As usual, the ego has a version of whatever the Holy Spirit has, seeking to replace it and obscure it.

It has its own version of healing, its own version of forgiveness, its own version of helpfulness, its own version of service, its own version of happiness, its own version of love, its own version of life.

If you are involved with the ego's version of any of these things, then you have lessons to learn and a clarity to attain.

The ego has a version of being helpful which involves destroying others through service.

The ego has a version of love which involves trying to take away from others what you want them to do for you.

The ego has a version of happiness which entails complete dependency on the random whim of chaos.

The ego has a version of healing based on attack and sacrifice and making sickness more real.

The ego has a version of service based on self-sacrifice and disownership of true responsibility.

In every way the ago has formed a new version of everything, even with its own version of God.

The ego's version of God is a parent who dictates and condemns and wills that you be dead. Fun.

"Free will is the attribute of the mind, NOT the Soul. The Soul always remains changeless, because it never leaves the sight of God."

"The Creation of the Soul is already fully accomplished. The mind, if it votes to do so, becomes a medium by which the Soul can create along the line of its own creation. If it does not freely elect to do so, it retains this creative ability, but places itself under tyrannous rather than authoritative control. As a result, what it creates is imprisonment, because such are the dictates of tyrants."

Realize that it is not at the SOUL LEVEL that separation takes place. There is NO EGO at the level of souls. Nothing real can be threatened. Spirit is in a state of grace forever. The SOULS do not experience the separation. The soul does not become part of the separation idea or the tiny mad idea. The soul is OUTSIDE OF the separation at all times.

And that means, the idea of there being MANY SOULS, or MANY SONS OF GOD, has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with egotism, separation, madness, dreaming, or anything to do with "the separation" AT ALL.

The fact that there are many souls (children of God) is actually BEYOND the separation idea. And it is permanent, and real, and NATURAL AND NORMAL. It's not correct to try to say that "many sons of God" or "many souls" is a SEPARATION IDEA. It is not, it's totally beyond the separation because the soul is BEYOND THE MIND. And it's only the MIND, where there is free will, which has dreamed of opposing God's will.

Souls are forever BEYOND the ego and the separation, and their many-ness has absolutely nothing to do with the ego thought system.

A few years ago, my wife was diagnosed with cancer and had to have surgery.

At the time, this seemed like a big threat. This is because I believed in the hierarchy of illusions, and so it seems like a big dangerous threatening problem.

My initial reaction to the news was actually that I almost fainted and had a panic attack. The perception that this was a serious external threat produced a lot of fear.

During the time at the hospital when she was having surgery, I felt very afraid. It took longer than expected which didn't help, and I felt very nervous about whether she was even going to make it through the surgery in one piece.

My mind started to become flooded with ego fear thoughts. I of course tried to "battle" with these and convince myself that they weren't true or that something else was true, like that she was going to be ok. But it was hard. I prayed fervently and raged at God demanding that He make sure she was ok.

The problem was, I couldn't stop having these fearful thoughts, which were coming in thick and fast. I tried to not think them but couldn't. But then something suddenly occurred to me.

In the midst of the ego "revealing" itself in the open, and showing its viciousness, it inadvertently exposed itself a bit too much. It seemed like it was trying to make me upset on purpose, and some part of me saw this as unnecessary. I realized that the hierarchy of illusions was dictating to me "how much reaction" I should have.

Given the cancer seemed like a big serious external threat, it appeared to correspond that I would have a "big reaction" to that perception. The two went hand in hand. Big problem, big reaction. The moment I saw this, it suddenly dawned on me that I was ONLY having this big insurmountable reaction because the problem seemed so big. And moreso, that I was the one perceiving it to be a big serious problem, causing this fear to erupt.

What this taught me is that I don't HAVE to have the level of reaction that the hierarchy of illusions dictates. I don't HAVE to be severely affected by a severe cause. And that really put my mind into a different perspective, above the battlefield as it were. I had an increase in awareness and started to take steps of forgiveness to see through or not believe that this was a big problem, or that its appearance was the truth. This quickly diminished the presence of the fear thoughts/fear-attack, and the ego quieted down a lot.

She made it through the surgery ok and that was the end of that drama. It was an important lesson. Sometimes you need to be shown the full-on rage of the ego's thought system in order to expose it enough to realize how it is self-defeating. We don't HAVE to have big reactions to ILLUSIONS of big problems. And this is a step towards becoming miracle minded.

