What you accept, you do not deny.

What you deny, you do not accept.

In order to awaken to reality, you must deny anything which is not real. And you must accept what is real.

Accepting what is real is the acceptance of the atonement. But this also goes hand in hand with denying what is not real.

If you deny what is real, and accept what is not real, you are in the ego thought system.

It is no more complicated than this.

"The denial of God is the ego's religion."

"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error (ego/dream/separation/world) can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it."

Deny the world. Accept the Kingdom of God. That's all.

Refuse to accept illusions of sickness, suffering and death. They cannot be real because they are not part of the Kingdom.

Anything God did not create has no power over you. You must accept this. You should accept that only what God created is true. This is the acceptance of atonement and of your inheritance, and that you remain as God created you. Accept reality, deny unreality.

Accept truth, deny the false.

Accept heaven, deny hell.

Accept immortality, deny death.

Accept invulnerability, deny sickness.

Accept God, deny evil.

Accept love, deny murder.

Accept peace, deny suffering.

Accept innocence, deny guilt.

Accept yourself, deny what you are not.

FORGIVENESS, then, is really just a matter of getting your belief and mind into the right orientation. Where you ACCEPT only that which is of God as true, and DENY anything else. If your mind is in a state of accepting and recognizing REALITY, and denying unreality, you are miracle minded, which will force you to have true perception.

Another way of thinking about this is in terms of upside down or right-side up. The ego's thought system is upside down because it denies the higher reality and accepts the lower illusion. When you flip this and accept the higher reality and deny the lower illusion, your mind is "right side up". "it is the BEGINNING step in reversing your perception and turning it right side up"

"Readiness here means keep your perception right side up, (or valid), so you will ALWAYS be ready, willing, and able. These are the essentials for "listen, learn, and do." You must be READY to listen WILLING to learn and ABLE to do."

Forgiveness really therefore is quite SIMPLE, if you think of it solely in terms of what you are "accepting and denying". Accept only truth/God/reality/heaven and you'll be in a psychological state of right mindedness, with true perception and forgiveness. This require denying the world you made and recognizing it as false. Doing the opposite puts you into ego suffering.

I've been starting to read "Life and teaching of the Masters of the far East". It's a collection of books, recounting the stories of travelers who went to the far East and encountered several very spiritually advanced people.

The only other book I've read that's similarly inspiring, or alluding to the potential we have, is Yogananda's autobiography of a Yogi.

In this book, the experiences and explanations that are given are quite eye-opening. If the stories are to be believed, and it's to be expected a lot of people have a hard time accepting it, here is some of what is claimed:

God has a power which He shares fully with us and which we are meant to use, and this power is capable of a) manifesting any object of any kind, b) healing absolutely all sickness, c) overcoming death, d) facilitating the transcendence of space and time for travel, e) being not only immune to but able to control all aspects of events and objects in the physical world, f) being able to materialize and dematerialize the body, g) the instantaneous manifestation of food and money supplied by God meaning you no longer have to rely on any limited resource or sources of objects from others, .... and various other things we'd consider 'miracles'.

Basically, what it's suggesting is, literally, that we are capable of absolutely ANYTHING if/when we join with God. It doesn't just mean that we give up everything and go to God, either, although some people eventually reach such a high position that they never want to leave there, although they can (like Jesus). It means that we can actually 'live forever' joined to an unlimited supply of provision. The people in the book, the masters, are hundreds of years of age, and yet appear to be 30-40 in age, youthful and in perfect health.

These kind of things give me more of a picture of 'whats possible' and clues as to what A Course in Miracles might be saying and meaning.

I realize now that when I read certain things in the Course, even if I THINK I am being absolutely open minded, I am still actually building upon meanings and learning that I had accumulated from before. Even if I think my learning is more open minded than others, it STILL is resting on what I already think I know and that skews the potential meaning. Also I do not know what I don't know... there are things, truths, that I simply am not aware of, and so when I think I am exactly 'getting' what the Course says, maybe I still am not... there could be a context or laws or information outside of my current awareness.

Then when I'm exposed to information like in this series of books, it makes me 'think twice' about what I thought I knew. It's eye opening.

The ego thrives on two sides of a coin: desire and fear.

Desire is its attempt to "get", which really means to steal from another and deprive them of it.

