You might be angry with someone, you might be upset and annoyed about what they're doing or how they're treating you or others, but here's the secret.

There is no such thing as genuine anger.

Anger always has a secret motive of USING the other person to get rid of YOUR own sin and guilt. Always.

It's very convenient that anger comes across as though you are justified, outraged, offended, annoyed, as though it's entirely someone else who is wrong and not you.

And even in the midst of that anger or upset you will feel all hurt and victimized and unfairly treated, making it seem like this experience is something you totally do not want and have not asked for. You even think you want to get rid of the anger and make it go away. Except you don't.

It serves your secret plan to get rid of your deeper sin, which you've made unconscious to yourself.

You might complain, you might blame, but you're getting a huge benefit by maintaining this state of anger and upset.

You WANT other people to attack you, you WANT other people to hurt you, and you WANT them to do things to you so that you will have a great opportunity to find them guilty.

You'll then jump at the chance to accuse them, regardless of how upset you are or how much you perceive that you don't want this to be happening. You DO want it to be happening.

You are using other people to hurt you so that you can get revenge and get rid of your own sin. You're trying to make them wrong, think of them as the one who is wrong or bad, so that you have this opportunity.

So in your anger, it might seem as though you're upset because of what they are doing to YOU. But what about what you are doing to THEM?

Your desire to see them as wrong is an attack. Your desire to find them guilty is an attack. Your desire to pin the blame on them is an attack. This hardly justifies your innocence.

No-one else is ever the real cause of your upset. No-one else ever attacks you or makes you experience effects. No-one else puts the effects into you or into your body. No-one can do anything to you but your own mind.

You have to own up to this and admit that YOU believe you are sinful and guilty, regardless of whether other people seem to be accusing you. YOU believe it. And you need to undo that belief (go to the Atonement) if you are to be at peace.

Then having forgiven yourself for what you did not REALLY do (sin is not real), you'll be able to recognize that this other person was innocent all along, they were COMPLETELY uninvolved in what you were experiencing. They didn't cause any of it. You were just using them and doing it to yourself.

"The ego is the idea of selfishness. The soul is the idea of self-fullness."

Within me there is an ego aspect which is very selfish. This aspect rears its head if I see myself as having to do something I don't want to do, being caused to do something because of someone else, or that my condition or situation is a result of something outside my control.

My mind goes into a victim mode where I see myself as being at the effect of external powers. I start to become justified in anger. I start to complain and make noise about how I'm having to do all this stuff "because of" something or someone else. How it's all their fault.

And as I listen to myself in those states I see a tremendous selfishness. Everything I say is laden with "you're doing this to me" and "if it wasn't because of you" and "its your fault" and "you're not meeting my needs" and "my needs aren't met" and so on.. all revolving around this self absorption.

It even can take on a guise of trying to be helpful or "care" in such a manner as to see myself as doing stuff for someone else for "their benefit" and me not getting any benefit from it, and then accusing them of inflicting this upon me, and that I'm suffering because of my efforts to be helpful. It's a strange twisted ego response.

This was flaring up for me recently and i was quite shocked as just how victimy and selfish I sounded as I ranted on about things I was having to do that seemed outside my control or which could not be avoided. Everything that came out of my mouth was all about me me me and my needs and my wants and my effects which seemed to have been caused by something that's not me. lol

This is what the ego is. It's this idea of selfishness. Many people think that ego means individuality, it doesn't. It means an individual WHO IS SELFISH. And that selfishness is just one mental condition of that individual, which can be healed and restored to an individual who is NOT selfish. Selfishness means attempting not to SHARE anything or give anything. Sharing is the natural condition of the sons of God who cooperate with each other perfectly fine when they're not being selfish.

The end of selfishness is not the end of your self. It's merely the end of seeing your self as a victim. It's the end of hoarding, ownership, possession, isolation, imprisonment, exclusivity and specialness. When those things go, the "selfish person" goes, but the person that you are, underneath, does not go anywhere. It becomes uncovered for the loving being that it is.

There is a significant ego trap at play, when people are significantly upset about the world. Maybe upset about cruelty to animals, upset about violence or torture, upset about the economy, upset about how people treat each other, upset about who got elected, or whatever. And especially if you are more sensitive or more easily affected or more reactive, you will join the rollercoaster ride of hell and despair.

When we are 'upset', we are making this bold statement of how we're justified in being upset because the world is not right. Which means, we are locked into being upset, because if the world doesn't change and we maintain this attitude, we are permanently going to be upset. And that means we have absolutely no way to be happy because the world sucks.

So as people get upset, they get locked into reactions, because they can't change what's happening out there to trigger them, and the truth is, they do not want to change their attitude or perspective. They don't realize that their perception is coming from ego, or that there is another way to look at this, or that there is any way in which 'this horrible thing' could be acceptable.

The ego loves to be upset about the world. The ego loves to be unhappy about how things are happening. The ego loves to be upset about all the little damaged animals and all the broken homes and all the warring countries. It loves that. It gets to be victimized by it, at the same time as saying it doesn't want it. It gets to complain about it. It gets to scapegoat. It gets to project blame all over the place. It gets to condemn and judge, in the name of upholding some kind of ideal of perfection and right living.

The ego is always two-faced like this. It says one thing while doing another. It is always contradictory. As it seems to take great offense at something, it's simultaneously taking the opportunity to counter-attack. There is just no end of suffering to be found when all you can do is react with upset to a world of hell and death. So then if you 'care' too much about the world, about the sorry sob-story of the little victims and so on, then you won't be able to detach and you won't be able to find peace.

Some of the things happening in this world are seriously disturbing, to the ego, because it wants to be really really upset, because it loves that. Some of these things happen and you just can't get them out of your mind because they're so upsetting. And the ego loves that. It can be very controversial and very unpopular and very radical to suggest... that you should look at this thing differently, such that you become at peace with it and you 'allow' it. How dare you look as though you are actually allowing horror to take place, says the ego, who wants to find you guilty. It doesn't want you to be detached because that means, detaching from IT.

So it's one thing to be all upset and pissed off and unpeaceful and JUSTIFIED in being this way... but anger is never justified. You cannot and will not ever be happy if all you do is react in a state of unconsciousness and unawareness to every 'bad thing' that appears to be bad out there.

How about this. How about it is all a trap? How about there is a word for all these bad things? How about.... temptation? How about the ego made this stuff on purpose, to deliberately try to upset you, so that you would believe it is real, so that you would take it seriously and buy into it, so that you would..... drumroll please...... stay the hell away from God? Are you so sure that all those innocent victims are really so innocently victims, now that they are actually a part of the ego's plan to destroy you? Are you going to keep listening to that? There HAS to be a better way.

I complain that food manufacturers constantly package food in containers which are way larger than the contents, and when you go to open it up you find it's half empty and feel deceived. It IS a dishonest practice. At first it was the 'oh potatoe chips need extra air space to cushion them against breakage' but then it was... well, here's 20 other foods that don't have this risk but still come with a large airspace. The packaging mis-represents what you actually will get. Ok, that's just a deceptive shitty lie.

Ok. That's my complaint. Now, let's look at what has happened because of this complaint.

I've started out by seeing myself as being victimized. I ask, who am *I* in this scenario. There's the food manufacturer over there and there's the product sitting in front of me and I'm seeing this scenario where I'm looking at ME in a particular way. I think I'm looking at the food container and complaining, but that's actually a few steps down the road. What happened before my angry reaction was me seeing myself 'in' the scenario as a victim. ie..

1) If the food item has more empty space than needed, I have decided that this means there is dishonesty. It's dishonesty on the level of form and implies deceit.

2) If there is deceit in the food item, and because I say it means they are being deceiving, and because I have an interest in this food item, I am now a part of the story and it is ME that is being deceived. It's personal!

3) Now that it's 'affecting me' (because of the way I CHOSE to position myself as the victim in the story), I am now justified in anger and annoyance. Now I can blame them. Now I can say it's their fault that I am angry, because what they did happened before what I did. But this covers up the fact that what I did (made it real, gave it meaning it doesn't have, treated it as non-neutral), happened before anything else.

4) If I am seeing guilt in the food container then who is experiencing guilt? I might be trying to get THEM to experience guilt but it's a part of my reality, so *I* am experiencing guilt, albeit displaced. That means there's guilt in my mind, and I believe in my own guilt. That means I believe I've sinned, and I'm trying to pin it on the food container and the people who made it wrongly.

So as I find the huge airspace in a bag of chips annoying, or the gross vomit-like quality of tv dinners to be nothing like the beautiful arrangement on the box cover, or the totally unnecessary container size housing rather less product just to get me to think that I am getting more than I am, I have this opportunity to realize.... this is ONLY there to trigger my own self-attack and to remind me that I am CHOOSING to see myself as a victim, and I'm only choosing that because *I* BELIEVE* I am deceptive and dishonest and guilty. Hmmm.

So... then it boils down to this. I can't hold THEM guilty without holding myself guilty, because this guilt is mine. Hmm. Ok, I forgive them BECAUSE they did not do anything, I DID IT. And I forgive me because I did not really DO anything, nothing has happened. And I am forgiven already because none of this happened in the first place, it's just a dream that isn't real. And I am actually whole and one with GOD right now being HAPPY rather than right. Yay. We are ALL innocent and equal and One and none of us are guilty at all.

Ok now to eat some chips.

In this world, everything which is held to be most true and cherished is actually the most false, fake thing imaginable.

It will be considered highly controversial and even insensitive and deranged to suggest, for example, that every victim wants to suffer. That even victim is an attacker, attempting to prove that others are sinful and who are using suffering as a way to condemn everyone else.

It would also be considered controversial to say that everyone who is sick is actually attacking everyone else with sickness and is using it to prove that others are sinful. That every sickness is a lie, and every sickness is an attempt to hurt other people.

It will especially be considered controversial to say that death is always chosen, that people who die apparently through absolutely no choice of their own, really really really wanted to be dead, want to destroy everyone else, and want God to be dead as well. How about that?

How about the fact that every victim is a victimizer who attacks others with their mind, or that people who are suffering the most are the most attacking of others? Or that people who complain are professional attackers? Or that people in fear and victimhood are the most toxic?

Those who are in the illusory position of being the LEAST likely to be thought of as vicious or a victimizer or the cause of anything bad whatsoever, are those who actually are the MOST murderous and the most "evil".

How about innocent babies who are victimized, surely they didn't come here to deny their unconscious guilt and portray themselves as completely innocent in order for nobody to ever suspect they are the one who attacked God?

The world would find these truths to be absolutely outrageous, even offensive, and downright upsetting to the average ego mind. People will react with ego defensiveness and denial and even hatred. You can lose friends and family over it.

We live in a world of tremendous illusion, a world filled with horrifying lies and PROFOUND pretense that those to whom bad things happen are the least likely to be the cause of those things happening. It is absolutely backwards to the truth of God. This is why the truth is so incredibly radical and often so difficult to accept.

What about people who are afraid, who are actually making an attempt to attack others and find them to be the cause of fear, so that they can have a great opportunity to justify anger and retaliation and murder?

What about people who seem to march for freedom and carry banners and go up again inhumane treatment and animal rights, who make suffering real and want to keep it in order to accuse others of being wrong, so that they will be assuaged of their hidden crime of killing God?

Or those who implement security measures in order to "protect freedom", while simultaneously implementing imprisonment on a a mass scale? Or people who create "antivirus" software who actively focus on and amplify the need to become a better hacker thus producing even more vicious viruses? Or how about all the so-called "treatments" that are applied through medicine and pharmacies which allegedly help but end up with worse side effects and increase the overall death rate because they don't really work?

Every thought and belief and value that your ego holds as truth and important is going to be completely overturned by the Real Truth of God, which is going to rub this world completely the wrong way. It goes entirely against the grain. It is not welcome here. And as you side with it, you may not be welcome here either.

Do you think Jesus had a lot of support? He really did not. People weren't ready or willing, not even most of the disciples. Their egos did not and could not accept the truth.

You might find yourself also at odds with what other people interpret the truth to be, and will constantly have to be pulling back from your ego allegiances in order to be true to yourself and true to the consistency of the Truth that is emerging in your mind. Eventually you may seem to stand alone against the entire world, with few willing to listen to anything you say. You are not likely to be popular with the ego mind's of this world.

But would you rather be ego, or be happy?

If you meet a person who complains a lot, they frame themselves as a victim and then tell you all the many many ways that someone or some group of people are wrong. They go on and on and on and on and on endlessly. And meanwhile you feel like you are being held hostage and can't get away and you can't shut them up. And then as you try to leave, they follow you and keep on going with their diatribe.

What's happening is the person is full of guilt and shame and secretly condemns themselves a lot. They see themselves as victimised by all the many things in the world that they seem to not like. But they are not being spiritually responsible, for their experiences and feelings, so constantly accuse the world of causing it. They feel justified in pointing a finger of blame and listing off all the many sins they see outside themselves, but really because they themselves believe they are sinful. They hate themselves, so they like to hate others. Their shit don't stink, and they portray themselves as always idyllic and harmless and justified in being righteous.

The payoff for them is that if they can project their sins onto other people and find everyone to be guilty, it makes them have a certain sense of psychological relief from the heavy burden of their own hidden guilts. They get to come off as innocent and not like those who sin, separated off from them, and therefore not the guilty one. It produces an illusion that they believe they are not guilty, which is a form of denial.

Meanwhile, the more that they do this, the more they are basically imprisoning others. They are projecting their own imprisonment, and in effect really see themselves as imprisoned by their own guilt. They are locked in and stuck in their own confinement, so are expressing confinement to you. And that makes you feel like you are being locked in confinement. Whether or not they actually target you or complain about something you are believing or doing, it doesn't matter, because they want your indirect acknowledgement that they're right and that you are bearing witness to their innocence.

So long as you agree with them, don't stop them, allow them to spew, and go along with it as though condoning it and not challenging it, they will keep going and never end. They find validation by your passive receipt of it. Meanwhile their condemning blaming imprisoning vibe can make you feel like you're being held hostage and that the other person is using you, like you're chained to them and have to hear the long list of sins, so that they'll feel better about themselves. They don't want to let you go or be free because they won't be able to scapegoat and get rid of their guilt. It's really a guilt dump onto you so that they feel better, in illusion.

