There is a fundamental difficulty in choosing anything in this world. Everything in this world lacks everything else. Everything has taken a side, has separated itself off, has made itself different, and does not have what other things have. This means that nothing is whole, nothing has everything, and nothing is perfect.

There is a fiction perpetrated that suggests you can have it all, get it all, win everything, find the best, be the best, choose the best option, be on a perfect diet, get the perfect body, etc. These are all make-believe, achieve a dream, conquer the world etc.

The separation even applies to colors. Red lacks green, blue lacks orange, and yellow lacks purple. In order to get one color you have to lose its opposite. Picking one color denies aspects which other colors have. So none of the colors are the perfect whole divine color. And you can drive yourself up the wall trying to choose the best one.

So then as you're trying to choose between options, you find yourself in a state of paralysis. You seek to make the perfect choice, the best choice, and to entirely win and succeed in whichever choice to make. But the truth is that whichever thing you choose, will lack something. Whatever option to take, it's going to be defective and limited and lacking.

This drives you nuts, when you're trying to decide what is the best course of action, or the right thing to buy, or the most appropriate selection, or whether to do one thing or another. Both options appeal with equal potential, and with equal lack. Neither of them is completely ideal. So then most of the time you end up throwing your hands in the air and "settling" for whichever one seems the least offensive. Or whichever one seems to have more pros than cons.

I'll just go with this one. I'll settle for that one. I guess this one will do. That one's probably good enough. So then you learn that in this world you usually have to lower your standards, be willing to accept that everything is limited, be okay with scarcity and sacrifice, and realize that every single choice is a compromise. You cannot get anything without losing something. That's how it's all set up.

Some people will have higher standards and will try to fine-tune the selection process. They will have in their minds the idealistic idea that some choices are actually completely perfect. That you can win without losing. That you can gain without loss. That you can get without having to give. And much of society and industry is geared towards trying to maximize the "return on investment". To get as much of what seems perfect and ideal, with as little loss as possible. There's an art to it, but it can never succeed.

If you are perfectionistic, thus, usually because you see yourself as imperfect and are trying to find what you think you don't have, you'll find this familiar. It drives you nuts trying to ideally look for the absolute best possible outcome, the most amazing toy, the completely perfect choice. It literally can make you more insane by expecting, or rather misunderstanding, that the world has the capability of offering you something that is whole and complete. It can't.

You will feel far more at ease and sane about your interactions and goals in the world if you can recognize that, fundamentally, all physical matter is a state of partiality. It's based on separation, so everything has only a small portion of the whole. Each item is lacking something that the other items have. If you go for the TV with the bigger speakers you lose out on the TV with the cool remote. You can't win everything. You can't have it all.

If you can accept that every choice in the world falls short, every option is incomplete, every possible outcome is not ideal, and realize this is just how a world of separation must be, then you can stop fighting with it or setting yourself up for disappointment. As jesus says in the course, "the world has disappointed you since time began." That's because everything it promises, it fails to deliver. Everything it gives you, it takes away.

"The world you see is merciless indeed, unstable, cruel, unconcerned with you, quick to avenge and pitiless with hate. It gives but to rescind, and takes away all things that you have cherished for a while. No lasting love is found, for none is here. This is the world of time, where all things end."

Nothing in the world is whole. It was designed to reject wholeness. Space is an assertion of the idea that nothing is everywhere and the everywhere (God) is nowhere. Every object, every piece of matter, every physical attribute, every choice, is divided. It is only because there has BEEN a division that you even have two things to choose between, and each of those options is only half of the whole. So at best, any choice you make leaves you empty handed, second-guessing, and wishing you picked the other one. And surely the best of the best will bring you salvation!

The world is two-faced, just as the ego is. It gives and takes away. If you gain you lose. If you win you lose. If you get you lack. If you want not to share anything with anyone you end up with nothing. What you get is taken from you. What you accomplish is destroyed. What you build comes tumbling down. Nothing lasts, nothing is whole, nothing completes you. That's how this world is. The sooner you accept that this is its nature you can work within its limits and use it for a higher purpose without trying to expect it to suddenly act like heaven. Pigs will never be able to fly.

The secret of salvation tells us that we are doing everything to ourselves, but this is often used only to try to "re-frame" the stuff we thought other people were doing to us. If we open it up, there's a bigger picture here.

It's really actually about our RELATIONSHIP with God and with ourselves and our brothers.

We need to first be clear God is always loving. He does not attack, hurt, damage, threaten, reject, abandon, inflict pain and sickness and death, make anyone afraid, nor does he produce any form of unhappiness. He is continually constantly perfect and holy and innocent and pure and kind.

With that in mind, look then at what you are experiencing in your RELATIONSHIP with God. It is easy in ego to believe that God has abandoned you, God is a dangerous threat, God is out to kill you, God wants revenge etc, because the ego has misinterpreted God and tried to turn him into an evil monster.

The reason for that is that if you can make out that God is the one who DID SIN, and who is responsible for making hell, then you can disown it and hide the fact that He absolutely DID NOT do that. He becomes a convenient scapegoat and decoy to disguise your own sinfulness.

So if we recognize what God really is like, and realize He cannot possibly be the one making our lives hell, upsetting us, making us suffer, etc.... then it must be us. And this is a turning point because now you start to own up to the fact that YOU are the one making your life a living hell.

