At times I get this sense that when "life lessons" come along, they are not so much "optional lessons" or just painfully difficult trails and struggles,, but rather, that situations and circumstances happen "on purpose" as a kind of "conditioning". A kind of reprogramming.

You are exposed to these conditions and the conditions change you. Rather than that, like, you have to learn by making decisions and picking up facts and figuring something out mentally. You kind of inevitably end up learning something almost as if the situation "forced" you to. But of course, you have free will still.

It seems at times these lessons are more like... corrections... in the form of three dimensional spatial scenarios and interactions and happenings .... as if, some larger being is putting stuff in front of us that it knows will change us in a certain direction. That it is in fact, a form of healing? That you can't really fail to "learn the lesson", you just "go through it" and come out the other side changed.

It seems also that whenever Holy Spirit tells me some difficult situation is a lesson, before I would've thought of that as annoying as hell, and confused about what I have to learn. But lately when He says this, I almost get that this is a clue telling me "it is educating you" "it is correcting you" "it is steering you" "it is prompting you to change your mind in a good way"... almost "it's happening to you, choose God".

Like, this situation and your way of dealing with it and so on WILL lead to you discovering new things and developing more trust and opening up to new truths. Sometimes when I get through a lesson I might've learned something new about working miracles or had some deep insight or it produced a major catharsis or something.... and so when the lesson is "happening", I might more easily consider, "somehow, this is leading to growth and making me better off".

Like, the lesson is a "nudge in the right direction" regardless of how it appears, and you always come out the other end "better off". Because what I see and know now versus what I didn't know at the beginning of a recent "trial" I could never have imagined would be the outcome or insights gained as a result of going through the difficulties.

You could almost think of life situations as little "scenarios", little holographic 3D classrooms, into which you enter and are exposed to, and the classroom itself molds and shapes you and steers you in a certain direction. And generally speaking you will learn whatever you are ready to learn, freely, while passing "through" that chamber of conversion.

It really reminds me of the dream I had just recently where I was going through all kinds of trials, obstacles, escape acts, problems and people chasing after me, running through different rooms and stuff, ending up in an open area where the "host" of a game show (Holy Spirit) showed up as this woman... who asked, "what is it that is so valuable to you that you would be willing to go through all this to attain it"? And the instant answer in my mind was HOME... Heaven... I would be willing go through all these trials and life events IF it would in the very long term picture actually POINT me in the direction of home.

This also ties in with what I've heard about writing our life scripts before we incarnate... we literally choose to go through various things, those who are to meet will meet, we choose our family and major life events etc, even our enemies and people we will clash with. Even our serious illnesses and accidents etc. Even when we are likely to "die" ie leave the classroom. And then we come in and "go through it all" like it's a real "pain in the ass you wish wasn't happening", but in the big picture, somehow, using these difficult scenarios as a way to guide us home to love.

And the only reason the life events SEEM like trials, or difficult, or stressful, or upsetting etc.. is because of our ego. Our egotism and "what we need to learn" or unlearn is what makes the situations into a challenge. It's why we sort of "need" these lessons. So that we can move closer to love and way from ego choices. To that we will will surrender. And sometimes the lessons are so annoyingly fucked up that the only thing you are left able to do is surrender and give up and let go. And that's a good thing. lol

This makes me think of this...

"W-pI.135.18. What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? 2 Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. 3 But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. 4 While you made plans for death, He led you gently to eternal life."

and

"Trials are but lessons which you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain which what you chose before has brought to you. In every difficulty, all distress, and each perplexity you face, Christ calls to you, and gently says, "My brother, choose again." He would not leave one source of pain unhealed, nor any image left to veil the truth. He would remove all misery from you whom God created alters unto joy. He would not leave you comfortless, alone in dreams of hell, but would release your minds from everything that hides His Face from you."

When you perceive that something is 'wrong' with someone else, and that this wrongness does not apply to you, you are SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL.

