This idea, like the preceding one, can be used with any person, situation or event you think is causing you pain. Apply it specifically to whatever you believe is the cause of your upset, using the description of the feeling in whatever term seems accurate to you. The upset may seem to be fear, worry, depression, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy, or any number of forms, all of which will be perceived as different. This is not true. However, until you learn that form does not matter, each form becomes a proper subject for the exercises for the day. Applying the same idea to each of them separately is the first step in ultimately recognizing they are all the same.
When using the idea for today for a specific perceived cause of an upset in any form, use both the name of the form in which you see the upset, and the cause which you ascribe to it. For example:
"I am not angry at ____ for the reason I think."
"I am not afraid of ____ for the reason I think."
But again, this should not be substituted for practice periods in which you first search your mind for "sources" of upset in which you believe, and forms of upset which you think result.
In these exercises, more than in the preceding ones, you may find it hard to be indiscriminate, and to avoid giving greater weight to some subjects than to others. It might help to precede the exercises with the statement:
"There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind."
Then examine your mind for whatever is distressing you, regardless of how much or how little you think it is doing so.
You may also find yourself less willing to apply today's idea to some perceived sources of upset than to others. If this occurs, think first of this:
"I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. For the purposes of these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same."
Then search your mind for no more than a minute or so, and try to identify a number of different forms of upset that are disturbing you, regardless of the relative importance you may give them. Apply the idea for today to each of them, using the name of both the source of the upset as you perceive it, and of the feelings as you experience it. Further examples are:
"I am not worried about ____ for the reason I think."
"I am not depressed about ____ for the reason I think."
Three or four times during the day is enough.
Ok so, some people think it's not that big of a deal whether you think ACIM is non-duality or not. But it can have significant mental health effects which are no joke.
Let's remember that ACIM is a course in mind training, it is affecting and uprooting your whole belief system and bringing into question all your values. It's making you think about who and what you are, your identity, you relationship to others and the world. If you're going to undertake this course it's going to seriously threaten your sense of self and your worldview and everything you believe. This is THERAPY, and you're messing with your MIND here.
If you believe for example the non-dual lie that "there is no one out there", you become sociopathic. You stop caring about people, you start treating people like they don't matter or don't exist, and you stop respecting people's free will. You become apathetic and depressed and lonely. That is not good.
If you believe that no-one really has a self and your self does not exist, you will enter self denial and self destruction. You'll reason that it's the ego false self that doesn't want to be undone, but this far too often gets lumped in with not having any kind of a self at all. The son of God gets thrown under the bus. This produces self repression and depression.
When you also believe that there are no others or no real brothers or no permanent individuals, it radically affects how you relate to "people". You stop respecting people's free will because apparently they don't have any. Your sense of relationships breaks down. The people in your family that you love are all suddenly regarded as mindless illusory robots. None of this is good for your mental health.
Believing that you are one with everyone and there is only one of you here, that you are everyone, also can lead to massive guilt. You will start taking on responsible for everything that's happening in the world as though you are the one who is choosing it and making it happen. And now you have to carry the burden of everyone else's suffering, which can produce massive guilt.
There is merit to opening up to oneness but not at the expense of the self. Jesus refers to a massive expansion of the self (e.g. in the holy instant) - an expansion, not an annihilation. When oneness is taken too far to mean "you don't exist at all" or "you were never created', we're now into the authority problem. We're denying God's fatherhood, we're rejecting being his creation, we're denying that anyone else was ever created, and we're basically attacking the sonship. None of that is healthy for the mind.
People will claim it's not a big deal what you believe, but if you believe something that is so against the truth and start following that and living like it and behaving based on it, your entire relationship to the world and other people is going to change. And not for the better. If you're believing that ACIM is telling you you don't exist, other people don't exist, you were never created, there is no holy spirit, jesus is a metaphor, and other such nonsense, and you're believing it, you're going to be far WORSE off.
Can you imagine how distorted your mind will become when you start trying to regard all of the other people in the world as 100% fake? That they don't even have real minds or spirit or anything beyond the body? It's as bad as the belief that God made the world of illusions. It's going to send your mind down a totally wrong path towards even more ego, under the guise of trying to reduce the ego. It's going to split the mind further and make your mental health even worse.
I've had more than one person come to me in a state of feeling like near suicide because of gross misunderstandings about the course. One person was using our oneness as justification for why everyone's suffering was all her fault and felt horrendously guilty and paralysed. Another saw that the death of their partner was somehow a part of the non-duality teaching and was having horrible grief that they couldn't reconcile and so began to blame God for making the partner go away, harming their relationship with God and their own self.
Many quite serious and quite harmful things can come about if you get your facts misaligned and start following a belief system that is fundamentally flawed. There are people doing this course who for example develop physical sicknesses as defences against the truth. Just as it describes in the book. We're not just playing with ideas here. This isn't about discussing and debating on facebook. People's actual lives and minds are being distorted and damaged and made to be more insane by incorrect beliefs about what it's teaching. Some people are quite seriously lost and distraught and feeling awful because of the non-duality lie.
I know I was. I bought into it and believed it. I believed, just as some prominent ACIM teachers taught, that I didn't really have a self and other people didn't really exist. All in the name of being more 'oneness'. And I felt depressed by this. And I was told that this was just the ego not wanting to be found to be non-existent. An attempt to justify it. But when I finally realised this is NOT what ACIM is teaching, I felt such incredible relief that I cried with joy at realising that I actually AM a child of God, permanently. And I never looked back.
We need to stop perpetuating bullshit lies about A Course in Miracles. It is not just a matter of being right or debating or having heated discussions or following what people think it means. It's having significant affects on people that believe and follow these models of reality. It's not helping anyone to tell them that they don't exist and that everyone they love doesn't exist and no-one is out there and there's no basis for miracles and no reason to help anyone and all you gotta do is selfishly accept atonement and get out of here.
"I trust my brothers, who are one with me." W181
"In the holy instant, God is remembered, and the language of communication with ALL your brothers, is remembered WITH Him. " UrT15G8
"YOU, who are NOT at war, must look for brothers and RECOGNIZE all you see AS brothers, because ONLY EQUALS ARE AT PEACE." UrT7E2
"For you dwell in the Mind of God WITH your brother, for God Himself did not will to be alone." UrT10B3
"I am not weak, but strong.
I am not helpless, but all powerful.
I am not limited, but unlimited.
I am not doubtful, but certain.
I am not an illusion, but a reality.
I cannot see in darkness, but in light."
More...
I am not mortal but immortal.
I am not sick but healthy.
I am not dying but eternal.
I am not afraid but confident.
I am not a victim but empowered.
I am not guilty but innocent.
I am not sinful but holy.
I am not lost but united.
I am not alone but one.
I am not forgotten but remembered.
I am not upset but peaceful.
I am not unhappy but joyful.
I am not attacked but safe.
I am not hopeless but grateful.
I am not deprived but abundant.
I am not lacking but receiving.
I am not hurt but invulnerable.
I am not suffering but relieved.
I am not affected but causal.
I am not stuck but miraculous.
I am not imprisoned but free.
I am not angry but calm.
I am not condemned but forgiven.
I am not dark but light.
I am not separate but whole.
I am not an ego but as God created me.
I am not confused but clear.
I am not diseased but healed.
I am not broken but complete.
I am not isolated but expansive.
I am not asleep but awake.
I am not unconscious but aware.
I am not deadly but harmless.
I am not murderous but welcoming.
I am not a victimizer but truly helpful.
I am not misguided but directed.
I am not ugly but beautiful.
I am not depressed but happy.
I am not unwilling but willing.
I am not resistant but open.
I am not ill but well.
I am not damned but saved.
I am not in exile but in heaven.
I am not a body but spirit.
I am not a dream but God's creation.
I am not fictional but authentic.
I am not divided but undivided.
I am not adrift but purposeful.
I am not threatened but permanent.
I am not rejected but loved.
I am not abandoned but embraced.
I am not in hell but in God.
I am not offended but humored.
I am not suspicious but trusting.
I am not vicious but gentle.
I am not ashamed but appreciative.
I am not envious but fulfilled.
I am not idolizing but within.
I am not heroic but saved.
I am not horrified but passer-by.
I am not judging but forgiving.
I am not hateful but generous.
I am not resentful but thankful.
I am not in danger but protected.
I am not disgusting but acceptable.
I am not beyond help but supported.
I am not embarrassed but understood.
I am not grieving but reunited.
I am not controlled but powerful.
I am not terrified but strong.
I am not worried but filled with faith.
I am not dead but eternal life.
I am not lonely but home with God.
I am not sad but overjoyed.
I am not insane but sane.
I am not delusional but honest.
I am not empty but inspired.
I am not insecure but secure.
I am not anxious but reassured.
I am not cold but warm.
I am not tense but relaxed.
I am not disturbed but quiet.
I am not stressed but at ease.
I am not serious but playful.
I am not harsh but kind.
I am not weak but supernatural.
I am not in time but in eternity.
I am not separate but with God.
I am not weak, but strong.
I am not helpless, but all powerful.
I am not limited, but unlimited.
I am not doubtful, but certain.
I am not an illusion, but a reality.
I cannot see in darkness, but in light.
Let's continue...
I am not afraid, but confident.
I am not confused, but clear.
I am not lost, but found.
I am not false, but true.
I am not alone, but unified.
I am not separate, but one.
I am not lacking, but complete.
I am not guilty, but sinless.
I am not sinful, but innocent.
I am not in pain, but in health.
I am not deceived, but assured.
I am not deprived, but grateful.
I am not dead, but eternal.
I am not hopeless, but joyful.
I am not angry, but peaceful.
I am not worried, but reassured.
I am not forgetful, but aware.
I am not unconscious, but knowing.
I am not pressured, but free.
I am not tense, but relaxed.
I am not upset, but calm.
I am not hateful, but forgiving.
I am not hurt, but healed.
I am not harmful, but a blessing.
I am not ego, but Christ.
I am not a body, but immortal spirit.
I am not blameful, but welcoming.
I am not a liar, but truthful.
I am not pretentious, but honest.
I am not vengeful, but gifted.
I am not forgotten, but known.
I am not rejected, but loved.
I am not abandoned, but supported.
I am not evil, but pure.
I am not a dream, but God's Creation.
I am not a fantasy, but genuine.
I am not suffering, but a blessing.
I am not undone, but immortal.
I am not grieving, but reunited.
I am not lonely, but helped.
I am not sorrowful, but relieved.
I am not stressful, but blissful.
I am not in danger, but safe.
I am not hopeless, but saved.
I am not condemned, but forgiven.
I am not unloveable, but loving.
I am not unhappy, but joyous.
I am not depressed, but liberated.
I am not diminished, but enlightened.
I am not starving, but nourished.
I am not limited, but abundant.
I am not harsh, but gentle.
I am not cold, but heartfelt.
I am not fallen, but ascended.
I am not extinct, but omnipresent.
I am not troubled, but sane.
I am not a sinner, but a savior.
I am not ugly, but beautiful.
I am not without, but within.
I am not a reject, but chosen.
I am not meaningless, but meaningful.
Add one of your own...
If their ego is strong, or they are afraid, sharing the truth with them may be grossly misinterpreted.
Your belief in the truth is admirable. Your conviction and faith in it is well placed. And you wish therefore that everyone would simply see this same truth and be set free.
However, this is assuming that people are PERCEIVING CORRECTLY, and that just by sharing truth they will "get it".
People are not perceiving correctly when they are "in need" of help. Therefore if you share truth with them, they will see their own misperceptions in it, will interpret it as an attack (at least at first), and will reject it.
People WANT to be unconscious and asleep. People WANT to be sick. If you try to take that away from them when they aren't ready or willing, or push them too fast, you will just continue to scare the shit out of them.
This is an error I have made many times. Allowing someone to stay in suffering is quite a challenge, especially if they do not want to be helped. It's a challenge to accept them unconditionally regardless of their willingness to change.
If someone is insane and hallucinating and you show them something that is true, they will not see it as it is. They will see what they mis-perceive in it. They will see their ego reflected back. This will frighten them. They will react to this frightening perception by blocking it, making them sick.
Jesus warns us against trying to perform miracles all of the time because, in some cases, the person's reaction to something "miraculous" happening could frighten them even more than the amount of fear you were trying to heal.
This is perhaps also why God doesn't just rush in and scoop everyone up "forceably". Love does not force. It has infinite patience. So we need to learn to be discerning and allowing, letting people have their chosen suffering even if that's all they can accept for now. Slowly and eventually they will come around.
The more you try to help, save, fix, heal, liberate, etc, the more you may be pushing someone into reactions and defenses which are making them sicker.
If you try to shove Course truth down someone's throat when they are unwell or afraid, it may make them even more depressed. Mis-perceptions are the problem, they interfere with communication, they impose a "learning disability", and make it harder to correctly reach someone.
Unless perhaps you are Christ or Holy Spirit and know exactly what is most appropriate. But even then, the person has to have willingness to allow themselves to be helped. If you step away from their help, they will not force it on you.
In Lesson 128 Jesus clearly outlines that this world has nothing that you want.
"The world you see has nothing that you need to offer you; nothing that you can use in any way, nor anything at all that serves to give you joy."
"Each thing you value here is but a chain that binds you to the world, and it will serve no other end but this."
He is clearly saying in this passage and many others that the physical world we made, is nothing, is worth nothing, has no value, and no meaning. It can do nothing for you, it can add nothing to God's creation, and you do not want it.
UrT8F2 "The world can ADD nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons, but it CAN blind the Sons to the Father if they behold it. You cannot behold the world and know God. Only one is true."
When you really closely look at the nature and functioning of this world, which is devouring and destroying, the picture can become very bleak and pointless. After all, if everything eventually dies in the end, this invalidates the point of doing anything at all.
Why bother when everything you build will crumble and be destroyed, when everything is futile and nothing lasts? Indeed it is a world of utter hopelessness and empty promises and lost causes. We are asked to look at this and accept that this is its nature so that we can save ourselves a great deal is misery expecting it to turn out differently, because the world has disappointed us even since time began. We need to recognize it is NOT what God wills for us and it is NOT what we want.
However, Jesus goes onto say in the next lesson that we cannot stop there, because if we make the world seem like it's all that exists and we point out its utter bleakness and the shit-show that it is, we will become depressed. If we really are willing to recognize there is NO hope in the world at all, and it has NOTHING to offer, we need something else of greater merit and real hope to choose instead. ie there MUST be a better way, and reality HAS to be better than this.
Lesson 129 "You cannot stop with the idea the world is worthless, for unless you see that there is something else to hope for you will only be depressed."
Many of us do not want to look at the worthlessness of the world and we still have "false hopes" that it can be redeemed. Some of us even want to turn it into a heaven-on-earth scenario. But perhaps we don't realize that the laws of physics will always be the determiner of the way it functions, and is the direct cause of all its deathly ways and cruel scenarios and chaotic outcomes. Because it is governed by laws of death.
UrT1B37AE "The thing to do with a desert is to LEAVE."
Jesus therefore tells us in Lesson 129 that there is ANOTHER WORLD that we do want, a world where there is permanent happiness and peace and love and light and joy forever. A world in which there is no sickness or death. A living world of light in which we have our home in God, safe from all attack and from death itself. That is a world that we can truly have hope for and want and choose instead of the sorry world we made. But why would you WANT to go there if you think THIS world has something worth keeping you bound?
In Lesson 130 we then go on to be informed that we cannot see both of these worlds. When you see one of them it is precisely because you are denying the other. Since they are opposites, the ability to see one of them derives from the "projection makes perception" rule, meaning that you can only see the light while you're not seeing the darkness, and vice versa. Either you see the world of form or the world of spirit. Reality or unreality are your only options.
So that now tells us that if we want to truly find hope of freedom and escape from the hell that is planet Earth, prison planet of death and murder and hatred, then we need to change what we value. We need to want and value and desire to see another world that is sane and true and holy. A world God created instead of a dead-end of suffering and death that we tried to make without him. If we want to see that other world we're going to have to DENY this one.
W130 "It is impossible to see two worlds which have no overlap of any kind. Seek for the one; the other disappears. But one remains. They are the range of choice beyond which your decision cannot go. The real and the unreal are all there is to choose between, and nothing more than these."
"This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. YOU CANNOT SEE BOTH WORLDS, for each of them involves a different kind of seeing, and depends on what you cherish. The sight of one is possible because you have denied the other." UrT12G1
Note that it says it depends on what you cherish, which means what you value and want and find to be your heart's treasure. What is meaningful to you, what is important to you, what you prioritize and want to see more of. If your focus is on vigilance for the Kingdom of God, then it means you love the Kingdom and want it and become one with it, making it a part of you and immersing yourself into it. And by doing so you turn your back on the world and forget it and no longer see it.
W306 "What but Christ's vision would I use today, when it can offer me a day in which I see a world so like to Heaven that an ancient memory returns to me? Today I can forget the world I made."
W198 "Accept the one illusion which proclaims there is no condemnation in God's Son, and Heaven is remembered instantly; the world forgotten, all its weird beliefs forgotten with it, as the Face of Christ appears unveiled at last in this one dream. "
So basically right now the only reason you are seeing planet earth is because you are still convinced that you WANT TO. You still value something about it. You still therefore think it HAS value, is important, is worthwhile, has meaning, is true, is to be cherished, has something you want, serves you, provides for you, gives you stuff you like, and is filled with your idols. All of this has to be surrendered and recognized as false and nothing if you are to choose another world.
The course therefore is really asking us to turn around and move back towards heaven, back to reality, to the light, to the truth of God and his world. The Kingdom he created to be permanent and loving forever. A Kingdom so unlike this world that at first it may seem alien to you, and yet familiar as your true home. But to see it, we have to learn to develop "vision" and open the mind's eye. And to do that you have to value it and want it.
UrT18B3 "That was the first projection of error outward. The world arose to hide it, and became the screen on which it was projected, and drawn between you and truth."
We're asked therefore to change our focus and fix our sight on God. To try to pierce the veil of illusions that hangs heavily between you and reality. To find a way with your mind and with the Holy Spirit to overlook (forgive) the world, NOT see it, see through and BEYOND it to the light, and therefore look upon reality/the real world.
UrW158L7 "Christ's vision has one law. It does not look upon a body and mistake it for the Son whom God created. It beholds a light beyond the body; an idea beyond what can be touched, a purity undimmed by errors, pitiful mistakes, and fearful thoughts of guilt from dreams of sin. It sees no separation. And it looks on everyone, on every circumstance, all happenings and all events, without the slightest fading of the light it sees."
This is what the course is driving at - restoring the ability to see reality again to the sheer extent that the world of illusions, of form and bodies and sin and death, is no longer seen at all. And heaven is all that remains in our sight. Right before you melt back into God, infuse back into heaven, and immerse yourself back into communion with the Sonship.
UrU5A4 "The world stands like a block before Christ's face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."
What seems to happen to the body, does not happen to the soul. The son of God is utterly unchanged and unaffected, even by physical death.
If we look to the body and see what the mind has mistakenly made of it, attacking it and disfiguring it with guilt, producing symptoms and sicknesses and disabilities, and if we regard these changes as truly happening to the person, we are mistaken.
It's more like a car that gets some dents in it, but the car driver is unscathed. If we regard the body as the person we'll start to feel awful at what has happened to the person, terrorised by their maladies, and deeply upset at the loss of their perfection. Especially if the body is driven all the way to death and destruction.
But this has to be mistaken. A person is not a body, and a body is not a reality. It is just a symbol in a dream. It's something that the mind projects a shadow of its guilts onto, which show up as physical forms. But the body is just an empty shell, and not the pilot. It's just an outer casing. Its condition doesn't really say that the soul or son of God has been wounded.
The interesting part perhaps is that even though this is true, the mind of the sufferer seems capable of experiencing the body's conditions as though they are real. There can be experiences of pain and torment, of sadness and loss, of fear and guilt and shame, revolving around the body. There can be upsetting sensations and troubling conditions and aches and pains and all manner of ways to suffer, and somehow the mind can experience these as though "real suffering."
But even if the mind if seeming to experience body conditions as real suffering, the soul still does not experience them as real suffering. The mind can be confused, and in effect suffering is a psychological thing. If the mind can be purified it cannot feel pain, or conceive of sickness, and instead heals the body and makes sickness impossible.
So when someone is sick and it seems that their sickness is making them suffer, and they feel depressed and upset, and in agony of pain and screaming in dis-ease, this still does not prove that something is really happening to the person. It's still a mistaken state of mind on top of a mistaken state of body, covering up a completely unmistaken central core of perfection.
So it's our job as a miracle worker to not be deceived, either by the physical appearance of disfigurement, or the psychological interaction with that disfigurement by the person's mind. Both are states of mistakenness. If we buy into it we support it, and have ourselves become mistaken, confused about the truth, deceived about a lie, associating a soul with a body or mind, and are now just as lost in the false empathy of suffering.
Ultimately there is nothing really going wrong. It's all an illusion, at both min and body levels. The reality of the soul or son of God is always immortal and perfect.
"The Soul never loses its communion with God. Only the mind and body need Atonement. The miracle joins in the Atonement of Christ by placing the mind in the service of the Spirit. This establishes the proper function of mind, and abolishes its errors." UrT1B27E
This is the thought which follows from the one we practiced yesterday. You cannot stop with the idea the world is worthless, for unless you see that there is something else to hope for you will only be depressed. Our emphasis is not on giving up the world, but on exchanging it for what is far more satisfying, filled with joy, and capable of offering you peace. Think you this world can offer that to you?
It might be worth a little time to think once more about the value of this world. Perhaps you will concede there is no loss in letting go all thought of value here. The world you see is merciless indeed, unstable, cruel, unconcerned with you, quick to avenge and pitiless with hate. It gives but to rescind, and takes away all things that you have cherished for a while. No lasting love is found, for none is here. This is the world of time, where all things end.
Is it a loss to find a world instead where losing is impossible? Where love endures forever, hate cannot exist, and vengeance has no meaning? Is it loss to find all things you really want and know they have no ending, and they will remain exactly as you want them throughout time? Yet even they will be exchanged at last for what we cannot speak of, for you go from there to where words fail entirely, into a silence where the language is unspoken and yet surely understood.
Communication, unambiguous and plain as day, remains unlimited for all eternity. And God Himself speaks to His Son as His Son speaks to Him. Their language has no words, for what they say cannot be symbolized. Their knowledge is direct and wholly shared and wholly one.
How far away from this are you who stay bound to this world. And yet how near are you when you exchange it for the world you want. Now is the last step certain; now you stand an instant's space away from timelessness. Here can you but look forward, never back to see again the world you do not want. Here is the world that comes to take its place as you unbind your mind from little things the world sets forth to keep you prisoner there. Value them not, and they will disappear. Esteem them, and they will seem real to you.
Such is the choice. What loss can be for you in choosing not to value nothingness? This world holds nothing that you really want, but what you choose instead you want indeed! Let it be given you today. It waits but for your choosing it to take the place of all the things you seek but do not want.
Practice your willingness to make this change ten minutes in the morning and at night, and once more in between. Begin with this:
"Beyond this world there is a world I want.
I choose to see that world instead of this,
For here is nothing that I really want."
Then close your eyes upon the world you see, and in the silent darkness watch the lights that are not of this world light one by one until where one begins, another ends, loses all meaning as they blend in one.
Today the lights of Heaven bend to you, to shine upon your eyelids as you rest beyond the world of darkness. Here is light your eyes cannot behold. And yet your mind can see it plainly, and can understand. A day of grace is given you today, and we give thanks.
This day we realize that what you feared to lose was only loss. Now do we understand there is no loss. For we have seen its opposite at last, and we are grateful that the choice is made. Remember your decision hourly, and take a moment to confirm your choice by laying by whatever thoughts you have, and dwelling briefly only upon this:
"The world I see has nothing that I want.