This can seem extreme, and perhaps guilt inducing. But Jesus is saying that anything short of TOTAL love, is in some way murderous. Even a slight grievance, even a little annoyance, even a vague judgement. Anything short of complete and total love, has a murderous intent.

In heaven, the Golden Rule dictates that what is true of one is true of another. What is true of God is true of the Son. What is true of you is true of your brother. This means that if you believe something is true of them, it is also true of you.

What that leads to is a shared interest. You have to be loving towards everyone otherwise you will be unloving towards yourself. If you think they are evil or sinful, you are forced to believe in evil and sin, and this will apply to you as much as to them. So unless you want to hurt yourself, you have a vested interest in loving everyone all the time.

In the ego separation state, the ego pretends to violate the Golden Rule, which is God's law. It suggests, what is true of you can be DIFFERENT to what is true of another. That something can apply to you which does not apply to them, and vice versa. This leads to the idea that you can CAUSE towards them in a certain way, where you will ESCAPE the effects. Where the effects can apply to them, and not to you.

This sets up the entire ego thought system on a basis of inequality. And now the ego believes it's possible for you to attack without being hurt, to have someone else be wrong while you are right, for them to be sinful while you are innocent. And that means, you can now attack and murder and condemn and blame, without seeming to be included in the effects. In other words, that you can get away with murder. On this basis alone, the ENTIRE ego thought system is murderous.

So if there's any way in which we don't consider others to be completely equal, perfectly innocent like you, or they are in any way different, or you have anything less than a complete love towards them, you ARE being murderous. A slight annoyance with someone is murderous in that you're trying to attack them with accusation of sin, while rendering yourself innocent. You're trying to get rid of them. Even if its slight, even if it doesn't seem "that important". It is still murderous.

"You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury."

To not be murderous, you have to be more loving and kind. To be more loving and kind you have to be willing to be loving and kind toward yourself, so that you can extend this to others. And for that you need forgiveness. To be willing to be loving and kind to others you have to be unwilling to find them guilty or wrong or be annoyed with them or have anything less than total love for them. That's a big thing to ask, but it's what's required to get out of the ego thought system. When the golden rule is fully honored, you love your neighbor as yourself.

"It is impossible to overestimate your brother's worth."

"18. A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service that one soul can render another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. The doer recognizes his own and his neighbor's inestimable value simultaneously."

Something I'm finding quite clarifying, is recognizing that there are 3 levels in the course, not 2.

The first level "level 1" is the Kingdom, ultimate reality, God.

The second level is the separated state of MIND, not a physical state, a level of ego insanity within the tiny mad idea, a thought system of separation, but largely composed of beliefs and thoughts. This is where the ego lives, the egoic fragmented mind.

The third level is the physical world, spacetime, planet Earth, human bodies etc. This was projected out FROM the 2nd level by the ego. We did not want the fearful content of the separated mind so we denied it and projected it. This produces a SYMBOLIC world which symbolises the egoic thought system level 2 in every way. Level 3 became a way to "house" and "defend" the egoic content of level 2 and HIDE it.

When you then read the course and it talks about things to do with symbols and the body being a symbol of fear and a symbol of the ego and so on, it becomes easier to follow when you assign the mental egoic content to level 2, and the physical aspect to level 3. The fear, the guilt, the insanity, that's all on level 2.

Then it also becomes easier to say that, our attitude about level 3 physicality is largely driven by the level 2 ego mindset, but its on that level 2 that we can make corrections and healing, and this results in a higher perception of level 3 physicality.

The important thing I think is to decouple or separate out the physical from the ego. The physical is its own level of symbolism and separation. It symbolises the insanity of the ego mind. But we have to be careful not to BIND it to the ego in level 2 otherwise we start thinking that the physical is inherently sinful or death is bad or having other negative attitudes about physical things beyond their own nature, which is unforgiving.

But we then want to be able to see that same physical symbol through a higher quality of mind. If we detach all of the ego, sin, guilt, fear, etc from the physical level, it becomes easier to see the physical as more neutral and to then consider seeing it FROM a different level 2 mindset.

I think this also helps because we need to be realising that we need to dis-identify from everything on level 3. ie we've tried to take the mind from level 2 and merge it with level 3. We can step back fro level 3 physicality and not confuse the two levels of mind and body. Level 2 can become the 'right mind' rather than 'wrong minded', and then perception will shift from false to true.

To switch out the content of level 2 for the Holy Spirit's thought system, or to line it up with that at least, to symbolise heaven, we enter the state of forgiveness and then can perceive the physical level 3 as the forgiven world.

