Believing is receiving.
Believe in God, you will receive eternal life.
Believe in ego, you will receive suffering and death.
You receive because you believe in it. You believe it is your truth. Your reality. And what you deserve. You receive it because you make it happen.
When you believe in God, you join with God's will and create with Him and thus receive what you create.
When you believe in ego, you join with the ego's will and create with it and thus receive what you create.
Whatever you are receiving, it reflects what you are believing in.
You can't have a belief which is disconnected from what you receive, and you can't be in a state where you believe one thing and receive something else.
If you want to receive a miracle, you need to receive God, by believing that His truth is your truth.
If you want the results of the miracle but you don't want the alignment with God that's required to receive it, to choose it, you won't receive it. That's how sickness and suffering remain.
You get to choose what to believe in.
No matter what you do you are innocent!
This is true, but it is grossly misunderstood and misused by the ego.
In order for this truth to apply, you have to BE in your innocence. It can't be intellectual. You can't use it to justify murder.
You first have to get yourself into your innocence, so that your innocent isn't just an informational fact, it's an experiential fact. And in order to experience innocence, that places you in the mind and being of LOVE.
It is not possible to experience such innocence without aligning yourself with love.
Therefore, once you ARE aligned with love, you are in your innocence, and whatever you do WILL be innocent. Or to put it another way, no matter what you do, it WILL be loving - and it will never prove you are guilty.
It's only when you take this fact and try to apply it to life without the experience/alignment with its truth (truth is an experience not intellectual information!), that you distort it and then use to justify actions that you perform not based on love, such as that it is okay to hurt someone or "do bad things" etc.
When you do that, you have "level confusion". You've attempted to take something that it is a truth on a higher level of metaphysics, which can only be *experiential*, and are attempting to apply it to a level of existence that is not experiential, where there is separation between you and the truth. And that's why it turns into justification for war. And this is also why religions have led to more wars than most any other cause.
No matter what you do, you are innocent, free, forgiven, loved and loving. But if you're not truly authentically living from such a state of being, then beware your ego's misuse of it.
While you are believing that your ego is your real self, and as you attempt to do something about this to wake up spiritually, you're going to be pulling that ego self along for the ride.
It does not want to come along for the ride and can't. Its way of perceiving, which you have made your own, must see the approach towards truth and God as dangerous. Your attempt to expose your "self" to the truth will be seen as an attack, and is highly offensive.
This is why every time you (ie your ego-aligned self) tries to allow some light in or tries to become more spiritual, you inevitably find this strong voice emerges in you which retaliates. You have this big ego rebound where you feel all hurt and afraid and abused, as though someone just told you that you don't exist and aren't worth anything.
Your alignment with the ego while simultaneously trying to wake up from it, makes you try to wake up WITH it, and thus to wake IT up. But it cannot awaken. It is purely a device for separation and is illusory. It doesn't have a life of its own without your support.
When you try to pull it towards the truth or transform it, which produces the "spiritualized ego", you might well create an illusion or persona of looking and acting "like" someone who would be spiritual. But deep down you will have this part of you that deeply mistrusts and is threatened by what you are trying to do. Like a hurt child, that part of you will attack the part of you that's trying to pull it into the light.
Over time I've seen how personally I attempted to become more spiritual, for example by writing things which seemed as spiritual as possible. And it produced a lot of backlash for the "rest" of me that was still identified with the ego and didn't want to wake up.
When I was writing my first book, I really believed that I was opening up to light and truth and it was powerful and healing, BUT at the same time it was very painful. I felt like I was flogging myself to death, or sacrificing, or attempting to push myself to the brink of tolerance. I had a lot of ego rebounds.
Partly I felt that I was approaching truth more but there was a big chunk of me that was still holding on tightly to the false idea that I was the ego, and was trying to change "it" into something more spiritual. It could not change and did not want to and saw my attempts as deeply hurtful. And so because I was aligned with that, I experienced deep hurt along with it. I kept trying to be more spiritual in my persona.
While you're "seeking" for spiritual truth this is pretty much a given that this is going to be your experience. So long as you believe you are the ego self, that part of you is not going to like or want or believe in or see sense in the truth. It is going to be threatened by it, offended by it, hurt by it, it's going to take it to mean things it doesn't really mean, and because the truth proves that the ego does not exist, your alignment with ego is going to imply you do not exist. And that's just going to scare the shit out of you.
Gradually over time, making all of these mistakes, yearning to be closer to God, willing to push my "self" (idea of self) towards the truth, and going through endless rebounds, I think I've gradually lessened the belief I have in the ego.
