In the course, Jesus says that decisions are constant. You don't make a decision as though it's one point in time, and then move on with life as though you are no longer deciding. You don't 'choose' something and then proceed as if the choosing is in the past.

You are always choosing.

And that also means, if something seems to 'happen' that seems to 'cause' something such as a sickness or bodily issue etc, that's a decision too... and if that sickness STAYS, or if that condition CONTINUES, it is because there is still an ongoing decision being made.

In other words, decisions are based on whether or not you CHANGE YOUR MIND. If you 'set' your mind (choose), and then you leave it set that way, it will constantly remain in that 'mode' until you change it to something else. That is constant decision. You are constantly sided with or in favor of something, until you change your belief.

Therefore your belief is what your decisions are made of. You set a belief and forget it, but it keeps on running your life. You can set these decisions in early childhood - "I'm not worthy" or whatever... and then you keep it, and it keeps on producing results, over and over and over and over again, until you change your mind. Because it's a constant decision.

As you approach closer to what's in your heart, to be true to yourself, to be authentic and real, expressive and uncensored, you're going to come face to face with blocks to love.

These will come up inside you with an emotional charge likely from past events. This stuff doesn't just go away.

In your past, particularly in childhood, when you were expressing yourself more openly and freely, if you did something that other people decided was "bad" or wrong or that you should be guilty for, and especially if you were punished in some way or love was withheld, then you'll store this belief that being yourself will lead to pain. That unless you censor yourself and stay within the lines, you will likely make mistakes and will suffer for it.

Other ways it comes up is that you can't do what you want or express how you'd like because someone will disapprove, or you're only supposed to do what you were told to do (which is a common parenting style), or that if you do what you want you will displease people, or will experience rejection again.

So then as you go to do what you feel you'd love to do, you'll stop yourself with fear or sickness (as a defense), because you know that based on the past, if you go ahead in this way, someone is going to get hurt. You.

So you fear the same unforgiving attitude, the same unloving response, and the same guilt-trip, pain or suffering. When you believe that being yourself will make you unloveable, how are you going to be yourself?

Making mistakes should lead to forgiveness, be responded to with love, and reassure you that you are still innocent. Especially since "nothing really happened." If they don't, and if something negative happens, and you form a false self image based on this pain (which you do to yourself), then it stays lodged in your mind/emotional body until such a time as you attempt to do something in life that confronts it.

If you're intent on waking up or healing or forgiving etc, then sooner or later you will be pushing the envelope of your beliefs and comfort zones and you're going to come face to face with your pain again. If you want to move forward rather than hit a wall again, healing is going to have to happen. Whether you will have a catharsis or cry your eyes out or do a massive forgiveness or receive a miracle, one way or another the baggage has to go.

But then you will be set free.

The ONLY model for a correctly functioning family, is God's model of Heaven.

It is very simple.

God creates all children of God (Sons of God/Souls) simultaneously.

All of these children are perfectly equal and identical and loved equally. They all love each other equally.

NONE of the children are the CAUSE of each other. They are not Father OR Children to each other. There is NO CAUSALITY between them. They neither cause nor affect each other.

God is their only Father.

God's family has only these levels:

1. God

2. All of His children as equals

3. The children of each child

At all times, you and your brothers are ALWAYS the direct creation of God, and there is nothing else in-between you and God. You do not accrue a lineage of grandparents.

Each son of God also creates, and extends God's love, to produce additional beings who are the children OF children. These are the ONLY part of reality that are truly children of YOU - creations within your being. These children remain only in Heaven and do not incarnate into bodies.

The only correct functioning then is to recognize that ALL CHILDREN OF GOD share the same single Creator - the Holy Father/Mother - God.

This means that there is absolutely ZERO cause or effect between individual sons. Your brother does not cause you. You do not cause your brother. Therefore THERE IS NO horizontal causality between brothers. All you can do is share love with "others".

Anything else that seems to happen, any other dynamic of not being equal to others, any ARTIFICIAL relationship structure such as human parents vs human children, or bosses vs employees, or strangers doing something to you, or you being able to attack others, or some group having power over you, or laws which work against God's family structure, is DYSFUNCTIONAL.

It becomes inherently dysfunctional the instant that you believe your brother can or does do something to you. This is literally the belief that he is the cause of you, meaning you think he is your creator or father, and you are his child. You are positioning yourself as the effect of him. You are NOT the effect of any brother. You are only the effect of God.

Believing otherwise instantly leads to dysfunction where suddenly it seems possible that individual beings are able to attack each other. "Attack" in all its form is an attempt to implement HORIZONTAL CAUSALITY, which the Course refers to as "horizontal perception". Within this horizontal perception, it seems that one brother causes another, one object causes another to react, one cause on the SAME LEVEL causes effects on the SAME LEVEL.

Your brother is on the same level as you. There is no causality on the same level. This level you are on is the EFFECT of a higher level. To believe that your brother is the cause or effect of you is LEVEL CONFUSION.

How about this. How about you recognize that NEVER EVER has there EVER been a cause coming from ANY BROTHER EVER. All throughout history, all throughout your life, all of your experiences, even in childhood, NEVER has there been causality coming from other people toward you, and you have NEVER done anything to anyone else. And right now, you are 100% responsible for EVERYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO DO TO YOURSELF, an there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE that can happen to you against your will because there is NO OTHER CAUSE on the level of your brothers or the level of the world.