There is another way that this plays out. I've noticed if someone sees themselves as a victim and isn't being spiritually responsible, they'll believe that things you personally do make them feel unpleasant, guilty, shameful etc. They will then accuse you of being the cause of their suffering, even though they did it to themselves by taking something personally. They will twist what you said and use it against you as though you caused them to have a reaction. And now they'll start to get angry at you and scapegoat you and demand an apology.

This becomes a form of intimidation, where responsibility has been shifted, and now you supposedly are responsible for making them feel better. They hold what they did to themselves against you, and now you feel like it's your fault, you feel guilty, and now you feel like you have to atone or make it up to them. You have to now grovel and lower yourself and make an apology, after which they grin with delight that they forced it out of you and made themselves feel superior.

It becomes a kind of tyrannical relationship of control and blame, where you are accused of causing them what they're supposed to be responsible for. You feel imprisoned by this accusation, and supposedly guilty for causing them. They get this angry strong opinion about how you're wrong. They totally depend externally on someone apologising or meeting their needs or sucking up to them, in order for them to feel better, because they are not being responsible for how they feel. They depend externally on this positive feedback and getting positivity from others, to make up for their lack of responsibility for feeling shit. And meanwhile they judge the living shit out of everyone and everything.

So then you start to feel obligated and held hostage and like you can't tell them they're wrong. Since they depend so heavily on external validation, you also sense that if you were to say anything against them or that they might take as an attack or that they might think of as not validating their bullshit, they will become even more angry and negative and scapegoating, and then they'll become a big monster and do something even more threatening and aggressive and controlling. So then you become afraid that they'll have power over you, control you, manipulate you, and that you're not good enough.

This kind of person is so victimy and so dependent on externals and so believing the physical world and generally likely atheistic and non-spiritual, such that they act like a gatekeeper and superior person whose opinion has to be requested on all matters. Like they are really important and special. And if you agree with them they shower you with ultra positivity and loveliness, and if they don't agree with you they go into an angry pout mode and become aggressive.

The special love flips to special hate. So now it's very hard to question their motives or to point out their flaws or to push back on their strong opinion because you know they'll just go into attack mode and make you an enemy. So instead they get to stay in a kind of 'everything's wonderful' state of illusion and fake special love relationship and dishonesty and irresponsibility, acting like they have the face of innocence all pleasant and nice to everyone, only to become an enraged monster when anyone points out their bullshit.

Either way you can end up feeling held hostage by someone's ego, with demands that you act a certain way, or indirectly demands that others act a certain way, in order for them to be happy. It can be difficult to stand up to and to draw a boundary with these people, to stop them from their spewing or to raise doubts about their motives. In both cases the person is a scapegoater, a judger and a hater of the things in the world that they consider wrong.

They segment the world into positives and negative, side heavily with what they like and side heavily against what they don't like. This is a spilritualizaiton of the world, an attempt by their egos to make out that some parts of the illusion are better than others, and leads to believing that they themselves are better than others. In their siding with the face of innocence they become overpowering and seeing themselves as holier than thou. In effect, those who portray themselves as the innocent victims tend to be the most vicious accusers.

"The partly innocent are apt to be quite stupid at times." UrT3D3

"This is particularly unfortunate, because frightened people are apt to be vicious" UrT3C15

"The first presents the face of innocence, the aspect acted ON. It is this face that smiles and charms and even seems to love. It searches for companions, and it looks at times with pity on the suffering, and sometimes offers solace. It believes that it is good, within an evil world. This aspect can grow angry, for the world is wicked, and unable to provide the love and shelter innocence deserves. And so this face is often wet with tears, at the injustices the world accords to those who would be generous and good." UrT31E2

"Beneath the face of innocence there is a lesson that the concept of the self was made to teach. It is a lesson in a terrible displacement, and a fear so devastating that the face which smiles above it must forever look away, lest it perceive the treachery it hides. The lesson teaches this; "I am the thing you made of me, and as you look on me you stand condemned, because of what I am." UrT31E4

"The higher mind thinks according to the laws spirit obeys, and therefore honors only the laws of God."

Since spirit obeys only God's laws, and Spirit is love, expressions of love (miracles) are expressions of the laws of spirit. Spirit is beyond the "nature" of the ego, and therefore miracles have a super-natural, spiritual origin. What you may not realize is that this entire world is constructed from the ego's fake laws of nature, even down to the subatomic physics.

The laws of the ego are invented by the ego. The dream, which is an effect of an "invisible" higher-level cause, does not contain any real causes. But it contains illusions of causes. These illusions of causes make it seem like one part of the same level causes effects in other parts of the same level. This is not true. All effects are orchestrated from a higher level, including the illusion that one thing causes another.

So when you study this fictional "world", and you see one object seeming to move and collide with another object to "cause" it to behave differently, this SEEMS like there is some kind of a law involved. Like the laws of physics, suggesting that actions have equal and opposite reactions.

The truth is that actions do NOT have equal and opposite reactions. Actions on this level are not actions. They are all reactions - effects, pretending to be actions. The action, and its effects, are both effects coming from an unseen dimension.

The ego has been very clever to disguise and hide God's nature and the laws of Spirit, by creating FORM, and nothing is so blinding as sight of form. The behavior and interaction of forms creates an illusion of cause and effect happening on this same level. And so on this level it appears that some things cause other things, and that this is "natural". It could not be further from natural.

What it really expresses is the fact that what is not love is murder, and every part of the ego thought system (of which this world is a part) is murderous. The ego thought system believes that what applies to one thing does not apply to another, therefore there are differences, therefore you can cause (attack) without being attacked (affected).

This is why so-called "causes" in this world seem to escape the effects they inflict on other things. It seems possible to throw a brick through a window without damaging the brick. But since what applies to the brick does not apply to the window, this is an illusion based on differences, and is an expression of a murderous idea. The brick "gets away with" (murders) the window because the so-called properties of the brick (the laws applying to it) are "different" to the properties and laws of the window. It is not "natural" to be murderous, and so this "law of nature" that the brick will break the window is NOT being governed by a natural law or the "laws of physics".

The truth about this universe/world/planet is that it is not run by laws of physics, there is no such thing as physics, and in fact it is run by the mind from a higher level. And it doesn't really exist because it is just a dream being projected and dreams are fictional. This is why "there is no world."

Since all true causality is in the mind, and all of the mind is "above" the level of this world and its effects, when the mind decides to exercise its ability to cause, it can "modify" the content of the dream, or rearrange it, in order to demonstrate and prove that it is NOT really governed by the ILLUSORY LAWS, but by the laws of spirit.

Since spirit is love and love's expressions are miracles, these "acts of love" demonstrating the true laws or "true nature" of existence, MUST DEFY AND BREAK the illusions of horizontal laws that the ego assumes are true.

If a child is playing with a train set and the train is traveling around the track "on rails", seemingly by itself, following physical laws, it can only go where the "laws" seem to tell it to go. However, if the child reaches down and picks up the train and positions it in a totally different section of track, all of those laws are completely defied. Indeed, another child may complain that "you're not supposed to do that" because it breaks the ILLUSION of the game they were playing at PRETENDING the train is going around the track on its own.

The mind of the dreamer is what dictates what shows up, where it shows up, how it shows up, and how it behaves. Any so-called "interactions" of objects are FAKE. The objects would completely pass through each other and occupy the same space if it were not for the MIND deciding to make it seem like they collide with each other and perform a cascade of so-called "reactions". There is no such thing as a real reaction. Spirit creates and extends, it does not react.

This whole world and everything in it was designed to conceal the nature of God and His laws, behind a smokescreen of fake laws and fake nature. To present an illusion that one thing depends on another or causes effects in another, thereby expressing the ego's insane idea of un-equal laws or finite laws which apply only some of the time to some objects. After all, not all objects are causing something to happen at all times, and even objects which are affected turn around and become causes soon after. Are they causes, or effects, or both, or neither?

Nothing in this world has the power to express the laws of Spirit on its own because "form" is the form of ERROR, and error is all about separation and powerlessness and fake causality. Miracles HAVE to express something which is BEYOND the nature of this world, in order for them to be miracles at all. It is not a miracle for a car to drive down a road. It is a miracle for the car to disappear and reappear 50 miles further along in a split second. It is not a miracle for a tree to catch on fire. It is a miracle for the tree to avoid being burned in the midst of a raging forest fire where everything around it was incinerated. Ego laws MUST be defied in order for it to be miraculous.

Miracles obey the laws of Spirit, not the laws of the ego. For a miracle to express, something which the ego APPEARED to establish as true is shown to be FALSE, and is demonstrated to be false, by completely defying and breaking and overriding the ego laws to produce effects which are outside those laws. This would include for example giving someone new eyeballs after they were born without any eyes. Or re-growing a missing limb. Or turning water into wine. Or walking on the top of the ocean without sinking.

If this nature-defying, thus super-natural element is missing from miracles, and if miracles in ACIM are not super-natural, then what are they? There is nothing super natural or ego defying or ego-law-breaking about shifting perception. There is nothing ego-law-breaking or capable of demonstrating that the laws don't apply, in correcting some thoughts. There is nothing that's going to change the direction the world spins when some old emotions are released. There's nothing particularly powerful about any of these efforts at purification. They are just clearing away belief in ego laws to make way for Spirit to express itself.

If you perceive that you have lost something, then your logical response is despair. You are not grateful because you have not received. Something has been taken away instead, and it inspires ingratitude. You also can feel the same way if you think you are getting something you do not want - you resent it, judge it and reject it instead of being grateful for it.

You will then feel that you do not want what has happened. You will fight with it, resist it, hate it, and wish it was the way it used to be. Whatever has been lost, you want it back. And you feel justified in feeling loss so long as it remains absent.

At the same time, the ego wants what has been lost to stay lost, because it really believes in loss as death. Loss is the gap of spacetime. Loss is the absence of love. Loss is the suggestion that something of God is missing from reality. It is a rejection of life and love and happiness. It is an attempt to die.

Such a state of mind does not inspire gratitude because it feels more like a treachery, a theft, a taking away, a diminishment, in which you now don't have what you should have. And then there will be hate and anger and resentment and a sense of not wanting whatever else someone or some place is offering, because it's not the thing you're missing.

In loss, you will then reject everything, not acknowledge what you have, not appreciate or even recognise what is present, and will just wish that you had the thing that is absent. But wanting what is not there can only produce what we call grief, which is the unhappy despair and sadness and sense of horror that everything of value has gone away.

But what can this be other than a denial of God, a rejection of love, an unwillingness to live, an insistence that death is true, and a failure to recognise what has been given. There is no gratitude because there is no acknowledgement of what you are receiving.

In fact, loss can be a lesson in which you have to learn to become grateful, and to receive. It is a state in which you are are trying to do the opposite of receive, as if you gave and didn't receive in return.

It's based on the ego's breakdown of the golden rule, in which it insists that giving and receiving are not one, and therefore you have not received what you have given. This is a state of sacrifice, as if something has been sacrificed.

But such a state of mind, which is really the rejection of love and God and receiving, can only produce feelings of loss and despair. It can only incite an attachment to what is gone, a wish it be present, and yet a firm belief that it must not be. It is a way of pushing love away, pushing the valued thing away, while at the same time wishing it was here.

This can only produce a kind of "split" in the mind which produces insanity and intensifies the ego. The ego loves to be in this contradictory state of wanting and not wanting at the same time. It wants what it does not have, and it does not want what it has. This is completely backwards, of course.

The remedy requires the recognition and acknowledgement that you are NOT at a loss, and in fact the total opposite is true. It must entail realising that God has given you everything, and therefore you lack nothing at all, loss is impossible, and everything you could ever really want has been given you.

This requires you to be willing to receive. It requites a willingness to want what you have, and to no longer want what you don't have. But the ego will say, it's impossible not to want the thing that's missing because you love it so much. You want it badly. And the idea of not wanting it seems like a betrayal.

Yet badly wanting something is a state of lack and need, and the more you believe in this lack the more you will want it. So you aren't really wanting it based on love, but based on not getting what you want. The loss is therefore selfish, as part of the ego.

It is in fact by wanting what you don't have instead of what you do have, that you produce a rejection of what is here right now, and therefore a denial and unwillingness to be grateful for what has been given you in the present. It is a rejection of the acknowledgement of gain, and a dwelling on absence and death. But in fact, a willingness to want what you have, not what you don't have, is the only sane approach.

In truth, if you move into a space of being willing to receive, acknowledging that everything has been given you, and that you have everything from God, you will suddenly find that in fact that means that you have love. And the only way to really acknowledge that you have the love you thought you lost, is to acknowledge that it is still being given to you right now. In fact, God has eternally given you love, and the only problem in you seeming to "lack it" and being at a loss, is an unwillingness to receive it. You might complain by feeling it is lost, but this is really an attempt NOT to have it.

By moving into a willingness to RECEIVE, you therefore admit that God has GIVEN everything, and fully, and so completely, that in fact you have been gifted, blessed, honoured and completely recognised. In fact you have not been left out at all, you have been utterly showered with everything you could ever really want. And in that recognition that it is coming TO you, and you HAVE it, you immediately move into a natural response of gratitude. Gratitude opens your awareness to RECEIVE and to WANT what you are receiving, instead of wanting what you are not receiving.

Gratitude is therefore the antidote to loss, because it recognises gain and completely ignores the ego's insistence that death is possible. Loss is really ingratitude for what is. In fact, gratitude to God for life is the way to receive life, and is the rejection of death and the belief in death. And without a lack of God, there can be no sense of loss at all. And then suddenly you will find that everything you thought you did not want is suddenly something you can embrace and accept and want. And then you open up to a whole new life that was in front of your face all along, even while you were unwilling to acknowledge it.

And the good part is, that the love you thought you lost, is not only still with you, it is in you, as you, given to you, shared with you, and had never really left. And thank God for that. How could you actually experience that you had the love you thought was lost, if you weren't willing to gratefully receive it?! This is simply a lesson in becoming grateful to God for what he has guaranteed to be yours forever. A simple movement out of loss and despair and disaster and failure, into total happiness and gladness that everything is present and accounted for.

