. The will for this decision is the will to SHARE it, because the decision itself IS the decision to share. It is MADE BY GIVING, and is therefore the one act of mind that resembles true creation."

"Let the Holy Spirit remind you always of His fairness, and let me teach you how to share it with your brothers. How else can the chance to claim it for yourself be given you?"

"You who share His Life must share it to KNOW it, for sharing IS knowing."

"He leaves you no one OUTSIDE yourself, alone WITHOUT you. And so He gives you what is yours, because your Father would have you share it WITH him"

"I desire this holy instant for myself that I may SHARE it with my brother, whom I love. It is not possible that I can have it WITHOUT him, nor he without me. Yet it is WHOLLY possible for us to SHARE it NOW."

"To have faith is to heal. It is the sign that you HAVE accepted the Atonement for yourself, and would therefore share it. By faith, you OFFER the gift of freedom from the past, which you have RECEIVED.""Salvation IS His Will BECAUSE you share it. NOT for you alone, but for the Self which IS the Son of God."

"This is the light which brings your peace of mind to other minds, to share it and be glad that they are one with you and with themselves."

"Such is your mission now. For God entrusts the giving of His gifts to all who have received them. He has shared His joy with you. And now you go to share it with the world."

"Forgiveness shows us that Godʹs Will is one, and that we share It.""And I accept this vision in its name, both for myself and for the world as well."

"And I, who would be saved, would make it mine, to be the way I live within a world that needs salvation, and that will be saved as I accept Atonement for myself"

God has one law. It is very simple.

God can only create in his own likeness. He doesn't know anything else. He creates beings - sons or souls - who are all identical to Him, and therefore are identical to each other. What applies to each one of them, applies to all of them equally. What is true of one, can be said to be exactly true of all of them.

This sets up "The Golden Rule", which is the primary law of God's creation, that everything applies the same to everyone, everywhere, at all times. The law simply states that what applies to you applies exactly the same to all brothers.

This law is always in effect. It is permanent. You cannot escape it. The law is in effect whether you like it or not. The law is in effect regardless of whether you are awake or asleep, aware of Heaven or suffering in the dream of spacetime. The law is the truth.

Our friend "the ego" is nothing other than the attempt to DENY that the law is in effect. It is an attempt to be outside of the law. The ego is nothing other than the belief that something DIFFERENT applies to one son versus another.

If the law of God means UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, since all sons are loved equally, then the ego means CONDITIONAL LOVE or "special favor", in which some sons are to be treated differently and unequally from others. Special love is a lack of love and so the ego is a thought system of lacking equality and unconditionality.

When you are trying to be "in the ego", you are in denial of the law. That doesn't mean the law stops applying. Denying that it always applies is suicidal. What happens when you try to operate outside of the law is that you will hurt yourself. You will believe that you can do something to others that you yourself escape the consequences of, and yet you will not escape those consequences.

When you do not treat your brother as a perfect identical equal, you will think you can get away with murder by getting away with attacking them and avoiding the effects. But you will not escape the effects. What you attempt to do to him you WILL do to yourself, because the law is always functioning. You cannot attack without being attacked. You cannot treat someone in a special way without withdrawing from love. You cannot attempt to hurt without hurting yourself.

The Golden Rule - the one law of God - also applies in the dream in terms of bodies, sickness, and death. The Course teaches clearly that if you show your brother a physical body which is sick, you are accusing him of sin and are attacking both of you. When you use the body for attack it becomes attacked and weak and sick and dead. This is a consequence of denying the law of God.

Simply, what applies to you always applies to others. So when you go into attack, attack is the idea that you can be different to others and have special treatment. This differences drives a wedge of separation between you and your brother and attempts to assert that what applies to them does not apply to you, or that you can attack without being attacked. This is the basis of all projection, where you try to project blame onto another as if to say "that is true of you, but not true of me".

When you do this, you are in denial of the law, and the law is still functioning, and so you will experience a split mind and are attacking yourself. You cannot cause your brother to be treated separately without treating yourself separately. Separation comes BETWEEN you. The body comes BETWEEN you as a separation device. You cannot have something apply only to him and not yourself.

