When considering whether this world is really a fixed objective reality, and whether your mind has any power over anything, it's worth considering the case of people with multiple personality disorders.
97% of people with multiple personalities develop it following extreme abuse or trauma. They develop often several or even hundreds of personalities - minds - seemingly living in the same body, and they switch between them.
The really fascinating part is that when a new personality or mind comes into control of the body, the body changes in dramatic ways that defy all medical science.
While one personality may have diabetes for example, when another personality takes over the body no longer has diabetes. Or while one personality has a severe allergy, another does not. The shape of the face changes as well.
There are even cases where the color of the eyes changes based on the personality, the speech patterns change as though the vocal chords themselves are altered, scars on the skin appear and disappear, chronic conditions appear to switch on and off.
It shows that the mind has tremendous power over the body and influence over its state, conditions, and appearance. As the course says:
"The mind makes this decision, as it makes all decisions which are responsible for the body's condition."
It becomes apparent that the only reason we seem to not "notice" this happening with most people is because most people's minds are relatively stable - or shall we say, chronic and fixed in their belief patterns. So they continually project almost the same body states all the time. And since these don't often change, it makes it seem like there is no causation from mind to body at all.
We could re-word that to say that, when a person has a long-term ongoing belief or unhealed grievance, they project this onto the body over a long period of time, manifesting as chronic disease and lasting conditions.
It's only when significant changes take place in the mind, or different minds or personalities come through, that you see dramatic changes in the physical form. And this then reveals just how much mind is constantly in a state of projecting and altering the body image. If you could get the average person to switch on and off certain deeply held beliefs or 'identities', you'd be astonished at the changes it has on the body.
It also reveals that if you do change your mind and heal the mind in significant ways, the body will dramatically change as well. Symptoms of disease and sickness can switch off in an instant. We can even go so far as to say that limbs can regrow, body parts can regenerate, and profound miracles can occur. And when you change your mind, the whole world must change.
"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind MUST BE STRONGER. Every miracle demonstrates this."
"Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly."
Say you have some illusions. Something that isn't true. It could be a physical thing, or some belief or whatever.
If your mind is open, it is open to the possibility of being mistaken, the possibility of not knowing, the possibility that the thing could be true or false. The mind isn't locked into some position or defending some viewpoint or prior belief. It's open to considering possibilities.
This openness allows you to "see" all of what is there, without filtering anything out with some kind of bias. It lets you recognize what things are, without distortions and without preferences. It's just sort of a way of saying, "tell me what you are", "what is this really?". it requires honesty and a willingness to be mistaken.
Open mindedness can allow you to see a mistake, recognize it as a mistake, and recognize that it needs correcting. It is a light which is open to everything, so it can see all sides and all angles, all perspectives. Including being able to see from a perspective of wholeness, which holds things in its light and in its true perspective to reveal what things really are.
Open-mindedness could be said to be the same thing as forgiveness. It's a mind that is willing to accept the truth regardless of what the truth is, and is not deceived by appearances. It's open to questioning what it sees and considering that it may or may not be true or real. It's the same thing as true perception - openness to the whole truth.
Sin on the other hand is a state of close-mindedness, which we could call false perception. You could call it narrow-mindedness as well. The mind narrows down and instead of being open to the whole, to everything, it becomes very focused and specific. It shuts out the peripheral vision, so to speak, and focuses only on what things appear to be on the surface.
A closed mind is not open to considering that anything is mistaken, or to questioning the reality or truth of anything at all. It takes everything at face value. Illusions are taken to be reality, lies are considered truth. Whatever seems to happen is believed to be really happening.
A closed mind also narrows down and homes in on specific things, so will focus on "what someone did" to the exclusion of all else. Even if the person has merit or does good dees in addition to their mistakes, sin focuses only on the mistakes and shuts out the good deeds.
Thus a closed mind becomes a darkened mind, focusing only on what people are doing wrong - given that everything in form is basically a mistake it turns everything into a sin. It mistakes illusions for truth and believes that whatever appears to be happening is permanently irreversibly true.
Sin has no openness to correction, to healing, to another viewpoint. It is very rigid and stuck and fixated on nothingness. It will not budge or allow any change to its viewpoint, or any way by which anything can be questioned. It takes everything as gospel and without question at all, accepting illusions into the mind without any sense of real perspective.
A sinful false perception therefore, a closed mind, does not see that there is even a possibility of mistakenness, a possibility of unintentionally, or of a need for gentle correction. It sees only deliberate evil acts, which appear to be utterly unforgivable, and sees that there is no other way to look at anything. It does not allow any openness to consider its position being flawed, or to register any sense of sin itself being a mistaken view.
