So long as you remain in a position of causation, you are all-powerful. And that means the truth comes out of you, it is given and shared, and reinforces itself. You see it in everything you project it onto, and in your harmlessness you are safe.
Being all-powerful, you are invulnerable. Nothing can happen to you against your will because you are the one doing the happening. Being purely causal and creative, you have tremendous strength and ability. There is nothing your holiness cannot do.
Centered in your power, which you share with God, you know that you are safe and protected. So long as you do not hurt yourself, you cannot be hurt. So long as you do not cause something to happen to you, nothing can happen to you. Your will is as powerful as God's will, and nothing can prevail against it or intrude upon it.
""My Self is ruler of the universe."
It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."
(Urtext W253L to W253L1)
"There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are. "
(Urtext W190L5)
It is only when you deny that you are all powerful that you enter into what we call fear. Fear is a seeming absence of love, so if you've denied yourself you've denied love. Seeming to lack power, to be weakened, to see yourself as not the cause, you now see cause and power and strength as separate from you - because you believe you are separate from them.
Cause and will and power and mind are now projected outward and are seen as outside of you, beyond your will, outside the limits of your mind and of your control. They seem therefore to be able to act without your consent, to will on their own. ACIM calls this an "alien will".
Once you see cause or power as outside of you, separate from you, you HAVE to also believe that you are no longer powerful or causal. And this begins the slippery slope toward seeing yourself as being able to be affected. If you are not all powerful, something else has more power. If you are not causal, something else could cause you.
As soon as your mind believes that power and causation are external or separate or disowned, it also sees itself as an EFFECT of that causation. It believes it can BE affected, because it is no longer strong, or safe, or protected by the love of God. Being in uncertainty about its own causation, the mind goes into doubt and fear.
If there is an alien will out there, and if it is separate from your own, then it must be against you without your permission. This is the root of all fear. The belief and perception that the word is transpiring against you, choosing without consulting you, determining your future, deciding whether you will live or die, and generally "happening to you" beyond your ability to stop it.
You can't seem to stop the world attacking, threatening, troubling, upsetting you etc, once you're on this slippery slope into hell. And the only response to that is fear. If you do indeed see power and causation as outside your scope of control, beyond your reach to manage, then stuff can happen to you at any time, without your seeming to choose it. And who wouldn't be afraid of that? It is disturbing to think something can happen that you cannot prevent.
You're afraid because you see yourself as a victim. A victim is a role where somehow, in some way, you seem not to be the one causing or choosing, and you seem to lack the power to stop it, simply because you believe something has power over you. A power that is not yours, a power you do not share in, a power that you cannot wield, and a power that you have lost.
Ultimately then it is in fact YOUR OWN POWER that you have dissociated from and projected. It is YOUR OWN CAUSATION that you have put outside of you, pretending it does not belong to you. It is YOUR OWN MIND that is giving this power away and is trying to associate it with things that do NOT have it. And it is YOUR OWN MIND that positions itself as being "at the effect of" that very same power.
This means of course that you are doing it to yourself. All fear is you attacking yourself from the outside in. All fear is you believing that you are at the effect of a cause that's separate from you. Yet ideas do not leave their source. Your mind houses the idea that cause is separate from you. Your mind houses the causation that it visualizes as outside of it. And your mind houses the effects that it puts into itself to demonstrate what the cause is doing to you.
Really this means that all fear is self-threat, you can only be afraid if you threaten yourself, it is only YOUR OWN POWER that you are afraid of, fear is an attempt to hide from your own power, and being a victim is an attempt to pretend that you are powerless. All sense of fear then comes from the belief that you have no power over "that power" which seems not to be yours, and is an attempt to PRETEND to be powerless. Yet you USE your power to do this.
If in any way you believe that anything in the world has the power to do anything to you at all, you have for a start associated YOUR power with external things. You've GIVEN your power away to things that don't own it. You WANT those things to have your power. Now you see and perceive external things as being powerful over you, causing you, sinning against you, justifying your anger, and making you afraid and upset.
But notice that YOUR MIND also manufacturers all of the sense of "I am at the effect", it visualizes an appropriate "reaction" to the threat, it PUTS THE EFFECTS IN YOU, and literally materializes all the symptoms and consequences that it imagines must come from such a cause. If it for example believes that some other person has power over it, it will not only give that power TO the person, it will also visualize itself as affected BY the person, AND put symptoms into itself to correspond to the "amount of threat" that it has invented.
This is where the hierarchy of illusions comes in, along with orders of difficulty. You may have noticed that when you believe something external is big and serious, important and powerful, authoritative and trusted, or has some sense of capability or truth, you have MORE reaction than when it's something mild, weak, insignificant, unimportant, or that you don't believe in.
If some educated doctor suddenly tells you you have a terminal illness, you will very likely go into into much bigger fear than if someone tells you their opinion about the weather. If there seems to be an external threat to your "life", ie the body seems to be being caused against your will, and you think it is your self, then you will have a huge amount of terror.
But in every case, in every scenario, no matter how it looks, or who seems to have the power over you, or who is doing what to you, or what role they play, it is ALWAYS YOU, always your own mind which is DECIDING to believe in a) the disowning of your own power, b) the projecting of it onto another, c) associating it with another, d) seeing yourself as caused BY that power, and e) therefore changed against your will by that power. And your mind itself will invent AND PUT IN PLACE, all of your symptoms, effects, altered feelings, consequences and results of what you believe that power can do to you.
This is also precisely how the symptoms of sickness come about. And it is also what happens when you project your sin onto others, through the body, which uses the body to accuse another of sin. Your mind sees itself as under attack by an external power - its own power that it has disowned - and to try to prove it, it manifests changes in the body to symbolize the various ways that you are under attack. The body is then held up as a picture of crucifixion to show to another that THEY caused this effect in your body, even though YOU put the effect there.
It's all part of your attempt to FORCE them to have power over you. It's your wish that you would even crucify yourself and make yourself seem to die, to attack the body with terrible afflictions, IF only it can mean that, at the same time, your brother is assigned all your causing, thus all your "doing", is framed for your murder, and can be accused of causing YOU to change.
"Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
This all simply happens through false perception which is the reversal of cause and effect. Whenever you see cause in the world in any way, you are projecting YOUR power to cause. And you must see yourself as a victim or effect of that. Perception is now backwards because you perceive the world is happening to you instead of you dreaming the world. To see the world causing you is false perception. To see YOU causing the world, is true perception.
"Thus is the body healed by miracles BECAUSE they show the mind MADE sickness, and employed the body to be victim, or EFFECT, of what it made. "
(urtext T28C11)
What this all means is really the secret of salvation, that "you are doing this to yourself". No matter how it looks or who plays the role of victim or victimizer, still this is the truth. Your mind disowns its own power, your mind frames others and the world for having this power, your mind decides to position itself as affectable, your mind puts the effects in place, and your mind uses the effects to accuse others and the world of what YOU did, so that you can keep disowning your power.
Effectively, using the body as a scapegoating mechanism to get rid of your sin. Because sin is very closely aligned with causation. You think that you used your power to cause the death of God, to attack reality, and to change the truth. And now you try to keep projecting your power in order to avoid admitting to this, even though it's not true. If you maintain yourself as powerless, you can claim that you have no power, and therefore cannot have been the one who caused God to change.
But wielding your own power also means therefore that you cannot be hurt, or attacked, or had power over, or caused, or affected, or made vulnerable, or weakened, or made sick, OR CAUSED TO DIE, without your consent, and without YOU making it happen TO yourself. If you so choose to stop attacking yourself WITH YOUR OWN POWER, nothing in the world can have any power over you. If you choose to stop hurting yourself, you cannot be hurt. If you choose to stop making yourself sick, you cannot be sick. And if you choose to stop dying, you cannot die.
You cannot be afraid of anything but your own self-attack. Nothing in the world causes you. Nothing in the world has power over you. No-one has the power to make you anything. You are not affected by anything but your own mind.
"I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."
(urtext W281L)
"My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability."
(urtext W26L)
"It can be but myself I crucify."
(urtext W196L)
"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details"
(urtext W152L1)
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are. As you perceive the harmlessness in them, they will accept your holy will as theirs. And what was seen as fearful now becomes a source of innocence and holiness."
(urtext W190L5)
To summarize simply, only you can make yourself afraid, you can only be afraid of your own power, only you give yourself the symptoms and effects which you think that power would produce, and only you can stop doing that to yourself. Only you threaten yourself, only you choose to be in fear, only you make yourself a victim, and you have the power to NEVER be victimized ever again.
You have the power to live forever, and that makes you utterly invulernerable and incapable of being sick or dying. You have this power because God has shared his with you. And if it be your will, no-one and nothing has any power over you to frighten you. You cannot be afraid unless you choose to do so, any more than you can have any effects of any kind without electing to choose that they be there. You are the one who is scaring yourself, and you can stop.
"I am not weak, but strong."
"I am not helpless, but all powerful."
(urtext W91L8)
In your attempt to move away from God, you are basically trying to disown yourself.
You do this by denying who you are, covering up awareness of who you are, and displacing your sense of self onto anything that you perceive as "not me".
What you do is you take part of your mind and retain it as conscious awareness (your persona), and then shield it from the rest of your mind which becomes unconscious (your shadow).
The unconscious part of the mind is disassociated from, denied and rejected. You hide it from yourself so that you can pretend to be only a limited identity.
What is then part of your own unconscious mind then seems to "project" outward, creating hallucinations of an external world. Since you've placed a barrier between your conscious awareness and "the rest of yourself", you do not experience what's out there as yourself.
So now it seems like there is an entire world that is not you, filled with identities and people who are not you.
At the same time, in order to disown yourself, you have to give ownership of yourself away. That means your sense of identity has to become the possession of some other self, namely the ego.
It is not that the ego has any power of its own to take possession of you. Your attempt to disown your own self produces the ego. You make it everything it is on purpose. And yet at the same time as disowning yourself, you appear to grant it permission to possess you.
It seems then that the ego is a separate entity, largely in your unconscious, filled with all the unwanted parts of yourself which you judge as unacceptable, wrong, bad, guilty etc. Yet at the same time, the ego is also in the conscious persona which is at war with the unconscious. It is the separation between them that is the ego.
This unconscious repository of darkness is your "pain body". At times your pain body, the emotional body of the ego, will take possession of your conscious mind/persona, becoming extremely anti-persona and believing the exact opposite of what the persona-self believes.
When this happens it quite literally is like being possessed by some kind of dark twisted being who is very strongly in denial, very deeply opposed to any kind of truth, and it can flood the mind with negative fearful thoughts.
It in a way feeds off of you, in that by throwing your own repressed stuff into your awareness (ultimately as an act of attempted healing), your mind becomes overwhelmed with fearful reactions and this generates a negative energy which it appears to feed off.
Depending on how much separation you have experienced in your existence, will somewhat determine the 'body' of pain i.e. everything you judged or rejected, which has become stored any our unconscious and which needs to be purified and released.
Going through this process is often something that is randomly triggered and seemingly unwanted and horrifying, because it is as though a person can become literally possessed by some dark being, losing significant awareness, going into an unconscious state of paranoia and fear and guilt and dwelling upon the past.
For some people the pain body is so strong that it can produce violence and suffering, while for others it may come and go more quickly. It returns to being somewhat dormant if the person is able to maintain a non-reactionary consciousness, i.e. awareness. But if it is allowed to take over awareness it can turn a person into seemingly someone possessed, who you may barely recognize, and who may suddenly become what many people would consider either depressed or mentally ill.
These periods of "release" of unconscious dark baggage are punctuated after a usually short period of time with a period of relief in which a lightness and happiness takes over. This is similar to what happens when you have a cathartic cry, which initially is painful and dark and upsetting to go through, but at the end once the energy is cleared out you may find yourself laughing.
Ultimately this is a process of healing and release and a way for a person to let go of a large body of unconscious pain which needs to be permitted, allowed, accepted and observed, without becoming too lost in the clouds along the way. Since we repress a great amount of negativity into the unconscious, or otherwise known as the "shadow", there can be a lot of self abuse to be cleansed.
Ultimately the ego itself is not an entity and nor can it truly possess you against your will, but since it is something that you yourself set in motion and gave power to, you have to go through a process of allowing the shadow and persona to cancel each other out. The conscious mind is overcome by what appears to be mind-altering and even behavior-altering unconsciousness, but it is only happening because the person has become ready to work through their baggage and release it.
