I get this feeling that deciding on my own is not the right thing to do, given everything that's said about choosing not to decide, not doing it all on your own, etc. So then I feel torn.
But what I then see is that really, when I am in a state of indecision, fear, doubt, etc I am really not in a state of decisiveness. I probably am trying to decide, but I am not being decisive. And my attempts to decide are really delaying mechanisms to avoid the certainty of decision. In this state, I'm not really making any decisions at all anyway.
Pretty much every time Jesus says "decide", I am in a state of fear and self-doubt. I recognize then that staying in this state is not going to bring about any kind of decision, and if I want to become decisive, I have to get out of the fear.
Sometimes then, I will remark to Jesus that I don't know what to decide, and He will say, "you know". As I pull myself out of the fear and become more dynamic, more certain, more sure of myself, I then automatically feel more decisive and knowing and sure of what it is that I will do.
Then I have to even put aside this idea that I don't already know - that I even need to decide, and stop for a minute to become aware of what it is that I know already.
If I already know, a decision is not needed. If I already know, then I don't need to even get into the fearful drama of "not knowing" what to do. Then, somewhere deep inside, I tune into what it is that I know, and in this there is an acceptance, a peace and a clarity that makes it much more obvious what to do.
Usually knowing is covered up by all kinds of faffing about, doubting, fearing, drama, control, thinking, etc. None of it is really needed because it's actually all a distraction away from knowing. I can't know what to do when I'm choosing to be in a state of not-knowing. Seems so simple, but easy to get lost in.
As I go forward, and as I embark on new endeavors led by trusting Jesus etc, I find myself coming up against fears and concerns I didn't have to face before. Yet each step of the way He guides me to trust, to know, to put aside fear, and to recognize the ways that I am undermining my own certainty and decisiveness. In other words, learning to claim and work in a more empowered state of confidence.
I am finding that the more I am willing to put aside the dishonest toys of fear and self-sabotage, the more I am growing in confidence and strength and certainty. Also fear is reducing, people are growing ever-more approachable, and procrastination is melting.
This is how we gradually move into action. This is how we get off the fence and become truly helpful. And this is how we let go of the dependency on the ego as our guide as to how we should waste time.
We need to learn to be truly decisive, certain, knowing and trusting, before we might become actually willing to allow God to guide and direct us in all that we do. This somehow is tied into becoming willing to do His Will, and to follow Jesus's direction. But in a partnership of mutual agreement.
Consider for a moment, a definition of yourself, in which YOU CANNOT CHANGE. You are absolutely changeless. You exist always the same, fixed, absolute, certain, permanent. Something that never alters, adjusts, transforms. Something incapable of becoming anything, losing anything, having anything taken away from it, or added. Just the same, always and forever, always existing, always being, always you. Same old you since you were created.
Then with this is idea it being IMPOSSIBLE to experience change, consider the contrast this produces to all the forms of suffering in the world. Someone doing something to you, being affected, upset, made to feel this way or that, moved by the wind, affected by the environment, threatened by the politicians and the warmongers, altered by sickness, pushed around by health concerns etc. All of it... all forms of CHANGE. All things which say "I can change you and you will change whether you like it or not."
What are you and where do you stand and how are you able to play any of these games if YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE? If you cannot be changed by anything, you are invulnerable, immortal, eternal. Always perfect, always strong, always beyond the reach of every kind of influence, every force, every attack, every threat to your nature. You cannot change, you have never changed. You remain as God created you and always will be the same. So can you believe you have been changed, caused, forced, yet again, to become something you can never be?
"You were NOT born to die. You CANNOT change, because your Function HAS been fixed by God." UrT29G4
"Can YOU see guilt where God KNOWS there is perfect innocence? You can DENY His knowledge, but you CANNOT change it." UrT13C8
"You cannot be ANYWHERE that God did not put you, and God created you as part of HIM. That is both WHERE you are and WHAT you are. This is COMPLETELY unalterable. It is total inclusion. You cannot change this now or ever. It is forever true. It is NOT a belief, but a fact." UrT6C6
"In the longer practice period, we will think about your reality and its wholly unchanged and unchangeable nature." UrW67L2
"Now He can remind the world of sinlessness, the one unchanged, unchangeable condition of all that God created." UrM19A2
"Your Self is radiant in this holy joy, unchanged, unchanging and unchangeable forever and forever." UrW190L6
"As God created you, you must remain unchangeable with transitory states by definition false. And that includes all shifts in feeling, alterations in conditions of the body and the mind, in all awareness and in all response." UrW152L5
"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky. So high in Heaven is it set that those outside of Heaven know not it is there. But still and white and lovely will it shine through all eternity. There was no time it was not there. No instant when its light grew dimmer or less perfect ever was. Who knows the Father knows this light, for He is the eternal sky which holds it safe, forever lifted up and anchored sure." UrT30D8
"Only what God creates is irreversible and unchangeable. What YOU have made can always be changed, because when you do not think LIKE God, you have not really thought at all. Delusional ideas are NOT thought, but you CAN think that you believe in them." UrT5G11
The miracle abolishes the need for lower order concerns. Since it is an illogical, or out-of-pattern time interval, by definition, the ordinary considerations of time and space do not apply.