Beyond this world there is a world I want."
Today's idea does not describe the way you see yourself now. It does, however, describe what vision will show you. It is difficult for anyone who thinks he is in this world to believe this of himself. Yet the reason he thinks he is in this world is because he does not believe it.
You will believe that you are part of where you think you are. That is because you surround yourself with the environment you want. And you want it to protect the image of yourself which you have made. The image is part of it. What you see while you believe you are in it is seen through the eyes of the image. It is not vision. Images cannot see.
The idea for today presents a very different view of yourself. By establishing your Source it establishes your identity, and it describes you as you must really be in truth. We will use a somewhat different kind of application for today's idea, because the emphasis for today is on the perceiver, rather than on what he perceives.
For each of the three five-minute practice periods today, begin by repeating today's idea to yourself, and then close your eyes and search your mind for the various kinds of descriptive terms in which you see yourself. Include all of the ego-based attributes which you ascribe to yourself, positive or negative, desirable or undesirable, grandiose or debased. All of them are equally unreal because you do not look upon yourself through the eyes of holiness.
In the earlier part of the mind-searching period, you will probably emphasize what you consider to be the more negative aspects of your perception of yourself. Toward the latter part of the exercise period, however, more self-inflating descriptive terms may well cross your mind. Try to recognize that the direction of your fantasies about yourself does not matter. Illusions have no direction in reality. They are merely not true.
A suitable unselected list for applying the idea for today might be as follows:
"I see myself as imposed on."
"I see myself as depressed."
"I see myself as failing."
"I see myself as endangered."
"I see myself as helpless."
"I see myself as victorious."
"I see myself as losing out."
"I see myself as charitable."
"I see myself as virtuous."
You should not think of these terms in an abstract way. They will occur to you as various situations, personalities, and events in which you figure cross your mind. Pick up any specific situation that occurs to you, identify the descriptive term or terms which you feel are applicable to your reactions to that situation, and use them in applying today's idea. After you have named each one, add:
"But my mind is part of God's. I am very holy."
During the longer exercise periods, there will probably be intervals in which nothing specific occurs to you. Do not strain to think up specific things to fill the interval, but merely relax and repeat today's idea slowly until something occurs to you. Although nothing that does occur should be omitted from the exercises, nothing should be "dug out" with effort. Neither force nor discrimination should be used.
As often as possible during the day, pick up a specific attribute or attributes which you are ascribing to yourself at the time, and apply the idea for today to them, adding the idea to each of them in the form stated above. If nothing particular occurs to you, merely repeat the idea to yourself, with closed eyes.
The idea of your persona is that it rejects everything you don't like, keeping only the good stuff.
If you get really good at using your persona, you will get really brutal at cutting out things which seem even remotely bad.
Eventually you'll be trying to be SO good and perfect, that there will be practically nothing left to relegate to your 'bad' category. Like you hear people saying, "nothing is ever good enough for them" - a sign of a lack of self acceptance.
And if that carries on, there will be nothing left to get rid of, you will cease to exist. Death.
So you can see, the persona, which seems all sweet and nice and special and important, glowing with a false innocence, is in fact the ego's wish to destroy you, piece by piece, by gradually stripping off more and more parts of you and relegating them to hell, in the pursuit of 'being a God'. And along the way it will complement you on how fantastic your 'good bits' are, even though your 'good bits' are soon to come under scrutiny.
The persona attacks everything that is contrary to what it wants to keep. And its eventual mission is the total removal of absolutely everything that could be conceived of as less than absolutely perfect. It thinks that by doing this, what you'll end up with is some kind of totally 'perfect self'. The perfect ego, a shining glory, the jewel in the crown.
It should be clear that the only ambition the ego really has is to get rid of you. The only purpose of the persona is to slice you up and separate you out and throw large chunks in the trash. What it keeps, it temporarily exalts like some kind of hero or savior or idol. But slowly it continues to find flaws in that idol, demanding even more vigorous 'purification' and sacrifice.
It says, well, if you give this up, and give that up, you'll be better off. It tells you you don't need all of what is, you only need the special good bits. But it doesn't tell you what happens if you take that to its ultimate goal. Keep going, and there will be nothing left of you. You'll live in a world where everything and everyone seems like your enemy, you are totally cut off and alone, depressed and frightened and weak, barely recognizing that you even exist, BUT .... drumroll... you'll have your perfect little fake self. Yay. And then you'll die alone.
So you can see... as you dabble even a little bit in being dishonest, inauthentic, not yourself, or trying to manipulate reality to get some kind of special value, special attention, special love... you're basically buying into a death trap. The temptation is you will indeed seem to get some special love, but.... it calls for a sacrifice. You've got to give up an arm and a leg for it. And then it's still not enough.
This is the promise the ego has for you. Go along with its plan for salvation, seem to achieve some kind of fake goal, or seem to find some kind of fake trophy, or seem to present yourself as some kind of ruler of the universe, and, in return, all of the rest of what you really are will be suppressed and attacked and gotten rid of.
Ultimately, the ego's perfectionism guarantees that NOTHING is acceptable. And sooner or later this will become apparent. Until you wake up and realize there has to be a better way.
You don't need a persona. You don't need an ego. You have God.
If I react differently to each person, or in each situation, I am not being unconditional. I think that one response is appropriate for one situation, another in a different situation. And in this way, my ego becomes locked into and engaged with the FORM of the situation. If someone becomes angry, I react with sternness. If someone is kinder, I react with kindness. This is conditionality.
I didn't really realize that I was doing this all the time. I was giving back a response based on what I received from the person, instead of giving a response based on what I received from God!
It is very challenging to be loving all the time, in spite of and regardless of ego appearances. Our ego is easily triggered when other people act unlovingly. It's also easy to buy into the appearance that something has gone wrong with someone's life and that they're guilty of a fault. It may seem true in form that they are doing something, but my reaction doesn't HAVE to mirror that guilt/attack back to them.
Being able to love all the time totally flies in the face of what the ego shows us and completely denies all ego illusions the power to change us. I have been going through this lesson recently, learning that ONLY LOVE works in a dire situation, and ONLY LOVE can make a difference. All of my other reactions and manipulations and misperceptions and emotional reactions did nothing but make the situation worse.
Unconditionality is very much contrary to how the ego operates. It wants difference and change and special conditions placed on all interactions. When someone is happy, you love them. What about when they are depressed, or violent, or insane, or severely upset? Can you overlook that and LOVE THEM?
I found myself coming face to face with my own inner inability to love, as situations pushed and challenged me to love unconditionally. I said to Jesus "I cannot love that"... and I couldn't. Or I believed I couldn't. It wasn't true. It's just that I was being forced to have to love when my ego didn't want to and so I had to move PAST my ego (overlook/forgive) in order to love anyway.
It seems hard to do this at first. I like many are so used to just having the normal automatic ego reactions. And the ego is especially very TEMPTING in trying to pull us into its drama, to get us to believe that something has gone wrong. Holy Spirit's advice to me in the face of ridiculous ego absurdity was LAUGH! It seemed completely inappropriate, and it was actually hard to find a laugh, but I did it.
Gradually I'm growing more capable of loving unconditionally even when faced with ego bullshit, and, the cool thing is, that this means that in order TO love unconditionally, I have to learn to put aside my own ego self-attack, which fails to love myself unconditionally, and as a result, the more I choose unconditional love the more I seem to gain some kind of... invulnerability to the ego's temptations. Situations seem to be bothering me less, or they are not latching onto me as easily. I am having less reactions. Things which would've upset me, I've had to overlook, and that means I'm no longer as deceived by the ego. Yay.
So now it's more a question of, a situation happens, and then REGARDLESS of what the situation looks like, choosing to only come from love, in the heart, rather than all the other 'reasons' for responses of the ego which come from the head. Just plainly ignoring everything, ignoring how it looks, ignoring appearances, ignoring the form of the situation, ignoring what the ego is demonstrating, and then demonstrating unconditional love instead. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU ANYWAY!
The challenge is to keep this up all the time. To come from love, all the time. ALL the time. Not just sometimes. Love love love love love love love love love.
In ACIM Jesus sometimes says some things which would be .... possibly offensive... to many people. These truth bombs don't go so far as to point fingers or to try to make people guilty, but it's quite likely that people will either feel guilt or anger about it. For example when he says basically that all sick people are trying to kill others through contagion. ....
"A sick and suffering you but represents your brother's guilt; the witness which you send, lest he forget the injuries he gave, from which you swear he never will escape. This sick and sorry picture YOU accept, if only it can serve to punish him. *****The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill*****. Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
He's literally saying that those of us who choose sickness, or really any form of victimhood or suffering, even fear, are ATTACKING others. "The ego's purpose is FEAR, because only the fearful can be egotistic."
"frightened people are apt to be vicious"
"those who are afraid are apt to be vicious"
This isn't exactly sugar-coating anything or walking on eggshells. Again he doesn't linger on it such as to try to make people feel guilty for it or worsen their state, but he IS literally saying that if you are afraid you are being vicious. That fear is a state of attacking others.
You'll notice that in both sickness and in fear, it always SEEMS like we're victims. Someone or something else is causing it. WE didn't cause it. WE aren't doing anything! WE are the innocent one! As little victims we get to portray ourselves with the "face of innocent", exonerated and harmless and helpless. SO THAT someone else can play the role of victimizer, accusers, inflicter of wounds and source of viciousness.
But let's make no mistake either that if we go into fear, we ARE in fact attacking love, trying to oppose love, and are trying to bring about a state of love's absence. We might not LIKE how it feels, but we're willing to do it for a payoff of ACCUSING someone else of causing it. It's part of how we scapegoat and project our sins onto others. So the fearful are actually frightening THEMSELVES by projecting "the cause of sin" onto someone else, making themselves the EFFECT of their own efforts to attack.
Similarly with sickness, no one seems to really WANT to be sick. Sickness sucks bigtime. Pain is a bitch. But we put sickness there so that someone else is accused of causing it, so that we again get a secret payoff of appearing to be innocent. We didn't apparently choose it or cause it, so we can blame it on the world. And now we are willing to be helpless, powerless, victimized and suffering, if it means we can accuse the world of causing it. There's a big payoff in that.
It means we're actually very vicious when we're in fear, and we're also very vicious when we're sick. Just as we're vicious in death, vicious when depressed, vicious when unhappy, vicious when unfairly treated, and vicious when terrorized. The ILLUSION OF victimhood covers up the underlying desire TO ATTACK.
And so attack is COVERED UP by defensiveness. Sickness COVERS UP a desire to CAUSE others to be sick. Fear COVERS UP an accusation that others have power over you, affecting you against your will. ie that you WANT to be use them to victimize yourself. There is a whole lot of vicious attack under the surface.
This is what Jesus is pointing to. Not to make anyone MORE guilty or to accuse anyone of anything, but just calmly to look at what's going on and to be honest about it. When I am afraid I am far more likely to become vicious and angry. When I am sick I am somehow trying to prove that the world sucks. That's just what it is.
But the world is ignorant of this and blinded by appearances, and so has "sympathy" for sickness and fear, protecting it like it's unasked for and unchosen. As if the sick or fearful person is innocent. This is a huge trap, and the fearful person DELIGHTS in persuading others to go along with the lie and side with them. Fearful people act like black holes sucking the life out of others.
I know because I used to be that. I've seen it up close. I had to learn that my fear was really MY vicious attack on others which framed them as evil and produced reactions of "fear" in my mind. That my sickness was an attempt to avoid and accuse and be victimized and suffer, for various reasons. What the world thinks is normal is not normal. The false empathy it has for suffering is a total ego smokescreen which we all have fallen for. We have to look deeper and not buy into the bullshit.
We even have to look at the fact that "being a victim" is not only always chosen, it's an attempt by the victim TO victimize. Do you think that's enough of an eggshell to walk around and not touch with a bargepole? Because most people will react to that with ego and hate and accusation of guilt, as if to even utter it is a sin. But the truth is, as Jesus would confirm, is that if I become victimy I AM victimizing the world. I am accusing it of doing things to me. I am WANTING to suffer. And that's entirely my doing it to myself.
We have to outgrow all these old ego modes of operating, of problem solving, and of functioning. They are attempts to solve the separation from God in ways that don't work. They are efforts to deal with the fallout and psychological effects. But they have to be replaced with something that does work. Real honesty and willingness and forgiveness.
I had no idea, that I had been spending vast majority of my life attempting to use the ego's persona in order to 'make life better'.
All the times that I people-pleased to try to make bad people go away.
All the times that I tried to fix everything bad that ever seemed to be happening.
All the times that I tried to appear to be innocent and yet was acting like a victim.
All the times that I tried to look pleasing to others so that they would maybe not hurt me.
All the times that I thought I had to give others what they wanted, and that I was not inherently wanted in a loving way - only in terms of what others wanted to take from me.
There was even a time in my life that was especially low where I felt so bad about myself, such low self 'esteem', ie shame and unworthiness, that I believed I did not deserve any love, and that the only people who would 'want me' were those who wanted to use me or take from me or have me be a slave to. It was tremendously disempowering.
Ultimately this was all because I had such a strong belief that my personas (personii?), were actually capable of IMPROVING my life, making things more palatable, protecting me or defending me from what I did not want. I wanted to simply shut out all the bad icky stuff and focus solely on the good stuff.
And I remember actually believing that I was becoming 'very spiritual' by rejecting even the everyday egos of other people, which I relegated and judged and condemned for 'being ego' or 'being selfish' etc. This sort of twisted double-edged idea of spirituality arose out of this in my late teens where I was simultaneously terrified and hounded by scary stuff in my mind, while thinking that I was also having deep spiritual insights. And maybe I was in a way, but it was strongly dualistic, and my mind was very split. There was a 'rift' in my life, a strong sense of separation, and that persona of exalted, lofty specialness, really holier-than thou, simultaneously felt like I was approaching death.
I used the persona to get rid of and attack everything that I was against, believing that what I 'kept' was all good and acceptable and allowed. BUT, the more that I got rid of... and believe me I included a LOT of stuff in the list of what I rejected, way above and beyond normal classifications (ie most of the world), the more what I had LEFT OVER got smaller and smaller. The more I found myself in a hole of isolation and loneliness. And the more I became depressed. I felt like this impending sense of everything coming to an 'end'. My whole reality just felt like it was saturated with a sense of impending doom, with no way out. Because I was hiding in the persona and not being authentic at all, even though I felt justified by my pain.
I was repressing so much and rejecting so much, perhaps in attempt to heal myself of strong wounds, which I had projected onto everyone else, that I was perhaps trying to find a way to get away from it all and at least 'fake' that I was healing, as a starting point. Very much fortunately, things gradually started to turn around at that point, massively fuelled by my meeting my beloved wife who came into the darkness like an angel of light. Then the healing commenced.
Now, looking back, I can see how my entire time was spent choosing the persona, putting on a fake image, trying to give people what they wanted, trying to please, trying not to upset anyone, trying to maintain status quo or 'peace' by never asserting myself or standing out, etc. It was a rough lesson! And all of that resisting, all of that... rejecting of life... merely diminished my own. Now I am learning that using the persona at all is an attack on myself. It is a way to buy into the belief that I need to cover myself up because there's something wrong with me. As self-love increases - genuine honest God-shared love - so too does the need for these masks diminish.
I am seeing clearer and clearer that all of the confidence, all of the fearlessness, all of the certainty, all of the clarity and strength, that I thought I was going to find by using rejection, separation, persona denial, etc... are actually already IN ME... it was being denied BY the use of the persona. I just needed to learn WHERE the truth is, what WHAT the truth is. I was looking in the wrong place for my whole life - outside of me, and was rejecting myself the entire time.
Now I see that if you stand with yourself in your truth and don't reject yourself, you don't even NEED any of the persona masks, because you already HAVE what God has given you, you already ARE powerful and safe and strong. You don't need to hide from people, because you are unconditionally loving yourself. You're saying, I'm going to ALWAYS be real, true and honest, in all situations and with all people. I am ALWAYS going to come from unconditional love no matter what. And in that, you not only drop all of the efforts to 'get rid of bad stuff', you also drop all of the efforts to 'choose only the good stuff'. And along with that goes all sense of depending on, or caring about, what anyone else thinks of you or what you do. It is a freedom. In a sense, an independence - being set free from the energy-sucking vampire that the ego is and being AVAILABLE now to God, to allow Him to live through you.
It wasn't getting rid of bad stuff that made my life better. Trying to do that made it worse. Accepting myself fully is the goal.
It's not where I thought life would go. But this is where it is heading for all of us. Back to our true selves. Back to love.
If sickness is real, and given that God is the author of Reality, it would have to mean that God created the sickness. And since God is Reality, this would mean that God Himself IS the sickness.
The belief that sickness is real, is therefore actually a belief that God is sick and that God wants you to be sick. If the sickness is truth, ie reality, then God cannot be a loving God.
Love would not create sickness. Love would not want someone to be dead. To suggest that sickness is real, is to suggest it was created by Love, and that Love wants you to die. This is utterly ridiculous!
Sickness therefore CANNOT be reality. It simply cannot be real at all. It MUST be an illusion of sickness. ALL sickness must be an illusion. It may look like sickness, behave like sickness, be caused by things like sickness is, etc, but IT IS NOT REAL SICKNESS.
There cannot be real sickness. If reality is associated with sickness in any way, God would have to be sick.
The belief that sickness is real is the belief that an ILLUSION is actually real. It is the belief that illusions are real that IS sickness. Sickness is the belief that Reality is not reality, and therefore that illusions have taken the place of reality. It is the belief that God is not healthy, and therefore it is true and real that God must be dying or dead.
Sickness is therefore an attempt to kill God and His creation, to destroy His son, and to render God nothing. Anyone believing in sickness as something real, something serious, something to be afraid of, or something to struggle with, is believing that sickness is not an illusion, that God is dead, that sickness is the truth, and that it is God's will that you die. Again, UTTERLY RIDICULOUS!
So, let's all learn this and learn it well. Every single person or establishment or governing body or hospital or clinic or doctor or researcher or scientist or anyone in the public or anyone struggling in their home with sickness etc, ANYONE that claims that sickness is REALITY, they MUST be out of their mind! They are not sane and they are not telling the truth. This MUST be a false belief.
God cannot and does not create suffering. God is LOVING. And God is REALITY, and therefore only love is real. And since love would not create suffering in any way - love only creates love and health - ANY and EVERY form of sickness, suffering, lack, death, loss, pain and misery must be a complete illusion. It is NOT REALITY.
We need to wake up to this. We need to become clear about this and recognize this. And we need to stop accepting and listening to everyone who says that sickness and suffering are real. It is a lie. Even told by those who are sick or those who are jist onlookers. People who look at the sick and think others are sick but they themselves are not sick, ARE sick, because sickness is real to them.
People are doing the best they can to try to deal with the sickness, rarely finding a cure. There is a better way. Miracles are everyone's right!
Not believing in sickness means not believing that an illusion is real, which means being SANE. And sanity is the solution to all sickness, because all sickness is mental illness.
Who and what you are in REALITY cannot be sick. You are fucking immortal! You cannot be sick, you cannot die, you cannot change, you cannot be unwell or tired or lacking or depressed. You cannot be dead. You cannot be dying. And you cannot be suffering in any way. Anything that looks like it is contrary to that it MUST be an illusion. And if you believe it is not an illusion but a reality, then you are mistaken and you need correction by the Holy Spirit.
You may not realize that the ego has set up a plan for salvation in opposition to God's. It is this plan in which you believe. Since it is the opposite of God's, you also believe that to accept God's plan in place of the ego's is to be damned. This sounds preposterous, of course. Yet after we have considered just what the ego's plan is, perhaps you will realize that, however preposterous it may be, you do believe in it.
The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, "If this were different, I would be saved." The change of mind that is necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
The role assigned to your own mind in this plan, then, is simply to determine what other than itself must change if you are to be saved. According to this insane plan, any perceived source of salvation is acceptable, provided that it will not work. This ensures that the fruitless search will continue, for the illusion that, although this hope has failed, there is still grounds for hope in other places and in other things, persists. Another person will yet serve better; another situation will yet offer success.
Such is the ego's plan for your salvation. Surely you can see how it is in strict accord with the ego's basic doctrine, "Seek but do not find?" For what could more surely guarantee that you will not find salvation than to channelize all your efforts in searching for it where it is not?
God's plan for salvation works simply because, by following His direction, you seek for salvation where it is. But if you are to succeed, as God promises you will, you must be willing to seek there only. Otherwise your purpose is divided, and you will attempt to follow two plans for salvation which are diametrically opposed in all ways. The result can only bring confusion, misery, and a deep sense of failure and despair.
How can you escape all this? Very simply. The idea for today is the answer. Only God's plan for salvation will work. There can be no real conflict about this, because there is no possible alternative to God's plan that will save you. His is the only plan that is certain in its outcome. His is the only plan that must succeed. Let us practice recognizing this certainty today. And let us rejoice that there is an answer to what seems to be a conflict with no resolution possible. All things are possible to God. Salvation must be yours because of His plan, which cannot fail.
Begin the two longer practice periods for today by thinking about today's idea, and realizing that it contains two parts, each making equal contribution to the whole. God's plan for your salvation will work, and other plans will not. Do not allow yourself to become depressed or angry at the second part; it is inherent in the first. And in the first is your full release from all your own insane attempts and mad proposals to free yourself. They have led to depression and anger, but God's plan will succeed. It will lead to release and joy.
Remembering this, let us devote the remainder of the extended practice period to asking God to reveal His plan to us. Ask Him very specifically:
"What would you have me do?"
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me say, and to whom?"
Give Him full charge of the rest of the practice period, and let Him tell you what needs to be done by you in His plan for your salvation. He will answer you in proportion to your willingness to hear His Voice. Refuse not to hear. The very fact that you are doing the exercises proves that you have some willingness to listen. This is enough to establish your claim to God's answer.
In the shorter practice periods tell yourself often that God's plan for salvation, and only His, will work. Be alert to all temptation to hold grievances today, and respond to them with this form of today's idea:
"Holding grievances is the opposite of God's plan for salvation.
And only His plan will work."
Try to remember the idea for today some six or seven times an hour. There could be no better way to spend a half minute or less than to remember the Source of your salvation, and to see It where It is.
It is not natural to feel sad, unhappy, depressed, angry, alone, lost, grieving, frustrated, offended, victimized, weak, afraid, guilty, sinful, hurt, broken or annoyed. These are NOT natural. They are NOT the signs of a person being "emotionally mature" or "in touch with their feelings" or "psychologically healthy". It is NOT natural to feel upset about anything for any reason.
"Anger is never justified."
"Depression is blasphemous."
They are all ego reactions to a belief that there is an external CAUSE in the world capable of FORCING you to have a certain negative reaction. They are illusions of consequences made up from an evil mindset. They are not real, or valid feelings. All of them are based in victimhood and attack and vulnerability and defensiveness. Even feeling happy "because of" something that happened to you is fake and driven by "positive victimhood." Especially feelings of love and happiness "caused by" a SPECIAL love interest.
The only real emotions are those which extend out of you from God, such as love and joy and happiness and peace and gratitude and holiness. Those are natural. They are signs of true sharing and connection and sanity. Those should be happening all the time and when they are not, something has gone wrong. No-one is supposed to be suffering in any way.
"God does not will that you suffer."
"God gives you only happiness."
"God's will for me is perfect happiness."
Just because the world is riddled with despair and loneliness and depression and rage and hatred and all manner of suffering, does not mean it is natural. Just because people TEND to have certain feeling reactions to terrible "real" things happening, does not mean it is natural. It is understandable, given their insanity, but it is NOT supposed to be happening.