What if it is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE for any brother to cause or attack you EVER? And what if no-one has EVER done so? Where does that leave you? It leaves you in a position where you MUST acknowledge that ONLY YOU are the chooser who makes stuff happen to you. Anything you are experiencing YOU MUST HAVE PUT THERE. Anything you feel you want to feel. Any upset you have you choose. Any sickness is put there by yourself. And if you do not choose die nothing can cause you to die. This is the truth of the Course.

No-one else ever causes you anything. You are 100% responsible for everything. "You chose sickness and death and therefore can abolish both."

Arriving at work I encountered my first truck load of live pigs on their way to the sausage factory across the street. It was a double-decker piggy wagon complete with air holes and little pink piggy bits poking out and wiggling around. As I realized what it was, and that it was about to pull into the bacon death machine, I had a reaction.

The reaction felt like sadness coupled with anger. The anger felt like wanting to go stop it, and the sadness felt like the pigs didn't know what was about to happen to them - that they were going to be victimized. Regardless of what was happening, I was having a reaction so now I have to do a fricking forgiveness.

Ok.

So obviously my perception is mistaken, otherwise I wouldn't be upset. It's impossible to be upset about the truth. My perception was showing me that the pigs were helpless victims with no power and seemingly innocent. A voice in my mind, perhaps Jesus, said

"they know what's going to happen". But this didn't necessarily stop me reacting. Truth is though, on some higher level they do know because nothing happens but by choice, and it was really me that was having a dark experience.

So... by seeing the pigs as `innocent victims` with `nasty ego power` being wielded over them against their will, it was a strong contrast showing me where I believe certain things. And it's not about the piggies, because both the pigs and the sausage makers are part of the same ego thought system. The pigs only appear to be victims because I don't see that they chose this, and the sausage folk only seem like victimizers because I think they do something to the pigs they didn't ask for.

And what's this got to do with me? Always it's something to do with me and nothing really to do with them. I'm not upset because of the pigs. I'm not upset because of the bacon fest. I'm upset because it's showing me that I already have something in me, in my mind, which believes in something incorrect, and it's triggering it off. It's not about them, it's about me. I have to withdraw all blame from the pig mongers and also withdraw all projection of victimhood from the piggies.

The piggies are not victims. The farmers are not victimizers. The greasy sausage folk are innocent. They don't even really exist. They're not really out there. It's a dream. I'm dreaming it. So....

That means I made up this whole scenario. I made pigs. I made sausages. I made bacon factories. So secretly this reminds me that I actually made up this whole thing myself which would mean I am guilty. So the guilt I see in them is my own guilt. Hmm.

Hmm. Ok. I am flashed a memory of a time in childhood when I used to hunt butterflies, ... and kill them. I used to swat them with a tennis racket, or capture them and keep them a while but then they died because I didn't feed them etc. Or even perhaps would stick a pin in them. Vicious! ooo.. juicy pool of guilt there. I didn't know what I was doing, so it's forgivable.

So even though I made that mistake and I secretly covet bacon and sausages and want to stick a pin in the pigs, its only because I have lost touch with the truth of who I am. I forgot I am love. I forgot I am holy and innocent and have no needs. I forgot God loves me. So.. .I'm just mistaken about being guilty. Even if I did nasty things to innocent creatures, I'm still innocent because I am not in my right mind. So I'm making mistakes and not realizing it. I'm not to blame. The butterflies forgive me. I forgive me. I am forgiven not for what I have done but because... I have not really done it.

This is a dream, it hasn't happened. I'm with God. I am guiltless and sinless. I haven't done anything to anyone. God is not harmed. Real immortal life has not been changed. I have not stopped being perfect love. I am absolutely forgivable and innocent and free. God loves me 100% because he knows that pigs and butterflies are just parts of a dream that has no meaning and I gave it all the meaning it had. I used the pigs and pig farmers as skapegoats to project my own guilt so that I would have a reason to justify being guilty, which would help me to stay away from God. I wanted to be away from God so I could keep my ego and not be loved.

So... do I want to keep suffering? Am I willing to let this go? Can I let go and surrender this need to prove I am guilty? Yes.. I willingly surrender this guilt and recognize I am forgiven, I claim and own up to being innocent because none of this really happened. God loves me. Nothing has gone wrong. Nothing has died. Death isn't real. Everyone is equally innocent and holy. Only love is real.

Holy Spirit, please heal my mind and correct my thinking and remove all of this guilt and help me to remember my true innocent and that of all concerned. I let it go. I accept your truth.

Amen.

When I write or read ACIM stuff, after a while I'll start to feel upset. I may feel overwhelmed, or agitated, even hurt, and might feel like I want to cry. It's almost like someone just said a whole string of lies about me.

I look at what part of me feels this way and I acknowledge what it is likely feeling. It feels offended by everything the truth says. It feels threatened by it. It does not want anything to do with the stupid-ass course and does not want to wake up at all. It wants it all to go away. It wants the truth to shut the hell up. It sees it as constantly attacking it, and it won't leave it alone. It feels victimized and threatened and hurt. It is offended by everything the truth said, as if it were all a personal insult and attack. It is frightened about the notion of the truth being true, and hates the Holy Spirit.

