Last night, there I was opening up to Jesus and allowing Him to do some healing in me. I was offering up experiences of rejection/abandonment and allowing Him to come in and heal them. Which he did.

It then occurred to me, as I connected with Jesus, a line of thought I'd not had before, about His nature.

When Jesus comes into my awareness, or rather, when I open up my awareness to admit He is with me ;-), I am always struck by his attitude.

If you can picture this... he comes across as though he is someone who is just sitting on a rock nearby. He doesn't appear to have any motivation. He doesn't seem to be in any way stirred. Like, he has absolutely no ambition. He isn't trying to go anywhere or get anything and has no sense of lacking anything at all. Like he absolutely no reason to move from where He is. He doesn't even barely seem interested in anything external to Him. I look for signs of the usual ... being lost in the days events, being driven with judgement or anger to get revenge, or anything like that, and I do not see it at all.

He sits there very quietly almost as though, and perhaps in actuality, like He is just completely finished with absolutely everything and there is no longer anything whatsoever that can interest Him externally. It's like he doesn't have any agenda of any kind, isn't excited about anything in particular, isn't associated with or caught up in anything, isn't distracted in any way. He just sits there. He is just very still and uninvolved. It's like, there is nothing for Him to do, and he isn't bored, he is just 'being'. But it's such a state of absolute ... no-ego-ness, that it always gives me the impression he doesn't give a fuck about anything.

Extreme detachment. Total detachment. He has absolutely no fear, no reason to move, no reason to do anything. It's like he's done with all illusions and is deceived by nothing. So he just sits there. And if I ask Him a question, he will eventually answer. Sometimes he will seem distant or even aloof but it's more like, if I go to Him with a question I'm almost interfering with his peaceful time. Except, he never gets upset whatsoever, and is never disturbed at all. He is just simply DONE with all illusions. And then he'll answer simply and sometimes brilliantly with great depth. And then it's as though, he still has his hands off. He doesn't push me to do anything, he doesn't assert any kind of special plan or motivation or reasoning. He doesn't defend anything and he doesn't have any apparent interest in getting inside of any of my issues. He just sits there, peaceful, calm, still.

What this then brought to mind for me was, and this would be blasphemous to many religious people. .. was a sense that this was the only way in which he and I could be EQUALS. Only by Him allowing me to be completely, and only by Him being Himself completely, were we then effectively BOTH EQUALLY FREE. His will was His own. Mine was my own. And neither will was attempting to control or manipulate or get involved with the other. Just totally hands off detachment. And in that, I felt like, there was absolutely no pretentiousness or arrogance or specialness or judgement or holier-than-thou. Just total equality. And no fear. Just being. Like a rock.

Effectively the "sonship" or Kingdom God created, is really a kind of "collective consciousness". Yes it's not what ACIM would officially refer to as consciousness, having nothing to do with perception etc, but we do SHARE mind. There is this one mind which houses many minds. It's similar to the Borg on Star Trek in that sense. Everyone is plugged into everyone, and indeed also acts "as one" in a giant collaborative way.

This also means that you are not just some separate chunk of the collective. Whereby other people are separate chunks, as if there are then wires connecting you together. But moreso you actually are everywhere and in everyone. And your brother IS part of you literally. You share your actual self with their self so fully they are basically one, yet two. You really are the whole collective, and are also part of it. The whole, and the part, as in a hologram.

What we call ego or separation, is what you get when you take someone who is part of AND all of this collective, and you try to "fence them off". To isolate them in a little prison with a wall around it, so that you can sort of say, this collective unit is now divorced from the collective, disconnected from the "hive mind", isn't sharing anything, can't "hear" the thoughts of the other brothers any more, and has now become "alone" or orphaned.

This self which was, and still is, part of the whole, sees itself as lacking the sense of relationship and sharing that unites it with the "rest" of the collective, which is also the rest of itself. And so it is kind of like a split off part of the whole, which was part of the whole, but has forgotten that it was whole. So now it sees itself as only a part, and only partial. Such a sense of identity is alone and lonely, isolated and like on a desert island, cut off and unable to relate or share.