"Love is the way I walk in gratitude."

"And gratitude can only be sincere if it is joined to love."

"Walk, then, in gratitude the way of love."

"Today we learn to think of gratitude in place of anger, malice and revenge. We have been given everything. If we refuse to recognize it, we are now entitled therefore to our bitterness, and to a self-perception which regards us in a place of merciless pursuit, where we are badgered ceaselessly and pushed about without a thought or care for us or for our future."

"Our gratitude will pave the way to Him, and shorten our learning time by more than you could ever dream of."

"For gratitude is but an aspect of the love which is the Source of all creation."

"For love can walk no road except the way of gratitude, and thus we go who walk the way to God."

"A day devoted now to gratitude will add the benefit of some insight into the real extent of all the gains which you have made; the gifts you have received."

"Today in gratitude we lift our hearts above despair, and raise our thankful eyes, no longer looking downward to the dust. We sing the song of thankfulness today in honor of the Self Which God has willed to be our true identity in Him. Today we smile on everyone we see, and walk with lightened footsteps as we go to do what is appointed us to do."

"In gratitude and thankfulness we come, with empty hands and open hearts and minds, asking but what You give."

"My gratitude permits my love to be accepted without fear. And thus am I restored to my Reality at last."

"What IS Heaven, but a song of gratitude and love and praise, by everything created, to the Source of its creation?"

"YOU are being blessed by every beneficent thought of any of your brothers anywhere. You should want to bless them in return, out of gratitude."

"And with My gratitude will come the gift first of forgiveness, then eternal peace."

"What is your life but gratitude to Him Who loves you with an everlasting Love?"

"The unhealed healer wants gratitude FROM his brothers, but he is NOT grateful to them. This is because he thinks he is giving something TO them, and is NOT receiving something equally desirable in return. His TEACHING is limited because he is LEARNING so little. His HEALING lesson is limited by his own ingratitude, which is a lesson in sickness."

"Your gratitude to each OTHER is the only gift I want."

"Let our gratitude unto our Teacher fill our hearts as we are free to choose our joy instead of pain, our holiness in place of sin, the peace of God instead of conflict, and the light of Heaven for the darkness of the world."

"God's justice warrants gratitude, NOT fear."

"And by this LACK of thanks and gratitude, you make YOURSELVES unable to EXPRESS the holy instant, and thus you lose sight of it." "Miracles should inspire gratitude, not awe. Man should thank God for what he really is. The Children of God are very holy. The miracle honors their holiness."

I believe I have received. Thank you God.

2000 years ago Jesus said "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Gratitude is an attitude of fully appreciating what is already present, or has been already given.

What you may not realize is, if it appears you do not have what you want, if you be pre-grateful for it ahead of time, believing that you have already received it as if receiving was "in the past", it comes to you!!

There is a law here. The law is, that where there is gratitude, the thing you are grateful for is being appreciated and therefore it must be present. Should you be grateful for the presence of something that the world seems to not contain, it will materialize. It has to, because gratitude extends and believes in what it is grateful for.

In other words, gratitude CREATES. God created through gratitude because gratitude appreciates what already is and God appreciates - is aware of and fully embraces - what He already is, which creates more of the same.

This seems like complete nonsense to the ego, how can gratitude create when the thing to be grateful for doesn’t seem to exist yet? The ego thought system is only grateful for what it "gets" in the future, not for what is HAS. It’s non existence is an illusion because all that God provided is ALREADY GIVEN, merely hidden temporarily. And so lacking it is NOT TRUE.

It operates similarly to the law of forgiveness. Forgiveness is fore-giveness, ie it gives love and truth ahead of time proactively SO THAT nothing goes wrong and therefore there is nothing to forgive. It brings about a state in which it’s own law is extended to ENSURE there is no problem.

Similarly, gratitude to God for what he HAS GIVEN, pro-actively CAUSES it to be present, acknlowdging that it must already be here, and therefore expressing and creating it so that it does not seem to be lacking. Gratitude undoes lack or the illusion of lack, just as forgiveness undoes the need to forgive by removing the illusion of unforgiveness or judgement. And remember that miracles supply a lack and that is why they heal, therefore gratitude is miraculous!

God’s power works in the opposite direction to the ego. The ego says, I presently lack and therefore need something and so I "desire"it and then tries to use its own will power to force it to happen, without God.

This morning I found myself doing this because I was "commanding" that something be healed, it was not working, the problem seemed real and not healed yet and I became quite intense and demanding about it. Then I became frustrated and angry. I had to admit that I was trying to force it myself and was using my own will. This wasn’t working. So in frustration I gave up, which was a good thing.

God works in the opposite direction. He does not focus on the lack of what you want, because absence is the idea that God is absent. He does not focus on the answer being in the future because that reinforces the idea that God is not here right now, and that He has been here already this whole time. He does not complain because complaint is the opposite of gratitude and complaint is a failure to appreciate what is present.

Complaint attacks what is here now, gratitude loves what is here now. However, this does NOT MEAN that you should love and be great full for what is currently showing up in form! Form is an illusion! Be grateful for the shit the ego gave you and you will keep it! You have to ignore form because God did not create it. You have to love and be grateful only for what God has given, what may seem invisible to you at first.

So to bring forth a miracle healing or manifestation from God, we must ACT LIKE God’s truth and in line with God’s nature. It’s no use attacking what is, or complaining, or trying to make it go away with intensity or will power, or to desire what you want as if you do not have it. Those are not forms of asking, or forms of receiving. They focus on lack and make it real.

The ego’s attempts to "get"are guaranteed to fail because they do everything other than be like God, everything other than receiving His will, and everything which actually pushes away what you are trying to bring about. As usual, the ego makes it appear like it is asking and desiring and wanting, when in fact it is doing the opposite. Seek and do not find. To desire something on the basis that God did not already supply it, and therefore it is not here now, and only exists in the separated state of the future, is a GUARANTEE that you will continue to lack and suffer!

If God’s nature is the truth and we are asking for God‘s help, then we first need to get rid of the idea of "needing help." Instead, let us acknowledge what is TRUE ALREADY. You have already received God’s healing. God already established your perfection when He created you, which you can think of as in the past. So the perfection, restoration, healing, what you want, is not in the future. It must be already present because God alreaday established it in the past, and so it’s is already here, now.

This seems somehow impossible to ego thinking. Is it even possible to get your mind to believe that it has already received what is already given by God, even if it *appears* that it isn’t showing up yet? Yes, it is possible! Is it possible to appreciate and be grateful for, what currently appears to not even exist yet? Yes!

That your perfection appears to not be showing up right now is an illusion. It is merely blocked. Any current appearance of you not being or having what God has already given, only means that your perfection IS here already but it is hididen. The notion that it is not here, showing up as illusions of "my healed self must be in the future", is an ego lie. Your healed self IS already here. Forms that are currently showing up can be blinding. They are not really there.

You must just bring about the recognition of, gratitude for, appreciation of and belief in the truth, that God has ALREADY GIVEN what you seem to lack, literally "in the past". Gratitude receives, by focusing on the acknowledgement of it being here now, of the healing having already occurred, and truly believing that this is so because it is in accord with God’s nature.

Eventually once you have let go of all of the egoic ways you are trying to bring about a result, you need to get purely into the mindset and belief that you HAVE received from God already, regardless of what is showing up, and regardless of whether it’s absence seems to continue to show up for a while. You have to ignore all ego signals, what form looks like, what conditions seem to persist, or any fearful doubting ego thoughts about it having not worked.

If you can get your mind into this seemingly "backwards" way of thinking, which boils down to "I believe I have already been given this, I have already received it, and I am grateful to God", or even more simply, "thank you", and hold onto that belief, God will answer. Believing it is important. It has to be true for you that you feel that you HAVE received it, even if it has not materialized in form yet, and you develop that conviction by thanking God.

If you are thanking God for having already supplied your lack, then it implies you HAVE, therefore it is true, and therefore you believe it. This helps you to see through any illusion that you lack or continue to be sick. It gives you a feeling of certainty and joy in spite of any illusory conditions, and you will stay true to that belief in spite of lingering forms or circumstances. And that’s means, you are now HAVING FAITH.

Faith is a state of genuine trust and knowing, not wishful thinking or hope. It is rooted firmly in the believing that God has already provided and therefore it is a DONE DEAL. It is belief that God’s way or truth is TRUE. This belief will ignore and pay no attention to what anyone says or any doubts or anything showing up in form. It bypasses illusions and all ego signals. It transcends what appears to be showing up, knowing that God’s HAS provided.

If you are completely certain that you have received, it will give you strong faith ie strong belief, which will make it impossible for you to be swayed by external illusions or claims to the contrary. It will also give you a sense that you know the days of your sickness are now limited because you believe God more than you believe the ego illusions.

This takes you beyond the ego’s nature. Now you are playing by God’s rules, according to His will for you that you be divinely happy and healthy. That you ARE that already, and merely need manifest it by focusing on it and believing in its presence. Jesus says to be vigilant only for the Kingdom of God. This is what it means. To believe only God’s nature and to align yourself with it and receive it as God already gave it. I am still as God created me says the same thing.

You are still as God created you, therefore the perfect Self that God created before time began is still here now, it has been fully given, it is true of you, it is present already, you are grateful for it, you believe in it and know it to be true, you trust it, you allow and accept it (atonement principle), and it is therefore your reality.

Believing this way, having this faith in a God, makes you supernatural.

It seems to you that there is a separate power, a separate will, or a separate cause, which is "outside of your mind", which you seem to have no control over.

This power or will seems to show up in the body becoming sick, or stuff happening against your will, or things occurring which you complain about or seem not to want to happen.

But it's not a matter of there actually being a separate power that's acting against you. There is no separate will in the sickness doing its own thing out of control. There is no causality outside of your mind or in the world that can do anything to you without your consent.

So then you have to realize, whatever power, will, reality, force, unchangeability, intention, causality, or any other attribute of power that you see as being "in" that thing, or in the body, or in the sickness, or in the events, it CANNOT BE that these things are separate from your mind.

It is YOUR MIND, out there, separated off, seemingly turned against you, as if it is a separate cause or will or person. So now your body is showing sickness because your mind put the sickness there. And now the part of your mind which put the sickness there is at war with the rest of your mind. And now the rest of your mind sees that it seems to have an enemy who is willing against you.

You do not have an enemy.

Every enemy, every external cause, every illusion that it is "not you doing this", is actually YOU. It's YOUR MIND doing it to itself. This is the secret to salvation.

The sickness in your body is being maintained by YOUR MIND, some part of your mind, which has "turned against yourself" in unlove and denial. And now it seems there are two selves or two minds or two wills operating in conflict.

So then you get all of this impression that "you", the remaining part of your mind, is up against this foe who is "not you", and has a mind of its own. And it seems to have power over you, is causal, has will, is making decisions that you do not want.

There is no such thing. There is only YOUR MIND pretending to be two minds. Your have a split mind. You are divided against yourself. That means you are UNCERTAIN about who and what you are, are not loving yourself WHOLLY, and there is some belief in separation and denial in your mind which is making it SEEM as if a separate mind is attacking you.

So if that sickness is actually something YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF, and if that sickness is actually coming from your mind, and that "enemy" that you perceive is actually YOU, because you have regarded yourself as a sinner or attacker or vicious ego or separate sinner, then by you RECLAIMING this part of your mind into your whole self, you are alleviating and taking back and undoing this split in your mind.

So now if there is no split in your mind, this sickness has no mind to drive it. It has no mind to believe in it, because the sickness is just a symptom of SEPARATION, ie the idea that your mind is separate from itself. Or that there are two of you. Or that there are two decisions being made. Or two wills competing against each other. You are simply fighting with yourself.

So then, to the degree that you believe this separate cause/mind is out there and not you, to that degree you will think you have to "fight with it", and rise up against it, or find the power to attack it, having made it real, in order to free yourself from it. But that now means, you are attacking this other part of your mind, attacking your enemy, and thus attacking yourself.

Because that separate "source of will" out there, or in the body, is actually YOU. So to go against it simply reinforces the presence of the "sickness", or the symptoms, because the symptoms are just showing you that there is separation in the mind or you are attacking yourself. To attack the attack is not healing.

So what needs to happen only, is your RECOGNITION that the will and power and mind which you PERCEIVE as being "not in you" and "beyond your control" and "not you" and "I did not choose this" and "I am not causing this", must be TAKEN BACK, and reintegrated into your identity and your whole self, so that you are no longer attacking yourself or at odds with yourself. So that you are WHOLE MINDED, or SINGLE MINDED. That also means, so that you love yourself.

There is no enemy. There is no separate external cause. It's YOU! Take your power back. Nothing has power over you other than the power YOU GIVE IT by putting YOUR SELF INTO IT, by giving yourself away, through disownership, denial, and irresponsibility. You take what is in you - will, power, mind, causality, and push it away from you. Then it shows up as an enemy willing against you. No wonder! So now you need to take that back, reclaim the power, re-own yourself, stop denying yourself and be whole. This wholeness is healing. This wholeness undoes the belief in the SPLIT in your mind, and that split is the sole cause behind all symptoms of sickness.

This therefore means two very important things.

1) The symptoms of sickness can ONLY show up when your mind is split and divided against itself, and it is only by seeing part of your OWN WILL outside of you, against you, that you have level confusion and thus separation beliefs and sickness shows up. Also death. So you are the ONLY CAUSE OF SICKNESS AND DEATH.

2) When your mind is whole and not divided and is not seeing part of itself as outside of itself, THERE CANNOT BE ANY SICKNESS SHOWING UP. It *MUST* disappear. "Illusions recognized must disappear." Once you've taken yourself back and owned up to things and accepted the truth, there CANNOT BE SICKNESS OR DEATH.

Sickness cannot linger around. It's not like, ok, you fucked up and made a mess of things and sickness resulted, and now you get your mind into a happy place, and now you have to "live with" the results or consequences of your mistake. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No fucking way. This is NOT what the course is teaching at all, and many people believe this IS what the course says - that you must become at peace with whatever shit happens. NO! You must STOP MAKING SHIT HAPPEN.

