Some important reminders and notes about why you are here and what your true calling is. I use this as a clarifying reminder to myself when I often forget...

Being the light of the world - your true calling - your true mission and purpose - the meaning of your life - what you really want to do in life:

You have been chosen to represent God

Be in the position of having awakened, and therefore are looking down on the world from a wiser higher place, and therefore see all others need help to awaken

The great crusade which Jesus calls us to embark on, as active workers, that awakening is not complete while one soul sleeps, and that lack of love in others is intolerable.

The crusade is the atonement, which is the long-term total plan for the complete awakening of ALL souls

You have a special function to play in the atonement which only you can play, which means not only you can awaken yourself, but also that you will be specifically guided what to do and where to go etc

Choosing to represent the truth and be in truth makes you a spiritual LEADER and not a follower, and therefore your role is to lead others not follow them, unless they are truly your teacher or guide

Teachers attract the students who are ready for their teaching, to impart the greater light they have to those who temporarily have less

Jesus will send you the people that he wants you to perform miracles for and you have the capability to do so, and exercising this ability is the expression of Him

The disciples were instructed to go out and be physicians and heal the sick, as well as healing themselves

Jesus asks us to DO something to correct the error, not just learn about it

Jesus asks us not to be content until the whole world has joined us in our awakened perception

It is an invitation to everyone to wake up and return to God, this is the curriculum - learning the truth, so teachers of the curriculum (teachers of God) teach the truth and help others awaken

Teaching is by example and demonstration and doesn’t just mean ‘passively being a light’ that has no power or effect

We’ve disowned ourselves, disassociated from who we are, given away our power, and projected responsibility for everything outside of ourselves as ego. We need to take that all back and reclaim who we really are. And that means helping everyone else to do so also, because if it applies to us it has to apply to them too since we are all One

Being loving means offering love which heals and sheds light on suffering and undoes ego and restores health and awakens minds and brings God’s sons back to Him, which we are to help in the process of

It is natural to want to help others when you are aware that you are love, when you are not absorbed with your own ego mind’s control, and are therefore free and available to serve - to serve God and our brothers, rather than the ego, because then your hands are empty (come unto God with empty hands) and that means "sign me up God!", I'm available.

Miracles intervene for holiness of ourselves and our brothers and are expressions of love to our brothers meaning we need to extend that love to them and help them.

You are the light of the world. You are its salvation.

Either its love or a call for love. But you can't recognize that a call for love is ONLY a call for love if you are not already loving.

So there you are, not being loving yourself, and you see another person not being loving either, and instead of being able to see clearly and recognize their call for love, you instead see it as a call for attack.

In other words, you see your own attack reflected in the person and can't look past it.

So it's all very well saying that people are calling for love and that we need to give love, but if you are not giving love you won't even be able to perceive this clearly. You'll see the person attacking you and not loving you and you won't think, oh, that person is calling for love - it won't be obvious and immediate - and if you try to force yourself to 'see it' then you're just faking it.

When you are love, it frames all of reality and all perception in such a way that everything strikes you differently. You have enough clarity and knowing to be able to DISCERN that someone is either being loving or is calling for love. Its obvious to you that the person is hurting or that they need help or that their real need is love, rather than what they say they need.

I don't know that it's helpful to try to go around thinking of everyone as calling out for love. If I'm not 100% loving then it isn't genuine. It can be a GOAL, however, to become able to discern that there is only love or a lack of love, but I can't possibly expect myself to be able to perceive this while I still have an ego.

With an ego I will see ego in others and I will see it as a justified attack that justifies why I should NOT love in return. I need to use this to help me to raise my own awareness about how *I* have blocked love and am calling for love, then allow love in, so that I can allow it to extend to others also.

Once I've done that, and have become the light of love, then I WILL be able to see that what other people are doing is calling out for love, and that love is the ONLY appropriate answer to respond with in every case.

In the manual for teachers, there's a section called "Does Jesus have a Special Place in Healing". In this section, it actually talks about how Jesus CAN BE involved in healing. ie miracle working. Which ties in nicely with Jesus telling us "You will see miracles through your hands through me."