Sick bodies are accusers. When you try to make your body sick you are accusing your brother of sin. That means that in your attempt to "make plans for him" you inevitably end up hurting yourself. You cannot accuse him of attack without being attacked. And so as you try to make out that your brother is a sinner, you are accusing yourself. It applies to you as it applies to him. And this hurts you. You will experience the consequences. It seems to be to an unfair consequence or something you did not want, but you literally did it to yourself. Whatever you try to do to another, you WILL do to yourself.

The Golden Rule also works in your FAVOR when you comply with it and recognize it and work WITH it. Recognizing it is the secret to salvation. That means you must be willing to have the truth be the same for everyone, all are treated equal and no-one is special. And that means moving into unconditional love. Here, the Golden Rule actually supports you and helps you, because it ensures that giving and receiving are one, therefore as you treat others with love you receive love. As you give miracles, you receive miracles.

When you acknowledge the law is in effect and you COMPLY with it, it ensures that you will be treated with unconditional love, that you will have access to sharing the entire treasure of God's creation, and that you will recognize your brother as your identical equal. "Healing is a thought in which two minds perceive their oneness and become glad". This means that the two minds recognize the law, know it to be true, see that they are identical children of God, and celebrate their equality.

A Course in Miracles is entirely based around this law. All of its concepts about how what you do to others you to do yourself, how giving and receiving are one, how you attack the body, how you become sick, how you must demonstrate a BODY THAT IS FREE FROM ATTACK, and how you must overcome death, is all based on the law of God - the Golden Rule. This is why Jesus says that either everything lives or everything is dead.

When the rule applies and you acknowledge equality, you are recognizing that anything God creates must be like him, and since He is life, everything He creates must live. And that means ALL that He creates is alive forever. And in this acknowledgement you are acknowledging that YOU are alive and cannot die, any more than anyone else can. Acknowledging life is the resurrection and in the resurrection the curriculum ends, because it's there, in the atonement, that you acknowledge and receive the unconditional love that comes from ALIGNING with the law of God. Accepting the truth.

When you comply with the law, everything is peaceful in Heaven. When you oppose the law, you make yourself suffer. Denying the law is ego and is suicide. Accepting the law is heavenly and protects you perfectly in eternal life.

The idea that the world is just a dream, may sound very simple. But to fully and completely embrace it is a very tall order. If the world is just a dream, it changes your ENTIRE relationship to everything, to all people and object and events and places. Every single happening is framed differently, every interaction has a different meaning, and every piece of physical matter is up for question.

To accept this idea intellectually is very easy. It makes a lot of sense. If you can see the logic behind it, that we made this world as an opposite to God, and is therefore not real, you can accept that as making sense.

But to live it, to deep dive into it, to apply it everywhere and at all times, to remember it in the midsts of all happenings, to use it in all relationships, and to completely uproot all previous beliefs is long term challenge.

For me, the seemingly logical and clear conclusion that the world is not real, has become so refined and polished that I can see nothing to contradict it. Like, it makes total sense on paper. However, I still have a vast repository of "other beliefs" which have been convinced otherwise over time.

Beliefs in bodies being real. Beliefs in being a body. Beliefs in other people being bodies. Beliefs in events happening. Beliefs in seriousness and importance. Beliefs in value and priorities and hierarchies of difficulty. Beliefs in justified reactions and ego emotions and normality and human nature. All of those things scream that the world is real.

So what I find is that although I understand it in theory, my mind and beliefs still are quite uncertain about this idea. I go towards it a little more only to find other beliefs springing up into awareness saying, "but what about....". And every SINGLE one of those beliefs is rooted in the belief that the world is reality. The basic opposite premise of the dream. Each one of them signals and testifies that this is not just a dream.

So the mind then finds itself pulled in two directions. One direction pulls toward the seemingly glowing new "idea" or light, that it's true the world is just a dream and nothing is happening and no-one has ever sinned. And the other direction pulls towards the old worn out darkness of nightmares and hell, that there is sin everywhere and no hope for salvation.