When you perceive that what applies to another person, due to their apparent separate free will and the idea that they are supposed to be responsible for what they do, in isolation, you are SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL.

When you think that its possible for you to do something to someone else, or to have an attitude or judgement toward them, which does not apply to you in any way, you are SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL.

When you believe that someone else clearly is the guilty party and that you did not do anything whatsoever to ask for mistreatment, and that you have been victimized, and that you are completely innocent and they are completely guilty, you are SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL.

When you hate someone or judge them or are disgusted by them or offended by them or they seem to be totally crazy or they are your worst enemy, in which you are none of these things, you are SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL.

In all the ways of perceiving reality, when you perceive that there is a SEPARATION between what applies to you, and what applies to another, that is MENTAL ILLNESS. And this is the foundation of ALL mental illness. A belief in separation, in all its forms and flavors, is mental illness.

When you perceive that something is happening to you which you did not ask for, when you are receiving something you did not choose, or that you are not receiving you what you did attempt to ask for, that is also mental illness.

When you believe that death is inevitable and that it is going to happen to you against your will and that you will be a passive victim of it, that is also mental illness.

You will notice that the above describes THE MAJORITY OF HUMAN KIND. That is because the majority of human kind IS MENTALLY ILL.

To understand WHY this is mental illness, you need to understand how the mind is supposed to function and what is NATURAL for the mind, as opposed to unnatural. All of the attitudes listed above are unnatural and are NOT normal. They are very commonplace, but they are not normal.

The mind, in every person, is not ever in any way supposed to operate in the realm of separation. Your mind is meant to be whole, which means not only that it is whole within itself, but also that it is part of a greater whole in which all minds are joined as ONE MIND.

This means that everyone shares the same mind. This One Mind is the mind of God. When your mind is One with the Mind of God, you are SANE. God is permanently whole and permanently sane and there is no separation of fragmentation in God's mind. You can share God's mind, and that is your NATURAL CONDITION. And it is in sharing God's mind fully that you MUST experience PERFECT HEALTH - perfect divine immortal health.

When your mind is separated off from the whole, and therefore sees itself as separate and limited, it will also see itself as containing limitations and separations. This is what gives birth to EGO. The ego is INSANITY. When there is ego in your mind, i.e. a lack of wholeness, a lack of oneness, a lack of unity with God, you WILL experience insanity - mental illness.

So then as you go around the world perceiving that a given person is "not you", and another person is also "not you", and that there is not something IN them that is exactly the same as what is in YOU, you are in mental illness. You have entered into a private hallucinatory world of separation and division and SELF ATTACK. As soon as you believe in separation in any way, your whole mind must attack itself in an attempt to set one part of itself against the other part. This self attack produces ALL SICKNESS, and all sickness is a form of MENTAL ILLNESS.

Once you are in mental illness, you will perceive that other people are separate from you, that there are separate rules that apply to them which don't apply to you, that what they will is different from what you will, that something can apply to them that does not apply to you, you are in mental illness. Once you start to treat them in a different way than you treat other people, or react to them differently based on their behavior, or have a different attitude of specialness based on who they are or what they exclusively do for you, you've moved away from the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE which is the condition of the WHOLE mind, and have entered into conditionality. Conditionality is insanity.

So then when you are hating the political candidate for the opposition, or when you are against that other sports team, or when you hate that person who seemed to do something to someone against their will, or when you judge someone for the form that they appear to take, or when you can only love a special person and nobody else, or when you believe that you are right and someone is wrong, or that you are good and someone else is bad, THAT IS MENTAL ILLNESS.

It is not natural. It is not normal. It is extremely common and almost everyone on this planet IS mentally ill. This IS a crazy world, but it doesn't have to be.

So when we talk about mental illness, let's be clear about what sanity really means (One shared mind of wholeness and peace and unconditional love), and that anything other than this is mental illness in one form or another. Everyday people rising up 'against' some other group of people, is mental illness. Everyday people attacking some other group righteously because of how that other group is 'less spiritual' or 'less honest' or 'less good' or whatever, that is mental illness. And its YOUR mental illness, not theirs.