Fear is its attempt to "not get" or to "get rid of", which means to be stolen from and deprived.

These are the two sides of the same horizontal axis in which some finite amount of something is transferred to or from another, to or from the separate self.

Fear is actually a form of attack which is an attempt to murder, and an attempt to "make it go away", or a rejection of something - typically to get rid of "only what is negative".

Greed, shall we say, is more a form of selfishness and an attempt to be given "only what is positive".

So the ego is always trying to get rid of/kill what it perceives as negative, through fear, and to get more of what it regards as positive through possession or attachment.

Everyone always tries to get rid of what they consider "false", while trying to get more of what they consider "true", whether it be on the level of spirit/reality or in illusions. The ego and the soul both want what they consider to be true, and what is true is always valuable.

However, attachment through getting, also leads to the potential for loss, because you can only seem to lose what you seem to have stolen. Believing it can be stolen from another is to believe it can be stolen from you.

And similarly fear can attract to you what you do not what, in the same vein as "what you resist persists". Fearing makes it real and, while saying you do not want it, is a choice to have more of it.

So in effect the ego attacks itself by making itself be threatened by the very things it says it does not want, so that they haunt it and pursue it relentlessly. Which is why fear also entails a sort of running away and being chased (especially in dreams).

And then on the flipside the ego causes itself to lose the very things it cherishes by trying to stop them leaving, which is a kind of push/pull energy that forces them away.

In other words, attraction and repulsion are the same thing. Since the ego also fears what it thinks it wants, this prevents it from gaining it, and so deprives itself.

What you try gain you lose. What you fear comes to you. Success is failure. Failure is success. Attachment becomes loss. Gain becomes the fear of loss. Loss becomes deprivation which inspires lack and wanting, which leads to trying to get, etc. The metaphysics/dynamics/logic here is quite interesting.

And on it goes, feeding upon its own madness.

"Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering, and intense fear of loss." UrW41L1

When I used to see people making mistakes with the course - "believing the wrong thing", not understanding it right etc, I would see that as a sin. I would react to it and pounce on it with a correction.

Somehow over time "it's not a sin" has taken hold, and I see people as being simply mistaken, and at many varied stages of learning. In the past I would have even chastised a beginner if they sounded stupid or were not getting it right away, without recognizing people are at different places in their path.

By moving past "it's a sin", expanding past "my ego says so", and becoming more allowing of differences, I see more that everyone's at different places and with different learning. A person making a mistake is given more gentle credit and their mistake is more recognized without it meaning that they are "wrong" for it.

After all, if this is a classroom and we're all children who are rather unwise and have lost our way, then we're all at different places on our path and have different mistakes to overcome. The people who are newer or are making classic mistakes or whatever might not have yet even read enough material to get past it.

Sin tends to isolate and exclude, and it narrows perception down. It focused on what one small fault a person has, draws a fence around it, makes it separated off, and then focused purely on that one thing, as if that is the whole of the person. Do one thing wrong and they're totally sinful. The sin shuts out all love and so obscure all good things about the person, casting them in darkness with no light.

Forgiveness breaks down these tiny boxes and looks at more of the big picture, more of the whole picture, to see other areas where the person is to be credited and is correct and not mistaken. It's more inclusive and open minded and recognizing calls for love rather than attacks. And without all the "taking it personal" it makes things a lot easier.

More forgiveness, less judgment. More acceptance less rejection. More love less hate. More inclusion less exclusion.

"And faith in innocence IS faith in sin, if the belief excludes ONE living thing, and holds it out, APART from its forgiveness."

"Our lessons now are geared specifically to widening horizons, and direct approaches to the special blocks which keep your vision narrow, and too limited to let you see the value of our goal."

"Each one must share one goal with someone else, and in so doing, lose all sense of separate interests. Only by doing this is it possible to transcend the narrow boundaries the ego would impose upon the self. Only by doing this can teacher and pupil, therapist and patient, you and I, accept Atonement and learn to give it as it was received."

In attempting to forgive the hell in the world, we might really be trying to make it real and then make it go away. This is an attack. The problem is that we have combined what the world IS (an unreal illusion), with a sense of reality, and now they appear to be one thing. This makes the world seem real.