To "undo the ego" is really a matter of reintegrating the rest of yourself, which means plugging yourself back into the whole sonship, to share everything with everyone, to have real relationship with all equally. That is really just a matter of taking away the separations - the walls - that seemed to imprison that part of the mind, so that that part of the mind is able to reconnect and integrate with the whole again.

We're not here in the business of exterminating parts of mind, we're actually in the business of setting them free from imprisonment. An imprisoned mind acts like an ego because it has limited itself. But when that same mind lets go its sense of selfishness, specialness, or exclusivity, it expands to return to the whole mind. This isn't really a destruction of your self, it's just a removal of the sense of separation which gave you a false sense of being small and limited.

In that sense, the part of your mind that believes it is an ego, lifts itself away from the "egotism" that imprisons it, the walls are transcended, the sense of self expands to be more inclusive, you become more than "just yourself", and all of this sense of isolation, loneliness, abandonment, fear, hiding, darkness, being trapped, being lost, etc, all that stuff goes, because the mind opens up to freedom and joining again.

You are returning to the family of God. The chains that bind you and keep you in a hellish prison are what need to be undone, not your "self". But while you live in the chains, you will see yourself as small and selfish because of what the chains imply about you. If you identify with the prison you become the prisoner. But you are more than the prison, you are only imprisoned by it if you give it the power to do so. The ego is a prison cell, not a self. It's like a trap that you've become stuck in, and all you need is to be set free.

ALL of your ego's functioning stems from a very very simple premise. Once you start to realize what this foundation is, it frames everything the ego does as just another example of this one thing.

The foundation of the ego is simply the suggestion that you are not love - the love is not in you or what you are - so you are deprived of it - so now you need to go restore the sense of lack by finding it somewhere ELSE other than in you. You go off hunting for a way to fill the emptiness, which reinforces your belief in the emptiness. And even if you find something, it won't heal the sense of LACK, and you won't accept it, because it's not really what you want. You want yourself back. You want God's love.

The separation of your identity from God's Son leads to:

Seeking outside yourself

Creating sickness

All idol worship

Creating fear

All attack

All victimhood

All loss and grief and loneliness

All sense of abandonment and rejection

Seeing yourself as separate from God and others

Having nothing to depend on ("independence")

Insanity

Not being true to yourself

Seeking for what you lost where it does not exist and not finding it

Losing even more of what you are by being compelled to replace it

A belief that you can die

All vulnerability and sense of threat

Mistrust (in yourself)

All paths efforting to 'find yourself' but remain separate

The spiritualized ego

The inability to share or join

Condemnation and judgement and blame (of yourself)

Shame and guilt for who you are

Unworthiness and unloveability

Suffering and suicide and war (with yourself)

All anger and upset and disasters and terrible events

...And on and on.

Just this one thing. This one idea of - I'm not myself - where am I - who am I - I am separate from what I am - I am not as God created me - leads to all of these other dynamics and activities and perceptions.

You can't have any of them without this one foundation - this sense of separation from yourself. And since you and God are one, it is simultaneously a sense of separation from God.

"A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct." - ACIM

And here's the clincher. Every single one of those things on that list above that you currently believe are caused by all kinds of things OTHER than the ego's foundation, are NOT caused by anything other than the ego's foundation. And so it is the sheer 'fact' of 'being' an ego - separate from the love you are - that causes every single problem you face. All hell comes from it. Being separate from God and your True Self is the ONLY problem that needs correction. All other problems are illusory problems masking the one problem so that you will not correct it.

So each time I am in the ego, in some way I must be believing that I am separate from God and myself. I must be going down some path which tells me it's going to help me RESTORE who I am and what I lost, BUT which will NOT restore it, because the entire NEED for that path comes from believing I LACK what I'm looking to restore, and until I stop beleiving that I won't ever be able to ACCEPT that I HAVE WHAT I REALLY HAVE ALREADY.