"The circle of fear lies just below the level the body sees (level 2, below level 3), and SEEMS to be the whole foundation on which the world is based (level 3 based on/symbolizing level 2). Here are all the illusions, all the twisted thoughts, all the insane attacks, the fury, vengeance, and betrayal that were made to keep the guilt in place (in level 2), so that the world (physical level 3) could RISE from it, and keep IT hidden (level 3 hides level 2 ego). Its SHADOW (from level 2) rises to the surface (level 3), enough to hold its most external manifestations (level 3) in darkness (level 2 projected onto level 3), and to bring despair and loneliness (level 2 ego content) to it (level 3 physical), and keep it joyless. But its INTENSITY is veiled by its heavy coverings (level 3 matter), and kept APART (separate levels) from what was made to keep it hidden (level 3 hides level 2)." UrT18J6

"The body (level 3 physical) cannot see this, for the body (level 3) AROSE from this (level 2) for its protection (to hide level 2), which must ALWAYS depend on keeping it NOT seen. The body's eyes (physical level 3) will NEVER look on it (level 2). Yet they will SEE what it (level 2 projecting onto level 3) dictates. The body (level 3) will remain guilt's (level 2's) messenger, and will act as it directs, as long as YOU believe that guilt is real. For the REALITY of guilt is the illusion (level 2 content) which seems to make it (level 3 matter) heavy and opaque (solid-seeming physical matter on level 3), impenetrable, and a REAL foundation for the ego's thought system (symbolic of level 2). Its (level 3's) thinness and transparency are not apparent, until you see the light BEHIND it (level 2 purified of ego). And then you see it as a fragile veil (level 3 is the veil), before the light."

In the course there is a lesson about how God is in everything I see, and later ... because God is in my mind etc. And it talks about seeing God "in" things, like in a waste paper basket. This is often misunderstood to mean that God IS the waste paper basket, when in fact it means you project God's meaning onto it because He is in your mind, not because He is outside your mind. Essentially, if you were to see God, you would not see the basket at all.

"You cannot behold the world and know God."

So there I was, sitting on the toilet. Pondering life's mysteries, like you do. And next to me was sat a wicker basket which we use for the laundry. And so I looked at the basket and wondered in my mind, "is God really in this basket?". Jesus then took the opportunity to immediately show me the truth about this.

I noticed that I could not seem to feel my hands, as if they were barely there. I seemed to be "out" of them as if out of my body or something. This was slightly disorienting, but they felt like they barely existed and weighed nothing. At the same time, I felt what seemed to be "my spirit hand", passing through the basket, and waving around.

As it did this I was aware that the basket was nothing but air, or like a puff of smoke, which was being wafted and displaced by the movement of my spirit-hand. It was very interesting, because it was like the basket didn't even exist. It had no barrier, it was not solid, it put up no resistance, and there was no physical collision with it. Instead it seemed like the lightest, faintest, slightest hint of a whisp of air, dispelled and moved simply by waving. As if just a cloud of particles that could effortlessly be blown away on a breeze.

This ended after a few seconds. But it was enough to reveal to me the quite surprising and "real" truth about the basket. As my physical eyes feasted once again on its solid form, its structure, its shapes and colors, its firmness to the touch, I couldn't help but remark that all of this must be an illusion. In comparison to there being literally NO BASKET, all these seemingly real properties must be some kind of fakery. Without that sense of a boundary, that sense of colliding with it physically, and not being able to pass through it, the basket is nothing but a whisp of smoke. A thin veil.

And so beyond the basket, if God were to be seen, it is recognized that there is no basket at all. It is easily and effortlessly dispelled. Dismissed with the simple waving of a hand, as if it were made of the lightest air, and really nothing at all. Only the spiritual sight could really see this. And clearly spirit is capable of anything, instantly, with no effort at all. Because Jesus showed this to me as if it were the easiest thing in the world. My physical eyes could not see this at all, and my body still reported the solidity of the basket. I wondered then what it would take to recognize this about all the world.

"Nothing so blinding as perception of form."

"There is no world."

"The world stands like a block before Christ's face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. "

"Raise it together, for it is but a veil that stands between you. Either alone will see it as a solid block, nor realize how thin the drapery that separates you now."

"The body cannot see this, for the body AROSE from this for its protection, which must ALWAYS depend on keeping it NOT seen. The body's eyes will NEVER look on it. Yet they will SEE what it dictates. The body will remain guilt's messenger, and will act as it directs, as long as YOU believe that guilt is real. For the REALITY of guilt is the illusion which seems to make it heavy and opaque, impenetrable, and a REAL foundation for the ego's thought system. Its thinness and transparency are not apparent, until you see the light BEHIND it. And then you see it as a fragile veil, before the light."