To forgive or undo it, seems to entail getting rid of it entirely, in order to remove this illusory thing, and the reality gets thrown out with it, because the sense of reality seems tied to the world. As if you can't be free of the world without out also being free of its reality. So you try to throw the whole thing out at once.

But it is not actually the world that's real, and the sense of reality must NOT be thrown away. Instead, focus on allowing the world itself to be UNREAL, and let it "remain" as unreal, yet recognized as unreal, while you lift away from it the sense of reality. Give the realism back to God and let the world just be unreal. Take away the meaning you gave it and allow it to be meaningless world, because meaning belongs to God.

Let the world be an unreal world on its own, separate from the reality, and just reassign the reality to where it belongs. This allows you to not ATTACK the world or to effort to make it go away. It is merely re-framed it in the proper light - as the awareness of dreaming, in the recognition that the world is just a dream.

This awareness paves the way to allowing it to disappear naturally without force. Because when an illusion - an unreal world - is recognized AS an illusion, it must disappear. First take away its reality, then watch it vanish on its own. You must un-bind reality from the unreal world and take back the power you gave to it, first.

Look upon it as unreal, as without reality and without power, and then you are recognizing it for what it is. Recognizing it as unreal, given that you are still lingering in it for now, allows you to be in it but not affected by it. If the whole thing is unreal then it has no power, no will, no mind, no life, no meaning, no cause, no existence and no threat.

"For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes."

"The only effort you need make, to give this world away in glad exchange for what you did NOT make is willingness to learn THE ONE YOU MADE IS FALSE."

You might be angry with someone, you might be upset and annoyed about what they're doing or how they're treating you or others, but here's the secret.

There is no such thing as genuine anger.

Anger always has a secret motive of USING the other person to get rid of YOUR own sin and guilt. Always.

It's very convenient that anger comes across as though you are justified, outraged, offended, annoyed, as though it's entirely someone else who is wrong and not you.

And even in the midst of that anger or upset you will feel all hurt and victimized and unfairly treated, making it seem like this experience is something you totally do not want and have not asked for. You even think you want to get rid of the anger and make it go away. Except you don't.

It serves your secret plan to get rid of your deeper sin, which you've made unconscious to yourself.

You might complain, you might blame, but you're getting a huge benefit by maintaining this state of anger and upset.

You WANT other people to attack you, you WANT other people to hurt you, and you WANT them to do things to you so that you will have a great opportunity to find them guilty.

You'll then jump at the chance to accuse them, regardless of how upset you are or how much you perceive that you don't want this to be happening. You DO want it to be happening.

You are using other people to hurt you so that you can get revenge and get rid of your own sin. You're trying to make them wrong, think of them as the one who is wrong or bad, so that you have this opportunity.

So in your anger, it might seem as though you're upset because of what they are doing to YOU. But what about what you are doing to THEM?

Your desire to see them as wrong is an attack. Your desire to find them guilty is an attack. Your desire to pin the blame on them is an attack. This hardly justifies your innocence.

No-one else is ever the real cause of your upset. No-one else ever attacks you or makes you experience effects. No-one else puts the effects into you or into your body. No-one can do anything to you but your own mind.

You have to own up to this and admit that YOU believe you are sinful and guilty, regardless of whether other people seem to be accusing you. YOU believe it. And you need to undo that belief (go to the Atonement) if you are to be at peace.

Then having forgiven yourself for what you did not REALLY do (sin is not real), you'll be able to recognize that this other person was innocent all along, they were COMPLETELY uninvolved in what you were experiencing. They didn't cause any of it. You were just using them and doing it to yourself.

There is a risk of accepting the world. Because we have to be aware that our perception and beliefs have a lot to do with what we see in the world, or as the world.

If we are in ego and we believe the world is real, not an illusion, e.g. war is real, suffering is real, sickness is happening etc, and we try to "accept that", that's not going to work. Your belief in it as true and real will hold it in place and work against and effort to find peace about it. No one can ever find peace on the basis of believing the world's nightmares are reality. Trying to "adjust to" the world or accommodate it or "come to terms with it being shit" or "accepting that death happens" or trying to "die in peace" is all total ego bullshit.