As such a closed mind is an unforgiving mind, a mind which will not allow forgiveness because it will not question whether or not what happens is really happening. Whether that it sees is really there to see, or the truth at all. It believes it knows everything already, has all of the truth already, cannot be told anything new, and will not listen to reason. It won't consider the possibility of any alternative viewpoint, because to sin there is only one factual truth - you sinned and you should die for it.
As we awaken, we are moving from the viewpoint of sin - or closed-mindedness, and are opening up the mind and expanding our viewpoint so that we are more inclusive, more open, considerate, willing to question, willing to be mistaken, and willing to recognize that other people's choices are mistakes and not sins. This requires broadening the focal point and expanding it out to see the whole picture. To reframe everything in the light of the whole.
In forgiveness, everything false is recognised as false, without judgement. And everything true is recognised as true without distortion. It recognizes that all illusions are just mistakes, and there is no sin, because there is nothing closed off from the light of truth. The whole is recognised, perception is open to wholeness, and the whole informs everything. To forgive, you must open your mind and question illusions and let go of trying to make everything into a sin. There is no sin.
"What is forgiveness, but a willingness that truth be true? What can remain unhealed and broken from a Unity Which holds all things within Itself? There is NO sin. And EVERY miracle is possible the INSTANT that the Son of God perceives his wishes and the Will of God are One." UrT26H9
"Our lessons now are geared specifically to widening horizons, and direct approaches to the special blocks which keep your vision narrow, and too limited to let you see the value of our goal." UrW180 "Only by doing this is it possible to transcend the narrow boundaries the ego would impose upon the self." UrP3C8
"And if I need but stillness and a tranquil, open mind, these are the gifts I will receive of Him." UrW365
"It is therefore essential that you keep a perfectly open mind, unhampered by judgment, in selecting the things to which the idea for the day is to be applied." UrW3L2
"Accept atonement with an open mind which cherishes no lingering belief that you have made a devil of God's Son." UrW101
"Dwell not upon the past today. Keep a completely open mind, washed of all past ideas and clean of every concept you have made." UrW75L5
"An open mind is more honest than this." UrT12D3
"Healing will flash across your open mind as peace and truth arise to take the place of war and vain imaginings." UrW136L16
"The Savior's vision is as innocent of what your brother is as it is free of any judgment made upon yourself. It sees no past in anyone at all. And thus it serves a wholly open mind, unclouded by old concepts and prepared to look on ONLY what the present holds." UrT31G13
"It is to this unsealed and open mind that truth returns, unhindered and unbound. Where concepts of the self have been laid by is truth revealed exactly as it is." UrT31E16
This world is part of death.
Heaven, in which there is eternal life, is the only "place" where there is life. Everything this side of the separation idea, which includes this entire universe, this planet, and all bodies, is part of the idea of an opposite to life, thus death. This is why it's a "dream of death".
Everything in this world is dead. The course calls it "a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son".
You need to realize that only at the very, very highest level, squarely centered in Heaven, is there "life", because life must be eternal life and eternity is not outside of Heaven. That means that anything "outside" heaven, which is this universe and everything in it, is not life. It's an idea or picture of death.
So even while you are "living" your life and seem to be in relative health or having a body or "half dead" or totally dead and buried, all of that spectrum of "death and dying" is death. Not just the climax. The final moment of death is just a symbol of death WITHIN a dream of death.
"There is no life outside of Heaven" literally means that every form in this world is not life. "Heaven and Earth are opposite in every way". Earth is nothing like Heaven.
When we say, that we see God in the world because God is in my mind, this is a helpful idea and can be an experience but it is not well-worded considering how many people use it. It should say, this world is an idea WITHIN God, or at least more accurately we could say, I see God IN SPITE of the world because the world is in my mind and so is God.
We must be careful not to equate this world with heaven or with God. This world is an illusion. It does NOT EXIST and it is not heaven. There is at best a reflection of heaven here in this dream, which is not the same thing as being in heaven.
This world, a picture of death, must disappear, because death is an illusion, and all illusions must disappear. This is why this world holds nothing that you want. Who could want death to be real? It is not God's creation and it is nothing like the nature of God at all.
As the course teaches, you cannot see both worlds. The body's eyes behold a world which the ego made from death, and the "spiritual eye" (the one mind) sees only heaven. The bridge, in-between the two states, or the "forgiven world", is just a transitionary state in which the world of heaven is reflected and glimpsed.
Jesus refers to Heaven as a "living world". Earth, and this universe, is not a living world. It is a dead world. It is an idea of being dead. This is why Jesus says the idea of death is the last to go, and that when the idea of death goes, the entire world goes, because the entire world is founded on the idea of death, and everything in it is an idea of death.
