If your ultimate, completely long-term goal was to awaken to truth and return to God, and you knew that ultimately nothing could hurt you because you are Immortal Spirit, you would be COMPLETELY okay with WHATEVER is necessary in order to accomplish that goal.

And that does mean literally anything. If you knew that the most important thing in your entire existence is to return to being with God, then you would 'okay' a lifetime in which you suffer terribly, have horrible diseases, are attacked endlessly, treated unfairly, and end up dying. You would sign on the dotted line - yes please, I'll go through this.

And the only reason you'll allow and agree to this, is because you can see ahead of time, what the experience is going to be like but, most importantly, WHAT IT WILL LEAD TO. And because you want what it will lead to - an increase in spiritual growth, an increase in awakening, learning to be more loving, growing your heart or the hearts of others, IF you could be shown that ahead of time, you would be like... yes, that's going to be a painful lesson but the end result is WORTH IT.

This is how we initially set out to become victims in this world. We go through this process before we are born. We evaluate with help, what we want to LEARN, and what is going to be required in order to learn it. And sometimes the requirements or 'stimuli' that will provoke learning may not be necessarily pleasant. And that's a very light way of putting the fact, that we literally choose to suffer in terrible ways, IF it will lead ultimately to awakening.

Then we come into the world and really bad shit happens. Really really bad shit. And it seems terrible. And initially we don't understand because we have this amnesia, on purpose, shutting out awareness of WHY this is happening. But the whole point of that amnesia is so that we can learn and become aware of WHY... so that we can become empowered, so that we can grow stronger, and so that we can ultimately WAKE UP.

In that light, victims are not victims. There are no victims. There are only choices, agreed-to scripts, and purposeful events. Everyone who is to meet will meet. Every thing that is meant to happen will happen. And everyone will ultimately wake up. And everyone will know that it was all worth it, especially given that NONE of this stuff was even real anyway.

"World: a natural grand division."

"The world, as defined above, WAS made as a natural grand division, or projecting outward of God. That is why everything which He Created is like Him." (world here refers to heaven not earth)

"This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all." (earth vs heaven)

"The Garden of Eden, which is described as a literal garden in the Bible, was not originally an actual garden at all. It was merely a mental state of complete need-lack. Even in the literal account, it is noteworthy that the pre-Separation state was essentially one in which man needed nothing." (heaven)

"Heaven is the home of perfect purity. And God created it for YOU." (heaven)

"because your mind has all the means at its disposal to side with Heaven or earth, as it elects." (heaven vs earth)

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." (heaven vs earth)

There are many other quotes speaking to this. Heaven is a 'world' that God created through the projecting out of his being and thoughts. It is a world of eternal life. It is not planet Earth. It is the only "real" world, where you can actually fully live and be free.

The Earth, and the physical universe, were MADE by you, in your decision to attempt to side with ego and believe in separation. It is artificial, an illusion, made of death and fear, and does not really exist. It is opposite to Heaven in EVERY way. If you could comprehend the nature of Heaven, it would be obvious how this world is TOTALLY unlike Heaven.

When the illusion of the physical world is recognized, it will disappear. And all that remains will be Heaven. And that "place" will be where you live forever and have lived forever. You will be "in Heaven". That state of Heaven is NOT experienceable on Earth or while in a body, not even in true perception. Nor is it the "real world" or forgiven world. It is BEYOND THIS UNIVERSE.

Layers of separation from God, and the ego's continued use of denial and making things unconscious, resulted in a huge wall of unconsciousness and unawareness standing in-between the physical universe and higher levels. This is the main reason why you have near-total amnesia when you incarnate into a body. Massive-scale denial "separates" this universe from the higher planes and Heaven. Earth is not Heaven. It never will be, and the best you can do here is to see Heaven's reflection, hinting at what is beyond.

Before the physical universe came into being, there was only the Son of God and no "other".

The mind of the Son of God contained a state of guilt, which arose from the belief in the separation happening (sin).

The Son of God then attempted to deny this guilt, making it unconscious. This denial created an illusion, a facade, that the Son of God was not guilty.

To do that, He had to invent a "picture" i.e. illusion to cover up the guilt, a picture of innocence. And this innocence had to be seen as vulnerable and powerless, so that all sense of guilt could be hidden. Only an idea of harmlessness and vulnerability would suffice.