Letting the ego GO is really the only way to become "more spiritual". It's not through changing it at all. It's not through making it more spiritual. The only way to be free is to be free of IT, which means your sense of who you are, your identity, your definition of self, MUST shift from ego to your Higher Self, or Holy Spirit (right mind etc).
The ego can't shift there with you. If you try to take your ego self there and pretend that you're doing it, you will just enact the ego's bungie cord. Like an elastic band it will just pull "you" right back to its territory, and the more you are trying to pull it away from its territory the stronger the rebound is going to be.
This is exactly what produces reincarnation - the attempt to get out of the world without really letting it go, elasticly brings you right back into it because you still belive you are made of it. Exposing ego to too much light will burn it, and with you believing it is yourself YOU will experience that suffering, and you will flee from the light right back into the body.
Gradually, we have to let the ego identity go and awaken FROM it to realize that it is not who or what we are. Everything it perceives is not our real perception. Everything it believes about itself cannot be what we believe about ourselves. Everything it trusts in cannot be what we trust. We have placed our faith in it and are attached to it. We have to let go and "surrender" its position to make room for God.
Waking up is painful. If we could see the areas where we believe in the ego and could simply gently relax and let go of them without adding threat to them or making them confused that we're trying to imply things which are not true or real to it, then perhaps we can awaken more gently. But that kind of ability probably only comes from a more awakened self that is able to discern lovingly. In the midst of the ego we rarely have such clarity and compassion and tend to step on our own toes all the time.
Often when I become more aware of truth and want to really "get it quickly", which can also be spurred by the ego because it knows that if you "do a lot of course" you will have such a reaction to it that maybe you'll stop doing it, using it to attack you, I'll just do too much too quickly. I will have deep emotional releases and become overwhelmed. It will also become frightening.
When I started to see that sin was not real and that it could only be my belief that I sinned that is keeping me from God, I went looking for the sin in me to try to undo it all, and that was simply too much at once. I spazzed-out for a few days and it was not at all pleasant. I had to stop and take it slower. Baby steps.
There are also times where I write about the Course a lot and maybe go into overdrive and am writing several times a day, and it all seems so wonderful and truthful and inspiring but then comes the parts of me that are still holding onto lies and they fly up into my awareness like a slap in the face. How DARE you claim that that's true! How COULD you believe that! Stop it!
By all means take a big leap if you are genuinely ready and can do so without the huge ego backlash, but otherwise, take your time and be gentle on yourself. Take a break.
Start off by believing that something will heal - that God will heal it. Maybe something in yourself that needs healing, or in someone else.
Get a sense of how 'much' you believe this. How much certainty do you have? How much do are you so convinced that you have absolutely unshakeable doubtless certainty and zero fear?
Now, push your sense of belief into a whole other ballpark by transforming it into expectation. Adopt a perception of EXPECTING that healing must occur. Expect as strongly as you can.
You should notice a sense of your belief changing from 'just a belief' tinged with uncertainty, to a very focused, intent, direct, piercingly certain kind of 'demand'. It transforms into power. It transforms into a sense of REQUIRING that the healing occur. Of commanding it to occur. That it MUST occur. Be as convinced of this as you can.
When I do this I feel a sense of some kind of focus or something come down through my upper body down into my belly area. This could be Holy Spirit or your own Spirit.
The closer you can get to absolute certainty the more likely it is that you will start to feel Holy Spirit start to move and flow. The stronger the sense of expectation the better. It's okay to be practically 'demanding'. This is "Authority".
You as a Child of God have authority over all illusions. Another word for this is "dominion" (biblically, we are told we have dominion over the Earth - this is what it means). You extend the Authority of Christ in a kind of 'legal' way. You legally have the right to command illusions. To command sickness to leave. To command ego to be undone.
As such when you enter a state of firm belief and expectation, you are also joining with Christ. Being One with Christ is an important aspect of miracle working, and is also why you need to ask Jesus what miracles to perform and for him to help you perform them. You need alignment with Christ/certainty in order to perform them.
You also need to remain in certainty regardless of what physical appearances seem to suggest, regardless of evidence or lack thereof that healing has occurred, regardless of any kind of illusions or any signals coming from the ego world that suggest anything contrary to this firm conviction. This is why you must believe it in your MIND, in cause, and the illusion/body must follow to demonstrate what the mind believes is true.
It's somewhat a course myth that "you need to do forgiveness."
The course is actually saying that you do NOT need to be forgiven, because God created you so perfectly that you could never possibly do anything that would require forgiveness.
What it does say is that you do not RECOGNIZE your eternal changeless innocence, and so the only seeming need you have is to WAKE UP TO THE REALITY OF your innocent state.