"Some of your greatest advances YOU have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats YOU have evaluated as success."

"If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind. I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching."

I will go towards the light of the truth, and the ego mind will go into doubt, which is fear. It will say, but what about this, and what about that.... there will be an uncertainty and a "not sure about this" and a "can this really be true?". There is a DIS-BELIEF.

"Ultimately, space is as meaningless as time. Both are merely beliefs. The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief."

And the fact is that EVERY single opposition to the truth has to be uprooted and corrected and dispelled in order to have NO OBJECTIONS to accepting the atonement. If there is even a slight reason why you might not trust the truth, or suspect that it is false, or have a slight confusion about whether it is true or false, then you will not whole-heartedly accept the salvation it offers. Atonement can only be fully accepted through TOTAL willingness and certainty.

So I keep "naturally" checking and re-checking, looking at what the course says, reminding myself of its facts, re-considering the possibility that I might be mistaken about this new idea. I can't help but be "open minded" about the possibility that it is WRONG, because my ego already believes it is wrong and this pulls me into entertaining its possibility. And until I am wholly certain of its truth, which has to run VERY deeply and fully, this will keep happening.

"Until this distinction is made, however, the vacillations between free and imprisoned will cannot but continue."

These vacillations are to be expected for anyone who is attempting to awaken from the dream. If the world IS a dream and we have been believing it is NOT a dream, but a reality, then our entire way of believing and thinking and perceiving is going to have to go through a 180-degree transformation. Or as Jesus puts it, the upside-down thought system has to be turned right-side up, and that means nothing short of a complete reversal of your thought system and "world view".

Reversing your thought system WILL entail nothing less than realizing that everything you thought was what you did NOT want, you want. Everything you thought was evil, is good. Everything you thought was good, is evil. And all ego beliefs which claim a lie are actually claiming something else. It requires a tremendous sorting out of what is TRUE and what is FALSE, and in this endeavor you WILL be mistaken throughout the process. Which is why it requires a little willingness to consider the possibility that something else might be true, beyond what you currently believe.

I approach and I retreat. I get closer to accepting and then the ego fear pops up. I use the confusion as an opportunity to find more clarity, and then advance forward again. Each time becoming a little and more convinced, not just in theory but in practice, in direct experience, of the world's unreality. Because if what ACIM says is true, then "awareness of dreaming" and "the body is a dream" must become my new reality, before I can go home to God.

One thing is for sure, the road home to God is winding with spluttering false starts and lurches and gradual progress."I can but choose to wander off a while, and then return. Your loving Voice will always call me back, and guide my feet aright.""He will return and go still farther, or perhaps step back a while and then return again."

"Let us return the dream he gave away unto the dreamer, who perceives the dream"

"The Second Coming is merely the return of sense."

Know this. It is not possible to objectively and neutrally try to determine what the truth is, using the ego, without avoiding the truth.

There is no 'innocently seeking for the answer'. There is no mode that you can be in where you are not in some way contributing to the situation.

So either you are seeking the ego's truth, which makes the problem worse, or you are accepting God's truth, which undoes the problem. There is no other choice.

There is no time where you can just be neutrally looking at the situation and working on finding an answer, as though that 'activity' isn't actually a part of the problem, or that it is having no effect on the situation. You are choosing for or against God all the time.

This is why in quantum physics the heisenberg principle shows that if you observe something you change it. The ego mind is not capable of neutrality, it is only capable of PROJECTING and then 'perceiving' what it projected (projection makes perception).

There are no neutral thoughts. And that means, there are no neutral BELIEFS. Beliefs are thoughts or collections of thoughts. Attitudes.

Either you believe in the ego's truth, which is a lie, or you believe in God's truth.

Knowing you cannot 'deal' with the problem without making it worse, which truth do you choose? Do you keep trying to solve a problem, by adding to it, or do you step back and detach and surrender?

If someone told you that you couldn't go into the water to save a drowning animal without disturbing the water such that it would seal the animal's fate, what would you do?

Every attempt you make to solve ego problems adds to them.

