This is the law of cause and effect. Where there is cause there must be effects. Where there are effects there must be a cause. There cannot be effects without an ONGOING cause. As soon as cause is taken away, effects must vanish. If something is continuing, so is the causing. When the flashlight switches off, there is no light. Wen the flashlight switches on, there is light. It is entirely fiction that causes are moments in time which trigger something and produce a chain of effects which are completely divorced from the original cause. There are no effects unless the original cause is STILL THERE.
Everything is deliberate. Everything is chosen. This is because you always have free will. This can never be violated. If anything is to occur, you must consent to it. Anything you do not choose simply does not happen. Your mind causes all events and effects. Nothing in the world can change you or affect you or decide for you. The body has no ability to choose anything. It is entirely an effect of your mind.
"Your mind makes this decision as it makes EVERY decision responsible for the condition of the body."
"No-one dies without their own consent."
""My Self is ruler of the universe." ... "It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."
If you are unhappy, you chose to be. If you are sick, you chose to be. If you are dead, you chose to be. If you are healing, you chose to be. If you resurrect, you chose to be. If you are not at peace, you chose to be.
"I must have made a wrong decision because I am not at peace. I made the decision myself."
"Heaven is a choice I must make."
"No one comes to the atonement except willingly."
Just as you choose and cause everything that happens, so too you can choose the opposite.
"And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo." ... Bring, then, all forms of suffering to Him Who knows that every one is like the rest. He sees NO differences where none exist, and He will teach you how each one is CAUSED. None has a DIFFERENT cause from all the rest, and ALL of them are easily undone by but a SINGLE lesson truly learned."
"There are no accidents in salvation."
"It is you who has the power to dominate everything you see, merely by recognizing who you are."
The world does not turn without a mind making it turn. Plants do not grow without someone willing it. Bodies do not become sick without a mind using them for attack. Death does not occur without a deliberate intention of suicide. Suffering cannot happen unless you attack yourself.
Literally nothing anywhere eon any level can EVER happen without someone choosing it. Recognize this, take back your power, stop destroying yourself and wake up to freedom.
So there you are, saying "I must've created this" "I chose this" "I wanted this".
But the 'this' you refer to are all illusions. e.g. I must've chosen to be victimized by my coworker, I must've wanted this sickness, I must've chosen to be part of a thunderstorm, etc...
So if you're claiming responsibility for illusions, this can be the same as the ego MAKING IT REAL. i.e. ... I REALLY have chosen to be a victim, I REALLY must've wanted this sickness, I REALLY am responsible for being punished by the boss, etc.
Jesus speaks of this in the Course and how, in the beginning, we can really take this 'owning responsibility' very hard, because the ego is involved. He speaks of how the identification with the ego is what makes this a problem. He also advises to MOVE ON QUICKLY from this realization to actual CORRECTION with Holy Spirit. You don't have to dwell on what you've claimed responsibility for.
But even as you start doing this, you'll feel quite guilty because you think that YOU - ego you - have done all kinds of shitty things which you now have to own.
So, are you REALLY responsible for all the shit that's happened in your life? Are you REALLY responsible for all the crap that you put into your 'script' before you came to Earth?
To a degree, yes... in illusions, yes... inside of these choices, yes. BUT.... let's remember. ... nothing has happened.
So... you are not really responsible for making bad choices, you're not really responsible for making mistakes, you're not really responsible for making yourself be victimized or arranging attackers.
What you're REALLY responsible for is being as God created you, being innocent, being Christ, being holy, being whole and healed, being the light of the world, being forgiving, and being loving. That's what you really are responsible for.
So yes, to be Christ, you need to OWN IT.... and it may seem that as a step toward that you have to own your MISTAKES. ... but you have to keep it in perspective... all mistakes are forgivable because they have NOT REALLY HAPPENED. So you can't really, fully, totally be responsible for what's going on in the illusion, beyond that you chose poorly and forgot who you are.
So don't be hard on yourself for choosing poorly, quickly move onto the atonement, the fact that you have not REALLY done what you think you're totally responsible for. Yes you chose it.. but did you really? Do you REALLY have the ability to choose something other than God? Not really. You have the illusion of choice, which isn't really choice, so you haven't really chosen anything other than God.