For example, I do NOT regard time as you and Bill do, and Kolb's space problem is NOT mine. When YOU perform a miracle, I will arrange both time and space to adjust to it.
Clear distinction between what HAS BEEN Created and what IS BEING created is essential. ALL forms of correction (or healing) rest on this FUNDAMENTAL correction in level perception.
Another way of stating 2) is: NEVER confuse right with wrong-mindedness. Responding to ANY form of miscreation with anything EXCEPT a DESIRE TO HEAL (or a miracle) is an expression of this confusion.
The miracle is ALWAYS a DENIAL of this error, and an affirmation of the truth. Only Right-Mindedness CAN create in a way that has any real effect. Pragmatically, what has no real effect, has no real existence. Its REAL effect, then, is emptiness. Being without substantial content, it lends itself to projection.
The level-adjustment power of the miracle creates the right perception for healing. Until this has occurred, healing cannot be understood. Forgiveness is an empty gesture, unless it entails correction. Without this, it is essentially judgmental, rather than healing.
Miraculous forgiveness is ONLY correction. It has no element of judgment at all. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" in NO way EVALUATES what they do. It is strictly limited to an appeal to God to HEAL their minds. There is no reference to the outcome of their misthought. THIS does not matter.
The Biblical injunction "Be of one mind" is the statement for REVELATION readiness. My OWN injunction "Do this in remembrance of me" is the request for cooperation in miracle-workers. It should be noted that the two statements are not in the same order of reality, because the latter involves a time awareness, since memory implies recalling the PAST in the present.
Time is under MY direction, but Timelessness belongs to God alone. In time, we exist for and with each other. In Timelessness, we coexist with God.
"The idea for today is, of course, the reason why a meaningless world is impossible. What God did not create does not exist. And everything that does exist exists as He created it. The world you see has nothing to do with reality. It is of your own making, and it does not exist."
Meaningfulness is of God. Meaning is reality. Love is meaningful. What God creates has meaning. It shares God's purpose. It's meaningful because it's full of genuine authentic value. It's what you really want because it means a lot to you. It's worth having. It what you were meant to have. It correlates to reality because it means what it really is without deception.
We're told in the course that this is a meaningless world - that we made a meaningless world. This means the world in and of itself has no value. We're also told that we have given it all the meaning it has by projecting meaning onto it. We're also told that we can extend God's meaning onto the world instead of the meanings we were giving it, which changes the meaning of the world.
When events transpire in the world, you might use the evidence the body provides to explain what is happening and what it means. You decide that it means something. This symptoms means this, those occurrences mean that. You come to conclusions in order to derive meaning from what you see. You then give what's happening this meaning. But you don't have to. The meaning isn't inherent to what's happening. Meaning is given it by you.
Jesus tells us that we've given the world all the meaning it has, and that if we will change our mind about what we value and believe, then it's going to change the meaning of the world. Meaning relates to what you value. What you value is what you want. What you want, you want to see. You then proceed to see it. What is it you are seeing? You are seeing meaning, projected onto the world, based on what value you want it to have. In other words, what you want it to mean to you.
In and of itself, the world has no meaning. We give it meaning. We can give it negative meaning, or we can give it love and see love in place of it. The love is meaningful. Love has within it God's meaningfulness. By giving love to what was made in hate, you change the world from a meaningless world into a meaningful world. Or at least, the love that you see in it is meaningful, because the world in and of itself is nothing.
What you want in life is meaning. You want meaningfulness. You want something of true value. You want worth. You want acknowledgement and heartfelt deep connection with genuine love. You want a purpose of love and joining. You want God.
""God did not create that war, and so it is not real."
"God did not create that airplane crash, and so it is not real."
"God did not create that disaster [specify], and so it is not real.""
""God did not create a meaningless world. He did not create [specify the situation which is disturbing you], and so it is not real.""
"WHAT IS THE RESURRECTION?
Very simply, the resurrection is the overcoming or surmounting of death. It is a reawakening or a rebirth; a change of mind about the meaning of the world. It is the acceptance of the Holy Spirit's interpretation of the world's purpose; the acceptance of the Atonement for oneself. It is the end of dreams of misery, and the glad awareness of the Holy Spirit's final dream. It is the recognition of the gifts of God. It is the dream in which the body functions perfectly, having no function except communication. It is the lesson in which learning ends, for it is consummated and surpassed with this. It is the invitation to God to take His final step. It is the relinquishment of all other purposes, all other interests, all other wishes and all other concerns. It is the single desire of the Son for the Father.