It was through this denial that the physical universe was "put in place" to cover up the guilt in the One mind, which now became the collective unconscious mind.

The surface facade of this cover-up features "newborns" to portray this facade of innocence. Whether it be newborn babies or new plants growing or new puppies or a new planet or whatever.

The "birth" of the universe is based or starts from this idea of vulnerable innocence. Real innocence is strong and invulnerable. Fake innocence is weak and vulnerable, and only this would suffice as the opposite of being responsible for sin.

Human bodies, as babies, then are symbols which represent or try to convince us that the Son of God is not guilty. They portray Him as weak and tiny and powerless and helpless, as though anything could happen to Him and He could not happen to anything. This is the perfect cover-up for guilt. Who would suspect a baby?

The human body, therefore, is the mask of innocence, or the collective "persona" of the Son of God. It is what we wanted to show to ourselves, in denial of what is hidden in the unconscious. And then the larger unconscious mind is projected out as the rest of the universe.

We then find ourselves showing up as innocent, and with a state of so-called "amnesia", not remembering what came before. That amnesia is the implementation of denial in the mind, blocking the unconscious guilt.

The body then is a mask which the mind wears to portray itself as contained inside of that mask, vulnerable to the world and capable of being affected by it. The body, being a victim of and product of the world, is therefore represented as the one who "did not do it", i.e. did not put the world in place.

Even though the mind has created the body to be a victim, susceptible and vulnerable, it secretly wants this because it allows it to maintain denial and keep ownership of the guilt at bay.

Everything outside of the body is the "shadow", the unconscious mind in which the guilt is swirling around producing world events. Literally, and symbolically, we have shadows outside of our bodies.

And so our unconscious mind is now outside of the body, our conscious mind is inside of the body, and the body is our self image. It's not that we have a self image on-top of the body or an imaginary self-image in the mind, the body IS that image in the mind.

Fake innocence therefore is a collective coverup which starts at birth and maintains a denial of the unconscious guilt. The body itself, as the face of that innocence, is the block which prevents us from being aware of this unconscious guilt. The presence of the body at all is a demonstration that the mind behind it does not want to admit to being a sinner. It is a device for maintaining unconsciousness.

We come to believe that all that is left of us is the body, which is innocent, and is who we are, and is all of who we are. We do not remember that there was another portion of our mind which we have made unconscious, have projected outward, and are in denial of even existing.

In order to heal the unconscious guilt, you have to realize that your belief that you are innocent is not real. There is an entire layer of fake innocence stopping your mind from being consciously aware of your own belief in sin. Your belief that the body is real therefore blocks your awareness of your mind and its content (and its power to choose).

You believe your body self is all there is to you. You believe you are not the cause of your problems because you are innocent and you do not see anywhere in your awareness where you seem to be doing anything to yourself. That's because the part of you doing it to yourself is outside of your conscious awareness. It is un-conscious.

We have to then realize that we've made ourselves be in this position of being a victimizable, falsely innocent vulnerable body, as the symbolic representation of the idea of what happens after you deny your guilt. You're automatically in denial and unconscious and believing that you are only your innocent self, as soon as you "emerge" into this fake world of victimhood.

There is thus a veil of fake innocence, which aligns with physical form, which is blocking our awareness not only of unconscious guilt, but also is blocking awareness of the level of mind which came before so-called "incarnation".

Incarnation is just a state of entering into denial and going unconscious and ending up in a state of partial awareness, clueless about the larger mind that you just fled from. Incarnation is seen as an escape from guilt, and a desire to see yourself as innocent, even though deep down you do not believe it.

We have to realize this layer of this belief in being innocent, i.e. this unawareness that we ourselves actually believe we are sinful and guilty, is quite a strong layer of repression and denial. It is making us believe we're not the one who is guilty, even though we are experiencing the presence of guilt outside of us (which is our unconscious mind, made to seem separate from and "outside" of our conscious identity).

We don't suspect that we might have this guilt or that we even believe in it ourselves. We are busy believing that other people are guilty, because we do not even see that we ourselves unconsciously believe that we ourselves are guilty.

What we have done to ourselves, condemning ourselves with sin and judging ourselves as guilty, is the ONLY reason why we are upset, it is the only reason we are incarnate as a body-self, and it is the only reason why stuff is attacking us.