There has to be a better way.

Here's another angle on the problem of regarding ACIM as "non-duality."

In ACIM we're told that God is a creator, and has created sons. You are one of those sons, which means you are a child of God. It means God is your parent. God is the CAUSE of you, and you are an EFFECT. In the separation from God, or "fall of man", there was a rebellion against God being your parent. The sons of God rejected God's causation of them and wanted to reinvent/create themselves.

They developed a problem with God's authority. The wanted to have power over God and to be his equal, instead of being his child. They did not want to be secondary creations, they wanted to be primary. They did not want to be an effect of him, they wanted to be "free from his influence".

This then led to the making of a world of bodies and egos where we would try to reinvent ourselves and deifne what we are, without God. But this means that in order to wake up to reality, to become "one with God", to experience oneness and truth, you have to actually return to a role and function where you are SECOND to God.

It is not about returning to being first, or primary, or God's equal, or having the same function as God. It is not about you going to the top of the mountain and having nothing above you.

In order to get out of hell you have to undo your problem with authority. You can only have a problem with authority if in truth you actually are BELOW God and God is GREATER than you, so that there might be grounds for wanting to overthrow his authority over you.

"recognition of the fact that the Father is GREATER."

If you subscribe to a non-duality idea of reality, where you claim to return to oneness, where you claim to be God, where you see yourself as not a fully-created separate being or a "child of God", and where you do not acknowledge God as your father, you are missing a HUGE portion of ACIM's teaching.

ACIM doesn't teach that you are going to just become the oneness and be God and rule reality. It says that you need to accept God as your source, receive your inheritance from him, that you are only what HE has created you to be, that your only function is to EXTEND him, and that you will forever be an EFFECT of him.

This idea of being an effect of God, second to God, is absolutely core in ACIM's metaphysics. There MUST BE a created second being, a child of God, a son of God, in order for there to have ever been a separation ie authority problem in the first place. There could be no rebellion without you being LESS than God, in a sense.

So non-duality doesn't usually accomodate this. Nor does traditional ideas of "its all oneness". It doesn't usually acknowledge that God has created anything, that he has children, that YOU have a parent, or that there is something BIGGER AND GREATER THAN YOU.

But ACIM is telling you that the only way for you to find salvation and return to reality is to accept that God is your father, NOT your equal. You cannot regain your inheritance without accepting that you inherited it FROM God BECAUSE he is your parent. And you cannot resume your role and function in reality as co-creator without acknowledging that God is the FIRST CAUSE and you are SECOND. You are a CO-CREATOR not the PRIMARY creator. God came first.

"Think not HE wills to bind you, Who has made you co-creator of the universe along with Him."

Since for example in Adviata non-duality usually means "there is no second", it is TOTALLY incompatible with ACIM's teaching. It does not acknowledge God having a child, or of you BEING a child. OR that your ultimate role and maximal experience of reality is going to entail you being what SOMEONE ELSE wants you to be. That you are AS GOD created you to be, not what "you chose".

It thus requires humility to accept that God is greater than you and that in ultimate reality you are going to return to a position in which you are NOT FIRST, you are not the prime creator, you are not the all-encompassing source of reality, and you DO NOT MAKE THE RULES.

Non-duality rarely suggests any compatibility with this idea of being a CHILD of God, or of there being any grounds for an authority problem, or a necessity for its undoing. Usually it points to the dissolution of your self, the erasing of God's CHILD, and some kind of lofty return to you being "only God". As if you are the oneness and you are the ultimate. YOU ARE NOT!!!!

God is first, you are second. That is what acceptance of the atonement means. God is your father and he is greater than you, and you're going to have to "suck it up" and accept it instead of wanting to be the central figure and star of the show. You are a secondary being. Not less than God but also not greater, and not equal. You are not equal to ultimate reality. You are a part within it.

To recognize this is to recognize that ACIM cannot be non-duality because it has to accommodate SONS OF GOD in order to accommodate the authority problem AND its proper undoing. You cannot wake up to reality without accepting that you are AN EFFECT of a creator other than yourself, that you did not create yourself, that you are not "God" in this sense, and that your function is to PASS ON what you have RECEIVED from him.

