As you approach closer to what's in your heart, to be true to yourself, to be authentic and real, expressive and uncensored, you're going to come face to face with blocks to love.
These will come up inside you with an emotional charge likely from past events. This stuff doesn't just go away.
In your past, particularly in childhood, when you were expressing yourself more openly and freely, if you did something that other people decided was "bad" or wrong or that you should be guilty for, and especially if you were punished in some way or love was withheld, then you'll store this belief that being yourself will lead to pain. That unless you censor yourself and stay within the lines, you will likely make mistakes and will suffer for it.
Other ways it comes up is that you can't do what you want or express how you'd like because someone will disapprove, or you're only supposed to do what you were told to do (which is a common parenting style), or that if you do what you want you will displease people, or will experience rejection again.
So then as you go to do what you feel you'd love to do, you'll stop yourself with fear or sickness (as a defense), because you know that based on the past, if you go ahead in this way, someone is going to get hurt. You.
So you fear the same unforgiving attitude, the same unloving response, and the same guilt-trip, pain or suffering. When you believe that being yourself will make you unloveable, how are you going to be yourself?
Making mistakes should lead to forgiveness, be responded to with love, and reassure you that you are still innocent. Especially since "nothing really happened." If they don't, and if something negative happens, and you form a false self image based on this pain (which you do to yourself), then it stays lodged in your mind/emotional body until such a time as you attempt to do something in life that confronts it.
If you're intent on waking up or healing or forgiving etc, then sooner or later you will be pushing the envelope of your beliefs and comfort zones and you're going to come face to face with your pain again. If you want to move forward rather than hit a wall again, healing is going to have to happen. Whether you will have a catharsis or cry your eyes out or do a massive forgiveness or receive a miracle, one way or another the baggage has to go.
But then you will be set free.
For a short time yesterday, my body vanished from my conscious awareness. I had my eyes closed at the time and was thinking about some stuff...
I had this sudden vision of a small scene, perhaps a trail or some short stretch of path, and there was a body laying there. But then the body collapsed in on itself, and then flattened, and took on a dark shadow-like coloring, and then it completely just totally disappeared, like totally erased from the scene. I don't know if I was being shown this perhaps.
But then the next moment, as if related somehow, I suddenly had this awareness that my own physical body was not there anymore. Not simply that it was there but I was recognizing its unreality, it literally was gone. It had become invisible and totally absent.
I seemed to be still me as if some energy form or something, but the physical body that had surrounded me was gone. In an instant it seemed to fade and just vanish. I immediately thought of a quote from the course...
"Miracles are the absence of the body. They are sudden shifts into invisibility, away from lower order reality. That is why they heal."
Then I had this thought, is this a miracle, and does this mean I'm being healed somehow?
What then was the most stark and interesting fact, was just this amazing contrast between not having a body and all the various things that I believe about the body being real. Such as that it has biological mechanisms, or has a past history, or is physically solid, or that there's all these rules that have to be followed for its preservation, that it needs to be fed and slept and so on. All of those in an instant seemed completely irrelevant and meaningless.
I marveled to myself, that if the body can be just so easily switched off like that, it can't even really be a body. It's like some kind of hollow empty shell. Everything about it is fake and none of the stories about how it functions or what it depends on are true.
I also thought about how "miracles are teaching devices", because when you are exposed to something where the body is suddenly healed or something happens violating the laws of physics, or your body vanishes, there is just this incredibly profound education about the fact that the body is not anything at all. It uproots everything you ever believed. It confronts every bit of folklore about how the body works and behaves and must be protected and so on. All of it is suddenly false.
This went on for about 10 seconds or so as I felt myself bodiless. I noticed that I had a slight sense of the presence of the ends of my arms and legs, my hands and feet, but only mildly. And then I returned. Whether I was being shown this or escorted to see this or whatever I don't know. Nor could I get the experience to return on my own.
It was the most unexpected and peculiar thing, to have something you've always thought to be not only your self but also to be real and solid and important, to just be shown to be nothing but an imaginary image that can be flipped off like a switch. As though it means nothing whatsoever.
I'm reminded of this:
"You have made much progress, and are really trying to make still more, but there is one thing you have never done; not for one instant have you utterly forgotten the body. It has faded at times from your sight, but it has not yet COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED. You are not asked to let this happen for more than an instant, but it is in this instant that the miracle of Atonement happens. Afterwards, you will see the body again, but never quite the same. And every instant that you spend WITHOUT awareness of it gives you a different view of it, when you return."
In the separation from God, we basically denied God and tried to reject him. We tried to will against his will, reject his fatherhood, block awareness of his love, and hide in the darkness. We did not want God to love us, and wanted to hide our love for him.