When we can become aware of the fact that we are faking our innocence and own up to believing in our guilt, we bring the guilt back into conscious awareness where we can at least now question whether it is true. This requires us to admit to the ways that we try to defend and maintain our "innocence" in order to keep our denial intact and repress the unconscious guilt.

Upon seeing that you yourself have attacked yourself, that you have condemned yourself, that you are the one who believes you are guilty, it is impossible to continue to pretend to yourself that your situation is being caused by someone else. What they allegedly were causing in you was actually coming from you. Admitting this is the secret to salvation - that you are only doing this to yourself.

We then must question whether we are guilty, because it is not real guilt. It is not causal guilt. Guilt is an effect of sin. And then we must question whether we are sinful, because it is not a real sin. It has not taken place in reality, nor has it affected reality at all. It has taken place only within an illusion and nothing more.

Therefore in reality, nothing has happened, and in truth, we MUST still be TRULY innocent. Believing this and accepting this as true is accepting the atonement. The atonement locates and identifies who we are OUTSIDE of the physical universe.

To uncover the unconscious mind and make it conscious and heal it, is to make your mind whole again. It also MUST mean that the facade of fake innocence must disappear. It was a device to maintain denial, and if you are no longer in denial, you do not have such a mask.

Given the human body IS that mask, and it is the belief in separation made manifest, and it is a device for denial, and its purpose was to maintain unconsciousness, if you are now choosing awareness you are literally undoing the need for or purpose of having a body at all. It is the persona, the false self image, designed to cover up the mind and block you from admitting to the truth, or from taking responsibility for what you have done to yourself.

Without a belief in sin and guilt, there is no further need for a body. The mind will simply cease to implement denial, which was a defense against the truth. And therefore the body, which was a defense against the truth, and therefore a sickness, MUST simply cease to exist. It must disappear because the guilt, which compelled the NEED for a body, has been undone.

This is because the mind has exited its identification and location within the realm of the fake innocent self - the physical universe - which WAS the unconscious mind, now made conscious, and therefore the mind has transcended the physical universe. This is ascension. This is what happens upon full completion of the atonement. It is a return to Heaven because it is an acceptance that Heaven is real and this world of fakery and false masks does not really exist.

We are children of God. We belong in the realm of love. We are innocent, forgiven and worthy of love, forever holy and eternally beautiful as an extension of God. None of this universe even happened and when it is recognized as the illusory device of denial that it is, it will disappear.

"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost."

"Above all else you want the freedom to remember who you really are."

"You have forgotten Who you really are."

"But you might remember that the reason FOR the course is that you do NOT know who you are."

The separation from God was also the separation from yourself. You blocked your awareness of who you really are. Your real self became obscure to you, forgotten and buried beneath layers of denial, distortion, lies and darkness.

What remains now, which you might think of as who you are conscious of being, is a very narrow and limited view of yourself. This narrowness confines you and seems to define you as small and imprsioned in a body. As if you are body-sized instead of universe-sized.

You think that the scope of your conscious awareness is the total scope of your whole self. Whatever of yourself you are aware of, that seems to be all of you. But it isn't. There is more to you.

It's kind of like you've got a bad case of amnesia, you are not consciously in touch with your actual real nature, and are no longer centered in the wholeness of your real self. You think you've turned yourself into someone else. So now you have a false and confused sense of identity. Especially if you think you are a physical body, or the ego.

In the back of your mind, underneath layers of denial, behind clouds of guilt, beyond various forms of deception and illusion, there is the core of your being. Your soul. Your real identity in God. It's still there, waiting to be uncovered.

It is a perfect self. The original self that God created you to be. And it hasn't really changed at all. But it's been concreted over by various beliefs and lies and stories you've tried to teach to yourself.

Your challenge, or really all that you need to do, is uncover and get back in touch with your real self. To sort through the garbage pile and clear away the blockages so that you can have a fuller sense of seeing, able to be aware of who you really are. Of who you have really always been, but you just forgot for a while.

The whole of ACIM is geared towards you remembering WHO YOU ARE. It's goal is to know yourself again. To uncover your real identity as Christ. And to restore your awareness of your place in God. It is a path of "self-realization". Who are you? God knows who you are. And the Holy Spirit can remind you.

"Your goal is to find out who you are, having denied your identity by attacking creation and its Creator"

"To hold a grievance is to forget who you are."

"You have handled this wish TO KILL YOURSELF by NOT KNOWING WHO YOU ARE, and identifying with something ELSE."

