Lately when I read ACIM talking about time, I have a different impression of it. There's because there's "physical" time and "psychological" time, like two layers.

In some parts we're told basically that as soon as the current moment is done, it is gone. That whatever is "here and now" in the physical sense, is all that there remains. Prior configurations, previous states, stuff that seemed to happen before, it's all over the instant it happens. This "physical time", part of spacetime, is a constantly evolving changing world of form.

Then in other parts Jesus talks more about a kind of psychological time. This psychological time is an interpretation of what's happening, in which you can either be very present with whatever is physically here now, or you can be somewhat distanced from it by focusing on beliefs and memories about stuff from "the past".

In our minds we have sort of invented an idea of the past, in which we keep holding onto stuff which is already gone. So the physical "time" of spacetime seems to march onward, in which the states of material objects are gone forever and have been replaced, and in which only the current stuff you are faced with now is all that's left. And then there's an overlay of psychological perception and use of the world, which can be deeply invested in things that have gone by, or present here now.

When the mind is much more present with what it is faced with here and now, it is closer to what seems to be called a "holy instant", or in effect, moments of the current configuration of the world which are squarely focused on the present here and now, seen without looking toward the past or future.

An instant of spacetime, a moment of happenings, present events and arrangements of objects etc, as though keeping pace with it and always focusing on what is current. Jesus seems to call this immediacy of and use of "time", ie being in the present or "now", a string of holy instants. As Jesus says "now is the only time." But of course, in spacetime, the forms constantly change still. But as soon a their state changes, the old state is gone forever.

But if your mind is heavily preoccupied with the past and future, this takes you away from the present. In particular if you believe that someone attacked you at some point in time, and you have not forgiven this, and are holding onto it, you have a grievance which anchors your mind in the past and focuses you on what is not happening anymore.

You can only have grievances based on things that happened in the past. Someone "doing something to you" immediately becomes past-tense, and now you recall it like a wound that keeps reminding you of something that is already over and gone. You won't let it go, so you keep pulling it back up from what seems like a psychological past, to relive it, regurgitating it and trying to keep it going, not letting go of what has already gone.

Without a psychological past it is impossible to retain grievances of any kind because you can only be upset about what someone "did", which is always past tense the instant that is has happened. Without a past you cannot have any unforgiveness.

And as Jesus leads off in the workbook, with "I see only the past", he's talking about how we are so heavily attached to things that happened "before" that we haven't accepted as "gone", that we are living in a kind of haze of hypnotic memory and recall, dwelling on things which are not here anymore.

And because of this, we filter the "present" configuration of the world through a lens of history, of unforgiven grievances, of resistance to God's presence, which causes us to not see anything "as it is now".

There can only be grief over things which once were seemingly here, which have gone, such as physical bodies, and the unwillingness to truly accept that they are not here now. To let go of the past is to let go of lost treasures and special relationships which are over already. We just struggle with the fact of their extinction, because the very instant that they are gone, they are gone.

As we move toward God, who is always present and lives only in the eternal "here and now" or "always and forever", we must move our psyche out of the past and into the present. Not that we're trying to make the world out to be real or anything, because its forms will still change and shift as they always do in illusions. But we are at least trying to get a look at the world through present-tense eyes which are clean and new and forgiving and which are not projecting past sins or ancient hatreds onto it.

Thus "in time", or at least, in the progression of change of form, our view of that form can come from a more centred and present frame of reference, which is a holier state and closer to God. The present "now" of time is symbolic of eternity and it is where we can most fully connect with God. Being "in the past", mentally, is an attempt to create "more spacetime" ie more distance and more delay between us and God, and between us and reality.

So there's a kind of physical spacetime, and there is also a kind of psychological spacetime. When the psychological spacetime completely lets go of the past and future, and becomes fully present, it looks upon the physical spacetime with fresh loving eyes, which do not not use past happenings as condemnations, and does not look to the the past for truth.

Then once the forgiven world is seen and looked past with this present light, we are close enough to "what really is" that we can transcend and overlook the world, and move on to our home in God. God is always here and now, and has always been here and now, and will always be here and now. It is only your mind that has wandered off into a movement away from what remains.