All forms of separation are mental illness. All perceptions of separation are mental illness. And all other commonly recognized types of "mental illness", which people would normally call mental illness, such as paranoia or schizophrenia or psychosis or whatever, those are just the more noticeable EXTREMES of mental illness. That doesn't mean that all the other people are SANE. Almost every psychiatrist on the planet is insane. Almost every doctor or nurse on the planet is insane. Almost every pastor of churches or preacher in religions is insane.

The only sanity is in God, with God, joined with God, one with God, as God's Holy Son who is permanently sane and whole and complete, devoid of separation and lies. Only in TRUTH is there sanity. So before we judge other people for being insane or 'not right', let's remember that WE are just as insane and we need to work on our own mental health instead.

Here's an example of how I gave myself a sickness.

I was thinking about Holy Spirit one day and about the fact that I thought of Him as separate from me. In my mind I had this sudden idea, what if He is not separate from me? And in that idea I saw there being no wall separating us, nothing coming between us, which immediately suggested I was "exposed" to Him and that He had direct access to me.

This is when my EGO reacted. My ego still believed in being a separate individual, which is a delusion, and so quickly saw in this Oneness an "attack". Holy Spirit definitely was not attacking, but to the ego, the idea of having no separation to block the truth was seen as a major threat to its existence. If I am One with Holy Spirit, there can be no ego!

Seeing this therefore quite shocked me, and I was a bit horrified. Almost immediately, in order to "defend myself" against what I saw as a threat, I attempted to shut out the Holy Spirit. I did this almost automatically like I already knew how to and just created a kind of "blocking force" within myself, emphasizing separation from Him, like trying to get away from Him or push Him away.

I did this using my mind by putting up a strong resistance, literally trying to push Him away, and to simultaneously withdraw into the body. I felt like I was cowering and shrinking. And I felt afraid because of the idea of no separation. I was making myself "little" to create a sensation of distance between us.

Within hours, I started to lose my hearing.

My ears very rapidly started to block up, they started to ring with a high-pitched ringing, my head became congested and they ached.

Basically, I did not want to LISTEN to the idea of there being no separation. I wanted to shut it out. And that meant shutting down my mind, shutting down awareness, which manifests itself in/as the body in the "form" of a reduction in sensory perception.

At first I didn't know where this sudden sickness came from or why it was happening, and started to react to it and to even seem to seek out remedies/magic. I acted as if I hadn't chosen it and didn't want it, as if it was happening to me against my will and I didn't like it. But I HAD chosen it. I had put it in place myself. And I had done so very quickly and quite automatically.

It took a day or two of "suffering" for me to become willing to look at why this had happened. At first I didn't want to admit that I'd created it. I couldn't see that. But I did start to realize that I was at least AFRAID. And as I looked into that, I became honest and admitted this fear to Holy Spirit, which took courage. I had to admit and realize I'd become afraid of the "truth" that I'd seen a couple of days before.... not so much afraid of it because of what it means, but because of how my ego mis-interpreted its meaning.

My ego thought that if Holy Spirit and I were One, that would have to mean that I - ego separate self - must not exist. In other words, that Holy Spirit had come to destroy me and that I was under threat of death. I therefore believed in death, and so manifested sickness - which is a step toward death.

As I began to "admit the truth", which is, to start to trust and allow this truth to sink in, and started to do some "forgiveness process" about it, the symptoms started to lift. In fact within about 24 hours the whole thing had almost completely cleared up. All symptoms disappeared without a trace.

By looking and admitting to how I'd defended myself against the truth, and that this was the PURPOSE of the sickness, and owning up to the decision I made to do this, and seeing that I'd done it to myself, set me free. Holy Spirit also helped to remove some of the "consequences of my wrong decision", as I became willing to let Him and to move past the self-made fear delusion.