It is utterly unnatural, against the nature of God, to ever be anything short of completely happy all the time.
"Happiness is a constant state."
If someone seems to be in a body and the person dies, it may seem natural, even supposedly unavoidable, that you would feel a terrible sense of loss and grief. Aloneness, anger, resentment, abandonment, and all manner of hell. But these responses are NOT natural. They are happening because the person believes that death is real, that bodies are people, and that things really happen in the world. This is deception, insanity, mental illness, and a failure to recognize the truth. Which results in suffering.
ALL of the ego emotions can be completely overcome and avoided through forgiveness and the recognition of what really is true. The recognition that the world is a DREAM and that nothing real can be threatened, is enough, if fully experienced, to completely obliterate the foundation for ANY sense of suffering. Emotional or physical. All forms of physical sickness are also symptoms of improper responses, reactions of un-love, to perceived external attacks.
"All forms of sickness even unto death are physical expressions of the fear of awakening."
Every single form of suffering, every emotional upset, all nightmares and hellish situations, every unhappiness, all sense of loss and lack and despair and hopelessness, are all SIDE EFFECTS of an improper perspective on life. They are all symptoms which show up as effects, "caused by" external seeming happenings, which really is a person's mind attacking itself.
A person who believes the world "does things to them" is victimized and thrown around by it senselessly. The world then dictates whether you are happy or sad, what you are able to receive, what you can get, how you should feel, how you should react, how severe something is, how important it is, what its value is, how you should react to it, and what it means to you. It practically shoves meaning down your throat and demands that you suffer, changing you against your will.
Anyone who believes the world is real and a cause of anything will fall into this trap and all manner of hellish experiences will result. Because it is completely unnatural, completely false and a total deception. Falling for the temptation to believe that you are AFFECTED, in any way, by the world, is deception and delusion. It is based in the confusion of not recognizing what really is true or real. Of not knowing yourself. Of being out of touch with the IMMORTAL CHRIST in you.
"Nothing real can be threatened."
You cannot be affected or made happy or unhappy by the world. Nothing in the world can "bring you joy". Nothing in the world is supposed to "make you happy" or "cause you to" feel anything. If it does, you have reacted to a dream as if were not a dream. And that begins the slippery slope into hell. The world is not there to CAUSE YOU to be enlightened, or happy, or spiritual, or holy. It cannot heal you. It cannot give anything to you. It is meaningless and is nothing.
Everything you can have, must come from God. All that you can experience, must be rooted in him. All real feelings must be shared with Him. Any states of happiness or joy must come from WITHIN. All love has to be EXPRESSED and given, from the inside out. You have to light up the world in order to see it as lovable or meaningful or filled with joy. You have to GIVE it that. You can't GET it from the world. The world is a piece of shit drizzled on a turd wrapped in a horseshite. It has NO value and NO power over you.
This is the one lesson to learn. The one lesson the holy spirit teaches over and other. That nothing that happens, no matter the seeming cause, no matter the suffering, it all has ONE CAUSE, that cause is in YOUR MIND, and you are doing it to yourself.
"The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth. For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo.""
In your attempt to move away from God, you are basically trying to disown yourself.
You do this by denying who you are, covering up awareness of who you are, and displacing your sense of self onto anything that you perceive as "not me".
What you do is you take part of your mind and retain it as conscious awareness (your persona), and then shield it from the rest of your mind which becomes unconscious (your shadow).
The unconscious part of the mind is disassociated from, denied and rejected. You hide it from yourself so that you can pretend to be only a limited identity.
What is then part of your own unconscious mind then seems to "project" outward, creating hallucinations of an external world. Since you've placed a barrier between your conscious awareness and "the rest of yourself", you do not experience what's out there as yourself.
So now it seems like there is an entire world that is not you, filled with identities and people who are not you.
At the same time, in order to disown yourself, you have to give ownership of yourself away. That means your sense of identity has to become the possession of some other self, namely the ego.
It is not that the ego has any power of its own to take possession of you. Your attempt to disown your own self produces the ego. You make it everything it is on purpose. And yet at the same time as disowning yourself, you appear to grant it permission to possess you.
It seems then that the ego is a separate entity, largely in your unconscious, filled with all the unwanted parts of yourself which you judge as unacceptable, wrong, bad, guilty etc. Yet at the same time, the ego is also in the conscious persona which is at war with the unconscious. It is the separation between them that is the ego.
This unconscious repository of darkness is your "pain body". At times your pain body, the emotional body of the ego, will take possession of your conscious mind/persona, becoming extremely anti-persona and believing the exact opposite of what the persona-self believes.
When this happens it quite literally is like being possessed by some kind of dark twisted being who is very strongly in denial, very deeply opposed to any kind of truth, and it can flood the mind with negative fearful thoughts.
It in a way feeds off of you, in that by throwing your own repressed stuff into your awareness (ultimately as an act of attempted healing), your mind becomes overwhelmed with fearful reactions and this generates a negative energy which it appears to feed off.
Depending on how much separation you have experienced in your existence, will somewhat determine the 'body' of pain i.e. everything you judged or rejected, which has become stored any our unconscious and which needs to be purified and released.
Going through this process is often something that is randomly triggered and seemingly unwanted and horrifying, because it is as though a person can become literally possessed by some dark being, losing significant awareness, going into an unconscious state of paranoia and fear and guilt and dwelling upon the past.
For some people the pain body is so strong that it can produce violence and suffering, while for others it may come and go more quickly. It returns to being somewhat dormant if the person is able to maintain a non-reactionary consciousness, i.e. awareness. But if it is allowed to take over awareness it can turn a person into seemingly someone possessed, who you may barely recognize, and who may suddenly become what many people would consider either depressed or mentally ill.
These periods of "release" of unconscious dark baggage are punctuated after a usually short period of time with a period of relief in which a lightness and happiness takes over. This is similar to what happens when you have a cathartic cry, which initially is painful and dark and upsetting to go through, but at the end once the energy is cleared out you may find yourself laughing.
Ultimately this is a process of healing and release and a way for a person to let go of a large body of unconscious pain which needs to be permitted, allowed, accepted and observed, without becoming too lost in the clouds along the way. Since we repress a great amount of negativity into the unconscious, or otherwise known as the "shadow", there can be a lot of self abuse to be cleansed.
Ultimately the ego itself is not an entity and nor can it truly possess you against your will, but since it is something that you yourself set in motion and gave power to, you have to go through a process of allowing the shadow and persona to cancel each other out. The conscious mind is overcome by what appears to be mind-altering and even behavior-altering unconsciousness, but it is only happening because the person has become ready to work through their baggage and release it.
If this is happening to you or to people you know, you might think they are crazy or that something terrible has happened medically. No many people understand this. But at some point sooner or later you as you progress on your steps towards returning to your true self, reclaiming your identity, waking up to reality and accepting God's truth, it's going to mean you need to purify and flush out all of the ways in which you have created separation in yourself, and so it's as though the lid is lifted off your denial, producing a profound release. And so this really is a part of the awakening process.
This may be the way that you proceed in your path, to varying degrees, or it may not be. It can be very difficult and extremely confusing to go through. But we are all heading home to God one way or another and for some people it takes a direct expression of unconscious fear, guilt and rage, in order to cleanse the mind of the darkness which has been stored there. We all have our skeletons and we all could use a closet spring-clean.
None of use are stuck in the ego. Nobody is a victim of evil. Nothing is happening in our mind that we haven't put in place. And our own ego, our alternate identity, is just a part of our own self that we've pretended to split off. It is no more a separate entity than that it is our own self pretending to not be our own self. And so it's an interesting paradox that as we attempt to disown ourselves, we become owned by ourselves, albeit around a wall of unawareness. Moral of the story being, you cannot stop being what God created.
We're all loved by God and there is no real way to be separate from Him.
This is where my mind went last night. I had no idea God felt so highly of me. Holy Spirit guided my thoughts.
God loves you.
God knows you.
God created you.
God designed you.
God chose you.
God still wants you.
You are God's treasure.
God cherishes you.
God holds you like a most beloved thing.
God feels happy with you.
God is pleased with you.
God is joyful that you are exactly perfect.
God values you.
You are worthy of God.
God sees you as being worth something.
God feels you are important and special to him.
God smiles upon you.
God wants you.
God is overjoyed that you can share with him.
God actually thinks you are highly valuable to him.
God knows you deserve to be loved.
You are worthy of receiving love from God.
You are worth loving.
You mean something to God.
You mean everything to God.
You are God's child.
God is very happy that you are like him.
God knows you are perfect.
God knows you are innocent.
God sparkles with delight at your beauty.
God wants you.
God welcomes you with open arms.
God desires for you to exist.
God wills to protect you always.
God wants to protect you because you are his treasure.
God treasures you and is enamored with you.
God adores you.
God loves to give you everything.
God loves being with you.
God is very close to you.
You are very intimate with God.
God protects you and surrounds you with himself.
God envelops you in his love and safety.
God knows he has created something very good in you.
You are a divine creation of God.
You are completely loved by God.
God deeply cares about you.
God sees you as permanently holy.
God recognizes you and knows you.
You belong to God.
You are God's personal property.
God maintains you with his power forever.
God shares all of himself with you.
God hides nothing from you.
God is open with you.
God wants you to be happy.
God wills that you be perfect and whole.
God has given you eternal life.
God depends on you.
God knows you are completely dependable.
God trusts you.
God is ecstatic at how lovely you are.
God created you with all his heart.
God loves you unconditionally.
God can never stop loving you.
God wants to love you forever.
You will never be alone.
You can never be out of his sight.
God will always be with you.
God wants to be with you always.
God enjoys you.
God is certain of your endless innocence.
God will never accuse you of anything.
God will never hold anything against you.
God is your family.
God is your creator.
God holds you like a perfect star, high in heaven.
God wants you to be surrounded with love.
God wants you to never be alone.
God has even created your brothers to enjoy being with you.
Everyone loves you like God loves you.
God finds you worthy of inheriting everything he has to give.
You have everything that God has.
God has opened himself up to you fully.
God himself shines upon you to light your way.
God goes with you everywhere.
God will never hurt you.
God will only heal you and support you.
God understands you perfectly.
God knows you completely.
God accepts you entirely.
God is very happy with you.
God sees you as deserving everything good.
God wants you to have everything.
God blesses you and harmonizes with you.
God wants to help you to create with him.
God is overjoyed to see you being yourself.
God loves you laugh with you.
God is your best friend.
God is completely benevolent toward you.
God beholds you as magnificent.
God finds you to be glorious and grand.
God could not have created anything better than you.
You are the absolute maximum of God's perfection.
God has pulled out all the stops for you.
God suspends you in his perfect love and adoration.
You can never offend God.
You can never make him stop loving you.
God will love you for eternity.
God loves you very much.
"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky. So high in Heaven is it set that those outside of Heaven know not it is there. But still and white and lovely will it shine through all eternity. There was no time it was not there. No instant when its light grew dimmer or less perfect ever was."
"The difference is that I love ONLY what God loves WITH me, and, because of this, I treasure you beyond the value that you set on yourselves, even unto the worth that God has placed upon you."
"God wills you better. Could you not look with greater charity, on whom God loves with perfect love?"
"Every brother God loves as He loves you; neither less nor more."
"God loves His Son forever, and His Son RETURNS his Father's love forever."
"God loves His Son."
"God wants us to be healed"
"God WANTS you to behold what He created, because it is HIS joy. Can your grandeur be arrogant, when God HIMSELF witnesses to it?"
"God wants only His Son, because His Son is His only treasure. You want your creations, as He wants His. Your creations are your gift to the Holy Trinity, created in gratitude for YOUR creation."
"If God knows His children as wholly sinless, it is blasphemous to perceive them as guilty. If God knows His children as wholly without pain, it is blasphemous to perceive suffering anywhere. If God knows his children to be wholly joyous, it is blasphemous to feel depressed."
"Nothing that God knows not exists. And what He knows exists forever, changelessly. For thoughts endure as long as does the mind that thought of them, and in the Mind of God there is no ending, nor a time in which His Thoughts were absent, or could suffer change." "God knows what His Son needs before he asks."
"God knows His Son as wholly blameless as Himself, and He is approached through the appreciation of His Son. Christ waits for your acceptance of Him as YOURSELF, and His Wholeness as YOURS. For Christ is the Son of God, who lives in his Creator, and shines with His glory. Christ is the extension of the love and the loveliness of God, as perfect as his Creator, and at peace with Him. Blessed is the Son of God, whose radiance is of His Father, and whose glory He wills to share as His Father shares it with Him."
"You can know yourself only as God knows His Son, for KNOWLEDGE is shared WITH God. When you awake in Him, you will know your magnitude by accepting HIS limitlessness as YOURS."
"Say to the Holy Spirit only, "Decide for me," and it is done. For His decisions are reflections of WHAT GOD KNOWS ABOUT YOU, and in this light, error of ANY kind becomes impossible."
"Can YOU see guilt where God KNOWS there is perfect innocence?" "And so is Heaven's Son prepared to be Himself, and to remember that the Son of God knows everything his Father understands, and understands it perfectly with Him"
"If God knows His children, and I assure you he does, would he have put them in a position where their own destruction was possible?" "God knows His Children with perfect certainty. He Created them by knowing them. He recognizes them perfectly."
"God knows you NOW. He remembers NOTHING, having ALWAYS known you exactly as He knows you now."
"God knows you are deserving of life"
"And you WILL find rest for your Souls. God knows you only in peace, and this IS your reality."
I want to tell you about a way in which I used my persona to destroy myself, and how I am learning to overcome it. This was actually a very very painful long-term lesson, so it is hard to write about.
I grew up as a highly sensitive person, who experienced everything in an intense, overwhelming, overpowering way. In order to try to cope with this, I developed the use of my persona. The persona is the side of the ego split-mind that focuses on specialness, goodness, success, social acceptability, favoritism, pleasantness, etc. So I went very strongly into 'people pleasing'.
What I'd do, quite automatically/unconsciously, was I'd put on this facade, literally a 'false face', where I'd smile a lot, become very quiet, try to appear pleasant, try not to upset anyone, look unthreatening and harmless, as though 'showing this' to people would deflect them and therefore protect me. It was my attempt to be invisible. This included a really intense repression of myself. Basically I was using this to hide my Self.
In any public situation I would put on this persona mask and make it appear that nothing was wrong, that everything was good and normal, nothing to see here, being nice to everyone and don't say a single word, and not get hurt. But there were many times this blew up in my face.
Once I was on a bus heading into town and it stopped at the hospital. A man got on the bus and sat nearby. He said that he had just gotten out of the hospital from his 3rd heart attack. This alone was enough to trigger me to hide myself even more than I already was. So I smiled a lot. He, having just gone through life-changing events, started up a conversation with me, which was horrifying. He saw I was smiling and thought that it meant I was happy, and therefore wanted to know what my 'secret to a happy life' was. This put tremendous extra pressure on me (as I saw it) and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. To do this, I intensified even more this persona of hiding myself, which was an attempt to reject him, smiling even more, being very tight-lipped, and just wanting the ordeal to end. I just became more and more quiet. For some reason I seemed to just do this as an automatic defense that I'd learned.
Once I got off the bus, I was just about ready to hurl. I put so much effort into psychologically rejecting the man, and hiding myself, that I felt literally sick. I reached/retched uncontrollably for several minutes before I could calm down. This put a huge damper on my day and was somewhat traumatic. But this wasn't the only effect of this.
See, when I used my persona to hide my real Self, this wouldn't just mean rejecting the other person, it would mean rejecting me. The more I tried to shut them out, the more I shut myself out. I had no idea I was doing this. But what I did know was how it felt. Absolutely horrible. I would come away from bad experiences like this, which occurred many many times in all kinds of public scenarios, with a feeling of tremendous tension in my head from intense embarrassment/shame/humiliation. I'd get a horrible headache, but even worse, I would feel deeply, deeply, deeply hurt. This hurt was more intense and horrible than ANY other emotion I have ever felt for any reason. Psychologically it was like I had experienced every single form of rejection, abandonment, hurt and pain all at once. The absolute only way to move past this was to have a huge cry.
So, as a result of putting on a persona and pretending to be someone I was not, regardless of whether that fake self seemed to be 'nice' or 'kind' or anything anyone values, the only way I could appear to be literally 'someone else' was to horrendously suppress, deny, reject and abandon myself. I thought I was using separation 'against' other people to separate myself from them in order to protect myself, but this separation did nothing but hurt me.
I also had a huge fear of other people judging me, and a fear of rejection. What I didn't realize was that each time that I tried to put on a persona mask of nice, likable, happy-smiley, quiet or whatever, I was buying into an ego thought system. And by doing that, I was taking a gamble. Either I would 'get' the result I wanted which was that people would be deflected and ignore me and I would pass by 'safely', OR other people would attack me or pressure me in some way and I'd end up suffering. By believing in the potential of being seen to be accepted or liked or pleasing to others, I was also simultaneously believing in the 'potential' that others would judge me. I wanted them to judge me favorably, which would feed my 'goodie goodie' persona, which meant I had to believe in judgement. And because I believed in judgement, I lived in fear of it.
So I thought I had an issue of being afraid of judgement from others. A fear of rejection. And this fear of rejection cycled around in a vicious cycle, compelling me to want to NOT be rejected, and therefore to put on a smiley persona face in order to get other people to not reject or hurt me. But of course that merely put me closer in touch with rejection and judgement, if not by others then much moreso by myself. The amount of rejection I experienced from myself TO myself as a result of self-suppression, was far worse than anything anyone else did. So this strategy really didn't actually work, even though I kept trying to use it, and each time it got worse. Over time I just became more and more uptight and quiet and withdrawn from society, eventually jobless and depressed and deeply unhappy and unable to see a way to be different.
Over time, through various avenues of healing, not least of which was the support by my wife who showed up right when I was at my worst, I gradually have learned about the dynamics of what I do to myself versus what I thought other people were going to do to me. I learned painfully and slowly to see that I only saw other people as 'attacking judging strangers' because *I* had already attacked them first. Through the years of working with A Course in Miracles and various other things I've come to very gradually realize exactly why my use of the persona is completely self-defeating and does not help at all. All the persona does is section off everything I think is wrong with me into a tidy little box and shove it away into the dark recesses of my mind, later to surface as pain and suffering.
Yet, over time I've still held onto a belief that I am mainly afraid of rejection or judgement, rather than realizing that my attempt to use the persona is what actually causes the problem. Every time I try to do what other people would want, or make myself like able, or appease others, or focus on what other people like or would buy, or whether I'd get approval, or showing only the parts of myself that I think are acceptable to others, this AUTOMATICALLY creates a fear of rejection and judgement. Because really, by using the persona (i.e. wanting to feed it by creating a self-image/persona of being pleasing) I am actually already rejecting myself and judging myself. Why would I want to put a facade on myself to cover up my True Self? Why would I want to soften the blow of someone else's attitude by abandoning myself first, so that I then need a defense?
The truth that is starting to reveal itself to me now, is that if I actually just be true to myself, and completely drop all need to use the persona to be 'likable' or 'acceptable to others' or 'what they want' etc, I actually stay in a STRENGTH and a authenticity that empowers me and completely overrides the apparent need, either for a fake persona self, or for a defense against rejection. And so this reveals what really is underneath all this.
If I reject myself FIRST, I will then believe I have to use a false self-image-persona to show other people a version of me that they will like, so that they won't point out how shitty I am. Once i'm in persona mode, I cannot escape the fear of rejection because I've already rejected myself and more will be forthcoming through the projection of it.
So the task in front of me now is, to learn to accept myself fully, to be true to the truth in me, to open up to reveal and expose who I really am, to 'let loose' without any shame or censorship, to stop trying to hide myself for any reason, and to basically 'be myself'. But it also HAS to mean, a willingness to stop putting on a show, to stop presenting myself in a fake way, to stop trying to 'appear' likable, to stop people-pleasing, to stop trying to feed my persona image, to stop trying to get everyone to approve of me, and to just drop that whole pile of horseshit. I only enter into a perception that I need 'protection' when I have already judged myself and have seen myself as vulnerable. I am not vulnerable if I am truth-filled. And I don't need to please anyone.
So the key to FREEDOM in all this, is awakening into Holy Spirit's view of me, in acceptance of the truth of me, and in completely surrendering BOTH the fear of rejection AND the attempt to 'win approval' through the persona. By stopping using a persona this solves every problem that ever arose out of its use. What I thought was helping me was hurting me deeply. And stopping the use of the persona stops the creation of the shadow (pain) as well.
Standing firmly in who I AM, brings all of the certainty, strength, assertiveness, disregard for other's opinions, invulnerability, and empowerment, that seemed to be MISSING when I chose to use the ego. And which could never be fulfilled by using the ego. Because once again, it's a case of seek and do not find. "I don't have to worry about what to say or what to do knowing He goes there with me" - ACIM, i.e. I am in my true self and my true self is completely uninterested in pretense or rejection.
Who knew - trying to please people makes you rejected!!!
Learning to love myself more. Learning to drop the ego more. Learning to be what I am, instead of trying to be something I'm not. And in that, there is no fear.
The ego has built some very terrible things which we regard as extremely real. These include pain, disease/sickness, fear, death, emergency, intensity, attack, and separation. When these things seems to be happening, the ego is sending out a very strong message to us.
The message says, "you should stay the hell away from this it's really bad". (Beware, this advice may be misleading ;-)
Pain quite literally tells you in an experiential way that it is something you do not want. And nobody wholeheartedly wants to be sick or dying. And attack can be particularly upsetting. The ego keeps reinforcing the idea:
"This is really really terrible and it's really happening and you should want it to stop" (Beware again, this ego advice may not work ;-)
And so typically that is the reaction that we have. If I've got pain, I want it to go away. If someone is attacking someone, I want them to stop doing it. If I am sick or diseased, I want to get rid of it.
The trouble is, these attitudes... These reactions... These ways of experiencing these 'temptation', is precisely the OPPOSITE of what will actually HELP the situation. The ego's counsel is ALWAYS completely opposite of the truth and leading you down exactly the wrong path that results in things becoming far worse. What it claims will save you, and what it claims will heal you, and what it claims will fix the situation, DOES NOT, and so you seek for but you do not find peace.
So let's look at the opposite, which the ego warns you against.
If you are in pain, love the living FUCK out of it. Welcome it. Don't resist it. Drop all desire to get rid of it. Don't make it wrong. Don't judge it as bad or a mistake or something that shouldn't be there. And in particular, stop being a victim and OWN the CHOICE to put it there.
Instead of being a passive victim of it, instead be proactive in choosing how you wish to perceive it. It is also useful to extremely exaggerate how much you WELCOME the problem. For example:
"I am choosing this pain (or whatever the thing is)."
"I really wanted to have this and this is what I've received."
"This pain is absolutely beautiful and lovely and I love it with all my heart."
"I am the one who chose this pain and I've done a really excellent job of choosing it."
"This pain is absolutely amazing I totally love it and welcome it and want it."
"I allow this pain to stay for as long as it wants to, it is completely free to do so and I don't even want to get rid of it or make it go away."
"I feel really happy about this pain being there, and I am truly grateful that it has shown up just like I planned."
"I love this pain. This is the best pain I've ever created. This pain makes me completely happy because it is exactly how I wanted it to be and it has met all my conditions."
"I accept this pain and allow it to remain."
"I let go of resisting this pain or trying to make it go away."
"I let go of labelling this pain as negative or a fault or something I did wrong, there is no guilt in it at all. I am completely innocent."
"I surrender all attack on this pain and give it to you Holy Spirit."
"I am open to being completely still with this pain and simply observing it without any desire to change it or judge it."
"I surreneder this pain to you God, please heal it in my mind and I gently let it go to you now."