We have to remember that whatever you accept into your mind becomes real to you. The world is not real. If you accept it into your mind "as real", through an act of "trying to accept everything that happens", you're going to be stuck. Accepting appearances as true is not right mindedness. Accepting that there "really is war, but I'm okay with it" is not right mindedness. Accepting that "I am sick but I'm at peace with it" is a lie. Accepting "something died but it's ok" is not really acceptance.

The only thing that can be truly accepted is true reality. Only the truth is true. You can accept the atonement truth, God's truth, as being true and real. It is acceptable while being simultaneously compatible with peace, because nothing unreal exists. Recognizing the world is an illusion, there is NOT really war, there IS no sin or sickness or death, is what brings peace, not trying to "integrate" a nightmare into your peaceful mindset.

We should focus on overlooking what the world is, which is forgiveness. NOT seeing it from a perspective which shows it to us as though it's really there and happening. Because otherwise we're just falling into an illusion, have false perception, believe a dream is reality, and now are trying to "withdraw" into the mind to sit on a fence of "i need do nothing" and pretend that this is peace. It's an illusion of peace.

You can only find true peace by accepting that only God's Kingdom is reality, nothing unreal exists, the world does not exist, and this is "acceptable" to you. You allow the truth ABOUT the world to enter your mind and accept it. You don't allow the FORM of the world to enter your mind or accept it as anything but false. Acceptance goes hand in hand with agreement, which goes hand in hand with belief in what's true. So you have to be careful what you are trying to find acceptance about. Getting "comfortable" with suffering is not peace or awakening or spiritual.

"The world you see must be denied"

When we talk of duality, non-duality, pure-non-duality, we're talking concepts.

Duality means polar opposites (good/bad, right/wring, up/down etc)

Non-duality usually means both opposites are one thing. This also usually means the opposites still exist, ie the world is real, but it's all one thing. Close to a Buddhist teaching for example.

Pure-non-duality typically means the world doesn't exist at all, ie neither opposites exists. Instead, it's contrasted against "God". ie, only God exists.

While the Course DOES teach "there is no world", there is a problem with saying it's pure-non-duality.

If we're being really, really pure about it, if it's logically true that only God exists, it is impossible for God to create, impossible for God to have a son or to create heaven, its impossible for there to be a sonship, there could not even have been a dream of death, and if there were a dream of death God would now have to be the one dreaming it.

That also means, if there is only God, that God is dreaming of death, God is dying, God is stuck in a body, God is "learning" (ie lacking), God is not whole, and God is an illusion.

That's a pretty big problem.

That's what pure nonduality really indicates if you are being REALLY pure about it.

At times Jesus does say things in the course which could imply otherwise but you have to be careful to discern what level he's talking at. When he says, "God is, and then we cease to speak".... he's not saying, God is... and there is nothing else... he's saying WE as individual creations cease to speak and we become one with - sharing with - the allness of God, but still retaining our individual free will.

It's useful up to a point to say, there is no world, only God exists. But if that's the scope of your grasp of the logic, then you're falling short. It puts God in a box, all by himself. And in that box, there is no creation, there is no expression or extension, there is no son.

Pure-non-duality means God does not even have one son, yet alone many. That's a problem. Without a son God is the one dreaming and dying, which is ridiculous. Without a son, God is a sinner and a separator, which is ridiculous. Without a son, God has no effects, therefore he is not causal, therefore he is not permanent, therefore he does not exist. That's a completely logical conclusion that you should come to if you really purely believe in pure-non-duality. What started out seeming to say only God exists, MUST mean God does not exist at all.

In order for God to have in any way at all a "son" or a "creation", something which is technically not 100% equated with Himself, it has to be possible that what God is does not stay inside a nice theoretical box. For God to create, and for God to cause an effect, and produce even one son, there has to be what the course calls a "natural grand division."

A "world", as ACIM defines it, is a natural grand division, or a projection outward, from God. God is complete in and of himself, but when he extends Himself to create, He creates something which is - in a sense - "outside of His own completeness" - an "addition" to what exists. Reality is increased by creating/sharing. ie It's talking about heaven/creation. It is "divided" from God in a natural way, which is normal and healthy. It all hinges around cause-effect.