"Your Father's Name reminds you who you are, even within a world which does not know; even though you have not remembered it."

"And thus, if you confuse your function with the function of Another, you MUST be confused about yourself and who you are."

"You will lose all your fear of teaching and relating in any form once you know who you are."

"But what you really are must be revealed to you."

"And no one CAN know his function unless he knows who he IS."

"No course whose purpose is to teach you what you really are could fail to emphasize there is no difference in what you are and what love is."

"Atonement remedies the strange idea that it is possible to doubt yourself and be unsure of what you really are."

"Your real worth IS your divine authorship, and your Soul is its acknowledgement."

"And if your reality is God's, when YOU attack, you are not remembering HIM."

"By deciding AGAINST your reality, you have made yourself vigilant AGAINST God and His Kingdom. And it is THIS vigilance that makes you afraid to remember Him."

"what you REALLY are can not be seen nor pictured"

"This IS your reality. Do not desecrate it or recoil from it. It is your real home, your real temple, and your real self."

"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost. Whenever you are with anyone ELSE, you have another opportunity to find them. Your power and glory are in HIM BECAUSE they are yours. The ego tries to find them in YOURSELF, because he does not know where to look. But the Holy Spirit teaches you that if you look only at yourself you CANNOT find yourself because that is NOT what you are."

Each of us has an identity. God gave us an identity in and as part of Christ or the Sonship, which we share. But in the separation from God, we denied who we were and sought an identity that wasn't shared. That meant denying our mutual identity, placing us in a state of not being certain of who we are. Another way of saying that is that we became afraid of who we are.

Then we started trying to make an identity that would replace the identity we lost. We were out of touch with reality. So we started trying to assemble an identity from various illusions, and from things which are not really who or what we are. In particular we tried to identify with something isolated and alone, that you could call "only yours", rather than sharing an identity with others.

This included identifying with our bodies, believing that our body is our self. To do this our mind has to literally "attach" itself to "mix itself with" the body, trying to become "one" with it. As if to blur the lines between what is the body and what is our self. So that there is only one seeming self, not two. By trying to identify with a body, we're trying to hide our real identity and forget it, so that all that remains is the body self.

If I bind my definition of who and what I am, or what is true of me, to the body, then I am saying I AM a body. And then everything about the body I take personally as if it speaks of and defines me. Maybe I'll feel positive about my body for various reasons, due to how it looks or what it is capable of. Or maybe I'll feel negative about it based on it being ugly or defective. But both are still identifications with the body.

We can also shift to identifying with the mind, or with thoughts. When we have thoughts we can get a sense of an artificial sense of self, mixed in with the thinking. The mind can chatter away with its noise and the more it talks the more you mistake the talking for the person doing the talking. As if the sound of thought is the presence of someone. As if the thoughts are a self. And now you've identified with thinking, perhaps with intelligence or intellect, with memory or accumulation of knowledge.

You can also identify with social standing, your social background, class, race, gender, how much money you have, where your family seems to rank in terms of some social hierarchy, whether you are upper-class or lower, living in wealth or in poverty etc. You can also identify with failing to have much of a worthwhile identity in any of these areas, perhaps with a poor body and poor finances and poor living conditions, seeing yourself as identified as a helpless victim.

I think we can also identify with objects, with animals and pets, with places, with homes and cars etc. We can identify with our children, and literally feel as though what happens to them happens to us. As though they are a part of us, to such an extent that when they suffer we suffer, or we take everything that happens to them as a personal attack. This can lead to the identity of being a father or mother, someone who wants to keep that identity and not let it go, and who cannot deal with the empty nest.

These are all confused senses of who and what you are. And we're all looking for ourselves because think we lost ourselves. We sense that we are uncertain, thus afraid, of who and what we really are - or don't want to know. We don't remember our identity. It's like we have an amnesia. Whether it be an amnesia imposed by birth through crossing the barrier of dimensions and entering a body prison, or the illusion that every time you're born you start from scratch to build an identity.

"Each man makes one ego for himself, although it is subject to enormous variation because of its instability, and one for everyone he perceives, which is equally variable." "The dispute over authorship has left such uncertainty in the minds of man that some people have gone so far as to doubt whether they were ever created at all."