It's really you that tried to abandon and reject God. It's you that tried to sin against Him. It's you that left Heaven. It's you that threw away everything He gave you. It's you that turned away and sought something more. It's you that is actively pushing Him away. Jesus also says "You attack the real world every second of every day."

Indeed we made an entire world as an attack on God. This world was made as a defense AGAINST God, to shut him out and thus sever our relationship with Him. To hide in form and bodies trying to disguise who and what we are, so that He isn't part of our lives any more. Like holding a major grudge, we wanted nothing to do with Him. We wanted him dead.

It wasn't God that did this. God didn't make an attack planet. He does not attack us WITH the planet or WITH bodies or through sickness and suffering. He is not responsible for wars and murders and all manner of vile things. It's not even remotely His doing at all. God CANNOT do these things, He is utterly incapable of sin, and would never EVER attack you. You are part of Him, and He would be insane if He were to attack Himself.

So you then realize, as clearly as possible, that YOU are the one who has "done this to yourself". You have been hiding from God, rejecting God, abandoning God, attacking God, resisting God, not wanting God, fearing God, trying to make God sick and dead, speaking against God, and trying to live without God. That's your doing, not His, and it's not His will for you.

When you can own that, you can also then decide to choose again. And this is the major theme in the course. You can make a different decision and always be free and capable of returning to a loving relationship with God, in which you share everything and are fully open to Him being in you and with you. God wants that, because from His perspective, He has done nothing but continually love you. And it's just you who has been bearing completely unfounded grudges against Him.

This is why in a sense you need to "forgive God" of what you think He is responsible for, or what you think He "did" (sin), recognizing that He DID NOT do that, and HE is still innocent. But you have to go even further to then also forgive yourself. It's not enough JUST to recognize that God isn't the guilty party. You MUST also undo your own guilt and belief in real sin, that "you really did it, not God."

God knows you have not actually really done anything sinful at all. You have never attacked Him, hurt Him, damaged Him, upset Him, threatened Him, made Him sick or dead, or indeed affected or changed Him even in the tiniest of ways. And the whole authority problem was your attempt to believe you could, or had. Yet you cannot change God, period. Ever. And He still loves you. For-ever.

So His INVITATION, through the Holy Spirit, the "call to return", is merely asking you to come to your senses and accept the truth instead of what you THINK you did to God. Recognize how HE sees you. Recognize and reclaim your innocence. Laugh at the idea that you could ever sin. And thus return to relating TO Him from the same love that He relates to you.

This is what the journey Home is all about. Repairing your sense of a broken relationship with God, and thus with your Self, and with your Divine Brothers. Developing TRUST in Him again, as someone you can have a meaningful and SAFE relationship with. Opening up to re-discovering what He is really LIKE. Opening yourself to RECEIVE every gift that you temporarily shelved, including miracles.

It's a relief to really recognize that the only thing coming between you and God, between you and total happiness and peace and love, is the "hurt relationship" stuff BETWEEN you, that YOU put in place, and YOU can undo. Really, even if you ignore having to deal with other people, or with the body, or the world, the SOLE (soul) issue is your connection with God. First and foremost. And if you seek first the Kingdom of God, the way is made straight. All other relationships will fall into place when you get yourself "right with God."

Love God again. Job done.

There is a non-duality model which is frequently projected on ACIM's teachings. It suggests that in truth there is only "one", and that in the separation from God many individuals were formed. This however is very unlike what ACIM actually says when you go read it.

ACIM's teaching is that God created many individual beings - souls - who also share everything simultaneously. This comprises the sonship, which is a permanent family of living beings who each have their own self and yet share identity through the Christ mind, creating as one. Individuality was given to each soul/mind and therefore everyone has a real self. It is not a "blob" of one being sitting there all alone. It is a community.

In the separation from God, it was not an event where individuality was invented. It was an event where pre-existing individuals tried to be selfish. They didn't want to share everything with everyone, so they tried to separate themselves off. They became selfish, hoarding, possessive, owning, isolating, exclusive, special and rejecting of others.

The separation then was a breakdown in communication or a disruption of the family unit of the sonship. It's where some individuals became "the separated ones", by freely choosing individually to not share with others. It was like an attempt to rebel against the family and go off on their own as prodigal sons. But there is nothing about being a prodigal son that deletes you from existence when you return home.

What actually happened in the separation was you attempted to reject your wholeness and your self and your family. You tried to stop sharing with your permanent brothers. You wanted some special favor from God, which he would give you alone and not anyone else. It was simply an attitudinal problem, one of selfishness, and not an issue of trying to be an individual."The ego is the idea of selfishness."

Selfishness is an attitude. You can have a person who is an individual who shares, and you can have the same person who adopts a selfish attitude. Just because you're being selfish doesn't mean you suddenly invent an individuality.

In the separation, in denying our shared identity and family coherence, we actually tried to deny that we had a self. The ego is the idea of self denial, repression, hiding and withdrawal. It was an attempt to reject your self and to not be a self. In fact the ego idea even takes it so far as to try to eradicate your self entirely, which is why it is so murderous and always has the goal of the death of the sons of God in mind.