If you were not dead already, you would not need to achieve resurrection, and resurrection would be meaningless. But resurrection is your goal because it means you have accepted atonement and returned to life. Returned to heaven, and left the world of illusory death behind.
There is no world. This is the central lesson the course would attempt to teach. Only God's creation, God's world of Heaven, the Kingdom, which is the extension of Himself, his holy creative thoughts, as the One Son, the many sons, and the sonship, sharing love IN HEAVEN.
Where is Jesus? He is in heaven. Why isn't he in the world? Because the world is not heaven. Where will Jesus be when his body disappears? Not in this world. Where will this world be when death is fully undone? Nowhere. What will REMAIN when a world of death has been undone and disappeared, recognized as having not existed at all? The only thing that will remain is God's Kingdom, which is HEAVEN, and you are part of it and all of it. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with this universe or this planet.
"The body is the central figure in the dreaming of the world. There IS no dream without it, nor does it exist without the dream, in which it acts as if it were a person, to be seen and be believed. It takes the central place in every dream, which tells the story of how it was made by OTHER bodies, born into the world OUTSIDE the body, lives a little while, and dies, to be united in the dust with other bodies, dying like itself. In the brief time allotted it to live, it seeks for other bodies as its friends and enemies. Its safety is its main concern. Its comfort is its guiding rule. It tries to look for pleasure, and avoid the things that would be hurtful. Above all, it tries to teach itself its pains and joys are different, and CAN be told apart."
You can see from statements like this, that the body is clearly identified as being PART OF A DREAM. Now, if you're considering whether or not the world ITSELF is a dream, or whether it's just your thoughts ABOUT the world that is a dream... consider what this says.
Firstly there is no dream without the body. That's a strong tie.Then we're told the body acts, within the dream, as if it were a person. So this places the body INSIDE a dream and its actions are INSIDE a dream.
It takes the central place IN every dream. INSIDE the dream.It tells a story of being made (childbirth, which is physical) by the dream. Meaning the body AND physicality are part of the dream.To be united in the dust (death) with other bodies, tells you that the dream comprises sickness and death of bodies along with graveyards and cemeteries.
Other bodies dying like itself tells you the physical conditions of things is part of the dream as well.
It seeks for other bodies as friends and enemies, as part of the dream, so all relationships in the world are also part of a dream.It seeks for comfort and pleasure, so now all comforts, all pleasures, sex, hobbies, etc, are all part of dreaming. And many of these are quite physical.
All of this is providing evidence that a dream is not merely a dream about the world, but that the dream ITSELF comprises the world, the body, other bodies, childbirth, relationships, physical sickness and death, comforts and pleasures, etc.... this is all dream.
As confirmed by "The body is a dream."
It's not merely that your perception of the body/world is a dream, or that your interpretation or thoughts about the world/body are a dream. But that the world ITSELF, fundamentally physical matter, IS a dream. It's a dream world, not a real world.
The whole planet is a dream. The whole galaxy is a dream. The whole universe is a dream. All the bodies and animals and plants and all matter is a dream. And dreams are not reality.
"The world IS perception" also tells you that the world ITSELF is perception, not just "seen by" perception.
"The world is false perception" also tells you that the world is utterly bound as part of falsely perceiving ITSELF. That mind is projecting a false world TO see, in the mind, as part of perception. This doesn't mean you perceive the world in terms of "I look at the world" like it's a separate thing. What it tells you is that your mind MAKES the world IN ITS PROJECTING, and then perceives it, and believes it's there and solid and real, when in fact it is just a PART OF perception itself. In your mind.
"You maintain the world in your mind with your thoughts."
"Both heaven and earth are in your mind."
That makes your mind pretty big and pretty powerful, given it houses an entire universe of galaxies. This is all dream stuff, and you are the dreamer of a universe of dreams. And dreams only happen while you sleep. After that, they go bye bye.
"As the world spins into the nothingness from which it came."
"Eternity will shine away the world."
"The stars will disappear in light."
"There is no world."
The body is supposed to be used as a communication device. This is much misundestood. What it means is that the body is to be used in a way that reflects our function of extension in heaven. We (mind/soul) are a MEDIUM or "communication channel" of extension, through which God is hosted and extends. We are to pass on what we receive. And this produces a continuous outward expansion and increase of creation. This is also communication - the outward expression of love.
"Creation and communication are synonymous. God created every mind by communicating His Mind to it, thus establishing it forever as a channel for the reception of His Mind and Will." That means, the body is supposed to, from a higher repurposing perspective, be used solely to extend and join and communicate, like a medium that you express THROUGH and BEYOND. Whereby you use it solely like a tool to give to others, placing no focus ON the body itself, or on the bodies of others. Because bodies become a LIMIT on communication if you make them real. They turn into brick walls.
