Forgiveness is the end of specialness. Only illusions can BE forgiven, and then they disappear. Forgiveness is release from ALL illusions, and that is why it is impossible but PARTLY to forgive. No-one who clings to ONE illusion can see himself as sinless, for he holds one error to himself as lovely still. And so he calls it "unforgivable," and makes it sin. How can he then give HIS forgiveness wholly, when he would not receive it for himself? For it is sure he WOULD receive it wholly, the instant that he gave it so. And thus HIS secret guilt would disappear, forgiven by himself.
Whatever form of specialness you cherish, you have made sin. Inviolate it stands, strongly defended with all your puny might against the Will of God. And thus it stands against YOURSELF, YOUR enemy, NOT God's. So does it seem to split you off from God, and make you separate from Him as its defender. YOU would protect what God created not. And yet this idol that seems to GIVE you power has taken it away. For you have given your brother's birthright to it, leaving HIM alone and unforgiven, and yourself in sin beside him, both in misery, before the idol that can save you not.
It is not YOU that is so vulnerable and open to attack that just a word, a little whisper that you do not like, a circumstance that suits you not, or an event that you did not anticipate upsets your world, and hurls it into chaos. Truth is not frail. Illusions leave it perfectly unmoved and undisturbed. But specialness is NOT the truth in you. IT can be thrown off balance by ANYTHING. What rests on nothing NEVER can be stable. However large and over-blown it SEEMS to be, it still must rock and turn and whirl about with every breeze.
Without foundation nothing is secure. Would God have left His Son in such a state, where safety HAS no meaning? No, -- His Son is safe, resting on Him. It is your specialness that is attacked by everything that walks and breathes, or creeps or crawls, or even lives at all. Nothing is safe from its attack, and it is safe from nothing. It will forever more BE unforgiving, for that is what it IS. A secret vow that what God wants for you will never be, and that you will oppose His Will forever. Nor is it possible the two can ever be the same, while specialness stands like a flaming sword of death between them, and makes them enemies.
God asks for your forgiveness. He would have no separation, like an alien will, rise between what He wills for you, and what YOU will. THEY are the same, for neither one wills specialness. How could they will the death of love itself? Yet they are powerless to make attack upon illusions. They are NOT BODIES; as One Mind they wait for all illusions to be BROUGHT to them, and left behind. Salvation challenges not even death. And God Himself, Who knows that death is NOT your will, must say, "Thy will be done," because YOU think it is.
Forgive the great Creator of the universe, the Source of life, of love and holiness, the perfect Father of a perfect Son, for your illusions of your specialness. Here is the hell you chose to be your home. He chose not this for you. Ask not He enter this. The way is barred to love and to salvation. Yet if you would release your brother from the depths of hell, you have forgiven Him Whose Will it is you rest forever in the arms of peace, in perfect safety, and without the heat and malice of one thought of specialness to mar your rest. Forgive the Holy One the specialness He could not give, and yet you made instead.
The special ones are all asleep, surrounded by a world of loveliness they do not see. Freedom and peace and joy stand there, beside the bier on which they sleep, and call them to come forth and waken from their dream of death. Yet they hear nothing. They are lost in dreams of specialness. They hate the call that would awaken them. And they curse God because He did not make their dream reality. Curse God and die, but not by Him Who made not death, but only in the dreams. Open your eyes a little; see the Savior God gave to you that you might look on him, and give him back his birthright. It is YOURS.
The slaves of specialness will yet be free. Such is the Will of God, and of His Son. Would God condemn HIMSELF to hell and to damnation? And do YOU will that this be done unto your Savior? God calls to you from him to join His Will to save you BOTH from hell. Look on the print of nails upon his hands that he holds out for your forgiveness. God asks your mercy on His Son, and on Himself. Deny them not. They ask of you but that your will be done. They seek your love that you may love yourself. Love not your specialness instead of them. The print of nails are on your hands as well. Forgive your Father it was NOT His Will that you be crucified.
Comparison MUST be an ego device, for love makes none. Specialness ALWAYS makes comparisons. It is ESTABLISHED by a lack seen in another, and maintained by searching for and keeping clear in sight all lacks it can perceive. This does it seek, and this it looks upon. And ALWAYS whom it thus diminishes would be your Savior, had you not chosen to make of him a tiny measure of your specialness instead. Against the littleness you see in him you stand as tall and stately, clean and honest, pure and unsullied by comparison with what you see.
Nor do you understand it is YOURSELF that you diminish thus. Pursuit of specialness is always at the cost of peace. Who can attack his Savior, and cut him down, and recognize his strong support? Who can detract from his omnipotence, and SHARE his power? And who can use him as the gauge of littleness, and be RELEASED from limits? You have a function in salvation. ITS pursuit will bring you joy. But the pursuit of specialness MUST bring you pain. Here is a goal that would defeat salvation, and thus run COUNTER to the Will of God. To value specialness is to esteem an alien will, to which illusions of yourself ARE dearer than the truth.
Specialness is the idea of sin MADE REAL. Sin is impossible even to imagine, without this base. For sin rose from it, out of nothingness, an evil flower with no roots at all. Here is the self-made savior, the creator who creates UNLIKE the Father, and which made His Son like to itself, and NOT like unto Him. His SPECIAL sons are many, NEVER one, each one in exile from himself and Him of Whom they are a part. Nor do they love the Oneness which created them as One with Him. They chose their specialness INSTEAD of Heaven and INSTEAD of peace, and wrapped it carefully in sin, to keep it "safe" from truth.
