"Heaven is a choice I must make"

Ok so we’ve heard about St Peter or whatever standing outside the gates of heaven making sure you have been well behaved in order to be allowed inside. This is symbolic, but it is actually symbolic of something true.

In order to be IN Heaven, certain conditions have to be met. Your mind has to be purified. You have to leave the body behind. Therefore you cannot be body identified. You have to be willing to love and create life. You have to be miraculous. Essentially you have to accept the Atonement. Heaven itself does not bar entry.

All are welcome. BUT you have the free will to choose to be in ego rather than Heaven. It’s not God who places you in "hell", it’s your self. Believing in the separation puts you in a state of exile or unawareness of being in Heaven. You dream of being elsewhere. Nothing and no one keeps you in hell but yourself. It is purely a matter of unwillingness to accept where you really are.

God welcomes you to be where He knows you always are. But to accept where you are, you ca nnot be having denial, or ego, or bodies, or worlds you made. These things, or rather your belief in them, block your awareness of being IN Heaven, making it SEEM that you are outside. When you are ready and willing, you wil let yourself accept the truth, that you are IN Heaven and never really left.

"Knowledge will be restored when YOU meet its conditions. This is not a bargain made by God, who made no bargains at all. It is merely the result of your misuse of His Laws on behalf of a will that was not His. Knowledge IS His Will. If you are OPPOSING His Will, how CAN you have knowledge"

There are two versions of this answer.

One relates to conditional love. If God has certain conditions which must be met in order for you to be worthwhile loving, then if you don't meet those conditions you aren't worthy enough. This makes you think that in order to become worthy you have to meet certain conditions, or turn yourself into a more lovable person. And also you believe that if you aren't meeting certain conditions, this PREVENTS God's love.

But then there's unconditional love. If God loves you unconditionally then it doesn't matter what your current state is, or what you think you did, or whether you're awake or sleeping. God is loving you 100% regardless. This means he must be overlooking everything you think would keep you from Him, and instead sees the REAL YOU.

Being worthy of God also means that God wants what you are or what you represent. It means God shares the view of you that you have of yourself. And it also means that your worthiness is lofty enough to be attractive to Him.

When you believe you are unworthy, it is a form of denial which attempts to shut God out, because if you didn't, you wouldn't be able to believe you are unworthy. So you have to pretend you're not. But it is only pretend. You can never be ACTUALLY unworthy, you just think you are.

Also to be worthy of God means that God values you and wants you and welcomes you. If you think there's something about you that proves that God wouldn't love you, maybe you're too ugly or have too many grievances or don't like your job or whatever, maybe you hold this up as the reason why God wouldn't love you. But it isn't proof. It's a mistake. And it is an incorrect answer.

God can't stop finding you worthy because God is constantly creating you, choosing you, sustaining you, loving you, extending you and protecting you. You came FROM God, because He decided he would extend love, as love, as you. Your very nature, your foundation, is love. If you came FROM God then obviously you ARE what God wants, because God wouldn't be in the business of creating something he doesn't like. He only creates with love. So you must be lovable.

Your belief that you're not lovable is the only problem. You think there's some reasons why God doesn't love you. None of those reasons are the truth and none of them have the power to stop God's love. You think they can, but they don't. You can hate yourself to death but God still loves you. And then He's like, ok, are you done playing now? It's time for dinner.

When considering whether this world is really a fixed objective reality, and whether your mind has any power over anything, it's worth considering the case of people with multiple personality disorders.

97% of people with multiple personalities develop it following extreme abuse or trauma. They develop often several or even hundreds of personalities - minds - seemingly living in the same body, and they switch between them.

The really fascinating part is that when a new personality or mind comes into control of the body, the body changes in dramatic ways that defy all medical science.

While one personality may have diabetes for example, when another personality takes over the body no longer has diabetes. Or while one personality has a severe allergy, another does not. The shape of the face changes as well.

There are even cases where the color of the eyes changes based on the personality, the speech patterns change as though the vocal chords themselves are altered, scars on the skin appear and disappear, chronic conditions appear to switch on and off.