In death the ego reports that it is triumphant in erasing your self and removing your individuality. It is in death that you stop being an individual or having a self at all. Death is the attempt to destroy who and what you really are. And death is not about the production of an individual life, it's about ending it.

This also means that when you go in the opposite direction towards heaven, towards eternal life, you are moving away from the lack of individuality, towards individuality. Towards having a self. It's a movement back towards the family of God and towards the sonship and your equal brothers. It's a reintegration of self and a return to wholeness. It's a reclaiming of your identity and a recognizing that you do exist as an individual being. As a soul.

Jesus also states in the course that as you awaken, your sense of self actually expands, becoming more full and complete. This doesn't mean you are simply returning to one big blob in the sky, it means you are returning to being yourself. And the goal of the course is to "know thyself."

So in fact the traditional models of individuality are upside down. Especially in some eastern traditions which suggests that reality is no-self while illusion is self. This is completely backwards. The fact is that when you decide to try to reject your self, to deny your soul, you bring illusions of separation into your mind. Blocks and walls and grievances and attack thoughts etc enter the mind to try to cut down, isolate, narrow, limit, confine and section off who and what you are from the rest.

These walls and limits seem to form a restricted or reduced sense of self, surrounded with pictures of bodies and things that are too small to encompass what you really are, so that you'll believe that you are not the magnitude or scope of your unlimited self. And as you "identify with" these things, such as with the body, you believe that you are something small and little and cut off and separate. And this "bodily identity" in your mind forms a sense of who and what you are, which is a false sense of identity. But really it's a false IDENTIFICATION WITH something, not the invention of identity itself.

Those who are deceived, believe that this false sense of identity is their self. Such as believing you are your body. And it is this false sense of self which ends when you wake up to reality. It is this sense of being separated off and not sharing and not being whole, that ends. Which means you actually return to a greater fullness of self, more expansive and inclusive. You actually become full of self. You identity WITH your spiritual self and DIS-IDENTIFY from the false body."The soul is the idea of self fullness."

But self here does not mean selfishness, or an isolated self. It means a self that shares all of itself with other selves, in unity and oneness, as in having a real open and full relationship with all other individual beings in reality. God included.

So you have to then realize that ego is actually the attempted denial of your self and the denial of individuality. It's the attempt to suggest you do not exist and do not have any self and are dead. And just because this denial of self shows up as the seeming "presence" of an artificial identity, it does not mean that you have created an individuality. It's actually an ILLUSION OF an individual, which is ACTUALLY NOT an individual. Because remember the ego is always deceptive, being an illusion.

Your ego is really the absence of self, the absence of individuality, the suppression of personality, the denial of wholeness, and the rejection of being as God created you. The illusion of a separated off, selfish self, is undone as you awaken. This does not mean that your individuality is thrown out with the bathwater. What it means is that your individuality opens back up to sharing with the rest of your God-given family. It is actually a return to having a self. It is self acknowledgement, acceptance and awareness.

So when you have people teaching that ACIM is non-duality, or that you have no real self, or that you do not exist, or that you're supposed to deny yourself, or that your entire identity is going to just disappear someday, they are teaching absolute bullshit. They are teaching you that you do not exist, which is an ego teaching. It is an improper use of denial.

You're supposed to deny the DENIAL OF self, not deny that you have a self. You are to deny the ego, which is an illusion of a self, but which is actually the attempt to not have a self. You are to deny that you do not have a self. That is how you return to what you really are as a self in heaven. As an individual being which God created to share with others and co-create with Him.

"God who encompasses all being nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually and want to share it to increase their joy."When you project these non-duality teachings onto ACIM and you start to claim that the path to enlightenment is self repression or self denial or "you don't exist" and trying to be so neutral and passive as if you don't even have a self at all, that is actually SELF DESTRUCTION, which is completely in accord with the ego. It is the ego attempting to be spiritual, in fact. The absolute pinnacle of the spiritualized ego is to deny that you exist, in the name of being spiritual and growing in size. It is arrogant and narcissistic and a mistake.

This is why ACIM's teaching is not the same as the teachings that people keep projecting onto it. It is not a non-duality teaching and it is NOT about trying to get rid of yourself. Remember you were created by God to HAVE a self in the first place. Your self is divine and holy and perfect. You also have equal brothers who are divine and holy and perfect, created by God as well. And you share everything with everyone always. That produces a perfect harmony of souls in the sonship who have and share everything with each other, as the family of God.

That is what is written in ACIM and that is what it teaches. That you had a self before the ego came along, and you will have a self again when the ego is erased. This is not a course in self destruction or repression of the sonship or the depressing argument of trying to not exist. You should not deny your soul, or you are denying reality. This is a course in awakening to who and what you are as created by God, as one of many of his beloved children in heaven.

All anti-individuality sentiment is therefore destructive and death-worshipping and depressing and a rejection of God's will. Ego does not mean or equate to individuality. It equates only to an ATTITUDE which an individual has that runs contrary to the sharing nature of the sonship. Removing the attitude problem does not have to entail you destroying yourself. You are in fact supposed to embrace yourself and your freedom and thank God that you have been given life to share with others forever.

Something that I am really connecting with strongly at the moment, is the very ultra-simple truth that I am GOD’S CREATION. This is reflected in ideas such as:

"I am forever an effect of God,"

"I am still as God created me."