The entire problem comes when you begin to focus ON the body, making it an idol, worshipping it, mistaking it for a THING in its own right, considering it an entity, dwelling on its form and function, and identifying with it as if it is your self. This converts the "channel" from being a channel, to being a roadblock in the channel. It turns the body into a blockage of separation instead of extension.
All of the minds attention is put ON the MEDIUM ITSELF, as if the medium itself is important. This separates the mind off because it now stops at the body's limits and does not go past it to join with other minds beyond their bodies. This increases the rift in the mind and induces all forms of sickness including death. It's a mis-use of the body - trying to use what's supposed to be a PIPE, as though it's a brick wall.
This is also why holy relationship is important because you're supposed to USE the body to relate BEYOND the body. It's only supposed to be used temporarily as a device for this purpose, and is not supposed to be used to exalt itself or to act as a prison or barrier. When you become body focused, you literally "lose sight" of your brother and yourself. It means we're turning a device for learning into the FOCUS of learning, as if trying to make the body BE something in its own right, which it isn't. The body is used for communication when the body ITSELF becomes NOTHING and invisible in the equasion.
"Help and healing are the normal expressions of a mind which is working THROUGH the body but not IN it. If the mind believes the body is its GOAL, it WILL distort its perception OF the body, and by blocking its own extension BEYOND it will INDUCE illness by FOSTERING SEPARATION. Perceiving the body AS A SEPARATE ENTITY cannot BUT foster illness, because it is not true. A medium of communication WILL lose its usefulness if it is used for anything else."
"To confuse a learning device with a curriculum GOAL is a fundamental confusion. Learning can hardly be meaningfully arrested at its own aids, and hope to understand them OR its real purpose. Learning must lead BEYOND the body to the re-establishment of the power of the mind IN it. This can be accomplished ONLY if the mind EXTENDS to other minds, and does not ARREST ITSELF in its extension. The arrest of the mind's extension is the cause of all illness, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND's FUNCTION. Block this, and you have blocked health because you have BLOCKED THE MIND's JOY."
"The Holy Spirit's purpose lies safe in your RELATIONSHIP, and NOT your bodies. You have ESCAPED the body. Where you are now, the BODY cannot enter, for the Holy Spirit has set HIS temple there."
"You CANNOT make the body the Holy Spirit's temple, and it will NEVER be the seat of love. It is the home of the idolater, and of love's CONDEMNATION. For here is love made fearful, and hope abandoned. Even the idols that are worshipped here are shrouded deep in mystery, and kept APART from those who worship them. This is the temple dedicated to no relationships, and no return."
"The Holy Spirit's temple is NOT a body, but a RELATIONSHIP. The body is an isolated speck of darkness; a hidden secret room, a tiny spot of senseless mystery, a meaningless enclosure carefully protected, yet hiding nothing. Here, the unholy relationship escapes reality, and seeks for crumbs to keep itself alive. Here it would drag its brothers, holding them here in its idolatry. Here it is "safe," for here love CANNOT enter. The Holy Spirit does not build His temples where love can never be. Would He Who SEES the face of Christ choose as His home the only place in all the universe where it can NOT be seen?"
For some time I've been confused about freedom.
A term I am often told by spirit is "you're free."
This always felt uncomfortable. It seems to allow me to do absolutely whatever I wanted to do.
It always seemed like spirit was giving me permission to do things, even things that seemed unhealthy. And this is because freedom really is unconditional, regardless of what you use it for.
Often when I would ask about what to do, whether to do something or not, they'd say "you're free". It didn't seem like a helpful response.
But I see now that it seemed to prefer to give me the freedom of choice, and to not impose any sense of one thing being more guilty than another.
Even so, I would often feel a need to then push further to ask for guidance or advice as to what to do - from someone who knows better. Because this freedom would also highlight that maybe what I was considering choosing wasn't in the spirit of freedom, ie was unloving in some way.
I still couldn't quite come to terms with "being free" though. I would ask my wife (in spirit) something for example, something perhaps relating to our relationship or earth life, and she would say "you're free". If it was ever a request about whether some kind of ego-need was 'okay', she's say I'm free.
In some way it almost seemed like a sort of "i'd prefer you don't do that, but do it if you want to" sort of begrudging. But I am sure it's my own mind that couldn't help but project that onto it.
I also struggled with the idea of being free in general, especially as it relates to my wife's passing and trying to move on and get over grief and loss.
She has been reminding me often "you're free". This hasn't always sat well, because it often was interpreted to mean "we're separate". I have since come to see that this is a sense of physical freedom - or a breaking of relationship, as though to say we have no relationship anymore, but that's not what it means.
It's finally sort of sinking in, especially from the huge download I received last night, that all this talk of freedom doesn't really mean what I thought it did.
