Seeing yourself as deprived makes you perceive others as taking from you, and that you don't have enough left to give.

For example when I'm having some emotional release/healing, maybe I cried and I'm tired and crabby and feeling vulnerable. Maybe I'm not totally past it all yet and still am feeling whatever the lack is - lack of love, lack of peace, whatever... I'll see myself as being quite 'in need', i.e. needy.

When I see myself this way, I start to perceive everyone else as being needy too. Even if they're not. I'll perceive they're trying to take from me or demand something of me that I can't supply. I'll feel put upon and taxed and offended by the demand I see in them.

And especially if the other person is in a state of need themselves, it'll trigger anger that someone is so insensitively expecting something from me when I apparently don't have anything to give. I see them as trying to 'take take take'.

But what's really happening is I'm seeing myself - the demand in them is ME demanding FROM them. So I'm needy AND demanding, stating that I do not have what I need and someone else needs to give it to me. (Secret side-tip: although I'm saying I am in need and want to GET from others, I secretly do NOT want to get because then I would't be able to see myself as needy).

I'm the one who is actually trying to 'take take take'. I'm trying to GET, in order to make up for the lack that I perceive in myself. I'm accusing other people of trying to take because they're thwarting MY effort to take.

So as I see myself deprived and lacking, it's because I believe I don't have enough love. I believe the love is not in me and that I need to get it from someone else. So if they fail to give it, or if they demand it from ME, then I am left totally empty-handed with no way to resolve my problem, and that produces fear and anger... A sense that 'I can't and I won't... which often is in the form of a lot of reluctance or resistance or, comedically, "I can't take it anymore" (when secretly I am taking big-time).

But the thing is, seeing myself as deprived is actually the CAUSE of my perceiving a sense of lack of love, which led to the feeling of neediness, which led to the drama of being pressured to give what I don't have to needy people.

So an antidote for this... if I'm seeing myself as needy, and realizing it, is simply this:

Give love.

IMMEDIATELY this cancels out and dissolves all trace of a sense of neediness, all trace of not having enough, all trace of anger and reason for fear or resentment.

I'll be honest, I've only remember this a couple of times in real situations. One of them was just now. As soon as I suddenly remembered (after asking Holy Spirit to help) that my neediness is making me try to 'get' because I am seeing myself as deprived, it made me LAUGH. Because it introduces truth at the root of this bullshit and immediately corrected all of the EFFECTS.

I have to learn to remember this more often. When I feel shit and like I am deprived and don't have anything to give and don't want to give..... the way I am feeling is BECAUSE I don't want to give, not the other way around.

I choose to position myself as unloved and in need, which creates feelings of deprivation, which leads to the whole drama. If I choose NOT to see myself unloved by SHARING love (remember giving and receiving are both required, not sacrifice or greed), the whole problem is corrected.

And then, now that I've accepted healing of the actual problem - a lack of love - I can now give love and FULFILL the needs of others, which in fact then disappear, because they were never really needy to begin with. I was just seeing my own neediness projected.

Problem solved.

When we think of having lost someone, we might think of it in terms of ... they have gone away. And therefore I have lost them.

But I've been seeing that what really happens is ... we come to believe that we personally, ourselves, have lost something FROM ourselves. Some part or portion of our own self has become lost.

We can only really see ourselves as being in a "state" of loss if we actually believe that something has been taken away from ourselves. And this isn't just figuratively speaking, it literally goes to the depth of identity and says - some part of ME is missing.

If a person goes away and they are sort of technically lost or gone or absent, it shouldn't really mean anything in terms of whether or not you as a person are whole and complete. But if there is some ego or special relationship or body identification involved, or some kind of attachment, then when the person leaves you feel that YOU personally are losing something.

It's then not really about the other person going away, it's about actually believing somehow that WHAT YOU ARE has been diminished, what you have or what is yours or whatever, something has been taken from YOUR SELF and now you are not whole. Now you are less, lacking, in need, deprived, as if its not just a matter of someone having left - but actually a matter of something being ripped out of you like a portion of YOUR SELF has died. And now you really are grieving the loss of yourself.

So then we get into a state of experiencing loss and grief which seems to be about this other person missing, but it's really deep down a sense of YOU having died. Some part of you seems to be gone. Some part of you is lacking that is supposed to be there, they somehow became associated with the form of someone else you thought was separate.