You ARE as God Created you. You ARE love already. This you need to accept, and let go of all these other ego pursuits that trick you and lead you away from it. Everyone is being deceived by the ego's suggestions of everything you need to do to 'fix' the separation, which seem to lead you to resolution but in fact lead you to an EVEN WORSE situation. Seek and do not find. Fix and do not correct. Pursue and fail. Search and lose. Try to have and do not have at all. Hold on and lose everything. This is all the ego's deceit.

One error, one correction. Holy Spirit's is the Answer from God because He Knows the solution to this problem - that the problem really IS NOT REAL. You are NOT separate from God or Your Self and the separation NEVER HAPPENED. So you are love. And that is why you need do nothing.

You are in a dream world. Everything here is symbolic. Nothing that appears visible is whole, because symbols are not the whole of something. Symbols represent something beyond themselves, and all physical matter is symbolic of something greater.

Physical matter, at all, is symbolic of the idea of separation and fragmentation. The multitude. The opposite of oneness.

The physical body is symbolic of the idea that you are separated from the whole and are only a part of it.

Outer space is symbolic of the unconscious mind in which anti-matter is unconscious guilt, and stars are all that's left of a light which was once everywhere.

All bodies, be they stars or planets or people or animals, are symbolic of the ego, individuate identities roaming around cut off from the rest.

Clouds, above which the sun shines, are symbolic of blocks to awareness, in which sunlight on a clear day is symbolic of seeing clearly.

Light and darkness, visibility and shadows, are symbolic of the polarization of good vs bad, persona and shadow, as well as symbolic of the light of truth vs the obstruction of darkness.

Even in the physical world, when light shines, it obliterates the darkness, being symbolic of the way that the light of truth shines away illusions.

Things that happen in the world are symbolic as well, being shifts in symbolism and psychological content, and this is also why most of your dreams at night become even more symbolic representations of what happened in the day.

Waking in the morning is symbolic of awakening from unconsciousness and sleep. Going to sleep at night is symbolic of going into unconsciousness and dreaming of a world that doesn't exist.

The people you meet are symbolic of other stuff in your life. Phases of life are symbolic. Certain events happening and significant life changes are symbolic.

The sky is symbolic of heaven, the Earth symbolic of hell.

Each time that you experience rejection or abandonment or separation, it is symbolic of the separation from God.

Each time that you experience a sense of loss and grief, it is symbolic of the loss of God.

Each time that something suddenly comes out of the blue and changes things for the worse, it is symbolic of the moment of the separation from God and the sudden entry into terror and sin.

Everytime something is born or dies, it symbolizes the limitation of form and the fact that it must have a beginning and and, making it inherently mortal.

Each time there is intense weather and storms, it is symbolic of stormy attitudes in the public and the threat of punishment.

Each time someone says a prayer, it is symbolic of commitment to God and an acknowledgement of reality.

Birth is symbolic of the separation from God. Death is symbolic of succeeding in separating from God.

Pretty much everything that you do in your so-called physical life is SYMBOLIC. Your body is MADE of a symbol. All of the events in your life are symbolic. It all represents ideas and concepts in the greater mind.

By not realizing that everything going on in your life is symbolic, and that this is entirely a DREAM, and that there is not ANYTHING that isnt symbolic, you instead focus on appearances of objects and events, as though you're seeing the entirety of what it is. This means you are turning symbols into 'things' in their own right, as though they don't allude to anything else and really have no symbolic meaning. You look at meaningless "form" in this way and then project other meanings onto it, but the only reason you think it is meaningless is because you are in denial that you're in a symbolic dream.

All around you everything that's happening right now is symbolic. All of the objects in your room are symbolic or representative of something. Every event that happened today was symbolic of the separation from God. Every time something "happened" in form it was symbolic of sin happening, proving your guilt.

This world is not a world of end results or finite objects or mortal bodies or stuff that is "complete" in its own right. Nothing is WHOLE here. Everything is a symbol, and is less than whole, and less than perfect. There is stuff missing that you do not see. There is more than meets the eye.

If you look into it, you might start to recognize some of the symbols in your life, that certain people are symbolic of other people, or that certain relationships are symbolic of certain ways that you are relating to God. You think this world is physically real and objective and final. It is not at all. It is a dream, and dreams are always made of symbols, meaning that there is always something ELSE that they're not showing you. To OVERLOOK the symbols, to forgive, and to shift awareness to the WHOLE MEANING, awakens you from the dream.