Essentially it is saying that Jesus has gone all the way to Heaven, and we should be thankful to Him for achieving this for and with us. And also that he has UNLIMITED POWER, and that He is still with us, and that we should turn to Him for help. It also speaks of how you should call upon or pray in his name, ie "In the name of Jesus Christ", in gratitude to Him and God, as part of healing. That by doing so you are calling upon the power of God.

This is why if you are to LITERALLY lay your hands on people and have Jesus perform "miracles through your hands" through Him, it is because He is currently MORE CAPABLE than you are of performing healing, and calling up on Him to do so is how you can perform miracles for others.

Here's some pertinent parts of what it says:

"Even the most advanced of God's teachers will give way to temptation in this world. Would it be fair if their pupils were denied healing because of this?"

"The Bible says, "Ask in the name of Jesus Christ.""

"What does it mean to call on Jesus Christ? What does calling on his name confer? Why is the appeal to him part of healing?"

"We have repeatedly said that one who has perfectly accepted the Atonement for himself can heal the world."

"He has become the risen Son of God. He has overcome death because he has accepted life."

"There is now no limit on his power, because it is the power of God. So has his name become the Name of God, for he no longer sees himself as separate from Him."

"It means that in remembering Jesus you are remembering God."

"his completed learning guarantees your own success."

"Is he still available for help? What did he say about this? Remember his promises, and ask yourself honestly whether it is likely that he will fail to keep them."

"Who transcends the body has transcended limitation. Would the greatest teacher be unavailable to those who follow him?"

"The name of Jesus Christ as such is but a symbol. But it stands for love that is not of this world. It is a symbol that is safely used as a replacement for the many names of all the gods to which you pray."

"It becomes the shining symbol for the Word of God, so close to what it stands for that the little space between the two is lost, the moment that the name is called to mind. Remembering the name of Jesus Christ is to give thanks for all the gifts that God has given you."

"Jesus has led the way. Why would you not be grateful to him?"

"He has remained with you."

"Would you not learn the lesson of salvation through his learning? Why would you choose to start again, when he has made the journey for you?"

"No one on earth can grasp what Heaven is, or what its one Creator really means. Yet we have witnesses. It is to them that wisdom should appeal."

"No one who has become a true and dedicated teacher of God forgets his brothers."

"Then turn to one who laid all limits by, and went beyond the farthest reach of learning. He will take you with him, for he did not go alone."

"Would God leave anyone without a very present help in time of trouble; a savior who can symbolize Himself?"

"Jesus has come to answer yours. In him you find God's Answer. Do you, then, teach with him, for he is with you; he is always here."

Those who are sane do not attack, are not sick, cannot hurt or be hurt, are immortal and invulnerable, recognize their oneness with others, have no interest in murder, cannot suffer or be unhappy, can only will with God, and can only heal. Nothing harmful or hurtful can come from a person in their right mind.

When a person is rooted in pure unconditional love, they can do nothing but love. All behaviors are coming from love. All thoughts and attitudes are loving. The right mind is healing, healthy, happy and whole. Sane people are innocent. Sane people are compassionate. Sane people cannot attack.

What this tells you is that 99.99% of the people in the world are not sane. They are not in their right mind. They are also not fully conscious. Anyone who is not in their right mind must have blocks to awareness, must be in denial, must be to some degree unwilling to do God's will, must be sick, and must be to some degree unhappy.

Anyone not in their right mind must have positioned themselves as a victim and a victimizer. The denial/blocks in their mind is preventing them from seeing their invulnerability and their innocence, causes them to be split-minded or in two minds, have a divided will which is acting against itself, and now sees themselves as under attack.

This produces state of non-awareness or unconsciousness. The amount of conscious awareness that remains, which pretends to be a full, complete conscious awareness, is still not fully conscious. Entire portions of the mind have become inaccessible to awareness. Entire portions of a person's identity are hidden from view.

The person thinks they wake up in the morning but they merely pass from sleep to slightly less sleep. The blocks in the mind block sanity. And those who are "sleep walking" in the world are typically not awake. They will tend to hurt and be hurt. They will tend to attack and project. They will tend to sin and feel guilty. They will tend to be afraid and suffer and be sick. And they will tend to be murderous.

What we can see then is that anyone not in their right mind has placed themselves into a state of at least partial unawareness, are attacking themselves unconsciously, do not see what they are doing to themselves and so seek to explain it with causes outside of them, and are in a state of attempted murder. What is not love is murder, and those not in their right mind are not wholly loving.