Your only responsibility is to be.
Jesus merely asks us to choose again. To keep choosing again until we make the correct choice.
"I must have made a wrong decision because I am not at peace. I made the decision myself but I can choose otherwise."
He tells us that whenever we are not at peace, ie suffering in any form, it is because we have chosen to do so, and this resulted from making a wrong decision. We chose to suffer, and this was a mistake. He now invites us to try again to choose heaven, heaven being a choice I must make.
"Trials are but lessons which you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain which what you chose before has brought to you. In every difficulty, all distress, and each perplexity you face, Christ calls to you, and gently says, "My brother, choose again.""
We are exercising our free will at all times, our ability to choose freely. Anything that we experience other than peace and joy and love is because we chose it. We can only attack ourselves and are the only one able to seem to hurt ourselves through a mistaken choice. And we have just as much power to choose otherwise.
"And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo.""
"Mind is the mechanism of decision."
At all times, we are simply deciding. We are simply choosing. Do I want to accept that I am as God created me still, and therefore accept the whole Atonement principle and return to awareness of my soul, or do I want to continue choosing to suffer in various ways. It is up to me.
"God does not coerce."
"Learn of His happiness, which is yours. But to accomplish this, all your dark lessons MUST be brought willingly to truth, and joyously laid down, by hands open to receive, not closed to take. Every dark lesson that you bring to Him Who teaches light, He will accept FROM you, BECAUSE YOU DO NOT WANT IT. And He will gladly EXCHANGE each one for the bright lesson He has learned FOR you."
Lessons are nothing other than choices. By choosing that you want something, you put yourself into a psychological position. You have taught yourself that something seems to be true which is not, through a mistaken choice. Now the lesson is that you must unlearn this mistaken choice and re-learn or remember what the truth really is.
All lessons have the same outcome of re-accessing God's truth, because the only universal curriculum (which is mandatory) is the same for everyone - learning the single simple truth of God and awakening to acceptance of it.
What seem to be trials are simply present conditions that have been chosen, or scenarios arranged, offering an opportunity to change your mind about what you want, to learn to forgive and overlook rather than to use these mistaken selections to hurt yourself.
Always it is simply a matter of, what do I want. Do I want the world more than I want God? What do I value? What do I accept as true? What am I willing to do and accept? Do I want heaven today or do I want hell? It's up to you, you have the freedom always to come and go as you wish. And God waits patiently for you to freely choose to return Home to Him.
If you are suffering, you chose to. If you are experiencing unlove, you chose not to love yourself. If you are sick, you wanted to be for a reason. If you are happy, you chose only happiness for yourself. If you feel attacked, you decided to feel attacked. If you are in pain, the pain is serving your wishes. Only if this is true is the secret of salvation true without exception, and only if this is true is there any kind of hope for escape from hell by your own choice.
"In every difficulty, all distress, and each perplexity you face, Christ calls to you, and gently says, "My brother, choose again.""
"Be never fearful of temptation, then, but see it as it is; another chance to choose again, and let Christ's strength prevail in every circumstance and every place you raised an image of yourself before. For what appears to hide the Face of Christ is powerless before His Majesty, and disappears before His holy sight."
"For you WILL hear, and you WILL choose again. And in this choice is everyone made free."
"The power of decision is my own. .... No-one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No-one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No-one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants. And no-one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is."
"My Self is ruler of the universe. ... It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept. For thus am I led past this world to my creations, children of my Will, in Heaven where my holy Self abides with them, and Him Who has created me."
I choose to be afraid.
I project the fear outward and identify targets that are causing the fear.
The existence of these targets 'explains why' I am afraid.
Explaining why I'm afraid justifies and proves why I am afraid, and gives it extra weight, making it real.
I then say, oh my, I'm afraid, I don't want those targets to attack me. But this is a two-faced ego lie.
I want to see them attacking me because it justifies keeping my fear. I want them to make me afraid. And until I stop identifying them as the cause or 'reason for' the fear, I will just stay afraid.
The truth is, there is a secret reason for the fear which has nothing to do with who or what it is projected onto. They are not the cause of it. They are not the ones who are creating it or making it happen.