The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely. Life is now recognized as salvation, and pain and misery of any kind perceived as hell. Love is no longer feared, but gladly welcomed. Idols have disappeared, and the remembrance of God shines unimpeded across the world. Christ's face is seen in every living thing, and nothing is held in darkness, apart from the light of forgiveness. There is no sorrow still upon the earth. The joy of Heaven has come upon it.
Here the curriculum ends."
Yesterday was quite a breakthrough. After making a video about immortality and writing a long post about how fear is self attack, Holy Spirit invited me to "practice" the ideas during a visit to a doctor. Usually at these visits (for another person) I pick up all kinds of anxiety and have reactions and fear thoughts.
So what I did was, remembered that every single fearful thought is in fact my attempt to attack myself, and attack others. Every fear thought is actually me trying to undermine my immortality. Every fearful idea or response, whether it's mine or not, is an attempt to get rid of, push away, attack, myself and others.
So as I sat there, and as fear thoughts started popping in, I instantly saw.... hey, that's me attacking myself. That's me trying to attack. And it completely diffused the thought in a split-second, made it disappear, and didn't allow it to "progress" or linger. I felt empowered because I realized that I was doing all of this fearing TO MYSELF, and I did not have to do that. It turned out to be the calmest, easiest, most relaxed visit ever. Total success.
Because you see, while I think that fear is "just fear" and it's justified or caused by external things, I'm not really being aware of what's happening. If I reframe it that fear is actually an attempt to attack (e.g. my attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability, and fear is an attack thought), then I'm much more compelled to not do that.
I mean, if you realize that fear is actually you attacking, yourself and others, and you don't want to attack yourself or others, perhaps even because you would feel guilty about doing so, and if you realize that your fearing is you attacking, then you become motivated in quite a different way. It's now about not wanting to be a murderous asshole towards yourself and others, instead of it seeming to be about you being just some victim that is entirely affected by others doing stuff to YOU, and not the other way around. When you are afraid, YOU are the one doing the attacking!
So it's a complete reversal of cause and effect. It acknowledges that fear is coming OUT of you, towards the situation, towards other people, and NOT that the fear is being caused from the outside in. And that really is the secret of salvation. Because it then suddenly becomes starkly obvious that you are doing the fear to yourself. You are literally attacking your invulnerability with your fearful thought. You are trying to undermine, weaken, overthrow, get rid of, diminish or destroy your immortality. And you don't want to do that.
The reframing of fear as "attack coming from me" is very very useful as a tool. Because it has truth in it. Fear actually IS coming from you. It IS your attempt to separate. It's your attempt to push things away (which is attack/murder). It's your attempt to stop things (which is attack/murder). It's your attempt to 'kill off' the thing that you perceive as a threat.
All of the sense you have that you are "afraid of" something and "want it to go away" or "want it to stop", if you look at it, is really you trying to destroy it. You want to get rid of it. That's murderous thinking. You want it to end. That's an attempt to end life. Resistance isn't passive, or a defense, it's an attack. And similarly, "if I defend myself I am attacked". Fear seems like a defense, a protective mechanism. It's not, it's totally a weapon.
And in fact you will hear stories from some people as to how 'fearing' caused someone else to suffer. How being anxious and doubtful and uncertain and concerned and worrying about someone, actually sends nasty psychic attack vibes to them. These kind of thoughts are actually attacks. They're attempts to picture someone as weak and suffering and vulnerable and threatened. It's a belief that there's something wrong with them, they're sinful, they're capable of being hurt, and this "fake concern" is entirely an ego thing. A weapon of attack disguised as "caring".
The opposite of being concerned about someone and telling them "be careful you don't...." or "try not to"... etc... is to EMPOWER them, to support their integrity and strength, to affirm why they are confident and fearless and will prevail. To focus on their strength, not their potential weakness. That's empowering, and it's totally the opposite of what can pass for "caring" in the form of worries and fears and "concerns". Concern is fear, full stop. Concern is seriousness. Seriousness is attack. And fear is an attempt NOT to acknowledge someone's immortality, but to deny it and make the person weak.
It's very eye opening. The way I felt lighter, brighter, stronger, fearless, and more tranquil after nipping all these self-attack fear thoughts in the bud, was a reward in itself. Definitely something to keep applying. I had like 10 fear-driven attack thoughts before breakfast this morning. I had to re-frame every one of them as attempts to attack myself, and to stop doing so. I had no idea just how many of my thoughts are attack thoughts. It seems that almost all of them are driven by fear. And every one of them is my attempt to prove I am not immortal.