If this is happening to you or to people you know, you might think they are crazy or that something terrible has happened medically. No many people understand this. But at some point sooner or later you as you progress on your steps towards returning to your true self, reclaiming your identity, waking up to reality and accepting God's truth, it's going to mean you need to purify and flush out all of the ways in which you have created separation in yourself, and so it's as though the lid is lifted off your denial, producing a profound release. And so this really is a part of the awakening process.
This may be the way that you proceed in your path, to varying degrees, or it may not be. It can be very difficult and extremely confusing to go through. But we are all heading home to God one way or another and for some people it takes a direct expression of unconscious fear, guilt and rage, in order to cleanse the mind of the darkness which has been stored there. We all have our skeletons and we all could use a closet spring-clean.
None of use are stuck in the ego. Nobody is a victim of evil. Nothing is happening in our mind that we haven't put in place. And our own ego, our alternate identity, is just a part of our own self that we've pretended to split off. It is no more a separate entity than that it is our own self pretending to not be our own self. And so it's an interesting paradox that as we attempt to disown ourselves, we become owned by ourselves, albeit around a wall of unawareness. Moral of the story being, you cannot stop being what God created.
We're all loved by God and there is no real way to be separate from Him.
When I read in the course that anger is an attempt to make someone guilty, I didn't at first relate to it. I had to stop and look at what happens, what I'm doing, when I get angry toward someone.
And that didn't typically happen all that often, but when it did I noticed it was true, what I was basically doing was trying to reinforce "how guilty" someone was. I was trying to MAKE them be guilty.
In anger there's this attempt to amplify the "guiltiness" of someone. And it's not even really tied to what they appeared to do or the severity of it. We could just be going to town raging at them way beyond what anything calls for. Probably convinced that whatever "sin" they committed is the REASON WHY the anger is justified.
But then the second insight is that in order to make someone BECOME guilty, we actually have to put guilt ONTO them. A guilt that they do not have initially. Where does that guilt come from? We actually provide it ourselves, and hurl it towards them through projection.
So then we see that anger is really "what it feels like" when you are hurling guilt. The whole intensity of it, the enforcement of it, the sense of righteousness, the pushing and forcing, it's all designed to "hurl" and "transmit" guilt onto the person.
But then this also gives rise to a third insight, that if we are hurling guilt at people, and it's not their guilt, then we must be reaching inside of ourselves and finding some guilt there, in order to have something to hurl. So that means... drumroll... we're really the ones that we think are guilty.
In addition this means that the "reasons why" we claim we're being justified in anger are false - it's not because of what someone else did, we're angry because of what we believe WE did. We are accusing them of our own sin and guilt, so that we can try to make ourselves feel better and deflect attention away from the darkness within. This is why anger is never justified and you are never upset for the reason you think.
So if we're the guilty ones, it basically means we're angry at ourselves and have attacked ourselves first. And if we hadn't done this, if we hadn't manufactured a whole stockpile of guilt, we'd have nothing to hurl at other people. We wouldn't be able to FIND other people to be guilty of anything.
This then leads to the fourth insight, that if we were to undo all of our guilt within ourselves, we would never have to even lift a finger to try to find others innocent. We'd automatically be innocent within, and would look out from this innocence upon others and find them innocent also. We'd never be angry, never project blame, and would just be happy all the time.
"I am never upset for the reason I think." UrW5
"ALL anger is nothing more than an attempt to MAKE SOMEONE FEEL GUILTY, and this attempt is the ONLY basis which the ego accepts for special relationships. Guilt is the only need the ego has, and, as long as you identify WITH it, guilt will remain ATTRACTIVE to you." UrT15H10
"Anger is NEVER justified. Attack has NO foundation. It is here escape from fear begins, and will be made complete. Here is the real world given in exchange for dreams of terror. For it is on this forgiveness rests, AND IS BUT NATURAL." URT10G1
If you are fully and completely responsible for yourself, for everything you feel, everything you experience, and every causality, then
1) You will not have any reactions because reactions require you to see yourself as a victim
2) You will not see yourself as victimized or caused by anyone or anything else
3) You will be free and invulnerable and immortal
You will know that you and what you experience are kind of .... enclosed... insulated.... invulnerable to.... detached from... shielded from.... protected from.... everything that is 'out there'. It will be like you're walking around completely invulnerable to everything, unaffected by anyone.
"Be passerby"
So if you see that this is kind of the 'goal' of total responsibility and acceptance of yourself and unconditionally being the love you are, then you can see what happens when you DON'T do this.
Without this responsibility you disown, you victimize, you see yourself threatened and vulnerable, you become imprisoned, you develop reactions, you go unconscious, you disown your feelings, you accuse everyone else of being the "reason why" your life now sucks, and you disassociate from your Self, trying to get others to live your life for you. And then instead of being yourself, you will try to be THEM, because now you are reflecting outward what is within - if you are not yourself, and you're expecting others to be you for you, you will start to become other people and lose yourself.
So no matter the situation, no matter what's happening, no matter who is doing what to whom, we need to get to this place of true responsibility where nothing outside of us is seen as the cause of anything we experience, other than God. We need to disengage. Detach from the drama that involves others.
All of the 'involvement' with others in an ego way creases an ego dependency relationship where it feels like you are joined to the other person and are exposed to them and that they can do stuff to you directly. That's the opposite of invulnerability. And that's doing stuff to yourself through them.
At each stage from separation through sin, guilt, fear, punishment and death, there is always some amount of projection of the cause of the problem.
When we believe in separation, i.e. sin, sin actually makes the separation unconscious, and then we are unaware of what caused sin. That which has no cause is considered to be a cause in its own right and not an effect. We will then go searching for the cause somewhere external, other than accepting that we caused it.
So we'll claim, I am sinful because God says I'm sinful, instead of that its because we chose to believe in separation.
Then at the next stage, feeling guilty, we won't just say I'm guilty because I sinned, we'll project the cause of the guilt outward and find an external cause for it. I'm guilty because someone else says so, or because society finds me guilty. Always someone else deciding that the guilt is true. And once again the guilt renders awareness of sin unconscious, so you go looking for reasons that caused the guilt.
This carries on down to fear, whereby even though guilt causes fear, fear makes guilt unconscious, and then you go looking for a projected cause for the fear. You start to claim that you are afraid "because of" all the external things or future things which are making you afraid. But none of these things are the cause of fear, your guilt is.
Then when punishment is happening, instead of admitting that you are punishing yourself, you'll be claiming that you are punished because someone or something else is punishing you. You'll look to all these reasons and causes why you are punished, other than that fear causes punishment.
And on it goes to death. Death is someone else's fault, happens by someone else's hand, is entirely out of your control, is not chosen by you at all etc. Punishment causes death but here you're claiming that death is caused by everything other than yourself.
Projection happens at all levels, because every level is an attempt to disown the level before it, and thus disown responsibility for choosing it. As soon as there is separation there is a cascade of irresponsibility and projection. It doesn't just happen once you get to guilt. It happens at every stage of separation all the way through to death.
These projections, these stories about who or what caused or justified the guilt or sin or fear etc, are defenses protecting the defenses. Guilt defends against sin, and the story that someone else found you guilty or you're guilty because of what you did to someone, is a defense that protects guilt from being undone. These fictions and stories have to be dismantled in order to look squarely at the problem, and then you can dismantle the problem itself.
The story about what caused the fear or the guilt or the sin is a cover-up story. Underneath it is your own belief that you are sinful guilty and afraid. Then these believes also are a cover-up story. Fear defends guilt, guilt defends sin, sin defends separation. Collapse these one at a time and you'll end up at the Atonement.
Something simple that I was inspired by yesterday is simply this idea that we are trying to get rid of ourselves. We've filled ourselves with all this guilt which we believe is the truth of us, and then we're trying to get rid of 'that self'. But basically in the bigger picture we're trying to destroy the Son of God - who we are.
So as we take stuff from inside us, that we think we are, and we push it outside of us, this is us trying to get rid of ourselves. You're trying to get rid of what you are and to deny that you are it. And because you don't like the idea that you are guilty, which you believe is true, you will try to get rid of that guilt, which makes you get rid of yourself.
So you see, your identity goes along for the ride - shoveling out all the guilt shit from your mind and projecting it outward to disown it, makes you disown your self as well, because you've identified with it. So it's your identity you're trying to get rid of.
When you keep trying to get rid of 'that guilty self' by getting rid of the guilt (and you along with it because you're attached to it), you basically send yourself to hell and death. Projecting it keeps the guilt intact and you just end up getting rid of all of yourself. It's because you've identified AS the 'guilty self' that this happens.
You need a way to be free of the guilt without it being YOU that you are free of. You need to be freed from the 'guilty self' without it being your real self that is removed.
To do that of course we need two parts.
1) Correcting the belief that the guilt is true
2) Detaching from the guilty self and recognizing/re-attaching to your true self.
You can't detach from the guilty self while you believe that the guilt is the truth. You have to REINTERPRET THE MEANING that you've given to yourself. Guilt reinterpreted the meaning of WHAT YOU ARE to begin with, and now you need to RE-interpret the meaning of what you are to restore it back to its TRUE MEANING as given by God.
Once you can look at the guilt and recognize it is not the truth (in the light of truth/God/Holy Spirit), THEN you can detach what YOU are from IT and be willing and ready to genuinely let it go/detach from it.
This of course involves surrender of the belief in the guilty self and an opening up to your true/higher self/Holy Spirit's view of you.
Fear is a psychological tool which you use to put yourself into the role of victim, where you then see yourself as being affected by something separate from you.
You are powerful, strong, confident, certain, loving, aware, filled with truth.
However, when you disown these properties, you do so by creating a split in your mind. You use separation to try to separate yourself from these properties, to disown and push them away, and you literally give them TO something separate from you.
So you take all your power, all your certainty, all your inherent love, and you separate it from yourself and push it outwards onto someone else.
This now means that in your perception, you see yourself as lacking confidence, lacking power, lacking certainty, and that will be experienced as "being afraid". It is a state of powerlessness and weakness and a vulnerability to be affected by a power greater than what you seem to possess.
You seem to them possess less power than what is outside of yourself, because you have displaced your own power out there and see yourself as having "less". Therefore those outside of you seem to have "more".
It will seem then that you are afraid because those outside of you have more power than yourself, ie have power over you, and are capable of causing you or affected you in some way. They seem to have control over you, able to decide against your will what you will be or experience. And that's frightening. But it's not the cause of the fear. It's just how the fear is experienced once it's put in place.
Fear is always an act of deliberately disowning yourself and giving yourself away, which RESULTS IN you perceiving that what you've given away is now outside of yourself in someone else's hands. It then seems frightening that they can use this power against you, which creates this whole victimhood story about what they're doing "to you" and why you don't have the power to stop them. But that's a cover-up for the fact that you are using fear IN ORDER TO see them as victimizing you.
That power which you perceive as being in them and not in you, is your own power, which you have disowned. You've tried to set up other people as more powerful than you so that you can appear weak and afraid and in threat of attack. To choose to be afraid is to deliberately position yourself a a victim and to see yourself as in danger of dying. It is a choice to try to bring about your own death. That it seems later as though someone else is going to "cause" this death for you, is a total cover-up lie which you orchestrate in order to make it seem like YOU are not the one choosing it.
Death is an attempt to relinquish the power and ability to choose, to cover up the power of choice, to disown everything about yourself and to allow the external separate imaginary source of power to decide FOR you what is going to happen TO you. But all along this fearful CHOICE is still a choice. It just looks like it's a loss of choice or of having no choice at all.
If you are afraid, you absolutely DO have a choice and you absolutely ARE using your choice, in a mis-creative and self-destructive way. To be afraid does not call for pity. It calls for you to get honest and reclaim responsibility for the power that you keep trying to make out that others are taking from you against your will. It's YOUR power that YOU have GIVEN to them BY your will! You need to take it back.
You only experience fear when you have disowned yourself and are being irresponsible for who and what you are - when you are unwilling to fulfill the FUNCTION that God has given you to represent Him and to extend love and power. When you try to give this function away, other people will seem to wield this function over you against your will. Or in other words, when you attempt to not want to fulfill this function, this function will seem to fulfill itself in opposition to you, because you are in opposition to it.
To escape from fear will NEVER be successful so long as you continue to believe your own lie, that the power you're afraid of belongs to everyone other than YOU. That the power you see in someone else is not your own power. If the power you see projected onto others is not your own, and it has power over you, then you will believe it is inherent to them and that it is real or true that they own it. They have not stolen it, you've given it to them.