You are NOT special. If you think you are, and would defend your specialness against the truth of what you REALLY are, how can you know the truth? What answer that the Holy Spirit gives can reach you, when it is your specialness to which you listen, and which asks AND ANSWERS? Its tiny answer, soundless in the melody which pours from God to you eternally in loving praise of what you are, is all you listen to. And that vast song of honor and of love for what you are seems silent and unheard before ITS mightiness. You strain your ears to hear ITS soundless voice, and yet the Call of God Himself is soundless to you.
You CAN defend your specialness, but never will you hear the Voice for God beside it. They speak a different language, and they fall on different ears. To every special one a DIFFERENT message, and one with DIFFERENT meaning, is the truth. Yet how CAN truth be different to each one? The special messages the special hear convince them THEY are different and apart; each in his special sins and safe from love, which does not see his specialness at all. Christ's Vision IS their enemy, for it sees not what THEY would look upon. And it WOULD show them that the specialness they think they see IS an illusion.
What would they see instead? The shining radiance of the Son of God, so like his Father that the memory of Him springs instantly to mind. And with this memory, the Son remembers his own creations, as like to him as he is to his Father. And all the world he made, and all his specialness, and all the sins he held in its defense AGAINST himself, will vanish as his mind accepts the truth about himself, as it returns to take their place. This is the only "cost" of truth. You will no longer see what never was, nor hear what makes no sound. Is it a sacrifice to give up nothing, and to receive the Love of God forever?
You who have chained your Savior to your specialness, and given it HIS place, remember this: He has NOT lost the power to forgive you all the sins you think you placed between him and the function of salvation GIVEN him for you. Nor will you CHANGE his function, any more than you can change the truth in him and in yourself. But be you certain that the truth is just the same in both. It gives no different messages, and has ONE meaning. And it is one you BOTH can understand, and one which brings release to BOTH of you. Here stands your brother with the key to Heaven in his hand, held out to you. Let not the dream of specialness remain between you. What is one IS joined in truth.
Think of the loveliness that you will see within yourself, when you have looked on him as on a Friend. He IS the enemy of specialness, but ONLY friend to what is real in you. Not one attack you thought you made on him has taken from him the gift that God would have him give to you. His need to give it is as great as yours to have it. Let him forgive you all your specialness, and make you whole in mind, and one with him. He waits for your forgiveness only that he may return it unto you. It is not God Who has condemned His Son. But ONLY you, to save his specialness, and kill his Self.
You have come far along the way of truth; too far to falter now. Just one step more, and every vestige of the fear of God will melt away in love. Your brother's specialness and yours ARE enemies, and bound in hate to kill each other and DENY they are the same. Yet it is not illusions that have reached this final obstacle that seems to make God and His Heaven so remote that they cannot be reached. Here, in this holy place, does truth stand waiting to receive you both in silent blessing, and in peace so real and so encompassing that NOTHING stands outside.
Leave all illusions of yourself OUTSIDE this place, to which you come in hope and honesty. Here is your Savior FROM your specialness. He is in need of your acceptance of himself as part of you, as you for his. You are alike to God as God is to Himself. He is not special, for He would not keep one part of what He is unto Himself, NOT given to His Son, but kept for Him alone. And it is this you fear; for, if He is not special, then He willed His Son be like Him, and your brother IS like you. Not special, but possessed of everything, INCLUDING you.
Give him but what he has, remembering God gave Himself to BOTH of you in equal love, that both might share the universe with Him Who chose that love could never be divided and kept separate from what it IS and must forever be. You ARE your brother's; part of love was not DENIED to him. But can it be that YOU have lost because HE is complete? What has been given him makes YOU complete, as it does him. God's love gave you to him and him to you, BECAUSE He gave Himself. What is the same as God IS One with Him. And ONLY specialness could make the truth of God and you AS One seem anything BUT Heaven. And the hope of peace at last in sight.
Specialness is the seal of treachery upon the gift of love. Whatever serves its purpose MUST be given to kill. No gift that bears its seal but offers treachery to giver and receiver. Not one glance from eyes it veils but looks on sight of death. Not one believer in its potency but seeks for bargains and for compromise that would establish sin as love's substitute, and serve it faithfully. And no relationship that holds its purpose dear but clings to murder as safety's weapon, and the great defender of all illusions from the "threat" of love.
The hope of specialness makes it seem possible God made the body as the prison-house which keeps His Son from Him. For it DEMANDS a special place God cannot enter, and a hiding-place where none is welcome but your tiny self. Nothing is sacred here but unto you, and you alone, apart and separate from all your brothers; safe from ALL intrusions of sanity upon illusions; safe from God, and safe for conflict everlasting. Here are the gates of hell you closed upon yourself, to rule in madness and in loneliness your special kingdom, APART from God, AWAY from truth and from salvation.
The key you threw away God gave your brother, whose holy hands would offer it to you, when you were ready to accept His plan for your salvation in place of yours. How could this readiness be reached save through the sight of all your misery, and the awareness that your plan has failed, and will forever fail to bring you peace and joy of ANY kind? Through this despair you travel now, yet it is but ILLUSION of despair. The death of specialness is NOT your death, but your awaking into Life Eternal. You but emerge from an illusion of what you are, to the acceptance of yourself as God created you.