It shows that the mind has tremendous power over the body and influence over its state, conditions, and appearance. As the course says:

"The mind makes this decision, as it makes all decisions which are responsible for the body's condition."

It becomes apparent that the only reason we seem to not "notice" this happening with most people is because most people's minds are relatively stable - or shall we say, chronic and fixed in their belief patterns. So they continually project almost the same body states all the time. And since these don't often change, it makes it seem like there is no causation from mind to body at all.

We could re-word that to say that, when a person has a long-term ongoing belief or unhealed grievance, they project this onto the body over a long period of time, manifesting as chronic disease and lasting conditions.

It's only when significant changes take place in the mind, or different minds or personalities come through, that you see dramatic changes in the physical form. And this then reveals just how much mind is constantly in a state of projecting and altering the body image. If you could get the average person to switch on and off certain deeply held beliefs or 'identities', you'd be astonished at the changes it has on the body.

It also reveals that if you do change your mind and heal the mind in significant ways, the body will dramatically change as well. Symptoms of disease and sickness can switch off in an instant. We can even go so far as to say that limbs can regrow, body parts can regenerate, and profound miracles can occur. And when you change your mind, the whole world must change.

"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind MUST BE STRONGER. Every miracle demonstrates this."

"Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly."

There are no requirements that must be met for you to return to God. There isn't anything that you must do, otherwise you won't be able to be with God.

If there is anything in the dream or in our ego identities that is capable of preventing God, then we would be stuck in the dream forever. If anything has the power to overthrow God's will, for real, we would be completely lost. So it is fortunate this is not so.

We do pretend not to be with God, and we can seemingly 'deny' that we are with God, but even while we're denying that we are with God, we are still with Him. We also can deny that we have eternal life, but even while we're denying that we have eternal life, we have eternal life. And even while we deny that we are completely loved, we are still completely loved.

It would seem we can 'hold off' the love and prevent the eternal life and reject God's will by making certain choices for ego and death. But even these choices do not affect God's love, or our eternal life. They are mistakes. They are make-believe. They are illusions of achievement. Nothing in a dream has the power to stop the dreamer from awakening.

Jesus does describe how The Kingdom of God has certain 'conditions', and that you need to meet those conditions in order to be ABLE to be in the Kingdom. However, those conditions effectively are always met and cannot be unmet. We are pretending not to meet them, but are not actually failing to meet them. Because we haven't left Heaven for real, and leaving is impossible.

So in our unconditional love, we need to be aware that there are absolutely no rules or requirements or demands as to why you can't be included in love or why you cannot be healed or why you cannot live forever. The ego has no power to overthrow God's will or God's creation. Sure, it can be deluded into believing it can, and you can seem to side with it and believe that you're actually pulling it off. But you're not really. You're severely mistaken, and thank God it IS only a mistake.

Nobody is denied God's love. Everyone is welcome. Everyone has full and free access. And just because a cloud comes along to seem to cover up the sun, it doesn't make the sun go away. We can cover ourselves up all we want, or try to, or make illusions that *seem* that they really do so, but they don't actually. It takes the awareness of CHRIST to be able to discern that these illusions ARE just illusions and to not buy into them. Illusions are very appealing and distracting, but they are not true.

All are welcome in God. All ARE in God. Everyone is loved fully and equally. And we are all Home already. Any illusion which seems to prevent your inclusion in love is merely that, an illusion, because nothing can prevail against the Kingdom of God or keep you apart from His love.

What seems to happen to the body, does not happen to the soul. The son of God is utterly unchanged and unaffected, even by physical death.

If we look to the body and see what the mind has mistakenly made of it, attacking it and disfiguring it with guilt, producing symptoms and sicknesses and disabilities, and if we regard these changes as truly happening to the person, we are mistaken.

It's more like a car that gets some dents in it, but the car driver is unscathed. If we regard the body as the person we'll start to feel awful at what has happened to the person, terrorised by their maladies, and deeply upset at the loss of their perfection. Especially if the body is driven all the way to death and destruction.

But this has to be mistaken. A person is not a body, and a body is not a reality. It is just a symbol in a dream. It's something that the mind projects a shadow of its guilts onto, which show up as physical forms. But the body is just an empty shell, and not the pilot. It's just an outer casing. Its condition doesn't really say that the soul or son of God has been wounded.