Having made this seem real to yourself, which means you trust it (fear is trusting the ego), you will think that the only way to be safe in the face of something scary is to become "just as scary" or intimidating or have some sense of fake power or aggression or anger, in order to go up against this formidable foe to overpower them. It thus becomes a fight against a fictional enemy. The suggestion to stand up for yourself or to assert yourself then becomes a really frightening challenge, because it means being at WAR.
Confrontations with real-seeming enemies are not really solutions to the problem. Sometimes this seems to be the only thing you can do to stop them from attacking you, but this is according to the ego's rules. The only reason a so-called "attacker" is showing up in your life is to show you that you keep giving your power away and that you've put your own power outside of yourself. The challenge is not to make the enemy real and fight with them to "win", but to recognize that the power that you think is in them is YOUR OWN, to own it, take it back, be responsible for it, and thus return to a state of certainty and a stillness of confidence, a clarity about your power which makes you unmoved and unmovable, and a clarity in which you realize it was YOU that you have made into an enemy.
You don't need to fight an opponent to gain equal power. You need to realize it's your own power and reclaim it, to stop perceiving yourself as a victim, to stop using fear to project "cause" (really blame for causing sin) onto others, and to therefore become invulnerable. There is no need for the invulnerable to defend themselves or to fight or be at war. They are immovable, unchangeable, invulnerable, and cannot be attacked. That's what you really need to get to. And that means stopping putting yourself into the psychological perceptive mode of seeing yourself disempowered while others seem to be more powerful.
Ultimately you are doing this to yourself because it is a part of your own mind which you are up against, it's a part of your own power that you're threatened by, and it's a part of your own Self that seems separate from you and having a will of its own. This is all happening inside your own mind and has nothing to do with anyone else out there. There is no-one else out there. This fear is all just your own self-attack. Fear is a defense against the truth. Fear is denial. And no-one who is afraid is "innocent" of causing things to go wrong. It's all chosen on purpose.
"Be not afraid", Jesus would say... not because there is a real reason to be afraid, but because being afraid isn't becoming of you - it's a choice to be weak when you could be powerful, and it's not your best move. It works against yourself and is a way of you hurting yourself. You don't need it.
Some believe that God is the only power and that of yourself you can do nothing. This seems to be a state of humility. But there is an ego trick at work here, suggesting that if God has all the power, you have NONE. This is bullshit.
When alone, isolated, separate, being ego, you are disempowered. You have given away and disowned your power. When you reclaim your power, you become very powerful. But this reclaiming of power also requires you to SHARE this power with God. It belongs to both of you. God GAVE YOU HIS POWER when He created you, in order to establish you as having THE POWER TO CREATE as a co-creator. You are very powerful as well. Christ is not weak or incapable.
"To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power."
"The creative power of both God AND His Creations is limitless"
"It was only my DECISION that gave me all power in Heaven and earth. My only gift to you is to help you make the same decision FOR YOURSELF."
"All power and glory are yours because the Kingdom is His."
"By teaching the power of the Kingdom of God Himself, He teaches you that ALL POWER IS YOURS."
"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given unto you in earth and Heaven. 2 There is nothing that you cannot do."
On your own, you make yourself powerless. When you join with God, recognizing He is the giver of YOUR power, YOU become empowered. You are now CAPABLE of exercising the power of your will, which is as powerful as God's. "There is nothing my holiness cannot do."
It is wonderful to acknowledge that all miracles "come from God". That we have enough humility to acknowledge that we are not "powerful egos". That WITHOUT God, we have NO POWER. To recognize that the SOURCE of OUR power is God.
But it does NOT follow, that you REMAIN powerless as you open up to God's power. In order to open to His power, YOU MUST become powerful also, to align with His power. He SHARES His power with you. You HAVE power too.
You are a very powerful being. God does not create weakness. God created POWERFUL CO-CREATORS. You have power in you. You have ALL power in you. It's just that... you didn't PUT IT THERE.
The light in you, the will in you, the power, the mind, the strength, GOD PUT IT THERE. It is not "of you". There is in fact nothing about you that is "of you". You did not create yourself. You are not OF yourself, having proceeded from yourself. That's what this means. You did not GIVE YOURSELF what you have. BUT this does not in ANY WAY mean that you HAVE NOTHING. You in fact HAVE INHERITED EVERYTHING.
You have the power of God in you. You are UNLIMITED. You are ALL POWERFUL. You can CAUSE. You can CREATE WORLDS. There is NOTHING you cannot do. You are totally powerful without limit. BECAUSE God is in you. Own it.
It's not about "you or God". It's about "YOU AND GOD".
All glory is His AND yours.
Jesus did not disown power. He did not disown capability. He merely recognized that He didn't give HIMSELF His power, he inherited it from His father. And so gave thanks to His father for the power to do what He was able to do, so as to steer clear of "look at me, I'm special, I did this WITHOUT Him." You and God are a TEAM.
"The sole responsibility of God's teacher is to accept the Atonement for himself."
The ego is completely against the idea of being responsible for everything.Since ego believes strongly in sin and guilt and the reality of victimhood, it believes that if you take responsibility, YOU are the one who is sinful and guilty and a victimizer.
It wants to avoid this at all costs. It believes that responsibility is condemnation. It sees responsibility as INDUCING GUILT.
But it is vital that we learn to be responsible WITHOUT the sin and guilt and accusation. We are responsible for BELIEVING IN and USING these things, but we are NOT at the effect of these things.
We need to own up to what we have done to ourselves, which we cannot do if we constantly blaming the cause of them on everything and everyone other than ourselves.
But while we believe in sin and guilt being real, we are going to be RELUCTANT to OWN THIS POWER, the power of decision, because it implies that we are the guilty ones.
We have to go through a phase of trying to take responsibility, while also sorting out the fact that the sin and the guilt are not real. And this usually will entail at first a strong ego REACTION to trying to be responsible. As if it's not possible to be responsible WITHOUT inducing guilt.
And when you tell people about how they are responsible for MAKING THEMSELVES SICK, you will often notice that there is an EGO REACTION along the lines of it being "guilt inducing". But this is because we struggle to distinguish between the power and freedom brought about by responsibility, and the EGO'S USE of responsibility for condemnation.
Ego believes that "if you did it", this is SIN. That it proves you are a sinner. And this is a DEFENSE against salvation. It's a way of AVOIDING ever becoming empowered or free from suffering. It's a way to keep the ego and the belief in sin going. So the ego will steer you AWAY from responsibility at all costs, believing that all it does is make you a criminal - which means imprisonment, not freedom.
While you FEAR RESPONSIBILITY, as an ego reaction to the mixing of responsibility with sin, you will not want to own up to the fact that YOU are being self destructive, ALL your suffering is self inflicted, and YOU have the power to STOP IT.
We have to take brave steps to entertain the possibility that we are responsible for everything we experience, which is really a matter of OWNING UP TO CAUSALITY, which really means OWNING YOURSELF. And so you can see that sin and guilt are attempts to disown yourself and to disown responsibility. In a strange way, the ego disowns responsibility by MAKING YOU RESPONSIBLE for something you DIDN'T do.... such as sin.
You have to sort out what it is you are responsible FOR, recognize you are NOT responsible for "really sinning", and therefore become willing to TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY (thus power and causation) WITHOUT the sin and guilt attached.
You ARE responsible for being innocent. You ARE responsible for accepting this innocence, which is accepting atonement for yourself. And you ARE responsible for BEING TRUE to yourself. Which means you are responsible for CAUSATION, and the freedom of choice, and the power of decision. And none of this has anything to do with inducing guilt.
You are the cause of everything you experience. You cannot be victmized against your will. This is the secret of salvation. "You are doing it to yourself." You are responsible for choice because you have free will.
When you DISOWN this responsibility, forming a block to awareness - which is a DENIAL that you are the cause, your mind splits and dissociates.
You do not see the cause of your suffering within yourself because it is blocked from awareness behind your denial. So you reason logically, "if it is not coming from me, it MUST be coming from something that is not me."
Immediately you look outside yourself for a cause. This projects cause outside of yourself. The groundwork has been laid to BLAME anyone and anything, even randomly, for causing what you are experiencing.
So the JUSTIFICATION for anger or any kind of attack, is based on your belief that YOU aren't the one causing it.
IF it were true that someone else is CAUSING what you are experiencing, agaist your will, you WOULD be justified in seeing yourself unfairly treated, and right to be angry.
But since other people are NOT the cause of you, your anger cannot EVER be justified. That justification is based on a MISTAKEN BELIEF that YOU are not the one doing this to yourself.
Your inability to see that you are the cause of your experience, is an act of irresponsibility. So you disown responsibility and give it to someone else. They are now seen as the responsible party. And now anything that happens is THEIR doing.
If you were to remove the blocks to awareness and the denial, and heal the split in your own mind, you would become aware that you are the CAUSE of EVERYTHING you experience. And in that awareness, you would see it is OBVIOUS that no-one else can EVER be involved in causing you against your will.
The notion of blaming anyone for anything then becomes complete nonsense. The only way to blame someone is to start out with the FALSE PREMISE that YOU aren't the one doing it.
This is true no matter what the situation seems to be like, who seems to be doing what to whom, what you think of it, how you judge it, whether its moral or not, whether it's kind or not. No matter who seems to victimize who, if you are angry, you are DISOWNING your power.
Anger is therefore NOT an expression of POWER, it is an expression of POWERLESSNESS. It is an ILLUSION of power, which is actually the OPPOSITE to what it appears.
Those who are powerless are angry. Those who are powerful cannot BE angry. Those who have true power can be assertive, WITHOUT being angry. They also can be most effective. Those who are powerless can only attack and force because they lack any true strength to accomplish anything.
Being angry is NOT being assertive. It is being DESTRUCTIVE, in which there is an attempt to assert at the same time as an attempt to TAKE AWAY the power of another.
True power does not take away the power of others, it EMPOWERS them, recognizing they are one with you. You cannot accept your own empowerment if you are busy believing that others should have no power. You must actually give power TO others, in a healthy way, in order to BE powerful.
If it seems someone has power over you, it is because you have disowned your power and GIVEN IT AWAY through sacrifice and not through sharing. You have lost it because you are at war with yourself. What appears to be their power is really your disowned and projected power, which you must reclaim and reintegrate.
When no-one is seen as having power OVER you, all are seen as having power WITH you as equals. And then there is no competition and no-one "overpowering" others. When there is equal power there is mutual self-responsibility and no grounds for aggression.
People get angry because they are confused about what is causing something. And who woudn't be angry if they thought they had no power to change something, or that they were being caused against their own ability to cause. Owning up to BEING THE CAUSE erases the entire basis for projected responsibility, and makes anger IMPOSSIBLE.
Those who are at peace, are fully empowered, and never angry. Because they see that only forgiveness is justified and nothing can disturb their peace.
Fear has the potential to paralyze you. It stops people from living. It keeps people imprisoned in their own homes.
People affected by fear can avoid doing certain things many, many times over, missing out on countless experiences, interactions and relationships.
Afraid one day, afraid many days, afraid for months or even years, and allowing this fear to run your life, there comes to be an entire "life" that you could've lived but you didn't, systematically avoiding it one opportunity at a time.
I've seen this happen to a number of people, whose ability to enjoy a full life is almost permanently destroyed by fear. That includes me - I used to be so afraid of people and of living life.
So many things which could've happened but didn't, because fear said it must be avoided. Or fear said it was a threat, or dangerous, or would upset someone, or that it would lead to punishment.
Fear is always about the believed threat of some form of punishment or attack that you *perceive* is going to happen. You're sure it will happen because you yourself believe that you are guilty, for whatever reason. Actually the only reason is because deep down you believed you have sinned. But sins are forgivable because they aren't real, and one who would punish you is a sinner themselves.
You don't have to live in fear your entire life. Fear is an illusion. It isn't real or founded in reality. It's a psychological condition of temporary insanity, projection and denial. It's a choice to disown yourself, and what ends up being disowned is your life that you're not living.
Don't let fear lock you in a prison today. Set yourself free.
When your mind is whole, you are in your right mind, and not in two minds. Being in two minds is what happens when your mind is split in half. What happens in the state of split mindedness is quite interesting.