But someone who is not wholly loving, is not sane. They are insane. They are un-conscious. They are confused. They do not have the awareness that's needed to show them what the obvious truth is. They are out of touch with who they are. They can't tell the difference between what is real and what is not real. They don't know what they are doing. They are acting insanely and are in a state of being mistaken.

If we frame everything that insane people do as being a state of "not knowing what they do", that they are acting this way as a result of mental illness, not being in their right mind, and we can remember that the person is simply not aware of what they are really doing, we can enter into a state of greater compassion.

It's a state of recognition of what the truth is, in which we understand every person is innocent and holy and divine and invulnerable, and so if the person is acting foolishly or murderously they must be in need. They must be lacking love in some way and are calling out for love. They must need help. Something has gone wrong with them and even they are not in a position of awareness to know how to resolve it.

We really need to recognize that most of the people in this world are not sane. Just about everyone has mental illness. And that includes all the people who seem to be conscious, successful, holding down a job, raising a family, displaying confidence, seeming to be fairly happy and sociable, or what you'd consider an "average person". If they were truly fully sane they probably would not be in a body.

If we then recognize that anyone "not being as God created them" is not in their right mind, we can say that they aren't acting the way they are "on purpose". While it's true that on a higher level they ARE choosing everything they are doing, they are not aware of this in their present state of consciousness. They have denied themselves the love that would heal them and so do not want it. And the result of love's absence is insane behavior.

If we can see that everyone is supposed to be being completely happy, joyful, alert, healthy, holy, harmless and peaceful, then if they're not, we know something has gone wrong in their mind. And that means they are calling out for love. They may at the same time not want that love, because their denial of love is what put them into this state to begin with. But they do NEED love because love is all that's absent in their mind. They need the love they have blocked.

It's like, people have tried to unhook themselves from the life support machine of God. They've pulled out the wires and don't want the help. But they NEED the help because of what they've done to themselves and the state they've put themselves in. So now they are calling out for help in the form of not wanting help, which if taken at first appearance seems to be an attack on God and on you. But it is merely an absence of love, just as light would dispel the illusion of darkness.

"It is curious that the perfect must now be perfected. In fact, it is impossible. But you must remember that when you put yourselves in an impossible situation, you believed that the impossible WAS possible."

If you can remember people are mostly insane and not in their right mind and not acting "on purpose" and not really wanting what they are doing, it becomes easier to not be deceived by the illusions they present. There is something deeper going on beyond the surface, beyond behaviors and beyond attacks. Healing is needed, called for, and the only appropriate right-minded response.

Gradually over time as you recognize more clearly who is responsible for doing what to whom, and that all attack is self-attack, you will start noticing that other people's attacks are not really attacks.

Their attack, is not really something which connects to you, bridges a gap between you, or leaves the other person to come into you.

Instead, you will start to get this idea, or simply to notice, to recognize, that although they are TRYING to attack you, it isn't actually attacking you.

If you recognize the person is the one "under attack", and that it's not really about you, you can choose not to USE IT to attack yourself. You can choose not to participate.

Deciding not to participate in their attempted madness makes it possible for you to be present and loving in spite of their attack, to see them as innocent and guiltless, and to offer healing.

Someone could be ranting and raving right in front of your face and, somehow, it's not about you. They're the one who is in pain or calling out for love. It's their expression. And their attempted attack doesn't necessarily have to have any effect on you.

When you are more in-tune with being causal, taking responsibility for what you experience, and knowing that you can only be hurt by yourself, this just becomes clearer and clearer.

This is the beginning of invulnerability and a step towards your immortality and permanent peace.

You might think that, you only need to perform a forgiveness when something seems upsetting, something goes wrong, someone is attacking, or there's a problem.

In particular the ego in us might seem "partly committed" to forgiveness, willing to forgive "part time", only when things are extreme, or when we can find enough willingness. We might only "do it" when we want something, to get a selfish need met, to make the bad stuff go away so we can carry on as an ego. We might only forgive when pushed, or when things become unbearable.