The interesting part perhaps is that even though this is true, the mind of the sufferer seems capable of experiencing the body's conditions as though they are real. There can be experiences of pain and torment, of sadness and loss, of fear and guilt and shame, revolving around the body. There can be upsetting sensations and troubling conditions and aches and pains and all manner of ways to suffer, and somehow the mind can experience these as though "real suffering."

But even if the mind if seeming to experience body conditions as real suffering, the soul still does not experience them as real suffering. The mind can be confused, and in effect suffering is a psychological thing. If the mind can be purified it cannot feel pain, or conceive of sickness, and instead heals the body and makes sickness impossible.

So when someone is sick and it seems that their sickness is making them suffer, and they feel depressed and upset, and in agony of pain and screaming in dis-ease, this still does not prove that something is really happening to the person. It's still a mistaken state of mind on top of a mistaken state of body, covering up a completely unmistaken central core of perfection.

So it's our job as a miracle worker to not be deceived, either by the physical appearance of disfigurement, or the psychological interaction with that disfigurement by the person's mind. Both are states of mistakenness. If we buy into it we support it, and have ourselves become mistaken, confused about the truth, deceived about a lie, associating a soul with a body or mind, and are now just as lost in the false empathy of suffering.

Ultimately there is nothing really going wrong. It's all an illusion, at both min and body levels. The reality of the soul or son of God is always immortal and perfect.

"The Soul never loses its communion with God. Only the mind and body need Atonement. The miracle joins in the Atonement of Christ by placing the mind in the service of the Spirit. This establishes the proper function of mind, and abolishes its errors." UrT1B27E

If there's something in you that's blocking God's love, then you need to let that go and have it be healed in order to be open to God's love. You can't access God's love and keep your block.

Blocks are blocks to awareness of God's love. You can't have your hate and have love at the same time. You have to let the hate go.

This is why God does not unconditionally love your blocks, your hates, your illusions. If he could, you would be able to keep your hateful illusions at the same time as be with God. This is impossible.

God and His Kingdom have certain conditions - certain requirements, if you will. By this I don't mean God is conditional. Just that, as ACIM says, the Kingdom has certain conditions that you must meet if you are to exist there fully. One condition of the Kingdom is that you must love fully. You can't therefore access and hang out in the Kingdom if you have hate in you.

You also can't bring the Kingdom `into` the place where hate is. ACIM speaks multiple times about how God is kept away from your inner altar when you have placed false Gods and idols (like hidden hates) there. Also it speaks of how love can't enter where it is not welcome. Love is gentle and unforceful so it does not attempt to push away your hates and fears against your will. And it does not attempt to say you are loved at the same time as keeping them.

You are always loved. But the YOU that is always loved is the YOU that God Created, not the YOU that you made. The you that you made DOES NOT EXIST and God does not love it.

If you want to be loved, you MUST surrender your false ego self and all of its defenses against love. You must go to where love IS and not hide where love is not. It's not going to come into your fantasies of death and make them real or spiritualized.

It's a choice. It's up to you. Do you want God's love or do you want your ego illusions? You can't keep both. God's reality has no opposite. You can be loved, but you can't accept it or access it or experience it while you block it, and every block you have is not what God created and must be recognized as not existing. Only then can you experience love fully.

If you love people based on what they do, who they are, how they appear, what they say, whether you like them, whether you agree with them, their personality, their attitude, then.... there is going to be a natural limit to how loving you can be.

You are loving conditionally, which is very very commonplace in this world. It means you depend heavily on an explicit and specific set of characteristics in order to 'love'. In other words, it takes a 'special' set of characteristics for you to deem that someone is worthy of you loving them. You'll only love them IF they meet the criteria, and only IF they give you what you prefer, and only IF they don't suddenly become like 'all the other fuckers'.

Ok so... fundamentally, there is a shift that I think is happening (for me anyway).... a shift towards .... "how do I love everyone the same?" ie "how can I love UN-conditionally?"