I am secretly making it happen by trying to defend myself from God. My secret wish is to be separate from God and to deny that God exists. My secret wish is a suicidal death-wish in which I want death in place of Life. That's the whole reason why I'm in a body - to escape from God.
So every time I become afraid of 'something', that's not really what I'm afraid of or why I'm in fear. I'm in fear because I am conveniently using them as a scapegoat for why I NEED to be afraid. I want to NEED fear because I NEED fear to separate me from God and fulfill my hidden agenda.
The people or events or objects or body functions that are 'making me afraid' are very conveniently HELPING me to reject God. Thank you, fears, for helping me to stay separate and choose death, exactly as I wanted.
See, underneath the farce of projected fear, there is a death wish. And that death wish wouldn't be there if I did not WANT it. I wanted it because it was my CHOICE. I CHOSE that I wanted the opposite of God and did not want Life. It was a decision I made. So the only reason I am now afraid is because I want to be because it's helping to support my underlying death wish.
Can I be afraid if I get honest and own up to using fear to cover up MY deliberate attempt to be dead? Can I believe that other people are causing the fear if I get honest and own up to the fact that I want them to help me justify keeping the fear, so that I can shut out love and be autonomous?
I have to admit that fear is a choice, just as death is a choice. And it's ME that is doing it TO MYSELF. This is the key to salvation.
I can decide I do not like what I have chosen for myself and admit that I chose it - it was not created by anyone else or anything else - and nothing else is keeping it in place other than my secret wish for death. Do I like the results? Do I want it? Shall I keep it? Is it working out? Am I enjoying the results? Probably not.
Maybe it's time I admit that I chose mistakedly and it was a poor choice, and that I want something better. Maybe I'll admit that it is pointless to deny God because it doesn't make God go away, and being without Him is always going to be a less enjoyable experience. I can be stubborn about it or I can give up trying to be dead and ACCEPT LIFE instead.
We do have this choice. We make this life-or-death decision every single time we choose ego over God.
The good news then, is, since we were the ones choosing death and fear, we can choose again and choose not to be dead. Yes, death is a CHOICE. If I choose to accept LIFE then I will permit eternal life to lift me up and sustain me forever. There is nothing 'the ego' can do to prevent this because the ego is nothing more than my insane mistaken choice to try to reject God.
So what's it going to be today? Life or death? You choose.
I'll give you a hint. Death actually isn't death, it's just a dream of death, which is just denial. It doensn't actually do anything to the Real You. YOU can't die. So trying to do so is a waste of time.
Give up. Surrender. Choose God again and be happy.
"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace."
This means that if in ANY WAY I am not at peace, am sick, upset, unhappy, afraid, in pain, suffering or dying, it has come about ONLY because *I* made a wrong decision. This "consequence" is showing up ONLY because of the power of my own decision. I put it there. I made it happen to myself. There are no other causes. I am responsible for having attacked myself. I decided wrongly and it produced these effects. I must claim responsibility and ownership of this power to choose what I experience and stop blaming others.
"I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise."
This is further compounded in this second line - that *I* made the decision myself. Which means, the secret to salvation, I did this to myself. I am not unhappy because of something someone else did or something that happened to me against my will. I made a DECISION, on my own, which was a poor decision, which was a DELIBERATE decision, to choose ego and suffering, on purpose. I have to own that. I made myself suffer and unhappy. I chose it.
Then once I can see that I own that fully, I can now realize that, in spite of this, I can change my mind and "choose again". Acknowledging that I chose this in the first place puts me in touch with the power to choose. Owning the choice I MADE allows me to own my power of CHOOSING and therefore puts me back in touch with my power to choose a different experience. And whatever I choose, I will receive.
"I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace."
Notice in the early version it says I *WILL* to decide otherwise meaning I actually DO IT, whereas in the FIP version they changed it to "I want" which is somewhat removed from actively DOING it. And so now you are realizing, that you no longer want what YOU CHOSE, you no longer want the suffering YOU MADE HAPPEN, and so now you WILL - choose - actively -towards a more sane decision which will results in consequences of peace instead of conflict.
"I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM."