This means that now, in our separated ego state, we are actually in a position where we are not allowing ourselves to be aware of God. Or to put it another way, we're trying to shut him out of our mind.
This means ultimately that we're trying NOT to be loved, to block and limit love, and are trying to resist being loved or loveable. We have to suppress our love and lovability in order to shut God out, because God himself IS love.
Before the separation, and in our creation, God gave ALL of himself, all of his immense unlimited unconditional love to us, and loved us with an endless deep love. We received this love and ARE this love. We are created as entirely lovable to God, loved BY God, and we are THE love of God.
In the separation, in the authority problem, we tried to deny this love and therefore also this lovability. But now we find ourselves feeling empty, lacking love, unlovable, unworthy, not good enough, and feeling that we don't love ourselves.
The thing is, that we can't love ourselves WITHOUT including God in that love, and that means that any willingness to love ourselves will have to also be a willingness to LET GOD love us as well. It means being willing to RECEIVE LOVE.
The problem we have is that we basically have stopped letting ourselves RECEIVE, and have placed great emphasis on giving without receiving, which is sacrifice. We don't love ourselves in isolation, and can't love ourselves while trying to be separate from God.
The secret then is that in order to feel loved and loving, you HAVE to let God love you. You have to let God in, into your mind, into your awareness. You have to be willing to allow yourself to RECEIVE LOVE from God, acknowledge that God has already GIVEN total love to you, and have gratitude that it has been given so that you can give it back as well.
You can't feel loved unless you share and flow love. You can't flow love unless God is its source. You can only share the love of God. You can only feel loved if you let God love you and are willing to extend it to others. You can't find love in isolation or exclusion, nor can you find a love in yourself that you can love yourself with that is other than God's love.
This is why when you try to love yourself you fail, because you cannot create love out of nothing. You have to get it from God. There is no love other than God's love, so you have to let God in and let him love you in order to feel love. And when you do... .... you feel loved and safe and happy and strong, and have love to give.
"And I must learn I need do nothing of myself, for I need but accept my Self, my sinlessness, created for me, now already mine, to feel God's Love protecting me from harm, to understand my Father loves His Son; to know I am the Son my Father loves."
"For we will learn today what peace is ours when we forget all things except God's Love."
"Yet forgiveness is the means by which I will recognize my innocence. It is the reflection of God's Love on earth. It will bring me near enough to Heaven that the Love of God can reach down to me and raise me to my home."
"Yet is the world of hatred equally unseen and inconceivable to those who feel God's Love in them. Their world reflects the quietness and peace that shines in them; the gentleness and innocence they see surrounding them; the joy with which they look out from the endless wells of joy within."
"The only part of your mind that has reality, is the part that links you still with God. Would you have ALL of it transformed into a radiant message of God's Love, to share with all the lonely ones, who have denied Him with you? GOD MAKES THIS POSSIBLE. "
"YOU are the work of God, and His Work is wholly loveable and wholly loving. This is how a man MUST think of himself in his heart, because this is what he IS."
"I am sustained by the Love of God."
"Put all your faith in the Love of God within you, eternal, changeless and forever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you today. Through the Love of God in you, you can resolve all seeming difficulties without effort and in sure confidence."
"I am surrounded by the Love of God."
"I feel the Love of God within me now."
"If you feel the Love of God within you, you look out upon a world of mercy and of love."
"To all who share the love of God the grace is given to be the givers of what they have received."
"You who could give the love of God to everything you see and touch and remember are literally denying Heaven to yourselves."
"I bless you, brother, with the Love of God which I would share with you. For I would learn the joyous lesson that there is no love but God's and yours and mine and everyone's."
"Sacrifice is gone. And in its place, the Love of God can be remembered, and will shine away all memory of sacrifice and loss."
"If you would but let the Holy Spirit tell you of the Love of God for you, and the need that your creations have to be with you forever, you would experience the attraction of the Eternal. For no-one can hear Him speak of this, and long remain willing to linger here. For it IS your will to be in Heaven, where you are complete and quiet, in such sure and loving relationships, that ANY limits are impossible."
"For the special relationship is THE RENUNCIATION OF THE LOVE OF GOD, and the attempt to secure for the self the specialness that He denied."
"But the sane KNOW that only attack COULD produce fear, from which the love of God COMPLETELY protects them."
"The love of God, for a little while, must still be expressed through one body to another."
"You who identify with your egos cannot believe that God loves you. YOU do not love what you have made, and what you have made does not love you. Being made out of the denial of the Father, the ego has no allegiance to its own Maker. You cannot conceive of the real relationship that exists between God and His Souls, because of the hatred you have for the Self you have made."