Because ... if you were whole, how could you experience any sense of loss or lack or deprivation? If you are whole, you wouldn't be able to claim even that anything has been taken from you, that you're lacking, that you are in need, that you want something you do not have, etc. It's only by sort of taking the loss personally that you then go on to feel that you are actually at a loss - that something that "was yours" is "not there".

I am finding for myself that if I focus more on the Godly fact that God has given me everything and therefore I lack nothing, it becomes harder to claim or believe that I am at a loss. Or that loss is even possible. If I am as God created me then I must still be whole, I must be lacking nothing, in need of nothing, and can't in that wholeness justify or explain or rationalise that I have lost anything. Then what used to seem like, being hit with a sledgehammer and having something huge ripped away unfairly, softens into a mistaken perception of myself.

Indeed in that recognition of wholeness there is also a recognition of oneness, a oneness which binds you permanently to that other person who seemed to be gone, and proves to you that they have NOT gone, because they are literally YOU and are permanently a part of your self in oneness. PLUS you can still access them by being one with them in your mind. So you cannot ever lose them, provided you acknowledge the wholeness that you share.

Once you go into separation, ego, loss, the belief that "you lack", only then does it seem plausible to say that something is missing, something has been taken way (from who or what?), or something has died. And then it literally really becomes a belief that YOU have died, or some part of your own self has been lost. That you're no longer "whole" without some other separated-off person.

So I think we (speaking for myself) interpret losses of "other things" as actually loses as parts of our own self, due to the fact that we are all one. If we are one, and I "lose you", or you seem to be gone from reality, then part of my own self has been destroyed. And the belief in that is what causes the sense of loss - that some part of ME - as the whole - has been taken and is not there. It's not just about some other person, it's about seeing their absence as proof that somehow I AM LESS. And that's an ego thing.

It then boils down to whether or not you can accept that you are in and of yourself whole and complete and lacking nothing, missing nothing, deprived of nothing, and receiving love from God. As the course says, only you can deprive yourself of anything. So if you do NOT deprive yourself, how can you be in a state of lack? And if you do not deprive yourself, you do not deprive yourself of your brother either, and cannot buy into or believe they are "dead" or missing from your existence. Or from your SELF.

To be in loss and grief is really a state of believing that you are deprived, and that means you are depriving yourself. Only illusions can seem to be absent and what dies is not what the person really is anyway. Grief then means you are not recognizing that there is nothing wrong with you, that you are not lacking, that you are not in need, and that you have everything forever. That's self denial, at its root, even if on the surface it may point a finger and pretend to be about someone else. If you would remain in a state of wholeness and love, how could you experience loss at all?

We don't really ever lose anyone because we are all one forever. But believing in the loss of another must mean we believe in the loss of ourselves, per the golden rule. And it's really ourselves that needs to be put back together and remember our wholeness, so that we can end the sense of having lost anything at all. Real loss is impossible, when the truth is recognized.

The ego's experience of someone dying is horrible. Ego thinks in transactional, finite terms. As if relationship is some commodity amount that you give and lose, and then you lack, and then you need the other to give it back by losing. This is the sacrifice of specialness.

This is the opposite of the golden rule, where the ego says giving and receiving are not one. That what you give you do not give to yourself. And therefore giving is loss. It sees someone's death in rather physical terms, meaning that the form has gone and therefore there has been a one-sided loss, and now they are not giving you what you gave. The thing that was supposed to give you back, albeit separately, has stopped giving, and so you now are in a state of lack because you depended on them.

From this viewpoint the only thing you can feel is loss, which feels horrendous. It's like saying, the person is dead and thats a true fact and there's nothing you can do about it, so you might as well just be in total despair forever. But this ego perception is rooted in victimhood, ingratitude, not recognising, not appreciating, seeing oneself as deprived, unfairly treated, taken from, stolen from, and diminished. And then the ego cries. A lot.

It can reason that there is no other way, and it will have no insight into the opposite of loss, which is gain. But the Holy Spirit gives another view entirely, a totally opposite view in fact. Because as far as He's concerned, there is no loss possible in the golden rule of God. What is given is received by both. What is given is given to yourself forever. There is no room for loss at all, and there is only gain.