If you are open and whole and unified as a single awareness, that is who you are. That is your identity.

If you close down and put yourself into a box, associating yourself with some 'part' of the environment that is different or separate from other parts, your awareness becomes blocked. You are no longer aware of what is outside the box, so you think that your awareness is limited TO the box, and therefore this is the extent of who you are. Now you equate yourself with the box and think you are it.

So you come into this body and you think that you are this body, only this body, and nothing else. And that's fairly natural given you have fallen for the ILLUSION that you are only this self and not any other selves. The body seems to suggest that you are separate from your brother, and that who you are is NOT them in any way.

When you then look out at the world you see a world of separate individuals, where you do not see yourself in them. You see the form of their body and you think that is what defines their identity, because you're focussing on what is different and unique about them.

But these differences and uniquenesses are actually what keep people separate, and what reinforces the ILLUSION that they, and you, are not whole, and not one.

This isn't your true identity, or theirs.

When you take the lid off the box and stop believing the illusions that suggest you are not other people, that there is no oneness anywhere, which is what this entire physical world was set up to try to achieve, you would become aware of a greater sense of self. This sense of self would accompany the amount of AWARENESS that you have that there is ONE IDENTITY spanning multiple individuals.

Whatever size box you are inside of, and are aware of, that dictates the limits and confines of your identity. So if you think you are your body, you are very limited indeed. You will simply not have the awareness that you are everyone else. Or that you are part of God. And since that oneness is outside your awareness, you will not experience it as your SELF, and will not believe it is real.

Therefore, there is a very intimate relationship, a literal connection, between what you are are AWARE of, and what your IDENTITY is.

If your awareness is small a limited by differences, appearances and forms, blinded by form, so too will your sense of identity shrink down to fit inside that definition. Those blocks to awareness, those obstacles to peace, will shut out awareness of any kind of 'larger sphere' or greater scope of awareness that you might experience, or any sense of being joined to or sharing SELF with others.

But your sense of self really is derived from how INCLUSIVE your awareness is. When it is very exclusive and separation-oriented, you will experience 'your self' as small and fragile and afraid. But when your awareness becomes more inclusive, you will experience yourself as larger, expansive, joined, open and united with others.

The ultimate sense of self then will be when you come to no longer be deceived by appearances of form, no longer deceived by illusions of separation, and access a shared unified consciousness that spans everyone and is the same in everyone. The ONE SON OF GOD. The Christ consciousness. This IDENTITY as Christ is experienced as a result of the AWARENESS that there IS christ, that awareness includes everyone and that everyone is a part of and SHARES this awareness.

So then you, as the awareness of Christ, an awareness of oneness, of being the one Son of God, the single unified creation, will be inclusive of all seemingly separated 'sons' in the brotherhood. This will literally mean, that everyone else IS YOU. Is part of this shared wholeness. That we are literally all one self.

This 'identity' that we call self is therefore completely dependent upon WHAT it is that we are aware of. The whole, or the part. Being aware only of the part is what we call an ego identity because it is limited and blocked and includes unconsciousness - a lack of awareness. Ignorance. But you will still think of this - whatever the extent of your awareness is - as your 'self'. Yet as your awareness expands so too is your 'self' expanding, letting go of the isolated separated ego self and opening up to a bigger, shared self that is the same for all of us, in which we are all one family. Not just a family of equal or separately at-peace beings, but in fact FAR more unified than this - a true family where we literally ARE each other.

Eventually the brotherhood will unite in this oneness and we will all unify in the ONE SELF. One with God. Inclusive of all.

"You will be made whole as you MAKE whole, for to perceive in sickness the appeal for health, is to recognize in hatred the call for love. And to give a brother what he REALLY wants, is to offer it unto yourself. For your Father wills you to know your brother AS yourself. Answer HIS call for love, and YOURS is answered. Healing is the love of Christ for His Father, and for HIMSELF."

If someone appears to do something wrong, perhaps they're angry and they're attacking, you focusing on this "surface appearance" is what it means to "make sin real." You judge based on the appearance of form and the form of what they do dictates what it seems to mean. You hold their physical behaviors etc against them and accuse them of what they are doing, as if to say that what you see in this judgement is all that there is to see. In this state there is no compassion or deeper insight into why they're behaving this way or any sense of a call for love. Or better yet, a call for help.