Sometimes in teaching there is benefit, particularly after you have gone through what seems theoretical and quite remote from what the student has already learned, to bring him back to practical concerns. This we will do today. We will not speak of lofty, world-encompassing ideas, but dwell instead on benefits to you.
You do not ask too much of life, but far too little. When you let your mind be drawn to bodily concerns, to things you buy, to eminence as valued by the world, you ask for sorrow, not for happiness. This course does not attempt to take from you the little that you have. It does not try to substitute utopian ideas for satisfactions which the world contains. There are no satisfactions in the world.
Today we list the real criteria by which to test all things you think you want. Unless they meet these sound requirements, they are not worth desiring at all, for they can but replace what offers more. The laws which govern choice you cannot make, no more than you can make alternatives from which to choose. The choosing you can do; indeed you must. But it is wise to learn the laws you set in motion when you choose, and what alternatives you choose between.
We have already stressed there are but two, however many there appear to be. The range is set, and this we cannot change. It would be most ungenerous to you to let alternatives be limitless, and thus delay your final choice until you had considered all of them in time, and not been brought so clearly to the place where there is but one choice which must be made.
Another kindly and related law is that there is no compromise in what your choice must bring. It cannot give you just a little, for there is no in between. Each choice you make brings everything to you or nothing. Therefore, if you learn the tests by which you can distinguish everything from nothing, you will make the better choice.
First, if you choose a thing that will not last forever, what you chose is valueless. A temporary value is without all value. Time can never take away a value that is real. What fades and dies was never there, and makes no offering to him who chooses it. He is deceived by nothing in a form he thinks he likes.
Next, if you choose to take a thing away from someone else, you will have nothing left. This is because when you deny his right to everything, you have denied your own. You therefore will not recognize the things you really have, denying they are there. Who seeks to take away has been deceived by the belief that loss can offer gain. Yet loss must offer loss and nothing more.
Your next consideration is the one on which the others rest. Why is the choice you make of value to you? What attracts your mind to it? What purpose does it serve? Here it is easiest of all to be deceived, for what the ego wants it fails to recognize. It does not even tell the truth as it perceives it, for it needs to keep the halo which it uses to protect its goals from tarnish and from rust, that you may see how "innocent" it is.
Yet is its camouflage a thin veneer which could deceive but those who are content to be deceived. Its goals are obvious to anyone who cares to look for them. Here is deception doubled, for the one who is deceived will not perceive that he has merely failed to gain. He will believe that he has served the ego's hidden goals.
And though he tries to keep its halo clear within his vision, yet must he perceive its tarnished edges and its rusted core. His ineffectual mistakes appear as sins to him because he looks upon the tarnish as his own, the rust a sign of deep unworthiness within himself. He who would still preserve the ego's goals and serve them as his own makes no mistakes according to the dictates of his guide. This guidance teaches it is error to believe that sins are but mistakes, for who would suffer for his sins if this were so?
And so we come to the criterion for choice which is the hardest to believe, because its obviousness is overlaid with many levels of obscurity. If you feel any guilt about your choice, you have allowed the ego's goals to come between the real alternatives, and thus you do not realize there are but two. And the alternative you think you chose seems fearful and too dangerous to be the nothingness it actually is.
All things are valuable or valueless, worthy or not of being sought at all, entirely desirable or not worth the slightest effort to obtain. Choosing is easy just because of this. Complexity is nothing but a screen of smoke which hides the very simple fact that no decision can be difficult. What is the gain to you in learning this? It is far more than merely letting you make choices easily and without pain.
Heaven Itself is reached by empty hands and open minds, which come with nothing to find everything and claim it as their own. We will attempt to reach this state today, with self-deception laid aside, and with an honest willingness to value but the truly valuable and the real.
Our two extended practice periods of fifteen minutes will begin with this:
"I will not value what is valueless,
And only what has value do I seek,
For only that do I desire to find."
And then receive what waits for everyone who reaches, unencumbered, to the gate of Heaven, which swings open as he comes. Should you begin to let yourself collect some needless burdens, or believe you see some difficult decisions facing you, be quick to answer with this simple thought:
"I will not value what is valueless,
For what is valuable belongs to me."
"A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct. This sense of separation would never have arisen if you had not distorted your perception of truth, and had thus perceived yourself as lacking."
Let's be clear. Every single manifestation of form in this world, all problems, all upsets and conflicts, every single sickness, all forms of "life" and death, every event, all people in all bodies, all creatures, all planets, every single civilization, all of time and space... absolutely all of this is a SYMPTOM of lacking God. ie being separate from God.