Notice that we're having an ATTITUDE which is completely the opposite of what the ego says your attitude SHOULD be. When something goes wrong, the ego puts it into the hierarchy of illusions and tells you exactly what kind of severity of reaction this calls for. If you let it, you'll react according to this hierarchy and be a victim. So the ego says this pain is not something you can possible want - that YOU are not something you can possibly want - so go ahead and WANT IT, to defy the ego and reverse its assertions.
The keys here are you need to include:
1. Complete ownership for having created this
2. Complete ownership for actively still creating it and wanting to
3. Gratitude for having created exactly what you wanted
4. Openness and welcome that is heartfelt
5. Allowing and accepting whatever it, letting it BE without you changing it
6. Surrender of all of the reactions you were having about it and all the ways you were making it out to be something wrong
7. Willingness to let it be free so that you can be free
8. Offering it up to Holy Spirit now that you have LET GO OF IT and have stopped trying to attack it or make it wrong or get rid of it yourself
9. Willingness to ASK Holy Spirit/Jesus/God to now heal it and take it from you
10. Actually DOING SO and letting go of it in peaceful surrender.
To the ego this is total madness. It will tell you if you try to accept or allow something that's clearly bad or awful, that you have regarded as real and upsetting, you will just condone it and keep it. This is not true. It will tell you that you should stop even trying to 'live with it' because if you do, you literally will be stuck keeping it and have to live with it. This is also not true.
The reason the ego's attitude is false is because there are a whole shitload of attitudes that you are having which are REINFORCING the pain and making it worse. In fact, you are the one who put it there. But while you keep REACTING to its appearance, which typically is "I want to get rid of it because it shouldn't be there", that just makes it worse and keeps it. When you lift away all of those reactions and layers of condemnation, judgement, guilt and wrongfulness, you are stripping away layers of 'making it real' and holding it in your mind, which actually FREES YOUR MIND from the illusions surrounding this. So you're actually undoing your reactions, seeing innocence and harmlessness in the thing, and thus getting yourself to the point where you can LET GO of it. You can't be free while you won't let IT be free.
The reason for this is that whenever there is pain or suffering or sickness, it is because there's some part of you that you do not LOVE. Some part of you where you see guilt or wrongness or non-acceptance or sinfulness. So that part of you that you refuse to accept HURTS and turns into sickness. This may or may not produce physical sickness but often it does. So you're not really dealing with your body being sick, you're dealing with your mind being sick - some part of YOU (not the body) needs love. So as you look at the body sickness and you keep launching counter-attacks and defenses against it, all you're doing is hurting the part of you that hurts, even more. That only compounds it and keeps it. Plus it makes you very unhappy because the ego's default reaction to pain and sickness is unhappiness. And yet the fact is, it is a choice to BE unhappy by not loving a part of yourself that MAKES the sickness appear in the first place.
Do you really HAVE to be unhappy and afraid and guilty and lost and hopeless 'because of' a pain or sickness? Do you not have any choice in the matter? At the very least, even if changing your attitude about it does not have any effect on making the sickness BETTER at all, physically, at least you will FEEL GOOD instead of feeling like shit. It IS far better for you to choose to be happy because of sickness than to add a layer of feeling shit on top of the physical sensations or symptoms. Having a headache is one thing, but also having a headache and feeling depressed and unhappy is a whole extra layer of despair. You don't HAVE to have that experience. And what you might find is, if you CHOOSE to have a happier experience about what is happening - a more welcoming, loving, open, allowing experience, then maybe, just maybe, your body will fall into line and actually HEAL to match your change in attitude. Since the physical sickness is just a symptom/projection of your unhealed attitude about yourself, internally, changing your attitude MUST change the projection.
The more support for sickness you can strip away the better, and all of your default negativity and victimhood about being sick DOES compound and support and reinforce it. What happens when you withdraw that support? How can a sickness have a strength, when you weaken it by withdrawing all of your mind's support for it? Make no mistaken, seeing yourself as victimized BY sickness or BY attack or BY someone dying or whatever, that very much strengthens the EFFECTS of that thing happening. Choosing to be happy and loving toward it, instead, which is completely against the ego and does take some WILL (affirmations help too), CANCELS OUT your belief in the effects. When you deny that something has affected you, the cause is undone and you are HEALED.
Jesus DOES ask us in ACIM to cancel out all of the effects of things in order to undo them and to DEMONSTRATE that you are invulnerable. You can't do that if you insist that there's no way you can love or be happy about whatever seems to have gone wrong. You've got to start somewhere. Worth a try?
How much of your life have you spend in the default reactionary space of feeling shitty about bad things that are happening? Has it worked? How much effort have you spent fighting against things that have gone wrong and failed and that are malfunctioning? Has that really helped at all? It has not worked. Try something radical. Try the exact opposite way of dealing with it and see what happens. Holy Spirit can amplify the effects of your willingness to SEE YOURSELF AS WHOLE AND HEALED, because it is in line with the truth.
The only thing you need to be wary of is the ego turning this into a reason to become SARCASTIC, which means that you're saying one thing and believing another. You need to find some amount of belief and meaning in what you're affirming. And because you're trying to UNDO the beliefs you already put in place in your negative reactions, it may take some effort of will and persistence to change your beliefs and to actually FEEL that what you're saying is true. After a while of saying it and MEANING it, you should feel a growing sense of peace and acceptance about the issue, and it should seem easier to be less upset about, and to surrender all of your counter-attacks upon it. Then you will have a GENUINE WILLINGNESS to hand it over to Holy Spirit.
Go for it.
If you are immortal, you cannot suffer. You cannot be hurt, damaged, offended, upset, sad, unhappy, depressed, lacking joy, unloved, abused, made sick, killed, harmed, bruised, wounded, angered, nothing. You can only be immortal.
So what does that mean, in light of what seems to be "you suffering"? Even "your suffering" cannot be truly happening to you. YOU cannot be suffering. Your immortal self CANNOT be experiencing suffering. You cannot suffer. So who is suffering?
"Spirit is in a state of grace forever."
So when you seem to be suffering, let's say you feel hurt because someone called you a "stinky fart face", can it really be that you ACTUALLY are hurt? And if you FEEL hurt by this, is this "you feeling hurt" actually really happening? Even if you feel it, even if it seems "it applies to me", even if it seems it was targeted "at you", even if its "highly personal and reminds me of the time I kept farting in church", CAN IT BE POSSIBLE that YOUR IMMORTAL SELF is actually experiencing this or believing it?
It must be that even when under attack, "you" that feels attacked is some kind of fictional construct. It can't REALLY be your immortal self that is attacked. Your immortal self cannot be sad or upset or feeling betrayed or victimized. It's impossible for your real self to feel anything but joy and love and happiness. So when you have an "I feel hurt" moment, even if it involves HEAVY emotions, and terrible pain, and totally seems to be all about YOU and how you feel... CAN IT BE?
It cannot ever be really your true identity that is suffering. Even if you seem to "hurt yourself", you are not hurting yourself. You can't BE hurt. So who or what are you hurting? If you even decide to kill yourself, YOU cannot be killed. So what is dying?
"You are immortal and you cannot die."
WHO or what is being killed? Sure enough it is the body that is involved. But in addition, how is it that there seems to be a sensation that it's YOU that is going down with the ship? WHO or what is under attack? Is this taking place IN YOUR MIND?
Is it possible, that when there is a sensation of hurt or upset feeling or guilt etc, that the feeling ITSELF brings with it a kind of illusion or "sense of" "self"? Could it be that when you are feeling guilty, and you feel like a target, and it feels like everyone can see you and knows you are there, and you are "self conscious" in public, and you want to hide from everyone because you feel like they KNOW your inner guilty secret.... is it perhaps that the guilt ITSELF brings a sense of "centric identity"? Is not anything other than love, a sense of selfishness, and thus a sense of ego?
Some years ago some stuff happened and I had a large amount of guilt because of it. And because of this guilt, I felt ashamed and took it with me everywhere I went. And I felt constantly threatened. Anywhere especially in public, which I avoided, it felt like I had a target on my back, that EVERYONE knew that I was guilty, and they could see this guilty self, and MY experience of this guilty self was a feeling of being very "self conscious". Nervous about what I AM. Feeling like I am "evil" or "bad". Feeling certain that I AM THE GUILT. And that everyone was pointing a finger at me.
It would then happen that if people would attack me, or call me names, or accuse me or whatever, I would feel like "this guilty self" is vulnerable AND attackable. If they would accuse me of something, they were accusing THIS guilty self of it, and IT was self conscious, and IT felt attackable and vulnerable, and IT believed that it deserved punishment and that IT was the ACTUAL target of what people were putting out there. So when they called me by name, and then hurled an abuse, this "guilty self" felt like it was ABOUT IT, personally, and that they were directly addressing this guilty self.
But then after a time and much healing, this guilt was gone. And then I noticed that when these same people were being the same way they seemed to be before, it clearly did not appear to be ABOUT ME, and it was not targeting "that self", that guilty self, that was in me before. And that guilty self and its sense of being "self conscious" ie in fear, was not there to "receive" the attack. It did not exist, so they could not AIM their attack AT it. And so "I", my identity, which was no longer bound up with the guilt, saw myself as NOT being the target of their expressions. And so I felt invulnerable and could now recognize that they were attacking themselves. What happened to the sense of SELF that was present IN THE GUILT?
See, whatever you make TRUE of you you will believe is WHAT YOU ARE, and in effect WHO you are. So if you believe of yourself, "I am guilty", you will believe this DEFINES you. And now you ARE guilt. And this guilt has components of ego in it. And ego is selfish. Ego is a kind of "self centeredness", a self-important self-interest.
If the absence of separation means that there is pervasive light everywhere throughout the universe, then ego is a massive CONDENSING of that, down to a point, such as a star, so that all you are now left with is masses of darkness and a tiny CENTER of a point of light. And this "all that's left" little concentration of "self" now seems to be separated off and small and weak and vulnerable. That littleness is the sense of EGO, and it is experienced like a focus on yourself alone, in isolation.
Everything about ego is about becoming small, little, contracted, compressed, diminished, weakened, self-focused, self-centered, selfish, self-attacking, self-important, self aggrandizing, delusions of grandeur, etc. This condensing produces a kind of "sense" of "me", distinguished from the rest, broken off and separate. This sense of self is "self conscious" ie made of CONCERN for self and FEAR of its own weakness and littleness. The "self conscious" self is in fear and looks out frightened of the world that threatens it. The more EGO you have, the more ego stuff you have, baggage, dark feelings, guilts and hurts, the MORE you feel self centered and like this stuff "is a self". A sense of "separated me", cut off from the rest and not sharing.
It brings with it a kind of "focal point", a contracted little fearful corner of the mind, and the more this little corner withdraws and hides and tries to be even smaller and weaker, the MORE the sense of artificial "self" increases. Because the amount of selfishness is going up, the amount of self importance is going up, the amount of superiority/inferiority complex is going up, and this all produces what SEEMS LIKE a sense of "there is something here", "I am something", "I am all these feelings", "I am these thoughts". You become identified with FORM.
The whole egotism, the attitude, inherently has this bunching up, crunching together, condensing, tightening, contracting kind of thing about it, and this SENSE of this happening FEELS like the formation of a hot-spot in the mind that seems like "where something is, moreso than the rest", or "self interest". A sense of an island within the mind. A "self".
When the guilt goes, when the self attack goes, when the sin is gone, the egotism is gone, and all this tightened contracted littleness "dissipates" and stops being so focused, and without the focus on a tiny little huddled-in-a-corner-hiding sense of identity and truth, that sense of being "separated off" and "a separate identity" goes with it. It just disappears. But that isn't the end of YOU, because your sense of self EXPANDS and moves towards the UNLIMITED, universal, endless holy christ self that you really are.
So who is it that suffers? Who is it that can BE hurt and FEEL vulnerable? It is not your immortal christ self. It is not the real you. But it can seem to be a SENSE of "you" because part of your mind gets caught up in the contraction and withdrawal into "a center", into a little prison, a bodily identity, an identification with locality in space-time. And the more ego-stuff you have in your mind, the more intensely that your mind forms into a huddle of tightly-held-onto stuff, creating an IMPRESSION of you being kind of snagged or caught up on this collection of ego material. And being localized around a "point" it makes you feel like you are this little separated off dot of identity.
It is kind of like.... the suffering, ITSELF, suffers. Just as how fear is self-fulfilling. The guilt ITSELF brings with it a feeling of separate self. Any ego emotions, be it anger or sadness or grief or loss or lack or abandonment or unworthiness or sinfulness or fear or whatever, all brings with it SELFISHNESS, which is isolation and contraction and that attempt to GET AWAY FROM everything else, producing an increasing sense that you are "this something" in the middle of the ocean of mind. And this "sense of self" always feels vulnerable and threatened and unsafe. But this sense of self is PART OF the ego material that's in the mind, and without it your mind DOES NOT experience being a target.
Without the guilt, you cannot feel this. Without the unworthiness or loathing, you cannot feel this. Your mind is elastic and sort of snaps-back into its expanded, non-localized state, spread out evenly and smoothly instead of tightened and restricted and limited. When the guilt goes, YOU stop feeling like "you" are susceptible and attackable. You stop feeling like YOU are guilty. And that sense of "contracted self" goes.
Your sense of identity stops being "caught up in" the "truth" that the guilt expresses. Because if you believe "I AM guilty" then this will set you up to experience that you AND the guilt ARE ONE. And now you ARE guilt. And in the guilt is your "self", your identity. And you will not want to let it go if you believe that letting it go will be the loss of who and what you are. So there is a kind of addiction to the ego materials and an unwillingness to see YOUR SELF as being something NOT associated with, or identified with, the ego materials. e.g. with the guilt. "I am guilty" will feel like you are MADE OF guilt. That it is fundamentally your nature.
So who is suffering? Who is hurt? Who is it that is having loss? Who is sad? Who is unworthy? Who is afraid? THOSE THINGS, combined with your mind, produce a sense of identity, or identification WITH those things, that makes YOU feel and perceive that it is YOU that is those things. That they APPLY to you. Because you think they are PART of your makeup. But it is those things themselves that bring with them the sense of artificial SELF, that is the ego, the selfish self-centered self, the hoarding possessing self, the playing small self. And without YOUR CONSENT, without your BELIEF, that these things are true of you, that sense of little self cannot remain. Because true self is expansive and infinite.
You seem to suffer because you identify WITH and AS ego stuff. Which temporarily makes you believe YOU are being attacked and YOU are the guilty one suffering. But it is really "the ego", the non-existent fictional self, the selfishenss, that is the guilty one. IT feels like IT is guilty, made of guilt. And when you WITHDRAW your allegiance from THE GUILT, that sense of "its about me" goes with it. And then you recognize that your REAL self, your immortal self, was NEVER guilty. It CANNOT BE guilty. And your immortal self doesn't have that sense of self-consciousness, self-concern, self-importance and selfishness.
You can think you are suffering, but you aren't. In a way, it is the ego that is suffering. Ego = suffering. You can think you are "the little self that suffers", but it is NOT really you. Your mind can get CAUGHT IN the trap of the ego viewpoints, which bring with them a sense of self-focus and self-worship and vulnerability, but you are not ever really those things. It is the ego that suffers because the ego IS suffering. It is the ego that has guilt because the ego IS guilt. Without guilt there is no ego. Without a bodily identity there is no body. Without sin there is no world of sin. And without death there is no world.
"Without the idea of death there is no world."
So when you feel like "I am guilty" or "I am anything" other than as God created you, know that you are lost in the ego and are feeling ego stuff and ego stuff feels this way and the sense of artificial "me", self importance, being self-absorbed, selfish, comes with that territory. And it is that vulnerable, sensitive false self that seems to be the target of the suffering, NOT your immortal self. And once you dis-identify from that EGOTISM, the whole ego thought system, you let go of these false accusations and the falsely accused goes with it. And all that is left is your immortal spirit. Your true identity in God which can never be attacked.
Only you can limit your creative power, but God wills to release it. He no more wills you to deprive yourselves of YOUR creations than He wills to deprive Himself of His.
Do not withhold your gifts to the Sonship, or you withhold yourself from God. Selfishness is of the ego but self-fullness is of the Soul because that is how He created it. The Holy Spirit is the part of the mind that lies between the ego and the Soul, mediating between them ALWAYS IN FAVOR OF THE SOUL. To the ego this is partiality, and it therefore responds as if it were the part that is being sided AGAINST. To the Soul this is truth, because it knows its own fullness and cannot conceive of ANY part from which it is excluded. The soul KNOWS that the consciousness of all its brothers is included in its own, as IT is included in God. The power of the whole Sonship AND OF ITS CREATOR is therefore its OWN fullness, rendering its Creation and its creating equally whole and equal in perfection.
The ego cannot prevail against a totality which includes God, and any totality MUST include God. Everything He created is given ALL His power because it is part of Him and shares His Being WITH Him. Creating is the OPPOSITE of loss, as blessing is the opposite of sacrifice. Being MUST be extended. That is how it retains the knowledge of itSELF. The soul yearns to share ITS Being as ITS Creator did. Created BY sharing, its will is to create. It does NOT wish to CONTAIN God, but to EXTEND HIS BEING.
The extension of God's Being is the Soul's only function. ITS fullness cannot be contained any more than can the fullness of its Creator. Fullness IS extension. The ego's whole thought system BLOCKS extension, and therefore blocks YOUR ONLY FUNCTION. It therefore blocks your joy and THIS is why you perceive yourselves as unfulfilled. Unless you create, you ARE unfulfilled. But God does NOT know unfulfillment, and therefore you MUST create. YOU may not know your own creations, but this can no more interfere with their reality than your unawareness of your Soul can interfere with its being.
The Kingdom is forever extending, because it is in the Mind of God. YOU do not know your joy because you do not know your own self-fullness. Exclude ANY part of the Kingdom FROM yourself, and you are NOT whole. A split mind CANNOT perceive its fullness, and needs the miracle OF its wholeness to dawn upon it and heal it. This reawakens its wholeness IN it and restores it to the Kingdom because of its ACCEPTANCE of wholeness. The full appreciation of its self-fullness makes selfishness impossible, and extension inevitable. That is why there is perfect peace in the Kingdom. Every Soul IS fulfilling its function, and ONLY complete fulfillment IS peace.
Insanity APPEARS to add to reality, but no-one would claim that what it adds is true. Insanity is therefore the NON-extension of truth, which blocks joy because it blocks Creation and therefore blocks self-FULFILLMENT. The unfulfilled MUST be depressed, because their self-fullness is UNKNOWN to them. Your creations are protected FOR you because the Holy Spirit, Who is in your minds, knows of them, and can bring them INTO your awareness whenever you will let Him. They ARE there as part of your own being, because YOUR fulfillment INCLUDES them. The creations of every Son of God are yours, because every creation belongs to everyone, being created for the Sonship as a whole.
You have not failed to add to the inheritance of the Sons of God, and thus have not failed to secure it for yourselves. If it was the will of God to give it to you, He gave it forever. If it was His will that you have it forever, He gave you the means for keeping it, and YOU HAVE DONE SO. Disobeying God's will is meaningful only to the insane. In truth, it is impossible.
Your self-fullness is as boundless as God's. Like His, it extends forever and in perfect peace. Its radiance is so intense that it creates in perfect joy, and only the whole can be born of its wholeness. Be confident that you have never lost your identity and the extension which maintains it in wholeness and peace. Miracles are AN EXPRESSION OF THIS CONFIDENCE. They are reflections both of your own proper identification WITH your brothers, and of your own awareness that YOUR identification IS maintained by extension. The miracle is A LESSON IN TOTAL PERCEPTION. By including ANY part of totality in the lesson, you HAVE included the whole.
You have said that, when you write of the Kingdom and your own creations which belong to it, you are describing WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW. This is true in a sense, but no more true than your failure to acknowledge the whole result of the ego's premises. The Kingdom is the result of premises, as much as this world is. You HAVE carried the ego's reasoning to its logical conclusion, which is TOTAL CONFUSION ABOUT EVERYTHING. But you do not really BELIEVE this, or you could not possibly maintain it. If you REALLY saw this result, you COULD not want it. The ONLY reason why you could possibly want ANY part of it is because YOU DO NOT SEE THE WHOLE OF IT.
You therefore ARE willing to look at the ego's premises but NOT at their logical outcome. Is it not possible that you have done the same thing with the premises of God? Your creations ARE the logical outcome of His premises. HIS thinking has established them FOR you. They are therefore THERE, EXACTLY where they belong. They belong to your mind, as part of your identification with HIS. But your state of mind and your recognition of WHAT IS IN YOUR MIND depends, at any given moment, on what you believe ABOUT your mind. Whatever these beliefs may be, they are the premises which will determine WHAT YOU ACCEPT INTO YOUR MINDS.
It is surely clear that you can both accept into your minds what is NOT really there, and DENY WHAT IS. Neither of these possibilities requires further elaboration, although both are clearly indefensible even if YOU elect to defend them. But the function which God Himself GAVE your minds through His you may DENY but you CANNOT prevent. They are the logical outcome of what you ARE. The ability to SEE a logical outcome depends on the WILLINGNESS TO SEE IT, but its TRUTH has nothing to do with your willingness at all. Truth is GOD's will. SHARE His Will, and you will share what He KNOWS. Deny His Will AS YOURS, and you are denying His Kingdom AND yours.
The Holy Spirit will direct you ONLY so as to avoid all pain. The UNDOING of pain must OBVIOUSLY avoid this. No-one would surely OBJECT to this goal IF HE RECOGNIZED IT. The problem is NOT whether what He says is true, but whether or not you want to LISTEN to what He says.
Ok so Jesus lets the cat out of the bag in the section titled "The real alternative." Here he speaks of how utterly disappointing and hopeless the world is. He talks of how all the world's roads lead to death, how there is no real choice among them, and how every path or answer or solution or hope you ever had in the world is secretly hell-bent on the same failure.
"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death." UT31D2
"Seek not ESCAPE from problems here. The world was made that problems could not BE escaped." UrT31D2
He goes on to say that EVERYONE must look at this eventually. Everyone must come to the awareness that the world is utterly completely disappointing, hopeless, worthless, ridiculous, insane, and without hope of redemption or salvation. And that within its closed system there is absolutely no way out and not a single road truly leads to a real solution.
"Be not deceived by all the different names its roads are given. They have but one end." UrT31D2
"Their end is certain, for there is no choice among them. All of them will lead to death." UrT31D2
"On some you travel gaily for a while, before the bleakness enters. And on some the thorns are felt at once. The choice is not WHAT will the ending be, but WHEN it comes." UrT31D2
He describes also that if you come to linger on this, and if you do not sense that "there must be a better way", or "this can't possibly be God's will for me", and if you make the world real or think it is all that exists, you WILL become depressed. In fact, Jesus even says somethings startling here - that "men have died" when looking upon this. And I expect he literally means they dropped dead on the spot because they couldn't handle the bleak hopelessness that arises from this view that the hopeless world is "all there is."
"There IS no choice where every end is sure. Perhaps you would prefer to try them all, before you REALLY learn they are but one. The roads this world can offer seem to be quite large in number, but the time must come when everyone begins to see how like they are to one another." UrT31D3
"Men have died on seeing this, because they saw no way EXCEPT the pathways offered by the world. And, learning THEY led nowhere, lost their hope. And yet this was the time they COULD have learned their greatest lesson." UrT31D3
Then of course he urges us that we should, as well as reaching this point, be sure not to linger there and that we MUST go beyond this. We must become willing to recognize that there MUST be a better way. Yet for many it will require that our "tolerance for pain" has not hit its limit, or you have not scraped to the bottom of the barrel and hit "rock bottom" with the world's bullshit and pain enough to get you to open your mind.