I suddenly see now that freedom is really something that was given by God in my creation. It's a wholesale unlimited unrevokable freedom. And it has no strings attached, nor is there any suggestion of guilt for choosing one thing or another.
In this freedom is responsibility for choosing, the power to choose, the power to cause and create, and the inability to BE guilty. If we are free, and God has said "have at it", there is no coercion or requirement or pressure or punishment or judgement of any kind.
This has revealed the truth that, by being free I literally am free to come and go, free to choose, free to do one thing or another, with no strings attached anywhere. Strings are not of heaven or of God or spirit. Strings are conditions, part of conditional love. There are no chains or ties, no limits, no imprisonment.
We are all each one of us individually completely 100% free to dream or awaken, stay in hell or move toward heaven, remain suffering or regain our power, act like an effect or a cause, do evil things or good things, whatever. God does not forceable stop anything, but he does will and encourage us through his plan and help to choose a better way - a more loving happier way.
This is why I keep being told "you're free". It's a God-given right. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Whatever I want to do comes to pass. I a responsible for everything I experience. I consent to whatever I cause to happen. There is no victimhood, no specialness, no ties and no conditions.
It doesn't matter what I do, coming or going, advancing or retreating. God still loves me and so does all of heaven. I am guided gently forward and gently upward, and so long as I trust and have willingness I will return to God. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
"Forget not that the choice of truth or sin, power or helplessness, IS the choice of whether to attack or HEAL. For healing comes of POWER, and ATTACK of helplessness. Whom you attack, you CANNOT want to heal. And whom you would have healed, MUST be the one you chose to be PROTECTED from attack. And what IS this decision, but the choice whether to see him through the body's eyes, or let him be REVEALED to you through vision? HOW this decision leads to its effects is NOT your problem. But what you WANT to see, MUST be your choice. This is a course in CAUSE, and NOT effect." UrT21H8
From lesson 48: "There is nothing to fear."
"The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength. The awareness that there is nothing to fear shows that somewhere in your mind, though not necessarily in a place you recognize as yet, you have remembered God, and let His strength take the place of your weakness. The instant you are willing to do this there is indeed nothing to fear."
You would think that trusting yourself and depending on you own strength more would make you somehow more confident. You’d think that if you can just be braver or more stoic or aggressive or assertive, maybe you can be unafraid. Or that if you come across as powerful, others will not intimidate you.
But there is a metaphysical basis for what happens here. When you trust your own *separate* strength, you are actually putting distance between yourself and strength. God is strength. Innocence is strength. Being separate is a belief in not being with God, and not being innocent. So as you move into separation and into "your own" separated self, you move away from the inherent nature of God’s creation, away from divine protection.
This makes you weaker, lacking, uncertain, filled with doubt, afraid of punishment for the sin of being separate, guilty for rejecting God’s help, and thoroughly limits what you can do. No-one can be separate from God and live.
Anyone who has struggled in life can probably tell you that when you are trying to do everything on your own, it sucks bad. Trying to overcome problems and deal with stress and manage everything and to be some kind of separate superhero, absent of God’s help, has its major limits. Trying to "go solo" is suicide.
The more you do it, the more you *seem* to become some kind of heroic savior, or successful achiever, or person of pride, or someone who has conquered the world. You come across on the surface as invincible. Nothing could be further from the truth. The more that you try to become the ego’s version of invincibility, the more you will become vulnerable, fragile, paranoid, empty, weak and sick. Being the hero of the dream is a trap. This is why heroes die.
True strength is only possible when you share with God. True resilience, invulnerability, power, confidence, certainty, immovability and permanence can only be found by allowing God to be the one who supplies your every need. Without God, you are without life. Without God, you are alone and you now have to defend yourself against an entire world you see as willing against you. Without God there is weakness and death. You cannot live without God.
So if you are afraid, it is a sure sign that you are depending too heavily on "your own" strength. It’s strange to think that you are feeling afraid because you are believing that you are powerful. Or that you are afraid because you think you are tough. Or you are afraid because you believe you can do anything and everything and don’t need any help. Or you are afraid because you see yourself as not needing any help. But this is precisely the backwards effects which the ego produces, pretending it is going to help you to be more distinctly separate, when all it does is hurt you more.
If you are afraid, it means you are not trusting God right now. It means you are listening to the ego and are fantasizing about how powerful you are. Trying to be powerful without God makes you powerless. To have power over others against their will strips you of your power and turns you into a vulnerable victim. If you are afraid, you need to let go of trying to do this all on your own. The more you try, the more you will fail. Seek and do not find.
It is not necessary to do everything on your own. Nor is it a matter of being a separate hero and having Holy Spirit back you up or having mighty companions to support you and surround you. I used to do that more, trying to retain my separate will and have Holy Spirit as a kind of servant to do my bidding and make my separate problems go away.