The condition of your body is a DIRECT REFLECTION of the state of your mind. "A broken body is proof the mind has not been healed." "The mind must be stronger than the body, every miracle demonstrates this". Sickness cannot last when the guilt behind it removed, making sickness impossible to return. A body not used for attack CANNOT BE SICK NOR CAN IT DIE.

It's all about you being the enemy of yourself, you having split-off parts of your mind which are seeming to "will against you", but it's really YOU WILLING AGAINST YOU. That means YOU OWN THE POWER that is causing sickness to happen. And that means YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND and stop making the sickness show up.

"You made sickness and death and can therefore abolish both."

This is LITERAL. A sick body proves the mind is still sick. The body cannot show up as sick or dead if the mind is whole. Period. Anyone who if REALLY FULLY Integrated the whole of their mind fragments will no longer have level confusion and will no longer express a sick body from the mind, thus demonstrating a perfectly healed and healthy body, to PROVE that the mind REALLY IS believing that it is the SINGLE CAUSE of the body, more powerful than the body, and is thus miraculous.

Sickness must go. It is a lie. There is no such thing as real sickness or sickness that should remain while you wake up. If the body is still sick YOU ARE NOT AWAKE. If the body still dies YOU ARE NOT AWAKE. Reclaim all of yourself and you will regain awareness of immortality AND DEMONSTRATE IT.

Your only enemy is yourself. You are the only cause of everything you experience. You are doing this to yourself, and can choose again.

In order to uncover a blocked awareness, we need to be willing to admit to the truth. And that means being willing to admit that we are NOT doing what we are claiming to be doing, we DO want the suffering we are experiencing, and we ARE actively forcing ourselves to be victims.

There is a very simple law at work. And it is this: You are completely free. Which means that whatever you are experiencing, YOU MUST WANT IT. There are no exceptions to this. And this is very difficult to fully and deeply look at, yet alone to accept. Yet it is the secret of salvation.

Half the time we might be saying things like, I really want to be with God, I want to love everyone, I love my kids, I believe in healing and health, I don't believe I'm guilty, etc... BUT, at the same time, EXPERIENCING the exact opposite.

This is the ego talking. The ego is VERY good at lies. It's very good at disguises. It's very good at talking out of both sides of its mouth and being two faced. Generally speaking, the ego is the idea of dishonesty. And in dishonest states, you are quite capable of saying or even believing things that you do not REALLY believe deep down, and do not believe fully.

When you take a look at the evidence, either you ARE ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING what you say you believe is real, or you are lying to yourself. You can wrap up all kinds of lovely statements in what seem to be well-meaning fervent desires for something, but this doesn't mean you are CHOOSING TO DO these things.

For example, someone who sees themselves as being unfairly treated or victimized, will complain a lot. They will make a whole lot of noise about how much they DO NOT WANT what is happening. But all of this noise is utter bullshit. What's happening is the person HAS chosen to suffer, WANTS to keep suffering, does NOT want to actually take the steps of healing that would UNDO it, and so is literally STUCK in a state that they CLAIM to want to get out of, but which they are not ACTUALLY getting out of.

Instead, the ego victim tries to point fingers at all the reasons and powers other than themselves, that are keeping them bound to hell and upset. Waiting for someone else to bail them out. Waiting for someone to save them. Waiting for someone to change on their behalf. Or even waiting for someone to do something to them to make a difference. This is all an UNWILLINGNESS to ACTUALLY look within and undo the ACTUAL belief in sin that is lurking in the background, causing the suffering.

You have it in your power to undo all forms of suffering if you so choose, because you have free will. Your free will means you can NEVER get away with finding ANY excuse for why you are in the situation you are in. NOR that you can find any excuse for why you cannot get out of it, or why getting out of it depends on ANYTHING. Not on another person, not on the body, not on forces of nature, not on money or circumstances, nothing.

There is NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM CHOOSING HEAVEN. No-one is holding you in hell but yourself. This is the secret of salvation. If you would simply ACTUALLY go ahead and CLEARLY, CONCISELY, CONFIDENTLY COMMIT to a more healed state of mind, your mind would be healed instantly. Nothing can stop you but yourself. All the beliefs we have about WHY we can't, are made up lies.

"If you wish ONLY to be healed, you heal. Your single PURPOSE makes this possible."

Jesus states clearly in the course that your completely clear single-minded decision to heal causes you to heal. Because in this unwavering commitment to ONE OUTCOME, your will is completely unopposed BY ITSELF, and therefore does not thwart its own efforts to CHOOSE. The power of decision is your own, enabling you to DISTINCTLY CHOOSE what you WILL. Whatever happens you have asked for, and whatever you do not want does not happen. This is why you are ruler of the universe.

So if we're in a state where we're complaining about the state we're in, or we feel stuck in it, or can't get out of it, or are claiming to have the best intentions, or would do something "IF" a dependency on something else is fulfilled, we are really not being completely honest. We are not admitting to how we ourselves are holding ourselves in hell by NOT undoing the ACTUAL problem.

If the real problem is a belief in sin, we need to stop believing in sin. This will take care of ALL problems. But if we do not WANT to undo the sin, we will remain in guilt and suffering, complaining about why the suffering is unfair and making tremendous steam about just how much we "really want" to get out of it. Or to be rescued. But we have to stop and get really honest. If we are STILL suffering, we MUST NOT WANT TO STOP IT. Even if we are screaming at the top of our lungs "I want this to stop". Saying so is not taking constructive action steps to DO IT.

This deeper desire is the choice to continue suffering, and this choice is the deeper problem. It's what's blocking awareness. We have to be willing to ADMIT that we HAVE CHOSEN to suffer, and become willing to CHOOSE AGAIN, a better way, which means being willing to actually address and undo the "real cause" of the problem in our mind.

All of our positive-sounded well-meaning wishful-thinking pleasantries about how much we want the truth and love and light and God, do not actually take us closer to God. They take us away from God because they are forms of denial covering up desires NOT to be with God. Either we will choose to be with God or not to be. But when we're choosing not to be, and claiming that we want to be, we must be lying. We can't have it both ways.

Looking within to the honest facts of what we are ACTUALLY DOING, and admitting that if we are not with God it MUST be because we want some kind of sinful suffering, this opens up the doorways, lifts away the denial, removes the illusions of peace, and allows us to shed real light of truth on the situation. Then we can SEE, that in fact we have a grievance, or an unhealed wound, or a secret sin or hidden hate. And this hidden stuff's REMOVAL is what will actually brings us closer WITHIN to awareness of God's presence.

Going through the dark shit is unfortunately a lot harder and requires a lot more radical honesty than the fluffy externalized "happy seeker" route of rainbows and nice-sounding fluff. We DID choose to reject God. We did actually push away our inheritance. As Jesus states in ACIM, "the separation HAS occurred." We have to admit that we're STILL choosing it, if we are not GETTING the result of reunion with God.

We did seem to WANT to suffer. We DID make a mistaken decision by choosing that, and we need to choose again if we want peace. That means looking at what we ACTUALLY DO BELIEVE, and not at what we THINK we believe. And these dark beliefs can then be brought into the light and released.

"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace. (meaning, I literally CHOSE TO SUFFER, and I have to admit I have chosen that, in order to recognize that I need to choose again)

I made the decision myself (no one else made me suffer, I did), but I can also decide otherwise. (meaning I have the power to CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER, and to force this to happen).

I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace. (I want to stop suffering and by WILLING NOT TO SUFFER, the suffering stops - if I'm doing so honestly and fully)

I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM. (I am not GUILTY for making a wrong decision, I am just mistaken and need correction of the ACTUAL problem, which is a belief in the desire to suffer)

I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me." (I receive healing help from the Holy Spirit and open up to His Light of Truth to shine into my mind and illuminate it, so that I can ACTUALLY experience what I've been saying I want.)

It seems that Jesus is telling us in the course that all of our regular thoughts are the sole cause of all our suffering. Our faulty THOUGHTS are the problem. Just the mere act of HAVING a thought that is fearful or guilty or attacking produces an upsetting and endangered perception, which we complain about but continue to think of. Having the thought AT ALL is the problem. And there are much higher thoughts of love and peace and invulnerability that we could be having instead.

"My thoughts do not mean anything."

"My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world."

"I am affected only by my thoughts."

"I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."

"My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability."

"I see everything upside-down, and my thoughts are the opposite of truth. I see the world as a prison for God's Son."

"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you."

"The idea for today contains the only way out of fear that will succeed. Nothing else will work; everything else is meaningless. But this way cannot fail. Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts, then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed."

"What but your thoughts of misery and death obscure the perfect happiness and the Eternal Life your Father wills for you?" "Only YOUR thoughts have been impossible."

-- -- -- --

However, Jesus also distinguishes that we can have true/real thoughts instead of false/unreal thoughts. And it is our false/unreal thoughts that are a problem. The problem is, we spend almost our entire time having false/unreal thoughts. And our thoughts produce 'images' or interpretations which affect or define what we see.

"As a man thinketh, so does he perceive."

"My thoughts cannot be neither true nor false. They must be one or the other. What I see shows me which they are."

"The thoughts which the mind of God's Son projects, HAVE all the power that he gives them. The thoughts he shares with God are BEYOND his belief, but those HE made ARE his beliefs. And it is THESE, and NOT the truth, that he has chosen to defend and love."

"As my thoughts of separation call to the separation thoughts of others, so my real thoughts awaken the real thoughts in them."

"Whatever I see reflects my thoughts. It is my thoughts which tell me where I am and what I am."

"The images I see reflect my thoughts."

"Everything you see is the result of your thoughts. There is no exception to this fact."

"The world you see does nothing. It has no effects at all. It merely represents your thoughts. And it will change entirely as you elect to change your mind"

"Your thoughts of death envelop it in fear, while in your kind forgiveness does it live."

"But there is indeed a point in changing your thoughts about the world. Here you are changing the cause. The effects will change automatically."

"Nothing except your thoughts can attack you. Nothing except your thoughts can make you think you are vulnerable. And nothing except your thoughts can prove to you this is not so."

"Today's idea introduces the concept that your thoughts determine the world you see."

"Until this shift has been accomplished, you can not perceive that it is but your thoughts which bring you fear, and your deliverance depends on you."

"I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts."

-- -- -- --

Jesus goes on to tell us that if we will opt to think with and like God, sharing the Holy Spirit's thoughts, then we will see differently and will stop hurting ourselves.

"Father, I give You all my thoughts today. I would have none of mine. In place of them give me Your own. I give You all my acts as well, that I may do Your Will instead of seeking goals which cannot be obtained, and wasting time in vain imaginings."

"Your Thoughts can only bring me happiness. If ever I am sad or hurt or ill, I have forgotten what You think, and put my little, meaningless ideas in place of where Your Thoughts belong, and where They are."

"But let today's idea find a place among your thoughts, and you have risen far above the world and all the worldly thoughts that hold it prisoner."

"You think with the Mind of God. Therefore you share your thoughts with Him, as He shares His with you. They are the same thoughts, because they are thought by the same Mind."

"Father, my mind is open to Your Thoughts, and closed today to every thought but Yours."

"We accept Your Thoughts as ours, and our will is One with Yours eternally."

"Peace to my mind. Let all my thoughts be still."

"In quiet would I look upon the world, which but reflects Your Thoughts and mine as well."

"Place, then, your future in the hands of God. For thus you call the memory of Him to come again, replacing all your thoughts of sin and evil with the truth of love."

"If you would remember your Father, let the Holy Spirit order your thoughts, and give only the answer with which He answers you."

"Your ministry begins as all your thoughts are purified."

"Give Him your thoughts, and He will give them back as miracles which joyously proclaim the wholeness and the happiness God wills His Son as proof of His eternal Love."

"Exclude the outer world, and let your thoughts fly to the peace within. They know the way. For honest thoughts, untainted by the dream of worldly things outside yourself, become the holy messengers of God Himself."

"The higher mind thinks according to the laws which the Soul obeys, and therefore honors only the laws of God."

"And your thoughts will be as free as God's."

-- -- --

In order for us to atone to our real/true thoughts with God, we need to perform some degree of mind-training, mind-watching, and careful articulation of the mind's abilities. It isn't enough for us to just go about our daily business, mind-wandering, using thought to think anything and everything, and consequentially suffering from every single ego thought that crosses our minds. We have to learn to be carful with how and what we think. Especially if we want to be performing miracles which require a careful focus and intent.

"It is certainly much more useful to remind you that you do not guard your thoughts at all carefully, except for a relatively small part of the day, and somewhat inconsistently even then."

"As you sit and quietly watch your thoughts"

"Watch your minds for the temptations of the ego, and do not be deceived by it. KNOW it offers you nothing."

"Watch your minds for the scraps of meanness"

"You persist in believing that when you do not consciously watch your mind, it is unmindful."

"It is a particularly difficult form for the undisciplined mind because it represents a major goal of mind training."

"It is difficult at this point not to allow your mind to wander if it undertakes extended attempts. You have surely realized this by now. You have seen the extent of your lack of mental discipline, and of your need for mind training. It is necessary that you be aware of this, for it is indeed a hindrance to your advance."

"It is a particularly difficult form for the undisciplined mind because it represents a major goal of mind training. It embodies precisely what the untrained mind lacks. Yet the training must be accomplished if you are to see."

"It is difficult for the untrained mind to believe that what seems to be pictured before it is not there. This idea can be quite disturbing, and may meet with active resistance in any number of forms."

"An untrained mind can accomplish nothing. It is the purpose of these exercises to train the mind to think along the lines which the course sets forth."

"The purpose of the exercises for today is to begin to train your mind to recognize when it is not really thinking at all. While thoughtless "ideas" preoccupy your mind, the truth is blocked. Recognizing that your mind has been merely blank, rather than believing that it is filled with real ideas, is the first step to opening the way to vision."

"THIS IS WHY VIGILANCE IS ESSENTIAL. Doubts ABOUT being MUST not enter your mind, or you CANNOT know what you are with certainty."