"All must reach this point, and go BEYOND it. It is true indeed there is no choice at all within the world. But this is NOT the lesson in itself. The lesson has a PURPOSE" UrT31D3
However, he also speaks of there being a great potential in this "lesson", in that seeing the world in such stark clarity, such obviousness of its failure and its impossibility and its hell-bent laws of death and punishment, there is a much higher potential that you will suddenly REJECT it, as a whole.
What your mind HAS to do is it has to become open enough to NOT ACCEPTING this as "the only reality", even when faced with the world's UTTER BULLSHIT, slapping you upside the head on a daily basis. There has to be some light of true hope and sanity in you which stops BUYING into the world's empty promises.
"Why would you seek to try another road, another person or another place, when you HAVE learned the way the lesson starts, but do not yet perceive what it is for? Its purpose is the ANSWER to the search that all must undertake who still believe there is another answer to be found." UrT31D4
"Learn now, WITHOUT despair, there is no hope of answers in the world. But do not judge the lesson which is but BEGUN with this. Seek not another signpost in the world which seems to point to still another road. No longer look for hope where there is none." T31D4
You have to be willing to see that you've been seeking for salvation in all the wrong places, and every place you've looked you have come up empty handed and disappointed. That nothing in the world has lasted, nor will it ever. And everything has always disappointed and betrayed you, no matter its appearance, no matter its form, no matter how much it shone and sparkled in its frame of death.
If you can get in touch within yourself with a sense that there MUST be a better way, there must be something more than this, there must be a better reality, there must be ANOTHER WORLD, where God's will is supreme an all the Earth's stupid bullshit is utterly impossible, then your mind will open up instead of shut down. It becomes a "perceptual turning point", which in fact causes a rejection of PHYSICAL SIGHT (having lost all faith in the physical) and an opening of the spiritual eye (willingness to see the spirit world).
"For from ***this lowest point*** will learning lead to heights of happiness, in which you see the PURPOSE of the lesson shining clear, and perfectly within your learning grasp." UrT31D4
"Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point. This ultimately reawakens the spiritual eye, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight."
It means you are suddenly recognizing EN-MASS and in total GENERALIZATION, that the WHOLE world is utterly flawed and NOT what you want. That it HAS failed you, and CANNOT give you what you wanted it to give you. And now you turn from it, turn your back on the whole thing in disgust, or perhaps quiet recognition, and now your WHOLE AIM focused squarely on the Kingdom of God.
"Who would be willing to be turned AWAY from all the roadways of the world, UNLESS he understood their real futility? Is it not needful that he should BEGIN with this to seek another way instead? For while he sees a choice where there is none, what power of decision can he use?" UrT31D5
You're whole attention and sense of VALUE and hope is placed on the other world, where there is a REAL HOPE and where there is a real sanity and a real potential to find what you have always wanted. And as such heaven becomes "the real alternative" to you, and your faith in it becomes massively focused.
He says that everyone must come to look at this eventually. EVERYONE has to be willing to look upon the freak-show without flinching and without making it real, or at least with enough of an opening to an alternative that it doesn't just turn into a horrible depressing dark-night of the soul kind of thing. A night in which you seem SO FAR from God, and yet are SO CLOSE to turning your back on the darkness forever.
"The learning that the world can offer but ONE choice, no matter what its form may be, is the beginning of acceptance that there is a REAL alternative instead. To fight AGAINST this step is to defeat your purpose here. You did not come to learn to find a road the world does not contain." UrT31D5
Once you see just how horrendously stupid the world is, how pointless and disappointing, how hopeless and short-lived, how false in its empty promises and how it is set up only to destroy, you can also potentially see that it CAN ONLY EVER BE THIS WAY. You can see also that since you MADE IT, YOU wanted it to function like this. And you can see that since it is opposite to heaven's reality, it HAS TO FAIL this way. It has no hope because it was made to oppose hope.
"The search for DIFFERENT pathways in the world is but the search for different FORMS of truth. And this would KEEP the truth from being reached. Think not that happiness is EVER found by following a road AWAY from it. This makes NO sense, and CANNOT be the way." UrT31D6
"And EVERY road that goes the other way will NOT advance the purpose to be found." UrT31D6
And this is a great thing to recognize because it means you can forgive the world for being impossibly incapable and utterly flawed. It's only that way because an alternative to heaven CAN ONLY BE that way. And so now you can forgive it and laugh at it and find peace because it is NOT what you want, and because you see NO merit in it, and there is nothing in it that you want to use to keep your false hopes and wishful thinking alive.
"There IS a choice which you have power to make, when you have seen the real alternatives. UNTIL that point is reached you HAVE no choice, and you can but decide how you would choose the better to deceive yourself again. This course attempts to teach no more than that the power of decision cannot lie in choosing different forms of what is still the SAME illusion and the SAME mistake." UrT31D7
"No pathway in the world can lead to Him, nor any worldly goal is one with His. What road in all the world will lead within, when EVERY road was made to separate the journey and the purpose it MUST have, unless it be but futile wandering? All roads that lead AWAY from what you are will lead you to confusion and despair." UrT31D8
"There IS no road that leads away from Him (your brother/self). A journey FROM yourself does not exist. How foolish and insane it is to think that there COULD be a road with such an aim. Where could it go? And how could you be made to travel on it, walking there without your own Reality at one with you? Forgive yourself your madness, and forget all senseless journeys and all goal-less aims." UrT31D9
All we have to do is be willing to look at the UTTER SHIT HOLE with the light of the Holy Spirit and with a willingness to be honest in recognizing its nothingness, and then we will TURN AROUND and vehemently and passionately embrace heaven. And now our vigilance for the Kingdom will be super clarified and magnified and glorified. And then we will walk straight out of hell into the light.
"This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all. You could not give it that, and so, although you turn in sadness from it, you cannot find in it the road that leads AWAY from it into another world." UrT12G3
"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." UrW131L7
In the course Jesus describes how, sometimes miracles can potentially induce fear. Also that even though someone seems to be asking for healing, they might in fact become afraid if they were to suddenly be healed.
He goes on to add also that if you were to take away something which someone is using as a defense, for the perceived purpose of protection, they may then become afraid due to having no defenses. And in turn, if you take away something which someone values or seems to need, even if it is working against them, they can become depressed.
"Yet what if the patient uses sickness as a way of life, believing healing is the way to death? When this is so, a sudden healing may precipitate intense depression, and a sense of loss so deep that the patient may even try to destroy himself. Having nothing to live for, he may ask for death. Healing must wait, for his protection."
The reason this happens is fairly straightforward. In the separation from God, we have reversed what is true and what is false, what is real and unreal. We have tried to give all the attributes of God to the ego illusions, and vice versa. So in our confusion, we think that heaven is hell, death is life, attack is salvation, and truth is a lie.
Anyone with an ego has this distortion to some degree, and usually extensively. It's the upside-down nature of the thought system. We actually think God is evil and help is harm and that we need to be protected from health.
If someone then comes along and attempts to "remove" that which we're valuing, depending on, seeming to need or want, without us having a change of mind and heart, we may interpret it as an attack and a threat. If someone were to shine a lot of light onto you, you might think you are being dragged kicking and creaming into the light, interpreting light as darkness.
This is the nature of insanity. We are confused about what things are. We lack recognition. We are out of touch with what is true. So in our confusion we are lost and deceived. We need to be aware that even if we ourselves are willing to go to the light and be the light of the world, others who need help are not there. They still defend against God and to some degree do not want your love. They fear it.
Similarly with fear, fear is the state of the rejection of love, and being afraid is bad for your health. But those who are afraid believe that the fear is protecting them from the threat of God. You can also be afraid of awakening, because to your ego awakening is like death or dissolution of the false sense of identity.
"All forms of sickness even unto death are physical manifestations of the fear of awakening."
Having identified with the ego or body, sudden miraculous changes to the body could be interpreted as frightening. If you think that you are a body and suddenly your broken leg is healed, or you literally see physical changes happening before your eyes, it could be interpreted as an intrusion or strange external power. It could upset your sense of protection and make you feel vulnerable.
Indeed for many people the idea of "spirit" or "spirits" is frightening. The idea that there is some kind of person or entity which is not in a body, which you can't see, and which is there doing stuff, can be terrifying. The Holy Spirit and angels, even a discarnate Jesus, can be interpreted as being able to bypass your physical defenses and "get to you". At least that is, until you have developed trust and recognition and are not using fear as a defense.
As miracle workers, Jesus cautions us that we need to be aware of the fact that all those who need help are backwards, insane, afraid, confused, lost, uncertain, deceived, defensive, poised to attack, and that they may even see your help as alien and vicious. It is this that they need saving FROM, but the help has to be carefully provided with love and a care not to "trigger" the person into greater retreat.
"Before it is safe to let miracle workers loose in this world, it is essential that they understand fully the fear of release. Otherwise, they may unwittingly foster the misbelief that release is imprisonment, which is very prevalent."
So the situation is, that you are working with patients who have various forms of insanity and fear, they need help to have their minds healed, but it has to be done in such a way that doesn't make the situation worse. They are booby-trapped with all kinds of mental reasons why they would misperceive what you are trying to do, and a significant supernatural miracle could be interpreted falsely as terrifying.
This in no way means that you should not perform miracles, nor spectacular ones. But you can also be sure that many people who are not READY or WILLING to receive them, may reject and run from them. In essence, people who need help generally do not want help, which is precisely why they need it. If the help is seen an encroaching on their territory, or attacking their valued beliefs, they will put up defenses. Even if the help is valid.
Unless they are willing to come forth with some sense of trust and willingness, they may not be too "closed" to reach through powerful means. They might require a lot more time and patience and a gentler approach, to use language or symbols they understand, and to not expose a "raw undiluted miracle" to them knowing what their reaction will be.
"Sometimes the illness has sufficiently great a hold over an individual's mind to render him inaccessible to Atonement. In this case, one may be wise to utilize a compromise approach to mind and body, in which something from the OUTSIDE is temporarily given healing belief. This is because the last thing that can help the non-Right-Minded (or the sick) is an increase in fear. They are already in a fear-weakened state. If they are inappropriately exposed to a straight and undiluted miracle, they may be precipitated into panic. This is particularly likely to occur when upside down perception has induced the belief that miracles are frightening."
Since everyone has free will, and chooses everything, even those who are seemingly far from God and being "evil" are rejecting love. They do not want your help. But unconditional love nevertheless shines upon them gently, slowly melting their resistance. Tolerance for pain is not without limits etc... eventually everyone seeks for a better way and thus invites the holy spirit with a little willingness.
In effect, those you are helping need to have a little willingness, otherwise to help them is to violate their freedom. You can't corece or force them to be well. "God does not coerce." Which poses the sad but necessary scenario that sometimes you have to let people remain in suffering, not because you are cruel and don't want to help but because they aren't willing enough to receive it without making their own situation worse. And sometimes being too helpful is actually a form of imprisonment and disempowerment.
"The use of miracles as a spectacle to INDUCE belief is wrong. They are really used for and by believers."
What this means is that miracles are generally more openly given and received for those who are willing to be open to it. They need to "believe" to some extent, ie to trust the help without being frightened by it, in order to be helpable. This is why miracles are not used to FORCE someone to heal or improve. Trying to INDUCE someone to align with truth is inappropriate and a form of ego manipulation, disguised as help.
Those who are open to it, bring it on. Those who are willing to get help, go ahead and offer it. Those who are willing to put aside fear, and to trust, and be open to a powerful supernatural event, all the better. You'll notice that God doesn't just snap his fingers and force everyone to wake up in a flash of light. Because people are free and they don't want it. Otherwise his mere presence would anchor them in reality and the world would vanish.
"If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick. The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH. The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs, because that light IS theirs."
Your role as miracle worker then is to discern clearly where people atre"at", psychologically, and to seek advice from Jesus/Holy Spirit, so that you don't perform indiscriminate miracles, or waste your efforts, or burn yourself out trying, or cause the patient to become worse off due to your "heavy-handed healing". But certainly, for those who are ready and willing to receive help, the help is there to be given.
Treat gently on the bruises. Tip-toe around the defense systems. Gently invite the person into the light. And provide plenty of reassurances. The limiting of fear and reactions is vital. Triggers must be carefully navigated. And you especially don't want to go for the ego's jugular right off the bat. Perhaps the motto should be, "gently does it."
Without a cause there can be no effects, and yet, without effects, there is no CAUSE. The cause a cause is MADE by its effects; the Father IS a father by His Son. Effects do not CREATE their cause, but they ESTABLISH its causation. Thus the Son gives fatherhood to his Creator, and RECEIVES the gift that he has given Him. It is BECAUSE he is God's Son that he must ALSO be a father, who creates as God created him. The circle of creation has no end. Its starting and its ending are the same. But, in itself, it holds the universe of all creation, without beginning AND without an end.
Fatherhood is creation. Love MUST be extended. Purity is not confined. It is the NATURE of the innocent to be forever uncontained, without a barrier or limitation. Thus is purity NOT of the body. Nor can it be FOUND where limitation is. The body CAN be healed by its EFFECTS, which are as limitless as is itself. Yet must all healing come about because the mind is recognized as NOT within the body, and its innocence is quite APART from it, and where ALL healing IS. Where, then, is healing? ONLY where its cause is GIVEN its effects. For sickness is a meaningless attempt to give effects to causelessness, and MAKE it be a cause.
Always in sickness does the Son of God attempt to make himself his cause, and NOT allow himself to be his Father's Son. For this impossible desire, he does not believe that he is Love's EFFECTS, and must be cause BECAUSE of what he is. The cause of healing is the ONLY Cause of everything. It has but ONE effect. And, in that recognition, causelessness is GIVEN no effects, and none are SEEN. A mind within a body, and a world of other bodies, each with SEPARATE minds, are your "creations," you the "other" mind, creating with effects UNLIKE yourself. And, AS their father, you must be like them.
Nothing at all has happened, but that you have put yourself to sleep, and dreamed a dream in which you were an alien to yourself, and but a part of someone ELSE's dream. The miracle does not awaken you, but merely shows you who the DREAMER is. It teaches you there IS a choice of dreams while you are still asleep, depending on the PURPOSE of your dreaming. Do you wish for dreams of healing, or for dreams of death? A dream is like a memory, in that it pictures what you WANTED shown to you. An empty storehouse, with an open door, holds ALL your shreds of memories and dreams.
Yet, if you are the DREAMER, you perceive this much at least; that YOU have caused the dream, and can accept ANOTHER dream as well. But, for this change in content of the dream, it MUST be realized that it is YOU who dreamed the dreaming that you do not like. It is but an effect that YOU have caused, and you would not BE cause of this effect. In dreams of murder and attack are YOU the victim, in a dying body slain. But, in forgiving dreams, is NO-ONE asked to be the victim and the sufferer. These are the happy dreams the miracle exchanges for your own. It does NOT ask you make another. ONLY that you see you made the one you would EXCHANGE for this.
This world is CAUSELESS, as is every dream that anyone has dreamed within the world. No plans are possible, and no design exists that could be found and understood. What else could be EXPECTED from a thing that has no cause? But, if it HAS no cause, IT HAS NO PURPOSE. You may cause a dream, but never will you give it real EFFECTS. For that would change its CAUSE, and it is this you CANNOT do. The dreamer of a dream is NOT awake, but does NOT know he sleeps. He sees ILLUSIONS of himself as sick or well, depressed or happy, but without a stable cause with GUARANTEED effects.
The miracle establishes you dream a dream, and that its content is not true. This is a crucial step in dealing with illusions. No-one is AFRAID of them, when he perceives HE MADE THEM UP. The fear was held in place BECAUSE he did not see that he was AUTHOR of the dream, and not a figure IN the dream. He gives HIMSELF the consequences that he dreams he gave his brother. And it is but this the dream has put together and has offered him, to show him that his wishes have been done. Thus does he fear his OWN attack, but sees it at another's hands. As victim, he is suffering from its effects, but NOT their cause. He authored NOT his own attack, and he is innocent of what he caused.
The miracle does nothing but to show him that HE has done nothing. What he fears is cause WITHOUT the consequences which would MAKE it cause. And so it never was. The separation started with the dream the Father was deprived of His effects, and powerless to keep them, since He was no longer their Creator. In the dream, the dreamer made HIMSELF, but what he made had turned AGAINST him, taking on the role of its creator, as the dreamer had. And, as he hated HIS Creator, so the figures in the dream have hated HIM. His body is their slave, which they abuse because the motives HE has given it have THEY adopted as their own. And hate it for the vengeance IT would offer THEM.
It is THEIR vengeance on the body which appears to prove the dreamer COULD not be the maker of the dream. Effect and cause are first split off, and then REVERSED, so that effect becomes a cause; the cause, effect. This is the separation's final step, with which salvation, which proceeds to go the OTHER way, begins. This final step is an effect of what has gone before, APPEARING as a cause. The miracle is the first step in giving BACK to cause the function of causation, NOT effect. For THIS confusion has produced the dream, and, while it lasts, will wakening be feared. Nor will the Call to wakening be heard, because it SEEMS to be the call of fear.
Like EVERY lesson that the Holy Spirit requests you learn, the miracle is clear. It DEMONSTRATES what He would have you learn, and SHOWS you its effects are what you WANT. In its forgiving dream, are the EFFECTS of yours undone, and hated enemies perceived as friends, with merciful intent. Their enmity is seen as causeless now, BECAUSE they did not make it. And you can accept the role of maker of their hate BECAUSE you see that it has no effects. Now are you freed from this much of the dream; the world is neutral, and the bodies which still seem to move about as separate things NEED NOT BE FEARED. And so they are NOT sick.
The miracle returns the CAUSE of fear to you who made it. But it ALSO shows that, HAVING no effects, it is NOT cause, because the function of causation is to HAVE effects. And where effects are gone, there IS no cause. Thus is the body healed by miracles BECAUSE they show the mind MADE sickness, and employed the body to be victim, or EFFECT, of what it made. But HALF the lesson will not teach the whole. The miracle is useless, if you learn but that the BODY can be healed, for this is NOT the lesson it was sent to teach. The lesson is the MIND was sick that thought the body COULD be sick; projecting OUT its guilt caused NOTHING, and had NO effects.
This world is full of miracles. They stand in shining silence next to every dream of pain and suffering, of sin and guilt. They are the dream's ALTERNATIVE, the choice to be the dreamer, rather than deny the active role in making up the dream. They are the glad effects of taking back the consequence of sickness to its cause. The body is released, because the mind acknowledges "this is not DONE TO me, but I am doing this." And thus the mind is free to make another choice instead. Beginning here, salvation will proceed to change the course of every step in the descent to separation, until all the steps have been retraced, the ladder gone, and ALL the dreaming of the world undone.
In the separation, we tried to invent a world which was completely opposite to God's Kingdom. This resulted in false perception, and also the reversal of cause and effect.
The son, who is an effect of God, who is our cause, tried to be the cause of God, to create effects in Him. This was a kind of role reversal, and is the idea of original sin or the authority problem.
In this effort to oppose God, we dreamed of a world opposite to God. Given that God is truth, this world had to be false. And in opposing knowledge we invented perception. So simultaneously in the making of the world we entered directly into false perception. This world was made to also be completely opposite to God's world.
"The world is false perception."
"Earth, Heaven's opposite in every way."
So all this was happening at once in the separation:
* The complete opposition to the truth producing a false world* The opposition to knowledge producing false perception* Cause and effect are reversed, making the effect (dream) seem causal
We entered a state of unconsciousness, in which we dreamed of a false world, which was opposite to Heaven, AND in which cause and effect were reversed.This reversal of causality or "backwards perception", is what made you necessarily believe that the false world you made is NOT an effect of you dreaming, but instead is a CAUSE. ie that the world seem so have a LIFE of its own, or an alien will. And it also made you believe that you are NOT the dreamer or cause of the world, but rather the EFFECT of it. So you instantly went into a victim role, which is played out in physical matter and the "laws of physics."
Forgiveness, salvation, atonement, true perception etc, is what you arrive at when you REVERSE all this. It requires that you recognize the world is false, not true. It requires that you recognize the dream is coming FROM you not TO you. It requires the re-reversal of cause and effect (which is also level confusion), so that you recognize you are the NOT AFFECTED by the world in ANY WAY. You see yourself as cause, not effect ("This is a course in cause, not effect"). And you thus position your vantage point as a reflection of heaven.
If you look at how life typically is on the level of form, you can see all the ways that we made ourselves AT THE EFFECT of the very dream that we dreamed. This includes all victimhood roles, all reactions, all ego emotions, all of the senses of the body, and every way that the world seems capable of doing something to you.
It means vulnerability, the need for defenses, perceiving oneself as unfairly treated, fear of threats and dangers, grief and loss relating to parts of the dream which you value and lose, and all manner of suffering. It also includes any and all kinds of sickness and death, because death is nothing more than the firm belief that the WORLD is entirely the CAUSE of you and you are COMPLETELY AFFECTED by it with no will or power to do anything to stop it.
Every ego emotion, is a reaction, an EFFECT, produced by your mind, in response to your mind's parallel belief that THE WORLD is the cause of you. By believing the world is real and true, you give it power over you. And then you experience effects. So some person get's killed, you feel anger and sad and lost. Someone attacks you and you feel threatened. Some war breaks out and you fear for your life. Some plague spreads around the world and you worry about your continuation. Someone seems able to hurt you and you become angry at them.
The list of victim roles and the seeming reactions that it produces is endless. All of them are ways by which you believe you are CAUSED BY the world. That the world oppresses you, hurts you, changes you, defines you, dreams you, makes you what you are, decides your fate, ends your life against your will, destroys you, does things that "you like", gives you things "you want", and generally acts as the CAUSE OF everything you are. All of that is false perception and backwards causality.
So that means that all ego emotions are fake. Some people would say its "natural" or "healthy psychology" that you would feel loss or grief when someone dies. Or that it's normal to feel sad when something doesn't work out. Or that it's sane and rational to be angry because of what someone did to you. Or that you should feel happy because of the gifts someone gave you. Or that anyone would feel depressed if they had to go through what you went through. But ALL of that is complete bullshit. It is all part of believing that you are AT THE EFFECT of a dream which, in and of itself, has NO POWER to do anything.
This carries over to the body senses. "To sense is not to know". The body's senses are ways of BEING SUSCEPTIBLE or "sensitive to" the dream. They can only operate by BEING AFFECTED by the environment. You touch something and it relays a message to you, changing you, affecting you. You smell a bad smell and recoil. You see ugly sights and are driven to anger. You hear the sounds of hell and it frightens you. The physical senses were all designed to make the world seem real, to PROVE that you are AFFECTED BY the world, to sense what is there, and to lock in false perceptions. Even pleasure, which is interpreted as "being affected positively", is a form of victimhood and powerlessness.
"Only the body makes the world seem real."
Every physical sense is a form of vulnerability, susceptibility, effects, victimhood, the ability to be caused by something outside of you, and a way for you to "get" from the world. And the body was designed this way so that it would permanently be locked into a victim role and a false way of perceiving.
"These eyes made not to see will never see.""The body is not the means by which the real world can be seen.""Everything the body sees is a form of conflict.""The body sees only the forms of error.""Nothing so blinding as perception of form."
The body essentially was built on the idea of sin ("the body is the idea of sin made flesh") and on the reversal of causality. It was meant to be at the EFFECT OF the dream. It testifies to the ways in which the dream CAUSES you. And so the body is a lie.
Your function of forgiveness operates in an opposite direction to the seeming nature of the body, its senses, and to ALL beliefs and perceptions that the world can ever do anything to you.