I focus simply on the fact that whatever I am, I MUST BE what God has determined me to be. I come from Him, and from nothing else. I am the extension of Him, per His Will. And everything I have He has given me.

It bypasses all lower level ideas and concepts and simply focuses on WHAT I AM, in relationship to God. The primary relationship of cause and effect between Father and Son.

This entails acceptance and acknowledgement of having been created BY God, and that therefore I am His child, and must be EXACTLY as He created me to be.

I am still as God created me.

God designed me to be perfect so I must be perfect.

God created me therefore I am exactly what He wanted to create.

I must be innocent because God created me innocent.

I must be sinless and guiltless because God did not design me with sin or guilt in me.

I cannot die because God did not Will that I be dead.

As you play with this idea and elaborate on it, you can come up with some very powerful yet simple, holy ideas about your real self.

God is the cause, you are His effect. I acknowledge that since God caused me, I must be whatever HE wants me to be. I must be as he designed me. I must be loved and holy. I must be perfect and divine. I must FOREVER be immortal and flawless and deathless and ageless and free from all corruption.

Acknowledging that I am God’s effect or creation, means admitting to being Christ. Jesus said to me, putting words in my mouth, "I need to restore my identity as Christ." This line of thinking does exactly that.

I will to simply remember my true nature. To remember who I am and what I am like. To recall why I must be free from anything God did not put into me. To recognize why I must be still as he designed and in perfect accord with His will and blueprint.

I can ONLY be what God has chosen to create me as. I cannot change this. I cannot redefine myself. I have no say in or power to alter myself. I have never changed since God created me. I’m incapable of being or doing anything God did not build into me to be capable of.

Therefore I have a "function", which God has set in place, a role if you will a machinery, a way of operating, a potential and capability, a talent, which God has given and is irrevocable. Nor can I add the slightest anything to His design. Nor can I take anything away.

I can ONLY BE what God wills me to be. I come from God. I am His holy extension. I am like Him. I am in His likeness and of His nature. I have INHERITED Him. I am HOST to Him. I am what He would have me be, and nothing more or less.

I am God’s Son, God’s child. I am from Him alone. Everything about me is HIS choice. I can only accept and celebrate that He has given me blessings and freedom and joy and beauty and power and everything of Himself. He has shared Himself with me. He has GIVEN Himself to me. I am HIS property.

The relationship of communion with God is the fundamental primary relationship of the soul to its creator. It is the recognition of what you ARE and MUST be, because of WHO created you. And it is the acceptance that you CANNOT BE anything else, nothing else is true of you, and only His truth about you is true.

You are anchored to your true identity as Christ because this is what God has willed. He created you Christ. You ARE Christ. And nothing beyond God has any power over you to define, change, attack, distinguish, affect or alter you in any way.

You are God’s creation. Holy, innocent, and free.

"There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The main difference between us as yet is that I have NOTHING ELSE. This leaves me in a state of true holiness, which is only a POTENTIAL in you."

There is an interpretation of ACIM that I run into quite often, which has nothing to do with it.

In the world in general, many people have the idea that "the world" is duality. And then at some point they get the idea that "behind the world" there is a oneness.

So here you have two basic sort of levels, a oneness and a twoness. Usually this idea suggests that all the "things" in the world are actually joined together as "one thing". That it's all God. As if the "forms" of objects are some way in which the "formless God" is manifesting or showing up.

This is a variant of what some people call a non-duality idea. And many people think that for example, space and time are "the universe", ie all of existence, and that the universe "as a whole" is God, a oneness that makes up the stars and planets.

For these people, there is usually no notion of any existence beyond space time, beyond this "universe", any other dimension, or anything but what is front of their faces.

Many of these people bring this "model" of reality to ACIM with them and do not let it go. Instead they try to fit ACIM into this model. I've seen some pretty severe cases of this where a person studying ACIM for decades still believes this basic arrangement of reality.

It seems like a simple enough idea.... and also seems to be supported by science for the most part. It's the idea that physical matter is somehow a sort of illusion, and it's really all made up of energy or some lower-level substance, which at the lowest level all seems to be one big thing.

There are various statements in ACIM which, if read with this model of the world in mind, might seem to validate it. Such as God being in everything you see, or reflections of heaven on earth, or heaven not being a place but a condition, etc.

Some people have really dug into this model and believe it's the whole of what ACIM is teaching. But, in my opinion, it's far from it. One of the major problems with it is that it gives credit to the illusory world as "God's creation", it shifts an entire level of existence down a notch so that the physical world becomes part of reality, even the Kingdom. Then people want to forgive the world in terms of lifting away from it unfair judgements "of God's Kingdom", as if Earth is God's creation. And this couldn't be more mistaken, leading to making illusions real.

In ACIM's definition of reality, heaven is an unlimited realm which is hosted within God. It is God's creation or kingdom. It hosts many beings etc. In ACIM, this sonship is synonymous with references to "universe". In this view, there never was a planet Earth or space or time or physical matter or bodies or quantum fields or dark matter or any of the rest of it. There's just God's being and its divine light-based contents.