This "part of me" does not want anything to do with ACIM, or any spiritual path, or any kind of waking up, or anything to do with God. It just wants to be the way it is. It is reluctant to have anything to do with God or making truthful statements or reading what is true and or studying. It just reacts to it all from an ego perspective.

This is something maybe not spoken about by many people but it happens with me all the time and I think it probably does with most people too.

This stuff happens because the ego's vantage point is actually totally opposite to the truth, opposite to God, opposite to reality. It interprets everything to do with God as false, wrong, bad, evil, vengeful, an attack, offensive, abusive, hurtful, to be avoided, etc. Every possible attribute of "evil" is assigned to God by the ego. Every possible way to want nothing to do with it is given him. This is simply because the ego believes that what is true is false, and what is false is true, and in this it is actually insane and confused.

Then, there is my mind, which is "doing this ego", or is identified with the concept of it. So part of MY mind or self is latched onto this perspective, caught up in it, identified with it as if it is true of my own self, as if it IS me. So part of my mind is turning my back on God and is peering back at God through highly negating opposing ego glasses, and everything it sees is backwards and upside down and inside out. But it doesn't realize this. And so as I look "through" the ego, everything true is false, and everything real is an illusion, and God is death and death is life.

We have this stuff going on in us so long as we are identified with the ego/body. A bodily identification, an ego-thought-system identification, a sense of limitedness or exclusion or specialness. That collections of vantage points seems to form "the ego self" or false self, an "area" of our mind that is temporarily flipped inside out. And so long as we're still bound to it in that way, exposure to the light will be experienced as attack by darkness. And moving closer to truth is experienced as reality falling apart. And trying to open up to love and sharing and union is interpreted as a threat to my very life.

It's tough to go through this because on the one hand the majority of me is wanting to awaken and be loving and spiritual while this ego portion wants the exact opposite. And so doing the course, reading the words, doing the lessons, writing about the topics, whatever related to it, sooner or later pushes these buttons and out comes the tears and the tantrums and the emotional breakdowns and the resistance and the procrastination and all the rest of the dysfunction.

We perhaps have to be gentle with ourselves, with the part of our self that is still confused, still bound and identified with a way of perceiving that is backwards. And some times that part of ourselves needs a break, it needs a rest from course shit, it needs to stop reading and writing and thinking about it 24/7, and it needs to just live and do some basic earthly ego things for a while, to cool off, to feel less threatened and pressured. Because that self, typically filled with childhood traumas and twisted early beliefs, is completely confused about God and truth and everything real.

It wants nothing to do with it. And actually it can become seemingly "happier" when you ease up on threatening it. Gotta throw it some bones sometimes. Relax, take a study break, go shopping, eat some fun food, whatever. Be "normal" for a while. This can actually bring you a feeling of peace, at the ego level, temporarily. Then when you are rested and ready to press forward, go exposure yourself to what the ego interprets as "its demise" all over again.

"NO evidence will convince you of the truth of what you do NOT want."

""Give up what you do not want, and keep what you do." How simple is the obvious! "

"When you think you are projecting what you do NOT want, it is still because you DO want it. "

"You must have noticed that the emphasis has been on bringing what is undesirable TO the desirable, what you do NOT want to what you DO. "

We talk a lot about forgiveness and undoing grievances and not projecting guilt etc, but a HUGE elephant in the room is how everyone believes they are their body!

We are quite literally NOT a physical body. We are spirit beings, made of God-stuff. The body is NOT a part of our self.

"The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over."

"The body is OUTSIDE you, and SEEMS to surround you, shutting you off from others, and keeping you APART from them, and them from you."

But take a look at the world, look at how everyone is always focused on bodies, regards bodies as people, refers to bodies by name, and how we all seem to be very IDENTIFIED WITH the body.

Even from birth and through childhood, we're told that we are a boy or a girl, or a human being, and that our body is our self. It's drummed into us by a society that HEAVILY believes that we are bodies.

This isn't made any easier by the fact that the body ITSELF makes the world seem very real, and thus makes ITSELF seem very real. It reports on itself using its OWN senses, and reports that the body it senses as existing really exist. Pain and sensations confirm it.

Everyone's looking in mirrors at "how they look". Everyone's talking about what other "people" look like. Everyone's talking about what their body did today. Everyone's taking their body appearance personally, either to their benefit or detriment.

We have a BIG PROBLEM of believing that we are flesh and bones objects walking around on a fake planet.

We are not even 1% body. We are 0% body. Purely spirit. Purely life. Purely made of God-stuff. And yet the world is at like a 99% belief that bodies are true, bodies are life, bodies are our reality.

It is this identification WITH and AS the body that produces EGO, and is a problem of identification. That we literally start experiencing the body as if it is US, and anything it experiences is happening to our SELF. This is mental illness and it is widespread and extremely common.

In fact it is so common that it's taken to be absolutely normal, absolutely natural, the stuff families are made of, the stuff countries are made of. Human since birth, born to be flesh and bones, born to have a brain and a heart, born to bleed and die.

"I am not a body, I am free, for I am still as God created me."