You now recognize clearly that you have not sinned, and merely have been mistaken. Mistakes can be corrected and they call for forgiveness, not punishment. Therefore you do not need to be guilty, which isn't helping anyone. Guilt is not love or a change of mind. I also don't have to worry about all the giant fuck of a mess that I made, myself, that I did to myself, even if that means having attacked myself and made myself sick or suffering or in pain or half dead.
Whatever the consequences of my wrong decision were, whatever the MANIFEST EFFECTS were, THEY can be undone. AND they can be undone BY the Holy Spirit through supernatural healing means. And the only thing remaining to ALLOW this to occur is my own willingness to LET HIM HELP ME. There is no consequence He cannot undo, including incurable diseases, and including death.
"I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me."
Again this says that I WILL, whereas I think in a later version it was changed to "I choose". We need to realize that WILLINGNESS is very important because it indicates full commitment and POWER. Your choice and your will are very powerful and your mind is powerful. This isn't merely an inert, neutral, powerless small decision. It is a choice to OPT for and CLAIM a different experience. If you change your mind, the whole world must change. You are ruler of the universe! Nothing happens that you do not choose and whatever you choose MUST HAPPEN.
Additionally, when you ALLOW Holy Spirit, you invite him into you, you let him help you, you ask for His healing and you RECEIVE the truth (atonement), He can AND WILL AND DOES come into you and can heal ALL OF THE CONSEQUENCES that you produced in your wrong decision. He can heal all pain and sickness and suffering. And you must be WILLING to let him, to trust him, to allow him, to give him permission, in order to have him take your INVITATION and come in to heal you and clean up the mess.
He is here to HELP YOU and you do not have to tolerate suffering of ANY kind, and you do not have to put up with consequences you caused, and you do not have to stay sick, and you do not have to do this all on your own. Allow yourself to RECEIVE THE LOVE that you now choose and WILL and accept as a sane decision. Love will heal you AND your body.
Whatever you're upset about, it's not about anyone else, NO MATTER how much it seems to be someone else's fault.
Where is the upset located? Is your upset inside someone else's body? No, it's inside your body.
All of your feelings are inside your own body. All of your thoughts are inside of yourself as well. All of your beliefs and judgements and opinions and viewpoints are all inside of you.
Ideas leave not their source.
The way you feel, these are your feelings. They're not someone else's feelings.
Part of your upset entails an energetic link between you and another person in which you experience your upset feelings as though they are 'connected to' the other person. Or in other words, your belief that your are upset "because of them" links your emotional reactions to the other person as though the two of you are joined together by it.
But if you can remember and own your own feelings - these feelings you're having are YOUR feelings, nobody else's. This is how YOU feel. You are the one having these feelings. These aren't anyone else's feelings. You are the one who is feeling upset. This is isn't outside your body and it's not in another person.
If you can get to that point and say that with any amount of conviction, you might be surprised that suddenly the seeming energetic 'link' or 'vulnerability' that you felt in relation to the other person, suddenly disappears. Much of the feeling that you had wrapped up in the perception of 'this is what they did to me', disappears also. You detach.
Your detachment allows you to come back to yourself. And then you can admit to yourself, and own for yourself, that how you are feeling, how you are reacting, what you are experiencing, is all YOURS. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with anyone else. There are NO CAUSES outside of you that have created this feeling or reaction or upset. That person didn't put it there. That person didn't make you feel this way.
YOU CHOSE to feel this way. These are your feelings, not theirs. These are your reactions, not theirs. These feelings are inside your own self and are a part of your own experience. That means they are under your 'control'. Or at the very least, under your ownership. They sure do not belong to anyone else. And if nobody else has created them in you, and you are detached from the other person knowing they did not cause these feelings, then you have to realize that you quite literally decided to have these feelings.
You chose to experience these feelings. You decided to have this reaction. You decided to create this energetic emotional response within yourself, when you thought you were stimulated by that other person. They didn't cause the reaction, they just acted as a neutral reflection. And in that reflection you saw something that brought up some feelings inside yourself that had NOTHING to do with the other person. They didn't make you feel this way, YOU decided to feel this way ABOUT what they appeared to do. So you chose your reaction and your experience and everything you feel.