It's not merely that you split off a part of your mind. As you introduce a split, ie a belief in separation, you lose sight of wholeness completely. What then happens is you actually form TWO artificial identities, and neither one of them is the whole of you. It's almost like having two egos or personalities, and both are fake.
One of these identities, let's call it the persona, is retained in awareness as more of a conscious self. This self is the part of your mind that is steering away from darkness and sin and tries to be "good". It uses denial of "the rest of you" in order to hide its sense of sin and guilt in the darkness. It blocks it out of awareness through this denial, which is attack, which buries it and projects it.
The part of your mind which has also split - the other 50% of you - becomes a dumping ground for sin and guilt, hidden behind denial and repressed. You project this dark shit outward through disassociation, to try to disown it. It's part of further trying to disown part of your mind that your persona-self thinks is evil. Recognize the persona appears good but ultimately is judgmental and wants to destroy the sinful self.
So the "goody two shoes" part of your mind which is always trying to focus on a fake sense of idealism, positivity, looking good, saving face, being popular, seeming to be perfect etc, actually has a murderous attitude towards the other part of your mind. It basically sections off this other part of your mind, hates it, judges it, and shoves everything it does not "approve of" onto it. That includes sin and guilt, so now this "shadow self" is formed and relegated to death.
So in your mind, if your mind is split, you have this conscious persona self and this much less conscious shadow self. The shadow self is kept in the dark because, as Jesus says in the course, if you were to bring these two selves in close contact with each other they could not long remain separate.
The persona self fears the shadow self and tries to constantly judge and attack in on order to keep its distance, to maintain its own sense of autonomy. The persona sees itself as what the course calls "the face of innocence", aka the victim. And it views ithe shadow portion as a victimizer, or an enemy, which it wants nothing to do with and pushes away. This pushing away produces separation, disowning and projection onto others and the world, to try to "attach" the sin to something other than your own mind or sense of self. As the course says, separation means disassociation, or coming "between".
But we have to realize here that being split minded does not mean you are being the whole of your real self while you're in your persona self, or that your real self is under attack by the shadow self or its projections. Instead, recognize that the persona self is only a partial ego self, and it not whole, and it is not real, and it is not you. It's an artificial sense of identity formed from illusions of preference and avoidance, illusions of innocence and pretending to be perfect.
So as you consider how to forgive and take back projections and so on, you have to also realize that the "you" that is trying not to judge or project, is actually part of the judgement. It's part of the split mindedness. That persona self, wants as best it can to be completely free from the repressed shadow crap. So beware that as IT tries to take back projections, it is really not that interested in UNDOING the sense of sin, to begin with, because it needs it in order to maintain the split. And note that this persona self is "trying to wake up and be more spiritual" - the spiritual ego, and it can't - you have to wake up FROM it.
Without the split in the mind, without maintaining a sense of separation, both the shadow self and the persona self cannot exist. They rely on keeping the war going. The inner conflict has to be perpetuated, denial and blocks to awareness have to be maintained, otherwise it blows up the whole dynamic of you having a split minded relationship with another part of yourself.
For example in terms of victims and victimizers, usually the shadow crap is projected and seen as an external victimizer, while the innocent victim role is assigned to your persona self ie conscious self. But in order to "heal" this situation, it's not enough to just "take back the victimizing". It's not enough to simply own that you are the one attacking yourself from the outside in, or that you are vicariously using others to do this. The victimizer is only one HALF of the problem.
The victim role is also part of the split, and being a victim has to go as well. You can't maintain this ideal of "getting rid of attackers" while keeping the "innocent victim" intact. So what that's going to have to mean is, if you want to wake up, is that you're going to have to not only dis-identify from the victimizer, but also from being a victim. You have to recognize that your mind - the larger container of this drama - is actually playing both sides. Your mind is being both a victim and a victimizer of itself. And NEITHER of those roles is your real identity.
When you can bring both of these parts of your mind into awareness and see them together, AND then recognize that you are the ONE MIND who is pulling all the strings and making the victimizer victimize "you", plus making the victim "be a victim", you can no longer maintain the ILUSION that they are separate identities. When you own that you are both of them, you will own that you cannot be EITHER of them. It's been a lie, all along, that either of these two identities were you.
You were pretending they were DIFFERENT to each other, by means of splitting off some attributes to assign to one and some to another, to maek them seem to be opposites. But the opposition is entirely a deception and in truth, the two identities are not really opposite at all. They are both being run by one "larger" mind - your real self - who temporarily is the actor behind the scenes who has lost sight of itself while pretending to be having a multiple-personality disorder.
Because we so heavily identify with the conscious persona and not with unconscious hidden projected stuff, largely because we are not aware of it, you "as the conscious self" might think that you merely need to deal with the harmful attackers outside of you who are making your life miserable. But it's not just them. It's also you, in denial, with rose-tinted glasses, pretending to be special and perfect, who are also part of the murderous dynamic of sectioning off parts of yourself and relegating them to hell. So that sense of identity also has to be brought into question.
You are not a victim, or a victimizer. You are not the persona or the shadow. You being the persona is not you being the whole of yourself, even though this split off part of a sunbeam thinks it's the whole sun. You are bigger than both. Which means your sense of identity has to let go of these illusory selves and expand to a larger reality. As Jesus says in the course, as you awaken your sense of self expands. Because what you are really waking up from is being stuck inside little boxes and compartments, walled off from each other as if you have multiple selves that live in isolation.
Your enemy is yourself. The perpetrator is you. The victim is you. The fake innocence is just a "face" you put on to hide the pain and maintain the shadows. To take back your projection means only to reel in the projection of the shadow content, the sin and guilt, to try to bring it closer to its source. But it must also meet with your persona and cause the two of them to cancel each other out. You are larger than both aspects of the split mind, because you are the whole of mind. And only whole-mindedness, without the split condition, is a state of sanity.
The ego is always about taking sides, emphasizing differences, being special, having enemies, being offended, being at war with something. But what is this "opponent", except MORE EGO? It takes both sides of every conflict, it does not care who wins or loses. It does not care who is the victim and who is the victimizer. It is both, in a state of self attack. It doesn't even care if you live or die because it knows that someone will die, when you play its games.
So you have to realize that your "conscious ego self" is really only PART OF the problem and your sense of having a spiritualized ego is just as much part of the problem as the projected sin. Being holier than thou goes hand in hand with becoming highly judgmental and condemning other parts of yourself as unworthy and defective. If you feel unworthy it's because your conscious self believes it is superior. Inferiority and superiority go hand in hand.
The conscious ego self cannot wake up. Much of its efforts are to make its life better by continuing to repressed, reject, accuse, condemn, project, disown and kill off anything resembling "unacceptable and unlovable". And yet all the while, judging you are unlovable from the outside so that it is never satisfied with trying to make you more perfect through self mutilation. The ego is in two minds. It is not in its right mind. And it is not your mind. There is more to you than any of these roles or fantasies or illusions of being one thing and not another. You are everything.
Miracles are everyone's right. Both their receipt and their expression.
God is not in a state of choosing whether to perform a healing. God is not waiting to make a healing occur. God is not considering whether it's right or wrong to heal. God is not delaying healing for some special reason.
God is always the same. God has already fully given all of Himself, to the maximum extent possible.
Prior to the separation, all of God was already given and received fully! You already had perfection.
The idea of the separation was an attempt to PUSH AWAY that which you ALREADY HAD and to deny that God has given it.
Every effort in the ego to make the separation real, tries to deny the reality of God's abundance.
If it seems rare or inconsistent that miracles occur, or that minds are joined at all, that's because the ego's separation has been so "severe" that what was once whole and full and freely abundant has been reduced to barely a trickle.
Such is the ego's resistance, the use of the physical form to repress and counteract the receipt of God's abundance, that when a rare miracle seems to happen everyone's like, oh my God, that's so fantastic. And when anyone shares a little bit of mind, it's like, wow, that's a special ability.
No. Miracles are everyone's right. They are natural expressions of love. When they are not happening, something has gone wrong. And in the ego's world, something has MAJORLY gone wrong, resulting in what appears to be miracles that are few and far between. Those willing to even entertain the possibility of miracles, yet alone becoming able to perform them, is even more uncommon.
A miracle, as an expression of God, and all miracles combined, are merely the abundance of God being shared. All of God's abundance was ALREADY shared. You already had it prior to the illusion of separation. You already had immortality, eternal life, divine health, and absolute invulnerability.
That we now claw and grasp at tiny morsels of miracles is a profoundly opposite state of being, where the idea of accessing even a PART of any of these God given promises is considered "miraculous" and applause-worthy. Miracles are supposed to be happening ALL THE TIME, for EVERYONE!
Recognize then that when attempting to perform a miracle, the doing so should NOT entail in any way notions that God has not yet given all that He is. You need to erase from your mind all beliefs that God has not given, will not give, is waiting to give, etc. You must stop looking and WAITING for God to do the miraculous. This means, you have a ROLE to fulfill to facilitate and support the miraculous expression of God, and you need to TAKE ACTION!
It MUST be true that God has ALREADY done his part! It's not God's FAULT that miracles aren't happening. It's not His responsibility that miracles aren't happening. God is not in error, God has not failed, God is not broken, and God did not decide to stop sharing eternal life with you or anyone.
It is US who have fucked up. Or more to the point, it is our choice to produce "ego" - resistances to sharing God - which are defenses against God's will being fully expressed and extended. We are trying to stick our thumb in the tap to stop the flow. We've become spiritually constipated. We are constantly trying to STOP miracles from happening. Like, all the time. Our state of denial and defense is so profound that we're actually convinced God is no longer GIVING eternal life. Our unwillingness to RECEIVE eternal life is a choice for death.
To perform miracles again, we must OVERCOME the separation, OVERCOME the ego, and TAKE BACK what is rightfully ours. We're not really taking it back from someone who has taken it from us, and we're not really victims of theft, but it SEEMS like we are. In order to take back our miracles, therefore, our divine right, we need to be willing to SURRENDER and own up to our natural role as Christ.
All that we have GIVEN AWAY, needs to be reclaimed. All that we have blocked, needs to be set free. All that we have chosen to live without, needs to be accepted once again.
So performing a miracle must entail you're not sitting there waiting for God to do something. Your role is not to go to God asking Him to do something. He's already done his part! Your role is not to look at the ego and keep checking it to see if it is changing "on its own", as though some other will is deciding to manifest the miraculous effects. These are all ways that we are still blaming God for our disowning of power and abundance. These are ways of disowning the miracles.
If God has done His part fully, and if we have rejected our part, and if it's us who have given away God's gifts, then performing a miracle is simply RE-RECEIVING what God has already given. Miracles are natural. It's taking it back, by ceasing to disown it. It's ceasing to believe that "someone else" or "some cause else" is the reason why we don't have eternal life. We need to take it back from our own imaginary thieves, who are really scapegoats for our own choice to NOT receive God's love.
The Christian miracle workers focus quite a lot on taking back what the devil has stolen from you. This doesn't recognize that you did it to yourself. Yet, in the ego's universe, it can seem as though there are "bad spirits" or other negativity which causes sickness etc. Really, though, we should be careful not to battle against "forces" that we ourselves have put in place, otherwise we're really trying to wage a spiritual "war" against our own decision to believe in the ego. Evil is not reality. There is no need for a spiritual war against an imaginary enemy, but there IS need for us to responsibly reclaim what is naturally ours - that we have given away.
Really, there is no enemy, such as sickness or death, it's just us pretending to disown and disallow God. When we own up to that and recognizing that we're doing this to ourselves, we will be supremely confident in working "miracles" because we will know with clarity that NOTHING CAN STOP US other than ourselves. So fear has absolutely no foundation and cannot stop the truth from manifesting.
Let's stop blaming God for sickness or trying to turn to Him to do something about it. He's already done everything that's real and everything that's true. He hasn't stopped loving. He hasn't stopped sustaining PERFECT HEALTH. He hasn't stopped infusing Eternal Life into us forever and ever. It's us who have chosen to resist and fail to claim it.
Therefore, recognize miracles are already FULLY GIVEN. The work we have to do now is to stop blocking them and learn to RECEIVE them. And this happens through SURRENDER, relaxation, openness to Holy Spirit, and ALLOWING Him to flow and rebuild by God's Will.
Holy Spirit said to me, simply, "Surrender, and let God do the rest". This is key to performing miracles. They are not effort. They require surrender of the ego, a calmness, an openness, and an allowing of God's Will to be done. You are a conduit for the extension of LOVE to flow THROUGH you. You just need to stop blocking it. When you allow God, miracles will be effortless, normal, abundant, and constant!