God is cause. God produces effects. Effects of God are creations, which are expressions/extensions. The course says, "nothing real can be increased except by sharing." God has to share, meaning, there is some room here, or some freedom. It also says, that God gave his sons (plural) free will, which was necessary in order to allow them to create freely. The aim was that naturally the sons would create more love and joy and the kingdom would expand. It's only when sons mis-create that they go into separation dreams.

Since God is causing the Son, and the Son is an effect, and the Son is not causing God, there is a "natural" division in terms of roles or functions between God and His Sonship. It is natural. "Separation", in course terms, is an un-natural division. Division between God and Sonship is natural. It does not mean the same thing as separation. It does not mean there are walls up between each son or between sons and God. It means there are many individual free-willed souls each sharing fully and freely and openly with each other and with God.

Getting off topic slightly. But you can see that in order to allow for God to be alive, to be creative, to express and extend, to share, what God is MUST be more than a self-contained box. There is nothing "outside" of Him as such but souls still have free will within the scope of God, and share God. You can't really technically call this "pure non duality", because there isn't a duality but there ARE MANY SONS, and many creations, and many thoughts of God, and the sonship has many parts. There are more than 250 statements in the course pertaining to God directly creating multiple sons.

A multiplicity of sons is hardly in keeping with the idea of pure non-duality. It's not the same thing. It's not a state of "there is only God". It's a state of "there is god and god's creations." It's not a singularity. It's not a concept or a theoretical box. It's alive. It's creative. It's expressive. It's more than ego logic can describe or understand.

This is why the course is really not pure-non-duality. In a general broad sense, yes, it is, up to the point where you really take a look at heaven and God and creation and the sonship, and find out that there are in fact many parts to it. It's not just one big "blob". And each soul IS endowed with free will. Will is free when it chooses to extend freedom and love. It becomes blocked when we will against God's will and therefore will against our own will. That's what victimhood is all about - attacking ourselves with our own will. It's also the secret to salvation.

If you want ACIM to be pure-non-duality, you're not looking closely enough at the facts. God and Son are not one single thing pretending to be two. God does not dream. God has not separated from Himself. We are the ones who are responsible for dreaming of impossibilities.

There is one other big problem with trying to fit the course into a pure-non-duality model. The fact that in pure-non-duality there are no individuals and no individual free will. In pure-non-duality there are no souls. There is no permanent "self" distinct in some way from others, or naturally divided. That means, the pure-non-dual teachers constantly tell you that you do not have a self, or that you are not an individual. It is BULL SHIT. God created many sons and gave all of them free individual will.

Quote: "In the creation, God projected His creative ability from Himself to the Souls He created, and He also imbued them with the same loving will to create. The Soul has not only been fully created but has also been created perfect." - ACIM

Quote: "The world (heaven), in the original connotation of the term, included both the proper creation of man (souls/sons) by God and the proper creation by man in his right mind (his own free-will creations). The latter (the son’s ability to create) required the endowment of man by God with FREE WILL because all loving creation is freely given (God gave us freedom). Nothing in these statements implies any sort of level involvement (no separation)or in fact anything except one continuous line of creation in which all aspects (each aspect being a son of God with free will) are of the same order." - ACIM

You DO have a soul. You ARE an "free individual". You may not have an EGO. Having a separating ego is not the same thing as being a free-willed soul. Ego means putting up walls and unnatural divisions between you and others. Absence of walls does not destroy your independent freedom, it simply allows you to share fully and freely with others. To be one with them, without losing your own soul.

The peddlers of pure-non-duality peddle "you do not exist" paradigm, which leads many course people to believe they are supposed to deny themselves. It in fact produces censorship of the soul and leads you to believe you are supposed to be getting rid of yourself. It actually results in a belief that the soul is supposed to DIE ie not exist. That to be in God, you cannot be a self in any way. That to be awake, you must not have any sense of existing individually.

Also if there are no souls and no individual freedoms, then you are literally responsible for the shitty choices that everyone else makes, they are literally you, and you are just as dead as the person who just died. It's ridiculous. It IS true that you share a oneness but you simultaneously have independence. This is possible in a holographic model of heaven in which the all is in every part, ie God is in every soul, and yet each soul is distinct and whole and complete in and of itself. This produces a state of simultaneous sharing with the whole AND independence. This is not in any way a pure-non-duality teaching.