"You cannot understand how much your Father loves you, for there is no parallel in your experience of the world to help you understand it. There is nothing on earth with which it can compare, and nothing you have ever felt, APART from Him, that resembles it ever so faintly."
I've been finding lately that turning to love is a problem solving solution. That being in a state of love can in fact solve anything. And this has to mean unconditional love, in terms of it solving any problem in any situation, regardless of the circumstances.
Just feeling a sense of love inside myself, actually has the corrective power to keep me out of fear. It provides a feeling of safety. But it even goes further to influence others and my relationship to them positively. It's like being in a state of prayer. Praying to send love to others, to solve problems.
It seems so simple but it also seems so difficult to consistently trust that turning to love will solve every problem. We're so used to trying to solve problems through so many varied means, so many different forms, different approaches, ways of relating, actions and reactions, that the one thing which solves them all equally becomes obscured.
The ultimate lesson seems to be learning to trust that love can and will solve everything, if we would just turn to it for everything, depend on it for everything, and trust it in all situations to be the solution. After all, God who is love gave the Holy Spirit who is love, to solve the one problem, which led to the illusion of many problems. And in His love all problems are solved equally with the same loving response.
Love simply works, and corrects every error in every way necessary. It is miraculous in its unconditionality and complete denial of the many varied forms of suffering.
A few quotes...
"Your holiness, then, can remove all pain, can end all sorrow, and can solve all problems. It can do so in connection with yourself and with anyone else. It is equal in its power to help anyone, because it is equal in its power to save anyone. If you are holy, so is everything God created. You are holy because all things He created are holy, and all things He created are holy because you are."
"This course is a beginning, not an end. Your Friend goes with you. You are not alone. No one who calls on Him can call in vain. Whatever troubles you, be certain that He has the answer, and will gladly give it to you if you simply turn to Him and ask it of Him. He will not withhold all answers that you need for anything that seems to trouble you. He knows the way to solve all problems and resolve all doubts. His certainty is yours. You need but ask it of him, and it will be given you."
"It is NOT difficult to understand the reasons why you do not ask the Holy Spirit to solve ALL problems for you. HE has not a greater difficulty in resolving some than others. Every problem is the SAME to Him, because each one is solved in just the SAME respect, and through the SAME approach. The aspects that NEED solving do not change, whatever FORM the problem seems to take. A problem can appear in MANY forms, and it will do so while the problem lasts. It serves no purpose to attempt to solve it in a SPECIAL form. It WILL recur, and then recur again and yet again, until it has been answered for ALL time, and will not rise again in ANY form. And ONLY then are you RELEASED from it."
"The Holy Spirit offers you release from EVERY problem that you think you have. They are the SAME to Him, because each one, regardless of the form it seems to take, is a demand that someone suffer loss, and make a sacrifice that you might gain. And, when the situation is worked out so NO-ONE loses, is the problem gone, because it was an error in perception, which now has been corrected. One mistake is NOT more difficult for Him to bring to truth than is another. For there IS but one mistake; the whole idea that loss is possible, and COULD result in gain for anyone. If THIS were true, then God WOULD be unfair; sin WOULD be possible, attack be justified, and vengeance fair. This ONE mistake, in ANY form, has ONE correction. There IS no loss; to think there IS, is a mistake."
"Here is the answer to every problem that confronts you today and tomorrow and throughout time. In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, "protective" clothing, "influence," "prestige," being liked, knowing the "right" people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness which you endow with magical powers."
"In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved. In conflict there can BE no answer and no resolution. For its PURPOSE is to make NO resolution possible, and to ensure NO answer will be plain. A problem set in conflict HAS no answer, for it is seen in different ways. And what would be an answer from one point of view is NOT an answer in another light. You ARE in conflict. Thus it must be clear you cannot answer anything at all, for conflict HAS no limited effects. Yet, if God gave an Answer, there MUST be a way in which your problems are resolved, for what He wills already has been done."
"The one remaining problem that you have is that you see an interval between the TIME when you forgive, and will receive the benefits of trust. This but reflects the little you would keep between YOURSELVES, that you might be a LITTLE separate. For time and space are ONE illusion, which takes different forms. If it has been projected BEYOND your minds, you think of it as time. The nearer it is brought to where it IS, the more you think of it in terms of space. There is a DISTANCE you would keep apart from one another. And this space you see as time, because you still believe you are EXTERNAL to each other. This makes trust impossible. And you can NOT believe that trust would settle every problem NOW."
"This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes. ... The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth. For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."