There is not "God over here" and "a world of problems over there". The world and its problems are not distinct problems, or many problems. Nor are they just random problems or nothing to do with your relationship with God.
EVERY form of matter, every event in time, every spatial relationship, is a symptom of attempting to be without God.
All of these things are built from lack. They are all based on the idea of lacking love. This ENTIRE UNIVERSE, is a picture of the attempted crucifixion of God's Son. Or to put it another way, this entire universe is what we will seem to experience when we try to reject God.
There is absolutely no exception to this. There are not random things in the world that have "other reasons" for existing. There are no sicknesses which have come about for "other reasons". There is no death that happens because of circumstances or free-willed events outside of this one problem.
The separation from God is THE ONLY PROBLEM in this entire universe, and it is the source and explanation for everything in this universe.
This also tells us what the solution is, and what the solution is going to "do". See, the problem is only one problem - believing you are not with God. The solution is coming to recognize this is not true and that you are with God and never left. What's going to happen to all of the SYMPTOMS of separation, when the separation has ended? What's going to happen to the EFFECTS of lack and being without God, on a universal scale - absolutely massive scale, when you return to God?
All of these things are going to DISAPPEAR.
These problems are not going to disappear merely as the result of finding answers or figuring out how to fix broken stuff or building a better toolkit or whatever else. There IS only one problem - separation. When THAT problem is fixed, every other symptom and consequence of this wrong decision will be undone completely by the Holy Spirit.
So let's put it this way. Every sickness in the world is actually being fed by and based on and coming from and symptomatic of, the absence of God. That's the ONLY cause.
Every death that occurs, is entirely related to the attempt to be separate from Life, from God, and to prove there is no God. When this is disproved, what's going to happen to death? It will be undone completely. This is the resurrection.
Every war, every argument, every upset, every mistrust, every state of suffering and lack, every lack and emptiness, is all the absence of God. Period. There is no other lack and no other problem.
All of the FORMS of problems, are designed by ego as illusions, to try to trick you to believing that not only are there many very different problems, but also separation from God is not the problem.
While you're fixated on fixing the leaky pipes in your kitchen, you're probably not noticing that it's got anything whatsoever to do with being away from God. While you're trying to do your taxes, you're probably unaware of the fact that there would be no taxes without separation from God. When you're struggling with a relationship, thinking it's all about the two of you and nothing else, you may not realize it's entirely about how you are failing to relate fully with God.
There is NO PROBLEM in this world, and NO WORLD, other than "within" the BELIEF, that you are separate from God.
Returning to God solves every problem. "There is no problem that trust would not solve now".
Lesson 109 "I rest in God" : ""I rest in God." Completely undismayed, this thought will carry you through storms and strife, past misery and pain, past loss and death, and onward to the certainty of God. There is no suffering it cannot heal. There is no problem that it cannot solve. And no appearance but will turn to truth before the eyes of you who rest in God."
Apparently according to Jesus, if you simply be in God all your problems are solved! It's true.
If you have a bunch of fears, doubts, questions, concerns, worries, and you go try to commune with God for a while... if you let God in even a little bit, if you sense love even a little bit, you might notice something. All your questions vanish. Why?
Why didn't you get your important questions answered with what seem to be the answers or form of answers you were anticipating were needed? Because the questions themselves were the problem. The questions were arising out of a lack of God. They were forms of fear, coming from believing God does not love you. When you receive God's love, you have no NEED for the questions anymore. It all just vanishes.
Love is the answer. Love is all that you need. Love can solve everything. Love is the answer given by God, as the Holy Spirit. It literally is the solution to all separation, and is the solution to this ENTIRE universe, because it literally UNDEOS this entire universe. This whole universe is based on and is the expression of the belief in separation being real. When recognized as unreal, this universe simply has to vanish. ie be recognized as having never really existed.
This is the meaning also of "there is no world". There is no universe here. Only God's creation of Heaven is real. This is why this universe is going to "disappear", ie be recognized as having never really existed at all. It's purely an illusion and an hallucination.
There is nothing in the world that cannot be solved by God. There is nothing in the world that God cannot heal. There is nothing in the world with the power to stop the Son of God from returning to happiness and health. There is nothing in the world capable of preventing the undoing of the universe, because it is God's will that you be with Him forever. And you are.
"Perhaps there is a fear of failure and shame associated with a sense of inadequacy."
"As long as you perceive the body as your reality, so long will you perceive yourself as lonely and deprived. And so long will you also perceive yourself as a victim of sacrifice, justified in sacrificing others."
If there is some way that you are found, or find yourself to be, not equal, it will induce a sense of inadequacy. This is based on a perceive lack of value or worth. And this in turn will induce a feeling of shame and unworthiness.