Sometimes the truth frightens us because we mis-perceive it and don't understand what it really means. Our identification with the ego seems to threaten our "self" when the ego mis-perceives truth as a threat. Dis-identifying with the ego/body and recognizing what we've done to ourselves is the key to salvation.

It turns out this episode was actually a lesson in which I learned a good example of how sickness is created, and its undoing. All sickness is psychosomatic, chosen, and on purpose.

"Sickness is a defense against the truth". - ACIM

There are two sets of tools. The ego has a set of tools, and the Holy Spirit has a set of tools.

When we are paying attention to the ego, in any given situation where we think something is a problem, we will reach into the ego's toolkit and pull out our favorite tools. We'll use them almost without question. For some reason, we think they will work, even though they usually don't. And we will apply them without even realizing we're doing so.

We might use denial, or rationalization, or justification, or aggression, or conflict, or attack, or projection, or scapegoating, or intellectualizing, or fear, or victimhood, or a guilt trip, or blame, or whatever it is, to try to find 'salvation' - to be saved from the problem.

The trouble is the ego's tools don't really work, and even though they say on the advertising they will solve the problem, they don't. They usually make the problem worse, in the big picture, while making it *seem* like they're working in the little picture. But they're very sneaky because the marketing hype is incredibly convincing and they're never what they appear to be.

We need another set of tools. We need the Holy Spirit's toolbox, and we need to be willing to reach for those tools when things are going to shit. But this might not seem easy. We are accustomed to almost habitually reaching for the ego, to 'use' it, to solve our problems. It's our trusty toolkit, we rely on it, we depend on it, we believe in it, we're attached to it like a favorite, and we don't want to part with it because we think it's valuable.

It's really up to you, do you want to use the ego, or use Holy Spirit?

Which one works?

Which one actually accomplishes a solution that you can live with and feel good about, which restores peace and brings a smile back to your face?

Part of the problem here is that we do not recognize what the tools are. We don't realize what tools we are using, yet alone whether they belong to the ego's toolkit or not, and yet alone knowing that there's a whole other set of tools at our disposal.

This is why we need to a) learn what the ego's tools are and how they operate, b) learn how we use them and why we use them and notice when we use them, c) look at whether they actually work - what the results are and whether we really want those results and why, d) what the Holy Spirit's tools are, e) what the results might be of using Holy Spirit's tools, and then f) actually learning to say no to the ego's tools and reach for the Holy Spirit's tools instead, especially in times of stress and upset.

Because we don't realize how much power we have lost by following the ego, we might not realize just how much power is available to us.

Returning to God doesn't just mean we remain some kind of disempowered, barely able to do anything being that's nice and calm and unassuming. We've been so used to living in limitation and lack, spiritually starving ourselves, and so used to blocking the extension of God, that we may not anticipate the wealth that is on offer.

This wealth will return to us as we reclaim the Kingdom, and resurrect to our True Identity.

It is the difference between going from death, to being alive. Going from suffering to happiness. Going from loss to abundance. Going from fear to profound natural confidence.

It's as though we've taken God's power and presence and have tried to squeeze it and wring it out and drain all of the life out of it. We've become spiritually dry and barren.

As you awaken, your willingness to do God's will and your openness to RECEIVE, is going to open the floodgates to the extension of LOVE to flow and radiate through you. Love is power.

Quite literally, the absence of love is an absence of life-giving force, an absence of freedom, an absence of manifestational potential, and a breaking of causal power.

We're been preventing ourselves from wielding miracles, limiting and stopping or creative capabilities, and have placed ourselves in a prison with shackles on. Having bound ourselves to the ego and the body, we have shut down our unlimited power, and now thing there is no greater power to reclaim.

Your ability to cause anything has been reduced down to almost nothing by being in the ego. So much separation has come between cause and effect, to suggest they are disconnected. It's like the power cable is unplugged.

Returning to awareness of God's love WILL reconnect you with power. The power of the mind and heart. Causality will be hooked back up with effects to bring about immediate manifestations of God's will.

This power to cause and produce instant effects, where cause and effect are one, is your completely natural birthright. It is God-given and shared with God.