So the big question really is, who are you? What are you? Are you the son of God as He created you? Or have you become something else? Do you want to be something else? Are you a body? Are you a relationship, or a child that you possess, or an object you own? Are you a social status or a financial position? Are you your job, or your role as a parent? Are you made of the guilt and fear and sin that you feel? Are you your thoughts and your thinking? Are you the intellect? Are you awareness? Do you have a soul?

Finding out who you really are, knowing yourself, is what Jesus says is the entire point of this course. It's about remembering and waking up to the recognition that you are still exactly the same identity that God created you to be forever. You are still Christ, you are still a soul, still part of the sonship, still perfect. Still a spiritual being. And your real identity is shared with all the other Sons of God.

So our whole process here is just sorting out, what are we experiencing as being our identity, who or what have we identified with or latched onto, what is it that we think is our self, and where have we put that? What have we tried to become "one with", other than God? What have we wrapped ourselves around in trying to portray ourselves as something God did not create?

If I think I am my body or my thoughts and have actually bound myself to them such that I seem to experience them "as me", then I am in need of correction. I am out of touch with who I really am and am believing I am something I am not. This means I lack awareness or awakening, or am unconscious. These mis-identifiations with things we are not, are blocks to awareness.

"I am not a body I am free, for I am still as God created me."

"Yet this protection needs to be preserved by careful watching. If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick. "

"The ego IS therefore a confusion in identification, which never had a consistent model, and never developed consistently."

"By accepting the Atonement for YOURSELF, you are deciding AGAINST the belief that you can BE alone, thus dispelling the idea of separation and affirming your true identification with the whole Kingdom as literally PART OF YOU. This identification is as beyond doubt as it is beyond belief. Your wholeness HAS no limits, because its being is in Infinity."

"EVERYTHING you perceive as the outside world, is merely your attempt to maintain your ego identification, for everyone believes that identification is salvation."

"They are reflections both of your own proper identification WITH your brothers, and of your own awareness that YOUR identification IS maintained by extension."

"The IDEA of separation PRODUCED the body, and remains connected TO it, MAKING it sick because of its identification WITH it."

"This false identification makes you incapable of understanding what anything is for."

"When you imprison yourself, you are losing sight of your true identification with me and with the Father. Your identification IS with the Father and with the Son. It CANNOT be with one and not the other. If you are part of one, you MUST be part of the other because they ARE One."

"In his complete identification with the Christ--the perfect Son of God, His one creation and His happiness, forever like Himself and One with Him - Jesus became what all of us must be."

"As long as your identification vacillates, (and B's is weak) you cannot accept the gift that belongs to you."

"Your identification with the Kingdom is totally beyond question except by you WHEN YOU ARE THINKING INSANELY."

"ALL attack is self attack. It cannot BE anything else. Arising from your OWN decision NOT to be what you ARE, IT IS AN ATTACK ON YOUR IDENTIFICATION. "

"Miracles praise God through men. They praise God by honoring his Creations, affirming their perfection. They heal because they deny body-identification and affirm Soul-identification. By perceiving the Spirit, they adjust the levels and see them in proper alignment. This places the Spirit at the center, where Souls can communicate directly."

"This is not my name alone, for ours is a shared identification. "

"The body is the ego's home by its own election. It is the only identification with which it feels safe, because the body's vulnerability is its own best argument that you CANNOT be of God."

"For example, if the identification is with the body, consciousness may distort superconscious impulses by denying their Source, and seeking their impact in the orgasm."

If you were not afraid of death, you would remember God. The fear is death is a reaction to the belief in death. And the belief in death is an attempt to give reality, truth, life, will, power and mind, to the opposite of God.

By believing in death, you are trying to avoid God. Death is the attractor which tempts you away from life, and God is Life. It is the polar opposite, the nemesis of life and the alternative to reality. It is nothing less than the idea of non-existence, the logical complete extreme which is thought to oppose God's will entirely.

It is not simply that you are afraid that loved ones will die. It's that you believe in death, alone, and this belief is flooding over and infesting your view of others. You are afraid of people dying and losing what you value because you believe in death.

The belief in death is the belief that death can do something, that it has a power to cause something, that it brings reality to a stop, and ends life. We've given our power away to death and have worshipped it. We've made it our idol, and have tried to use it as a substitute for life.

We say we don't want it but there is no difference between making the world real and making death real. The world IS death."This is a dream of death."

"Without the idea of death there is no world."