In truth, you are immortal and you cannot die. You cannot be affected. You cannot be hurt or changed or made to suffer. Nothing can happen against your will. The dream has no power to oppress you or make you ill or sad or weak or frail. Nothing in the world can force you to be sick, or make you dead. Nothing can happen without you choosing it to. You cannot die without electing to. You cannot facilitate sickness without backwards perceptions. And literally you are beyond the reach of every illusion.
To recognize this is to completely reverse cause and effect in the dream, which means completely opposing and breaking all the laws of spacetime. All the laws of physics are completely backwards because they are designed to make the dream function AS IF the world is the CAUSE OF events. As if the world is first-hand reality. But the world is an EFFECT.
"Perception is a RESULT, not a cause." "The world IS perception."It is by COMPLETELY recognizing that the world CAUSES NOTHING and cannot do ANYTHING to you, that you return to a state of invulnerability, producing in the interim the INCORRUPTIBILITY OF THE BODY, in which the body becomes a symbol of eternal life and is devoid of all signs and symptoms of "being affected by the world." This includes the healing and prevention of any attack by anyone or anything. A demonstration of immortality and power over death.
Resurrection, which is the "surmounting of death", is the state of being THE CAUSE, and not the effect of the world. It is awareness of dreaming. And as the Course says, "For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming." This is the secret of salvation. The fact that the world IS NEVER the cause of ANYTHING. And the fact that YOU are the cause of everything, because YOU are the one dreaming it. And if someone seems to play a role in your dream of victimizing, or of being a victim, the truth is that NOTHING can affect you unless you make it do so.
Once you recognize that you are CAUSING the dream, and that the world CANNOT produce effects in you, ALL the ego emotional reactions must cease forever. You can no longer have reason to justify anger, to be sad or upset, to be unhappy, to have loss or grief, or even to be happy as a "result of" what the world "does to you". Not even through special relationships or idols you worship or valued objects or career success or any kind of INPUT coming from the world to CAUSE you to feel a certain way.
The only TRUE feelings are those which come OUT of you CAUSALLY, and extend through you. This includes love and joy and peace and happiness. You GIVE these through causation and sharing. They come out of you and extend. They are not the RESULT or EFFECT of anything in the world. The world cannot give you happiness OR unhappiness. They are not there because of what someone does for you or what you GET from the world. Positive or negative. Victim or reward.
"It takes great learning to both recognize and accept that the world has nothing to give.""This world holds nothing that I want""Teachers of God are willing to give up all the pleasures of the world."
This is why we have to learn that we are ONLY extenders of God's spirit, we are only GIVERS of life and love and happiness and joy, and we are CAUSAL. We are co-creators with God. We are not to need, require, depend on, want, desire, be attached to, or react to, ANYTHING in the world. ANYTHING AT ALL! Why would you need to when a) you are immortal and have everything and b) have inherited everything you need from God and c) can only be happy and at peace when you GIVE what you want to receive?
You cannot GET happiness from the world. You cannot GET freedom from the world. The world cannot give you life or immortality or invulnerability or protection or safety or love or peace or joy. It has no ABILITY to give, because the world has absolutely ZERO causality. It is NOT a cause. The world is ONLY an effect. It is your dream, that you are putting there."It is not a cause, but an EFFECT."
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."
This is the essence of A Course in Miracles. BE THE CAUSE. BE THE POWER. Do not give power to a dream which is nothing but an effect of you. Do not believe in being affected BY anything or anyone in the world. God is the only cause of you and your brothers. Your brothers are NEVER the cause of each other, and you have never caused or been caused by them. Nothing real can be changed or threatened or made different by the world and its contents.
You are to reach a point of resurrection in which you CANNOT BE AFFECTED by the world. Where even the body CANNOT be sick OR die. Where your mind is so certain of its strength and power that there is NOTHING your holiness cannot DO (cause). Where you are so fully EXPRESSING love that you are miraculous all the time. Where you extend and inherit the power and love of God every second of every day. Where so much light and joy is flooding OUT of you through giving and thus receiving, that nothing from the OUTSIDE is able to come IN to you. Making you completely safe and invulnerable.
You are to cease believing that anything or anyone in the ENTIRE world, in the whole universe of spacetime, EVER has a power or causation over you, making you change, making you suffer, making you die, making you happy OR unhappy. You are to be BEYOND this dream and beyond this world. You are PRIOR to the dream. You are beyond sickness and death. You are immortal spirit and NOTHING can change that. All it requires is your total acceptance of this truth, the reclaiming of your immortal rights, and your willingness to express and know your true self. It is nothing short of reclaiming eternal life.
I had a re-read of much of Chapter 21: Reason and perception, to try to better understand the workings of perception. Below are some takeaways. Feel free to correct me if I’m mistaken.
Typically, we look out upon a world which seems to be there independently, and however it looks to us, we take it to be how it is. If it seems like a horrible place, some kind of hell, we believe it actually IS that way. We don’t question it. We don’t for a moment think that there is something we are doing to make it LOOK that way.
But the Course is telling us that in fact, we are doing this all the time. It is telling us, there is a "forgiven world" right here in front of our faces, which has no guilt in it, no sin, which is shiny and sparkly and new, and even seems to have a reflection of heaven in it. But we’re not SEEING it, because our own minds have some kind of "gunk" in them which is making the world seem dim and dark and lonely and depressing.
In fact, it even tells us there is a reflection of Christ (the face of Christ) and God right here, that we can "See God" here, to a degree, if we have awareness of God in our mind. That we could look at flowers and tables and trees and such and see God twinkling back at us somehow. But that if we do not SEE that, due to some kind of "filtering" that is going on in our perception, the world becomes lackluster and dull and we don’t seem to see God at all.
There is a kind of perceptual trap, whereby if you believe that how the world looks, is how it IS, inherently, you will not realize that there is ANOTHER world hidden behind the one you’re seeing, that you COULD be seeing, if you were to change your mind. Since "projection makes perception", it produces CIRCULAR LOGIC in which a) you decide what you want to see, b) you project it, c) you see/perceive it, d) it tells YOU what is there, e) you believe what you perceive. Kind of a vicious cycle.
Not realizing that your mind has something to do with how things appear to you, you will just ASSUME that this world simply IS the way that you’ve always seen it to be. If it seems to really suck bad, if all your relationships seem strained by separation, if you feel lonely and cut off, if you are depressed and living in darkness, you may think that this is HOW THE WORLD IS, not realizing that you are actually MAKING IT look that way because of the content of your mind.
So in order to get out of that trap, you have to suspend belief for a moment, consider that what you are seeing is POSSIBLY not how the world actually is, that there is a world here you WANT to see - in which you’ll have to place some faith that it is here but simply hidden from view temporarily, and then take steps to change your mind so that you can finally SEE it. You almost have to IGNORE what you are perceiving now, stop accepting that you are stuck with the "results of past decisions", and that if you choose to believe differently, this shitty world will disappear and be replaced by a much lovelier version.
The course also basically says that when you are seeing the projected content of your own self-hate, sin etc, which makes the WHOLE WORLD look hateful and sinful to you, you are not SEEING correctly. Or rather, you are lacking VISION. Vision is the ability to see what is here, without distortion, without sin, without any dark content in your mind, so that you can see the forgiven world simply for how it IS.
Jesus says we need to become able to SEE, first, before we can RECOGNIZE what it is we are seeing as an illusory world. To see the "real world", relatively speaking, is to regain vision, ie to see without filtering it with your ego junk, such that you can simply look upon what’s there without adding or removing anything. This will show you clearly, correctly, what is THERE, without your contribution added to it, and in that clarity you will RECOGNIZE that even the real/forgiven world is an illusory world made as the opposite to heaven.
So right now, if you are having an experience that this world seems like a nightmare of hell, it’s not because it IS, it’s because you have a nightmare of hell happening in your MIND, which is making this world SEEM like it is hell. I’ve personally had experiences which at the time seemed like a horrible nightmare. Later, after much healing, the nightmare was over and the world did not seem so bad anymore.
The content of our mind massively influences what we see, because we will project that content out TO see, and WILL see it, overlaid on top of the "real world". It is imagined content, but it hugely influences our perception. False ego beliefs really have the "power", because we put faith in them, to greatly distort how the world registers with us, what we see it as, whether it seems harmless or harmful, and whether it feels like a happy place or a miserable place. It is not any of the things we project ONTO it. It is only what it is - a pretend planet that we dreamed, essentially neutral and meaningless.
"I have given the world all the meaning it has for me" is precisely talking about perception. You may not realize it, but your consciousness, your mind, your experience of "reality", can become significantly DISTORTED by any ego beliefs that you have, such that it will make you PERCEIVE things which are not even there at all. It causes you to hallucinate! To see imagined meaning or content where it does not exist. Your perception is capable of "shifting" from experiencing the "real word" as a nightmarish hell, to seemingly to be a reflection of heaven.
Have you ever had a day, where you are in a really bad mood... where you are perhaps having an emotional release of some heavy feelings. On that day, it seems to you as though everyone is in a bad mood! Everyone seems angry and intense and upset. Then you let yourself cry and you cathart this painful content. Suddenly, when you’re done, you feel better, but you also notice, what the heck happened to everyone else’s mood?
Suddenly other people don’t seem like they are unhappy at all? They don’t seem angry or stressed out or upset with you. You then find yourself wondering, were they really nightmarish figures who were against you and pissed off along with you or.... were you making that up this whole time? That all this time you thought they were also upset, they were actually happy?! That you just couldn’t see it and your mind was hallucinating that they were upset with you?
That’s because your ego beliefs that were in your conscious awareness were majorly distorting your perception of reality.
Jesus talks about how we get "stuck" in the circle of projecting then perceiving, whereby since we think that how the world looks is how it IS, that somehow IT decided to be the way it is, and that we didn’t MAKE IT BE that way at all, we simply accept it as if objectively real and then "make adjustments" to try to "live with it" or accomodate as though simply accepting it is really this way. We can spend a very long time living in a perceived "bad world" trying to cope with how it seems to be, making horizontal/linear adjustments instead of rising above it into "vertical perception", not even realizing that if we were to change our mind, our perception would shift UPWARDS, and we’d see a very different "higher vibrational" world that doesn’t call for any of those adjustments. ie, we don’t have to STAY in hell.
Another experience you might have is where you see the form of someone’s body, perhaps they have a broken arm or scars on their face from a fire. It will depend entirely on the content of your mind as to HOW you will perceive this, and what you will see IN it. If you believe in real sin and real sickness, and if that belief is heavy, when you see this person with theirs scars and a broken arm, you will not ONLY experience what’s there in form, their body in its condition, you will ALSO experience the content of your mind.
You might therefore be horrified, repulsed, upset, saddened, guilty, etc... seeing the disfigurement as something the person is stuck with for life, seeing sin in it like they must’ve done something wrong, holding it against them, fearing it like it will infect you if you get too close. The horror show in your mind has nothing to do with the person’s body or its form, it’s entirely to do with YOUR beliefs that you are seeing ON TOP OF what’s there. They still have a "broken body", but you are seeing "YOUR sickness" added to it.
If you then go away and do some forgiveness and undo these beliefs in real sin and real sickness, you may later be walking around and see that person again. And their body may well be in *exactly* the same condition, form-wise, because that’s something that they still believe in and they are still putting it there.
But instead of seeing it as attacking you, or repulsing you, or threatening, or being ugly, or judging them for it, or seeing it as irreversible, or hating them for it, you may instead see them with love and freedom and recognize, they are not bound by this, they are not this form, they are not this body, and you could offer them a miracle. *RECOGNIZING* what is there, versus failing to recognize what is there (seeing your own added shit), is the difference between true perception and false perception. Both of them perceive the form, but true perception does not ADD sin to it.
Someone close to me has paralysis. Her left arm can barely move and hardly any movement in any fingers. She had a stroke. When this first happened, each time that I saw this I was very upset. Or I should say... each time that I saw this form and ALSO some dark content in my own mind, I was very upset. I saw sickness as real. I believed in it. And this had apparently already been established in my belief system before this event happened. Instantly it would trigger off deep upset and guilt and grief whenever I saw it. However, it wasn’t the form or the tragedy or the paralysis that was actually upsetting, it was what I saw IN it.
Over time, I forgave this and more or less HAD to use this as a way to learn that sickness is not real, that I am not the cause of the sickness, that I am not guilty for otherse being sick, and that there is no TRUTH in that sickness. My personal perception of that person now, is that when I see this paralysis that she STILL HAS, and which has not changed whatsoever, I am not upset by it. I don’t see it as tragic or despairing. I don’t see guilt in it. I don’t see it as something having gone very wrong. I don’t see it as unfair or unchosen. It does not trigger me into deeply hurt feelings. All of that has been healed in me, and therefore in my perception. And yet, I still see - perceive - this person, and they stil have the symptoms of this stroke. They are still paralyzed. I simply do not see it with the ADDED content of my own personal beliefs in sin.
Quite possibly at some time, if I choose to really thoroughly excavate all trace of belief in sickness from my mind, maybe that will offer healing to her and undo that sickness. But if she is not ready to receive it, or if that would be frightening, it would not be appropriate to force it. This too is a lesson, that often the sick do not want to be healed against their will or readiness. My perception has changed of "what is there" and I now see it more squarely for what it IS... an illusion of sickness that doesn’t mean anything and has no power of its own. Of course this is still an area of experimental miracle-working so we’ll see what happens in future.
Regarding another’s sickness, since you are no longer believing in irreversible sin, you would not be holding their form "against them", or believing that they are stuck with it, or seeing them as victimized by it. You would not see it as "real sickness". It will strike you as an ILLUSION of sickness. Fake sickness. A simple choice to pretend to be hurt. You would not believe it has the power to stay on its own, and you could offer to heal it. It depends on the person as to whether they can accept and receive the healing, however. They have free will and their will is just as powerful as yours. Similarly Jesus cannot remove stuff from us that we are unwilling to give up because our will is as powerful as his.
One other thing I want to touch upon is the kind of experience you will have when in false perception vs true. In false perception, since you believe heavily that separation is real, and since you project what you will later perceive, you project separation. When you perceive it, you’re going to perceive that you are seeing something that has separations in it. The world is going to look to you as though it is separate from "you". It will seem like it has causal power, a will of its own, a mind of its own, and that it is not an effect, and therefore that because it is cause not effect, "you" surely did not cause IT.
You can see how this is a vicious cycle because if your mind has separation content in it, you will project that separation content onto the world, it will appear to be separate from you, and this will justify your belief that you DID NOT project it or cause it. This undermines the awareness that you projected in the first place, and somewhat "locks in" the idea that how the world appears to you is how IT IS inherently. That you are not contributing to how it appears at all. So false perception is its own trap, making it harder to tell that your mind alone determines what things look like to you.
The counter to this, is what happens in true perception.
There, your mind does not have a belief in separation. You don’t believe in real sin, or level confusions, nor do you see yourself as at the effect of anything outside of you. You recognize yourself as cause, and even see yourself projecting. Therefore, as you project, you are practically not projecting ANYTHING "onto" the world, or are not adding to it or removing anything from it, and so when you then PERCEIVE what’s there, you see it only for what it inherently IS. It shows YOU what is there, and you may even see God in it. This shows you the "real world", real in the sense that, in comparison to your unreal world of false perception and hallucinated hell, it is "real-er".
In true perception then, you will not be experiencing that the world is its own thing, that it has a will, or a mind or a power over you. You will not believe it has cause in it. You will recognize it as EFFECT only. And you will recognize that you are CAUSE only, not effect. Seeing God "in it" also will not mean that this world is "cause". God is cause, so seeing God "in" the world does NOT mean God IS the world or that the world is a cause! In this awareness, whatever the world ‘is’, MUST be coming entirely from you, and you see God IN it because God is IN your mind, not really out there. This means, you will also recognize, not simply what the world inherently IS (an illusion you made), but that EVERYTHING it is, is coming from YOU. You are dreaming it!
At this level, you are capable of manipulating it in any way you see fit simply by changing your mind, by adjusting your desire, or shifting your focus. "The word is only what you gave it" indicates that in false perception, there seemed to be you AND the world, and in true perception, there is only YOU. At this level, being aware that you are THE DREAMER of this world, reveals to you that it is 100% illusion, that the real world is an illusion, that even its forms are coming from your mind, and that therefore..... drumroll please..... THERE IS NO WORLD APART FROM WHAT YOU WISH. Meaning, there is literally no world there, just a bunch of wishes.
There is no world here because it is ONLY the content of our mind being projected. There is no world because even the real world, the "happy dream", is but a dream. When perception is perfected, it shows us there is NO SEPARATION between what is within and what is without. That planet out there, is inside our mind. It’s just an idea that has not left its source. "The real world is still an illusion". We made it up and are dreaming it, it’s not really there at all.
As dreaming ends, the entire content of this dream, this made-up world, this projected fantasy, will simply cease to be. It is not changed, it is simply unprotected. It does not live on, it simply vanishes. It is not converted into reality or heaven, ONLY THE TRUTH REMAINS and everything else NEVER REALLY EXISTED. Hence there is no world and Earth does not exist beyond our dreaming of it.
The rituals of the god of sickness are strange and very demanding. Joy is never permitted, for depression is the sign of allegiance to him. Depression MEANS that you have foresworn God. Men are afraid of blasphemy, but they do not know what it means. They do not realize that, to deny God, is to deny their own identity, and in this sense, the wages of sin IS death. The sense is very literal; -- denial of Life perceives its opposite, as ALL forms of denial replace what IS, with what is NOT. No-one can really DO this, but that you can THINK you can, and BELIEVE YOU HAVE, is beyond dispute.
Do not forget, however, that to deny God will inevitably result in projection, and you will believe that others, AND NOT YOURSELF, have done this TO you. You WILL receive the message you give, because it is the message you WANT. You may believe that you judge your brothers by the messages they give YOU, but you HAVE judged them by the message you give THEM. Do not attribute your denial of joy to them, or you cannot see the spark in them, that could bring joy to YOU. It is the DENIAL of the spark that brings depression, and whenever you see your brothers WITHOUT it, you ARE denying God.
Allegiance to the denial of God is the ego's religion. The god of sickness obviously demands the denial of health, because health is in direct opposition to its own survival. But consider what this means to YOU. UNLESS you are sick you cannot keep the gods you made, for only in sickness could you possibly WANT them. Blasphemy, then, is SELF-destructive, not God destructive. It means that you are willing NOT to know yourself, IN ORDER to be sick. This IS the offering which your god demands, because having made him out of YOUR insanity, he IS an insane idea. He has many forms, but though he may seem like many different things, he is but one idea;-- the denial of God.
Sickness and death entered the mind of God's Son against His Will. The "attack on God" made His Son think he was fatherless, and out of his depression he made the god of depression. This was his alternative to joy, because he would not accept the fact that, although he was a creator, he had been created. Yet the Son IS helpless without the Father, Who alone IS his Help. We said before that of yourselves you can do nothing, but you are not OF yourselves. If you were, what you have made would be true, and you could never escape.
It is BECAUSE you did not make yourselves, that you need be troubled by nothing. Your gods are nothing, because your Father did not create them. You cannot make creators who are unlike your Creator, any more than He could have created a Son who was unlike Him. If creation is sharing, it cannot create what is unlike itself. It can share only what it IS. Depression is isolation, and so it could not have BEEN created.
Son of God, you have not sinned, but you have been much mistaken. But this can be corrected, and God will help you, knowing that you could not sin against Him. You denied Him BECAUSE you loved Him, knowing that if you RECOGNIZED your love for Him, you COULD not deny Him. Your denial therefore MEANS that you love Him, and THAT YOU KNOW HE LOVES YOU. Remember that what you deny you MUST have known. And if you can accept denial, YOU CAN ACCEPT ITS UNDOING.
Your Father has not denied you. He does not retaliate, but He DOES call to you to return. When you think He has not answered your call, YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED HIS. He calls to you from every part of the Sonship, because of His love for His Son. If you hear His message, He HAS answered you, and you will learn what you are of Him, if you hear aright. The love of God is in everything He created, for His Son is everywhere. Look with peace upon your brothers, and God will come rushing into your heart, in gratitude for your gift to Him.
Do not look to the god of sickness for healing, but only to the God of love, for healing is the acknowledgment of Him. When you acknowledge Him, you will KNOW that He has never ceased to acknowledge you, and that in His acknowledgment OF you lies your Being. You are not sick, and you cannot die. But you CAN confuse your self with things that do. Remember, though, that to do this IS blasphemy, for it means that you are looking without love on God and His Creation, from which He cannot be separated. Only the eternal can be loved, for love does not die. What is of God is His forever, and you ARE of God. Would He allow Himself to suffer? And would He offer His Son anything that is not acceptable to Him?
If you will accept yourself as God created you, you will be incapable of suffering. But to do this, you must acknowledge Him as your Creator. This is not because you will be punished otherwise. It is merely because your acknowledgment of your Father IS the acknowledgment of yourself as you ARE. Your Father created you Wholly without sin, wholly without pain, and wholly without suffering of any kind. If you deny Him, you bring sin, pain, and suffering into your OWN mind, because of the power He gave it. Your mind is capable of creating worlds, but it can also DENY what it creates, because it is free.
You do not realize how much you have denied yourself, and how much God, in His love, would not have it so. Yet He would not interfere with you, because He would not know His Son if he were not free. To interfere with you would be to attack HIMSELF, and God is not insane. When you denied HIM, you WERE insane. Would you have Him SHARE your insanity? God will never cease to love His Son, and His Son will never cease to love Him. That was the condition of His Son's Creation, fixed forever in the Mind of God. To know that is sanity. To deny it is insanity. God gave HIMSELF to you in your Creation, and His gifts ARE eternal. Would you deny yourself to Him?
Out of your gifts to Him, the Kingdom will be restored to His Son. His Son removed himself from His gift by refusing to accept what had been created FOR him, and what he himself had created in the name of His Father. Heaven waits for his return, for it was created as the dwelling place of God's Son. You are not at home anywhere else, or in any other condition. Do not deny yourself the joy which was created FOR you, for the misery you have made for yourselves. God has given you the means for undoing what you have made. Listen, and you WILL learn what you are.
If God knows His children as wholly sinless, it is blasphemous to perceive them as guilty. If God knows His children as wholly without pain, it is blasphemous to perceive suffering anywhere. If God knows his children to be wholly joyous, it is blasphemous to feel depressed. All these illusions, and the many other forms which blasphemy may take, are REFUSALS TO ACCEPT CREATION AS IT IS. If God created His Son perfect, that is how you must learn to see him, to learn of his reality. And as part of the Sonship, THAT IS HOW YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF TO LEARN YOURS.
Do not perceive ANYTHING God did not create, or you ARE denying Him. His is the ONLY Fatherhood, and it is yours only because HE has given it to you. Your gifts to YOURSELF are meaningless, but your gifts to YOUR creations are like His, because they are given in His Name. That is why your creations are as real as His. But the real Fatherhood must be acknowledged, if the real Son is to be known. You believe that the sick things which you have made are your real creations, because you believe that the sick images you perceive are the Sons of God.
Only if you ACCEPT the Fatherhood of God will you have anything, because His Fatherhood GAVE you everything. That is why to deny Him IS to deny yourself. Arrogance is the denial of love, because love shares and arrogance withholds. As long as both appear to you to be desirable, the concept of choice, which is not of God, will remain with you. While this is not true in Eternity, it IS true in time, so that, while time lasts in YOUR minds, there WILL be choices. Time itself WAS your choice. If you would remember Eternity, you must learn to look on only the Eternal. If you allow yourselves to become preoccupied with the temporal, you are LIVING IN TIME. As always, your choice is determined by what you value. Time and Eternity cannot both be real, because they contradict each other. If you will accept only what is timeless as real, you will begin to understand Eternity, and make it yours.