So you might think that some person walking along a street that you don't know, doesn't need you to "forgive" them. That you don't need to forgive the sunsets and the puppies. That you only forgive when something is wrong, or you're not at peace. And if that person on the street doesn't appear to be attacking, hurting, acting viciously or demonstrating ego traits, what reason is there to forgive?

What we need to realize though is that even the states and activities that we think are normal, commonplace, everyday kinds of behaviors, etc, or aspects of the false world which we seem to like, are in fact still unnatural. Someone seeming to coast along in a body having a life is still not living in the mind and spirit of God as God intended. And the world is always an illusion.

A person can seem relatively harmless and not presenting any problems, but that doesn't mean that aren't separating from God. It doesn't mean they're sane or healed or healthy. They very likely have identified with their body, their mind is likely split and confused, they probably believe in separation and have all kinds of ego stuff going on.

What that means is that pretty much anyone in the world in any state is, to some degree, in a state of suffering, a state of despair, a state of confusion and insanity, a state of mistaken identity, a state of separation and a state of attack. Pretty much everyone in the world is in a state of lack and fear.

Because of this, if someone is essentially still in a body and distanced from God, then yes indeed they need to be forgiven. Because that is an attack and also because they are suffering. And not because they're doing anything to you overtly or obviously, but because they themselves are not in a state of love. Anyone not in a state of love is calling out for help.

So then what it comes down to is that you have to start recognizing whether a person is totally living by God's will, being as God created them, identified with spirit, and completely sane, or are they distanced from that? And if they are distanced, then they need healing and help and love and miracles.

It also then becomes clear that forgiveness isn't merely some process that you do "part time". It's not something you switch on and off, which you apply to a situation and step away from. It isn't a temporary action or some procedure that you perform as a one-off. It should be ongoing and permanent.

Forgiveness is in fact a constant state that you are trying to enter and maintain continuously. That means being constantly "on" as a healer. Being in a state of continuous love and power. This is what Jesus calls "miracle readiness", ie being in a state where you are "ready, willing and able." Poised to work miracles ALL the time. And where you recognize and are willing to be loving towards, thus forgiving, everyone you meet.

Essentially, while anyone is left walking the face of the earth in any state short of total enlightenment, you have miracle-working to do. Miracles are EXPRESSIONS FROM a state of miracle mindedness, and are "miracle-doing". They are the process which heals and restores and uplifts, and you perform them from a CONSTANT state, if possible, of "being a forgiving person." Of being a healer.

"Those who are healed become instruments of healing."

A forgiving person isn't a person that "does forgivenesses" now and then. It's someone who has a forgiving attitude, a forgiving state of mind, sane and miraculous, having already healed and received atonement. And now that person is a walking-talking healing machine. And everyone they meet they give the love of God to. Including the random strangers on the street who seem at first to not be calling out for love at all.

"The distinction has also been made here between "miracle-mindedness" as a STATE, and "miracle-doing" as its expression.

The former needs YOUR careful protection, because it is a state of miracle-READINESS. This is what the Bible means in the many references to "Hold yourself ready" and other similar injunctions. Readiness here means keep your perception right side up, (or valid), so you will ALWAYS be ready, willing, and able. These are the essentials for "listen, learn, and do." You must be

READY to listen

WILLING to learn

and ABLE to do

Only the last is involuntary, because it is the APPLICATION of miracles which must be Christ-controlled. But the other two, which are the voluntary aspects of miracle-mindedness, ARE up to you."

"Miracles are natural. When they do NOT occur something has gone wrong."

"That is what we meant when we once said that miracles are NATURAL, and when they do NOT occur, something has gone wrong."

When we talk about miracles I often hear a lot of examples being given of what seemed miraculous to some people. But we need to be clearer about whether something is a miracle or not.

In general language, most people think of a miracle as something that happens that's very unlikely, highly improbably, extraordinary in its seeming marvel at bringing about a solution or resolving some problem.

Like if some person is drowning in a river and someone pulls them out and it seemed highly likely they were going to die, but they live, some might call it a miracle.

Or someone goes through a particular car crash where a wooden post rams through the window and just barely misses killing the person and then they think of it as miraculous because the seeming "odds" of it happening are so extreme.

This all touches on the idea that miracles are generally things that are "highly improbable", and if we take it a step further, impossible. If "the impossible happens" it's so astonishing that we will call it miraculous.