"Temptation has ONE lesson it would teach, in ALL its forms, WHEREVER it occurs. It would persuade the holy Son of God he is a body, born in what must die, unable to escape its frailty, and bound by what it orders him to feel. It sets the limits on what he can do; its power is the only strength he has; his grasp cannot exceed its tiny reach. Would you BE this, if Christ appeared to you in all His glory, asking you but this, "Choose once again if you would take your place among the Saviors of the world, or would remain in hell, and hold your brothers there." For He HAS come, and He IS asking this."

"In Heaven God's Son is NOT imprisoned in a body, nor is sacrificed in solitude to sin."

"To be without a body is to be in our natural state. To recognize the light of truth in us is to recognize ourselves as we are. To see our Self as separate from the body is to end the attack on God's plan for salvation, and to accept it instead. And wherever it is accepted it is accomplished already."

"The ultimate purpose of the body is to render itself unnecessary."

"The "self" that needs protection is not real. The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?"

"All these things are your replacements for the Love of God. All these things are cherished to ensure a body identification. They are songs of praise to the ego. Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you."

"If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick." "The IDEA of separation PRODUCED the body, and remains connected TO it, MAKING it sick because of its identification WITH it."

"The body is the ego's home by its own election. It is the only identification with which it feels safe, because the body's vulnerability is its own best argument that you CANNOT be of God."

Please forgive me if this message isn't well formed because I think I am going to express something that is sort of 'new' to me and I am not well into it yet.

Love has been coming to me... the possibility of love... the possibility of being loving toward other people in general. Its a change in my attitude about others. Part of this seems to involve realizing that I've been doing all this healing and forgiveness work on 'myself' with... lets be honest... a somewhat selfish intention. I mean, even though it's a spiritual path and all that, it's always been about me healing myself, me forgiving for my own benefit, me applying the Course to get myself to feel better, etc. And now... this 'me' part doesn't seem as much the focus, or as important. And instead, I'm starting to let real LOVE come through me, and its starting to become about - sharing that love.

I'll also be honest in telling you that I generally have not really felt loving towards most people for a long time. Whether its a remnant of childhood suffering or a personality thing or whatever I've accepted, or maybe I've just been pretty normal/typical all this time and nobody could really expect more. ... but I'm finding now, there IS more. There is the possibility of not just being another one of many strangers that pass each other and barely acknowledge each other, but rather of actually LOVING PEOPLE.

Now, this is where it gets really fascinating for me at the moment. I've been finding that.. experimenting with. .. the idea that, if I attempt to be loving toward people instead of how I normally would be around them, it is significantly changing my perception. And I'm not talking about some lofty aim like 'see the christ in everyone' and I'm like 'what the fuck is christ?'... it's simply.. .just fricking love them.

Normally around most people, especially strangers, I will become guarded and shy and quiet really quickly. Its a defense mechanism thing, usually triggered by the slightest observation that there is something about the person that is unsafe/unloving. What I did not know, however, all this time, is that the unsafely and unloivingness that I see in people - the triggers - is actually the result of ME not looking at them WITH love. I've always been looking at people with... well, the ego... and seeing the ego reflected back. And now this idea is popping in, why not try instead to extend love and be loving toward them, and see how that feels

Well... when I decide to do this, which is usually after I notice that I just lapsed into zombie mode, something really unexpected happens. I don't feel afraid. It's like, all of the basis for my 'social anxiety' is because I perceive without love and therefore see a lack of love and I see it as an attack. So... if I CHOOSE to see WITH love, then I actually see ONLY love, and I don't even see any reason not to love. It's like, all of the 'reasons' for fear are just not even there. I can't detect them, they don't appear, they don't register. Somehow the love makes me feel safe and prevents me from even perceiving that I can be attacked. If I'm looking WITH love, then it shows me love. If I look with attack, I see attack. And I didn't realize how used I've become to seeing 'with attack' all of the time, such that I thought it was normal, and that people out there 'really are' threatening... when in fact, there is another way to experience it.

I always struggled with this. You have no idea. I mean, really high levels of anxiety around strangers, fear of judgement, unsafely, becoming 'spacey' and losing all focus, becoming avoidant, wanting to get the hell out of there, etc. It has taken a LOOOOOONG time to gradually sift through this all to realize that it is ME and MY attitude which SHOWS ME exactly what is IN ME, and I then think it is in the other people, and then I think that this proves WHY I should feel the way I feel. It JUSTIFIES it. Sure, I should be afraid because that person is judging me, or I should be anxious because that person is threatening me, etc... when instead, it was always that I'd projected MY self-attack onto them and was seeing it there.

And now, along comes love. And I mean... not special love of romantic love or whatever... like, real LOVE... love from GOD. Unconditional love. Spiritual love. And if I allow myself to stand in love and to choose to see other people WITH that love, what do I experience? Well... I feel completely safe. The anxiety has no foundation. And even if I'm feeling afraid or anxious, if I choose love, it instantly disappears. And even if people still are behaving in odd ways or looking at me funny or appearing to be rejective or whatever, if I am in a loving place, then I feel completely invulnerable to that, like, I know it can't do anything to me.