"Vigilance is not necessary for truth, but it IS necessary AGAINST ILLUSION."

"Your vigilance is the sign that you WANT Him to guide you. Vigilance DOES require effort, but only to teach you that effort ITSELF is unnecessary."

"Consider how much vigilance you have been willing to exert to protect your ego, and how little you have been willing to exert to protect your higher mind."

"By teaching the power of the Kingdom of God Himself, He teaches you that ALL POWER IS YOURS. Its application does not matter. It is ALWAYS maximal. Your vigilance does NOT establish it as yours, but it DOES enable you to use it ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS."

"Attack thoughts cannot enter such a mind, because it has been given to the Source of Love, and fear can never enter in a mind which has attached itself to Love. It rests in God, and who can be afraid who lives in Innocence and only loves?"

"Miracle-working entails a full realization of the power of thought, and real avoidance of miscreation. Otherwise, the miracle will be necessary to set the mind ITSELF straight"

"Miracles are thought-creations. Thought can create lower-order or higher-order realities. This is the basic distinction between intellectualization and thinking. One creates the physical, and the other the spiritual, and we believe in what we create."

I'm noticing quite a lot of ways in which our "sympathies" about victims are being uprooted in ACIM.

Where we might've bought into and felt sorry for someone who is going through difficulties or having pains or a sickness etc, we're instead being asked to recognize the big picture.

In general, we are immortal beings who are perfect and have no real needs. Jesus then frames all forms of suffering as "the game of death", in which we deliberately choose to suffer in a very wide variety of forms, in order to try to convince ourselves and others that guilt is real, sin is real, we're bodies, we're victims, we didnt' chose it, etc.

There is a huge displacement of responsibility, a huge lack of recognition, a huge disowning of power, and a presenting of oneself in a role of a victim which makes it look like we're totally helpless and didn't choose anything. But all of this is an ego disguise to cover up the secret of salvation, that we're doing it to ourselves.

So that then reframes all suffering as self-chosen, and it means that we're playing a game at trying to portray ourselves as victimized and powerless, as if we didn't choose it and don't want it, while simultaneously denying God and rejecting immortality and trying to make out that we're something dying.

A suffering person puts on a disguise in which they portray themselves with the appearance of a victim who is going through something terrible, in order to hide the other side of the coin which is the denied and disowned responsibility, choose, causation and power, that put the thing there in the first place. It's like someone presenting a lie about themselves, deceiving themselves with it, and then trying to convince everyone else. But if you see only the surface appearance you won't see the deeper fact of how they are using their power to do this.

When we then look upon someone suffering from false perception, we'll fail to recognize the truth of what the person is really trying to pull off - an illusion of being unfairly treated - and will instead enter into false empathy, where we sympathise and go into the suffering and believe in it and then react to it with egoic impulses to fix and stop the problem, having made it real.

When we buy into suffering we're not really helping or healing, and then we're not being miraculous. To be miraculous you have to assert God's truth, which is eternal life, immortality, perfection, no problems, no needs, the impossibility of sickness, the responsible ownership of power and the power of decision, the fact that we can be hurt by nothing but our own thoughts, etc.

If we want to heal someone for example we have to NOT believe in what they are believing in, otherwise we will enter into it with them and now both of us are lost. We have to believe they are NOT suffering and are NOT sick, otherwise we can't give them anything OTHER than sickness and suffering. If someone seems to be suffering, they're not really suffering. Not in truth. Nothing real can be threatened. There is no real suffering, no real sickness, no real death. It's all an illusion made by our egos, like putting on a performance in a play and pretending.

So if you knew and recognized that someone is a perfectly capable powerful immortal being, Christ even, who has been given all the power in heaven and earth, and can do absolutely anything, and here they are presenting themselves as weak and suffering and victimized and helpless, and you knew this was an "act" in a fictional story, would you believe it and buy into it? Or would you see through the appearance and remind them that this is not the truth of them?

It is not forgiveness to be deceived by people who seem to be suffering. Yes, ok, we need to be sensitive and compassionate and have empathy and so on, and it may not be appropriate to even reveal any of this to them directly. But nevertheless for our own sanity AND for theirs, we must uphold a position of NOT believing in the lie that we are something mortal, a sick and suffering self that has had things happen to it that it didn't put there. Everyone who suffers and dies choose it, including ourselves.

To be forgiving is to be miraculous, because it means that you overlook and see right through the guilty assertion that "there is something wrong", you recognise that in truth NOTHING is wrong, and therefore you do not BELIEVE the lies that are being presented. And people who are suffering and sick and afraid and unhappy and dying and so on are NOT being honest, they are lying to themselves about what is true of them. It is your job as a miracle worker to NOT buy into it, but to recognize it as a lie and not be deceived.

In order to then be truly helpful you have to be in a position where you are believing only God's laws, God's truth, God's perfection and God's reality. That means that you believe everyone is inherently immortal, invulnerable, powerful, perfect, innocent and has nothing wrong with them. And that means you cannot believe that sickness is real or true or exists, or that suffering is real or true or exists. Such things are not POSSIBLE in God. Believing in them causes and choose and reinforces them, which is the mindset of the unhealed healer.

To be a healed healer entails not believing in suffering or sickness or death in any form it appears, because you recognize it is not true and not possible at all in God. And so it must be a lie, and you will not be deceived by it. Instead, you will assert the only truth of unconditional love, which is that the other person is already perfect, and you will affirm this in them, and hold that space for them strongly, in the light, in which you see the perfection in them and refuse to accept anything else as true of them. This makes it very hard for their mind to buy into its own lies because in your joined mind you are looking right through them.

To then assert ONLY LIFE, is the expression of love that has power and life in it, which is the giving of a miracle of resurrection. It then truly helps and truly heals, because it gives what is truly asked for - a call for love is given love. You can only give this by NOT believing the lies of sickness and suffering, and instead recognizing that only immortality is true, and the person is not really dying, and they do not really have a problem, and they are not really sick or even a body. This assertion of life gives life only, and does not give death or the belief in death, and so is only a blessing and can only help.

So we need to be aware of the fact that sympathising is ego, and false empathy does not heal, and buying into someone's pity part does not help them, and even if people are convinced with a long story about what has happened to them and how awful it is and so on, you must not buy into it if you are to be truly helpful. Yes you can have compassion for where they are at, what they believe, what seems real to them, and what they are experiencing, but not at the expense of adding extra weight to it buy believing it's true and real under God's laws.

Everyone in the world has a serious case of self-deception, which is ego, and that results in all forms of suffering. And people will always complain about the suffering and seem to not want it and to have not chosen it, but that's all part of the deception and the giving away of power and responsibility. It's how we play the game and role of being a helpless victim. It is not empowering to someone to just join them in misery, it's only empowering to give them power, which comes from God, through love and healing.

As such, those who we sympathize with and who we feel sorry for and who we think are seriously definitely stuck in some situation that no-one can do anything about, are all temptations to regard ourselves and our brothers stuck in a hell of our own making, a hell that we don't want to admit to having chosen, or having power over. But we always have the power to choose otherwise.

"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you. Yet when you accord it mercy, will its mercy shine on you."

"Forgiveness is the only thing that stands for truth in the illusions of the world. It sees their nothingness, and looks right through the thousand forms in which they may appear. It looks on lies but it is not deceived. It does not heed the self-accusing shrieks of sinners mad with guilt. It looks on them with quiet eyes, and merely says to them, "My brother, what you think is not the truth."

"Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick. The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH. The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs, because that light IS theirs."

I wasn't intending for this post to be elaborate but I LOVE how this analogy unfolded to explain the body, sickness, death, miracles, and awakening.....I think that I might even write a whole book based on this analogy alone, it's so clear and exact.... Thanks to Holy Spirit for the nudges and corrections.

...

Computers are strangely similar in their following of rules as we are in our responsibility for choice. And similarly, our bodies do exactly what we tell them to and nothing else.

A computer doesn't do anything whatsoever without a decision being made. When a decision is made, when the computer is told what you want, it produces exactly that result. The language used to tell it what to do is absolutely specific. And it only produces the exact result that was asked for. It is almost annoyingly specific in its requirement for precise instruction.

The computer doesn't really decide on its own to do anything else. It is very true to the programmer's instructions. If it seems to be doing something else, some illusion of a higher-level functioning has arisen. It's really still just processing binary data, 1's and 0s', yet produces what looks to be much more sophisticated results. Images on a screen, objects moving around, sounds happening, it's all an ILLUSION.

When the computer seems to do something it was not supposed to do, this is actually impossible. If there is a bug in the software, the computer still does what the bug tells it to do. It doesn't decide not to do bugs, and it doesn't decide to do bugs on its own. It faithfully follows instructions. That's all it can do. It has no real intelligence. It is just a machine. You get out what you put in.

The body is similar in that it is your faithful machine, and it literally only does what your mind tells it to do. It does not have a will of its own. It does not invent bugs on its own. It doesn't malfunction on its own. It only follows the program that is given to it. It is always 100% correct in carrying out orders. It does not complain or have an opinion or make judgement about rightness or wrongness of the program. It just EXECUTES.

It is a device, that you use for various purposes. Some of those purposes are malicious and as a result, they lead to the body seeming to produce malicious states of being. But regardless of these states looking like a high-level sophisticated problem, it is still just the body following orders. In this way, the body (like a computer) is completely neutral. It is your servant and you are the one operating it.

This is also exactly the same as the fact that, as Jesus tells us in the Course, you always get exactly what you ask for, you only ever get what you ask for, and you never get anything that you do not ask for. Therefore what you get and what happens is 100% your responsibility. If the body seems to go wrong or do bad things, it is because the programmer told it to.

Just as it is the responsibility of a computer programmer to give it the exact-right specific instructions for behavior, so too do you give your body exact instructions for behavior. This is why as Jesus says, if the body is exhibiting signs of sickness or disease, it must mean that the mind has given it a program where you've asked it to be sick and diseased. It is just following your request, to the letter. A sick body is a sign of a sick mind, because the programmer of the body has to be sick in order for sickness to show in the body.

This also shows us the way out of the illusion of stuff happening that allegedly shouldn't be happening. There is not ANYTHING happening in the entire world that has not been asked for by a mind. There is nothing happening in your body that you have not asked for in your mind. You put it there yourself through your instructions - your creative power and freedom. And you have received exactly what you asked for. It is a TOTALLY reliable system.

"Ask and you shall recieve" does not mean that sometimes you ask and sometimes you receive, it means you are always asking and you are always receiving and it is not even possible to not receive what you've asked for. There also therefore is never a situation where you might not receive what you've asked for, where you are in doubt, or thinking that you have asked the wrong question or don't know how to ask etc. You ask nevertheless, and everything you are experiencing right this very second, you have asked for. You can't blame the RESULTS for being something you do not want. YOU need to find out how and why you are programming the system to produce an output of suffering.

If stuff seems to be happening in the body which you don't prefer, you cannot blame the body for it, and you cannot look to outside causes to find out where the symptoms came from. There is only one program and you wrote it. Symptoms are just correct outputs, based on the program you have given the body and the request you have made.

Sickness is a correct output! Death is a correct output! If you ask for it, you shall receive it. If you say, body, you will die, it will die. If you say body you will live, it will live. This is why the illusion of things being right or wrong is 100% bullshit delusion, because there is nothing BROKEN about this system. You are giving it instructions unconsciously to produce HELL, and if that's not what you want, you need to program something else.

As explained in the Song of Prayer, you are constantly praying, constantly asking, and constantly receiving what you are asking for. Therefore, learn to pray a higher prayer. Prayer is PROGRAMMING! As Jesus says, prayer is the medium of miracles, because prayer is the act of CHANGING THE SOFTWARE! This also means that in the prayer you do not beg or request or have fear about what you are asking, you CHOOSE the results you would receive with total certainty that the system MUST produce what you have requested, and therefore you believe 100% that you MUST receive it, and YOU SHALL RECEIVE THE MIRACLE!

This also explains why really nothing has gone wrong and nothing is really happening at all. If the computer is just faithfully doing what you TOLD IT TO, nothing has gone wrong, even if what you told it to do (express a world of separation) was a pretty wacky idea for a program. This also shows why you have not gone off the path, plus there is no reason to be afraid that you cannot get back Home, because it is ALWAYS true that you are receiving what you're asking for and you can always choose again. Therefore, by choosing God's "program", you need not produce programs of suffering and death. NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM CHOOSING NOT TO PROGRAM DEATH! All death is a choice. All death is suicide.

This is why there is never anything out of place, there are no accidents, nobody dies without their own consent, and nothing happens without you making it happen. You are causal. You cause things. You produce. You direct. It is all extremely specific, 100% specific. Every single thing that seems to happen in illusions is put there on purpose. There are absolutely no victims whatsoever. Every notion of victimization, accidents, right/wrong, good/bad, should have happened or not, things unwanted, events you resist, etc.. it's all an effort by an unconscious programmer to fix the program by fighting with the output, instead of changing the program!

You have dominion over the body and over the Earth. You have power over all sickness and death because you MADE THEM with your programming, and you can UNMAKE them just as easily. If stuff is happening which, when you look at the results, you do not want, then you need to change your programming. You need to erase the instructions that you keep giving (false beliefs, delusions, ego), and replace it with a higher, more orderly program (Holy Spirit's mind, right-mindedness, sanity, truth).

Your body does not have bugs. Your programming of the body has bugs. Your life does not have bugs. Your programming of your life has bugs. You need to go fix your errors, your mistakes in thinking, which are producing exactly the correct output given the input. If you don't like the output, change the input, don't fight with the output like some victim that has no power to choose again.

You cannot keep looking at the output and saying, this output is not supposed to be happening, this output is wrong, this output is not what I asked for. That's a victim, which is a mind who has forgotten that they are the instructor and the INPUT to the system, and they are the ones who are causing the OUTPUT from the system, but they've forgotten that they're doing this. It's like they fed in a program (the script), walked away from the control system/terminal, and looked at the screen to see what results were coming out, saw something crazy coming out, and then having forgotten that they ASKED FOR IT, start freaking out and blaming the problem on 50 billion other reasons why the output is wrong.