The potential of what can be accomplished in this power, compared to the almost complete powerlessness rendered by the ego, is staggering.

As you approach God, it is like stepping into the sun. The light radiates, warmth returns, everything becomes dynamic and alive, and life resurrects the dead. God is life and the giver of life which, by comparison, shows just how little and weak the ego is.

As you step out to express God's love, fulfill God's will, and extend God's power, miracles will become effortless and unlimited. Your word will become infused with Spirit, such that you can speak to mountains and force them to move, literally.

By reclaiming and owning up to your natural Christ Power, you will go from cowering and fearing, to certainty, authority, and complete power over all illusions. They will be nothing to you, both in truth and in expression.

You will become like Jesus, or Moses, or many other miracle workers, who share God's impressive might and powerful creative will. Going from a lifeless life to one infused with the living God is going to be night and day.

Lately I'm getting the impression from the course, that we have two levels of mind. We have a lower mind and a higher mind.

Before the separation we only had the 'higher' mind, but then we produced a second-order reality or thought system.

"The Separation is NOT symbolic. It is an order of reality, or a system of thought"

"The calm being of God's Kingdom, which in your sane mind is perfectly conscious, is ruthlessly banished from the part of the mind which the ego rules."

So now we have this "split mind", where the majority of mind is actually still perfectly in line with spirit, but the other part of mind has the ego running rampant in it.

This "lower mind" is, if I understand it right, the mindset that we're in almost all the time. It's the mind of the upset self. The mind in which we have egoic thoughts, fear thoughts, angry thoughts, emotional reactions, perceptions of threat, and so on.

We also need to be honest and careful to realize that the lower mind is not "lower than my everyday self", it usually IS our everyday self. And we're operating almost exclusively in it in everything we do.

So we're actually hanging out in the lower mind almost all the time. And that's why we need to learn to train the main and have vigilance, to be careful with our thoughts and to try to elevate our quality and level of thinking. To get our minds out of the gutter, so to speak.

What that tells me is I need to be watchful for ego oriented thoughts. These are artificial thoughts and ideas which usually are laden with fear, attack, accusation, guilt and so on. Often they revolve around the past.

"My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts."

"My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability."

"My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world."

So if it's true that I'm having ego thoughts all day long, and am often in states of upset and emotional reaction etc, then obviously I'm down in the lower mind. It the mindset of ego and separation and selfishness and unsafely and suffering.

To get out of it we have to first even recognize that we're in it, and there there is another level of mind we could access instead. We have to recognize our thoughts are ego thoughts, meaningless thoughts, thoughts of attack and unforgiveness, and realize that just merely having these thoughts is why we are upset.

"I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."

So now we have to get into monitoring thought, and actually being aware of when we're entertaining ego thoughts. Identify the thoughts as having ego content in them. And then ask yourself, do I even need to have this thought?

We also should be aware that the Holy Spirit is in our mind and spans the parts of mind to keep them joined. And he also is fully aware of the higher mind and its truth. So we need to turn to him for help by giving him our lower-mind thoughts so that he can convert them into higher-mind miracles.

"Give Him (Holy Spirit) your thoughts (ego thoughts), and He will give them back as miracles (higher thoughts)."

You see, when you have a thought you tend to go along with it and just get lost in it. You think about whatever it seems you're thinking about without looking at the thought ITSELF. You don't question whether you should even be having the thought, you just have it and buy into its story.

Instead we need to be more careful to ask whether even having the thought at all is necessary, and if we did not have these ego thoughts at all maybe we would not be upset all the time. And recognize that having these kinds of thoughts is why we are constantly stressed out.

I choose not to have these thoughts. I can have other thoughts, higher thoughts. These thoughts are coming from my ego and my unforgiving beliefs. I can have higher thoughts with God, aligned with his will, which means that I can have thoughts based on love and peace and happiness and sharing. I don't have to have these lower ego thoughts.