God's MEANING waits in the Kingdom because that is where He placed it. It does NOT wait in time. It merely RESTS there (in the Kingdom) because it BELONGS there, as YOU do. How can you, who ARE God's meaning, perceive yourselves as absent FROM it? You can see yourselves as separated FROM your meaning only by EXPERIENCING YOURSELF AS UNREAL. This is WHY the ego is insane; it teaches that you are NOT what you ARE. This is so contradictory that it is clearly impossible. It is therefore a lesson which you CANNOT REALLY LEARN, and therefore CANNOT REALLY TEACH. But you ARE always teaching. You MUST, then, be teaching SOMETHING ELSE AS WELL, even though the ego DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS.
The ego, then, IS always being undone, and DOES suspect your motives. Your mind CANNOT be unified in allegiance to the ego, because the mind does NOT BELONG to it. But what is "treacherous" to the ego IS faithful to peace. The ego's "enemy" is therefore YOUR friend. We said before that the ego's friend is not part of you but that is because the ego perceives itself as at war and therefore in need of allies. YOU, who are NOT at war, must look for brothers and RECOGNIZE all you see AS brothers, because ONLY EQUALS ARE AT PEACE.
Because God's equal Sons have everything, they CANNOT compete. But if they perceive ANY of their brothers as anything OTHER than their perfect equals, the IDEA of competition HAS entered their minds. Do not underestimate your need to be vigilant AGAINST this idea, because ALL your conflicts come FROM it. It IS the belief that conflicting interests are possible, and therefore means that you have accepted the IMpossible as true. How is that different from saying that you are perceiving YOURSELF as unreal?
To be IN the Kingdom is merely to focus your full attention ON it. As long as you believe that you can ATTEND to what is NOT true, you are accepting conflict as your CHOICE. IS IT REALLY A CHOICE? It SEEMS to be, but seeming and reality are hardly the same. You who ARE the Kingdom are not concerned with seeming. Reality is yours because you ARE reality. This is how having and being are ultimately reconciled, NOT in the Kingdom, but IN YOUR MINDS. The altar there is the ONLY reality. It is PERFECTLY clear in its thought, because it is a reflection of PERFECT Thought. It SEES only brothers because it sees ONLY in its own Light.
God has lit your minds Himself, and keeps your mind lit BY His light because His light is WHAT YOUR MINDS ARE. This is TOTALLY beyond question. And when YOU questioned it, you WERE answered. The answer merely UNDOES the question by establishing the fact that to QUESTION reality is to question MEANINGLESSLY. That is why the Holy Spirit NEVER questions. Its sole function is to UNdo the questionable, and thus LEAD TO CERTAINTY. The certain are perfectly calm, because they are not in doubt. They do NOT raise questions because NOTHING QUESTIONABLE ENTERS THEIR MINDS. This holds them in perfect serenity because this is what they SHARE, KNOWING what they are.
Healing is both an art and a science, as has so often been said. It is an art because it depends on inspiration in the sense that we have already used the term. Inspiration is the opposite of dis-spiriting, and therefore means to make joyful. The dis-spirited are depressed because they believe that they are literally "without the Spirit," which is an illusion. You do not PUT the Spirit in them by inspiring them, because that would be "magic," and therefore would not be real healing. But you DO recognize the Spirit that is ALREADY THERE, and thereby REAWAKEN IT. This is why the healer is part of the Resurrection and the LIFE. The SPIRIT is not asleep in the minds of the sick, but the part of the mind that can perceive it and be glad IS.
Healing is also a science because it obeys the laws of God, whose laws are true. BECAUSE they are true, they are perfectly dependable, and therefore universal in application. The real aim of science is neither prediction nor control, but ONLY UNDERSTANDING. This is because it does NOT establish the laws it seeks; CANNOT discover them through prediction, and has NO control over them at all. Science is nothing more than an approach to WHAT ALREADY IS. Like inspiration, it can be misunderstood as magic, and WILL be whenever it is undertaken as SEPARATE from what already is, and perceived as a means for ESTABLISHING it. To believe this is possible is to believe YOU CAN DO IT. This can ONLY be the voice of the ego.
Truth can only be RECOGNIZED, and NEED only be recognized. Inspiration is of the Spirit, and certainty is of God according to His laws. Both therefore come from the same Source, because inspiration comes from the voice FOR God and certainty comes from the laws OF God. Healing does not come DIRECTLY from God, who knows His Creations as perfectly whole. But healing is nevertheless OF God, because it proceeds from His Voice and from His laws. It is their RESULT in a state of mind which does not know Him. The STATE is unknown to Him, and therefore does not exist. But those who sleep are stupefied, or better, UNAWARE. And BECAUSE they are unaware THEY DO NOT KNOW.
The Holy Spirit must work THROUGH you to teach you He is IN you. This is an intermediary step toward the knowledge that YOU are in God BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF HIM. The miracles which the Holy Spirit inspires CAN have no order, because every part of Creation IS of one order. This is God's will AND yours. The laws of God ESTABLISH this, and the Holy Spirit reminds you OF it. When you heal, you are REMEMBERING THE LAWS OF GOD and FORGETTING the laws of the ego. We said before that forgetting is merely a way of REMEMBERING BETTER. It is therefore NOT the opposite of remembering, when it is properly conceived. Perceived IMproperly, it induces a perception of CONFLICT WITH SOMETHING ELSE, as all incorrect perception does. PROPERLY perceived, it can be used as a way OUT of conflict, as all proper perception can.
ALL abilities, then should be given over to the Holy Spirit, WHO KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM PROPERLY. He can use them ONLY for healing, because He knows you ONLY as whole. BY healing you learn of wholeness, and by learning of wholeness you learn to remember God. You HAVE forgotten Him, but the Holy Spirit still knows that YOUR forgetting MUST be translated into a way of remembering, and NOT perceived as a SEPARATE ability which OPPOSES AN OPPOSITE. This is the way in which the ego tries to use ALL abilities, because its goal is ALWAYS to make YOU believe that YOU are in opposition.
The ego's goal is as unified as the Holy Spirit's, and it is BECAUSE of this that their goals can NEVER be reconciled in ANY way or to ANY extent. The ego ALWAYS seeks to divide and separate. The Holy Spirit ALWAYS seeks to unify and HEAL. As you heal, you ARE healed because the Holy Spirit sees NO ORDER OF HEALING. Healing IS the way to undo the belief in differences, because it is the ONLY way of perceiving the Sonship WITHOUT this belief. This perception is therefore IN accord with the laws of God even in a state of mind which is OUT of accord with His. But the strength of right perception is so great that it brings the mind INTO accord with His, because it yields to His pull which IS in all of you.
To oppose the pull or the will of God is not an ability but a real delusion. The ego believes that it HAS this ability, and can offer this ability to YOU as a gift. YOU DO NOT WANT IT. It is NOT a gift. It is NOTHING AT ALL. God HAS given you a gift, which you both HAVE and ARE. When you do not USE it, you do not know you HAVE it. By not knowing this, you do NOT know what you ARE. Healing, then, is a way of APPROACHING knowledge by THINKING in accordance with the laws of God and RECOGNIZING THEIR UNIVERSALITY. WITHOUT this recognition, you have made the laws themselves meaningless TO you. But the LAWS are not meaningless, because all meaning is contained BY them, and IN them.
Seek ye FIRST the Kingdom of Heaven, because that is where the laws of God operate truly, and they can operate ONLY truly, because they are the laws of Truth. But SEEK THIS ONLY, because you can FIND nothing else. There IS nothing else. God is all in all in a very literal sense. All being is in Him because He IS all Being. YOU are therefore in Him because YOUR being IS His. Healing is a way of FORGETTING the sense of danger that the ego has induced in YOU by not recognizing its existence in your brothers. This strengthens the Holy Spirit in BOTH of you, because it is a REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE FEAR. Love needs only this invitation. It comes freely to ALL the Sonship, because it is what the Sonship IS. By their awakening TO it, they merely forget what they are NOT. This enables them to remember what they ARE.
Attack is ALWAYS physical. When attack in ANY form enters your mind, you are EQUATING YOURSELF WITH A BODY. This is the ego's INTERPRETATION of the body. You do not have to ATTACK physically to accept this interpretation; you ARE accepting it simply by the belief that attack can GET YOU SOMETHING YOU WANT. If you did NOT believe this, the IDEA of attack would have no appeal to you.
When you equate yourself with a body, you will ALWAYS experience depression. When a Child of God thinks of himself in this way, he is belittling himself and seeing his brothers as similarly belittled. Since he can find himself ONLY in them, he has cut himself off from salvation. Remember that the Holy Spirit interprets the body ONLY as a means of communication. Being the communication link between God and His separated Sons, He interprets everything YOU have in the light of what HE is.
The ego SEPARATES through the body. The Holy Spirit reaches THROUGH it to others. You do not perceive your brothers as the Holy Spirit does because you do not interpret their bodies AND YOURS solely as a means of JOINING THEIR MINDS and uniting them with yours and mine. This interpretation of the body will change your mind entirely about its value. Of itself it has NONE. If you use it for attack it is harmful to you. But if you use it ONLY to reach the minds of those who believe they ARE bodies and teach them THROUGH the body that THIS IS NOT SO, you will begin to understand the power of the mind that is in both of you. If you use the body for this, and ONLY for this, you CANNOT use it for attack. In the service of uniting, it becomes a beautiful lesson in communion, which has value until communion IS.
This is God's way of making unlimited what YOU have limited. His Voice does not see the body as YOU do, because He knows the ONLY reality that ANYTHING can have is the service it can render God on behalf of the function HE has given. Communication ENDS separation. Attack PROMOTES it. The body is ugly or beautiful, savage or holy, helpful or harmful, according to the use to which it is put. And in the body of another you will see the use to which you put YOURS.
If the body becomes for you a means which you give to the Holy Spirit to use on behalf of the union of the Sonship, you will not see ANYTHING physical except as WHAT IT IS. Use it for truth, and you will see it truly. MISuse it and you WILL misunderstand it, because you have already done so BY misusing it. Interpret ANYTHING apart from the Holy Spirit, and you will mistrust it. This will lead you to hatred and attack and LOSS OF PEACE.
But ALL loss comes only from your own misunderstanding. Loss of ANY kind is impossible. When you look upon a brother as a physical entity, HIS power and glory are lost to you and SO ARE YOURS. You HAVE attacked him, and you MUST have attacked yourself first. Do not see him this way for your OWN salvation, which MUST bring him his. Do not ALLOW him to belittle himself in YOUR mind, but give him freedom from his belief in littleness, and escape from YOURS. As part of YOU, HE is holy. As part of ME, YOU are. To communicate with part of God Himself is to reach beyond the Kingdom to its Creator, through His Voice which He has established as part of YOU.
Rejoice, then, that of yourselves you can do nothing. You are not OF yourselves. And He of Whom you ARE has willed your power and glory FOR you, with which you can perfectly accomplish His holy Will for you when you so will it yourself. He has not withdrawn His gifts from YOU, but YOU have withdrawn them from Him. Let no Son of God remain hidden for His Name's sake, because His Name is YOURS.
Remember that the Bible says, "The word (or thought) was made flesh." Strictly speaking, this is impossible, since it seems to involve the translation of one order of reality into another. Different orders of reality merely SEEM to exist, just as different orders of miracles do. Thought cannot be MADE into flesh except by belief, because thought is NOT physical. But thought IS communication, for which the body can be used. This is the only NATURAL use to which it can be put. To use the body UNnaturally is to lose sight of the Holy Spirit's purpose, and thus to confuse the goal of His curriculum.
There is nothing so frustrating to a learner as to place him in a curriculum which he cannot learn. His sense of adequacy suffers, and he MUST become depressed. Being faced with an impossible learning situation, REGARDLESS of why it is impossible, is the most depressing thing in the world. In fact, it is ultimately WHY the world is depressing. The Holy Spirit's curriculum is NEVER depressing because it is a curriculum in joy. Whenever the reaction to learning is depression, it is only because the goal of the curriculum has been lost sight of.
In the world, not even the body is perceived as whole. Its purpose is seen as fragmented into many functions which bear little or no relationship to each other, so that it appears to be ruled by chaos. Guided by the ego, it IS. Guided by the Holy Spirit, it is NOT. It becomes ONLY a means by which the part of the mind which you have separated from your Soul can reach beyond its distortions and RETURN to the Soul. The ego's temple thus becomes the temple of the Holy Spirit, where devotion to Him replaces devotion to the ego. In this sense the body DOES become a temple to God, because His Voice abides in it by directing the use TO WHICH YOU PUT IT.
Healing is the result of using the body SOLELY for communication. Since this IS natural, it heals by making whole, which is also natural. ALL mind is whole, and the belief that part of it is physical or NOT MIND is a fragmented (or sick) interpretation. Mind CANNOT be made physical, but it CAN be made manifest THROUGH the physical if it uses the body to GO BEYOND itself. By reaching OUT, the mind EXTENDS itself. It does not STOP at the body, for if it does it is blocked in its purpose. A mind which has been blocked has allowed itself to be vulnerable to attack, because it has TURNED AGAINST ITSELF.
The removal of blocks, then, is the ONLY way to guarantee help and healing. Help and healing are the normal expressions of a mind which is working THROUGH the body but not IN it. If the mind believes the body is its GOAL, it WILL distort its perception OF the body, and by blocking its own extension BEYOND it will INDUCE illness by FOSTERING SEPARATION. Perceiving the body AS A SEPARATE ENTITY cannot BUT foster illness, because it is not true. A medium of communication WILL lose its usefulness if it is used for anything else.
To use a medium of communication as a medium of ATTACK is an obvious confusion in purpose. To communicate is to join and to attack is to separate. How can you do both simultaneously WITH THE SAME THING, and NOT suffer? Perception of the body can be unified only by ONE PURPOSE. This releases the mind from the temptation to see it in many lights, and gives it over ENTIRELY to the One Light in which it can be really understood at all.
To confuse a learning device with a curriculum GOAL is a fundamental confusion. Learning can hardly be meaningfully arrested at its own aids, and hope to understand them OR its real purpose. Learning must lead BEYOND the body to the re-establishment of the power of the mind IN it. This can be accomplished ONLY if the mind EXTENDS to other minds, and does not ARREST ITSELF in its extension. The arrest of the mind's extension is the cause of all illness, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND's FUNCTION. Block this, and you have blocked health because you have BLOCKED THE MIND's JOY.
The opposite of joy is depression. When your learning promotes depression INSTEAD of joy, you CANNOT be listening to God's joyous teacher, and you MUST be learning amiss. To see a body as anything EXCEPT a means of pure extension is to limit your mind and HURT YOURSELF. Health is therefore nothing more than united purpose. If the body is brought under the purpose of the mind, it becomes whole because the mind's purpose IS one.
Attack can only be an assumed goal of the body, but the body APART from the mind HAS NO PURPOSE AT ALL. You are NOT limited by the body, and thought CANNOT be made flesh. But mind can be manifested through the body if it goes beyond it and DOES NOT INTERPRET IT AS LIMITATION. Whenever you see another as limited TO or BY the body, you are imposing this limit ON YOURSELF. Are you willing to ACCEPT this, when your whole purpose for learning should be to escape FROM limitations?
To conceive of the body as a means of attack of any kind, and to entertain even the possibility that joy could POSSIBLY result, is a clear-cut indication of a poor learner. He has accepted a learning goal in obvious contradiction to the unified purpose of the curriculum, and is interfering with his ability to accept it AS HIS OWN.
Joy is unified purpose, and unified purpose is ONLY God's. When yours is unified, it IS His. Interfere with His purpose, and YOU NEED SALVATION. You have condemned yourself, but condemnation is not of God. Therefore, it is not true. No more are any of the RESULTS of your condemnation. When you see a brother as a body, you are condemning him BECAUSE you have condemned yourself. But if ALL condemnation is unreal, and it MUST be unreal because it is a form of attack, then it can HAVE no results.
Do not allow yourselves to suffer from the results of what is not true. Free your minds from the belief that this is possible. In its complete impossibility, and your full awareness OF its complete impossibility, lies your only hope for release. But what other hope would you want? Freedom from illusions lies only in not BELIEVING them. THERE IS NO ATTACK, but there IS unlimited communication and therefore unlimited power and wholeness. The power of wholeness is EXTENSION. Do not arrest your thought in this world, and you will open your mind to Creation in God.
What is true is true. God's truth and reality are the only truth and reality. God's truth is permanent and cannot be changed or damaged. This means that you can either accept tit, or you can PRETEND it is not true, but you cannot change it into something truly false.
This means you can accept or deny it, and you have no other options. Denial does not make the truth change or go away, it merely is an attempt to hide FROM it, pretending it is not there, while it still is there.
When we went into the separation from God, all we did was enter a state of denial. An attempt to shut out God from our awareness and bury our head in the sand pretending that God does not exist. The world was made in an effort to be somewhere where could doesn't exist, made in a thought of denial and completely insane.
This denial comes about through the belief that sin is real, which induces guilt. Guilt then becomes a block to the awareness of love, because you can only be guilty if you are unforgivable.
"The world was made as a place where God could enter not."
"For it is guilt that has obscured the Father to you, and it is guilt that has driven you insane."
"The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there were a body is sin possible."
So we made a world, opposite to God's world, made of denial, built on guilt and sin, in a state of insanity, attempting to go unconscious to God and therefore deny our own existence, aiming towards a state of self destruction and death.
"The world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's son."
"We CANNOT be united in crucifixion and in death."
"The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt. Look carefully at this world, and you will realize that this is so."
"The hell you made."
So we end up with a hellish world which is a state of the DENIAL OF GOD.
What we essentially did is we took our natural ability to DENY ILLUSIONS, to deny death, to deny attack and fear and sin and guilt, and we flipped it on its head. We used denial AGAINST reality instead of FOR the protection of it.
We're now in a position where this must be reversed. The world, and the body, are MADE OF denial. They are the denial of reality. They are the denial of the Kingdom. It now becomes our task to flip denial back around and USE IT properly, as a corrective device, to UNDO the "denial of God". To use denial in its proper way, as a defense and a protection AGAINST illusions, and as a way to keep illusions OUT of our minds.
The ego, our belief in the world of sin, is the denial of truth. This denial is in turn an ASSERTION that the opposite of the truth is true. That the opposite of eternal life, which is death, is true. False denial is therefore the ASSERTION of death. It's an attempt to EXPRESS death, to make death real, to make death happen, and to make death permanent.
The opposite to this assertion of death is the assertion of LIFE. And this is what resurrection means. And by asserting life we do the complete opposite to denying the truth. This runs AGAINST THE GRAIN of the world, against every way the world is set up, against all its forms and natures and laws, and VIOLATES every law of space and time.
"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely."
To use denial correctly, ie the proper use of denial, you are to DENY that every aspect of the world of illusions is real. You are to DENY, reject, not believe, assert against, oppose, cancel, undermine, question, remove faith in, stop trusting, detach from, overlook, forgive, and let go of, all of the insane manifestations of the denial of God. And that includes the rejection of death.
"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it."
"It denies the ability of anything which is not of God to effect you in any way. This is the PROPER use of denial. It is not used to HIDE anything, but it IS used to correct error. It brings ALL error into the light, and since error and darkness are the same, it abolishes error automatically."
An improper use of denial happens when you first of all believe that something about the world is TRUE. Such as the belief that the body really exists. If you hold this belief, AND THEN claim that it does not exist in an attempt to "deny its existence", but without letting go of the denial of God that PRODUCES the body.... your belief in it, you are simultaneously denying God while trying to deny the body. This is now a denial UPON a denial, and is now twice removed from reality. It's a double-denial and this is what an IMPROPER use of denial means - using denial to make denial worse.
"The body is merely a fact. Its ABILITIES can, and frequently are, overevaluated. However, it is almost impossible to deny its existence. Those who do are engaging in a particularly unworthy form of denial." This does not mean bodies are REAL just because they are "facts", it just means the body is what it is and is an inherent part of the dream. It only means that if you PRETEND not to believe in them while YOU STILL HAVE ONE, you are probably in a double-denial. True denial would erase the body completely.
You have to be willing to question the ORIGINAL denial of God, the assertion of death, the belief that bodies really exist, the belief that the world is real. If you KEEP these beliefs while DECEIVING yourself, lying to yourself, that you believe the opposite, then you are IN DENIAL about being in denial. And that is how the ego operates. It is worse and not an improvement. The ego is always about INCREASING denial of the truth this way.
The body and the world and sickness and death MUST be denied, but they must be CORRECTLY and HONESTLY denied. That means recognizing how the world and body etc ARE denials of God's truth, and then DENYING them any power, reality, truth, belief, withdrawing all investment in them, cancelling your belief in them, and therefore UNDOING them. Doing this is ATONING, because "to atone is to undo." This is also why miracles UNDO. They cancel ie DENY illusions of death any existence.
"The miracle does nothing. All it does (which IS a kind of doing) is to UNdo. And thus it ***cancels*** out the interference to what HAS BEEN done. It does not add, but merely ***takes away.***"
"The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH. The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs, because that light IS theirs."
"This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. YOU CANNOT SEE BOTH WORLDS. For each of them involves a different kind of seeing, and depends on what you cherish. The sight of one is possible because you have DENIED THE OTHER."
It's important to realize that when you attempt to "cancel a sickness", that you don't get lost in making it real. If you assert, for example, that "that sickness does not exist.", which has some cancelling/denying properties to it, you ARE first of all making the sickness REAL and then are attempting to DENY the existence of the sickness. This is a double-bind and is an improper use of denial. In effect you work against yourself by asserting BOTH positions at once.
When you make statements of asserting the cancellation of sin/attack/death etc, if your focus is on what you see/dream of as "the apparent sickness", the physical real-seeming problem, know that your cancellation efforts are in fact attempts to CORRECT YOUR OWN MIND.
By reminding yourself of why what you see is NOT THERE, you are attempting to move from false perception TO true perception. You are trying to use denial to undo your own mistaken perceptions. This is important to do, but it is not the end of the story.
If you see a sickness and then work on "cancelling" your belief in it, this is an act of receiving CORRECTION for your own false perceptions. It's an attempt to correct your faulty beliefs and remove YOUR denial of the truth. This prepares you because it opens the way for true perception and for love to extend, but it should not really be mistaken for healing of ANOTHER person.
Focusing on someone's sickness and using cancellation/denial to try to "deprogram it", you're really just battling with your own false perceptions try to to get your own mind corrected so that you can SEE and RECOGNIZE that the sickness is not there. But this effort is one of moving UP TOWARD forgiveness/true perception, and isn't itself an EXPRESSION of healing love.
Once you have cancelled out your OWN mistaken judgements, and have used proper denial to remove your wrong beliefs and projections, moving into forgiveness, you regain vision. You become able to express love. You become able to extend. Your miracle working power THEN switches on. Because it is the expression of love and the ASSERTION OF LIFE that actually heals.
To atone and forgive and cancel and undo is really an act of flattening out, diminishing, depleting, taking power away from, what has been projected by you. This is preparation. Or you could say, this is your own purification. It's necessary in order to get your mind into a miracle minded state. But once you're IN that state, that's when the light starts to radiate unhindered, when you recognize that illusions ARE illusions, and when you can now GIVE life to another.
In the Song of Prayer, Jesus says, "forgive first, then pray." This is what it means. Cancel out all of YOUR beliefs in the reality and existence of the "real sickness" first, to purify your mind and perception, so that you can attain whole mindedness. "The perceptual content of miracles is wholeness." THEN you can pray to God to receive the love that you then can express as a miracle.
"Through prayer love is received. Through miracles love is expressed."