That's matter of recognition and acceptance of what already is. It is nothing to do with you putting that innocence in place. This is why "atonement" or the seeming process of healing and correction, really is more of an UNDOING or stripping away of all the bullshit lies that you've placed on top of your perfect innocent self, to claim that you're not innocent, even while still continuing to be innocent underneath.
So forgiveness and salvation are not actually something you really need as such. In truth you are forgiven arleady. The Holy Spirit already sees you as perfect. The only "problem" is only in the mind, and it is only in terms of you seeming to block out, deny, not want, or be unwilling to admit to, the ACTUAL CONTINUED TRUTH of your innocent self.
So if it seems there is any forgiveness "to be done", that simply means that you are out of touch with the fact that THERE ISN'T, and whatever process of awakening and recognition you need to go through to open up to and accept that TRUTH, you could maybe call "practicing forgiveness".
But it isn't in any way a practice to put forgiveness in place, or to make you be forgiven. It is purely a matter of you being OUT OF ALIGNMENT with the innocence God gave you already.
Forgiveness recognizes that there is nothing to forgive. Healing recognizes that there is nothing to heal. Peace recognizes there is nothing that has ever disturbed your peace. Love recognizes that there is only love to love. And your immortality recognizes that you never even began to be mortal.
"YOU need NO forgiveness, for the wholly pure have never sinned. Give, then, what He has given you, that YOU may see His Son as one, and thank his Father, as He thanks YOU."
"Let me, then, use this dream to help Your plan that we awaken from all dreams we made."
"You are still My holy Son, forever innocent, forever loving and forever loved, as limitless as Your Creator, and completely changeless and forever pure. Therefore awaken and return to Me. I am Your Father and you are My Son."
"Forgiveness is the key to happiness. I will awaken from the dream that I am mortal, fallible, and full of sin, and know I am the perfect Son of God."
"The betrayal of the Son of God lies only in illusions, and all his "sins" are but his own imagining. His REALITY is forever sinless. He need not be forgiven but AWAKENED. In his dreams he HAS betrayed himself, his brothers and his God. Yet what is done in dreams has not been REALLY done."
Boiling ACIM down to pure logic, we end up with this.
"Only the truth is true and nothing else is true."
) God's realm and creation are TRUE.
2) The world we made in dreaming is FALSE.
3) Forgiveness means becoming TRUE while inside of the FALSE in preparation for moving into the realm of the TRUE.
4) Eventually returning to the actual TRUE realm.
So forgiveness really just means aligning yourself with the true nature that you have IN heaven, while you're temporarily seeming to be outside of it. Becoming as heaven-like and aligned with reality as possible. As identified with Christ Spirit as possible. As under ONLY God's laws as much as possible. As expressive of God's loving nature as possible. All the while being still in this dream world which seems like imagined hell and death, SEEING from and with Truth, a perspective which opposes and invalidates the FALSE world.
And we take the Holy Spirit's hand who SYMBOLIZES the truth and we attempt to become in alignment with that symbolism, even at the body level symbolizing eternal life, so that we are as close to heaven as possible and ready for God to take us home.
You can also describe it this way.
1) The PREMISE of the Kingdom is God, immortal truth. The logical outcome of that premise is the creation/extension of eternal life as the Sonship etc.
2) The ego's idea of separation is a FALSE PREMISE, resulting in an entire seeming world which is entirely FALSE. It is opposite the Kingdom in every way.
3) Having made the false world and having CONFUSED IT with the truth, it is given all of truth's properties such as "reality" and "existence". It now seems to be real and exists. And now we experience the nightmare of hell.
4) Forgiveness ONLY means, bringing the PREMISE OF THE WORLD into question, and switching from the ego premise to God's premise. That is all. Nothing else.
5) To question the world's reality, to strip it of truth, to disbelieve it, to side "against" it, to deny it, to recognize it is FALSE and not true, to sort out how and why it is unlike God, and to realize it is NOTHING because an opposite to God cannot exist, IS FORGIVENESS.
We simply need to shift from the entire spectrum of ego reactions of "its a real world and bad things are really happening", to "the world is NOT REAL, it's a dream, and it is NOT happening." That is changing the premise of the separation. That is the only logical thing you can do and it's all that's needed.
When what seemed like real war, real attack, real suffering, real death, are put into a context of ITS A DREAM, not a reality, it completely reframes everything in a different context, and the ENTIRE THING is uprooted and stripped of its threats and dangers and sins. It has no further power to affect you because you recognize it is FALSE and unreal, NOT a real world, and NOT really happening. And be glad it is so.
"There is no death, the Son of God is free."