So while we're working on changing our premise of reality from "the world is real" to "the world is a dream", we will also encounter the idea that everything we believed about death is also untrue. Death has to be brought fully into question. Its seeming reality has to be taken away. Your belief in it has to be undone. You cannot accept your immortality otherwise.

Without the idea of death, there is no world, because the world is a dream of death. "The world was made as an attack on God." "The world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's son." So long as we give any belief to this world, we are believing in death. So long as we believe we are bodies, we are believing in death. So long as we put our faith or value or credit or importance or worth or treasure into the things of this world, we are investing in death.

The process of awakening from the dream of death, is nothing short of the process of overcoming death itself. To reach the atonement is to resurrect, and the resurrection is the assertion of Life. The assertion of God. It is a reunion with Life, in which death is blotted out entirely.

"For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever."

To give reality to the world is to give reality to death. It is an attempt to step away from God. It's an avoidance of life. The only way to reclaim your immortal reality is to step out of the dream of death through truth and into the light, where there is no death. There is no death because there is no world.

"There is no death, the Son of God is free."

"What would you see, WITHOUT the fear of death? What would you feel and think, if death held NO attraction for you? Very simply, YOU WOULD REMEMBER YOUR FATHER. The Creator of life, the Source of everything that lives, the Father of the Universe, and of the Universe of universes, and of everything that lies even BEYOND them, would you remember. And, as this Memory rises in your mind, peace must still surmount a final obstacle, AFTER which is salvation completed, and the Son of God ENTIRELY restored to sanity. For here, your world DOES end.

The fourth obstacle to be surmounted, hangs like a heavy veil before the face of Christ. Yet, as His face rises beyond it, shining with joy because He is in His Father's love, peace will lightly brush the veil aside and run to meet Him, and to JOIN with Him at last. For this dark veil, which seems to make the face of Christ Himself like to a leper's, and the bright rays of His Father's Love which light His face with glory appear as streams of blood, fades in the blazing light BEYOND it, when the fear of death is gone.

This is the darkest veil, -- upheld by the belief in death, and protected by its attraction. The dedication to death and to its sovereignty is but the solemn vow, the promise made in secret to the ego, never to lift this veil, not to approach it, nor even to SUSPECT that it is there. This is the secret bargain, made with the ego, to keep what lies BEYOND the veil forever blotted out and unremembered. Here is your promise never to allow union to call you OUT of separation; the great amnesia in which the memory of God seems quite forgotten; the cleavage of your Self from you; THE FEAR OF GOD, the final step in your dissociation."

Each of us has free will. Each of us has everything within us, given by God. No-one can add to what you are or to what is true of you. However, when you are denying your own perfection, a situation arises where you may seem to need guidance or teaching from others.

But the ultimate aim of this teaching isn't to give you something you don't have, it's to help you to find it within yourself, given that it's there already. Actually in the Psychotherapy pamphlet we're told that really psychotherapy is the only form of therapy, ie teaching. That any teacher is really a healer/therapist who should be helping you to heal from your self-induced amnesia.

But what often happens is that we become enamored with certain teachers, particularly in terms of personality worship. We grow dependent on them, look up to them, put them on a bedestal, and look to them to give you everything you lack. And when they do seem to give you things you think you lack, you think of them as a kind of savior. And you will then start to defend them rather blindly against any questioning of their integrity or truth.

What happens here is that when we lack total responsibility for what we are doing to ourselves, and for owning up to being CHRIST, we project this responsibility onto teachers. We more or less want them to be what we are insisting on not being. We want them to have all the answers, to do for us what we don't want to do ourselves, and to lead us out of the desert.

There is a high likelihood that, when it appears that someone else has stuff that you lack, or knows stuff you don't know, that you'll form a dependent relationship with them. You'll actually be forming a SPECIAL relationship with them. This means that you include them and allow them to give to you, or to get from them, at the same time as shutting others out and rejecting them.

It's a conditional relationship permitted only within the confines of your limitations. It's even possible to use a teacher to keep yourself in the dark, by finding someone who agrees with everything you say and never questions your mistakes. And so your specialized ego "likes" them and sees them as an ally, precicely because they really don't challenge or teach you anything you don't already believe. Using them as a way to prove yourself right isn't really an openness to learning.

These special relationships with teachers lead a lot of "followers" to become sheep, or blind cattle, the herd, simply following along and hanging off every word as if it's the whole truth. Not questioning anything and trying to just absorb whatever is expressed. This happens when a person stops thinking for themselves and places far too much responsibility into the hands of another.