"Release the future. For the past is gone, and what is present, freed from its bequest of grief and misery, of pain and loss, becomes the instant in which time escapes the bondage of illusions where it runs its pitiless, inevitable course. Then is each instant, which was slave to time, transformed into a holy instant when the light that was kept hidden in God's Son is freed to bless the world. Now is he free, and all his glory shines upon a world made free with him, to share his holiness."

"Judgment ALWAYS rests on the past, for PAST experience is the basis on which you judge. Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for WITHOUT it you do NOT understand anything. You would make no ATTEMPT to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not know WHAT ANYTHING MEANS. You are afraid of this, because you believe that, WITHOUT THE EGO, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that, without the ego, ALL WOULD BE LOVE."

"The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love."

"When your peace is threatened, or disturbed in ANY way, say to yourself, "I do not know what anything, INCLUDING THIS, means. And so I do NOT know HOW TO RESPOND TO IT. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now." By this refusal to attempt to teach yourself what you do not know, the Guide Whom God has given you, will speak to you. HE will take His rightful place in your awareness, the instant YOU abandon it, and offer it to Him."

Ego always wants what it doesn't want, and doesn't want what it wants, because it is a contradictory though system that makes no sense. It may say it does not want death, and does not want people to be dead, but it does.

So while it says it does not want death, does not want people (bodies) to die, does not want sickness etc, it simultaneously is believing in and wanting those things. It is simultaneously attracted to and repulsed by everything, which is part of the uncertainty of fear as well. Insanity is two-faced like this, it can't commit to any one thing fully.

So in our egos, in our false perceptions, our insane split minds, our belief in separation, we literally believe both that a) we do not want death to happen and b) we totally want it to happen. This has to be looked at and recognized. It does mean that if we "don't want death", we DO want it.

Adopting any attitude based on "it really happens" is wanting it, having already given it reality and truth and value. If you value it you make it real. If you value it you want it to happen and try to make it happen. To believe in death, which is not love, is murderous.

Making death unreal is the only way to not play the game and get out of the flip-flopping confusion of wanting it and not wanting it. It's like being addicted to something that hurts you. You hate it and love it at the same time, in a twisted sort of way.

While you might try to take a side, and side with the angle that you do NOT want a person to have died (a body identified person), the mere belief that they are a body and HAVE died IS a decision to join in false empathy and to therefore value death and WANT it to be real. This is why for example in ACIM Jesus says that we try to keep people in their bodies, held there by guilt.

"As long as you believe that, to be with a body, is companionship, you will be COMPELLED to attempt to keep your brother IN his body, HELD THERE BY GUILT." UrT15H12

Our world-driven body-based perspective that bodies are real people, and we do not want them leaving "this world" because that seems like an end from our point of view, is totally blind to the fact that we belong in another world, and coming HERE is death. Birth is death. And even coming into this world took place BECAUSE we wanted to believe in death and keep it.

Prisoners have gone into a prison and are so insane that they believe the prison in their home and they don't want to leave, and are kicking and screaming to stay in the prison, because they think that outside the prison walls is a prison, and that they are free right now in their cell. They have no idea how backwards their thinking is and do not even recognize a prison when they see one.v

So yes if you are "upset by" some body person dying, it does mean that you believe it is real, want it, are choosing it, are reinforcing it, are being murderous, and are participating in trying to keep the person in a state of death. You'd rather they be suffering and dying than alive in God. Whether your ego likes to hear this or not is another matter, but we have to be honest and willing to look at it if we want salvation.

Being in grief, the grief simultaneously is a reaction that seems to say "I care greatly about this person and now they've been destroyed and I feel bad about that because I don't want it" .... at the same time as ..... "I totally want to believe they're dead and I'll happily bargain that they come back into their body and stay in a body forever in my little prison world and die along with me."

So then you discover that the grief is not just "pure grief" or purely justified or purely innocent or purely anything. It's not a whole story. It's a tainted mix of ego reaction and a sort of fake remorse masquerading as caring and feeling a loss, much like what we do in guilt. The loss is a lie because if the mind believes there is a loss it is choosing it and wants it. All emotions are caused by the mind choosing to feel what it wants.