"There is no world."
A light way to look at things and a dark way. It is similar to how, from above the clouds, the sun shines on everything, and yet beneath the clouds, everything looks dark and threatening.
Looking back toward the light with obstacles in the way, creates the impression of threat and danger and doom and gloom. When the clouds are there, the light seems obscured and it feels like you've got walls keeping you from it. It seems like you're trapped in a prison and that everything is against you.
Looking toward the light from a position of being separated from the light, by the clouds, creates the ego. The ego is an attempt to turn around and look back at God and find him blocked from vision as if he doesn't exist. And when the clouds are heavy, it will feel as if God doesn't exist, as if there is no light.
Shifting back into alignment with the source of light, means getting "above the battlefield", through and beyond the clouds, past the illusion of separateness and self importance, and turning around 180-degrees so that you too are a part of the light that shines outward. You need to become a sunbeam, of sorts, extending love outward.
Looking up to the sun with clouds between you is akin to the ego looking inside at itself. The ego wants to catch a glimpse of itself as if it really exists as a separate identity. What you are 'is', and you can't identify it as something separate from you. Yet when you're "under the weather" and trying to wrestle with upsets and darkness you keep trying to look 'at' yourself, similar to how you keep trying to look back at the sun. You don't really need to look at yourself or to look at the source of light, you need to BE IT.
Changing your vantage point changes your perspective. If your vantage point is rooted in your ego then your ego will do the looking and it will look toward the clouds and tell you the clouds are real and that you're separate from God. This will of course be frightening and horrifying. And it's not true, but it will seem true, and you will feel stuck.
Changing your vantage point to that of Holy Spirit (the sun) changes everything. It changes how everything looks to you and what it means. Your light shines ONTO everything you see illuminating it and revealing its beauty and happiness. It helps you to see clearly and fully. It helps you to not be deceived by the strange shadows that play out on the landscape when you are "in the dark". And it helps you to remember there is ALWAYS another way, ALWAYS a better way than any ego viewpoint.
And you need to be reminded... the light of God is always present and always available and always true and always powerful, and no amount of ego or darkness or horror will EVER obliterate it or shut it out or make it permanently lost. EVER. The light is always stronger than the darkness because the darkness is weakness. The light is always there. It is sanity. It is reason. It is truth. Sooner or later you have to admit to it and allow it and accept it and be it. You can prolong suffering but you cannot make it permanent. The light is calling to you to join it and to laugh at the silliness of the ego's mistakes.
God loves you.
"Loss is not loss when properly perceived. Pain is impossible. There is no grief with any cause at all and suffering of any kind is nothing but a dream."
I had to think a bit on this one.
It reminds me of denial, because Jesus says that denial when properly perceive attests to the thing being denied.
When you deny something, you're saying that you believe the thing DOES EXIST, but that you are hidden from it, seemingly unaware of its existence. Just because you are unaware of it doesn't however make it go away for real. The denial doesn't CHANGE what's there, it just changes how you look at it.
Similarly perhaps, loss is not loss, because if you believe you have lost something, you BELIEVE IN that thing existing. You're saying, I believe I have lost this real thing. If it is real, if it exists, if you COULD lose it, it must still exist and so is not really lost. The loss attests to the continued existence of the thing.
So if I say I'm having loss about someone being dead, for example, I'm really saying that I believe in the existence of what has died. The loss comes from the belief that I am being denied something that exists. I want it, believing it's there to be wanted, but cannot seem to have it. This produces suffering because I am out of alignment with reality.
Obviously for example the "loss of a body" is really a belief that the body is real and is the person, and that the body is "gone", and therefore lost. But I can't really truly be believing that the body is gone if I'm believing I have "lost it", because the loss is affirming the belief in its existence, its reality, its importance.
In a way then, loss is itself a denial, in which it i claiming to be an experience of "having lost something", but is really a way to try to "hold onto something" and let it NOT be lost. Because the so-called loss, really is an undercurrent of a "belief in having" the thing. It seems like loss, but it is an attempt to gain. So loss realise is the flip side of a coin, and on the other side is attachment.
The loss therefore is an illusion, a suggestion that only one side off the coin exists. That there is only loss, and that there is no actual belief in the existence of the thing. But you can't have loss without the belief in it, just as you can't have denial without the belief in the existence of what you are denying. To say I am feeling loss is to say I am pretending to believe something is gone while believing it hasn't. That I'm wanting it to exist even more but this wanting is disguised as not having.
It's all rather complicated. lol But as Jesus says, loss when properly perceived is not loss. When properly perceived it's really an assertion of having, of holding onto, of possessing. A grasping.