Sweet dreams.

God's will for us is perfect happiness, all the time. Total safety, love, blessing, peace, joy, no problems, perfect health, invulnerability, miraculousness, innocence. The end of sadness, grief, pain, sickness, fear and death. God wants this for us all the time. Do we want this? Why aren't we happy and at peace right now?

If you ask yourself, as you experiencing what God wills right now, the answer is probably that you do not really want it. If we're honest, we're not in that state. So what must that mean?

If God wills that we be happy and we are not happy, we must not want what God wills. We must be WILLING to experience something opposite, something unlike happiness. That means we must WANT to experience being unhappy. We don't want God's love. This is reflected in:

"I must have made a wrong decision because I am not at peace. I made the decision myself..."

If I am not happy or at peace, I must have WILLED, chosen, wanted, to be unhappy. It was a mistaken and poorly-made decision, made in egotism. So now we are unhappy and are trying not to do God's will. And it isn't bringing us joy because we don't want joy.

So if we get honest, this means unless we are having that experience of perfection and joy, we DO NOT WANT God's will. Which equates to, we do not really want God either. It must mean that something in us actually doesn't want it, doesn't like it, doesn't believe in it, resents and rejects it, doesn't believe it deserves it, fears it, etc. The appropriate name for that something is "the ego".

We have to be willing to look at this. Somewhere in us, if we're not doing God's will perfectly all the time, there is a desire to suffer. There's a sense of animosity toward God. There's some kind of rebellion going on. There's this part of us that does not want to wake up, does not want to be free, does not want to do God's will, does not want to be happy and does not want what God is offering.

It's not a pretty thing to admit to. Either I want God or I don't. You can kind of feel the sense of "attack" that the ego in us has toward God. We've kind of left God in a way, pushed Him away and distanced ourselves from Him. This recoil into darkness has made part of our mind twisted and unwilling. We're going to have to seek out and remove these blocks to being WILLING to be aware of love's presence.

We might be saying we want awakening or atonement or forgiveness or God but if we're not experiencing it NOW, some part of us does not want it. We have the freedom to decide that, but pretending we're not doing that is just more denial. The ego in is us kind of disgusted with God, feels vengeance, holds grievance against Him, resents a perceived abandonment, feels guilty and unworthy of Him, and is really at odds with His will.

God's will is supposed to be shared with us, and is so supportive and rewarding, that there should be no reason not to want it. It showers us with blessing and our divine inheritance. It gives us eternal life, freedom from all suffering and death, and eliminates all nightmares. It makes us happy and at pace and invulnerable. Just as "forgiveness holds everything I want".

And even if we think we want something else, something not of God, we can't possibly genuinely really want it, deep down. And so we've accepted that we want something that we don't really want, as a substitute for God, knowing full well that "The Son of God cannot be happy unless he knows he is with God."

This is what the gap of separation is all about. There is this "distance" we have between our ego and God. And our egotism wants to maintain and increase that gap. It's a relationship problem. An unholy relationship between God and our sense of self. We actually need to "forgive God" and learn to trust Him again. And in order to do His will without seeing it as "what we don't want to do", we have to be fully willing to embrace it as entirely on our side, helpful to us, supportive of us and in our best interests. It has to match what we want.

Any egoic sense of not wanting what God is offering, is keeping us unaware of His love. We're like pouting children hiding in a corner not wanting to cooperate, even though our parent only wants to love and support us. We keep saying no to reality. We keep saying yes to a wide variety of other distractions and meaningless things that we think we want more. But all the idols of the world are set up to be artificial forms of meaning and value, designed to keep you turning away from God and wanting something other than Him.

If we're to be willing to do God's will, to go where he sends us, to heal as we let Him teach us to heal, to be truly helpful, then we need to look at these ways that we are denying the truth, blocking God from loving us, not accepting atonement and believing things that are various forms of attack. God loves us, and His will for us is completely positive and enriching. Our inheritance is tremendous. Are we willing to allow ourselves to be loved again? Are we really willing to let go of our protest against Life and resurrect into eternal happiness?