So you use a form of denial to get your mind back into the forgiving state. Then you are ready to ASSERT LIFE, and thus BE the resurrection. And now you can GIVE the strength and power of God's love, because you have opened yourself up to it. HIS love then does the healing for your brother through extension.
"They heal because they deny body-identification and affirm Soul-identification."
The assertion of LIFE is more than just to say, that you don't believe death exists. It's more than just the UNDOING of the idea of sickness. It's the active powerful forceful EXPRESSION of ACTUAL LIFE. The radiation of light into your brother's mind. The recognition of his holy christ self, and the willingness to extend love to him.
To assert life means to believe that ONLY LIFE IS TRUE. Add this means the COMPLETE REJECTION of the idea of sickness and death. Not merely to believe the IDEA that there is no death, but to actually BE THE LIFE that OVERRIDES it.
What this really boils down to is, we need to learn how to approach people from the perspective that they ARE AS GOD CREATED THEM. Even if they seem to be in a body. Our BELIEF about them must ONLY be that they are still as God created them. NOT off on some distant plane of existence, in some other dimension, but HERE AND NOW!
My brother, I do not believe you are a body. My brother, you are Christ. My brother, you are immortal. My brother, you cannot be sick or die. My brother, there is no sickness. My brother, you are still perfectly innocent. My brother, you are always happy. My brother, you deserve God's love. These kind of sentiments must be expressed and shared and given. Towards the person standing in front of you.
In a sense, we are to treat people NOW, while we're here, the way we WOULD treat them if we were in heaven. This is what holy relationship is about. It is a reflection of heaven's real relationships. You are to believe that the only things true of your brother are what GOD defined as true of him. And you are to relate to him in recognition that HE IS THAT NOW. From that perspective.
If he is pretending to suffer and be sick and die, you should be DISMISSING his attempt to prove his sinfulness and LAUGH in the face of his efforts to destroy what cannot be destroyed. You are to REMIND HIM of what is true of him. And that includes the FIRM CONVICTION that he is immortal and NOT SICK, HAS no faults, IS not sinful, CANNOT be hurt, HAS NEVER attacked, is UNFOUNDED in his guilt, and IS LITERALLY immortal and sane right now.
To do this requires YOUR denial that what the physical senses show is true. It requires YOU not being deceived by illusions. It requires YOU recognizing your brother's innocence and holiness. It requires YOU not being deluded to think he is a body, or you. It requires YOU to ASSERT that THERE IS ONLY ETERNAL LIFE, and anything else you might assert has to be dropped. And by affirming the truth about him only, devoid of ego bullshit, you INFUSE him with his own light and heal him.
"Teach only love, for that is what you are."
You must not believe that ANYONE is sick. Sickness is a lie. You must believe that everyone is immortal and can never die. There is no death, the son of God is free. EXPRESS THIS. Treat everyone like they are permanently alive, and recognize in this light that anything ELSE to the contrary must be a ridiculous lie. By affirming ONLY LIFE, you are the resurrection and the life, and you now SUPPORT AND HEAL your brother of HIS self-inflicted suffering.
By NOT SUPPORTING your brother's delusions about being sick or dead, or unhappy or depressed, or suffering or victimized, you WEAKEN his belief that these things are true of him and REMIND HIM of what is true. Your remembering IS HIS.
"Do not allow your brother not to remember (that he is immortal innocent spirit), for his forgetfulness is YOURS. But YOUR remembering is HIS, for God cannot be remembered alone. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN. To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself, is thus the way to remember God. For you forgot your brothers WITH Him, and God's answer to your forgetting is but the way to remember."
Use true denial OF denial, to reject what is not true, and assert what is true. The world, the body, sickness, suffering, death, MUST all be denied. Even the notion that any of these things EXISTS must be denied. There literally IS no real death or sickness. There is no real sin or guilt. This whole world is a LIE. It is the denial of truth. It is utterly FALSE!
You must not believe its ASSERTIONS that sickness, malfunction, damage, attack, vulnerability, corrosion, decay, or any other kind of imperfection exists. They were illusions made to blind you and keep you in hell.
"The world you see is an illusion of a world, God did not create it. For what He creates must be eternal as Himself."
REJECT THE WORLD. DENY IT ANY TRUTH. REJECT DEATH. CHOOSE LIFE. ASSERT RESURRECTION. HEAL YOUR BROTHER. REMIND HIM OF HIS IMMORTALITY.
When you are afraid of ANYTHING, you are acknowledging its power to hurt you. Remember that where your heart is, there is your treasure also. This means that you believe in what you VALUE. If you are AFRAID, you are VALUING WRONG. Human understanding will inevitably value wrong, and by endowing all human thoughts with equal power, will inevitably DESTROY peace. This is why the Bible speaks of "The peace of God which PASSETH (human) understanding."
THIS peace is totally incapable of being shaken by human errors of any kind. It denies the ability of anything which is not of God to effect you in any way.
This is the PROPER use of denial. It is not used to HIDE anything, but it IS used to correct error. It brings ALL error into the light, and since error and darkness are the same, it abolishes error automatically.
True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it.
You can do ANYTHING I ask. I have asked you to perform miracles, and have made it VERY clear that these are NATURAL, CORRECTIVE, HEALING, and UNIVERSAL. There is nothing good they cannot do. But they cannot be performed in the spirit of doubt. Remember my own question, before you ask yours "Oh ye of little faith, wherefore didst thou DOUBT." (Reference to Christ and the apostles walking on water.)
You have asked YOURSELVES why you cannot really incorporate my words (the idea of cannibalism in connection with the Sacrament is a reflection of a distorted view of sharing. I told you before that the word "thirst" in connection with the Spirit was used in the Bible because of the limited understanding of those to whom I spoke. I also told you NOT to use it. The same holds for expressions like "feeding on.")Symbiosis is misunderstood by the mentally ill, who use it that way. But I also told you that you must recognize your total dependence on God, a statement which you did not like.)
God and the Souls He created ARE symbiotically related. They are COMPLETELY dependent on each other. The creation of the Soul itself has already been perfectly accomplished, but the creation BY Souls has not. God created Souls so He could depend on them BECAUSE He created them perfectly. He gave them His peace so they would not be shaken, and would be unable to be deceived. Whenever you are afraid, you ARE deceived. Your mind is NOT serving your Soul. This literally starves the Soul by denying its daily bread. Remember the poem about the Holy Family which crossed your mind last night:
"Where tricks of words are never said
And mercy is as plain as bread."
The reason why that had such a strong impact on you originally was because you knew what it MEANT.
God offers ONLY mercy. Your own words should ALWAYS reflect only mercy, because that is what you have received, and that is what you should GIVE. Justice is a temporary expedient, or an attempt to teach man the meaning of mercy. Its JUDGMENTAL side rises only because man is capable of INJUSTICE if that is what his mind creates. You are afraid of God's will because you have used your own will, which He created in the likeness of His own, to MISCREATE.
What you do NOT realize is that the mind can miscreate only when it is NOT free. An imprisoned mind is not free by definition. It is possessed, or held back, by ITSELF. Its will is therefore limited, and not free to assert itself.
The three things that crossed your mind, which was comparatively free at the time, are perfectly relevant:
1. It is alright to remember the past, PROVIDED you also remember that ANYTHING you suffer is because of YOUR OWN ERRORS.
2. In this context, your remark that "after the burning, I swore if I ever saw him again, I would (not) ("Not" was written in later) recognize him. Note, by the way, that you did not put in the "not" until afterwards. That is because your inherent correction-device was working properly at the moment. The result is that you are NOT DENYING ME.
3. The story about Hinda. This was an excellent example of misperception which led to a totally unwarranted fear of a PERSON. (Helen Schucman story refers to a very young child who fell down the stairs when Helen Schucman had arms open in a welcoming gesture at bottom of stairs. For years afterwards, Hinda screamed upon seeing Helen Schucman.) The mis-step which caused her fall had nothing at all to do with you, just as your own mis-steps have nothing at all to do with me.
Denial of error is a very powerful defense of truth. We have slowly been shifting the emphasis from the negative to the positive use of denial. Remember, we have already stated that denial is not a purely negative device; it results in positive miscreation. That is the way the mentally ill DO employ it.
But remember a very early thought of your own, "Never underestimate the power of denial." In the service of the "Right Mind", the denial of ERROR frees the mind and re-establishes the freedom of the will. When the will is REALLY free, it CANNOT miscreate, because it recognizes ONLY TRUTH.
Projection arises out of FALSE DENIAL. Not out of its proper use. My own role in the Atonement IS one of true projection, i.e., I can project to YOU the affirmation of truth. If you project error to me (or to yourself) you are interfering with the process. My use of projection, which can also be yours, is NOT based on faulty denial. But it DOES involve the very powerful use of the denial of error.
The miracle worker is one who accepts my kind of denial and projection, unites his own inherent abilities to deny and project with mine, and imposes them back on himself and others. This establishes the total lack of threat anywhere. Together we can then work for the real time of peace, which is Eternal.
I inspired Bob (ref. to elevator man who took Helen Schucman down from her apt.) to make that remark to you, and it is a pity that you heard only the last part. But you can still use that. His remark ended with: "Every shut eye is not asleep." Since your own vision is much improved at the moment, we will go on a while.
Freud's identification of mechanisms was quite correct, as was his recognition of their creative ability. They can INDEED create man's perception, both of himself and his surroundings.
But Freud's limitations induced inevitable limits on his own perception. He made two kinds of errors.
The first is that he saw only how the mechanisms worked in the mentally ill.
The second is his own denial of the mechanism of the Atonement.
Let us take up the first, because a clear understanding of the second depends on it.
Denial should be directed only to error, and projection should be limited to truth. You should truly give as you have truly received. The Golden Rule can work effectively only on this basis.
Intellectualization is a poor word, which stems from the brain-mind confusion. "Right-Mindedness" is better. This device defends the RIGHT MIND, and gives it control over the body. "Intellectualization" implies a split, whereas "Right-Mindedness" involves healing.
Withdrawal is properly employed in the service of withdrawing from the desert. It is NOT a device for escape, but for consolidation. There IS only One Mind.
Dissociation is quite similar. You should split yourself off from error, but only in defense of integration.
Detachment is essentially a weaker form of dissociation. This is one of the major areas of withholding that both you and Bill are engaging in.
Flight can be undertaken in whatever direction you choose, but note that the concept itself implies flight FROM something. Flight from error is perfectly appropriate..
Distantiation is a way of putting distance between yourself and what you SHOULD fly from.
Regression is a real effort to return to your own original state. In this sense, it is utilized to RESTORE, not to go back to the less mature.
Sublimation should be associated with the SUBLIME.
There are many other so-called "dynamic" concepts which are profound errors due essentially to the misuse of defenses. Among them is the concept of different levels of aspiration, which results from real level confusion.
However, the main point to be understood from these notes is that you can defend truth as well as error, and in fact, much better.
So far we have concentrated on ends rather than means because unless you regard an end as worth achieving, you will not devote yourself to the means by which it can BE achieved. Your own question enabled me to shift the emphasis from end to means. (Question asked was "how can we incorporate this material?") You and Bill HAVE accepted the end as valuable, thus signifying your willingness to use defenses to ensure it.
The means are easier to clarify after the true worth of the goal itself is firmly established.
Everyone defends his own treasure. You do not have to tell him to do this, because HE will do so automatically. The real question still remains WHAT do you treasure, and HOW MUCH do you treasure it?
Once you learn to consider these two points, and bring them into ALL your actions as the true criteria for behavior, I will have little difficulty in clarifying the means. You have not learned to be consistent about this as yet. I have therefore concentrated on showing you that the means ARE available whenever you DO ask.
You can save a lot of time, however, if you do not need to extend this step unduly. The correct focus will shorten it immeasurably.
Papers will be very easy to write as this time is shortened.
The Atonement is the ONLY defense which cannot be used destructively. That is because, while everyone must eventually join it, it was not a device which was generated by man. The Atonement PRINCIPLE was in effect long before the Atonement itself was begun. The Principle was love, and the Atonement itself, was an ACT of love. Acts were not necessary before the Separation, because the time-space belief did not exist.
It was only after the Separation that the defense of Atonement, and the necessary conditions for its fulfillment were planned. It became increasingly apparent that all of the defenses which man can choose to use constructively or destructively were not enough to save him. It was therefore decided that he needed a defense which was so splendid that he could not misuse it, although he COULD refuse it. His will could not turn it into a weapon of attack, which is the inherent characteristic of all other defenses. The Atonement thus becomes the only defense which was NOT a two-edged sword.
The Atonement actually began long before the Crucifixion. Many Souls offered their efforts on behalf of the Separated Ones but they could not withstand the strength of the attack, and had to be brought back. Angels came, too, but their protection was not enough, because the Separated ones were not interested in peace. They had already split themselves, and were bent on dividing rather than reintegrating. The levels they introduced into themselves turned against each other, and they, in turn, turned against each other. They established differences, divisions, cleavages, dispersion, and all the other concepts related to the increasing splits they produced.
Not being in their Right Minds, they turned their defenses from protection to assault, and acted literally insanely. It was essential to introduce a split-proof device which could be used ONLY to heal, if it was used at all.
The Atonement was built into the space-time belief in order to set a limit on the need for the belief, and ultimately to make learning complete. The Atonement IS the final lesson. Learning itself, like the classrooms in which it occurs, is temporary. Let all those who overestimate human intelligence remember this. (Helen Schucman questions last sentence, which she perceives as threatening.) The ability to learn has no value when change of understanding is no longer necessary. The eternally creative have nothing to learn. Only after the Separation was it necessary to direct the creative force to learning, because changed behavior had become mandatory.
Human beings can learn to improve their behavior, and can also learn to become better and better learners. This increase serves (Helen Schucman notes that this was written "served") to bring them in closer and closer accord with the Sonship. But the Sonship itself is a perfect creation, and perfection is not a matter of degree. Only while there are different degrees is learning meaningful. The evolution of man is merely a process by which he proceeds from one degree to the next. He corrects his previous missteps by stepping forward. This represents a process which is actually incomprehensible in temporal terms, because he RETURNS as he progresses. (Originally, was "goes forward", rather than "progresses")
The Atonement is the device by which he can free himself from the past as he goes ahead. It UNDOES his past errors, thus making it unnecessary for him to keep retracing his steps without advancing toward his return.
In this sense, the Atonement saves time, but, like the miracle which serves it, does not abolish it. As long as there is need for Atonement, there is need for time. But the Atonement, as a completed plan, does have a unique relationship TO time. Until the Atonement is finished, its various phases will proceed IN time, but the whole Atonement stands at its end. At this point, the bridge of the return has been built.
(Note to Helen Schucman. The reason this is upsetting you is because the Atonement is a TOTAL commitment. You still think this is associated with loss. This is the same mistake ALL the Separated ones make, in one way or another. They cannot believe that a defense which CANNOT attack also IS the best defense. Except for this misperception, the angels COULD have helped them. What do you think "the meek shall inherit the earth" MEANS? They will literally take it over because of their strength. A two-way defense is inherently weak, precisely BECAUSE it has two edges it can turn against the self very unexpectedly. This tendency CANNOT be controlled EXCEPT by miracles.)
The miracle turns the defense of Atonement to the protection of the inner self, which, as it becomes more and more secure; assumes its natural talent of protecting others. The inner self knows itself as both a brother AND a son.
(The above notes were taken with great difficulty by Helen Schucman, and constitute the only series thus far that were written very slowly. When Helen Schucman asked about this, she was told, "don't worry about the notes. They are right, but YOU are not sufficiently Right-Minded yet to write about the Atonement with comfort. You will write about it yet with joy.)
(Aside from Helen Schucman: Last night I felt briefly but intensely depressed, temporarily under the impression that I was abandoned. I tried, but couldn't get through at all. After a while, I decided to give up for the time being, and He said, "don't worry. I will never leave you or forsake you." I did feel a little better, and decided I was really not sick, so I could return to my exercises. While I was exercising, I had some part-vision experiences which I found only mildly frightening at times, and quite reassuring at others.
I am not too sure of the sequence, but it began with a VERY clear assurance of love, and an equally clear emphasis on my own great value, beauty, and purity. Things got a little confusing after that. First, the idea of "Bride of Christ" occurred to me with vaguely inappropriate "undertones." Then there was a repetition of "the way of Love", and a restatement of an earlier experience, now as if it were FROM Him TO me: "Behold the Handmaid of the Lord; Be it done unto you according to His Word." (This threw me into panic before, but at that time, it was stated in the more accurate Biblical phrasing: "Be it done unto ME according to HIS Word.")This time I was a bit uneasy, but remembered I had misperceived it last time, and was probably still not seeing it right. Actually, it is really just a statement of allegiance to the Divine Service, which can hardly be dangerous.
Then there was a strange sequence, in which Christ seemed to be making very obvious advances, which became quite sexual in my perception of them. I ALMOST thought briefly that he turned into a devil. I got just a LITTLE scared, and the possession idea came in for a while, but I thought it SO silly, that there is no point in taking it seriously.
(As I am writing this, I remember that thing in the book about the demon lover, which once THROUGH me (note spelling, "threw") into a fit. I am upset, but the spelling slip is reassuring.
This morning we reviewed the whole episode. He said he was "VERY pleased at the COMPARATIVE lack of fear, and also the concomitant awareness that it WAS misperception. This showed much greater strength, and a much increased Right-Mindedness. This is because defenses are now being used much better, on behalf of truth MORE than error, though not completely so.
The weaker use of mis-projection is shown by my recognition that it can't REALLY be that way, which became possible as soon as denial was applied against error, NOT truth. This permitted a much greater awareness of alternative interpretations.
It was also explained (the shift to the passive form instead of "He also explained" should be noted. This is an expression of fear.) "Remember the section in "Letters from the Scattered Brotherhood" you read last evening about 'Hold fast', and please do so.")
(Note made on 11/15 by Helen Schucman re B's remark concerning top of p.5, 11/13.)
Yes, but I doubt if it says this is inevitable. It may entail more mis-will than we think. The above may have been too passively interpreted. Note that Bill Did NOT ask MY will re same. If he had, HE would have felt better.
You know that when defenses are disrupted there is a period of real disorientation, accompanied by fear, guilt, and usually vacillations between anxiety and depression. This process is different only in that defenses are not being disrupted, but re-interpreted, even though it may be experienced as the same thing.
In the re-interpretation of defenses, they are not disrupted but their use for ATTACK is lost. Since this means they can be used only ONE way, they became MUCH stronger, and much more dependable. They no longer oppose the Atonement, but greatly facilitate it. The Atonement can only be accepted within you.
You have perceived it largely as EXTERNAL thus far, and that is why your EXPERIENCE of it has been minimal. You have been SHOWN the chalice many times, but have not accepted it "for yourself." Your major improper use of defenses is now largely limited to externalization. Do not fail to appreciate your own remarkable progress in this respect. You perceived it first as a vessel of some sort whose purpose was uncertain but which might be a piss-pot. You DID notice, however, that the INSIDE was gold, while the OUTSIDE, though shiny, was silver. This was a recognition of the fact that the INNER part is more precious than the OUTER side, even though both are resplendent, though with different value.
The re-interpretation of defenses is essential to break open the INNER light. Since the Separation, man's defenses have been used almost entirely to defend themselves AGAINST the Atonement, and thus maintain their separation. They generally see this as a need to protect the body from external intrusion (or intruding), and this kind of misperception is largely responsible for the homosexual fallacy, as well as your own pregnancy fears. The so-called "anal" behavior is a distorted attempt to "steal" the Atonement, and deny its worth by concealing it, and holding onto it with a bodily receptacle, which is regarded as particularly vicious. "Oral" fantasies are rather similar in purpose, except that they stem more from a sense of deprivation, and insatiable thirst which results. "Anal" fallacies are more of a refusal to give, while oral fantasies emphasize a distorted need to take. The main error in both is the belief that the body can be used as a means for attaining Atonement.
Perceiving the body as the Temple is only the first step in correcting this kind of distortion. (Helen Schucman scalded hand, and looked for butter to put on. It occurred to her that the Atonement was the cure. Burn appeared to be minimal, and caused little discomfort.)
Seeing the body as the Temple alters part of the misperception, but not all of it. It DOES recognize, however, that the concept of addition or subtraction in PHYSICAL terms is not appropriate. But the next step is to realize that a Temple is not a building at all. Its REAL holiness lies in the INNER altar, around which the building is built. The inappropriate emphasis which men have put on beautiful Church BUILDINGS is a sign of their own fear of Atonement, and unwillingness to reach the altar itself. The REAL beauty of the Temple cannot be seen with the physical eye. The spiritual eye, on the other hand, cannot see the building at all, but it perceives the altar within with perfect clarity. This is because the spiritual eye has perfect vision.
For perfect effectiveness, the chalice of the Atonement belongs at the center of the inner altar, where it undoes the Separation, and restores the wholeness of the Spirit. Before the Separation, the mind was invulnerable to fear, because fear did not exist. Both the Separation and the fear were MISCREATIONS of the mind, which have to be undone. This is what the Bible means by the "Restoration of the Temple." It DOES NOT mean the restoration of the building, but it DOES mean the opening of the altar to receive the Atonement.
This heals the Separation, and places within man the one defense against all Separation-mind errors which can make him perfectly invulnerable.
The acceptance of the Atonement by everyone is only a matter of time. In fact, both TIME and MATTER were created for this purpose. This appears to contradict free will, because of the inevitability of this decision. If you review the idea carefully, you will realize that this is not true. Everything is limited in some way by the manner of its creation. Free will can temporize, and is capable of enormous procrastination. But it cannot depart entirely from its Creator, who set the limits on its ability to miscreate by virtue of its own real purpose.
The misuse of will engenders a situation which, in the extreme, becomes altogether intolerable. Pain thresholds can be high, but they are not limitless. Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point. This ultimately reawakens the spiritual eye, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight. The alternating investment in the two types or levels of perception is usually experienced as conflict for a long time, and can become very acute.
But the outcome is as certain as God. The spiritual eye literally CANNOT SEE error, and merely looks for Atonement. All the solutions which the physical eyes seek, dissolve in its sight. The spiritual eye, which looks within, recognizes immediately that the altar has been defiled, and needs to be repaired and protected. Perfectly aware of the RIGHT defense, it passes over all others, looking past error to truth. Because of the real strength of ITS vision, it pulls the will into its own service, and forces the mind to concur. This reestablishes the true power of the will, and makes it increasingly unable to tolerate delay. The mind then realizes, with increasing certitude, that delay is only a way of increasing unnecessary pain, which it need not tolerate at all. The pain threshold drops accordingly, and the mind becomes increasingly sensitive to what it would once have regarded as very minor intrusions of discomfort.
The Children of God are entitled to perfect comfort, which comes from a sense of perfect trust. Until they achieve this, they waste themselves and their true creative power on useless attempts to make themselves more comfortable by inappropriate means. But the real means is ALREADY provided, and does not involve any efforts on their part at all. Their egocentricity usually misperceives this as personally insulting, an interpretation which obviously arises from their misperception of themselves. Egocentricity and communion cannot coexist. Even the terms themselves are contradictory.
The Atonement is the only gift which is worthy of being offered to the Altar of God. This is because of the inestimable value of the Altar itself. It was created perfect, and is entirely worthy of receiving perfection. God IS lonely without His SOULS, and THEY are lonely without Him. Remember the "spiritual" (a VERY good term) which begins with "And God stepped down from Heaven and said: I'M lonely - - I'll make ME a World." The world WAS a way of healing the Separation, and the Atonement is the GUARANTEE that the device will ultimately do so.
(Helen Schucman request for special message for Bill Tell B that his delaying tactics are holding him back. He does not really understand detachment, distantiation, and withdrawal. He is interpreting them as "holding himself aloof" from the Atonement.)