"The extension of God's Being is the Soul's only function."

What you are is given by God and decided by God. You will have to be willing to accept there is a creator GREATER THAN YOU if you want to experience the truth. As such non-duality is generally speaking a problem with the authority of God, because it positions you AS God or AS his equal, and this is inappropriate. It suggests even in some cases that God is dreaming and making death. To say "I am God" is the arrogance of the ego.

Unless you can accept that reality contains you as a second-level creation, you are not listening to what A Course in Miracles is saying. And you are then missing out on the beautiful relaltionship which comes from the recognition that you HAVE A REAL PARENT. Someone who is in fact literally protecting you always, is maintaining you forever, and is making sure that your innocence is permanently guaranteed FOR you. This is not all about "me me me" self-centered non-dualtiy "I will be God" garbage.

There is a mistake that many of us make when it comes to ACIM, where we seem to think we should change our minds about the world in order to find peace.

It seems like the Course is saying we shouldn't change the world, or the body, or our lives, and therefore we should only change our mind.

And this leads people to believe that the world, and the body, are going to continue being filled with war and conflict and disease, but that somehow we are going to find some kind of 'peace' or safe-haven within ourselves which allows us to not be upset about it.

But this really is an ego perspective. The ego has made the world be filled with war and disaster and disease. The ego has created the perspective that causes and power are outside of you beyond yourself. The ego has made it seem like it is natural for us to go around having the world do stuff to us, and that we just need to find a way to let it do stuff to us without it upsetting us. We are so used to the world being broken that we don't know what it could be like.

What we don't realize is that the only reason the world or our body seem to contain war and disease is precisely because we are at war with ourselves, and are attacking ourselves, and are using the projected dream of suffering against ourselves. And we are the ones who are putting it out there. We, with our powerful minds, are projecting a world of suffering.

So I think it's a gross mistake to say, well, if I just recoil from this harsh world and go into hiding and be a nice well-behaved Course student and keep to myself and be forgiving, then I will be able to *survive* better, which is really part of the ego's survival strategy.

We don't realize that all the stuff out there in the world, and all of the things wrong in the body, are ALL COMING FROM US.

So if we truly change, if we truly take back our power, if we truly access and accept the mind's CAUSAL POWER over everything, recognizing that we are the dreamer of this fricking dream, this allows us to STOP making a world of disease, to STOP creating sickness, to STOP war, and to stop making the world real.

We have made the world seem real through mistaken perceptions, and then we are reacting to those mistaken perceptions with an effort of being forgiving or trying to find peace, all the while keeping those perceptions of the world being real intact. So then we think, well, it seems like the Course is telling us to just focus on changing our mind and this won't have anything to do with the world.

Is sure as fuck will have something to do with the world because the world is coming from YOU. You are expressing the world. You are contributing to the world. As Jesus says in the urtext (edited out), your mind is powerful enough to create planets. Planets! And who do you think made this one? ;-)

So no. It's not our job to figure out how we can stay INSIDE an illusion of the world existing objectively on its own, in such a way that it has power and causality over us, while simultaneously trying to be at peace. It is not our job to learn to live with sickness. It is not our job to try to be okay with suffering and war and conflict.

How can anyone accept death, as though it is real and allowed and normal and natural? Death is a state of non-acceptance. It is the physical expression of not accepting the truth. You can't be IN it at the same time as accepting the truth. You can't be IN it at the same time as being all nice and peaceful and detached. Try it!

If you want true peace, you need to realize that you are POWERFUL, that you are not at the effect of a DREAM WORLD that is not only not even real, but is itself ONLY an effect and not a cause. There is NO CAUSE in this world at all, and you are the ONLY cause, so how exactly does that add up to tolerating sickness, allowing the body to continue to suffer?

If you are masterful you don't care what's going on in the dream, or in the body, or whether there's sickness, as such, because you know it's not real. And it's not affecting you. But as Jesus says, until every single brother has been woken up, your awakening is INCOMPLETE. We need to ALL wake up and all be causal and all come to agree that the world does not exist, and then it will literally disappear, because it does not have the power to stop us.