As an immortal being, you should be accustomed to everything always being perfect. You live forever, everyone you know lives forever. There’s no sickness or suffering of any kind. No death, no destruction. Nothing ever goes wrong, no problems, no situations to solve or things to fix. Nothing ever malfunctions, there’s always perfect happiness.

So then consider, what is this fucked up state that we’ve gotten ourselves into? This nightmare that we’re having. Truly it is a nightmare when we suddenly start to regard there as being something wrong with someone. Something isn’t working. Someone is partly broken. Somehow things are happening that should never happen. Stuff starts showing up out of nowhere which should be impossible. Horrors and traumas and tragedies suddenly erupt seeming to topple all sense of immortality. Sudden sicknesses take hold of the eternal and render them inept. What was created to live forever is suddenly destroying itself.

What kind of madness is this? This is the state of mind, and world, and identity, which we have opted to enter into, instead of being as God created us. It is an insane nightmare, in which things which absolutely should never be happening seem to be happening all the time. It is so incredibly alien to us. It is so wrong. It is so not of God and not one single speck of this cruel world could ever be even conceived of by the immortal beings of heaven. How horrifying that anything could even remotely go wrong, anything would break down, anything could suffer or die in any way. Truly a nightmare, and completely unnatural. This world is not my home.

"Principle 23 ... YOU are a miracle. God creates only "that which, or one who, is of surpassing excellence or merit". Man is capable of this kind of creation, too, being in the image and likeness of his own Creator. Anything else is only his own nightmare, and does not exist. Only the Creations of Light are real."

“Pain is but witness to the Son's mistakes in what he thinks he is. It is a dream of fierce retaliation for a crime that could not be committed; for attack on what is wholly unassailable. It is a nightmare of abandonment by an Eternal Love Which could not leave the Son whom It created out of love.”

“Your wildest misperceptions, your weird imaginings, your blackest nightmares all mean nothing. They will not prevail against the peace God wills for you. The Holy Spirit WILL restore your sanity, because insanity is NOT the Will of God.”

“Learn that even the darkest nightmare that disturbed the mind of God's sleeping Son, holds no power over him. He WILL learn the lesson of awaking. God watches over him, and light surrounds him.”

“Let us not save nightmares, for they are not fitting offerings for Christ, and so they are not fit gifts for YOU. Take off the covers, and look at what you are afraid of. Only the ANTICIPATION will frighten you, for the reality of nothingness cannot be frightening.”

If you take a look back at your life, or even your life right now.... if you examine all the things that ever happened that you were UPSET about, you will find that every single one of them was because some form of SEPARATION was happening.

Grief and loss from the death of someone you know, arose because of a sense of separation or ending.

Being in a panic over losing a job, entering into fear, was a condition of separation from safety and abundance.

Fighting with a coworker over some stupid power struggle, was all to do with you seeing each other as having separate interests.

All sense of unworthiness that came from rejection or abandonment, was all to do with you seeming to be separate from value or separate from that which values (God).

In every case, EVERY case, every single 'form' of upset, although they all look very different and you have many many different words to describe the 'specifics' of a situation, ALL of them were forms of separation in one way or another.

That is because the ONLY problem is separation. And it is only ONE problem. And it has one solution: healing/unity/atonement.

So really, each time we get upset, we need to realize, this isn't really an isolated upset. This isn't a unique upset that is unlike all the others. In fact, it's just another form of the same problem. It's just one more disguised, distorted variation of the same single problem, the same single temptation, the same single puzzle, which is being presented to you by the ego. It only has this one tool to use against you, so it dresses it up in different 'forms and specifics' to try to get you to believe that this isn't the same problem that you encountered last time. It's very deceptive that way. Appearances are very deceptive.