Besides projecting your guilt onto others, you also project your WILL and your POWER.
You take a chunk of your own power, which is tied to your will, and you give it to someone else. As you shift ownership of the guilt into someone else's hands, you are not just handing over guilt but also "who is the cause" of the guilt. That causality, that power to cause, is your own will. So you simultaneously hand over your own will to the other person.
Then the other person now looks like they have an extra amount of willpower - an "alien will", a separate will. It seems like this will has power to do stuff, sure. But the problem is you now perceive that this will is separated from your own will and that it has power over or against what is left of your will. A split mind has a split will in conflict with itself.
This makes sense, because really you can only do anything to yourself, so YOUR OWN WILL that you put into the other person DOES seem to have the power to do something to you. IF it were really the will that belonged to someone else, it would NOT have the power to do anything to you.
So literally you are then acting against yourself, through someone else, using your own will as your own attacker. So even when you are victimized, it's still you doing it to yourself. Nobody ever does anything to you.
By disowning your will and handing it over, you strip yourself of seeming power, and become weakened or powerless. You have to do that because you can't see yourself as a victim if you are powerful. Nothing can happen to you but by your own will, so you literally have to lay down your own power and 'pretend' that you are weak, vulnerable, at-the-effect of the dream, and susceptible to being easily influenced. None of that is possible for those who are powerful, so you have to disown your power to do so. And since nothing happens without your consent, and BY your own will, you have to GIVE your own will to someone else in order for them to seem to use will against you. Otherwise they have no power over you.
You can't, however, get rid of power. Instead you displace it onto the people that you're projecting the guilt onto. You give it to them. And it is by giving them power over you, at least in your imagination, that you literally give them the 'power to do something to you'. They don't really have this power because it's really just your own will that you are afraid will attack you. But while you project and hallucinate that it is IN someone else, you associate it WITH someone else so that you can disassociate from your guilt, so now you think it is NOT your will that you see out there.
So really you are just afraid of your own will that you projected onto someone else, staring you back in the face and threatening to attack you. You think it's that person attacking you, but its really you. And you're afraid of the sense of power that they have, particularly the more you give it away and the weaker and more vulnerable you see yourself. They seem to loom large over you like there is nothing you can do and nowhere you can go to be safe from it. But it's really YOUR POWER that you're afraid of - the projected power that you need to reclaim.
So on the one hand, taking back that guilt and dropping your false innocence and letting go of victimhood seems like something you don't want to do, especially because it means you would have to own up to being guilty. But on the other hand, when you do take it back you are ALSO TAKING BACK YOUR POWER. You are literally taking back your own will, that you lost and displaced. The other person does not HAVE any power over you and the idea of an alien will was entirely an illusion. Nothing's stopping you from taking your power back. You just have to recognize IT IS YOURS and it is not theirs, because you gave it to them (or tried to).
So now you take back your guilt but also you take back your power, take back your will, and this renders you much less able to be victimized, or to believe that you are victimizable. Your sense of vulnerability will reduce and you will feel 'stronger' and more confident about being able to stand your ground. You won't NEED to stand your ground 'against' the oppressive others, however, because by taking your power back AWAY from them, they now are not artificially empowered and you no longer PERCEIVE that they have 'extra power' to do something to you. And so you are not threatened. And so you can now feel safe.
You are safe when you are in your own power. You are safe when you do not give your own will to other people. You are safe when you do not choose to be a victim. You are safe when there is nothing to be afraid of because the only thing you were afraid of was YOUR OWN WILL. You are only afraid of it when you disown it, and when you reclaim it you are EMPOWERED.
Then, when you take your guilt and you take it to Holy Spirit to let Him decide if you are innocent, and you ACCEPT that you are innocent, you will be even MORE empowered because you won't be weakened by guilt. Innocence needs no defense. True innocence is powerful.
"I am not weak but strong."
"I am not afraid but all powerful."
-ACIM
I see that, in the end, loss is a form of victimhood. It's not something that can happen to an immortal being. It suggests that something valued has been taken away from you against your will, with no hope of getting it back. Like a kind of attack that has happened to steal something away from you. And now you are bereft or lacking that thing.
If, in light of the loss, you then feel "unfairly treated", slighted, offended, hurt, upset, etc... it means you're buying into the ego's view. A sense of identity that can experience losses, a self that can be taken from, a self that is "aggrieved" and has "grieve-ances" because of a seeming "murder" of a body-person that has taken place. It reflects a belief in murder and death and being at the effect of them. The course reminds:
"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss, and I cannot die. I am not a body. I would recognize my reality today. I will worship no idols, nor raise my own self-concepts to replace my Self. I am in the likeness of my Creator. Love created me like Itself." UrW84L2
Who or whatever is suffer a loss, is not part of me, as an immortal being. If I feel that I am in loss or grief, then my sense of identity is misplaced and I believe I am an ego. It means I'm in a mental illness and lack recognition, and must be playing the role of victim.
"Whatever suffers is not part of me. What grieves is not myself. What is in pain is but illusion in my mind. What dies was never living in reality, and did but mock the truth about myself. Now I disown self-concepts and deceits and lies about the holy Son of God. Now am I ready to accept him back as God created him, and as he is." UrW284
I still at times, at present, personally, have grief and loss. This indicates that I am still playing the game of ego and suffering, an identity which is false and am in need of healing. Until I get there, the only solution typically is to feel the loss and grieve the absence and so on. Like people do. But in the big picture, the end-game is clear - the renunciation of an artificial self, that suffers an artificial loss, and wants the very death that it grieves over.
In terms of cause and effect, God who is cause created us as his effect, yet shared his causal ability with us, making us also able to cause. We are an effect of God, but we are also a co-creator and cause of our own creations.
God is cause. We are cause. And nothing can alter what we are or make us an effect, other than God, because we are sustained by God's constant will. We are affected by nothing, having been given eternal life, maintained forever by God himself.
The idea of the separation from God, introduced the idea of a breakdown in cause and effect. That means, a breakdown in the relationship between God and his creation/son. It suggests that causes are separate from their effects.
This also produced the belief that you are not caused by God. And also that you can cause God - which is the authority problem - a denial of the causal power of authorship. And therefore that you can cause what God created, thus changing what God created. And since you were a creation of God's, it began the belief that you could change yourself and redefine yourself, plus make-up a new father.
In this process, your recognition of being a creator was denied, you disowned God as cause and thus disowned causation, and began to see yourself as not causal. You began to see yourself as an effect, or affected by, or changed by. You began to believe thigns could happen to you against God's will and against your will. As the course says...
"Sickness and death entered the mind of God's Son against His Will."
In other words, you began to see yourself as at the effect of something other than God, and other than yourself, as though that which has been created (or dreamed/mis-created) has turned around and has begun to create, cause, define and affect what you are.
This introduces level confusion, as well as the reversal of the true and the false, and the reversal of cause and effect. You now see yourself as an effect and not a cause, and you deny causing anything. This means you are trying to "be affected", and to portray yourself as something that can be affected, so that you can change yourself into what you wish to be.
This produced the body, which is a sort of outside picture of the idea of a self that can be at the effect of its environment, a self that can be an effect and not a cause, with no power to cause at all, and acted upon by the world. This body presents the "face of innocence", which hides the idea that you're trying to be a victim, ie trying to be affected, by the world.
"The first presents the face of innocence, the aspect acted ON. It is this face that smiles and charms and even seems to love. It searches for companions, and it looks at times with pity on the suffering, and sometimes offers solace. It believes that it is good, within an evil world."
So now there is this artificial you, which looks like a body, and which is "acted upon" by the world, in which the arrows or direction of causation begins out there somewhere, external and beyond the body and the self/mind, and comes in and acts upon the body/self/mind and causes it to change. Causes it to be affected. And thus the face of innocence, the surface of the body, becomes the canvas on which "effects" are painted to make it seem like you are caused by an alien will outside yourself.
Another way to put this is that, as soon as cause and effect were reversed, you introduced the idea of being "affectable" rather than immortal, that you could change and be changed. And this was the beginning of being a victim. And this is also exactly the beginning of the ego thought system.
To be a victim is to be ego. To be a victim is to be at the effect. To be a victim is to be an effect, not a cause. Victimhood is the denial and refusal to admit to being the cause. Victimhood is irresponsibility and a complete displacement of the responsibility for causing anything, portraying itself as helpless and powerless and at the mercy of anyone and anything.
And this shows up as the face of innocence - the innocent victim that seems not to ask for attack but is still attacked and can then justify anger and revenge. A self that won't take responsibility for causing anything, in an attempt to disown responsibility for sinning against God. To deny and disown all responsibility is to displace and project it onto others and the world, so that the guilty self can pretend to be exonerated.
If you are an effect, you are an ego. If you are an effect, you are a victim. If you are an effect, cause and effect have been reversed. This effectively means that if you swap cause and effect back around and claim total responsibility for being the cause of everything you experience, then you can no longer be a victim, and that also means you can no longer be an ego.
Ego is made of effects. It can only exist as a victim. It requires powerlessness and a disowning of causal power. It must see itself as deprived and lacking and less than whole. It cannot survive when you are powerful, it cannot survive when you are responsible, it cannot survive when you are the cause of everything. It depends on you remaining a powerless victim, and depends on cause and effect staying reversed. To be responsible is to own and know yourself as God created you!
Backwards peception or false perception is another name for ego and another name for being at the effect of the world. Backwards perception is the reversal of cause and effect, in which you are always affected by something seemingly against your will, while secretly choosing it. True perception is the restoration of cause and effect into their proper sequence, in which you are now the cause and the dreamer and a victim of nothing, totally invulnerable, incapable of suffering or blame.
So you can see that to put it simply, with the authority problem which is the breakdown and reversal of cause and effect, as soon as you begin to identify with/as being an effect/affected/victimized, as soon as you give away your power, as soon as you regard yourself as not the cause of what you experience, you are producing an egoic thought system and are losing your mind.
To reclaim total responsibility for the power of God and for causation and creative authorship and being absolutely incapable of being caused by anything but God, denying the power of anything not of God any power to affect or hurt you, which is the proper use of denial, you simply need to own up to being the immortal victimless powerful causer and chooser of what you experience. If nothing can happen to you, you cannot be an ego. If you are purely causal, you are the immortal son of God.
"Father, I was created in Your Mind, a holy Thought that never left its home. I am forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are my Cause. As You created me I have remained. Where You established me I still abide, and all Your attributes abide in me because it is Your Will to have a Son so like his Cause that Cause and Its Effect are indistinguishable. Let me know that I am an Effect of God, and so I have the power to create like You. And as it is in Heaven, so on earth. Your plan I follow here, and at the end I know that You will gather Your Effects into the tranquil Heaven of Your Love, where earth will disappear, and separate things unite in glory as the Son of God."
The side-effects of having a mistaken perception are really quite understandable.
If you choose to attack yourself, and to then deny that you're the one who did that, you will disown it. This disownership is what we call projection. We displace it onto some sense of 'not me' or 'others'. Then we seem to see it in them as though they own it or they created it, convinced that we did not do it to ourselves.
Then because we perceive this about them, and still in denial that we're hallucinating our own projected crap onto them, whatever they do will seem to offend us. And then we'll experience it as though we're being attacked by them, but we're really being attacked internally by our own self-attack.
And then because we are still in denial and don't see our self-attack, instead believing that someone else is responsible for doing this to us, it will seem completely justified to be angry at them.
IF it were true that people attack you against your will, or that something is happening that you have not chosen, then it makes TOTAL SENSE that you would be justified in being angry and upset. And it is within this context that these feelings and reactions will happen.
BUT, it is a mistaken reaction, always, and is never really justified, precisely because it is NOT TRUE that someone else has attacked you. It was really YOU attacking you, you were just in denial of it and disassociated from your own responsibility. You did not SEE yourself attack yourself because you blocked it from your mind and shoved it onto someone else, so now it seems like they did it to you. If they had done it to you, yes, you'd be justified. And that's why people feel like they're always justified in being angry or outraged or offended. But they're not.
When you're angry or outraged or offended, it's usually involving a claim that OTHER PEOPLE ARE WRONG for some reason, and that all you're doing is innocently pointing out the obvious truth. Well, that's not the whole truth. The truth is YOU are being dishonest and irresponsible, YOU are an attacker, YOU have attacked yourself first and foremost AND you are now blaming that attack on someone else, so YOU are attacking them for your own attack, which is a double attack. So who is in the wrong here? Who is really mistaken?