There is nothing you cannot do. There is nothing your power, shared with God, cannot accomplish. This is the only way that you can have freedom. Freedom means there are no limitations. This is the freedom that God has given you forever. Freedom from all limitations. Freedom from death. Freedom from sickness. Freedom even from a DREAM of death. Freedom from a world of death. Freedom in all ways at all levels.

Masterfully you could allow sickness to seem to remain in the body, but only in the knowing that you put it there, on purpose, and that it is only there because you say so, and you do not suffer from it because you have mastery over it, and you know it is not real. But that doesn't mean you will therefore just 'put up with' sickness remaining in the body, or that you can't do anything about it.

Many people who have woken up have experienced instantaneous healing of all sicknesses that their body exhibited before, things for which there was no known cure. Why do you need sickness? Why do you need to keep it around when you're done with buying into the ego completely? It cannot stay when it has no purpose. As Jesus says, sickness will disappear when the purpose for which you needed it no longer exists. What purpose can it serve other than to defend against the truth? And if you're not defending against the truth, how are you going to create or sustain sickness?

You are immortal.

It was only about a year ago that I finally 'came out' as a bisexual person and owned it after 49 years in a dark closet. Since then I've been exploring and expressing and working on more deeply coming to terms with this and living it more - being more visible.

But one aspect that has been nagging in the background is a fear that I will be attacked and judged and hurt by others about this. Largely this is based on an awareness of what people can be like, especially the bigoted angry people, and what's happened to others in brutal attacks and judgement.

I didn't realize for a while that I was taking this position, or playing at being a victim, or that it was even something I needed to do some forgiveness about. But then I became aware of it. So how does one forgive such a thing, where we're at the mercy of the world and afraid of what it might do to us? Safety is a primary concern of everyone and all of us can relate to feeling afraid of being hurt in some way.

I first had to recognize that I was even in a state of "not peace" about it, that I was having worries and thoughts about it, and this was not normal. It's quite easy to just "have" those thoughts and feelings and not even have the awareness to step outside of it or notice that it's a problem or something to even work on. In that mindset, even the idea that there's something wrong can be out of awareness and we just go through the motions of suffering.

Having recognised something is bothering me, I then start to look at it. What's going on here, who is doing what, what is this based on, and am I willing to explore more honestly what's really happening?

As I looked at this I remembered that if I'm immortal I can't really be attacked, so if I believe I'm attackable that's a mistake on my part. That cuts through a lot of crap. Nothing real can be threatened, so I must be believing something faulty if I think people can attack me. That gives some quick relief.

Then I started to notice that I believe other people are going to do something to me, have power over me, hurt me, judge me, attack me, maybe even violence. But then I had to notice, who am I in that scenario, what role am I playing? It becomes clear that I'm seeing myself as a victim, being victimised by others. They're doing something to me, and I'm afraid of it, afraid of being attacked and judged.

When I stayed in the viewpoint that people are going to do something threatening, I couldn't see an option other than to fantasise about how I might try to stand up to them, become angry at them, give them a speech, have to get into a fight, or otherwise keep the belief in being victimised while trying to fend them off. But that was like a closed loop of suffering and the cracks were starting to show.

It's always valuable to remember that nothing in the world is doing anything to me, no-one out there is the cause of me, other people don't cause me or have power over me, and I cannot be affected or changed by anything because I am immortal. So where does that leave the victim role?

I saw that I am positioning myself as a victim for some reason, and setting people up in my mind as attackers to play a role, so that I can get some kind of payoff. And what's that? To have a reason to find them guilty of something. To justify anger on my part or to reinforce defenses. If they were to do anything to me, I would be justified in revenge, and blame, and scapegoating.

So then again this recognition that I'm actually scapegoating comes in. I'm using these people and actually want them to be attacking me, am framing them as attackers, so that I can take the opportunity to have them look like they're the ones sinning, so that I can take advantage of their guilt and shove some of my own guilt in there with it. If they do something to me I can happily project my own guilt onto them, mix it in with their guiltiness, and get rid of it.