Particularly if that other is quite intelligent and seems to know more than you, in that they can run circles around you and keep you bound to them because you lack the ability to see through their deceptions.

What is supposed to happen to move towards a holy relationship, is that you are supposed to become EQUAL with everyone. And that means you can't be under the thumb of a teacher, or bound to a specific individual, or worshipping the ground someone walks on, or just blindly believing everything someone says without any discernment of your own. You're not supposed to be a sheep, you're supposed to be a fully autonomous perfect being with no needs and dependent only on God. And if you're becoming defensive on behalf of some teacher you think is infallible, you've got a problem.

What I see is that these dynamics of idol worship and specialness mirror a lot of what happens in parent-child relationships. Whereby the parent takes on a role of "being parental", which often involves control and protection and manipulation and so on, and in many cases an obsession or "need" to forever maintain that role. The parent can identify with the role and see themselves as only that, instead of an equal.

And in turn, the child can often "be a child" for life, always under the parent's thumb, not seeing themselves as equal to the parent or having a holy relationship with them.

There's always tons of skewed dysfunctional relationship dynamics, where the child can't get out from under the weight of the parent's overbearing nature, and the parent doesn't want to stop being a parent. So that sets up a vicious cycle of being kept in the dark, disempowered, overpowered, and unequal.

The same thing happens with all kinds of teachers IF the teacher or the student develops a special relationship with them. If the teacher doesn't lift the student UP to their own level and SET THEM FREE of themselves, then they are not really teaching a whole lesson. If the student is addicted to the teacher and of remaining in their shadow and having a conditional exclusive relationship with them, they are trying to remain a child, treating the teachers as a parental figure.

You can see this happening a lot when people hang off every word a particular teacher says under some kind of assumption that everything they say is correct. Or people who seem to "resonate" with a certain person, and who "seems to make sense" to them, and so they don't see a need to question anything. People then form into camps and groups and little armies which fight silly wars about which one is right.

What any ACIM student should be doing is honoring their TOTAL FREEDOM, by recognizing that a guide should always respect their free will, and the fact that you were created perfect. This means recognizing that no other person can give you what God gave you in your creation. And any person can only at best ADVISE you and give you guidance or information, and you're not supposed to treat them like an idol to be worshipped or as some kind of God-like parental figure that you live in the shadow of. We are all supposed to be equals.

Addiction to teachers can particularly happen, I think, for people who perhaps struggle with the course a lot, and need someone else to help them. But if we are not careful we in fact give our power away to such people and blur the lines as to who is responsible for CHOOSING TO BELIEVE whether something is true or not. We are all supposed to discern and freely decide whether to accept or deny truths, not to just "feed off" someone who looks like a leader who seems to spoonfeed endless volumes of food to you.

Think for yourself. Question your teachers. Find out if IF something is true and WHY. Be willing to be mistaken. And be willing to recognize that any and all teachers may be mistaken as well. Only the Holy Spirit and the ascended ones truly know what the whole story is.

To accomplish this you need to portray yourself as different from God - not loving and not lovable.

You proceed to arrange for a whole bunch of people to come along and attack you. They are to do it out of the blue and it should appear to be uncalled for.

To make it uncalled for, you go into denial (amnesia) which puts you into a body. This body-self can now be attacked by the people you hired.

They come along and attack you and you feel affected. It changes your view of yourself. It makes you feel unloved. You use it to redefine yourself as unloved and unworthy of love. Apparently their actions proved it to you.

Now you, as the so-called victim, get to pretend that you did not ask for this at all. You also get to use this entire "I've been victimized" STORY, to describe and rationalize and justify why you're perfectly entitled to feeling unworthy. It was other people's choices, not your own. You claim you never hired them and didn't ask for it.

You feel sorry for yourself, hurt, destroyed, unloved, unworthy, sometimes to a very serious degree. It feels awful and you feel unfairly treated and sad about what happened to you. But, this is a fantastic disguise.

The unworthiness rejects love and portrays you as separate from God, because if God can't love you then you've had power over God's will. So indirectly, by way of your own self-arranged role of victim, you get to explain why God can't love you, which fulfills your WISH - your secret plan - to deny and reject God.

At some point you have to admit what you've done. You have to realize that you arranged everything to happen, you asked everyone to attack you, you orchestrated all of the events before you came into them, and you positioned yourself as a victim in order to disguise your secret death wish. You wanted to be dead because that would prove you are not like God, who is Life.