The big lesson here is this... and I'm still exploring this and only just STARTING to experiment with this in real situations.... the big lesson is that... when you extend God's love fully to your brother, and just choose to love them instead of any other attitude, ALL you will see is love and lovability and there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO BE AFRAID. So... this is the TRUTH! In truth, there is no reason for fear because in truth, in love, there is perfect safety. There simple IS no attack. There IS no cause for alarm. There IS no threat.

So this is my 'opening up'... the next phase... realizing that the theology and the thoughts and the figuring out and the Course processes etc are... themselves... just tools to open up the heart to love, and that it is THE LOVE that is actually what we need to BE and express. To love it. To be it. To extend it. To share it. Experientially. Actively. For real. Taking the love to the people. Taking the love and letting it love through me. Letting healing come through me. Letting life come through me. But not for some silly selfish 'oh this is my special spiritual path, don't mind me I'm just over here forgiving myself dutifully and staying separate from everyone'.

Love erases all fear. And of course.. the opposite of love is fear... without love, fear HAS to show up. Once love shows up, love is the LIGHT, and fear HAS to disappear. And it does. It does every time!

Reason to celebrate. Only love is real! And the truth isn't just facts and information and thinking... the truth is FELT.

And what's really surprising to me about God's love is... that... it is being freely offered to me right now without me having to really do anything to earn it... almost as though, I'm jumping right from being in the middle of a long drawn out spiritual path, to the end goal. Like. God loves me NOW... I can be loved NOW... It's very surprising. And it's got nothing to do with thinking about love. It's ACTUAL love. God is love. Not just an idea. Love love love love love love love.

"How simple is salvation! All it says is what was never true is not true now, and never will be. The impossible has NOT occurred, and CAN have no effects. And that is all."

I've found personally that I cannot fully let something go so long as I believe it has any reality at all. If I believe it happened, then I believe it had some reality. That it was an event, in which "something" occurred. This somethingness is precisely what holds it in place in my mind and gives it a seeming existence.

You cannot forgive something when you are making it real. If the world is in fact just a dream, which it is, but if you believe it is not just a dream, you will hold onto it psychologically. This is attachment. It means you believe in it being more than just imaginary, as though it is a reality. It means you have accepted it into your mind as having truth.

The ONLY way to accept atonement, which cures all such sickness, is to fully recognize that what you thought happened did not happen. This isn't merely a matter of saying, someone did something but you're willing to let it go. Nor is it a matter of saying, the events transpired but you're willing to look at it with love. You have to actually get to the point where you recognize IT DID NOT HAPPEN.

The reason that it did not happen, or the recognition of this, requires a change in the PREMISE of the world. If the premise is that separation occurred, producing a dream world, which has some reality, then you CANNOT forgive anything. Once the premise shifts to "there has never been a separation", in which a world opposite to reality does not exist at all, and all events are nothing, only then is your mind in a position to truly let it go.

So long as you believe that anything even occurred at all, that the happenings were NOT a dream, that there were some REAL consequences, and something was AFFECTED, you will not let it go. You won't be able to. It is your belief in it having a power and a causation and a proof of sin, that anchors you to it and fuels it, keeping it going. You cannot fully turn your back on it until you can recognize it as NOTHING. Illusions must be recognized as NOTHING in order to disappear.

Similarly you cannot forgive the world fully until you can recognize that it is absolutely nothing. There cannot be a single bit of belief in it left. It can hold nothing that you want. You have to withdraw all value from it. You have to not accuse it of anything. You have to not believe that it has ever done anything to you or anyone. That it has had no real effect, no consequences, all of its changes are completely substanceless, all of the events are nowhere, and nothing ever happened but a dream.

"When the mind elects to be what it is not, and to assume an alien power which it does not have, a foreign state it cannot enter, or a false condition not within its Source, it merely seems to go to sleep a while. It dreams of time; an interval in which what seems to happen never has occurred, the changes wrought are substanceless, and all events are nowhere. When the mind awakes, it but continues as it always was."

This seems like a major stretch for most of us to accept. Jesus isn't merely saying that the past happened that you should forgive what happened. He's saying this ENTIRE world, all of human history, the whole history of spacetime, all events, all happenings, all changes, are ALL ENTIRELY FALSE.

All fiction. All hallucinations. All made-up and meaningless. With no real causation and no real effect on anything real. With no threat against reality and having absolutely no real substance. That this is all literally NOTHING, and will completely vanish and be forgotten when you fully awaken to God.

That means that to truly forgive and let something go, you HAVE to recognize that it is absolutely nothing. This is only possible by recognizing this entire realm of experience is UNREAL, ie a dream. And being unreal, none of what appears to happen means anything or causes anything, or has any effect on anything or anyone.

Forgiveness of the world is the recognition that THERE IS NO WORLD. Only an illusory world, recognized as truly NOTHING, can BE forgiven. It can be forgiven BECAUSE it is not there. It can be let go BECAUSE there is nothing really there to hold onto. It can be accepted as having never happened BECAUSE it has not really happened at all.

This is merely coming to an acceptance that what you thought you lost was never something to have to begin with, and that you never really had it to lose. It is an acceptance that anything anyone seemed to do to you or anyone, was never done to you or anyone, and nothing real has ever been threatened. It's a willingness to stop using scapegoats and characters and events and groups and so on as reasons to dramatize your engagement with a fictional world, trying to hold on to suffering and victimhood in order to avoid God.