It then tells us there was a major event, sometimes called "the fall of man" and sometimes "the separation" or "descent into hell" or "detour into fear", which seemed to split the minds of some of the occupants of heaven. And this resulting in the illusory hallucinated making of a whole other seeming realm, a lower-order reality, another "universe", space and time, physical matter, planets, bodies and so on. None of this existed before, and in reality does not really exist now. And it's certainly not a creation of God.

That's very different than saying that all of the physical contents of spacetime are joined together in a oneness. It's really saying that all of the contents of spacetime, and space and time themselves, are really a single illusion, covering up ANOTHER reality beyond them. In effect, 1) the illusory world of objects, 2) the world of objects is all one big dream - but not the oneness of God, and 3) beyond this unified singular illusion is ultimate reality - actual God and heaven.

Three seeming layers, not two. Not just duality and non-duality, or duality and oneness, but separate illusions (false perception), singular illusions (true perception), and oneness (no perception). We need to open our minds to listen to what ACIM is telling us about the structures of existence, rather than dragging our baggage and preconceptions and assumptions into it, trying to force ACIM to justify and prove some pre-held beliefs. We have to surrender all prior beliefs and listen and let ourselves learn a new truth.

Space and time and matter and all of these contents that we call "the universe" is not the universe. It is an illusory realm of separation and an attack on God. It exists only as a dream in the minds of those who are asleep and in denial of actual reality. You can at best change how you look at it and see a reflection of light in it, in order to prepare for leaving it, but you cannot turn it into reality. It is fundamentally not really there. It is not existence. And it is not secretly oneness. "There is no world."

Let's review this prayer from ACIM in a new light.

"1. I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.

2. I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.

3. I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.

4. I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.

5. I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me."

so...

1) I first admit I'm upset because I projected guilt, so I'm victimized and I'm suffering and afraid and not at peace. I signed a stupid contract with someone so that they would take my guilt and, in exchange, I would be persecuted.

2) I have to recognize I made a decision (contract) with the person myself and projected my own guilt myself. Thus I must admit that this person be seen as innocent and they were just helping me to hide my guilt.

3) I want to decide otherwise because I want to not be a victim any more and I am willing to be responsible for my guilt. So I take my guilt back from the person. I want out of the contract and I want real healing.

4) I do not have to feel guilty. I can go to Holy Spirit and offer up my guilt and be willing to be OPEN to accepting His verdict. If He says so, I am innocent, and I must accept that if He says so - this is what it means to allow Him to decide FOR ME whether I'm innocent or not. So I don't HAVE to be guilty and I don't have to (and should not attempt to) decide for myself. And also...

"Holy spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I will let Him."

- Holy Spirit will UNDO ALL CONSEQUENCES. That means He is capable of removing all guilt, all sin, all suffering, all fear, all sickness, all hate and anger, all shame, all darkness in any form whatsoever. Anything that I made as a result of choosing sin and guilt He CAN undo FOR ME. I don't have to even do anything.

- "If I will let Him", means, I have to have as much willingness as possible to be OPEN to the possibility that I am innocent, to fully ACCEPT Holy Spirit's judgement (that I am innocent), to LET GO OF all guilt and every consequence that came from choosing sin, and then to LET HIM go to work IN ME to undo all of these manifestations and forms of consequence. And that includes all sickness and side effects, IF I will let Him.

5. I can trigger off this willingness by allowing Holy Spirit to decide for me... i.e. I can go before Him and say, here's my guilt etc, please decide for me whether I am really guilty or not. And that means I have to be very open minded and neutral in offering this, knowing that I am not being unfairly judged, and to be willing to ACCEPT whatever Holy Spirit's verdict is. This is like a last, final offering to Him. If He says I am guilty, I must hang my head in shame and head off into the wilderness by myself. If he says I am innocent, I MUST agree to let go of all of the guilt and all of the consequences that my sinful decision made for me.

I am letting Holy Spirit decide for God for me, which now really means, I want God/HS to choose the meaning of what I am and the truth about me and whether or not I am innocent or guilty. I will let Him decide my fate. And He WILL decide FOR me, in my favor, that I am innocent.

If I can be willing to really accept this Atonement, to accept His decision, THEN... willingness permitting, I CAN ask Him to forgive and heal me and He CAN come into me and heal me. He CAN correct all of the consequences, literally. He can fix every fuckup that resulted from this mess. And he can raise the dead (me) back to life.

Personally I have been learning to experience this more - this last part, allowing Holy Spirit to come into me and actually "do stuff". This is quite wacky sometimes. If you've seen videos of some supernatural-oriented Christian churches where they bring forth Holy Spirit and people start shaking and they get all hot or cold or tingly or body parts start to heal or they grow a new eyeball or whatever.... (it happens!) .... That kind of shit can happen for you. This is what the Course is saying. "Holy Spirit will undo ALL THE CONSEQUENCES If I will let Him." I need to learn to be very willing to let Him, so that I can be helped by his divine POWER, which is a healing agent, which can correct me on all levels including emotional and physical.

This isn't just a Course in nice gentle little evaporating of thought. This is a course in fricking MIRACLES!

Imagine what life might be like if you let God do everything for you? Literally everything? You can just lay back and relax and do nothing, while God does everything.

Trying to live without God is painful and limiting and doesn’t work very well.