The output is ALWAYS CORRECT based on the input, even if its an output of death. So who is really RESPONSIBLE for writing dodgy programs?! You are.

What you put in, you get out. If your mind is feeding input to your body and your life with unloving, unforgiving intentions, then you are going to be writing scripts which are filled with chosen suffering. You're going to be writing scripts, programs, which contain outputs that are unpleasant. You're going to even write scripts which create illusions that you're not the script-writer and that you did not ask for the output. You can even produce outputs which disguise the fact that there was ever a programmer!

So once you start getting SHIT come out of your printer, you probably can tell that shit was fed INTO the printer and you need to correct that. It's not the printer's fault. It's not the body-computer's fault. It's not other people's fault or life's fault or the environments fault or food's fault or anything's fault.

This is just a simple cause-and-effect system. It functions like a computer. There are decisions being made, there are inputs being given to the system, and it is producing exactly the output that was requested. There is not even a single interference with that. There is no corruption on the disk drive, there are no viruses infecting things, it's all running perfectly. EVERY prayer is being answered. EVERY request is being granted. You just keep making stupid-ass requests!

This is why if you really want to change the output, i.e. change the world or the body or any other effects, the ONLY real way to do that is to get back to the mind - to the programmer, get the programmer's mind corrected so they're not writing ridiculous programs, and then feed a new program into the system. A more truthful, orderly program. And this MUST (not sometimes, not maybe, but MUST) produce a corrected OUTPUT in the form of the "symptoms" or "effects" seen as the body. Remember Jesus's principle, "If miracles are not happening, something has gone wrong" - meaning, there is NEVER a wrong output given the input, so if you are not seeing a miracle, YOU CORRECTLY ASKED FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING FOR! And you WILL receive it.

Even in the bible it says that if you ask, and believe that you have received it, you will receive it. This suggests it's possible to not receive if you do not believe enough, which is not true. The correction for this is to realize, YOU MUST and ARE receiving exactly what you actually are asking for, so if it "looks like" you are not receiving what you want, you MUST be the one who is out of touch with what you want, and you're asking for stuff unconsciously that your conscious mind is in denial of.

Attempting to mess with what output you got, or what your body state is, or what your life looks like, from the end of the system that is the output of instructions, you are hitting your head against a wall and are attempting to perform magic. Magic means that you are believing that the output came from a non-obvious source, that the system is broken, and that you need to "patch it up" with some kind of bypass that messes with the output and mangles it to make it look like what you thought should have come out. That, however, does not fix the faulty PROGRAM, or the programmer that's nuts who is writing the faulty program, and so it will likely still keep producing the same output eventually. You can actually remove the effects of "sin" but if the person continues to "sin", i.e. write programs of separation, they will keep reproducing the same effects and symptoms.

A miracle, is simply the mind choosing to cause a different output. Writing a different program. Fixing bugs in its own software. When these changes show up in the output, it's amazing, like someone just rewrote all the rules, all of the old rules were broken, and the design of the whole system has been overridden. We call this miraculous. Some "super-natural" power from outside of the entire "matrix" of the system has just flipped some switches and changed the INPUT, and therefor the output has to fall into line.

Another way this can show up as miracles is that the programmer of the system can decide to rearrange space or time, can insert and remove objects from the scenery, can manipulate any piece of 'data' in the system, can modify absolutely anything in the system, and can convert anything into anything else. These are the powers that Jesus has demonstrated through miracles. He got in touch with the programmer's chair, sat down and started rewriting the programs. Everyone has the freedom to do this, we just have to get back into the chair and write programs from love!

We are not getting anything out of this system that wasn't put in, or that wasn't asked for. The computer is not broken. The hardware is not broken. We have a software problem. We keep writing faulty software. Software is PERCEPTION. The content of spacetime is DATA. Software operates on the data. True perception means seeing the program clearly and being able to do anything to modify it at will, producing different data - a different output.

We need, therefore, to tap into the assistance of a superior software writer, aka Holy Spirit, Jesus, God, who are capable of not only writing or changing portions of our program for us (collapsing time, rearranging space, etc), but can also guide and assist us with "correction" of our programming expressions. Thus we gradually can write a happier dream, leading up to a final climax.

The ultimate release from this whole CLOSED SYSTEM (it's closed because it's all happening inside of God and there are no hidden rules or secret wills and everything is very exact), is when you decide to ERASE ALL PROGRAMS. A complete reboot. A total fresh start. A renewing of everything. Not just a correction of all software bugs, but a complete realignment of the state of the system with God's truth. When this happens, basically the hard drive (body) is erased, the memory (ego) is erased, and all that is left is the hardware.

Then, the only thing running is the operating system - GOD, who has programmed Christ - the perfect program, to produce the perfect output - Heaven.

Let's take a good hard look at something that very few people want to ever admit. Something dark and awful, but true.

Planet Earth, and the rest of this universe, were made in a thought of opposition to Heaven. This was an attempt to make hell real, by dreaming up a world that runs completely opposite to the beautiful divine nature of the Kingdom.

To do this, an opposite to life had to be invented - death, and the entire system of thought had to be based on not only the belief in this but the attempt to make it as real as possible. To bring it about. This alternative world was an attempted weapon to destroy the Kingdom and destroy God, if that were possible.

"The world was made as an attack on God."

Because of this, everything in this world runs contrary to life and is governed solely by the laws of death and destruction. The world is an attempt not to exist and to destroy the Son of God.

"The world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son."

The world wasn't made in order to have a place to live forever. Heaven is where you live forever. The world was made to kill you. Everything in it, even those things which seem to begin or are born, are automatically infused with death right from the outset.

Death, separation, limitation, spacetime, conflict, attack, are all built into every single part of the system. Even the most beautiful flower, the cutest puppy, the loveliest sunset, are made of the illusion of death. They take on forms whose appearance is designed to tempt you to believe they are desirable, valuable, wanted. But they are nothing but illusions, designed to distract and deceive you and keep you in hell.

The fact is, that everything in this universe dies sooner or later. It does not matter what it is, or how long it takes. Planets die. Galaxies die. People die. Animals die. All of it. Sooner or later, death is going to fully express itself, as the entropy and decay gradually erode whatever illusion of life there is. And as Jesus says, this world is "at best an illusion of life, at worst death", since it cannot be alive at all.

"There is no life outside of heaven."

Jesus asks that we take a good hard look at this, because we seem to be quite deceived and deluded in believing that the world can offer us something valuable. We are constantly tempted by its attractions and exciting adventures. It offers us toys and objects and pointless things to keep us entranced. But most of it, is attempts to convince us that avoiding death here is possible, if we will just put our faith in the ego a little while longer, until death arrives.

And so one of the biggest problems we have, is that we do not recognize this world is ENTIRELY made of death, or that ALL its roads lead to death, or that there is NO ESCAPE from this hell if you play by its rules. The idea of "living here" is ridiculous. It can never be experienced as a true home. And everything it does is a murderous attack on your happiness and wellbeing. The world eats you alive. And it is designed to do nothing but destroy you. At least, eventually, when it's done pretending to be your friend.

The problem we have is that in our deception and rose-tinted blind optimism, we keep believing that this world can be or do something that it can never be or do. We keep trying to turn it into heaven. We keep trying to wrap it up and dress it up to be what it's not. In a state of denial. One more flavor, one more combination, one more appearance, one more new distraction, one more toy, one more desirable temptation to lure you in. And by believing that you can achieve some kind of escape from death through this means, the world has deceived you for a while, and you think you like it here. Until it fails. Which it will.

Make no mistake. This world was designed to result in, lead to, culminate in, and guarantee, one thing only. The death of God and his son. It has no other ambition. It has no other direction. It will always enforce this ambition sooner or later. You might spend most of your life pretending that this is not the case, avoiding the inevitable, but regardless of your outlook the world is run by laws of death.

When you don't recognize the world's "nature", its complete failure to accomplish anything, its automatic built-in destruction, and its inability to be heaven, you enter into wishful thinking, delusions, denial, and start down a fairy-tail road of spiritualized egos and thinking that this time you'll win. If you play in the ego's sandpit you will die, by its rules, when it wants you to die.

Expecting the world to be something it's not, can only make you frustrated, and disappointed. You might hope that it can be something, that you can succeed, that you can have your cake, that you can win, that you can escape somehow, but sooner or later it comes crashing down, it turns out to be an empty promise, something you don't really want, and then it breaks, and it fails, and it dies again. Wanting it to be otherwise will only frustrate you. Not recognizing that this is the only way it can be, and letting go of the wish to have it be different, simply traps you in it more.

The world WILL disappoint you, if you try to build your house on its unstable rock. It WILL disappoint you if you forget for a moment that perfection is impossible here. It WILL disappoint you when you start to become attached to hopes and dreams which are later dashed against the rocks. And it WILL disappoint you when you thought that next toy you buy was going to be your salvation, only to discover it was the wrong one, or it broke, or it didn't quite do what you thought it would do.

Nothing really works in hell, it's all broken. How many times will you have to go through the same lesson of expecting it to not be hell, only for it to result in hell, before you you learn? And no this is not an attempt to make hell REAL, it is a reminder that hell IS AN ILLUSION, and to not fall for its tricks. Because hell's biggest weapon is to make itself seem like heaven, something you want, and somewhere you want to live forever.

"You do not really want the world you see, for it has disappointed you since time began. The homes you built have never sheltered you. The roads you made have led you nowhere, and no city that you built has withstood the crumbling assault of time. Nothing you made but has the mark of death upon it. Hold it not dear, for it is old and tired, and ready to return to dust even as you made it."

We need to at least acknowledge this. We need to recognize it, see it, notice it. We need to realize this is its nature. The world is not a perfect living place. It's a place of destruction and conflict and incompletion and damage and problems and everything going wrong. It can't be any other way. All illusions have this nature built into them, because they lack the harmony, perfection and love of the Kingdom.

THE WORLD JUST SUCKS It simply does. It can't not suck. But by recognizing it inherently sucks, you can at least let go of the expectation of it not sucking. Which in fact is a truer perception, a more accurate way of looking at it. The world was made to be hell. If you can recognize that, you can be free of it. NOT recognizing illusions deceives you. And "Illusions recognized must disappear."

You are only trapped in it if you resist it, make it real, believe it's true, consider it heaven, or mistake it for God's creation. And you only keep holding onto it if you think you want it or it offers you something of value. But it cannot. Ever.

"This world holds nothing that I want."

"Teachers of God are willing to give up all the pleasures of the world."

"It takes great learning to both recognize and accept that the world has nothing to give."

"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. All its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives. Seek not escape from problems here. The world was made that problems could not BE escaped. Be not deceived by all the different names its roads are given. They have but one end. And each is but the means to gain that end, for it is here that all its roads will lead, however differently they seem to start; however differently they seem to go. Their end is certain, for there is no choice among them. ***All of them will lead to death.*** On some you travel gaily for a while, before the bleakness enters. And on some the thorns are felt at once. The choice is not WHAT will the ending be, but WHEN it comes."

Jesus isn't being negative here. He isn't being judgement or closed-minded. He's not in ego. He's being very truthful and honest and sane. He's simply pointing out what the world's nature is, without flinching or looking away or being in denial about it. The world was made from the idea of death and everything in it is designed to fail and die and cease existing. That's just how it is. It can't be any other way.

Even in the happy dream, or the real world, the laws of the physical world still remain in effect. Trees still die in storms. Animals get eaten. Planets die in supernova explosions. Stars get swallowed in black holes. Your car rusts, your shoes wear out, your food rots, and people die. It's supposed to happen this way. It's not fate, but it is an illusion of fate, based on the idea of sin being real. The wages of sin is death, and everything in this world is designed to make death and sin real.

"The world of bodies is the world of sin. From sin comes guilt as surely as forgiveness takes all guilt away. And once all guilt is gone what more remains to keep a separated world in place?"

"From the world of bodies, MADE by insanity, insane messages seem to be returned to the mind which made it."

"The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt. Look carefully at this world, and you will realize that this is so. For this world is the symbol of punishment, and all the laws which seem to govern it are the laws of death. Children are born into it through pain and in pain. Their growth is attended by suffering, and they learn of sorrow and separation and death. Their minds are trapped in their brain, and its power declines if their bodies are hurt. They seem to love, yet they desert, and are deserted. They appear to lose what they love, perhaps the most insane belief of all. And their bodies wither and gasp and are laid in the ground, and seem to be no more. Not one of them but has thought that God is cruel."

"Death is the central dream from which all illusions stem. Is it not madness to think of life as being born, aging, losing vitality, and dying in the end? We have asked this question before, but now we need to consider it more carefully. It is the one fixed, unchangeable belief of the world that all things in it are born only to die. This is regarded as "the way of nature," not to be raised to question, but to be accepted as the "natural" law of life. The cyclical, the changing and unsure; the undependable and the unsteady, waxing and waning in a certain way upon a certain path, - all this is taken as the Will of God. And no one asks if a benign Creator could will this."

When you "get excited" about something, there's a very high likelihood that you will enter into disappointment. Maybe it's a new car. Maybe you're going on a wonder vacation. Maybe it's a new pet or some new food you're trying. And maybe it will seem to you that these things are great and enjoyable and nothing to complain about. But then, maybe ignorance is bliss and you didn't notice the experience of HEAVEN that you did not have, while these falling-short substitutes came to drag you into hell.

I got a new car. Winter came. The snow and salt fucked up the interior. Oh well. I got a new fish tank. A fish died, plants died, it didn't go quite to plan. Oh well. I ordered items online, they came, they were the wrong items. Oh well. This is the kind of stuff that happens here. But if you expect it NOT to happen, you are expecting some kind of spiritualized salvation and external perfection, which is setting you up for total disappointment. The more you worship idols and seek for external saviors, the more you will be let down. And even your most valued teachers have their skeleton-full closets hidden away.

"God's teachers choose to look on dreams a while. It is a conscious choice. For they have learned that all choices are made consciously, with full awareness of their consequences. The dream says otherwise, but who would put his faith in dreams once they are recognized for what they are? Awareness of dreaming is the real function of God's teachers. ***They watch the dream figures come and go, shift and change, suffer and die.*** Yet they are not deceived by what they see."