The way forgiveness looks at death, it regards it as a gift and a blessing, rather than a curse. It sees that the event has simply purely given to you, by which you have purely gained. You have not been deprived at all, you have only increased. A great gift has been given, and you have received it, and by recognising that you have received it you can enter into justified gratitude. And this is how gratitude becomes part of forgiveness - the recognition of the truth that there is only gain and increase under God's laws.

Gratitude is the total opposite of loss. It acknowledges that you have not lost, that nothing is missing, and that in fact you have received so much that you are overwhelmed with how much you have been given, so much that not a single trace of loss remains. And how can you then feel loss in such a perspective of having been utterly blessed? Loss is literally a lack of gratitude, an unwillingness to receive, and a denial of God's blessing.

Of course, recognising this requires dismantling the ego's interpretation of death, which sees nothing except loss and no gain at all. It sees the situation as utterly hopeless and futile, with no possibility of finding any gain in it at all, dwelling entirely on what seems to be absent, what has been stolen away, and what is no longer there. As if loss is real and permanent and total. And this is the idea of "real death".

But of course this depends on form, because the ego only really registers form "as" content, and does not recognise content at all. If a physical body is gone, yes form is gone, but the love that was in and through the body is not gone. In fact it has been given in a blessing through the person's body to you, and you have received it, and now you are it, and you extend it, and it is alive in you, continuing to be given. And that is because miracles mean endless giving - they continually extend love.

To the ego there is no benefit to you that someone has gone away. It sees only the horrifying and seemingly real deprivation, the taking away of the specialness that you loved, the exclusive source that you thought was the love itself. It sees only a dark and deceitful treachery, that has ripped its beloved treasure away and utterly destroyed it beyond all hope of recovery. And it's never coming back - a stark and horrible fact. Such is the proof of sin and death and dissolution. Then it holds this up as the only reality and truth, as if there is nothing else to it. A total fact. And within this truth, you must simply feel like absolute shit because your whole world has been destroyed forever.

But the ego is utterly blind to the truth, it has no acknowledgement of roles played, of higher purposes, of the way that someone gave transcendent of form, that what was given is still with you and still giving, that loss is impossible, and in a forgiving view you can only possibly be blessed by everything. To forgive is to truly recognise that the world is not doing anything to you, death has no power over you, and therefore it cannot cause something to be taken from you. You cannot lose, you can only win. And if you cannot lose, you must be only gaining. You must be purely receiving, and to receive unconditionally with no strings attached is love. Upon receiving such unending love the only logic response in the mind is gratitude. And gratitude is also a part of giving.

It's similar to what happens when you at first seem to be a victim of someone, and you hate them and fight with them and they seem to deprive and hurt you. But then later you forgive, and you come to realise you hired them, and they played a role that you needed for your spiritual growth, and you gained tremendously from your enemies even if they seemed to be the very people you did not want to be around. You benefited. And then as your perspective grows, you come to more fully understand who did what and why, how you consented, how you used it, and what you did to yourself. And out of that comes a recognition of the innocence of the other and yourself, and the realisation that you have only happily gained from the encounter - that it is not a loss or an attack at all. And then you can be grateful to them for helping you to learn this lesson - to move you closer to God.

Another aspect of this is that if you believe someone else has become lost to you, or that love is lost, then by the golden rule you will also believe that you are lost. And then you will become lost as well, lost in despair and grieving and feelings of loss and hopelessness. And that is because you believe it's true that some other person can be completely lost, and if thats true of them it's true of you. This is why when the loss seems to happen, you feel like you have lost part of yourself. As if it was you that died. And then you stop living. But this is the ego's reasoning as well, because nothing real can die or be lost, and certainly nothing is missing from heaven.

The antidote to loss then is the broader and deeper perspective that you have not lost anything, and have in fact only gained. When you can see that you have only gained, then your response can only be gratitude, because you have been truly blessed and given everything. You've been given freedom and life and opportunity and a future. You've been given room to grow and learn and enjoy further relationships. This isn't a fake positivity either. It's not about just trying to put on a brave face and act as if things are great in denial of loss and feelings. It's a total uprooting of the belief in loss, which is really a lack of recognition. When lessons - and death is a lesson - is correctly perceived, it is recognised as being entirely beneficial. Something that happens only for your highest good.