So if you're going to get honest, you will have to admit you did all of this. And since you arranged it all, you can no longer blame anyone. You can't blame the attackers. You can't use them to justify your unworthiness. And you can't keep up the PRETENSE that you are unworthy because, let's face it, you WANT to be unworthy on purpose so that you can deny God.

So really, as you allow this TRUTH to sink in, it is setting you free, because it's showing you that, really, nobody else has done anything against your will. You chose all of this. Sick as it may be, you did this to yourself.

Once you become REALLY CLEAR about this fact, completely owning up to this 100% without any blame on any external cause or anyone doing it to you or you being unfairly treated in any way, that it's all a big LIE, you are left with a simple situation.

There you are, all alone, having let everyone else off the hook (they were just doing their job which you hired them to do), you no longer can pin the responsibility on anyone else. Not even on God. It's not God's fault. So you're holding this whole game in your own hands, and you realize - the secret to salvation: You have done this to YOURSELF. All of it. The whole drama and the whole story that backed it up.

So if you did this to yourself, and if there is nowhere to PROJECT the blame, and you're taking full responsibility, THEN ...... you're going to experience something very obvious. You're going to experience what it feels like to admit that you have done nothing but be SELF DEFEATING. You haven't been defeated by anyone else or any other will. You've defeated yourself. And how does defeat feel?

Self defeat feels like TOTAL FUTILITY. That it is pointless. If nobody else is doing this to you - and you're fully clear on that - then - what's the point? Why continue with this game? Why continue with doing this to yourself when all of the 'reasons' - the false justifications and blame - has been shown for what it is, a lie? Why WOULD you do this to yourself?

When you get to this point and with nobody to project this onto, you ONLY have one decision. Either you keep feeling like SHIT, or you stop playing this silly ego game. Are you enjoying feeling unworthy for NO reason, especially when you DON'T HAVE TO? Accepting love starts to look a heck of a lot more attractive when you start to compare what your two options really are - do I give up this FUTILE fight against myself, which is only making me feel SHIT, or do I ADMIT that this isn't WORKING - it isn't making me HAPPY, and just drop the whole God-dam thing?

Why not just drop it and go back to God? Why keep fighting and denying and trying not to be loved, when love is perfectly on offer? You can't stop God from loving you. And he hasn't born a grudge because of your reluctance to accept it. So love is on offer, and you feel shit, and now what? Are you done feeling shit? Or do you want some more shit? Go ahead if you want some more. Maybe you are not ready yet. But typically (I am being presumptuous), once you take that full responsibility and stop projecting, and OWN the decision YOU made to WANT to deny love, you're probably going to realize how tremendously ridiculous it is, with no real merit at all. And that's probably enough to make you decide to SURRENDER.

Like, over here there's this big gleaming CAKE that you can eat and have as much as you like and it tastes great, OR you can go and starve and die. Your choice. Or, over here there is massive amounts of love that is totally FREE with no strings attached, being offered unconditionally, OR you can go rot in a corner feeling miserable.

Your choice. It was your choice to deny that God exists. It is still your choice whether you are WILLING to ACCEPT His love again. And this is where acceptance comes in. The opposite of denial is acceptance. Either you're denying love, or you're accepting it. Either you're choosing against love, or you're choosing FOR love.

And this is where it is decision time. You now get to CHOOSE. Do I want life, or death? Do I want happiness, or hell? Do I want love, or war? You choose. Nobody's forcing you. There's no pressure. You are free.

HOPEFULLY .... you will see enough SENSE, that you will choose to admit to the futility of your choice, and you will admit it is futile, and you will drop it. You'll drop your fight and just say, FUCK IT, I'm going back to God... going back Home to love. Why not! THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE - because you already lost everything when you denied love. THERE IS EVERYTHING TO GAIN, because God is offering everything you could possibly want that you've been missing out on. It's a total WIN.

So now you choose God, by ACCEPTING what God is offering - the truth about God - love - and thus accepting that you are NOT separate from God, that the denial is a lie - God DOES exist, that God DOES love you, and that nothing has changed. This is accepting the ATONEMENT. You are becoming at-one with what you previously thought was separate.

Acceptance is peace.

Surrender your will and allow God to restore your sanity.

You need His love.

Choose again.