So we need to get out of this lower mind and into the higher mind. "The higher mind thinks according to the laws which the Soul obeys, and therefore honors only the laws of God."

"While I am not attacking your egos, I AM working with your higher mind whether you are asleep or awake, (just as your ego does with your lower mind.)"

"Consider how much vigilance you have been willing to exert to protect your ego, and how little you have been willing to exert to protect your higher mind."

So right now because of the split mind and the separation we really do in fact have "two minds" in a way, and one of them is ruled by the ego's laws temporarily. That mind has to choose any from the egos laws and back towards God's laws. We have to get out of the ego thinking and think with and like God.

"What YOU have made can always be changed, because when you do not think LIKE God, you have not really thought at all. Delusional ideas are NOT thought, but you CAN think that you believe in them." "This mind is the Holy Spirit, whose will is for God always. It teaches you how to keep me as the model for your thought, and behave like me as a result."

That means one way or another, these ego thoughts have to be managed, monitored, stopped if necessary or reversed, not identified with, and open up to the possibility that you don't even have to think this way. And thinking this way is the cause of all you problems.

Last night, there I was opening up to Jesus and allowing Him to do some healing in me. I was offering up experiences of rejection/abandonment and allowing Him to come in and heal them. Which he did.

It then occurred to me, as I connected with Jesus, a line of thought I'd not had before, about His nature.

When Jesus comes into my awareness, or rather, when I open up my awareness to admit He is with me ;-), I am always struck by his attitude.

If you can picture this... he comes across as though he is someone who is just sitting on a rock nearby. He doesn't appear to have any motivation. He doesn't seem to be in any way stirred. Like, he has absolutely no ambition. He isn't trying to go anywhere or get anything and has no sense of lacking anything at all. Like he absolutely no reason to move from where He is. He doesn't even barely seem interested in anything external to Him. I look for signs of the usual ... being lost in the days events, being driven with judgement or anger to get revenge, or anything like that, and I do not see it at all.

He sits there very quietly almost as though, and perhaps in actuality, like He is just completely finished with absolutely everything and there is no longer anything whatsoever that can interest Him externally. It's like he doesn't have any agenda of any kind, isn't excited about anything in particular, isn't associated with or caught up in anything, isn't distracted in any way. He just sits there. He is just very still and uninvolved. It's like, there is nothing for Him to do, and he isn't bored, he is just 'being'. But it's such a state of absolute ... no-ego-ness, that it always gives me the impression he doesn't give a fuck about anything.

Extreme detachment. Total detachment. He has absolutely no fear, no reason to move, no reason to do anything. It's like he's done with all illusions and is deceived by nothing. So he just sits there. And if I ask Him a question, he will eventually answer. Sometimes he will seem distant or even aloof but it's more like, if I go to Him with a question I'm almost interfering with his peaceful time. Except, he never gets upset whatsoever, and is never disturbed at all. He is just simply DONE with all illusions. And then he'll answer simply and sometimes brilliantly with great depth. And then it's as though, he still has his hands off. He doesn't push me to do anything, he doesn't assert any kind of special plan or motivation or reasoning. He doesn't defend anything and he doesn't have any apparent interest in getting inside of any of my issues. He just sits there, peaceful, calm, still.

What this then brought to mind for me was, and this would be blasphemous to many religious people. .. was a sense that this was the only way in which he and I could be EQUALS. Only by Him allowing me to be completely, and only by Him being Himself completely, were we then effectively BOTH EQUALLY FREE. His will was His own. Mine was my own. And neither will was attempting to control or manipulate or get involved with the other. Just totally hands off detachment. And in that, I felt like, there was absolutely no pretentiousness or arrogance or specialness or judgement or holier-than-thou. Just total equality. And no fear. Just being. Like a rock.

A couple of days ago, I rubbed my eyes a bit too much and triggered some swelling. Maybe a small blood vessel was broken or something. My upper eyelid swelled up and was red and sore and uncomfortable all day.