Look deeper. This upset about money is the same as the upset about your parents, the same as the upset about someone dying, the same as the upset about lacking friends, the same as the upset about becoming sick, the same as the upset about something you saw on the news etc. We are so deceived by the ILLUSION of appearances... based on forms ("nothing so blinding as sight of form" - ACIM), that we do not see the similarities. We do not see the generalization of the lesson. We do not realize.. ..."its all the same trick". It's the same single trick, just one problem showing up in different disguises.

If you can latch onto that, which the ego DOES NOT want you to realize, which is the whole point of why it uses ILLUSIONS to create the ILLUSION that there are many many many completely separate problems, then you are homing in on the underlying single 'issue' that needs to be RECOGNIZED as the same single issue. The single CORE of the ego. The one problem of separation from God, from which AAAAAAALL other suffering stems. ALL of it. And thus you need but one solution. IF you can recognize all problems as one problem, then you will become willing to surrender them all in favor of the ONE SOLUTION, which is Holy Spirit.

The truth is quite abstract. Don't be fooled by a world of illusions!

If when you feel angry you can actually acknowledge that you really feel afraid, the anger will often deflate in a matter of seconds, if not instantly.

Energetically speaking, the fear energy turns into anger when it intensifies and projects, or when the apparent cause of the fear seems to be getting worse.

Being afraid means you see yourself as a victim and as attacked, which means you also see yourself as unfairly treated, which means you think you are justified in being angry because something's happening that you didn't ask for. So anger arises out of a perceived fearful situation.

Since the anger is based on the fear and doesn't really have its own foundation, and is made to DENY the fear, if you acknowledge that you're actually really afraid, it completely shuts off the generation of anger. It doesn't deny it or hide it, it simply disappears. What this means is you've moved up the ladder, or rewound the chain of cause and effect, to where you are now willing to 'stay with' the fear rather than build upon it. The anger will simply disappear when you admit to this.

So let's say something is happening to someone close to you and it scares the shit out of you. And maybe there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it. And maybe you depend on that person and if that person has an issue, then .... who is going to look after you, or where are you going to get your ego needs met? So then you perceive that your own needs are going downhill as a result of the other person, which is frightening. And because you perceive that you depend on the other person to save you, and they can't even save themselves, you're going to get angry at them for failing to give you what your ego wants. This will make you snowball into a spiral of fear and anger, as you practically demand that the other person get out of their situation.

Secretly this is based on ego selfishness and your own dependent and fearful ego needs, which if unmet by the special relationship, sends you into a spiral of desperation. As soon as you can admit this and realize that YOU have a problem, YOU are afraid, YOU need help, this will dissolve the entire expression of desperation and demands, deflate all of the 'anger' completely, and put you in touch with what really needs to be healed ... your ego ego attachment and dependency and belief in your OWN inadequacy, which the other person is just triggering off to show you.

Once you admit to being afraid, you might have an emotional release, and this will actually shed a lot of light on the situation and show you that it is not as bad as you thought. The other person was probably being attacked by your dependency on them, and by your fear, and by your own neediness, and this was showing you a worse perception than was really called for. Things are not as bad as they seemed, once you do this. And then you can work with Holy Spirit on healing your OWN issues of desperation, whether they be fear of abandonment or rejection or 'who is going to love me' or 'how do I get my needs met be other people'.

There is a plan for salvation. Honestly is the vehicle, Holy Spirit is the destination.

While doing a fervent forgiveness process, I started to think of my relationship with God. This is where things get juicy. We might not think of whether we are really loving God because we typically are not aware of God, he's not exactly popping up in front of our faces or coming along to trigger us. But there is certainly a hefty body of emotional and psychological disturbance in between us and Him.

So I started to forgive God, along the lines of looking at what I believed I had done to God, and what I believed God had done to me. This included looking into whether I believed I'd sinned against him, hurt him, offended him, upset him, made him angry, changed him, etc.. and vice versa whether God had ever attacked me, sinned against me, hurt me, rejected or abandoned me, judged me, etc.... all ending up with the firm resolution that no, none of this had occurred. And then once that was out of the way, it's possible to more directly accept atonement and see that God still loves you and finds you innocent and so on... the relationship with God heals.