Even for a teacher of God, a highly healed and awakened individual, the world continues to SUCK AND DIE!

THE WORLD SIMPLY SUCKS ASS! It was designed that way. It will never not suck. Even if you are happy. Even if you are truly forgiving and loving. It will still keep doing what it does until it finally vanishes into nothingness. Waking up doesn't stop the world from killing 130,000 people a day. Waking up doesn't repair everyone's broken limbs. Waking up doesn't make waterfalls flow uphill or prevent planets from colliding. Stuff still keeps ticking over, per the laws of death, and there is no hope here.

This is essentially the crux of the matter. The belief that there is hope, faith, trust, in the ego and its death world. That it has a redeeming quality, some possibility of being heaven or home, and a chance of escape from God. It's this wishful thinking that just maybe, you can get away with murder, just maybe you can be God, and just maybe you can overthrow the Kingdom and prove the Son of God is dead. Or that this world can be perfect. But you can't. And you never will. So the whole endeavor is pointless.

There is no hope in the world. Hope is of God. There is only hop because the wrold is NOT real and its illusions of hell are fictional WHEN RECOGNIZED. If you want hope, you have to look beyond the world, and forget the world and all its twisted ways. We can but recognize the world's limitations and laugh at them. The world will end in laughter because it is a place of sorrow. In laughter we will shine it away because of its fundamentally unhappy nature. The world will never be your home. You do not belong in hell.

Is it not far saner to recognize and accept that no matter what you do in this world, its laws will steer it towards failure? Because if you expect the opposite, you will be disappointed, again and again and again. This does not mean there is no hope at all. Only that trying to find it where it is not, cannot work. God and His Kingdom are your only home and your only happiness.

"The thing to do with a desert is to LEAVE."

"A Son of God is happy only when he knows he is WITH God. That is the only environment in which he will not experience strain, because that is where he belongs. It is also the only environment that is worthy of him, because his own worth is beyond ANYTHING that he can make."

"To be without a body is to be in your natural environment."

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way."

"There is no life outside of Heaven. 2 Where God created life, there life must be. 3 In any state apart from Heaven life is illusion. 4 At best it seems like life; at worst, like death. 5 Yet both are judgments on what is not life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning. 6 Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is not in Heaven is not anywhere. 7 Outside of Heaven, only the conflict of illusion stands; senseless, impossible and beyond all reason, and yet perceived as an eternal barrier to Heaven. 8 Illusions are but forms. 9 Their content is never true.

T-23.II.20. The laws of chaos govern all illusions. 2 Their forms conflict, making it seem quite possible to value some above the others. 3 Yet each one rests as surely on the belief the laws of chaos are the laws of order as do the others. 4 Each one upholds these laws completely, offering a certain witness that these laws are true. 5 The seeming gentler forms of the attack are no less certain in their witnessing, or their results. 6 Certain it is illusions will bring fear because of the beliefs that they imply, not for their form. 7 And lack of faith in love, in any form, attests to chaos as reality.

T-23.II.21. From the belief in sin, the faith in chaos must follow. 2 It is because it follows that it seems to be a logical conclusion; a valid step in ordered thought. 3 The steps to chaos do follow neatly from their starting point. 4 Each is a different form in the progression of truth's reversal, leading still deeper into terror and away from truth. 5 Think not one step is smaller than another, nor that return from one is easier. 6 The whole descent from Heaven lies in each one. 7 And where your thinking starts, there must it end.

T-23.II.22. Brother, take not one step in the descent to hell. 2 For having taken one, you will not recognize the rest for what they are. 3 And they will follow. 4 Attack in any form has placed your foot upon the twisted stairway that leads from Heaven. 5 Yet any instant it is possible to have all this undone. 6 How can you know whether you chose the stairs to Heaven or the way to hell? 7 Quite easily. 8 How do you feel? 9 Is peace in your awareness? 10 Are you certain which way you go? 11 And are you sure the goal of Heaven can be reached? 12 If not, you walk alone. 13 Ask, then, your Friend to join with you, and give you certainty of where you go."

Most people feel some sense of unworthiness. Some people feel it very strongly. Unworthiness means you do not believe you deserve to be loved. You're not good enough or smart enough or perfect enough or something enough. There is something lacking about you, something missing or something wrong with you. Something which proves that you can't and shouldn't be loved.

That which you believe is true and real, you will accept and allow and agree with. If you believe that something is wrong with you, that you are guilty or a sinner or are ashamed or remorseful about something that happened, even if you are upset about it you will believe that you deserve what you are experiencing. Whatever you accept as true, you will believe you are worthy of. Worthiness, deserving, entitlement, all correlates to what you accept and therefore allow and agree with.

If you do not feel worthy of love and forgiveness, it is because you believe you ARE worthy of something else. It means you believe that guilt is real. Believing in guilt means you accept that you are guilty, you agree that you are guilty, you believe that you should be punished and not loved, and will agree with anyone who comes along to punish you for you, ultimately on your behalf. Even if it hurts, you will not stop them, because you yourself believe that you are worthy of it.

When you are feeling unworthy or less than wholly lovable, you will experience some form of victimhood. You'll see yourself as unfairly treated, that what you are experiencing is not what you want, that you wish you could have a "do-over" and fix what you did, and that you feel deeply bad about what happened. These feelings seem very genuine.

In particular, feeling very bad about yourself, unworthy of love or attention or credit, feels very sad and depressing and unhappy. It makes you feel as though you are weak and have no power. Maybe someone took your power away. You see yourself as helpless and suffering.

It simultaneously will seem as though someone else has power over you. Someone else was hurt, or someone else attacked you, or someone else decided you are not good enough by not treating you well. Someone else has more than you, and you have less. You don't measure up, you fall short of the standard, you're not man or woman enough, or something is just lacking about you. These experiences are a perception of you being a victim. It seems so unfair, it seems so un-asked for, it seems like what you do not want. No-one seems to love you and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it.

Perhaps there is even something about you physically, mentally or emotionally which seems to be hideous or unacceptable or just not good enough that anyone would love it. Overweight? Underweight? Ugly? Bad hair? Pimples? Poor clothing? The wrong kind of physique? A strange voice? The list goes on of all the reasons why someone would not love you.

In this state of mind, there doesn't SEEM to be anything that you are doing to put yourself into this situation. It seems deserved. It seems like there is no way out and nothing you can do to change it. You WISH that it would not be this way, but you do not see a way out. You don't see how you can escape this, and instead have to avoid the people who judge you and who have decided for you that you are a sinner.

The experience and feelings that go along with this unworthiness or guilt can be deep and profound. You can feel really awful about yourself. You can feel as though God wouldn't love you, no-one would love you and nobody wants you. It seems tragic. You just seem to want someone to come along and rescue you or be a friend or side with you or whatever. But they don't show up. Funny that.

All of these feelings are unpleasant and seem to suggest there is nothing you are doing to put them in place, that you are trying so hard to get out of it and that you just feel really bad about what you did or what you are. It SEEMS like you do not want this, that your guilt is genuine, you feel really awful about what you did, and it seemed so real, you actually caused someone or God to be hurt and it's had a real effect and someone got damaged and there's just no way to undo it.

So now you're stuck feeling guilty, and you deserve it, but your feeling of guilt is almost like a plea for forgiveness or a wish that someone else will forgive you for you. It feels as though you feel really really bad for doing something wrong, a kind of remorse, as though you recognize clearly that it was not the right thing to do, and just feel terrible about it.

But what we now need to address is the fact that all of this is bullshit. There are illusions at play here. There is denial. There is unconscious material which is not being admitted to. There are cover-ups taking place. There is dishonesty. There is irresponsibility. And there are ego devices in place that actually have a hidden agenda and purpose for all of these feelings, which you at first will not want to admit to.

The suggestion that you in ANY way might be using this guilt, remorse, shame or unworthiness for a secret purpose, that you actually might want it to be happening because you're getting some kind of benefit from it, will initially be experienced as a slap in the face. It will seem like a blasphemy, which will trigger you to react with "how could you say that" and "how dare you" as though this is completely the opposite of what you're experiencing. It will seem insensitive.

The problem is that your mind has placed itself into a perceptual experience of being a victim and is very confused and deluded and simply does not see the truth. It does not recognize what it is doing or how it is using unworthiness on purpose. It doesn't want to admit the truth and sees the truth as a threat or offense or attack.

This is simply because, whatever your scope of awareness is right now, which you will believe is full and whole but really isn't, determines what information you have and what facts you are aware of. Although your perception is limited, you see yourself as being aware of everything there is to be aware of, because your awareness only shows you what is within its range right now and anything outside of it seems not to exist. You may not even suspect that there is more to this than meets the eye.

Because of this, based on the evidence you ARE aware of, you will simply conclude (erroneously) that it does not SEEM as though you want to be guilty, it does not look as though you are choosing this on purpose, and you are ONLY aware of the seeming causes of this unworthiness and the consequences it produced, ie the justification for WHY you feel guilty, and the explanation for why it is both logical and sensible to feel this way.

For example if you are aware that someone did something to you, seeming to cause you to feel ashamed, and you see no other causes, you will sensibly conclude that you feel this way because of what they did to you. But this doesn't mean this is the truth or the real reason why you feel this way. There is more truth that is outside your awareness which you haven't admitted to yet.

Or if you did something yourself, you sinned, and thus you feel guilty and ashamed, you will conclude that you're supposed to feel this way because what you did was awful, and therefore it is justified and normal. People refer to this as your "guilty conscience", as though you have this "conscience" which regulates and honestly perceives whether what you do is good or bad at all times. However, only the ego has a guilty conscience, and the conscience has absolutely nothing to do with truth. It is purely based on judgement and ego-based errors in perception, denial and an unwillingness to admit the real truth.

Guilt will always feel as though it is genuine and heartfelt and that you are truly sorry and feel bad about what you did. That is its purpose. It is meant to make you experience in this way. It is, however, a very effective cover-up for a deeper experience which is completely opposite. There are some facts which you are unaware of which would show you that your guilt is actually not pure and sacred and sincere. There are some facts which would reveal that your guilt is actually a device for further sinning and for increasing separation.

When you make-believe separation and move into sin - the belief that separation really has happened in reality - you are believing that you committed an act of murder. Such an act does not happen "by accident". It is deliberate, intentional, pre-meditated destruction. It was on purpose, you wanted it, and you chose it. The whole reason for sin originally was to establish separation from God SO THAT you could go off by yourself and pretend to have your own separate existence, be ruler of your own universe and act like God without God.

There was nothing accidental about that, you didn't do it "by mistake", and it wasn't a cosmic "oops". It was vicious, it was an attack, and according to your belief in sin, which you WANT to believe, it produced a tremendous amount of "real" consequences such as that God has been changed, God has been hurt, God is justified in getting revenge, and you now have no option other than to go off by yourself and hide in a corner.

The purpose of the original sin was to bring about a separation from God and therefore from yourself. It required you to disown yourself. Sin was an attempt to disown yourself by destroying yourself and what you are. Following sin, based on the logic of separation which naturally proceeds all the way to death, you CONTINUED to implement a "getting rid of what I am" mentality. This led to the invention of guilt as a cover-up story.

To disown yourself and to be less responsible for choosing and for who and what you are, you invented guilt as if to say, you didn't REALLY mean to sin, you didn't want to do it, it sort of happened on its own, or God abandoned you or cast you out of Heaven, or it happened to you against your will, or, having really hurt God you now feel sorry that you did it. It's as though you have had a change of heart! Suddenly you enter into this guilt as if to say, I'm really sorry that I did that, I wish I could take it back. But this is a total lie.

Guilt is a layer of denial. It represses the fact that you DID want to sin and you did want to be separate. It covers up the very deliberate choice that you made with an ILLUSION of you seeming as though you couldn't possibly have wanted this. You sinned, you attacked, and then all of a sudden... what did I do? How could I do this? What was I thinking?

Well... this shift may on the surface APPEAR to indicate that you did not want to sin and regret it, but this is not at all genuine. You did want to sin and you will do everything in your power to KEEP the sin in place and never question it and never attempt to be open to the possibility that it can be healed or undone or that it never happened. You never want to let sin be threatened.

Therefore you have to build this fictional illusion that you do not want sin, which actually is an act of further separation. You look at the sin and you try to get rid of it, just like you tried to get rid of God. You separate yourself off from it, judge it, attack it, and tell yourself that it and you have nothing in common. The movement from separation to sin is exactly the same motive, purpose, and goal, as the movement from sin to guilt.

In terms of illusions, the appearance of them as if they are true will tell you, no no, I didn't really want to sin... it was a mistake, I didn't realize what would come of it. Bullshit to that. You actually did know and you chose it and tried to MAKE it happen. And now you then cover this up with a facade of guilt as if you couldn't possibly have wanted this. But this pretend remorse really covers up the fact that you are USING guilt now as a device for not only keeping the sin in place, continuing to believe it cannot ever be changed, but also as a way of disowning it and yourself.

Guilt causes sin to go unconscious. It is your attempt to shut sin out of your awareness and pretend that you do not want it. Your not wanting of something is an attack, using a device of separation to get rid of something. It worked for you to get rid of God, and now again it works for you to get rid of sin. By being guilty and SEEMING to be all ashamed and unworthy and nobody-can-love-me-now, you paint a picture of the reasons WHY sin cannot be undone and WHY guilt is justified, making guilt the truth and protecting sin from healing.

Having blocked out sin, which is the sole cause of guilt, your mind will no longer be aware of the sense of sin. Instead, your conscious awareness only remains aware of this new fictional guilt that you invented - fake guilt, not real guilt. It is not genuine guilt, it is not honest guilt, it is not true guilt, it is completely artificial and a lie. But being unaware of the sin that came before it, guilt is now squarely in your conscious awareness and seems to be the truth to you.

Guilt explains why you should be punished. Guilt also explains that sin cannot ever be undone. It justifies keeping the sin, pushing it into the past, as though it's done and over with, and can never be changed. It puts the decision-maker or cause of why you are guilty outside of yourself, so that you do not appear to be the one who decided to invent the guilt in the first place.