Whatever is considered the ideal, or the optimum or best way to be, if you do not "measure up", or you are evaluated to be less than or lacking, this inadequacy will present shameful feelings. As if you are lacking something.
Ultimately if you look at the body, the body was made on purpose to limit you, confine you, define you as very restricted, with only a small handful of abilities. It can only move so fast, perform so good, look so attractive, etc. If you identify with a body, you fundamentally identify with being inadequate. Which produces automatic shame.
So anyone who has identified with a body is automatically grandfathered in to feeling a sense of shame and unworthiness. Because no body, no matter how great it seems to be, is free of limitations. And every body was made from the idea of imperfection and is inehrently inadequate.
It doesn't therefore matter how beautiful you make it look, how much muscle you build, how tall and hansom it is, how fair and lovely, it can never fully represent your perfection. It can never be "good enough". So if you think of it as your self, and you take personally anything about it, you are doomed to find yourself not good enough.No-one who believes they are a body can be satisfied with their "self image". Even those who believe their body is god-like and fantastic, must at some level suspect their flawed and limited nature. Any amount of body identification is going to condemn you as less than whole and less than perfect.
Sometimes also the things that bodies do, or the we use them for, fall far short of perfection. And that means that almost everything we do with them is prone to result in a judgement of inadequacy. It doesn't even matter if you try to be proud of it or pleased with it or amazed by its greatness, these are all forms of denial of the inherent limitation and lack that the body represents.
There is also a fear of failure that automatically must be present for anyone who considers themselves a body. Since it is recognized how limited you are, that you do not know how to do something, or be guaranteed to do it perfectly, it presents an inherent recognition that it WILL fail to some degree. And this induces fear. So the inadequate and the shameful are afraid of failure, knowing that they ARE a failure, having identified with failure.
The only way to transcend inadequacy and be fully released from shame, is to embrace your REAL perfection, which is your spirit. To be spirit identified is to overcome all limitation and thus all inability, insufficiency and incapability. There can be no grounds for shame in owning up to being immortal and divine.
"This perception places you in a position in which your problem solving must be inadequate, and failure must be inevitable. ""Being unable to love, the ego would be totally inadequate in Love's presence, for it could not respond at all. You would HAVE to abandon its guidance, for it would be quite apparent that it had not taught you the response pattern you NEED."
"But the means are tedious and very time consuming, for all of them LOOK TO THE FUTURE for release from a state of present unworthiness and inadequacy."
"God is the strength in which I trust. Now try to slip past all concerns related to your own sense of inadequacy."
I feel more relaxed and peaceful, which I think is a result of looking at the world's system of failure, unrelenting attack and constant problems.
There was always an effort to resist the world going wrong, a constant tension of trying to stop bad things happening, an expectation that things should be going well all the time, and a desire for nothing to ever turn sour.
These were all forms of denial and wishful thinking. An ignorance about the system of the world and how it functions. It was rooted in a mixed belief that the world was even capable of sustaining anything. That it should, that the norm of life should be that the world "works well", and that problems are occasional annoying exceptions.
If you look at the fact that the world is utterly bullshit and hell-bent on inevitable destruction, that all its roads lead to death, that it disappoints at every turn, and it is literally incapable of being free of problems and difficulties, you actually get more of a sense of its "true nature". Instead of the fanciful denial that attempts to insulate us from it.
We spend a great deal of time and effort trying to make the world more tolerable. We build fancy homes and cities to try to shut out and ignore the weather. We try to farm foods more carefully to avoid contamination. We're told to do healthy things and exercise so as to avoid health concerns. We're told to make money so that we don't starve to death.
And so the drive of "civilized society" is really a REACTION to the fact that the world is raw and wild and cruel and unrelenting in its onslaught of carnage. We've become quite good at making it more "comfortable" and "safe", to a degree, in an effort to make hell more palatable, trying to tame its wicked ways. To form an oasis in the desert where we can be insulated from its "nature" and distanced from its ravages. Even though NONE of this prevents the destruction of all these things.
If we drop all that and just recognize the way the world is, and not just the planet but also the whole fundamental fabric of spacetime, then we can see that it was made to function a certain way. It cannot do what it was not designed to do. Its nature has to remain opposite to heaven otherwise it will cease to exist. It must BE different and separate otherwise it cannot appear to exist at all.
So it has to maintain this system of destruction at all times. If we let go of expecting it to be otherwise, and undo this denial that tries to constantly fight against it, or has an expectation that it's supposed to turn out well at the physical level, then when its nature just "does what it does", we won't be so upset. And we won't have to keep resisting it all the time, or fearing it.