Jesus also goes on to say that grief and suffering are nothing but a dream. In this sense, what seems like a loss can't really be a loss because only dream-stuff seems to have gone away. There is no loss in God, nothing related can ever be lost, and no part of myself - one with everything - can be lost.
Which means, everything about God exists already, is complete already, is in perfect divine order, free of needs and problems, in divine health at all times, and absolutely always the same.
So when we're having a relationship with God, we might want to look at in which ways we're really treating God based on how God is, versus some idea of a 'changeable God'.
If God were changeable, you might be justified in, for example, asking Him to do something ... ie he hasn't done it already. Or, praying for something to be done which isn't his will. Or, believing that he doesn't have a desire to heal certain person due to sins. etc... various beliefs that arise out of the idea of a conditional, fickle God.
God has already accomplished everything because God already created. His creation is whole and complete already. He has already put into place everything that you really need, your ideal environment, the perfect conditions for your health, etc. He has also already established His laws and set up the 'mechanisms' by which you should live in alignment to His will.
So it's not so much a matter of, let's get God to bend to our conditions and do what we think hasn't been done yet. It's more like, let's accept what God has put in place and get into the role that He has chosen for us and act based on the laws he has already established and live in the way that He has already designed for us.
It's not that God is failing to give us a perfect life. But that's exactly what you're saying when you think that your life is a mess and isn't working out properly and needs correction. It's not because God has failed. God never fails. It's because we have resisted God's way, have resisted God's will, and want to have things be different. And it's also not that God isn't providing or giving or sharing, it's that we're not receiving. We're ignoring God and shutting out His help, it's not that He isn't helpful.
So it's like, we have this natural role, a 'function', which God has set in place, to be the Holy Son of God, and to be free of all illusions and all ego, and to live forever, carrying out His will and extending His kingdom. And if we're not doing that, it's because we have chosen not to, and therefore what can we expect but to meet with problems? The fact is, our ego self wants to have its own separate existence with its own rules and laws and power and do all this without God and expect it to go well. Life doesn't work smoothly without God.
So it's really a matter, what it comes down to, in the undoing of the authority problem (trying to have authority over God rather than accept and extend His authority), whether you are willing to BE what God has intended you to be, or whether you still want to be something else. Whether you want to be governed by laws of sickness and chaos and death, which you made, or whether you want to be under no laws but God's - the laws of eternal life.
There can't be three different truths. They would all be conflicting. Only one of them can be the real truth.
Whatever the truth is, you do not get to decide what it is. It is what it is, and it has been established by God.
It doesn't matter how certain you are of what the truth might be, or what you've learned, or who you are, or how much evidence you've accumulated. It doesn't matter how much time you've spent analyzing what you think the truth is.
There is only one truth.
You don't get to decide what it is. Ever. You have no power to change it. No power to make it be different. No power to overthrow it. It doesn't matter how much denial you are in or how certain you are that something else is true.
Only the real truth is true.
So what this means is, you do not get to have an opinion. You do not get to have your own personal viewpoint or personal opinion or belief or collection of concepts which define what the truth is. You actually do not get to define what the truth is at all.
On your spiritual quest, you may believe that you have discovered something more true than what you used to believe, but you may still be off by quite a lot. These are stepping stones of discovery, as you gradually sort out what is really true and what is not.
The truth has to be consistent and it has to account for everything. Gradually over time if you are very open minded and honest you will come to an awareness of the entire truth, as it is, without your interference or your opinion.
But at no time do you get to make something be true, or make-believe it is true, or make something become reality. If it is true and real, it is true and real forever, and it is permanent, and nothing can change it.
So really, the truth is not found by your making it up, or dreaming it, or being the one who figures it out, or through analysis, or expertise and learning. It is only something that you can ACCEPT. It is only something you can SURRENDER to. It is only something you can become aware OF.
You have no say in determining the truth. Your attempts to do so are purely denial. They are delusional. They are part of your belief that you are God. It is the authority problem.
You can't change God's mind about you. God always knows what the truth is. God always knows that you are 100% innocent and cannot really separate from Him. God knows your dream of death isn't really happening at all and holds no truth whatsoever.
Your opinion counts for nothing. Your beliefs do not change reality. Nothing you can do can stop God from being unconditionally loving. You have never had power over His Will. Your own will can do nothing real outside of alignment with His Will, otherwise you are just in wishful thinking.
Only the truth is true. Only God's truth is true. And your only possibility is to set aside all of your attempts to make something else true and simply accept what God has already made real.
Surrender your egocentric viewpoint. Your opinion is meaningless. God's truth is the only truth and you can only accept or deny it.