We’ve gone off into a fantasy of trying to be God, to replace Him with an entire array of substitutes, and to try to "go it alone". Without God, everything sucks.

God wants to do everything for us. He wants to love us for us. He wants to protect us, heal us, nourish us, give us life, show us the truth, make us happy, undo all our suffering, wipe away all our tears, and give us perfect peace.

He wants to be the one to GIVE all of this to you. To SHARE it all with you abundantly. To OFFER it to you. To LET YOU receive all of it from Him. So that you HAVE NO NEEDS.

He wants to meet ALL of your needs. Everything. Being in his mere presence undoes all your doubts and fears, all your sense of loneliness, all your loss and emptiness, all your suffering, all your sickness and pain, and all problems. Just by being with Him.

Being without Him AUTOMATICALLY creates problems, lack, limitation, suffering, pain and tears. It is the separation FROM HIM that is causing these problems for you. This means YOU CANNOT live separately from Him AND SUCCEED, because the separation from Him ITSELF is a big problem for you.

If you are separate from God, your needs will go UNMET. If you deny God’s love, you will be NEEDY And LACKING. If you shut out God’s healing, you will become sick and suffer. If you reject God’s eternal life, you will experience illusions of dying. You don’t want that.

LIFE DOES NOT WORK WITHOUT GOD.

You cannot succeed on your own. You cannot be so amazingly "god-like" that your existence separate from Him is a total success. BEING separate will infuse your life with fear and denial and self attack and loss and all manner of manifestations of the ABSENCE OF GOD. Without love, it all goes to fucking hell.

God wants to love us for us. He wants to choose for us. He wants to will for us. He wants to give us life. He wants to fulfill every need. He wants to make it so you have no questions and only answers. He wants to take away all your suffering and forms of sickness. He wants to heal your mind to perfection and sanity. He wants to restore you to eternal life and to love you forever. He wants it so that there is NOTHING that you need DO on your own, separate from Him. Nothing at all. That you are HAPPY AND FULFILLED, living a life of True Meaning!

TOTAL DEPENDENCE ON GOD ALONE to do EVERYTHING FOR YOU. Doesn’t that sound heavenly? That you could be so thoroughly served, supported, so abundantly helped, so unlimitedly sustained, by God, without any effort on your part? Totally effortless bliss and happiness forever? No need for defenses or walls or counter measures or magical solutions or bandaids or denial to make illusions that everything is ok. God wants you to know that you are exactly the way HE CREATED YOU and always will be because it is His Will to SUSTAIN YOU FOREVER and to constantly ensure you LACK NOTHING.

Everything is not ok with you when you don’t have God. Everything SUCKS big time when God is suppressed from your life. When you are doing it all yourself, everything goes wrong. When you are RELYING ON YOUR SELF, you MUST become afraid. Depending on your weak, limited little self is guaranteed to make you afraid because you KNOW that you lack God’s power and are powerless to deal with life. You also believe that God’s Will is against you, which is insurmountable, causing you to cower in the shadows in fear of death.

You need God!!!!!!!! YOU NEED HIM! You need what he is offering. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be sustained without Him! Accepting His Gifts will solve everything for you. To have God back in your life is going to bring you so much happiness an peace and effortlessness. So much guidance about what to do and where to go and what to say. So much healing flowing through you, for you, and for others. So much PURPOSE. So much MEANING to living. So much reason TO BE GRATEFUL because of the TOTAL BLESSING that has been given to you. Open to receive help! God is here for you and loves you now!!!!

THANK YOU GOD!!!!! I OPEN TO RECEIVE YOUR DIVINE SUPPORT AND MY NATURAL INHERITANCE. THANK YOU FOR SUPPLYING EVERY SINGLE NEED AND FOR TAKING CARE OF EVERY PROBLEM. I TRUST YOU IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE. I SURRENDER MY SEPARATE WILL AND WANT WHAT YOU WANT FOR ME. I ACCEPT YOUR LOVE AND YOUR HELP AND AM WILLING TO BE OF SERVICE TO CARRY OUT YOUR WILL ONLY. I AM HERE FOR YOU AS YOU ARE HERE FOR ME AND WE LOVE EACH OTHER. AMEN.

From lesson 48: "There is nothing to fear."

"The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength. The awareness that there is nothing to fear shows that somewhere in your mind, though not necessarily in a place you recognize as yet, you have remembered God, and let His strength take the place of your weakness. The instant you are willing to do this there is indeed nothing to fear."

You would think that trusting yourself and depending on you own strength more would make you somehow more confident. You’d think that if you can just be braver or more stoic or aggressive or assertive, maybe you can be unafraid. Or that if you come across as powerful, others will not intimidate you.

But there is a metaphysical basis for what happens here. When you trust your own *separate* strength, you are actually putting distance between yourself and strength. God is strength. Innocence is strength. Being separate is a belief in not being with God, and not being innocent. So as you move into separation and into "your own" separated self, you move away from the inherent nature of God’s creation, away from divine protection.

This makes you weaker, lacking, uncertain, filled with doubt, afraid of punishment for the sin of being separate, guilty for rejecting God’s help, and thoroughly limits what you can do. No-one can be separate from God and live.