And the ONLY way that this is even POSSIBLE, is that we learn to love IN SPITE OF appearances, REGARDLESS of background, INSTEAD OF reacting to someone's personality or behavior, and OVERLOOKING all ego illusions that the person seems to present or tempt us with. We have to be able to be in a very certain, constant state of truth that is not SWAYED by appearances, is not changed by illusions and is not AFFECTED by people.

It's about choosing to love, simply because it is what God wills. Choosing to love because, if it is conditional, it's really NOT love. Choosing to love because you want REAL LOVE in your life and you want to be open to receiving unconditional love from God. How are you going to receive unconditional love from God if you place so many conditions on love and only accept it under very strict conditions? This is what I ask myself now.

Can I love in spite of the entire illusory world? Can I overlook (forgive) every single temptation to hate, every temptation to react with anger, every temptation to see people as, basically, unloveable? Can I be willing to see myself as loveable? Not just, you know, special-loveable, but, unconditionally loveable?

Unconditional love is the love of God, it's the love of the Sonship, it's the love of Holy Spirit. Conditional love is a tiny little slither of love provided by the ego, a limited, deluded love that isn't even 'full' love.

Wowza. Mind-blowing.

Last night I was talking with Jesus about letting go, and I was thinking the words "I need to surrender" ....and Jesus interjected and changed the word 'surrender' to "let go" .... so then I repeated the modified words. ... I need to let go, except Jesus again interjected and added on some words.... "trying to be God".

And then I was stunned. The realization that I was trying to be God seemed to 'fit' my ego exactly, not just sending me off on some other ego tangent or train of thought, but actually kind of 'disabling' my entire ego for a moment. I felt like I had absolutely no come-back, and no defense. It was true. I felt in myself not just a kind of mental unmasking of myself, but even right down into my torso, as if I've just been stripped bare of all defenses and could do nothing but be stunned from head to toe.

It seemed brilliant, on Jesus's part, to make this observation. The ego - my ego - our egos - really are trying to be God. Our attempt to separate ourselves off form God and to then have various characteristics that would normally be God's characteristics, but without Him, is TOTALLY us trying to be God.

I believe I am God when I am in charge, in control, or having dominion over the world. I believe I'm God by making myself right about things. I believe I'm God by making decisions on my own. I believe I'm God by believing that I know stuff and am informed enough to direct outcomes. I believe I'm God when I think this is 'my own life' and that I am the one who is in charge of it. But it seems more fundamental than this even. It runs to the ego's core.

The ego is literally trying to 'take over' and 'take away from God' everything that God is. It wants to take away God's power, God's fullness, God's mind, God's reality, God's thought system, God's heart, God's eternal life, everything. It wants God not to have it, which means a choice for death, but at the same time, it wants to have all of this for itself without any of the 'conditions' that come with these things - the conditions of Heaven. Or real responsibility.

So I am trying to be God. Holy shit. This doesn't just speak to one portion of 'my life' but to ALL of it. I need to let go of trying to be God. We all do. Can you feel how much of your ego self just 'drops away' when you say this?

I let go of trying to be God.

All the uptight tension and control and fear and attack and manipulation and engagement with stories just falls away when we admit this. And when we do let go of trying to do this... in surrender, and allow God to be God, and allow ourselves to be His creation (not the other way around), the authority problem melts with it.

The authority problem is us attempting to be God, which causes us to be at war with God, and in constant struggles. Letting go of trying to be the one who is God lets go of all of that role-play... it is a heavenly surrender.

Which means, everything about God exists already, is complete already, is in perfect divine order, free of needs and problems, in divine health at all times, and absolutely always the same.

So when we're having a relationship with God, we might want to look at in which ways we're really treating God based on how God is, versus some idea of a 'changeable God'.

If God were changeable, you might be justified in, for example, asking Him to do something ... ie he hasn't done it already. Or, praying for something to be done which isn't his will. Or, believing that he doesn't have a desire to heal certain person due to sins. etc... various beliefs that arise out of the idea of a conditional, fickle God.

God has already accomplished everything because God already created. His creation is whole and complete already. He has already put into place everything that you really need, your ideal environment, the perfect conditions for your health, etc. He has also already established His laws and set up the 'mechanisms' by which you should live in alignment to His will.