You will find quite often that if you will claim ownership and responsibility for all of your own experience, in this way, is not only drops and disarms the ego perception of your experience being 'caused by' someone outside of you, it also correctly identifies that YOU are in a position of responsibility, meaning you are NOT A VICTIM, and therefore you are FREE of a sense of victimhood and all perceptions relating to it. This sets you free as well. And you will find if you do this - take back your power and reclaim ownership of responsibility for EVERYTHING you are experiencing - you will often find these feelings suddenly transmute all by themselves and just dissolve and deflate and disappear into nothing. And in their place, is often a tremendous laughter.
Being unlocked from seeing yourself as victimized or caused by others is the key here. If you take full responsibility for everything then nobody can have allegedly been responsible FOR something happening to you. And when you believe others are responsible for stuff happening to you, for or against you, you basically are being irresponsible for your own life and are CLAIMING that someone else is responsible FOR YOUR LIFE, for you.
Nobody else is responsible for your life. Nobody else is responsible for owning your true identity. Nobody else is responsible for the feelings, reactions, emotions and expressions that you are experiencing. Nobody. There is nobody to shovel your 'Self' off onto. Nobody to claim they are supposed to be living your life FOR you, or waking you up FOR you, or changing to what you prefer FOR you. This is YOUR life, not theirs, that you are living. YOU are meant to be fully and completely and squarely in the clear awareness and ownership of WHO YOU ARE, in full responsibility and identification with and operating out of your True Self.
You are invulnerable when you stop believing in victimhood.
When you chose to believe in being separate from God, you chose to make a thought system and world opposite to God.
That world did not have any choice of ITS OWN to determine its nature or functioning. You wanted it to be opposite to heaven, and so it is.
It therefore MUST function according to laws which appear opposite to God's laws, of an imperfect nature, and completely unilke heaven in EVERY way imaginable.
"For this world IS the opposite of Heaven, having been made to BE its opposite. And EVERYTHING here takes a direction EXACTLY opposite to what is true."
"The world was made as an attack on God. It symbolizes fear. And what is fear except love's absence? Thus the world was meant to be a place where God could enter not, and where His Son could be apart from Him."
We chose that the world would function UNLIKE heaven, and therefore its foundation of separation and exclusion and lack and limitation is deeply embedded into its entire nature. That is why it devours and destroys, that is why it is limitation and scarcity, that is why it is cruel and dangerous, that is why everything in it dies.
Even right down to the subatomic particles, the illusory laws of physics, space and time themselves, all DEPEND entirely on the separation idea - the idea of opposition to God.
The world therefore CANNOT FUNCTION ANY OTHER WAY.
Its whole nature, its materials, its objects, its gravity and forces, its distances and delays, are all part of how the system MUST FUNCTION in order to be opposite to God's system.
The system itself is not choosing this. It has no choice. It cannot opt to work well, to be perfect, to stop being destructive, to be whole, to give you love or eternal life, to last forever, or to stop having problems.
It was meant to BE a problem, it was meant to OPPOSE God, it was meant to LACK, it was meant to NOT WORK, it was meant to ATTACK, it was meant to DESTROY, it was meant to facilitate SUFFERING AND DEATH.
That's ALL it can do. That's all it has to offer. It cannot change its mind, it cannot function as heaven, it cannot adopt God's laws, it cannot suddenly be free from murder and death, it can't stop having sicknesses, it can't be perfect, it can't last, and it won't ever stop having problems.
It's important to look at this honestly and recognize it. When you DON'T look at this, you will be delusional and in denial. You will believe that the world CAN be like heaven, it can somehow be manipulated to function well, things can last, suffering can be ended physically, accidents can stop happening, and all problems can be permenently solved.
All of this wishful thinking runs COMPLETELY OPPOSITE to the nature and functioning of the world, and if you try to implement it you will be RESISTING (fearing) the world, and causing tension and friction and suffering. It means you're trying to turn the machinery of separation into something that seems to function like oneness, and it's NOT possible. Not at a physical level.
If you can be willing to look at this fact hard in the face, you can drop the pretense and false hopes and silly dreams of making it work, and can ACCEPT that it is not going to ever work. And then you can recognize it for what it is. And you can also then recognize it is MEANT TO DIE. And problems are not meant to be ever solved here.