This also leads into why the Holy Spirit's atonement plan is solely functioning for your highest good, and everything he arranges for you to go through - which you consent to - is leading you to eternal life. If you can see it from the perspective of gratitude and blessing, without the egoic interpretation of "its a loss" or "its difficult" or "i've been deprived" etc - which is a denial of the golden rule, then it is recognised as gentle and helpful and only a blessing. If the ego enters into it, it interprets the lessons as cruel and unwanted and a curse. Something that you want to go away and stop, to fear and resist. When you stop resisting you enter acceptance and presence, and then you also find forgiveness and gratitude. God has only given, he has never taken away.

The big picture truth is simply this: everything that happens is leading you home to God. Everything. Even people seeming to die. Only forms and illusions seem to die, anyway. What is true and real and our identity is permanent and eternal. And you literally are those who seem to move on, who must still be you as well. There is no loss in truth, no loss in God, and no loss in you. There is only a complete willingness to receive God's blessing and be fully grateful for it. Really, the only reason we despair is because we think God isn't loving us anymore, and this can only be a lack of recognition of what is actually true, or an unwillingness to see it. Undoing the belief in death as a block to love brings about a revolution into gratitude and happiness.

"What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything which happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to Eternal Life."

"The laws of God work only for your good, and there ARE no other laws beside His."

"A happy outcome to all things is sure."

Some quotes from A Course in Miracles

"Children do NOT belong to parents, but they DO need to share their greater abundance. If they are deprived, their perception becomes distorted. When this occurs, the whole family of God, or the Sonship, is impaired in its relationships."

"Ultimately, every member of the family of God must return. The miracle calls to him to return, because it blesses and honors him even though he may be absent in spirit."

"Since you and your neighbor are equal members of the same family, as you perceive both, so will you behave toward both. The way to perceive for Golden Rule behavior is to look out from the perception of your own holiness and perceive the holiness of others."

"God and the Souls He created ARE symbiotically related. They are COMPLETELY dependent on each other. The creation of the Soul itself has already been perfectly accomplished, but the creation BY Souls has not. God created Souls so He could depend on them BECAUSE He created them perfectly. He gave them His peace so they would not be shaken, and would be unable to be deceived. Whenever you are afraid, you ARE deceived. Your mind is NOT serving your Soul. This literally starves the Soul by denying its daily bread. Remember the poem about the Holy Family which crossed your mind last night..."

The ego thrives on two sides of a coin: desire and fear.

Desire is its attempt to "get", which really means to steal from another and deprive them of it.

Fear is its attempt to "not get" or to "get rid of", which means to be stolen from and deprived.

These are the two sides of the same horizontal axis in which some finite amount of something is transferred to or from another, to or from the separate self.

Fear is actually a form of attack which is an attempt to murder, and an attempt to "make it go away", or a rejection of something - typically to get rid of "only what is negative".

Greed, shall we say, is more a form of selfishness and an attempt to be given "only what is positive".

So the ego is always trying to get rid of/kill what it perceives as negative, through fear, and to get more of what it regards as positive through possession or attachment.

Everyone always tries to get rid of what they consider "false", while trying to get more of what they consider "true", whether it be on the level of spirit/reality or in illusions. The ego and the soul both want what they consider to be true, and what is true is always valuable.

However, attachment through getting, also leads to the potential for loss, because you can only seem to lose what you seem to have stolen. Believing it can be stolen from another is to believe it can be stolen from you.

And similarly fear can attract to you what you do not what, in the same vein as "what you resist persists". Fearing makes it real and, while saying you do not want it, is a choice to have more of it.

So in effect the ego attacks itself by making itself be threatened by the very things it says it does not want, so that they haunt it and pursue it relentlessly. Which is why fear also entails a sort of running away and being chased (especially in dreams).

And then on the flipside the ego causes itself to lose the very things it cherishes by trying to stop them leaving, which is a kind of push/pull energy that forces them away.

In other words, attraction and repulsion are the same thing. Since the ego also fears what it thinks it wants, this prevents it from gaining it, and so deprives itself.

What you try gain you lose. What you fear comes to you. Success is failure. Failure is success. Attachment becomes loss. Gain becomes the fear of loss. Loss becomes deprivation which inspires lack and wanting, which leads to trying to get, etc. The metaphysics/dynamics/logic here is quite interesting.

And on it goes, feeding upon its own madness.

"Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering, and intense fear of loss." UrW41L1

I am not weak, but strong.

I am not helpless, but all powerful.

I am not limited, but unlimited.

I am not doubtful, but certain.

I am not an illusion, but a reality.