But very highly unlikely things can happen in the world, without it in any way being a miracle. If someone has a brush with death and somehow manages to get past it "against all the odds", we might start calling it a miracle.

And then there's things that people say like, they are performing miracles every day. No, that's not happening. Or that certain things that people like or love are miracles, your children are miracles, every flower is a miracle, etc. These aren't really miraculous in the true sense that's just things that people spiritualize and try to make out to be extra special.

These kind of "miracles" are a combination of wishful thinking, idol worship, specialness, denial, a belief in magic, and a sense of surprise at something that seems unlikely to happen. These kinds of deifnitions of miracles totally water down and suppress what miracles really are, and what they are capable of.

Moses parted an ocean. Jesus raised the dead and healed the sick. He's told us there is NOTHING we cannot do. He's told us miracles can heal the body. He's told us our mind is extremely powerful and that even physically moving a literal mountain is A TINY FEAT for such a power. That even our minds have the power to create entire worlds.

"Why is it strange to you that faith can move mountains? This is indeed a little feat for such a power."

"While expressions like "think big" give some recognition to the power of thought, they still come nowhere near the truth. You do not expect to grow when you say it, because you don't really believe it. It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains."

When the laws of physics are broken, then you're looking at a miracle. When the laws of another world are seeming to operate here, such the the laws of this world are VIOLATED, when the seemingly totally impossible happens, not WITHIN the laws of what's possible in the world, but in spite of them, then that's a miracle.

We're talking here about the reversal of everything the world says can never BE undone. Things which CANNOT happen, but are made possible anyway by a divine, supernatural, mind-driven power. Miracles wield the power of God through the Holy Spirit and Jesus. They CAN DO the very things which the entire world says CAN NEVER be done.

You can't put all the various "its on the news and they're calling it a miracle" episodes of "that wasn't very likely to happen" in the same bucket. We're talking here about a mind power that can manipulate the laws of physics, defy gravity (such as walking on water), alter objects (such as multiplying/materializing food out of nowhere), healing bodies (such as giving someone new eyeballs), you know... stuff that we consider utterly impossible. Stuff that requires a power NOT OF THIS WORLD to perform.

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life."

"What He enables you to do is clearly NOT of this world, for miracles violate every law of reality, as this world judges it. Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended, for what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly beyond ALL of them."

"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and must join the Great Crusade to correct it. The slogan for this Crusade is "Listen, Learn, and Do."

This means Listen to My Voice, Learn to undo the error, and do something to correct it.

The first two are not enough. The real members of my party are active workers. (Urtext version of T-1.III.1:5-6)"

Are you willing to be an active worker in Jesus's plan of atonement, working miracles for others and lifting your brother into awakening? Or are you only interested in undoing the error for yourself?

This is perhaps a major distinction in the course community. Those who listen to the Voice for God and undo error, versus those who did this but also then 'take it to the people' with expressions of love and miracles. Jesus says he wants us to be miracle workers for others and not just for ourselves.

"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and MUST JOIN THE GREAT CRUSADE TO CORRECT IT."

Does this not mean, that you must now actively help others to awaken? That you would naturally want to do this because you love your brother so much? That you would ACT upon this love and express and extend it to others, even intervening for them with miracles (miracles intervene for their holiness). If you truly are in a place of love, then you will become part of the atoning principle, the atoning 'plan' for salvation, of which Jesus is in charge, and then you will be a part of helping to awaken your brother. It's not a crusade like a conquest or war to 'attack' the ego, but rather to heal and help others to be restored to their natural condition (divine health, perfect mind) and to demonstrate and be an example of the truth, sharing it with everyone. It is a calling, to be a representative of God here, while the illusion persists.

"To the ego, the goal is death, which IS its end. But to the Holy Spirit, the goal is life, which HAS no end."

If you imagine that heaven is level 1, above, and earth is level 2, below, then imagine there are some giant arrows pointing in a certain direction. ..... the ego points down towards death, and the holy spirit points up towards heaven and eternal life.

"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives."

All the world's roads lead to death sooner or later. The ego wants you dead. The world was made as an idea of destruction. Everything in it is designed to die. Its "natural" direction, so to speak, is exactly opposite to heaven and everything here points eventually toward death.