Given that forgiveness truly means to recognize that what you think your brother did DID NOT HAPPEN AT ALL, you have to literally come to recognize that even the events did not really transpire, the things said were not really said, the actions taken were not real actions, the consequences were nothing whatsoever against anything real, and even your memories of it happening are false. Memory of the past is just another body sense mechanism which pretends to make the world seem real.

I forgive [xyz] person/place/happening/event simply because it literally was nothing, did not happen, has not happened in heaven's reality, has affected nothing, has caused nothing, has no power over anything, did nothing, was not a real sin, did not produce real loss, had no effect on me or anyone, and was never really even there. Only God's Kingdom really exists, and only creation is a real event. "Only the creations of light are real."

"Today I will recognize that all this has not occurred."

"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in this view are all your sins forgiven."

"If you remain as God created you appearances cannot replace the truth, health cannot turn to sickness, nor can death be substitute for life, or fear for love. All this has not occurred, if you remain as God created you."

"To condemn is thus impossible in truth. What seems to be its influence and its effects have not occurred at all."

"Just as forgiveness overlooks all sins that never were accomplished, healing but removes illusions that have not occurred. Just as the real world will arise to take the place of what has never been at all, healing offers restitution for imagined states and false ideas which dreams embroider into pictures of the truth."

"Instead, it merely asks that you respond appropriately to what is NOT real, by not perceiving what has not occurred."

"Both this world and the real world are illusions because right-mindedness merely overlooks, or forgives, what never happened."

"The instant the idea of separation entered the mind of God's Son, in that same instant was God's Answer given. In time this happened very long ago. In reality it never happened at all."

"Everything God wills is not only possible, but has already happened. And that is WHY the past has gone. It NEVER HAPPENED in reality. Only in your minds, WHICH THOUGHT IT DID, is its undoing needful."

"The childhood of your body and its place of shelter are a memory now so distorted that you merely hold a picture of a past that never happened."

"But the Holy Spirit tells you that even RETURN is unnecessary, because what never happened CANNOT involve ANY problem."

"Nor to its results, as this world sees them; sickness and death and misery and pain. These things have not occurred, because the Holy Spirit sees them not, and gives no power to their seeming source."

Cause and effect means that causes produce effects. Cause is a power and effects result from it. This is only has any meaning in terms of a dreamworld because outside the dream there is no dream and no dreamer.

Either you are identified with cause, or you are identified with effect. This means either you are dreaming the dreamworld, or the dreamworld is dreaming you. When the dreamworld is dreaming you, what this really means is the dreamer of the dream is dreaming of a world in which he himself becomes identified as part of the dream, so that it seems he is dreamed by the dream - ie dreamed by himself. This is the ego's entire concept of creation.

You come into the world through what appears to be the dream giving birth to you, originating in the parent's bodies and taking the form of a baby. If this is true, then the dream has dreamed you and you are its effect. If this is true, you were created by the ego/dream and not by God. But the truth is that you are not a body or a form of a part of a dream and God DID create you, but the dream will never testify to that. As God's creation, YOU are the cause of the dreamworld and you are the one who invented ALL bodies and all body-based relationships.

Cause and effect become reversed the moment that you identify with the dream and believe that you are a part of it, made from it, or created by it. The responsibility for causal power which was inside you, capable of dreaming, is now projected outside of you AS the dream, and the dream now seems to be the causal power. The dream IS your own causal power displaced away from you and disowned.

If the dream is causal, then it is indeed true that it would seem the dream has the power to both create you (birth) and destroy you (death) at its own whim, and in complete violation of any supposed rights or power you might have. When the dreamworld is causal, YOU become its effect. As an effect, you are powerless and are a VICTIM. Whatever the dreamworld wants to throw at you, whatever it wants to do to you, however it wants to REDEFINE who and what you are, you can do nothing to stop it.

When you are the effect of the world you see, therefore, you become 'affected by' the world. It does stuff to you. It seems to change you. It seems to be capable of eliciting a REACTION in you. This is what it means to be an effect. External causes decide who and what you are, you do not. You are then a passive victim and if the world decides to CHANGE YOU in any way, to redefine your identity, to treat you a certain way as if to say that this is how you should be treated because of what you are, you can do nothing to stop it. If you believe the dream is causal, then this is what will happen to you.

In childhood, then, when you have entered the dream through a 'doorway' of birth, after which you believe that the dream has created you, you have a mind which perceives this way. As a baby you are a passive victim. You receive. You soak everything in. You have no identity of your own but you start to develop one. You develop an identity based on what the DREAM tells you you are. This can come through the form of any person or experience that occurs, mainly through parents role-modeling or examples given by others. You "learn" an identity based on what the dream/ego tells you you are.

It goes further. Because now, anything that happens to you BY the dream, redefines not only the meaning of who you are (as anything other than powerful, unconditionally lovable, truth, God-Created, immortal etc). Since the dream is itself void of any truth it can only redefine you FALSELY, and however it treats you is like a statement telling you what is true of you. So if someone abuses you, that person represents a signal from the causal dream, as if it is an expression of TRUTH, telling you what you are.