Once you recognize that, you can actually look for salvation WHERE IT IS, which is in heaven with God. You can then see that the OPPOSITE of this world is the only place where things can work the way you're hoping they could. The only place where there is no suffering, no sickness, no problems, and no death.
And in recognizing that this world HAS NO CHOICE in how it functions, you can forgive it, because thus you can recognize it is not trying to be a problem on purpose. It has no choice in it. It is a machine we made to be problematic intentionally, and that's it's nature. If you can accept that is its ONLY possible nature, then you can stop trying to STOP IT from being the way it is. And then you can accept it and find some peace, and let it go.
Basically everyone is trying to turn this world into heaven SO THAT they do not have to go home to heaven with God. We're looking in the wrong place for salvation and for a solution to the separation. The world cannot be solved or saved in this way, it can only be forgiven for being the way it is. And in your forgiveness you can set your mind free, because you are NOT part of this system, nor do you function like it. You are not of this world.
Jesus says NOT to try to escape all problems here. The world is MEANT to be problematic all the time and it wilL NEVER stop. You don't escape the world by fixing those problems, but by transcending them. Problems are DECEPTIONS that something is wrong that you need to attend to. YOU DO NOT.
"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives. Seek not ESCAPE from problems here. The world was made that problems could not BE escaped."
Sometimes what "the secret of salvation" reveals is not pretty. It very simply means you do everything to yourself. On purpose. Deliberately.
That reveals some sometimes shocking and hard to accept truths.
Such as that, if I am not at peace *I* must have chosen not to be at peace. If I am sick, I must have made myself sick. If I am unhappy, I have deliberately chosen to be unhappy. If I am experiencing something that I don’t think I want to experience, it’s because I CHOSE TO and WANT TO.
These are hard to admit to when you’re in the thick of denial. You’d rather keep believing there is a reason outside your control that caused your suffering.
What Jesus is trying to get us to see, and this is very simple, is that as the dreamer of the dream, and as the ruler of the universe, we MUST be the one who makes everything happen. We PUT IT THERE. We decide what will and will not happen.
This calls for extremely responsibility. It is the total end of all victimhood. And it also means, total freedom. This is why it leads to salvation.
You can be free from ALL suffering, including all states of sickness and death, by simply CHOOSING not to create those states. You can reverse all situations and heal all problems. "The power of decision is my own."
"You cannot die unless you choose to do so." "No-one dies without their own consent." "You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself."
This is the ONE LESSON that the Holy Spirit teaches. When you have learned this one thing and live it fully, you are done.
There is no room in this for being a victim, OR being victimized against your will. It is YOUR DREAM, so if victimization happens, YOU MUST HAVE MADE IT HAPPEN.
Unless this is true, there is no way out of hell. Unless this is true, someone or something else has the power to end your peace and prevent your awakening. You do not want to ever undermine this truth, or you are giving away the only way to return to God.
Always remind yourself in any situation, I must be doing this myself. I must be choosing this. I must want this. No-one else is doing this to me. If I am not happy, I chose not to be. If I am hurt, I hurt myself. This applies NO MATTER THE FORM of the attack or who seems to be the attacker. Even if it doesn’t look like you did it, you did. And this of course is very radical.
"Heaven is a choice I must make."
*I* MUST have made a WRONG DECISION because I am not at peace.
*I* MADE THE DECISION MYSELF.
Nothing happens without your consent, not even death. You are either choosing life or death. All death is suicide.
Sometimes it seems like stuff happens that you did not ask for.
The only reason this seems possible is because you are not fully aware of every part of your mind, and some hidden parts of you are working against you.
You believe that your current awareness is a full awareness, that you are fully aware of your entire self. Wherever you sense the edges of your awareness to be, that is the boundary that you believe is the edge of your entire being. And that there is nothing else beyond it.
But your mind, unless you are spiritually awakened, has parts to it which you are unaware of. There are parts which are hidden behind walls of denial and fear. These parts are essentially unconscious to you, i.e. you are not aware of them in your conscious awareness and this makes it seem as though they do not exist. There is more to your mind than you realize.