Concepts, theories, explanations, metaphysics, it is not enough. Mind is not changed through an accumulation of information. Mind's quality must be changed by an INFUSION OF LOVE, which can only come from God - because God IS the only love there is.
A willingness to let yourself be loved by God, allows you to RECEIVE LOVE into your awareness. This will act like a strength of light which gives LIFE to you and intensifies your light. It is impossible to explain how it does this, or what it does. Love simply heals and miraculously brightens mind's quality and condition, restoring it to order and perfection.
This has absolutely nothing to do with learning concepts or ideas, mastering theories or metaphysics, intellectually grasping complicated logic, or figuring out what the course is saying. This is AN EXPERIENCE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. A direct repairing of the only problem - which is the sense of separation from God.
ONLY your sense of separation from God needs correcting. This is all about your relationship with God. Directly. God to you, and you to God. This has NOTHING to do with other people, bodies, the world, thoughts, ego, forgiveness, or anything other than BEING ONE WITH HIM.
For mind to become higher and truly be more whole and healed, it has to open to love. And that love is not a theory. It is FELT AND EXPERIENCED DIRECTLY. LOVE IS ALIVE! That love is God himself, in your mind, not as some mind-thing or thought-thing, but as an actual FEELING OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS.
This love holds you, embraces you, supports you, reassures you, comforts you, cares for you, strengthens you, and heals you. It is God's arm around you through the Holy Spirit. It is RESURRECTION. This love IS WHAT YOU ARE. Not some concept of a thing, but actual experienced reality, the truth of your being.
Receiving this love from God is the highest form of prayer, in which you recognize, acknowledge, and become grateful for the fact that God HAS GIVEN YOU ALL HIS LOVE ALREADY. He gave it in your creation. It is in you, it is what you are. Acknowledging and receiving this love is the recognition of WHAT YOU ARE, and the reclaiming of your inheritance and identity.
If distance from God is the problem, then you need to get more God into you in order to solve the problem. What you are lacking is God, and nothing else. The only thing you NEED, is God. God fulfils ALL your needs. Every problem, every suffering, every loss, every pain and fear, every sickness and death, is nothing other than a symptom of a lack of God. The ONLY ANSWER to this is to become MORE UNITED WITH GOD.
Miracles are the expression of the love that you receive from God, and GIVE LIFE where it seems lacking. Miracles give love, through the power of God, to illuminate and intensify the light and love in others. We are to give the kingdom to the kingdom, to teach only love because that is what we are, and to RECEIVE GOD in order to HAVE GOD to GIVE GOD to GOD.
The experience of God's love is a HIGHER state of mind and experience. It is not just another sophisticated and clever interpretation of the truth, or a more abstract or higher grasp of the theory of it. It is a direct plugging into the supernatural source of all life and love and strength. It is a real felt condition of being and light and life.
You simply need to GET WITH GOD! To let God into your mind again. To admit that God is with you everywhere you go. To regard yourself as one with God, dependent on God for everything, trusting God for everything, and allowing God to work through you in all things you do. The whole must be given to the whole in order to have the whole.
LET GOD LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW, AND FEEL IT!
"I am sustained by the Love of God."
"Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind which nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God."
"Put all your faith in the Love of God within you, eternal, changeless and forever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you today. Through the Love of God in you, you can resolve all seeming difficulties without effort and in sure confidence."
"I am surrounded by the Love of God."
"I feel the Love of God within me now."
"To feel the Love of God within you is to see the world anew, shining in innocence, alive with hope, and blessed with perfect charity and love."
"If you feel the Love of God within you, you look out upon a world of mercy and of love."
"I feel the Love of God within me now. The Love of God is what created me. The Love of God is everything I am. The Love of God proclaimed me as His Son. The Love of God within me sets me free."
"But let me follow Him Who leads me home, and peace is certain as the Love of God."
"Yet forgiveness is the means by which I will recognize my innocence. It is the reflection of God's Love on earth. It will bring me near enough to Heaven that the Love of God can reach down to me and raise me to my home."
"I am sustained by the Love of God."
"As I listen to God's Voice, I am sustained by His Love. As I open my eyes, His Love lights up the world for me to see. As I forgive, His Love reminds me that His Son is sinless. And as I look upon the world with the vision He has given me, I remember that I am His Son."
"Who, with the love of God upholding him, could find the choice of miracles or murder hard to make?"
"Grace is an aspect of the Love of God which is most like the state prevailing in the Unity of truth."
"Grace is acceptance of the Love of God within a world of seeming hate and fear. By grace alone the hate and fear are gone, for grace presents a state so opposite to everything the world contains that those whose minds are lighted by the gift of grace can not believe the world of fear is real."