I cannot see in darkness, but in light.

Let's continue...

I am not afraid, but confident.

I am not confused, but clear.

I am not lost, but found.

I am not false, but true.

I am not alone, but unified.

I am not separate, but one.

I am not lacking, but complete.

I am not guilty, but sinless.

I am not sinful, but innocent.

I am not in pain, but in health.

I am not deceived, but assured.

I am not deprived, but grateful.

I am not dead, but eternal.

I am not hopeless, but joyful.

I am not angry, but peaceful.

I am not worried, but reassured.

I am not forgetful, but aware.

I am not unconscious, but knowing.

I am not pressured, but free.

I am not tense, but relaxed.

I am not upset, but calm.

I am not hateful, but forgiving.

I am not hurt, but healed.

I am not harmful, but a blessing.

I am not ego, but Christ.

I am not a body, but immortal spirit.

I am not blameful, but welcoming.

I am not a liar, but truthful.

I am not pretentious, but honest.

I am not vengeful, but gifted.

I am not forgotten, but known.

I am not rejected, but loved.

I am not abandoned, but supported.

I am not evil, but pure.

I am not a dream, but God's Creation.

I am not a fantasy, but genuine.

I am not suffering, but a blessing.

I am not undone, but immortal.

I am not grieving, but reunited.

I am not lonely, but helped.

I am not sorrowful, but relieved.

I am not stressful, but blissful.

I am not in danger, but safe.

I am not hopeless, but saved.

I am not condemned, but forgiven.

I am not unloveable, but loving.

I am not unhappy, but joyous.

I am not depressed, but liberated.

I am not diminished, but enlightened.

I am not starving, but nourished.

I am not limited, but abundant.

I am not harsh, but gentle.

I am not cold, but heartfelt.

I am not fallen, but ascended.

I am not extinct, but omnipresent.

I am not troubled, but sane.

I am not a sinner, but a savior.

I am not ugly, but beautiful.

I am not without, but within.

I am not a reject, but chosen.

I am not meaningless, but meaningful.

Add one of your own...

"The recognition of the part as whole, and of the whole in every part, is perfectly natural. For it is the way GOD thinks, and what is natural to Him, IS natural to you."

What this means is that God, who is Himself WHOLE, when He creates, He must create another WHOLE. The Son of God, or Sons of God, must be whole, in and of themselves, because they are created in the likeness and image of God. God only creates wholeness, he only creates fully (wholly), and whatever He creates MUST be whole.

This means that by creating a Son, God has added a second "whole" to the first whole. There are now at least two wholes in reality. The whole which is the Son, is a PART OF, the whole that is God, and yet the whole that is the Son, is in and of Himself, a WHOLE. He is complete, not lacking. This also continues on with the creation of all God's children, AND their creations.

The presence of multiple wholes in reality, wherein each whole is in and of itself a full complete whole, and yet also therefore MUST share with all other wholes in order to BE whole (oneness), is the natural state of the Kingdom of God. A wholeness of being, which encompasses additional whole beings.

If the idea of "many wholes" sounds like it makes no sense, it is because it makes no sense to THE EGO, who cannot comprehend whatsoever that there can ever be more than one whole. But what makes sense to the ego is nonsense, and when the ego sees nonsense it is truly sensible.

"God, who encompasses all being, nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually (are whole as individuals) and want to share it to increase their joy".

"The soul has not only been created perfect, it has been FULLY created. There is no lack in it."

"The soul is the idea of self-fullness."

"EVERY mind that God created is equally worthy of being healed because GOD CREATED IT WHOLE. "

"Holiness created me whole."

"Because the Sonship MUST create as one, you remember creation whenever you recognize part of creation. Each part you remember adds to YOUR wholeness, because each part IS whole. Wholeness"

"Every Soul God created is part of you, and shares His glory WITH you."

"He was created that YOU might be whole, for only the complete can be a part of God's Completion, Which created you."

"And God has NEVER forgotten what makes Him whole."

"Though every aspect IS the whole, you cannot KNOW this, until you SEE that every aspect IS THE SAME, perceived in the SAME light, and THEREFORE one. "

"And perception WILL last until the Sonship knows itself as whole."

"If they are deprived, their perception becomes distorted. When this occurs, the whole family of God, or the Sonship, is impaired in its relationships."

"You will be made whole as you MAKE whole"