If you are abused, and if the abuse is truth, then you MUST be something abuseable, you MUST have asked for it, there MUST be something wrong with you, and you simply ACCEPT and ALLOW this display of lies to enter your mind. It reconfigures your sense of who you ARE, which modifies your IDENTITY. And especially as a young person you have no memory of your true self and nobody is modeling unconditional love for you all the time, so you basically lose sight of the truth about you. You form a sense of self which is artificial, dictated by the world, and you actually believe it is true - it is what you are. You have been turned into an abused victim by the dream, not by the events that seemed to make this happen or by the people who were involved, but by the sheer fact that you believed and perceived the dream was your creator, it had power to define you, and that you are at its effect.

This can of course go on for years before you start to get a sense of discord within yourself, which may lead you to healing paths or exploring who you really are or trying to find out why these things happened. But ultimately, it all boils down to the reversal of cause and effect. All the ways the "dream dreams you", dictates your identity and defines what you are. If you allow that, accept it, believe it, or go along with it in any way, having abandoned your TRUE SELF, you become a powerless victim. Unconscious. The dream would kill you if you let it.

Correction is needed. Healing is called for. A reawakening to the TRUTH about you is absolutely required. You need to reverse cause and effect back to its proper orientation, which means learning that YOU are the cause and the dream is YOUR effect. You have command over it, dominion over it, power over it, and it extends solely from you. It never happens TO you, you are never victimized BY it, it is never responsible for turning you into an effect against your will, and essentially, it is nothing. Effects are nothing. They have no power, they do not make anything happen, they aren't real.

Recognize then that EVERY SINGLE TIME that you RE-ACT to the dreamworld, it must be that you believe the dream is dreaming you. You have become the effect of it, and the cause has been displaced outside of you. You are reacting TO it because of what it is doing TO you. You've disowned your power. You've got things back to front. You've forgotten that YOU are the cause, and have turned into a victim. You cannot be victimized when you take back your power and learn that you are the cause of the dream. You are the dreamer, not the other way around!

All reactions are reactions to the belief that cause is outside of you. All reactions are the responses that the `powerful dream` with an `alien will` has determined you are supposed to have. Its as if the dream is broadcasting a signal "this is what you are" and you are receiving it, and your experience of victimhood or upset is how it feels to receive that signal and to experience its power OVER you, changing you against your will. All reactions are the redefinition that the dream is trying to impose onto you, to change who you are and to affect you. All reactions are responses and retaliations that map to the stimuli that is being thrown at you.

Seemingly serious and important external causes seem to call forth seemingly larger reactions in you. This is the hierarchy of illusions. Big causes call for big effect. If you are constantly re-acting to the dreamworld, it is because you firmly believe that CAUSE is outside of you and that YOU are at its effect. Everything about the dream testifies to this. Every single thing that 'happens' is an attempt to affect you and redefine your identity as the ego. The ego is the dream fabric and the ego-dream wants you to be described AS a dream. It sees you only as a victim and as your own victimizer.

Because projection makes perception, and because perception could be likened to 'receiving' the dream into your senses (symbolically), it is perception which seems to trigger ALL reactions. You perceive something external has caused something, and now it has produced effects in you. These artificial effects attempt to mangle and distort you and throw you into chaos, with upset emotions and crazed thinking. All reactions are reactions to perceptions. What came before perception?

Before perception there is projection. And this is why you have to take responsibility for what you are projecting, in order to free yourself from your OWN reactions to your OWN STUFF. It is YOUR OWN CAUSALITY out there staring you back in the face and scaring the shit out of you, to which you then react as if it is NOT yours and is some other horror show made to upset you. YOU gave it its power, YOU gave it its causality, by disowning your own. It's YOU that is attacking you. It is YOU that has been projected AS the very dream that now attempts to dream you. You must move past the reactions by realizing you are reacting to your own projected power, AND TAKE BACK THAT POWER, so that you can admit that the cause is IN YOU. YOU are the dreamer of the dream. Get it straight! It takes orders from you. You're the boss.

What is life like when you are 100% the cause? When you are 100% cause there are no effects, no dream, no illusion, no suffering, no death. Immortality is a state of perfect causality, the 'effect' of which is the same thing as the cause, with no separation between them. You are not a victim of the world you see. Take another look at this with Holy Spirit and admit the truth. The truth shall set you free. You dreamed up all this shit, remember?

"Father, I come to You through Him Who is Your Son and my true Self as well. Amen."

"To be alive and not to know yourself is to believe that you are really dead. For what is life except to be yourself, and what but you can be alive instead?"

"The sudden EXPANSION of the self that takes place with your DESIRE for it, is the irresistible appeal the holy instant holds. It calls to you to be yourself, within its safe embrace."

It's really just a matter of, are you really being your true self, or are you pretending to be something you're not?

If you're pretending, you're people-pleasing. That means you're putting on a persona. The persona is a fake mask, sometimes the "face of innocence", which tries to show people what you want them to see, or what you think will manipulate them into giving you the love and attention and validation that you yearn for as a result of hating your real self.

But even though the pleasing of others might please them, and maybe elicit some of the positive responses that you think you need, it's not really you that gets validated. It's the fake mask of a self that you put over the top of you. People like your little fake self but you only hold it up because you think people will hate and judge and reject the real you.