Ego projections boil down to a very, very simple dynamic.
1) I decide what I want to see in someone.
2) I interact with what I now see in them as if I did not put it there.
The way I interact with what I see in others, is quite bizarre. It's really insane. I'm trying to accomplish two opposite goals at once.
1) I want other people to be what I say they are, by projecting my sin and guilt onto them, "convinced" that they really are that way.
2) I then demand that they stop being what I am seeing them being, and that they be the opposite, and that they are the one who has to choose differently. This is "forgiveness to destroy".
So right off the bat, this is a state of conflict. It's me who is seeing other people are doing "something wrong", and then it is me who is insisting that they change their behavior. So now I'm holding it against them when they don't change "for me". And they won't.
I'm literally demanding two separate outcomes simultaneously. I want people to be what I decide they are, and then I want them to not be what I've decided they are, simply because I'm in denial of being the one who has laid down the ground rules to begin with.
So I'm going around basically projecting shit onto people, deciding ok, you are doing this and that wrong and should be doing this and that instead. And then the rest of my "play" is to react to that accusation. It tends to go one of two ways.
1) They are wrong and they shouldn't be doing what they're doing so they are the ones who need to change, not me, and if they don't, I will victimize them. I will hold it against them.
2) They are wrong and they shouldn't be doing what they're doing, but in a hero savior role I will now swoop in and save them from "themselves", those sorry bastards, since they refuse to change themselves and seem 'helpless' and needy.
Each time I react to something being incorrect or unacceptable in another, who exactly is it who has made that person out to be wrong in this way? Are they inherently wrong in this way or have I actually decided to see them this way, and therefore it's my judgement of them? And now that I am responsible for what I'm seeing, having put it there to see, it's now my responsibility to admit that I'm interacting with my own projection.
As Jesus says in the course, generally speaking we will project our own sin outward and try to disown it (disassociate) and then we will attack what we've projected, accusing it of being sinful and bad, in order to create a sense of separation between it and ourselves, so that we can keep it away from our identity.
We will attack our own sin, thinking that we're attacking it in another person, believing that to do so causes them to receive the punishment and not us. Except it doesn't work because the sin never leaves our own mind (ideas leave not their source), it just seems external because we are in denial of it.
So it really all boils down to this. Whatever interaction I seem to be having with "the world", if I don't like it, it's because I'm the one who is deciding on what I am seeing "in" it, and am reacting to it as though it's really out there. And regardless of whether I am liking to do that or am feeling frustrated or upset or whatever about "what they are doing", I am the one who is making them out to be doing that to me. Because I want to. Because it gives me an opportunity to disown some sin.
ie, I love to suffer. I choose suffering on purpose and position myself as a victim on purpose, so that I can seem to be at the effect of the world, so that I can then explain that the world has caused me and therefore the world is the sinner, not me. I might suffer and be sick or afraid or upset as "effects" of what they supposedly did to me (even though I invented those effects in myself, by myself), but I secretly am getting away with murder by "using" the person as an outlet for projecting my own sin. Now they are the sinner and not me, and I'm suffering... poor me, but at least I am not the sinner any more.
So the ego's mantra is, I wish to suffer in order not to suffer. Or rather, I will see the world as attacking me and attack myself with it so that it seems that I'm not attacking myself with it.
We are to demonstrate that we cannot be hurt, or made sick, or caused to die, as a result of this world. And whenever these things seem to be happening, you can be assured that you've positioned yourself as a deliberate victim, in order to pretend that the world is responsible for what you are experiencing. You may be suffering, you may be sick, you may even end up dead, and it will conveniently seem as if the world made this happen against your will, but nothing could be further from the truth.
No-one dies without their own consent. And anyone who dies has secretly arranged to make it appears as if they did not choose it at all. Death is an attempt not to choose, by pretending that you have no choice, by pretending that others have taken all your power away from you, making you an "unwilling" victim, in a state of unwillingness, such that it appears death happens to you against your will. How convenient. It's a total lie.
Death is unwillingness to admit that you are pretending to die and are blaming everything on anyone other than yourself. This is why death is failure, and death is failing to wake up from the dream. Death is impossible for anyone but self-imposed victims. Death is not life. It is not success or graduation. It is the total opposite of life. It cannot happen without being severely against yourself and against the will of God. Therefore it cannot happen "peacefully" nor can it happen AT ALL unless you attack yourself.
Freedom of Choice > Responsibility > Power > Causation > Effects.
To simplify, think of cause and effect. You are either the cause, or the effect. If you see yourself as the cause, you cannot be an effect. Your casual outpouring is so strong nothing can come at you. If you see yourself as not the cause, you MUST see yourself as being highly affected and therefore ARE an effect of something.
When you project responsibility outside yourself, onto another or the world, you are disowning and giving away your power. You are giving power TO them. You are framing them in your mind as having the power to CAUSE YOU, and to make you have effects. And it will seem these effects are against your will - something you did not choose.
But you are choosing it, because you are using your power to PRETEND to disown your power, you are still using your power to frame someone as having power over you, and the power that you see IN them acting against you IS YOUR POWER. You just are seeing it as though it belongs to someone else and is not a part of you.
You've separated yourself from your power and now your power is seeming to turn around 180 degrees and come back at you in the form of "an alien will", causing you, changing you, defining you, altering you without your choosing. Or so it seems. Because you ARE choosing this. You are choosing to see your power as against yourself, doing things to you. Even if it seems to be being done "through" others vicariously.
This means you're in a position which is rather strange, where you are FIGHTING YOURSELF. Like literally you are taking your power, moving it away from you, turning it around, and then launching it at yourself in an attack mode, causing you to have effects.
Your mind believes the power is out there against you. Your mind ALSO must believe therefore that since you are NOT having the power, you are NOT the cause, you are NOT responsible, you MUST BE AN EFFECT. The belief in being not the cause and being affected go hand in hand.
This means that your mind is putting in place both the framing of something external as "attacking you", AND it is putting in place the SYMPTOMS, physically mentally or emotionally, that you would expect to occur IF that power were acting upon you. Your mind ITSELF, makes up effects, that correspond to the perceived cause.
This literally means your mind makes symptoms in the body, makes up sickness and disease and even death, makes up wounds and heartache, makes up emotional reactions and loss and sadness and anger and hurt, to correspond to the perceived external cause. Not just imagining it, but actually MAKING IT, producing it, putting it into your experience, changing your feelings, changing your body.
This especially happens when you project guilt, in which you are basically projecting responsibility, which is cause. You are saying, I am not the cause of this, you are, and are pointing a finger and hurling guilt at another to try to make it stick to them. But moreso what you are doing is you are trying to give them power and responsibility and will and freedom and choice and causation to have these things INSTEAD of you.
It's rather bizarre then that we literally give power to people, to frame them as capable of attacking us, threatening us, making us afraid, upsetting us, doing things to us. We effectively WANT THEM TO. Even if on the surface we are claiming to be innocent, even if we are feeling that feeling of "I didn't choose this, I don't want this, I didn't ask for it."
You see, that victim perspective in which you feel like you are being unfairly treated, that's the feeling you get when you are becoming "an effect". It's the recognition that you have indeed projected power, cause, responsibility etc, and so see yourself as NOT responsible, NOT the cause, NOT the one using power to make something happen.
In victimhood (ego) you perceive that you are not the cause of what's happening, and you are in denial of this, and having denied it you are projecting it. So now you see cause as outside of you, in someone else, acting upon you, at the same time as NOT seeing that you are causing anything yourself. The denial acts as a barrier blocking awareness of what YOU are doing, that YOU are using power, that YOU are responsible, that YOU are causing this.
It's understandable then that as the victimhood role strengthens, the denial and disownership of power, causation and responsibility increases. You believe less and less that "it's your fault" (guilt-related). You believe less and less that you chose it, wanted it, made it happen, or had anything to do with it. Almost as if you were just minding your own business doing nothing at all and someone came out of the blue and attacked you for no good reason. As if you were just completely innocent (the face of innocence).
And that's simply because the power has been projected. The power has been given away, disowned, you don't want it, and you WANT the other to have it. So you simultaneously have this experience of "I didn't ask for this, how could you do this to me", and "that person is having power over me and is the cause of me." You can't have one part without the other. Just as you can't have a belief in an external cause WITHOUT a belief in having effects as well. "I want you to have my power, please use it against me, and I will pretend I don't want you to."
So we quite literally use the power of our mind to dissociate from our power, we hand it over to all kinds of things out there that HAVE NO POWER, other than us giving it to it in our minds. And then having given it to them, they seem to loom over us and we now fear them and feel powerless and weak and feeble. Unable to go up against such a power, as though we have no power at all. And now we are tempted to see ourselves as unfairly treated.
What we have to recognize of course is the secret of salvation - that we are doing this to ourselves. We have to recognize and own the power and responsibility. We have to take back the power of decision and use it to choose otherwise with the Holy Spirit. We have to stop believing that ANYTHING outside of us HAS OUR POWER, and indeed need to recognize that the power we THOUGHT was theirs is in fact our own. It only seemed like theirs because we disowned it and didn't want it.
So we take our power back. We claim responsibility for causing everything we are experiencing. We acknowledge, I have caused this thing, I have done this to myself, it is not being done by this other person or something in the body or the world, I am not a victim of this, I am not being affected by them, they have no power over me. I own and take back and reclaim my own power which I gave away, and take full responsibility for it. Which means that I must be CHOOSING what happens, I must be CAUSING what happens, and I MUST have caused all of my own suffering.
All my symptoms I put in place myself. All my upset emotions I put in place myself. All my despair and loss and shame and guilt I did to myself. All sense that I'd been attacked or mistreated or shamed or attacked by anyone else was MY MISTAKE in perceiving this wrongly. I did not recognize that I was using my power to pretend to disown my power, and using it to set up others to attack me for me. I didn't realize I was fighting against myself with a divided will. I have been using my power to try to destroy myself, attacking myself, using others to do my bidding, and then blaming them for it.
Ultimately you need to resume your role and position as ruler of the universe. You are the CAUSE of everything you see and feel and think and experience. You are the co-creator with God with unlimited power. What you say happens, what you do not want does not happen. You articulate reality. You CREATE. You cause what happens and you WANT what happens because you chose it. Everything that happens YOU MUST BE CHOOSING. And by the power of your decision you choose NOT TO SUFFER AND TO STOP ATTACKING YOURSELF LIKE THIS.
Indeed, when you realize that nothing at all has been attacking you OTHER THAN YOURSELF, through your mis-use of your power and will, you can find relief in knowing that if you would just stop hurting your own self, stop giving away your power so that you can be indirectly attacked by yourself, stop disowning responsibility for CAUSING, for CHOOSING, you would stop suffering entirely, and forever. Because NO ONE HAS POWER OVER YOU OTHER THAN YOURSELF! And no-one and nothing can ever cause you to suffer, to be sick, or to die without your consent.
"For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."
Believing that what is impossible, untrue and unreal...
... is actually possible, true and real.
When someone believes it is possible to separate from God by attacking Him, that's completely impossible, and it's insane to believe it.
When someone believes that they really have separated from God, and thus sin is real, given that it really is not, that's another level of insanity.
When someone then believes that they're really guilty because of this sin, that's yet more insanity because guilt isn't real.
When someone splits their mind in half trying to get away from that guilt, using denial and suppression to block awarenses of that guilt, and then proceeds to try to shove that guilt into a state of unconsciousness, that's also yet more insanity.
When someone then believes that the split off part of their own mind is not part of themselves, that's more insanity.
And when someone then proceeds to try to disown and blame that unconscious guilt, part of themselves, onto other people, that is yet more insanity.
And when they then perceive that other people are the place where guilt lives, that the guilt in others is attacking them, and that they are now having reactions caused by the other person, that's yet more insanity on top of it all.
All of this is insanity.
Look at the human race. Look at who is doing this. Every day. Day in day out. Look at how insane the human race is.
Look at how it seems "normal and acceptable" for people to blame and scapegoat, as even this final layer of insanity, reacting to each other as though someone else is doing something to them, and how this forms common "society", that's just totally nuts. Few people realize or recognize it AS insanity, so believe that this is natural and normal. Like a normal way of functioning.
And then there is death, the ultimate insanity, in which people commit suicide on purpose because they believe death is life and sacrifice is salvation and what is true is false and what is unreal is reality. Death is complete insanity.