You are guilty because of "what you did to God" or you are guilty because of "how you hurt another person". Their hurt, their suffering, is used as the justification for why you should be guilty, and because you believe (through sin) that their suffering is real, you see it as the cause of your guilt. Lo and behold, you have successfully disowned the power and honesty and choice of being the one who put the guilt in place, and will now come across consciously as NOT being the one who wanted any of this.

In the guilt you'll put on this performance, this sob-story, about how you don't want to feel this way, you wish it never happened, it was unfair, someone else made this happen, you didn't choose it, if you could do something to undo it you would - EXCEPT FOR what would actually undo it - we won't let ourselves go there, believing that because it was a sin in the past it is a given - irreversible and never to be questioned. Anything but that.

Since you then believe you are guilty, you will believe you do not deserve forgiveness. To forgive would mean to UNDO the guilt and question whether you sinned. You do not want that and you have no intention whatsoever of ever going there to look at that. You want to stay as far away from the sin as possible, which is what makes it unconscious. If you do not deserve to undo sin or be loved ever again, you now believe you are not worthy of love.

It is through your own belief that you are guilty, which is you agreeing that you should be guilty, that you will accept and allow the guilt, even if on the surface you will experience it as unwanted. From inside of the guilt, from inside the unworthiness, which means that you are blocked from being aware of love by a barrier of denial, it will SEEM as though this is just a horrible experience that you would never want to choose... because you do not SEE that you did choose it, OR that you chose it on purpose for a very "evil" intention of bringing about the death of the Son of God.

So then you'll experience that you are worthy of punishment and unlove and mis-treatment and being attacked and hurt, because you do not believe you deserve anything better. Your allegiance has to be somewhere, so if it's not to God, it's to the ego - the thought system of pain and suffering and death. Not much of a substitute, but it's your only choice. And secretly, it's what you wanted. Being closer aligned to the ego will allow you to further you plan, which has been in place since the start and never questioned, of becoming a separate individual in your own reality, where death is life and separation from God is absolutely true.

In this unworthiness you will feel powerless, helpless, victimized, profoundly "not wanting" this at all. Or do you? Secretly you do. You are getting away with murder. You wouldn't feel guilty unless you believed that sin is real. Guilt keeps sin real. You wouldn't believe you deserve to suffer and die unless you believed guilt was justified and therefore that you should be punished.

You might seem on the illusory surface not to want the suffering at all, to be not choosing it at all, to be completely averse and horrified and terrified about what is going to happen to you, but this also is a huge bullshit lie. You are deliberately positioning yourself to suffer SO THAT you can continue your plan of separation and death and keep justifying why the Son of God should die.

The more that separation is implemented the more there will seem to be this huge rift between what you APPEAR to be wanting, versus what you are secretly really wanting. And since the ego is a split mind, always there will be a conscious self-will which seems to not want to suffer or be guilty or upset in any way, but there will be an unconscious self-will which is constantly trying to bring about death and disaster.

You actually believe you deserve to die, because of what you did. And you want to believe it. Death is what you want. It's what this entire dream is all about - you choosing death over life, ego over God. And isn't it strange how you flipped from attempted murder of God and His Son, to suddenly now seeming like a victim? Like you went from being the victimizer, to being the one who is being victimized?

Isn't that like a perfect cover-up for a victimizer, to portray themselves as innocent, to show themselves as being the least likely to sin, to fake their own helpless death (suicide) in order to prove that they are so powerless that it couldn't possibly have been them who did it? Their secret sin and hidden hate goes to the grave with them, and is the reason they go there. Who would suspect the most innocent-seeming person of hiding a malice against God which has attempted to destroy all of Creation? Who would suspect someone who is so powerless, helpless, hopeless, weak, afraid, suffering and unfairly treated by life?

It's the perfect cover. It's the perfect mechanism of denial, layer upon layer of projection, disownership, displacement of blame, irresponsibility, pretending to have no choice, and picturing yourself as the least likely one to have sinned. We're all playing this game of who can seem to die without anyone suspecting that they wanted God to be dead. It's the desire to want God to be dead which CAUSES you to die.

So yes, you can feel guilty, ashamed, remorseful and unworthy, and these can seem like such unfair, un-asked for, unwanted experiences. But we have to get very honest here if we want to actually have a chance of being set free by the truth - any hope in hell of actually being forgiven and for this whole mess to go away.

We have to be willing to admit that our guilt is not genuine guilt, or real guilt, or truthful guilt. It is fake guilt, denial, and a cover-story for something even worse. We have to admit also that our feeling of unworthiness is a tremendous cover-story once again for how we couldn't possibly want any of this, life is totally unfair, other people have been really judgemental and mean and accusatory, and how we "don't deserve this".

Those who feel unworthy will be constantly saying "I don't deserve this". Bullshit! This is the conscious ego persona claiming that it doesn't believe you deserve this, and that you are just trying to preserve your integrity and innocence, while unconsciously the ego shadow is hell-bent on staying as unworthy as possible.

You are fundamentally worthy of God's unconditional love all the time forever. But if you can position yourself as unworthy and justify why you are unworthy, this will seem to "explain" why and how you should not be loved by God. But isn't this just another way for you to attempt to assert that you CANNOT be loved? If you cannot be loved, guess what that means? It means that you have STOPPED GOD. And what's another word for stopping God? Murder.

So your unworthiness will be all sorrowful and you'll feel like you didn't ask for it and you don't want to be this way. But you do. You have to own up to that if you want to be free. And typically those who are in a victim mindset will NOT want to ACTUALLY take the steps necessary in order to undo the real problem. They will make HUGE amounts of noise about their desire to have this go away, how they don't want to suffer, and complain extensively about how unfair this all is, but the one key thing that they need to DO to ACTUALLY solve this problem - the undoing of separation and sin, they will avoid at all costs.

And so when you listen to a victimy person, you will notice that they are forever staying paralyzed, they are always staying exactly where they are, keeping all of their problems, keeping all of their suffering, but making huge screeching noises about how they want this to go away. They don't want it to go away. The one thing that would undo it, they do not want. Anything else they want, any other possible pathway or solution or answer they will be open to, but not the undoing of the unworthiness.

How are you going to be able to maintain that God cannot love, and therefore God is not love, and therefore God has no power to love you, and therefore you have power OVER God, unless you assert strongly that you cannot be loved? Your unworthiness is an authority problem. It is arrogance. It is you trying to stop God from loving. You justify it with guilt. You support it with an explanation of having sinned. You want to KEEP all of the ways that justify you being attacked and hurt and rejected and punished, because it allows you to GET AWAY WITH MURDER.

Your rejection of God's love, because you "don't deserve it", is bullshit. It is not true. You DO deserve God's love. You do not WANT to admit to deserving God's love. Your unwillingness to admit that you are USING your unlovability as a weapon, is keeping you in the dark and maintaining your agenda of death. Oh, poor me, I guess I sinned too much, I'm too guilty, God, you might as well not love me, just pass me by and go love someone else, you're really better off not loving me anyway, you wouldn't want to love someone like me, I'm SAVING YOU from unnecessary unjustified love and hurt by me turning away from you.

And so this unworthiness is really a denial of love and an attempt to explain why you should not be loved. Not that you cannot be, but that you should not be. And you will explain that because of your sinfulness, because of your guilt, you really do not DESERVE the love - that you're doing love a favor by saving love from having to love you. You believe the love will not WORK and that therefore you would be causing love to waste its efforts. Or in other words, your deserving to die comes from your attempt to make God die by stopping God's love from extending, ceasing the extension of Life.

It's almost like an admittance that you hurt someone so bad that they really should not love you, they shouldn't even try to, because they would be wasting their love unnecessarily and that you are saving them from this additional loss by not being worthy. So now you are God's savior, which makes your ego happy. So long a you stay unworthy, which SEEMS to be the illusion of wanting to be loved so badly, wanting to be forgiven, wanting to be seen as worthy, it REALLY is an attempt to do the exact opposite - to reject love as much as possible.

If God is permanently loving then you have to admit at some point that your belief in guilt and sin and unworthiness is YOUR belief. It is not God's view of you. You must also own up to and take responsibility for making the DECISION that you are guilty and unworthy, which reveals that you actually CHOSE it and put it in place on purpose, for a reason. You being responsible for all of this reveals the truth that every single part of what you are experiencing is a form of denial, is part of your ego plan, is untrue and dishonest.

You wanted to sin. You wanted to use guilt to cover up the sin and disown it. You wanted to be unworthy of love so that you could reject God. And you wanted to die to prove that God was dead. No-one else decided any of this for you. God didn't make it happen. It wasn't other people who caused you to be unlovable.

This is ALL part of your plan, every step of the way, and you wanted all of it. That means, that you have done this all to yourself, but it also means that therefore, if you change your mind and admit to the truth, you might STOP doing this to yourself and actually have a REAL HOPE of being free from this suffering. Unworthiness is hardly a joyful experience.

You will say you cannot forgive yourself for what you did. You do not want to. You don't believe in your innocence because you chose to believe that guilt is true. And not just because you did something really bad, but so that you could hide your sin and increase the attack on God.

Being guilty for murder is hardly a restoration of the state that existed prior to the murder, and guilt can hardly be said to be an atonement or compensation for attack. If you sin by attacking someone and its hurts them, what are you going to offer to them to compensate them? If you were to offer them love, healing, undoing of the sin, and reversal of all effects, that would be true "repentance". A miracle of healing would be true repentance. But you don't choose that. Instead you choose to go into guilt.

In this world, guilt has been terribly confused with love. People hurt those they "love" (but really don't) then go into guilt. Guilt is supposed to be some kind of position of being sorry, or remorse or regret, and then they will attempt to perform actions which make it up to the person, based on that guilt, as though that will atone for the sin. Guilt is not a gift, it's a slap in the face. It's an attempt to kick them while they're down. It's an attempt to save face. It is dishonest.

If you sin and hurt someone, the response from you should be that you RETURN TO LOVE, so that you can be as truly helpful as possible and heal the problem. And that person, IF they are in their right mind, should encourage you to return to love, through forgiveness, in order to RESTORE the state of innocence and invulnerability which seemed to be disrupted. Thus both of you are now better off. But if you instead move into guilt as your offering of atonement, you're really being selfish and are not atoning at all.

If the person you hurt is not in their right mind and has an ego agenda, they will likely seize the opportunity to notice that you made a mistake and, instead of forgiving you to help you to return to love, they will use this to get rid of some of their own sin and guilt. They will attack you, justifiably, accuse you, put you in the dog house, put limits on you, reject you from their "love", or generally separate from you as a justified punishment. This is a completely insane response and not in any way justified or honest or exhibiting integrity.

This is the ego's version of atonement, that you sinned so you must sacrifice in order to make up for it. You must lose something, you must be less loved, and you must give something away that you value and be at a loss, in order to "pay" for your crime. There is no justice when any Son of God is found to be guilty. Not only has one person been attacked, but now a second person has fallen from Grace and has entered into guilt. So now two people are suffering, which is hardly an improvement.

Being guilty and unworthy of forgiveness is exactly what your ego wants, and is exactly what it uses to pretend to be sorry about what happened. If you are TRULY regretful, you will return to love as quickly as possible, regain your sense of deserving love as quickly as possible, repair the "damage" by offering a miracle of healing, and give the TRUE GIFT of love. This will be a real atonement. This will undo the suffering and reverse the problem and restore peace. But the ego doesn't want that, and anyone with an ego will condemn and demand guilt as though it makes sense. It is insane.

Many forms of "love" are really guilt. Feeling guilty that you didn't do enough, feeling guilty that you hurt your loved one, feeling bad about not being able to help someone, feeling guilty that you caused someone to suffer or lack, etc... these are not positions of honesty or responsibility or repentance or atonement. These are positions of the ego using the situation to reinforce itself and increase separation and unconsciousness and death. And a "crime punishable by death" is the ultimate bullshit.

When someone makes a mistake, it must be innocent, because no-one in their innocent right mind deliberately sins. If it is a mistake, it is forgivable, calls for forgiveness and love and a restoration of communication and communion. It calls for even greater sharing and love, in order to correct the problem of the error in perception.

So at some point when you admit all this to yourself, you will have to learn to drop the entire "sob story" of how you are unworthy and guilty and ashamed and remorseful and regretful. None of these are genuine and every one of them is a dishonest plot to move you further towards death.

This "correct perception" of these perceptual errors allows you to RECOGNIZE these illusions as ego devices and not as truth. If you believe them then you have failed to recognize them, and they will remain. But illusions, when recognized for what they are REALLY doing, leads to their undoing and they must disappear. Therefore there is a healing and a release.

Yes, you feel like shit and unworthy of love, but.... do you want to keep spinning your wheels on this or... do you want an honest, real solution which will ACTUALLY repair the damage and heal you and set you free of this guilt and restore your worthiness for being loved? That is what forgiveness offers you. That is the escape from death that the truth offers you, if you are willing to own up to it.

Unworthy? Ashamed? Guilty? Mad at yourself for what you did? Self loathing? Low self-esteem? Bullshit!

You ARE permanently lovable, permanently worthy, permanently innocent, and permanently forgiven. Your self-hate is not justified. Your attempted self-destruction is not justified. Your guilt is unfounded. Your sadness is completely unfounded. Your fear of punishment is a total lie. And you have not really sinned at all.

God is very happy with you right now. Can you accept it as the truth? At least in your willingness to approach this truth, it may bring to light the ways that you are trying to believe the opposite, so that you can look at it honestly and let it go.

God loves you. Always has. Always will. And there is nothing that you need to "do" to make it up to Him or win Him over or convince Him of your innocence. You do not need to "atone" for a sin that you didn't really commit. You do not need to "atone" or "pay" for hurting God, because you haven't. You're just mistaken, and so long as you want to keep being mistaken God will STILL continue to love you unconditionally. At some time you will be ready to accept that, in truth, you deserve to be loved forever, and you are.

"Nothing you can do can turn me away, nothing anyone can say, 'cus I'm with you now and as long as you stay, loving you's the right thing to do, loving you is the right thing." - Carly Simon