The ego has two parts to it, because the ego is a belief-system based on duality. Duality is based on separation. The ego mind is a 'split mind'. The ego mind is at war with itself and is in conflict. The ego mind pits one part of itself against another part of itself, attempting to make out that the two parts are not whole. It is a device for separation and self destruction.

The ego is therefore two-faced. It supports both sides of all arguments provided they are opposed to each other. It both attempts to protect itself and to hurt itself. It is a victimizer and simultaneously a victim. It exalts itself onto a pedestal of idol worship while at the same time loathing itself with hatred.

The first face of the ego is what psychology would call 'the persona'. This is a fake self-image, made as an attack on who you really are. It's a disguise. It's a veneer of positivity, attempting to focus exclusively on what you like, accept, allow, everything you deem special or valuable, all of your special/love relationships, your favorites, your preferences, and all forms of 'positive judgement'. The persona is the ego's surface facade, like the jewel-encrusted picture frame Jesus describes in ACIM, housing a dark twisted picture of hatred.

You can also see the persona manifesting in the world, for example in the design of many commercial objects, such as a car, whose exterior is made to look attractive and desirable and pleasing, while concealing all of the ugly, dirty, noisy, dangerous, icky 'inner workings' underneath. The persona focuses on a form of 'inclusion', and thus focuses on getting, wanting, desiring, taking, approving, and keeping. But, never to completion... always requiring that certain things are special because other things are not. It is also represented by our point of 'attention' or focus, which homes in on what we want to be aware of, and shuts out everything else.

The second face of the ego is the shadow. You can think of the shadow as the usually indirect implications of what the persona has given value to. So, if the persona is saying, this person is really special to me, as stated in many love songs, then this also means that 'everyone else' is less than special, i.e. in some way 'less than' or despised. So while we special-love some people, doing this automatically means that you special-hate others. That 'hate', seeming to be indirectly and less consciously focused on, goes 'into the shadows'. It gets stored and becomes part of the ego, just as much as the persona is part of the ego. The shadow is the part of the entire ego that has been rejected by the persona part.

So the shadow, albeit seemingly outside your awareness much of the time, becomes this storage place, or a 'room', in which you shove all of the bad, rejected, hated, feared, judged, condemned, unacceptable, wrong stuff that the persona directly or indirectly judges. The shadow houses everything the persona wants to get rid of. The ego persona loves to craft an 'idealistic life' where everything seems to be going smoothly and it includes only the stuff you seem to 'want'. And to achieve that, it has to suppress and repress and deny all of the other signs and symptoms of life sucking or not being what you want. So while you steadily build up a life of pleasantries and people-pleasing and denial and repression, you're secretly accumulating a huge shadow-full of destruction.

At some point that shadow content boils up into awareness, and attacks the persona-self. It attempts to destroy the persona self. So if you're identified with the persona-self, you'll experience it as though you are being attacked. This 'body of pain' (pain body) can come out of seeming unconsciousness and overwhelm the conscious mind, taking over the thoughts and producing total chaos in the person's life. And you will wonder where it came from. And this is also, btw, why 'bad things happen to good people'. Being 'good' is the persona, which generates 'hidden bad', which comes back to bite you in the butt.

So the ego has these two parts and both of them depend on and feed into each other. The shadow's rejection of 'the good' relegates the good stuff to the 'good room' of the persona, and the persona's denial of the bad relegates the bad stuff to a 'bad room' of shadows. It is self-conflict and self-abuse. Good and bad. Right and wrong. You can't believe one without believing the other.

Our challenge then is to stop using both of these. To learn when you are in the persona, which shifts and changes based on who you are with or what's happening and is thoroughly inconsistent. And to recognize when you might've shifted into the shadow-self, suddenly angered into a road-rage or filled with negative thoughts. We need to learn when we are in either the persona or the shadow, and learn not to choose either of these deceitful attitudes. They are both based in right/wrong, good/bad duality. You need to move instead to a point of view of, what is TRUE, and what is FALSE.

The truth shall set you free. Truth means, am I being completely honest and authentic by being in my persona-self, pleasing everyone and not showing anyone how I really feel, or censoring myself? Am I being really honest and authentic when I go into a rage and accuse others and speak hurtful words or attack myself with negativity? Is it TRUE and genuine that I am 'this fake self'? Is it true and genuine that I am an unworthy, hated, fearful victim? Is it true and genuine that I am an inconsistent, unreliable, fickle two-faced liar? We need to learn how to notice when we're in EITHER of the two ego faces, which particular facade we're putting on, and to decide to say NO to both.