So it's not so much a matter of, let's get God to bend to our conditions and do what we think hasn't been done yet. It's more like, let's accept what God has put in place and get into the role that He has chosen for us and act based on the laws he has already established and live in the way that He has already designed for us.

It's not that God is failing to give us a perfect life. But that's exactly what you're saying when you think that your life is a mess and isn't working out properly and needs correction. It's not because God has failed. God never fails. It's because we have resisted God's way, have resisted God's will, and want to have things be different. And it's also not that God isn't providing or giving or sharing, it's that we're not receiving. We're ignoring God and shutting out His help, it's not that He isn't helpful.

So it's like, we have this natural role, a 'function', which God has set in place, to be the Holy Son of God, and to be free of all illusions and all ego, and to live forever, carrying out His will and extending His kingdom. And if we're not doing that, it's because we have chosen not to, and therefore what can we expect but to meet with problems? The fact is, our ego self wants to have its own separate existence with its own rules and laws and power and do all this without God and expect it to go well. Life doesn't work smoothly without God.

So it's really a matter, what it comes down to, in the undoing of the authority problem (trying to have authority over God rather than accept and extend His authority), whether you are willing to BE what God has intended you to be, or whether you still want to be something else. Whether you want to be governed by laws of sickness and chaos and death, which you made, or whether you want to be under no laws but God's - the laws of eternal life.

I went to God and opened myself up on the topic of unconditional love. I wanted to find out how to be unconditionally loving, and I started to inquire whether God loved me unconditionally.

Then I started to regurgitate all of the things I did during the day which could've been considered guilty or judgmental or fearful. I seemed to be confessing these things, thinking perhaps that God would only love me unconditionally IF I hadn't done these things or IF I was willing to admit them.

For some reason it seemed difficult to simply accept that God loves me unconditionally. In my mind I kept thinking there had to be 'reasons' why God would love me, like, certain conditions that I had to be meeting, certain ways I had to be behaving. So I seemed to keep offering up these things that I'd 'done', believing that at least exposing them to His light was some kind of 'offering' or that He needs to forgive me for them, or something.

But what happened was, I think Holy Spirit chimed in that none of these things were important. I felt the presence of God, which was just 'there', while off to one side it seemed Holy Spirit spoke for Him. I still struggled to understand how God could be loving me unconditionally if I'd done certain things or made certain mistakes or whatever... there was just this ... expectation, of 'only being loved IF', a love that's based on conditions and requirements, that I found hard to push past mentally.

What I couldn't 'get', but what was being very simply offered, was that... all God wants to do is love me. Not me in exclusion, but, ... He had no other agenda. No other interests. He wasn't asking me to do certain mental somersaults. He wasn't even remotely interested in all the things I'd 'done'. He didn't seem at all concerned about any of the stuff I felt guilty about. It was really like He was oblivious to all this. And all that He WAS doing... was loving.

Holy Spirit chimed in... that all God wants to do is love. The impression I got was of like a 'being' that just loves, only loves, doesn't do anything else, has no other interests or motives, isn't even remotely excited or upset about other stuff I've done, isn't even remotely concerned with punishment or judgement, and JUST WANTS TO LOVE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME.

And nothing else.

Just love. Just loving. Just being in love and wanting to share that love with me. Just embracing me with love and surrounding me with love, like love was its ONLY function, love was its only capability, and it couldn't DO anything else but love. It was almost like a handicapped child with severe limitations, as an analogy, which just runs up to you and hugs you spontaneously for no reason, and doesn't really do much else. It just loves. God just loves.

It blew me away that this was all God was interested in. Just to love me. Nothing else was important to Him in that moment. There were no distractions. Just this totally single-minded perfectly pure absolutely overwhelmingly unbridled passionate, embracing love, for me, for no reason whatsoever other than its own self-evident love.

I felt that, some. But parts of me still couldn't understand how this was possible. My ego mind kept reaching to "but what about ...."... and none of that was important.

God just loves us, 100%, all the time. We are in that love with Him, 100%, all the time. Just love everywhere. That's all there is.