Anyone who has struggled in life can probably tell you that when you are trying to do everything on your own, it sucks bad. Trying to overcome problems and deal with stress and manage everything and to be some kind of separate superhero, absent of God’s help, has its major limits. Trying to "go solo" is suicide.

The more you do it, the more you *seem* to become some kind of heroic savior, or successful achiever, or person of pride, or someone who has conquered the world. You come across on the surface as invincible. Nothing could be further from the truth. The more that you try to become the ego’s version of invincibility, the more you will become vulnerable, fragile, paranoid, empty, weak and sick. Being the hero of the dream is a trap. This is why heroes die.

True strength is only possible when you share with God. True resilience, invulnerability, power, confidence, certainty, immovability and permanence can only be found by allowing God to be the one who supplies your every need. Without God, you are without life. Without God, you are alone and you now have to defend yourself against an entire world you see as willing against you. Without God there is weakness and death. You cannot live without God.

So if you are afraid, it is a sure sign that you are depending too heavily on "your own" strength. It’s strange to think that you are feeling afraid because you are believing that you are powerful. Or that you are afraid because you think you are tough. Or you are afraid because you believe you can do anything and everything and don’t need any help. Or you are afraid because you see yourself as not needing any help. But this is precisely the backwards effects which the ego produces, pretending it is going to help you to be more distinctly separate, when all it does is hurt you more.

If you are afraid, it means you are not trusting God right now. It means you are listening to the ego and are fantasizing about how powerful you are. Trying to be powerful without God makes you powerless. To have power over others against their will strips you of your power and turns you into a vulnerable victim. If you are afraid, you need to let go of trying to do this all on your own. The more you try, the more you will fail. Seek and do not find.

It is not necessary to do everything on your own. Nor is it a matter of being a separate hero and having Holy Spirit back you up or having mighty companions to support you and surround you. I used to do that more, trying to retain my separate will and have Holy Spirit as a kind of servant to do my bidding and make my separate problems go away.

It’s more a matter of surrendering control of what you think is "your life", which you are trying to will independently of God, and give your life back to God. Make room for Him to help you. Let Him share it with you. Let Him solve the problems and carry the burden. Let Him look after others for you. Allow the freedom of not having to carry the whole world on your shoulders. It’s too big for anyone to do so in isolation.

Share your life with God and you gain the power of God. Paradoxically, allowing Him to live through you will allow you to live forever. Letting Him take over and direct you specifically, and being willing to listen and learn and do, to follow direction, will be far better for you than the outcomes you are trying to manipulate into being. Controlling your will and making it oppose God’s is not ever going to work in your favor.

God has a plan. God knows how to fix stuff. God knows what everyone needs, including you. Let Him lead the way and there will be no fear. Trust Him, and all your worries will vanish.

"To the extent to which you identify with the ego's self, you will identify with the ego's strategy, and so you will become afraid of the power of your mind."

Ask Jesus what to do! Learn to ask Him more than you ask yourself. So often I am considering what to do or not do, relying on my own self to know and be able ego decide. Jesus says, "ask!"

"Before you choose to do anything, ask me if your choice is in accord with mine. If you are sure that it is, there will be no fear."

"The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt."

Notice that it says THOSE, meaning the world is made by multiple individuals.

"Look carefully at this world, and you will realize that this is so. For this world is the symbol of punishment, and all the laws which seem to govern it are the laws of death. Children are born into it through pain and in pain."

Notice that it talks about children being born INTO the "world" that is being referenced. AND that as they are born they are born IN pain THROUGH pain. And I think we all know that this is talking about planet earth, with physical bodies, women giving birth to babies, and is nothing to do with internal perceptions or interpretations.

"Their growth is attended by suffering, and they learn of sorrow and separation and death."

Notice again that it confirms the world being referenced is the one where bodies die. That's the physical world.

"Their minds are trapped in their brain, and its power declines if their bodies are hurt."

Notice this is also true of anyone who has a BODY, a physical human organic organism, with a BRAIN, and therefore is definitely talking about the physical body of flesh and bones, living in the world that is outside of it - planet Earth. The container of the bodies.

"They seem to love, yet they desert, and are deserted. They appear to lose what they love, perhaps the most insane belief of all. And their bodies wither and gasp and are laid in the ground, and seem to be no more."

Yes where do these once-children's bodies get laid in the ground, the physical soil? On planet earth, at a physical level. Also notice that he says basically that bodies withering and gasping and dying in the ground IS CRUEL. It's not something natural or something that God would want for you. And IF that happens to your body, you MUST be believing that God is cruel because if death happens THAT IS CRUELTY.

"Not one of them but has thought that God is cruel."

If this were the real world, God WOULD be cruel. For no father could subject his children to this as the price of salvation, and be loving."

Notice that therefore in this reference, where Jesus has CLEARLY set up the fact that he's talking about the physical planet where human bodies are born, suffer and die, the same bodies that have brains and which grow old.... THAT WORLD.... would have to be coming from a CRUEL God, IF God were to be the creator of it. Because only through such a cruel creatorship and intention could such cruel things come about.

It would be thoroughly unloving for God to create a world where you lose things, you wither, your brain is attacked and diminishes, the body grows old and weak and sick, or where death happens at all. God simply WOULD NOT create such an environment. Such an environment IS cruel and not even remotely divine and holy. Not even slightly the hallmark of a totally loving God.