I at first wasn't sure whether to try to perform some kind of miracle on it or not. I knew that if I were to "fight it" I would be making it real and making a drama about it, which wouldn't help. At first that made me feel like I had to just accept it and live with it.

But part of me also wondered, what is it that stops me from accepting a complete and total healing instantaneously right now? Why should I tolerate this? How can I accept it and have it disappear as well?

So then I went to Holy Spirit. I asked, should I do something about this?

He said no.

But I had this sense that, I hadn't asked the right question. I indeed needed to DO nothing in the truest sense that, really, this thing had not really happened. But this also keyed me in to realize that, I needed to believe that it had not happened in order to truly embody the need to do nothing.

So I set about cancelling it by collapsing every belief and sense of truth about what had caused it. I told myself plainly that it did not exist, was not there, was already healed, there was no swelling, no soreness, no discomfort, no damage.

I undid all belief in the various causes that I'd convinced myself of such as "because I rubbed it" or "too many tears" or "didn't want to see something" or that issues about certain people were responsible.

When there were no more imagined "reasons why" it should be there, I really got into the sense that it is gone already and did not exist at all. This is an important point because we need to assert the state that we choose to manifest right now, not something off in the future. It's like painting a new picture of what you believe is real now - a vision of divine health and present happiness - rather than in any way accepting that sickness still exists.

So as part of that, I started to affirm gratitude to God that He had already healed this, that it was already resolved, already undone, had already disappeared, and that there was now a completely restored and healed eyelid free from all problems.

This was when I think Holy Spirit stepped in and suddenly I started with the energetic shaking. But also something 'new' happened, right after I thanked God for having healed it already.

Thanking God for healing in effect invites the receiving of healing while simultaneously affirming that the problem is gone, which is the proper mental "direction" for allowing God to extend and flow. God works in the now and in the awareness that the problem is solved already, so we need to learn to shine "thank you that it is healed already" (acknowledgement of receipt) rather than "please heal it because it's not healed".

Note that in the bible there is a phrase about asking, and that if you believe you have received it, you shall have it. The believing it is received, through thanks to God, and therefore acknowledgement of its PRESENCE, is the key to miracles flowing.

The area in question suddenly was filled with what I can only describe as an extremely high "heat", so hot and intense that I wondered for a moment if something had burst or become worse. It was very intensely focused right in the middle spot where this issue was located. It seemed to cover an area no more than a couple of millimeters, and held there in one spot.

I just observed it for what seemed like maybe 20 seconds or more. It didn't move or change. It was just there. It seemed hotter than any physical heat you could experience. Yet it didn't burn and was not uncomfortable at all. It was not pain. It almost felt like an intense presence, hard to ignore. Like some kind of "liquid fire".

I've heard some Christian healers etc talking about Holy Fire and this idea that Holy Spirit can bring some kind of intense healing "fire" from heaven or something, which heals stuff. I am presuming this was my first encounter with it.

I then relaxed and eventually went to sleep. I could already tell even then, that it was much less sore, I couldn't barely feel it anymore, and it was much more comfortable. This morning the problem has almost disappeared. It looks and feels a lot better.

Sometimes I am grateful for little, relatively minor physical issues, because they can present good opportunities for practicing miracle-working and healing. They indeed are lessons when used appropriately.

Part of miracle principle 31: "You should thank God for what you really are."

Try this....

Just say to God (optionally out loud) over and over again many times...

"thank you God"

"thank you God"

"thank you God"

"thank you God"

"thank you God"

etc...

As many times as you like... Notice how you feel. You should almost immediately begin to feel a change, a relief, a lightening up, and you may burst into a smile, and you might receive a healing miracle. Your 'vibration' should raise, you should feel brighter and happier and better able to see clearly as well. It's a mood lifter.

We are meant to be IN this gratitude to God ALL THE TIME, not just occasionally, and especially not never. Thanking God acknowledges YOU HAVE RECEIVED ALREADY, and thus anything blocking awareness of having received will be swept away.