The truth though is that you yourself are hating and judging and rejecting the real you, by putting on this false image of yourself. While you try to be what you think other people want, and what will make them want you, you simultaneously hide and bury who you actually are.

It also prevents anyone from really loving you for who you are. Which means that even if you can get people to adore your fake presentation, it's still not you that they adore. And you constantly have to bend over backwards, walk on eggshells, hide yourself, stuff your feelings and avoid being seen, just to get some scraps of external love.

Another aspect to this is that by being unwilling to look within and to let people know that you have "defiled yourself", you also become unable to recognize the limitations of others. This produces false grandiose expectations that other people will be perfect toward you, because your persona is only willing to acknowledge what appears to be "good and acceptable". By only wanting to admit to that in yourself, in denial of the darkness, you become unable to see the darkness of others.

This then leads to an inability to acknowledge that other people are unloving, will never love you due to their chosen limits, that they can't give you what you want, cannot appease or validate you, and that they don't really want you because of their own egos. This harsh seeming truth lies hidden behind attempts to only find appealing "surface" signals that look as if nothing is wrong. It's an illusion of peace and acceptable and love that blinds you and covers over the deeper truth that things are not okay in you OR in them, and that therefore they can't save you from your self attack.

Often this all starts in childhood, seemingly, when the parents are not totally unconditionally loving, coupled with the physically-induced belief that you as a baby depend on the whole world to look after you. It sets up a dependency and an expectation that you will get everything from your parents or from the world. And if the world is not forthcoming with total love and validation, you'll feel empty and lost and alone, which will then compel you to overcompensate by busting a gut to try to get some response out of it/them, but it's like sucking blood from a stone. The broken saviours can't rescue you from your self destruction.

The less you can get the love from the world the more desperate you become, trying to suck up to it, putting yourself beneath it as though you are worthless, acting like a slave, hating yourself, castrating yourself and whipping yourself, trying to diminish who you are in order to only be what you think other people want you to be. And all this is a form of bargaining, trying to create a deal in which if you will let other people use you for their own selfish needs and wants, then you might at least get a little bit of something in return. So then you become a willing doormat with low self-esteem. Punish me please, thank you.

When you are not willing to confess to being broken, exposing the darkness and allowing others to see that you are not perfect, it makes it impossible for you to recognize that other people are imperfect also. Imagining that your ego is perfect and the your persona is without flaw, you other people as artificially flawless, which ignores their limitations and sets up huge expectations for them to serve you. And then they can't, and then there's anger and disappointment.

Only when you become willing to look at the dark stuff and let the light shine on it, will that same light illuminate the darkness of others, revealing their calls for love and their limitations. And this will bring an end to the external dependency, desperation for love, and the unwillingness to be your real self. And yet, paradoxically, by confessing to your "secret sins and hidden hates", which are not true of you anyway, it shines a light on them and dispels them. This reveals the real you, which has no faults or problems or weaknesses to be solved or defended against.

All of these disguises and facades and dishonesties and ways of not being yourself have to be undone. It means being willing to be exposed. And that means being willing to let people see and be aware of the various ways that you think you're defective. Your flaws, your sicknesses, your limitations, your faults, your bad attitudes, your off-days, the fact that things are sucking right now and you don't want to keep hiding it. That also leads to a willingness to be seen to be broken in public, crying and emoting and being upset around people and letting them know that no, you're not doing okay today, you're having a shit time of it.

But this exposure begins to let the truth in, admits the truth, and sheds light on what's going on. And actually this means that you're starting to step out into the light and let God see you. It means you're stopping hiding, no longer willing to be a fake self, wanting to be true to yourself. And you'll find that in fact your real self is profoundly strong and powerful and capable of remaining centred and peaceful no matter what is happening outside, if you'll only stay true to it and not keep abandoning yourself.

The more you are willing to be seen and heard, faults and all, crappy days and all, depression and anxiety and sickness and terrible attitudes and all, the more you're letting the healing come in. It means you're dropping your defences and lowering your walls and learning to trust yourself. It takes some courage to stand up and be seen. To tell people that you're not doing well. To own up to anything that's going on with you instead of just putting on a smile and pretending life is all roses. But this ownership is exactly what you need to own your true self, your real life, and your whole mind. Your sanity and freedom depends on it.

To know yourself, to be yourself, to trust yourself, to love yourself, to let yourself exist and be seen, to find peace from not having to modify who you are constantly, having a single unconditional response of love to everything, and meeting your brothers on this firm footing of reality and truth is our ultimate goal. Because God exists in the light and if we want to go home to God we have to expose ourselves fully. And in that exposure we are completely protected and safe. It is only the darkness that haunts us. And light always dispels darkness.

"It is only in darkness and in ignorance that you perceive the frightening, and you shrink away from it to further darkness."

"The steady brilliance of this light remains, and leads you out of darkness, nor will you be able to forget the way again."

"Everyone here has entered darkness, yet no-one has entered it alone. Nor need he stay more than an instant. For he has come with Heaven's help within him, ready to lead him OUT of darkness into light at ANY time."

"Coming out of the dark. I finally see the light now. It's shining on me. I know that love can save me." - Gloria Estephan