If you were to ask most people if they have an unconscious mind, it would be a complete guess, because really you can't be aware of the unconscious until it is made conscious. So you have to take someone's word for it that you may even have unconscious parts to you. But unless you are aware of the presence of God, there must be some parts of your mind which are outside of your awareness.
Now, simply because some parts of your choosing mind may be outside of the scope of your conscious awareness, it is possible that those parts of your mind are active and are choosing to make things happen, but without your knowing it. These parts of your mind are filled with beliefs and thoughts and attitudes which do express and do create situations and events to reflect what it believes.
Particularly, the unconscious mind is usually a repository of darkness, self-attack, guilt, hatred, and all manner of insanity. And this tends to be so denied that it shows up in your experience as though it is outside of your body, and embedded into or laid on top of other people. You experience it out there as though it has nothing to do with you at all, and yet it is your own hidden self-hate.
So then, it seems to your conscious self as though stuff starts to happen to you that you did not consciously want or remember choosing. And to explain the origin of these things that happen to you, being unaware that you chose them yourself, it seems to make sense to now find some "other" source of these things. Like other people.
So the mere fact that you have a split mind which is partly conscious and partly unconscious, automatically puts you into a situation where you see yourself as being victimized. Choices are being made, a will is performing its desires, and someone somewhere is deciding things, but it doesn't seem to be yourself. So automatically, you will look outside of yourself for the cause.
This is the origin of all scapegoating, all blame, all perception of being a victim in any way, all anger towards others, all attempts to find other people guilty or wrong, and all belief that it MUST be someone else's fault, simply because you are not aware of what hidden parts of yourself are doing to yourself. You become hell-bent on finding someone else to be the cause of your condition, not realizing that YOU are the cause.
Given that you are not aware of the full scope of your whole mind, and given that the hidden parts of your mind are still believing that you are guilty, and given that those beliefs will lead to self-punishment, it is no wonder that once those punishments start to happen, you're going to be desperate to find out WHO did it to you. You'll think it's not you.
It can seem to be difficult to accept that you chose suffering or difficult situations or major problems or sicknesses or pain or fear. It can seem like there is just no way that you would've wanted this situation, and that there is no way that you - your conscious self, would choose this. But you're not aware of your whole self, so you don't really know that you chose it, or why.
Over time, with forgiveness, which is really just the insight that you've been doing EVERYTHING to yourself and NOTHING has happened to you that you did not choose - unconsciously or otherwise, you will become more aware of the content and attitudes hidden in your unconscious. The unconscious will be integrated back into awareness, you will uncover your secret sins and hidden self-hates, and through healing you will come to a fuller awareness of the whole of yourself.
It is in the light of that fullness of who you are, rather than being a little portion of yourself, that you can recognize that you cannot possibly have been victimized. You will be honest in admitting the truth, that you have been doing this to yourself, you did plan it all along, and there is nobody else to be held accountable.
If you can see and accept that you really DID do this all on your own, to yourself, without needing anyone else to explain why things happened, then automatically everyone else is innocent and you have hope of freedom. But this DOES require that you be AWARE, i.e. able to see, that you really ARE doing this to yourself. Then you will not even think to blame it on anyone else because you obviously are the cause.
Because now that you are in your full mind, you can choose again, and decide to stop hurting yourself. You can choose life. You can give up your death wish. You can let go of your self abusive attitude. You can stop hating yourself and stop condemning yourself. You can stop believing that you are sinful or guilty. And you can come to realize that God still loves you because you have not really done anything at all.
Awareness sets you free of the delusions and illusions of suffering, that you conclude are caused by anyone other than yourself. The belief in your fate being chosen entirely by "other than me" is a choice for death. And even then you are still doing it to yourself. You do not have to die.
Increasing your awareness through undoing of the blocks that keep the mind in the dark, will set you free and bring you back to life. This is the time of your resurrection. This is your return to who you really are, free of the illusion that you can suffer at the hands of another. It was never anyone else's fault.
The secret to salvation is that you are doing this to yourself, and have been all along. And yet you have done nothing real at all. In this view, both you and others are equally innocent, and all is forgiven and released.