Jesus told me this was "good", to look into this and forgive God for what I thought He'd done to me, and to forgive myself for what I thought I'd done to him. None of it had really happened or had any truth to it. This was all beautiful and lovely. But you can bet this led to a MAJOR catharsis afterwards. I've found this before as well. If I receive a shit-ton of love from God, it can trigger extremely deep catharsis. We all probably have some deep unhealed shite surrounding our direct relationship with Him, and this stuff has to be brought to light and healed.

"Today's idea will eventually overcome completely ***the sense of loneliness and abandonment all the separated ones experience***. Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering and intense fear of loss."

All of this stuff has to be healed. Every separated self experiences this automatically. We are all, with egos, experiencing a belief in being abandoned by God, rejected, alone, afraid, unworthy etc. No one is excluded from this. Until atonement is accepted and we are reunited with God we are forced into a state where depression, anxiety, fear, worry, loss, helplessness, misery, suffering, sickness etc are all part of the territory. It's a very deep sense of suffering that keeps God's love at a distance.

Our relationship with God must be healed of all of these horrors and looking directly at these things is not easy. It requires that you "forgive God" and yourself in relation to him, to directly undo the "separation" between you and Him, and thus the separation itself. It's one thing to forgive your brothers, but you MUST also forgive God everything you've ever accused Him of or believed true of Him in error. And make no mistake this can be the biggest emotional hurdle you will encounter because it has been ongoing for many lifetimes, through all worldly experiences, and for the whole time you have been away from home.

But often you feel vulnerable.

Vulnerability is an experience of feeling exposed, accessible, hurt-able, noticeable, visible, targeted and attacked. When you are vulnerable you perceive that the whole world is out to get you.

Experiencing vulnerability is a familiar state that you normally refer to as "afraid". It's another word for it. You can't help but experience what you call 'fear' when you are seeing yourself as being attackable.

However, this sense of being vulnerable has only come about because you have created an enemy within your own mind. You've projected this enemy onto other people or situations, thinking they now are the cause of the threat, but the enemy is still in your own mind. And since you created it, you can undo it.

It is therefore possible to stop feeling vulnerable, and to re-access a state of INVULNERABILITY.

Any form of resistance will create a division in your mind, a separation, and will make your mind be "split". Literally, your mind seems to take on two identities, one which experiences itself as being victimized, and the other which experiences itself as being a victimizer.

Usually the part that is a victim uses denial and disassociation to block awareness that the victimizer part is also a part of the same mind. It is the victim's resistance to the victimizer that makes it a victim in the first place, and denies and therefore projects the victimizer into being. The victim then does not perceive that they themselves are the cause of their own victimization, that they are literally doing it to themselves within their own mind, that their mind is in a state of self-attack, and that they therefore could do something to stop it.

A sense of vulnerability must occur as soon as you have made yourself unwhole. This can happen in many forms including self-abandonment, self-attack, self-rejection, denial, believing in enemies, resistance to the truth, trying to block awareness, blame, scapegoating, trying to stop things from happening, being controlling, not accepting everything as it is, etc. These are all forms of separating and putting up walls. And putting up walls, experientially, actually takes down walls in your mind, producing an experiencing of having become exposed to something that you were previously safe from.

You can't feel safe while you are attacking yourself.

What you can realize though, is that it is YOU that is attacking yourself, and it has nothing to do with anyone else. Immediately you will feel significant reduction in the experience of exposure and vulnerability, if you can remind yourself that you are not being affected by other people or situations. They are NOT the cause. That alone will relieve much of your anxiety. This also deflates some of your belief in separation and your resistance to yourself. But you need to take it further and undo as much as you can of the split that's happened inside your own self.

Quite literally, you can become completely invulnerable. Or rather, recognize that your invulnerability is still completely intact and was simply blocked from your awareness when you thought you were vulnerable. You can become whole, free of the split mind of the ego, and experiencing your SELF as free of attack. In such a state, there is nothing outside of you which can bring about an internal experience of attack, and therefore you are invulnerable to everything. Nobody can give it to you or take it away. If you do not choose to believe in attack, you will have no enemies. And then you will enjoy peace of mind.