Also notice that it states IF this was the real world, ... meaning IT IS NOT the real world, and reality is ANOTHER WORLD that is NOT planet earth. NOT physical. With NO bodies and no death.

"LOVE DOES NOT KILL TO SAVE. For if it did, attack WOULD be salvation, and this is the ego's interpretation, not God's. Only the world of guilt could demand this, for only the guilty could CONCEIVE of it."

Notice that it also refers to this physical planet as "the world of guilt", just as it also refers to it elsewhere as "the world of sin" and "the world of death". And God would NOT create a world of guilt, sin, or death.

"This world..."

(which we now know is referring to the very physical earth world of human bodies)

..."IS a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son."

So now the physical world, is a picture of crucifixion. A PHYSICAL picture. The crucifixion is BUILT INTO MATTER. That has nothing to do with "how you are perceiving". It is purely to do with the form of the physical planet itself. It's a picture of crucifixion, not a picture of heaven.

"And until you realize that God's Son cannot be crucified, this is the world you will see."

Notice that this states if you believe God's Son can be crucified, ie believe in attack and sin at all, YOU WILL be forced to SEE this physical world THAT YOU MADE. And this confirms further that God DID NOT create this physical planet. And this also implies that if you DO NOT believe in the crucifixion of God's Son you will STOP seeing this world THAT YOU MADE. You made the physical world and everything in it.

"But you will not realize this, until you accept the eternal fact that God's Son is NOT GUILTY. He DESERVES only love, because he has GIVEN only love. He cannot be condemned, because he has never condemned."

Recognition of immortality, holiness and innocence is the key to NOT SEEING THIS WORLD and instead seeing the Son of God in its holy home.

"The Atonement is the final lesson he need learn, for it teaches him that, never having sinned, he has no NEED of salvation."

Ahhhh.. "Dreams of death are not left by death, but by truth."

The world you made, which God did not create, which is the world of bodies, which is also the world of sin guilt and fear and death, is NOT GOD's world, because it IS a cruel world and it would be cruel to ACCUSE God of creating such a place.

The Kingdom of God is your home. It is not like this world at all. "God does not will that you suffer" or die.

When we talk about miracles I often hear a lot of examples being given of what seemed miraculous to some people. But we need to be clearer about whether something is a miracle or not.

In general language, most people think of a miracle as something that happens that's very unlikely, highly improbably, extraordinary in its seeming marvel at bringing about a solution or resolving some problem.

Like if some person is drowning in a river and someone pulls them out and it seemed highly likely they were going to die, but they live, some might call it a miracle.

Or someone goes through a particular car crash where a wooden post rams through the window and just barely misses killing the person and then they think of it as miraculous because the seeming "odds" of it happening are so extreme.

This all touches on the idea that miracles are generally things that are "highly improbable", and if we take it a step further, impossible. If "the impossible happens" it's so astonishing that we will call it miraculous.

But very highly unlikely things can happen in the world, without it in any way being a miracle. If someone has a brush with death and somehow manages to get past it "against all the odds", we might start calling it a miracle.

And then there's things that people say like, they are performing miracles every day. No, that's not happening. Or that certain things that people like or love are miracles, your children are miracles, every flower is a miracle, etc. These aren't really miraculous in the true sense that's just things that people spiritualize and try to make out to be extra special.

These kind of "miracles" are a combination of wishful thinking, idol worship, specialness, denial, a belief in magic, and a sense of surprise at something that seems unlikely to happen. These kinds of deifnitions of miracles totally water down and suppress what miracles really are, and what they are capable of.

Moses parted an ocean. Jesus raised the dead and healed the sick. He's told us there is NOTHING we cannot do. He's told us miracles can heal the body. He's told us our mind is extremely powerful and that even physically moving a literal mountain is A TINY FEAT for such a power. That even our minds have the power to create entire worlds.

"Why is it strange to you that faith can move mountains? This is indeed a little feat for such a power."

"While expressions like "think big" give some recognition to the power of thought, they still come nowhere near the truth. You do not expect to grow when you say it, because you don't really believe it. It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains."

When the laws of physics are broken, then you're looking at a miracle. When the laws of another world are seeming to operate here, such the the laws of this world are VIOLATED, when the seemingly totally impossible happens, not WITHIN the laws of what's possible in the world, but in spite of them, then that's a miracle.

We're talking here about the reversal of everything the world says can never BE undone. Things which CANNOT happen, but are made possible anyway by a divine, supernatural, mind-driven power. Miracles wield the power of God through the Holy Spirit and Jesus. They CAN DO the very things which the entire world says CAN NEVER be done.

You can't put all the various "its on the news and they're calling it a miracle" episodes of "that wasn't very likely to happen" in the same bucket. We're talking here about a mind power that can manipulate the laws of physics, defy gravity (such as walking on water), alter objects (such as multiplying/materializing food out of nowhere), healing bodies (such as giving someone new eyeballs), you know... stuff that we consider utterly impossible. Stuff that requires a power NOT OF THIS WORLD to perform.

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life."

"What He enables you to do is clearly NOT of this world, for miracles violate every law of reality, as this world judges it. Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended, for what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly beyond ALL of them."