It’s more a matter of surrendering control of what you think is "your life", which you are trying to will independently of God, and give your life back to God. Make room for Him to help you. Let Him share it with you. Let Him solve the problems and carry the burden. Let Him look after others for you. Allow the freedom of not having to carry the whole world on your shoulders. It’s too big for anyone to do so in isolation.
Share your life with God and you gain the power of God. Paradoxically, allowing Him to live through you will allow you to live forever. Letting Him take over and direct you specifically, and being willing to listen and learn and do, to follow direction, will be far better for you than the outcomes you are trying to manipulate into being. Controlling your will and making it oppose God’s is not ever going to work in your favor.
God has a plan. God knows how to fix stuff. God knows what everyone needs, including you. Let Him lead the way and there will be no fear. Trust Him, and all your worries will vanish.
"To the extent to which you identify with the ego's self, you will identify with the ego's strategy, and so you will become afraid of the power of your mind."
Ask Jesus what to do! Learn to ask Him more than you ask yourself. So often I am considering what to do or not do, relying on my own self to know and be able ego decide. Jesus says, "ask!"
"Before you choose to do anything, ask me if your choice is in accord with mine. If you are sure that it is, there will be no fear."
Perhaps one of the key features about the ego which many people do not realize, is that it is constantly attacking itself.
The ego IS the idea of self attack. It is the idea of you, attacking you. It is self destructive, which is why it leads to sabotage and suicide. It is just another word for your own will to will against your own will.
It would perhaps seem too insane to consider that the ego actually attacks itself on purpose, and this alone might deter you from even considering it. But the ego is not sane.
The ego is not like the kinds of people that you think are normal people. You think that due to separation, what one person does to another they do not do to themselves. You think that you can attack without consequences, or be attacked by another without them receiving the attack.
The ego's main plot here is the idea that, because you are separate from your brother, what applies to him does not apply to you. This allows both parties to get away with murder. Or appear to. And this creates an illusion in this world, as though it is "ego" to attack someone and get away with it.
But beware. This is a decoy!
If you fixate on this idea that one person does something to someone else, causing effects in them, without receiving the effects - which certainly APPEARS to be the case almost all the time due to separation, then you will not notice the ego's underlying insanity. You'll think that it makes total sense that something can apply to one person and not another, or that you can cause effects which you do not receive - ie giving and receiving at not one.
The ego's secret insanity is that it deliberately attacks itself, and it is NOT escaping the effects of the attacks it tries to cause, nor does it want to. It is both its own attacker and its own victim. It deliberately wants to hurt itself. It also seems to simultaneously want to get away from that hurt. It should be fairly obvious that it is completely insane, to the highest degree, for someone to want to intentionally harm themselves, consciously and deliberately, and to simultaneously enjoy and suffer doing so.
Anyone in their right mind would recognize that they are one with all brothers, and share a mind of oneness, and therefore what applies to you applies to everyone equally. In this mind of oneness it is impossible to cause or do anything without receiving the effects. It is therefore in your vested interest to share only love, that you will receive only love. But when you enter into the ego and attempt to give without receiving (which is attack), you can be sure you will experience attack.
The ego is clever at making cause and effect unconscious. It makes it SEEM as if attacking another will not attack yourself. But the ego is fundamentally insane. It IS the idea of self attack, and so attacks itself on purpose. It would sacrifice itself in the name of saving itself. It is constantly two-faced. You think that normal people have "one face" or one personality or one side to them.
The insane ego is never one-sided, it is always contradictory, hipocritical, self denying, a liar, a cheat, manipulative, and it is even capable of showing up as "good cop" and "bad cop" simultaneously.
I had a dream once where some creepy man was trying to get to me, and so I ran to escape and I did escape, and met another man on a hill who appeared at first to be helpful and welcoming. It seemed like he would help me to be safe. But what quickly became apparent, was that in fact this man was the same "person" as the other man - as if he was the same man in disguise. He was both of them. And so the ego's two-faced secret was revealed, that it is perfectly capable of playing the part of victim and victimizer, attacker and savior, enemy and hero, or any other polarities which makes it SEEM as if they are two completely unrelated separate things.
The ego's illusions are ALWAYS geared towards getting you to believe that one kind of illusion is better than another. That one way of behaving or less evil than another. That something will actually help you without hurting you. That a solution will work without any side effects. It's always bullshit. The ego is fundamentally insane and so always has in its back pocket some kind of "clause" or excuse or secret that disguises the fact that it has NO intention of making its solutions work, and it has NO interest in being truly helpful, because ALL of its sides and solutions take you away from wholeness.