As though blame and disassociation and mental illness and separation and sin and guilt and fear and attack are denial and hatred and suffering are all NORMAL somehow. Like, how nuts is that?
Mental illness is not reserved for those who more obviously seem to have lost their mind. Almost everyone has lost their mind.
Fortunately there is a correction of forgiveness which can UNDO insanity and restore reality to the mind, which ultimately cannot REALLY be insane.
So to even believe that there REALLY is an insane human race, is once again more insanity. Hah.
"The world IS perception." "The world you made."
Some people believe that they are just a little mind inside a little body. And based on this premise, they think they peer out onto an outside world, and "perceive it" or interpret it. They think perception is entirely this act of looking out upon the world that's there. As if false perception is a misinterpretation of what's there and true perception regards it as "God intended", all seen from "within" a body.
But this position is entirely fictional, because in truth your mind contains the world ("heaven and earth are both in you rmind") and you are therefore "bigger than" the universe. Even the "physical planet" Earth, the solar system,and the galaxy, are inside your mind.
Therefore the self that seems to be solely "inside a body and not outside it" is an illusion of playing small. And therefore perception is not merely your peering out through the body, perception is a universe-sized mind dreaming of a PLANET, including the making of countless bodies. You are dreaming of an entire world. ALL of it is your perceiving from that unlimited vantage point. You thinking of yourself as just "little and in a body" is a decoy, a piece of a dream inside a larger dream. You are making the entire environment from the outside in.
This is why the world, Earth, the planet, is itself your mechanism of perceiving, a visualization and hallucination of a world. "The world is false perception." Earth is your misperceiving, from a universe-sized mind. It is a dream you are having, as a universe-sized dreamer. Correcting perception and shifting from false perception to true, does not entail seeing the world's truth, but recognizing the world is always false perception and that you must OVERLOOK IT in order to see the truth BEYOND it, beyond this universe, shining from God's world - Heaven - which is another universe entirely.
"Your mind has the power to create worlds."
When you dream at night, you invent not only a body, but an entire environment. You make building and streets and trees and people and various happenings. Sometimes entire landscapes. And within this dream, which you are making ALL of in fine detail, you make a body which you place a portion of your awareness into, and peer out through, upon this dream world that YOU ARE MAKING, pretending to see it AS IF it is just "there on its own" and has nothing to do with your dreaming it. That you don't believe you are putting it there AT ALL. And so you think "I am only this body, in this objective world." This is entirely an illusion, because your mind is literally MAKING THE WHOLE WORLD that you are roaming around in, and that makes you are PRETENDING not to be its maker by hiding in a body.
The same is true of this world, Earth, this universe, this realm. It is an entire landscape you are MAKING WITH YOUR MIND. It is a dream, that your mind is actually literally putting there, on a MASSIVE SCALE. Your mind is MAKING PLANETS. This is "the world you made." And in this world, like in your night dreams, you are putting yourself inside a tiny body and pretending to be so small and insignificant and powerless and mindless that you couldn't possibly be making the planet, or even making your own body. You then think someone else more powerful must make it and it's not you, ie it's God. Not true. YOUR MIND IS MAKING THE ENTIRE ENVIRONMENT. And is then hiding in a body to pretend to disown the entire making of it, so that you can pretend you did not make the world, and rather that IT MAKES YOU, and thus you suffer by its hand.
This is all self deception. The ENTIRE WORLD IS YOUR PERCEPTION. Your mind is larger than the universe. Its PERCEPTION makes PLANETS. And so the correction of illusions in your mind, and the end of false perception (the world is false perception), literally means, the end of the world. The disappearance of the universe. You have to think really, really, really big to get this.
We need to learn to stop treating fear like it's just some kind of natural phenomenon, or a normal response, or some aspect of a biological flight-or-fight mechanism, or something that protects us from danger, or any of the other bullshit explanations for fear.
We actually need to question what fear is doing and why it is doing it, and where it's really coming from. It's all too easy to simply "be afraid", to experience the fear, without any kind of questioning of whether the fear is natural or needed or well founded.
Fear is the opposite of love. You can't be loving when you're afraid. Which would you rather be, loving or afraid? Which one is a more truth-filled experience?
It's one thing to become afraid and to think, well, I'm afraid "because of" a big long random list of outside influences that you think cause the fear. And to then be locked inside that perception with no apparent way out of it, since you believe that you are not the one who is choosing the fear at all.
But we can't do that. We have to bring fear into question, because fear is actually untruth. It is always a lie. There is never any good reason to be afraid. Fear is never justified. And fear is always a deceptive ego mechanism for making your situation worse.
We have to look at our "fearing" and take some responsibility for generating this condition. We have to be willing to admit that we are the ones who have actually created fear. We keep making it. We keep putting it in our experience. We keep choosing it. And we keep using it ON PURPOSE to play the part of victim so that we can get some side-benefits.
Fear allows us to disown responsibility. It allows us to seemingly shield ourselves from guilt. It lets us pretend that someone else is at fault. It allows us to label others as enemies and project guilt onto them. It lets us hide from God. It lets us have a separate identity that God did not create. And it allows us to pursue our 'dream' of being an individual. These are quite significant reasons for fear that we need to look at and own up to if we're to live a life without fear.
Is it possible to live with no fear? To be 100% fearless? Not like, some idiot that is over-confident and reckless and putting on a show of bravado while being secretly insecure... but the complete absence of all fear, and therefore, only the presence of unconditional love at all times? A love that is so certain and so secure that within it there can be no reason for fear? And no desire to choose it. Of course it is possible, as Jesus has demonstrated.
So don't think fear is just some natural biological or human thing. It's not. It's a state of mental illness. It is insanity. And it is a game that we keep playing with ourselves to pretend we're not who we are. There are some very sneaky reasons for having fear, and none of them are honest or truthful.
So when Jesus says "be not afraid", he isn't just saying, don't freak out when I appear out of nowhere, He's saying, stop choosing fear and recognize that love is the only reality. He's not telling us to be brave in the face of danger, he's telling us there IS no danger. And that any efforts we're making to go into fear without questioning it, are really a deception on our part. We don' need to be afraid because only love is real.
Death is the complete and total disowning of yourself and all responsibility for who you are. It is an attempt to say "I am not eternal life", "I am not as God created me", "I am not even who I am".
The only way you can accomplish this disowning of yourself is on purpose, deliberately and intentionally. It is your own self that you have to give away and it is your power you must disown. You have to choose to do this.
This is why the Course teaches that "nobody dies but without his own consent". You literally have to choose to die. What this means is, you literally have to choose not to be what you really are.
But you can't actually stop yourself from being what you really are, because GOD is the one who has established what you are. You cannot go against his Will or change His mind. He created you for an eternity and you can never die.
So the idea that you can not be as God created you, or not be yourself, or be the opposite of Life, or have no Life in you, is merely an act of DENIAL. It is a denial of the truth that you are eternal life and can never die.
And so death is a choice to deny the truth, and is why "sickness is a defense against the truth." But denial of the truth is not the same thing as its removal. You can deny that God exists but this does not destroy God. You can deny you are not who you are or that your life is not your own or that you have no power or that you cannot be responsible for who God created you to be, but that will not change any facts. Denial isn't a fact. Death isn't a fact. It is a cover up.
Nobody has really ever died and nobody ever will. Death doesn't work and you cannot die. You may or may not transition into or out of bodies for whatever purpose, but what you are cannot die.
Since the illusion of death - the *denial* that you are eternal - can only seem to happen by choice, this also means that you can choose otherwise, and therefore you can choose not to experience death. If at some point you decide to 'lay the body down' or exit the physical form, it can be through true peace, power, truth and freedom, rather than some cause you didn't seem to want. And it will have no effect on you because you are eternal.
Truth is the way out of hell.
I's very important to realize that when you separated from God, it was completely deliberate. There wasn't any victimhood involved prior to this. It was a very clear choice. And no matter how it was experienced as unwanted after that decision, it was completely deliberate from the start.
Without even beginning to get into what happened after the separation, realize that you had a 'plan', a reason, a goal and a desire, which you were attempting to achieve by separating from God.
You wanted to find out what it would be like to be separate from Him. To put it simply, you wanted to PRETEND that it was possible to be something you are not, to be independent, to have your own self-made identity, and to exist without God. This was not possible to actually do at all, so you were basically pretending to make-believe that it was possible. This was your original purpose for the ENTIRE dream of separation, regardless of its content.
This original purpose, this reason for separating, has absolutely stayed with you the entire time that you've been inside the separation idea. No matter what you may experience or feel or perceive within the dream, you still have your mind basically FIXATED on trying to achieve what you set out to achieve from the beginning. It is why you came into the dream to begin with.
In the biggest possible picture, from beginning to end, the whole purpose for your dream is to try to imagine what it would be like to be completely the opposite of God. And that basically means, you have a death wish. It is only a wish, which cannot really be fulfilled, but nevertheless, underneath every single experience you have 'inside' the dream, there is a constant drive to move towards death. And make no mistake, this drive is very ACTIVE and DELIBERATE and PURPOSEFUL, and it overrides all other wishes and decisions and intentions.
You see death as an appealing doorway, the pinnacle of the dream, its culmination, in which your seemingly new identity will suddenly be born into an entirely separate existence. You see death as an achievement, as the way in which you make it "actually possible and real" to be separate from God. Only by completely obliterating (from your awareness anyway) your Real Identity, and Life, can you finally seem to achieve an identity that God did not create.
So let's put aside absolutely every OBJECTION that you have to dying, because the fact is, right from the start of your journey toward death, you have ABSOLUTELY WANTED IT. It doesn't matter what else comes along to seemingly distract you. It doesn't matter how horribly you might suffer along the way. It doesn't matter how terrified you are of this death, or what seems to happen to bring it about. No matter how much you kick and scream and say you do not want it, your attraction to death is EVEN STRONGER than every other possible 'wish' you can imagine.
You would not sacrifice your ultimate goal - your plan to succeed in completely becoming the opposite of Life. You will allow absolutely anything else to happen if it means you can inch closer to it. You could be absolutely horrified by death and want to get as far away from it as possible, AND YET, at the same time, somewhere in your mind there is still a DEATH WISH, an overruling desire to get as far away from God as possible. This is the ENTIRE PURPOSE of your entire dream - to experiment with what it might be like to completely separate from Him. Everything else is inconsequential and less important to you.
So you see, the Son of God is playing with illusions, imagining outcomes, dreaming of dying, and wants to play with the idea of complete and total separation. It's not really possible for Him to be hurt by this, because it is not real. It's not really possible for Him to REALLY die. All He can do is pretend to die, to make-believe that He has, and to put on a really great SHOW within His dream, that makes it LOOK LIKE he did not choose it.
See, death, and suffering, and fear, and guilt, and sin, all require that you appear to relinquish your power of choice. They are all ways in which you give up responsibility for choosing, or at least, ways to HIDE the fact that YOU ARE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF. The entire purpose of every sin, every guilt, every fear, every punishment, and all death, is to PRETEND that you do not want what is happening. It is all part of 'not wanting' God - you use very intense 'not wanting' as a way to push God away, meaning that very strongly not wanting death is actually your attempt to bring a complete separation into being. Death is you pushing God away, on purpose.
So you use all of these DENIALS in order to make the ILLUSION that everything that you are has been taken away from you, denied, repressed, disowned. The ultimate expression of this denial is death - death is just a denial of Life, and not its actual removal. You are trying to deny that you will live forever. You can deny this quite well, but you cannot make it true.
So even though it seems very upsetting to be terrified, or guilty, or ashamed, or sinful, or to suffer, or to be sick and diseased, and indeed to die, even though all these things seem like something you do not want, underneath them all there is a deliberate decision TO WANT all of these things and TO MAKE THEM HAPPEN to you. Even if that seems insane, which it is, you want to die to fulfill the entire purpose of separation.
So you will feel guilty and it will feel like something you don't want to feel, yet which you've accepted that someone ELSE has decided you are guilty, SO THAT you can disown and hide the fact that you are deliberately choosing to be guilty, in order to help you towards your goal. And every time you are afraid, even though fear seems like you're experiencing something you absolutely do not want to be happening, secretly YOU DO, because so long as you are afraid you get to be a victim and you get to disown your power.