When someone is hurting and afraid and so on they tend to lash out and project and blame and attack. But in order to be forgiving, the surface appearance of what they're doing has to be looked past. Essentially this means you have to realize that their outward appearance is an EFFECT, not a cause. And therefore there is a deeper cause behind it. When you focus solely on the appearance of what they're doing, you are believing that the appearance is a CAUSE, and in particular that YOU are at the effect of it.

This means that cause and effect have kind of "shifted". The cause is in them, and their behavior is an effect of it. But now you're believing that their effects are the cause, and the effect has shifted out of them completely and into you. This is a belief that physical form is the only reality, that what the body is seeing is the truth. When the body's senses are trusted, and given the body can only see form and surfaces, this produces a suggestion that the world is primary reality. That it is the starting point of everything, and therefore causal and not an effect. It is necessary to displace the effect onto yourself or others then because this "causal form" cannot be both cause and effect.

This is the unforgiving attitude. That the dream world is real and is the cause of suffering. That surface appearances are true. That sin is real. That death is real. That sickness and suffering are happening and making more things happen in turn. In order to forgive, causation has to be pushed back into the mind or source within the person. Their behavior has to be seen as a facade and as only an effect, something to be pushed past and seen beyond. There has to be something going on with them that's deeper than just the outward expression of their pain.

When you are unforgiving you will accuse them of sin and put up a wall and use the surface appearance as a barricade to separate you off from them. The body will be emphasized and its activities will become the proof of sin. The person will be relegated to being a body only and only what you can see and sense will be given reality. This shuts you off from the person and treats them like an object. It's is a cold-hearted and vicious state of perception.

As you peer beyond this surface veil, beyond what they appear to be doing, and look deeper into the person, you're opening your heart. This is because you necessarily are opening up to a deeper truth, a higher truth. The higher truth is that beyond the layers of suffering, the obstacles to peace, the protest against reality, and their seeming attacks, there is a seemingly wounded frightened person inside longing for help. To see that they are only acting this way "because of" something else is a step in the right direction.

There is always something deeper behind the surface, just as there is another world beyond the surface of this one. To see that someone is in need of help is to shift your vantage point. You begin to see from their perspective, what they are going through and where they are coming from. You see behind the wall of sin, which also means seeing beyond the body, and acknowledge that they need help. This is a much more loving point of view. It's a compassionate point of view. It causes you to side with the person, which is part of becoming one with them. The part of you that is in them, or is them, now is included in who and what you are, and your love for them is now a shared love for yourself.

Not taking anything personally, not using what people appear to do against them, not holding events and happenings against the world, and seeing behind it to the deeper causes, is what forgiveness entails. And beyond all the deeper causes is the light of Christ which is the true nature of each person. No-one is evil and no one in their right mind would ever do anything unloving. People are just confused and mistaken. This is the movement away from making sin real, towards the forgiveness that confirms that people are simply mistaken and lost and in need of help.

Someone isn't sinful for attacking. People attack when they're hurt. Someone isn't evil just because they're being vicious and cruel. They obviously have experienced some major hurt or rejection or abuse or something that has led to this expression. We need to recognize that whenever we think the world, or bodies, or people, or events, are what they are based on the surface appearance, we're forgetting that the world is an effect and not a cause. By making it into a cause you shield the cause and hide it, and now the effect becomes the cause, with a seeming power to put the effects into you.

All of these violent expressions, all attacks and murders, all conflict and arguments, all destruction and viciousness, it all has to be seen as symptoms or side effects of something beyond it. Something in people that is in need of help. A call for love. A state of being lost and alone and frightened and guilty, that needs healing. People act out only as projections of what they have inside of them. What they are lacking is love and what they need is love and compassion. To see this need you must find a way to look deeper than the surface and see where the person is coming from, what's behind this expression, where it started, and get to the root of it. Because at the root of it is the reality of their real worth and innocence.

"That is the ultimate value TO YOU in learning to perceive attack as a call for love."

"For fear IS a call for love, in unconscious recognition of what has been denied."

"Perceive in sickness but another call for love, and offer your brother what he believes he cannot offer HIMSELF."

"The only judgment involved at all is in the Holy Spirit's one division into two categories; one of love, and the other, the call for love."

"What calls for punishment, must call for NOTHING. Yet every mistake MUST be a call for love. What, then, is sin? What COULD it be but a mistake you would keep hidden; a call for help that you would keep UNHEARD, and thus UNANSWERED?"