The fear really comes from the "hope" or wishful thinking that it's not going to do what it always does. That it's not going to attack or destroy or make things difficult. And then when it does we're seemingly in shock and upset because our expectation has been destroyed. Without the blindness of believing the world can function like heaven, or that it can operate peacefully, or that it will ever be devoid of its devouring deadly nature, we can actually be more at peace about it.
In sense this a form of acceptance. Not accepting that the world is real and true, since only atonement should be accepted and only heaven should be validated. But an acceptance that the world, as it is, is just the way it is, and it cannot help its nature. A recognition that it's just always going to fuck up and destroy everything, because that's the only way it can function. And then in recognition of this we can actually laugh at it and not be so disturbed or surprised or shocked when everything goes to hell again.
This isn't the same as "expecting the worst", because you can get yourself into a belief that this world is real and it always is just negative and depressing, and therefore there is no hope or alternative. But you can expect the worst in the sense of realizing that the world can't be anything BUT the worst, due to its attacking nature, and can separate your relationship with it into a space of laughing at its hilariously flawed ways. We are, after all meant to learn to laugh at the mad idea that has produced this world.
As I sit here I'm looking out the window - not a perfect window but a dirtied stained window - upon an environment in which the leaves on the trees are all dead. The grass is browned and half-dead as a result of the snow that covered it. The weather is cold and unrelentless. The brickwork on the buildings is uneven. The light of sun is blocked and producing shadows of darkness. Roof tiles are missing. Rocks are weathered and decayed. Electrical power boxes are slightly mis-aligned and a strange ugly color. And the somewhat mutilated fir trees are struggling to stay alive.
But is this unexpected for a world where all things must die because time is change and change is death? No. This is the only way it can be. It is hilariously faulty. Ridiculously tragic, and quite a mess. The world is really kind of like a giant trashcan filled with broken pieces and old rotten shite.
Can it be otherwise? It cannot. It can never be otherwise. The dust of dead civilizations will always be blown by the winds of hate in this world. And recognizing this is its nature can actually set you free. Free from the horrible suffering that results from believing it could be any other way. And free from the constant efforts to put some extra lipstick and bandaids on the corpse, trying in vain to turn a tired old world into a new one. In a sense, let the dead bury the dead, and let death be, that there may be life in the mind.
We are to forgive the world, yes. To do this we have to want another world. We have to tune into another reality. Beyond space and time, a world of light and eternal life. A world where the laws of God do not permit suffering, difficulty, problems or death. And then we bring that wholistic perspective with us as we shine its light upon the broken world and see it from a loving perspective. We don't have to condemn the world in order to see that it is inherently broken. We can forgive it for being the way it is, only because it IS broken. And in forgiveness we can laugh it away.
"The world will end in an illusion, as it began. Yet will its ending be an illusion of mercy. The illusion of forgiveness, complete, excluding no-one, limitless in gentleness, will cover it, hiding all evil, concealing all sin and ending guilt forever. So ends the world that guilt had made, for now it has no purpose and is gone." "The world will end when all things in it have been rightly judged by His judgment. The world will end with the benediction of holiness upon it. When not one thought of sin remains, the world is over. It will not be destroyed nor attacked nor even touched. It will merely cease to seem to be."
"The world will end in joy because it is a place of sorrow. When joy has come the purpose of the world has gone. The world will end in peace because it is a place of war. When peace has come, what is the purpose of the world? The world will end in laughter because it is a place of tears. Where there is laughter, who can longer weep? And only complete forgiveness brings all this to bless the world. In blessing it departs, for it will not end as it began."
When you are afraid, it is because you do not trust. Or more specifically, you trust the ego and yourself alone, rather than trusting God. You always trust something, whether it be reality or illusions.
When you trust in your own strength you become afraid because this cuts you off from God's strength. And the fact is that your real strength IS the power of God in you. And without God's strength you cannot be all powerful. In fact, alone, your only option is to be weak and insufficient.
When you are in weakness you will be automatically afraid because you know that you lack the power needed to deal with existence. Without the power of God, you are up against insurmountable obstacles and irreversible problems and all manner of threats and dangers. And you are NOT equipped to handle it without Him.
While you are depending solely on yourself, you are closed off and confined and limited, small and weak and frail, and you are in a state of fear. You cannot get out of this state of fear while you maintain dependence on yourself to be strong, and you cannot muster enough strength alone to get out of it.
What the fear then says is, you are unwilling to move forwards, proceed, invest, commit, take action, try anything, get involved, put energy into something, express yourself, enjoy life, be free, or even do anything at all, because you are afraid and weak and alone and you are already failing and anything you do is doomed to produce suffering.
So then you do not even try, you do not even attempt to live, you do not even endeavor to share your heart, because you feel like you are hemmed in by fear and mistrust. You feel like it is not SAFE to trust. That if you were to go ahead with things you will be threatened, perhaps punished, you will fail and be abused for it, and everyone will judge you, and it will end in a catastrophic failure.