"You do not realize how much you hate each other. You will not get rid of this until you DO realize it, for UNTIL then, you will think you want to get rid of EACH OTHER and KEEP THE HATRED."

In the past couple of weeks, I've been having some hatred coming out for release. It's from deep in the past. But I did not recognize it as hatred. I was too "in it", feeling it. I had no idea what it was, only that everyone seemed responsible for it.

I kept flip-flopping between what it felt like and how it was making me perceive, and what was more of my "current" way of perceiving. But it was hard to maintain this. I kept falling back into it.

It felt like an intense form of separation, and of accusation. It seemed sharper and stronger than just anger. It felt vicious and hurt and blameful. It took several days of going through it before Jesus clued me in that it was even hate, because I couldn't tell what it was.

When you're angry at some person you're trying to make them guilty, yet there's some form of desiring that they stop being "wrong" mixed in with that. Hatred on the other hand is a bit more like just pure despising. It's almost like the reason why you were angry gets buried and all you're left with is a concentrated hatred of a person. It's almost like sin's reflection.

Each time that waves of this stuff came up, I would feel extremely scapegoaty. Just really convinced that the person was just evil and wrong and bad. Just like a passive observation, but quite strong in actively condemning them. This then started to overflow into how I was relating to everyone. There was just this constant forceful pushing of blame all the time regardless of who I was relating with.

You might have noticed that I made several posts recently where I was sounding fed up with people, accusing people, tired of people, resentful of idiots, annoyed at people not being willing to listen or learn, angry at their fixed nature and stubbornness etc. This isn't really like me, but I couldn't help but keep moving into blame because the feeling of hate coming up was so accusatory. It was making me see everyone as wrong.

The hate was seemingly based on what I saw as what someone did to me, seeming to inspire revenge or a justification for "why" I should hate them. A viciousness that seemed to make sense. It felt like an extreme form of dissociation and ego and specialness, as well. It was driven by unhealed "hurt" and a definite "you did this to me" kind of mentality of victimhood.

I'm glad to say that now that this is mostly cleared out, my perceptions and evaluations are returning to a much more forgiving place. But it was a pretty deep dip in the road. Jesus talks in the course about just how intense our "hidden hates" really are, how much we blame and accuse. What we don't realize is that it's really ourselves that we're hating, at the same time. I certainly found it extremely difficult to feel loving or forgiving while feeling hate. It is just not possible to remain in a peaceful or happy state of mind with such things going on.

"No-one who hates but is afraid of love, and therefore MUST he be afraid of God."

"Let me not think that I can find the way to God if I have hatred in my heart."

"Your hatred is not real, But it is real to you. IT HIDES WHAT YOU REALLY WANT."

"If hatred finds a place within your heart, you will perceive a fearful world, held cruelly in death's sharp-pointed, bony fingers."

"It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego's hatred triumphs. "Look once again upon your enemy, the one you chose to hate instead of love. For thus was hatred born into the world, and thus the rule of fear established here."

"When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God's Voice proclaims there is no death."

"It fears and it attacks and hates itself, and darkness covers everything it sees, leaving it dreams as fearful as itself. No miracles are here, but only hate. It separates itself from what it sees, while light and strength perceive themselves as one."

"And thus will all the vestiges of hell, the secret sins and hidden hates be gone, and all the loveliness which they concealed appear like lawns of Heaven to our sight, to lift us high above the thorny roads we travelled on before the Christ appeared."

"This level cannot be attained until there is no hatred in your heart, and no desire to attack the Son of God."

"The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love."

"What hatred has released to love becomes the brightest light in Heaven's radiance."

"Do not let your hatred stand in the way of love, for NOTHING can withstand the love of Christ for His Father, or His Father's love for Him."

"You have projected outward what IS antagonistic to what is inward, and therefore you would HAVE to perceive it this way. That is why you MUST realize that your hatred IS in your mind, and NOT OUTSIDE IT, before you can get rid of it. And why you MUST get rid of it, BEFORE you can perceive the world as it really is."