We have to be careful to discern and listen and recognize, that both positive and negative are part of the ego thought system. Both good and bad, right and wrong, all opposites. The ego plays both sides of every argument and does not care who sins. It will happily fund every war and conflict on both sides just for the sake of increasing the conflict. It is fundamentally existing in a state of self conflict and being divided against itself, thwarting its own moves, willing against its own will etc.
This is why we have to learn that "this world holds nothing that I want"... because everything it offers, the "good" and the "bad", are both ego deceptions designed to get you to take a side and fall for one of two of its traps. It does not care one shit about which side you take or whether you go light or dark or right or wrong, so long as you fall for the trap of believing that one of two choices is better than the other and will save you. There is no salvation in the ego. All of its roads lead to hell.
The idea that the world is just a dream, may sound very simple. But to fully and completely embrace it is a very tall order. If the world is just a dream, it changes your ENTIRE relationship to everything, to all people and object and events and places. Every single happening is framed differently, every interaction has a different meaning, and every piece of physical matter is up for question.
To accept this idea intellectually is very easy. It makes a lot of sense. If you can see the logic behind it, that we made this world as an opposite to God, and is therefore not real, you can accept that as making sense.
But to live it, to deep dive into it, to apply it everywhere and at all times, to remember it in the midsts of all happenings, to use it in all relationships, and to completely uproot all previous beliefs is long term challenge.
For me, the seemingly logical and clear conclusion that the world is not real, has become so refined and polished that I can see nothing to contradict it. Like, it makes total sense on paper. However, I still have a vast repository of "other beliefs" which have been convinced otherwise over time.
Beliefs in bodies being real. Beliefs in being a body. Beliefs in other people being bodies. Beliefs in events happening. Beliefs in seriousness and importance. Beliefs in value and priorities and hierarchies of difficulty. Beliefs in justified reactions and ego emotions and normality and human nature. All of those things scream that the world is real.
So what I find is that although I understand it in theory, my mind and beliefs still are quite uncertain about this idea. I go towards it a little more only to find other beliefs springing up into awareness saying, "but what about....". And every SINGLE one of those beliefs is rooted in the belief that the world is reality. The basic opposite premise of the dream. Each one of them signals and testifies that this is not just a dream.
So the mind then finds itself pulled in two directions. One direction pulls toward the seemingly glowing new "idea" or light, that it's true the world is just a dream and nothing is happening and no-one has ever sinned. And the other direction pulls towards the old worn out darkness of nightmares and hell, that there is sin everywhere and no hope for salvation.
"Some of your greatest advances YOU have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats YOU have evaluated as success."
"If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind. I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching."
I will go towards the light of the truth, and the ego mind will go into doubt, which is fear. It will say, but what about this, and what about that.... there will be an uncertainty and a "not sure about this" and a "can this really be true?". There is a DIS-BELIEF.
"Ultimately, space is as meaningless as time. Both are merely beliefs. The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief."
And the fact is that EVERY single opposition to the truth has to be uprooted and corrected and dispelled in order to have NO OBJECTIONS to accepting the atonement. If there is even a slight reason why you might not trust the truth, or suspect that it is false, or have a slight confusion about whether it is true or false, then you will not whole-heartedly accept the salvation it offers. Atonement can only be fully accepted through TOTAL willingness and certainty.
So I keep "naturally" checking and re-checking, looking at what the course says, reminding myself of its facts, re-considering the possibility that I might be mistaken about this new idea. I can't help but be "open minded" about the possibility that it is WRONG, because my ego already believes it is wrong and this pulls me into entertaining its possibility. And until I am wholly certain of its truth, which has to run VERY deeply and fully, this will keep happening.
"Until this distinction is made, however, the vacillations between free and imprisoned will cannot but continue."
These vacillations are to be expected for anyone who is attempting to awaken from the dream. If the world IS a dream and we have been believing it is NOT a dream, but a reality, then our entire way of believing and thinking and perceiving is going to have to go through a 180-degree transformation. Or as Jesus puts it, the upside-down thought system has to be turned right-side up, and that means nothing short of a complete reversal of your thought system and "world view".
Reversing your thought system WILL entail nothing less than realizing that everything you thought was what you did NOT want, you want. Everything you thought was evil, is good. Everything you thought was good, is evil. And all ego beliefs which claim a lie are actually claiming something else. It requires a tremendous sorting out of what is TRUE and what is FALSE, and in this endeavor you WILL be mistaken throughout the process. Which is why it requires a little willingness to consider the possibility that something else might be true, beyond what you currently believe.
I approach and I retreat. I get closer to accepting and then the ego fear pops up. I use the confusion as an opportunity to find more clarity, and then advance forward again. Each time becoming a little and more convinced, not just in theory but in practice, in direct experience, of the world's unreality. Because if what ACIM says is true, then "awareness of dreaming" and "the body is a dream" must become my new reality, before I can go home to God.