"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is." UrW152L1

We do have secret ulterior and selfish motives. We want them back because WE feel deprived. Our egos want to keep people in bodies forever and keep destroying them forever. A living death, followed by the death of non-life. Just recycling around over and over again, but never waking up from it. We can even say that yes it is selfish to grieve, it's always about a sense of what we want, what we have lost, how we feel hurt by what someone has done, anger at someone's leaving, as if their death attacked us. It's not easy to admit to how unforgiving this viewpoint is.

Remember that nothing real can be threatened. If something seems to have been threatened it cannot have been real. We believe it was real, which is a mistake. Believing a person is a body and that the body and world are real is a mistake. When the body, like a chunk of reality, goes away, we are forced into an experience of having lost a part of reality itself, as if part of God is dead. That MUST cause a sense of loss. It's not based on a real truth, but it's based on a perceived truth, and can produce horrendously deep despair.

But the despair is a lie. It's fake. It seems justified and understandable and common ("normal") and so on, but it is not really natural under God's laws. If nothing real can ever die, which is true, then there can BE no reason for despair. And the despair must be a smokescreen to hide a wish for death to be real, and for God's truth to not be true.

Grief isn't just grief, it's a mask used to cover up attack. Just as the "face of innocence", which sees itself as unfairly treated and unwillingly caused to lose something it values, secretly hides a vicious special hatred and a desire to attack and destroy. The victimy little "poor me" of the suffering grieving self is essentially an attempt to enter into the perceived death and join with it and be one with it, such as to become dead also.

This is why in grieving we are not really living, and people have a really hard time returning to life. I might feel grief still but at the same time that means I am believing in death and not life. It means I'm trying to join with the death and die along with it. That's not living. Eventually the sympathetic "part of me has died" game has to be given up and we have to RESURRECT back to a firm commitment to immortality and eternal life. God does not will that we suffer.

Yes it is very very very hard and deep and horrible to go through grief, but grief is not grief. Nor is the only way out to "go through it". It is deception. And no matter how long it takes or how quickly, we are asked to rise up out of it (the battlefield) into the light where loss is impossible and we can be only happy. We do not escape death by dying, we escape it through the light of truth.

The end of grief is the end of death. How much suffering is enough before we will choose again for a better way?

"Loss is not loss when properly perceived. Pain is impossible. There is no grief with any cause at all and suffering of any kind is nothing but a dream. Such is the truth, at first to be but said, and then repeated many times, and next to be accepted as but partly true, with many reservations, then to be considered seriously more and more, and finally accepted as the truth. I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt. And I would go beyond the words today, go past all reservations, and arrive at full acceptance of the truth in them." W248

"For what would be the use of pain to me; what purpose would my suffering fulfill; and how would grief and loss avail me, if insanity departs from me today, and I accept my holiness instead?" W285 "Who could despair when perfect joy is yours, available to all as remedy for grief and misery, all sense of loss, and for complete escape from sin and guilt?" UrW165L5

"Forgiveness IS your peace, for herein lies the end of separation, and the dream of danger and destruction, sin and death; of madness and of murder, grief and loss." UrT29G1

"He laughs as well at pain and loss, at sickness and at grief, at poverty, starvation and at death. He recognizes sacrifice remains the one idea that stands behind them all, and in his gentle laughter are they healed." UrW187:6

"The way is not hard, but it IS very different. Yours is the way of pain, of which God knows nothing. THAT way is hard indeed, and very lonely. Fear and grief are your guests, and they go with you, and abide with you on the way. But the dark journey is not the way of God's Son. " UrT10D4

"Release the future. For the past is gone, and what is present, freed from its bequest of grief and misery, of pain and loss, becomes the instant in which time escapes the bondage of illusions where it runs its pitiless, inevitable course." UrW195L5

"Unshaken does the Holy Spirit look on what you see; on sin and pain and death, on grief and separation and on loss. Yet does He know one thing must still be true; God still is Love, and this is not His Will." UrW95L5 "If you have the gift of everything can loss be real? Can pain be part of peace, or grief of joy? UrW155L2

"Through this, he learns that where he anticipated grief, he finds a happy light-heartedness instead; where he thought something was asked of him he finds a gift bestowed on him." UrM5B5

"The gentle have no pain. They cannot suffer. Why would they not be joyous? They are sure they are beloved and must be safe. Joy goes with gentleness as surely as grief attends attack. God's teachers trust in Him. And they are sure His Teacher goes before them, making sure no harm can come to them. UrM5F1