When we say not to the persona and the shadow, we are saying yes to God. When we say no to dualistic thinking, we say yes to the mind of God. When we say no to the self-conflict that projects outwardly as parts of the world we like and parts of the world we don't like, we come into acceptance of the totality - what is. When we say no to the separation and split in our own mind, which we see outside of ourselves, we can come to an awareness of wholeness and presence. This is the way out.

But we have to always be careful, to stop feeding and building our shadow-self, an unconscious hidden face of the ego, by trying to be so perfect and ideal in the persona. They are both false. They are both lies. Who are you really? Where is your real personality? What is your genuine self? How will accept ALL of you, and not just a part of you? Each time you choose one thing and reject another, you are choosing one part of yourself and rejecting another. We need to learn to stop doing that. To use denial in a helpful way, to deny the ego entirely - to deny the persona and the shadow the ability to run our lives. To choose to be in the Holy Spirit.

Getting rid of our shadow stuff, all the stuff which our persona self thinks is the 'stuff that is wrong with us', that we 'need to get rid of', in order to 'become more spiritual', is a trap of the persona. It would have you get rid of all of the shadow, by shoving it into the shadow more, so that it is more unconscious, so that you can pretend to only be aware of the 'good stuff'. And then your focus on the good stuff will actually create even more bad stuff, because you can't sit on one end of the see-saw without the other end being affected.

The only way out is truth, honesty, awareness, responsibility, acceptance, wholeness, and the various other properties of a WHOLE mind, i.e. the right-mind, which becomes the one mind, united with God.

A light way to look at things and a dark way. It is similar to how, from above the clouds, the sun shines on everything, and yet beneath the clouds, everything looks dark and threatening.

Looking back toward the light with obstacles in the way, creates the impression of threat and danger and doom and gloom. When the clouds are there, the light seems obscured and it feels like you've got walls keeping you from it. It seems like you're trapped in a prison and that everything is against you.

Looking toward the light from a position of being separated from the light, by the clouds, creates the ego. The ego is an attempt to turn around and look back at God and find him blocked from vision as if he doesn't exist. And when the clouds are heavy, it will feel as if God doesn't exist, as if there is no light.

Shifting back into alignment with the source of light, means getting "above the battlefield", through and beyond the clouds, past the illusion of separateness and self importance, and turning around 180-degrees so that you too are a part of the light that shines outward. You need to become a sunbeam, of sorts, extending love outward.

Looking up to the sun with clouds between you is akin to the ego looking inside at itself. The ego wants to catch a glimpse of itself as if it really exists as a separate identity. What you are 'is', and you can't identify it as something separate from you. Yet when you're "under the weather" and trying to wrestle with upsets and darkness you keep trying to look 'at' yourself, similar to how you keep trying to look back at the sun. You don't really need to look at yourself or to look at the source of light, you need to BE IT.

Changing your vantage point changes your perspective. If your vantage point is rooted in your ego then your ego will do the looking and it will look toward the clouds and tell you the clouds are real and that you're separate from God. This will of course be frightening and horrifying. And it's not true, but it will seem true, and you will feel stuck.

Changing your vantage point to that of Holy Spirit (the sun) changes everything. It changes how everything looks to you and what it means. Your light shines ONTO everything you see illuminating it and revealing its beauty and happiness. It helps you to see clearly and fully. It helps you to not be deceived by the strange shadows that play out on the landscape when you are "in the dark". And it helps you to remember there is ALWAYS another way, ALWAYS a better way than any ego viewpoint.

And you need to be reminded... the light of God is always present and always available and always true and always powerful, and no amount of ego or darkness or horror will EVER obliterate it or shut it out or make it permanently lost. EVER. The light is always stronger than the darkness because the darkness is weakness. The light is always there. It is sanity. It is reason. It is truth. Sooner or later you have to admit to it and allow it and accept it and be it. You can prolong suffering but you cannot make it permanent. The light is calling to you to join it and to laugh at the silliness of the ego's mistakes.

God loves you.