One thing is for sure, the road home to God is winding with spluttering false starts and lurches and gradual progress."I can but choose to wander off a while, and then return. Your loving Voice will always call me back, and guide my feet aright.""He will return and go still farther, or perhaps step back a while and then return again."
"Let us return the dream he gave away unto the dreamer, who perceives the dream"
"The Second Coming is merely the return of sense."
As I recently have been undoing my own belief in my own sinfulness, which is also the general belief that sin is real, I've been coming up against challenges. I had several days of some pretty heavy "release" which was overwhelming.
Holy Spirit was glad that I could realize I was only releasing because I had been willing to let go of some old belief in my sinfulness/guilt, but also advised that I should be gentle and slow down a bit. Trying too hard to undo all of it so quickly.
A major cornerstone of what was releasing, was the feeling and belief of not being lovable by God, because of sin and guilt that I still think is true of me. So I was trying to dig all of that out. Even though that's worthwhile and helpful, in the big picture, we do have to pace ourselves a bit.
What came after this release, though, was a feeling of self-love the likes of which I have never felt before. For about half a day I just felt really soft and loving toward myself and others. This proves to me that this undoing of beliefs is very worth pursuing.
I've also noticed, as I "push" myself or challenge myself to question ... do I REALLY believe I am sinless? ... it is pushing into my awareness various beliefs that I have that I'm going to have to look at. Here are some of the strong ones which have been coming up for me lately, and these might be the same for you. I think these beliefs are strong because they have a lot of social support and emphasis. Beliefs like:
Cancer
Evil
Death
Unworthiness
Being attacked
Loss of a loved one
etc...
I've quite often heard the word "cancer" come up from my ego, at stupid times, and I know it's a false belief but it still comes up driven entirely by fear. And it comes up because I still believe in it. There has been so much attention given to cancer, making it seem REAL, making it out to be a huge dangerous threat, an enemy, that everyone is trying to avoid and attack etc. That has seeped into and formed a belief in me - my own doing really, but I've created this belief that it has truth and reality to it. So now that shows me that I have the job of undoing my belief that cancer has ANY reality to it whatsoever.
Similarly, I have started to come up against questioning whether "evil" is real. I found myself for a few days getting lost again in trying to figure out what evil IS, how it operates, WHY it is doing what it appears to be doing etc. I've had some experiences that involve "evil spirits", if you can call them that. They're not friendly. I cast one out of me a few months ago kind of by accident when Jesus was helping me with a healing. I felt it leave. And I've had other encounters.
In the illusory dream world they "seem" to exist, and putting any amount of attention on them may attract them. But also, fearing them is just as bad. The "fear that evil is real" is a quite fundemanal ego belief. As a belief that "evil is real" it must produce fear, which is the suggestion you don't want it but the belief in it is a choice to want it. You become scared because of your OWN belief in it being real, which sort of pushes you into a confrontation with the thing you want to get away from.
Ultimately these things are illusions and love has no opposite. Jesus told me that they are "just fear". Just as this whole world is based on fear. And fearing it is not helpful. We have to be firm in Christ and in truth. Belief in sin being real produces the conditions for the ego to attack in all its ways, not just through hellish beings. We are not meant to fear these things or try to get into trying to understand or explain them too much, because it's really easy to get lost in that.
I found myself getting lost in the attempt to figure out what and how and why these things exist, only to find myself feeling more afraid and to be in a stronger mode of "questioning". Being in a mode of questioning is not a mode of answers OR answer-finding. Jesus's instruction to me again was "decide", which I've come to learn means I am not a victim and have the power to choose, and if I choose to believe that these things are not real and that they have no effect on me, then THAT WILL BE my experience. If I choose to believe in them, I will experience them as such. I get to decide. If I am in indecision, I'm actually unconsciously choosing to believe evil is real.
So I think we have these quite basic, quite strong beliefs we have to unearth and sort out. There is nothing about evil that is other than just another description of the ego. And the Holy Spirit knows that the ego does not really exist. That needs to become our belief also, and then we will be in celebration and joy and safety and fearlessness, knowing this truth. The truth shall set you free of evil because there IS no real evil. Evil is just as much an illusion as everything else the ego made.
It's a bit of a challenge though... confronting these beliefs and being in that place of "uncertainty" about whether it MIGHT be true and real. The sense of threat that comes from actually really considering it to be a real possibility. And then feeling unsure whether to believe it is real or not. That just means we're trusting the ego too much and are choosing to make it real. We just need to keep chipping away at these beliefs and keep undoing them to get to the point where we can truly accept the Atonement fully and recognize illusions for what they are.