"For the love of God, no longer seek for union in separation, nor for freedom in bondage! As you release, so will you BE released. FORGET THIS NOT, or love will be unable to find you, and comfort you."
"But Jesus is for you the bearer of Christ's single message of the Love of God. You need no other."
"Give thanks for mercy and the Love of God. Rejoice in the power of forgiveness to heal your sight completely."
"Can anything EXCEED the love of God? Can anything, then, exceed YOUR will?"
"There is no veil the love of God in us together CANNOT lift. The way to Truth is open. Follow it with me."
"To all who share the love of God the grace is given to be the givers of what they have received. And so they learn that it is theirs forever. All barriers disappear before their coming"
"You who could give the love of God to everything you see and touch and remember are literally denying Heaven to yourselves."
"I bless you, brother, with the Love of God which I would share with you. For I would learn the joyous lesson that there is no love but God's and yours and mine and everyone's."
"Never forget the Love of God, Who HAS remembered you. For it is quite impossible that He could ever let His Son drop from His loving Mind, wherein he was created, and where his abode was fixed in perfect peace forever."
"Sacrifice is gone. And in its place, the Love of God can be remembered, and will shine away all memory of sacrifice and loss."
"Today accept Atonement, not to change reality, but merely to accept the truth about yourself, and go your way rejoicing in the endless Love of God."
"I will forgive and this will disappear. To every apprehension, every care, and every form of suffering repeat these selfsame words. And then you hold the key that opens Heaven's gate, and brings the Love of God the Father down to earth at last, to raise it up to Heaven."
"But see the love of God in you, and you will see it everywhere because it IS everywhere. See His abundance in everyone, and you will know that you are in Him WITH them. They are part of you as you are part of God."
"Think, then, how great the Love of God for YOU must be, that He has given you a part of Him, to save from pain and give YOU happiness."
"For still deeper than the ego's foundation, and MUCH stronger than IT will ever be, is your intense and burning love of God, AND HIS FOR YOU."
"The love of God is in everything He created, for His Son is everywhere. Look with peace upon your brothers, and God will come rushing into your heart, in gratitude for your gift to Him."
"You will no longer see what never was, nor hear what makes no sound. Is it a sacrifice to give up nothing, and to receive the Love of God forever?"
"If you would but let the Holy Spirit tell you of the Love of God for you, and the need that your creations have to be with you forever, you would experience the attraction of the Eternal. For no-one can hear Him speak of this, and long remain willing to linger here."
"The power of Heaven, the Love of God, the tears of Christ and the joy of His Eternal Spirit are marshalled to defend you from your own attack. For you attack THEM, being PART of them, and they must SAVE you, for they love themselves."
"Do not side with sickness in the presence of a Son of God, even if HE believes in it, for YOUR acceptance of God in him ACKNOWLEDGES the love of God which he has forgotten. Your recognition of him as PART OF GOD teaches him the truth about himself, WHICH HE IS DENYING."
"Let the love of God shine upon you by your acceptance of me."
"The Kingdom of Heaven is the right of the Soul, whose beauty and dignity are beyond doubt, beyond perception, and stand forever as the mark of the love of God for His Creations, who are wholly worthy of Him and ONLY of Him."
"The love of God, for a little while, must still be expressed through one body to another."
"God has already done all things that need be done. And I must learn I need do nothing of myself, for I need but accept my Self, my sinlessness, created for me, now already mine, to feel God's Love protecting me from harm, to understand my Father loves His Son; to know I am the Son my Father loves."
"For we will learn today what peace is ours when we forget all things except God's Love."
"Yet is the world of hatred equally unseen and inconceivable to those who feel God's Love in them."
"Now are they all made free along with us. Now are they all our brothers in God's Love."
"The only part of your mind that has reality, is the part that links you still with God. Would you have ALL of it transformed into a radiant message of God's Love, to share with all the lonely ones, who have denied Him with you?"
"God loves His Son."
"You can love ONLY as God loves. Seek not to love UNLIKE Him, for there IS no love apart from His. Until you recognize that this is true, you will have no idea WHAT LOVE IS LIKE."
"Like you, my faith and my belief are centered on what I treasure. The difference is that I love ONLY what God loves WITH me, and, because of this, I treasure you beyond the value that you set on yourselves, even unto the worth that God has placed upon you."
"Could you not look with greater charity, on whom God loves with perfect love? Do not interpret AGAINST His love for you."
"Every brother God loves as He loves you; neither less nor more. HE NEEDS THEM ALL EQUALLY, and so do YOU."
"God loves His Son forever, and His Son RETURNS his Father's love forever."