But as usual, the ego is always lying about the reasons why you are afraid. It uses deflection away from the center of fear to try to tell you, you're afraid because of external things, or what will happen in future, or what other people will do, or how they'll attack you etc. But these are not the reason for the fear.
The reason for fear is always to hide the fact that there is nothing to be afraid of. Fear ITSELF is a lie. It's a deception designed to KEEP YOU afraid, for as long as possible, so that you will not go investigate for yourself and FIND OUT that there is no reason to be afraid. It's a story that's being told, a myth, designed to keep you away from God, away from freedom and away from happiness.
The thing the ego does not want you to do, is to withdraw your trust in it, ie depending solely on your own strength, and to put your trust in God. Because if you were to do this it would in fact grant you EXTRA STRENGTH, sharing God's power, and this strength IS safety, and it would eradicate the basis for any fear and obliterate the ego.
The ego does not want you trusting God instead of it. It wants to keep you in a fearful state, hiding, withering, avoiding, procrastinating, deflecting, denying, not embracing, trying to keep your distance from the state of freedom of mind and expression. Because it knows that its lie of fear is totally bullshit and the moment you stop believing it the ego has no hold over you.
What this means is, if you are afraid to act, it is because you are NOT trusting correctly. You believe that the situation is not safe, there will be punishment or attack or danger, and you do not want to approach it. You don't want to go through with things because they might cause unprecedented reactions from others. You become afraid of judgement and not being good enough for them and you hold yourself back.
But the fact is that when you TRUST, it is an act of willingness that empowers you. When you TRUST, fear disappears. In fact we can say that fear is the absence of trust. And like all illusions, the fear disappears when its absence becomes a presence. When trust is present, you cannot be afraid. Trust makes you safe. Trust gives you strength. Trust empowers you to move forward and expressed yourself. Trust gives you freedom.
And so AS you trust, you will find yourself able to do all the things you kept avoiding in fear, because you stand in the strength of God and are fearless. And you stop defending against, blocking, resisting, avoiding, the things you want to do. And life becomes more of an effortless flow.
But you have to thus find out why you are not trusting. Why you are not letting go of your idea of past failures. Why you are holding failure against yourself and threatening yourself with a repeat. And instead of living in fear, you have to become brave and courageous and willing enough to trust that if you will take a step forward, it will be supported and will not fall through.
You will find that a lack of trust is built with ego, and is an attempt to side with ego. And trusting means moving closer to God and trusting Him. And that means you have to be willing to approach God and let go of the fear of God. And indeed you have to let go of any past stories and emotional baggage relating to the undermining of trust. Thing which seemed to happen to you to threaten you and make you feel "not safe". Because a lack of trust is a lack of safety. And without safety you will live in fear.
God is with you to empower you and strengthen you and light your way and make your way smooth and effortless and safe and danger-free. If you will trust it.
""God is the Strength in which I trust." If you are trusting your own strength, you have every reason to be apprehensive, anxious, and fearful. What can you predict or control? What is there in you that can be counted on? What would give you the ability to be aware of all the facets of any problem, and to resolve them in such a way that only good can come of it? What is there in you that gives you the recognition of the right solution, and the guarantee that it will be accomplished?"
"Of yourself you can do none of these things. To believe that you can is to put your trust where trust is unwarranted, and to justify fear, anxiety, depression, anger, and sorrow. Who can put his faith in weakness and feel safe? Yet who can put his faith in strength and feel weak?"
"God is your safety in every circumstance. His Voice speaks for Him in all situations and in every aspect of all situations, telling you exactly what to do to call upon His strength and His protection. There are no exceptions because God has no exceptions. And the Voice Which speaks for Him thinks as He does."
"Today we will try to reach past your own weakness to the Source of real strength."
"Now try to slip past all concerns related to your own sense of inadequacy. It is obvious that any situation that causes you concern is associated with feelings of inadequacy, since otherwise you would believe that you could deal with the situation successfully. It is not by trusting yourself that you will gain confidence. But the strength of God in you is successful in all things."
"The recognition of your own frailty is a necessary step in the correction of your errors. But it is hardly a sufficient one in giving confidence which you need and to which you are entitled."
"You must also gain an awareness that your confidence in your real strength is fully justified in every respect and in all circumstances. In the latter phase of the practice period, try to reach down into your mind to a place of real safety. You will recognize that you have reached it if you feel a deep peace, however briefly. Let go all the trivial things that churn and bubble on the surface of your mind, and reach down and below them to the Kingdom of Heaven. There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. There is a place in you where nothing is impossible. There is a place in you where the strength of God abides."
"Remember that peace is your right because you are giving your trust to the strength of God."