In other words, being a victim boils down to wanting to be attacked in order to get a payoff of being able to take advantage of the attacker and project my own guilt onto them. In effect, by becoming the face of innocence, the innocent victim, I can get away with saying "brother at your hand I die", and am willing to suffer and be hurt and die for it, seemingly a small price to pay if it means I can use these attackers to get rid of my guilt.

"Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die."

So then this reveals the basic dynamic of projecting and blaming. I first attack myself, I make myself guilty for some reason, I then find someone willing to play the role of attacker/sinner, I bait them and want them to attack me through fantasies of suffering, I hope they'll do it while pretending to be afraid of them doing it, and if they go through with it I'll have a great opportunity to blame them and shove my self-inflicted guilt onto them. Yay.

So there's that. And that has to be unraveled and taken back. Once you see what you're doing it becomes obvious. I fear being attacked for "seeming to be gay" in any way, based on seeming "proof of sin" that this does happen in society, reinforcing a victim role, so that I can hopefully be attacked and get rid of some guilt in the process. So I'm really using these people as scapegoats so that I can benefit.

What I then have to look at or ask is, why am I projecting guilt, and how or why am I making myself guilty in the first place? Are these people really the ones who are denying me, attacking me, judging me, not accepting me, OR ... could it be that I am the one who is attacking me, judging me, not accepting me? Maybe it really is that I am the one who is "not okay with" me being the way that I am, and the fantasies of other people attacking me for it are really the way that I'm using my own mind to attack myself.

The insight from this is that, I really need to more fully own who and what I am (as God created me, transcendent of body/sex roles), allow myself the guiltless freedom, and accept myself, and if I were to do this I would be completely unconcerned with what anyone else might try to do to me.

If I am centered and solid in knowing myself, and fully owning being myself, not only will other people's attempted attacks be correctly viewed as "calls for love" on their part - a way that they attack themselves, but also I'll not take it personally because it won't resonate with an unhealed guilt within myself.

And probably, if I own and am at peace with myself, I will give off peace-vibes, and other people will not feel drawn to attack me for it anyway. Because really an attitude of "I should be punished for this, please attack me" is an energetic and psychological invitation broadcast to everyone if I'm not okay with myself. A temptation asking others to fulfil the role I expect of them.

In effect then, the real issue I/we have is that we are not being entirely true to ourselves, are not fully accepting ourselves, are not granting ourselves absolute freedom, are guilting ourselves and accusing ourselves of sins and shames and guilts, and this puts us into an insecure position. We then seek to problem-solve this in a faulty way by projecting the insecurities onto others, asking them to play roles in which they do to us what we are already doing to ourselves, so that we can pretend not to be doing it to ourselves.

I find and have found then, that my real challenge is the forgiveness of myself, the undoing of my own self-inflicted guilts and shames, and the need for taking full responsibility for who and what I am. If I become fully aligned with and on-the-side-of myself in terms of acceptance and allowing, I won't need to play the victim role or imagine how people would do things to me. And thus I will take away the self-threatening mental activities that were causing fear. When you have no guilt about yourself, nothing anyone does can target you.

Because ultimately we really just are using our own disowned power against ourselves, which turns into a projected indirect form of self-threat, which produces a fear reaction. I was doing this all to myself, and that's what the "secret of salvation" reveals.

Coming to recognize full responsibility for "I have done this to myself" leads to the miracle of healing and to freedom. If you are free to be as you are, then you don't invent or interpret people attacking you for it, and can walk in peace. Personally I still have to work on this some more, it's a work in progress, but at least I can now see the way out by recognising what was the way in. Know Thyself is what 'pride' should be about, and not a victimy disowning and projecting of guilt onto fictional attackers.

"And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."

"Only the self-accused condemn."

"I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts."

"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes."

"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are. As you perceive the harmlessness in them, they will accept your holy will as theirs. And what was seen as fearful now becomes a source of innocence and holiness."