This is because the whole system is set up with a GOAL of death, so everything leads to it. It has a giant arrow pointing DOWN into the grave, while the Holy Spirit has a giant arrow pointing UP toward heaven via resurrection.

"The Holy Spirit uses logic as easily, and as well, as does the ego, except that HIS conclusions are NOT insane. They take a direction EXACTLY opposite, pointing as clearly to Heaven as the ego points to darkness and to death."

All the roads, ways, systems, paths, methods, outcomes, likelihoods, consequences, symptoms, effects, conclusions and results of the world all head toward death. The ego in its fear always induces a sense of dread that things are going to get WORSE and end up in death. This is its natural compulsion towards death and its totally unwavering focus on making everything be dead.

"This IS the "natural" condition of the separation. And those who learn that it is NOT natural at all, seem to be the UNnatural ones. For this world IS the opposite of Heaven, having been made to BE its opposite. And EVERYTHING here takes a direction EXACTLY opposite to what is true."

There is another world, which we're calling the Kingdom of God or Heaven, God's creation, which is totally opposite to this world. There, everything always is looking up and points toward life. It is a system of true "life support" and of eternal permanence. It is a system of health and wholeness and happiness and living. It is a living world of light. The Holy Spirit points us TOWARD that world just as much as the ego tries to emphasize that the ground is our final destination.

"While you made plans for death, He led you gently to Eternal Life."

While we're in this world of death, which is a dream of death, and "without the idea of death there is no world", we must learn to trust in ANOTHER world, to look UP toward God and move in the direction of resurrection. At first this will seem very unnatural and difficult because you're so conditioned to believe that all the arrows always MUST point downward into the dirt.

What you have to learn is that all of the arrows of the world can be REVERSED through miracles, through expressions of the Holy Spirit and his teaching. By listening to him and learning of him and becoming a healer with him, you now are acting AGAINST the world and running contrary to the grain. That means the world is going to regard you as unnatural, alien, a reject, crazy, out of touch, ignorant, in denial, and lost - precisely because that's what the death-worshippers are themselves like. Death is the single biggest religion of this planet.

Our challenge then is to turn this situation around. To reverse the arrows, and bring about change in the opposite direction, which is an undoing/atonement and also a resurrecting. It restores life where there was death, it asserts life to blot out death, and it has power OVER death to implement life and resurrect. Miracles undo death, reverse sickness, cancel drastic consequences, erase pain, remove all proof of sin and attack, and re-establish the will and reign of God.

God supports only life and never death, and so must we. To be only in support of LIFE, we have to learn that we are undo no laws but God's, and the laws of the world must be broken. The impossible, in the world's terms, must be performed, in order to prove that it is death that is impossible. The Holy Spirit is here to empower us to do this because he has been sent from another world with the Power of God in him, to heal and to save and to resurrect and lead us home into the light.

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to SHOW him, by your healing, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."

Another malady of ACIM students is becoming paralyzed by trying to comply with ACIM principles 24/7, before you are really ready or able to do so.

This entails calling for sacrifices in your own life or that of others. It's an attempt to fit into the model of truth, or to act or behave as though you are doing it right.

It can also manifest as trying not to judge, by holding your tongue, and secretly judging in your mind. In other words, being in denial or using denial that you are judging.

Generally this is the ego trying to "act like" it is doing the Course. The spiritualized ego. It wants to people-please Jesus and never put a foot wrong.

It also results in victimhood and powerlessness whereby you hold off saying anything to upset anyone, you don't want to act, you stop standing up for yourself, you start tolerating crap and are unwilling to "act like an ego" because "its not course". This can get you really stuck in a rut and suffering.

You don't have to try all the time to be perfect at it. You don't have to be walking around biting your tongue and trying to be all nice to everyone. You don't have to be turning the actions of ASSHOLES into some kind of "its okay" attitude, where you don't do anything about it or stand up for yourself because "that wouldn't be forgiving". Then you end up trying to use the course to solve general real-life problems instead of using normal real-life methods.

Many level confusions arise when you have this issue. You try to meet up to an extraordinarily high standard, you compare yourself to advanced teachers, you feel like crap for not getting it yet, and you generally over-reach and over-demand yourself to succeed at it right now. The ego loves to get in there and push you to "be more spiritual" ... secretly because it believes "you're not spiritual enough".