It is easy to feel sorry for anyone who seems to have sinned, or who feels terrible about what they did to God. It is easy to feel sorry for anyone who is experiencing guilt or shame. It is easy to feel sorry for someone who is afraid. It is especially easy to feel sorry for someone who is experiencing punishment, suffering or sickness. And it is ESPECIALLY easy to feel sorry for someone who SEEMS to be dying and who then eventually dies. THIS IS ON PURPOSE.
You are MEANT to feel sorry for all of these roles, because their appearance shows you that these people are NOT CHOOSING THIS, and you especially believe this the most strongly about death. Death is the ultimate `non-choice`, in which the person has so completely given up on life (God) that they sort of 'surrender' to death, becoming completely powerless and passive, absolutely incapable of stopping it, and then death 'happens to them'. And secretly, they are absolutely CELEBRATING that they've finally achieved the most extreme form of separating from God that's possible - short of actually doing it.
So yes, I feel like shit when I feel guilty, BUT, my guilt is secretly serving me by allowing me to justify moving further away from God. And even if I feel like i don't like this guilt and don't want it, I secretly do want it, very much. It allows me to maintain the illusion that *I* did not choose this guilt, and that I am guilty because of someone else. This way, I get to disown and hide and conceal responsibility for the fact that it was actually ME who decided to be guilty, and it was not put upon me by anyone.
See we have this very long STORY that we've told about WHY we have to be away from God... it's all to do with believing that God kicked us out of Heaven, that we sinned, that we really did it, and then we HAD to be guilty, and then we HAD to be punished, and then we HAD to die. We actually believe that God wants us dead, and that it is God's will that we die, and that if we go along with this will then we're somehow atoning for sin. It's bullshit, but deep down we believe in it, BECAUSE it's a story that justifies all of our decisions to go from sin to guilt to fear to punishment to death.
Don't be deceived by the appearance that just because you are afraid, or guilty, or suffering in some way, that you did not choose it. Don't be deceived into thinking that what you want MORE THAN ANYTHING is for this fear and guilt and suffering to end. You don't. It's not what you want the most. What you want the most is to fulfill your mission, your dream, your imagining, or what it's like to be dead. That's all. You want to be dead. And the only thing you REALLY want more than death is God. Death is meant to COVER UP your attraction to God, because without covering it up you wouldn't be able to believe that separation is possible or that God has become separate from you.
So you see this is all really a great big farce... that we ourselves are choosing and putting into place. We keep pretending that God and others are there to choose for us, and to 'make us' go through suffering. We keep claiming that the body does stuff to us on its own, and that we have no power over anything. We keep maintaining this story that death is going to inevitably come and therefore we have to just lay down and take it. But this is ALL OUR OWN MADE UP STORY. We're very conveniently PRETENDING that this is al someone else's doing, because this is the only way that death can seem to be possible. We can't die while we have a choice, and we can't die while we are aware that we're the one who is making ourselves seem to die.
So always keep this in mind. If you want to get really honest and purify and look past the illusion of a guilt that seems horrible, or an unworthiness that you think is genuine, or a sin that you think is true, or some horrible experience that you think you didn't want,... think again. Think again, otherwise you really WILL remain lost in your illusion with no way out. Unless you can admit to yourself that you have chosen this, and that you have done ALL of this to yourself, you will have no power. Or at least, you will keep hiding your power from yourself.
You are a child of God. You are unlimited. You are immortal. You are invulnerable. You are powerful. And you are just PRETENDING to be separate from God, like a child playing with illusions, make-believing a long drawn-out story of the how and why of it all happening. But really deep down underneath it, you know that it is not real and you know it is not really possible. So you keep pretending. Until you are done pretending, and want to own up to the fact that it is you that is doing all this, it's your dream, you're the one making it all happen, and then maybe it will lose its appeal. Just like a toy, you will put it aside and remember to laugh. Because really nothing has happened at all.
If someone wants to hate, they have every right to. Why would you want to stop them?
It seems a popular reaction to just say, they should stop hating, because hating is wrong and if they hate they are guilty.
But they do have free will and if they want to hate that is their freedom to do so.
The bigger question is, does that hate actually have any power to cause someone to be changed against their will.
And this is where we get into who is responsible for causation, who has the power, and who owns the effects.
The secret of salvation would say you can ONLY ever do anything to yourself. So it is possible that someone else's hate can actually do anything to you? Not if you don't USE it to do so.
So then it becomes a matter of, not stopping other people from hating, but becoming immune to their hate.
Ultimately then you're supposed to become invulnerable and immortal, no longer shifting blame and responsibility for your happiness onto others, or expecting them to treat you a certain way.
If you are being responsible for everything you feel and experience, then someone else trying to hate is not a cause of you, and cannot cause you to be hurt.
So then, should they stop hating? Should they stop because you want them to choose for you, because you want them to give you what you want, and because you are manipulating them?
You should let them carry on hating, and instead of teaching that you are vulnerable and weak and easily at the effect of the world, you should teach that you are invulnerable and nothing in the world can affect you.
As the course says, show your brother that you had no hurt of him. It doesn't matter what anyone does even if it seems vicious, it can have no effect on you unless you fail to recognise this is your dream.
And the secret of salvation tells you that no-thing affects you but yourself. You can be attacked by nothing but your own thoughts. Only the self-accused condemn.
So instead of seeing it as hate, with a power capable of actually hurting you, you need to change how you see it and recognize that is it really the other person hating themselves.
It doesn't have anything to do with you. Their attempted attack is self-attack. They are trying to make you responsible for their happiness and wellbeing. They want you to change in order for them to feel better.
That is sickness, just as it would be sickness to react to them in the same way, by wanting them to change in order to make you feel better.
What you really want to be doing is realising that hate cannot apply to you because you are innocent and holy, and therefore their accusation of hate must be incorrect, and something to laugh at.
Then you are strong and not weak, you are certain and not vulnerable. And the attempts by others to hate you has no effect.
You can then recognize that their hate is simply them hating themselves and trying to destroy themselves, while trying to get you to decide for them whether they are loveable or not.
So decide for them that they are loveable and it will dissolve the impact of the hate and make them look at themselves.
The solution to being hated isn't to try to control the haters or to stop them hating or make them wrong for doing so. It's to realize that they are mistaken and what they claim is not true.
Only that can be sanity, not reacting on the basis of believing there is truth to what they say, or by positioning yourself as a victim. Hate is just an attempt to disown and project guilt, having attacked ourselves and hated ourselves first. That's what needs healing, not the projections.
If you react to hate and try to stop and control it, you are also being hateful. You hate hate. That's no better. You have to love hate if you want to be unaffected by it.
Let them hate. Know that it is not the truth of you.
"Hear not the call of hate, and see no fantasies. For your completion lies in truth, and NOWHERE ELSE. See in the call of hate, and in every fantasy that rises to delay you, but the call for help, that rises ceaselessly from you to your Creator."
To ego, "having a self" seems to be what it's all about. This suggestion that ego is a "self you made" or some kind of a thing.
But this is actually completely backwards.
The ego is actually the idea of the END OF YOURSELF. It is a DENIAL OF SELF. It is an attempt to DISOWN YOURSELF.
What then "looks like" the formation of a fake self, a lying self, a self built from imaginary images, is in fact the opposite of what that illusion suggests.
It's not that the "ego exists" and you have to undo it, thus throwing out all "individuality" along with it.
The ego IS NOT INDIVIDUALITY. The ego is the END OF INDIVIDUALITY, masquerading as the illusion of "self" being created. This is because the Son of God is dreaming that He created Himself, which requires the SUPPRESSION of HIS SELF using denial.
So the ego is not a self. The ego is the ANTITHESIS of self. The ego is ISOLATION away from Self. The ego is the collapsing of identity, the undoing of what God created, and the attempted DESTRUCTION of Self.
So for anyone to say, well, if you wake up from the ego you will no longer have a self... they have not seen through the ego's lie. Waking up means you REGAIN YOURSELF, you RETURN TO YOUR REAL SELF, you RECLAIM your individuality, you RESTORE AWARENESS that you have always existed. The only thing that "ends" is the fiction that you do NOT exist as God created you.
So don't buy this EGO IDEA that waking up or returning to oneness will make "you" cease to exist. That is the EGO TALKING. *IT* will cease to exist, in the sense that, it always was the idea of not existing, and the idea of NOT EXISTING will end, to be replaced with the awareness that YOU DO EXIST.
So this fictional fuck-off idea of "you have no self", masquerading as spirituality, masquerading as nonduality or acceptance of oneness. It is UTTER BULLSHIT. It is an ego-driven lie.
You are NOT going to end when you wake up. YOU are going to WAKE UP to HAVING A SELF. A self which is driven by love, designed by love, and filled with love. A self which wants to SHARE AND EXTEND ITSELF, in order to exist. A self which is REAL and is PART of GOD.
You, who God created, as permanent, to exist forever, as one of His many sons, as part of his sonship, will ALWAYS EXIST, have always existed, and ALREADY HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.
All this other "you'll stop existing" bullshit is EGO FEAR and a device to turn you away from God and deny His creation. That is not spirituality, it is a lie. Getting rid of yourself is suicide and sacrifice!
God created you. God loves you.
The ego always has an ulterior motive, a secret agenda, and a hidden plan that it would hide from you while it lies to your face.
Or rather, while you lie to yourself.
When the ego says you are afraid, it makes out that you're not choosing to be afraid, and that someone else is the cause. This isn't true. Secretly it wants to be afraid so that it can scapegoat someone and displace its own guilt onto others.
When the ego says you are guilty, it makes out that someone else has found you guilty and that there's nothing you can do about it. This isn't true. Secretly this belief in guilt is a choice that you're doing to yourself, you're the one who decided to be guilty, and you are doing so that you might keep your plan to be a separate individual.
When the ego says you have sinned, it tries to claim that this is because of something you really did, but this isn't true. Secretly you know that you cannot sin and did not do anything wrong, but are making out that you did, because you want to be sinful, so that you can continue your plan to be separate from God. Even if being sinful seems like a horrible experience, this horrible experience is 'worth it' if it means you can inch closer to death.
Death is your ultimate goal because it's through deaths doorway that you imagine you can finally escape from God's wrath and be born into a new reality where you are completely independent of God and have no need for Him. You hold this in your sights at all times, regardless of what seems to be happening or why, secretly planning on death every step of the way. Even if it means seeming to have to suffer sinfulness, or guilt, or fear, or punishment. Because there is always this secret ego agenda of self-destruction.
These secrets are all a part of denial, which is your attempt to deny that you are deliberately trying to die, or that you deliberately want to be a separate identity. You use denial to disown the choice you keep making for death, and to pretend that you're inching along toward it against your will, and driven by forces outside your control. To suggest you are not doing this to yourself is denial, and you layer denial upon denial upon denial to try to bring about a complete suppression of yourself, so that you can pretend to be someone else.
All along the way, we maintain and keep these special secrets. They are the secret truth that we are really doing this all to ourselves. It's the secret that we don't want to be revealed, because if we were to own up to it and be responsible, the illusions we're making which create the appearance that we're unwillingly being dragged to the grave, would be totally blown. We wouldn't be able to believe our own self-deception if we were to admit that we were the one choosing every single part of this.
And so sin, and guilt, and fear, and punishment, and suffering, and death, are all things we're choosing on purpose, because we see death as the way to achieve independence from God. It's what we've wanted all along, and we constantly pretend that we DON'T want it, SO THAT we can have it. Choosing to appear to have no choice, is a choice to have no choice, which is a choice to choose to die. Choosing to be afraid, choosing to be guilty, choosing to suffer, but claiming and making the illusion that this is absolutely nothing to do with what we want. Bullshit.
Secrets and lies, secrets and lies. How about some honest owning up to being powerful, immortal, invulnerable and not a victim?
I've been having a lot of deep insight lately about cause and effect and taking back my power, so I want to share some more on this. This may be a little lengthy so bear with me.
When we think of a victim we're usually talking about something negative. Someone does something to a person that they do not want. An enemy attacks, someone calls a name, someone judges, something happens to someone seemingly against their will, producing the effect of suffering.
And then we think that the things that don't do this, are not negative, or there's nothing wrong with it. Such as, feeling that a certain person is the love of your life, or having a special friend, or someone makes you happy and makes you laugh, or there's a favourite place you like to go to, or a place you call home because you like it more than other places.
You like these things, enjoy these things, want these things, "love" (conditionally) these things, because they seem to "cause you positively." They do things to you that you seem to prefer. You have needs, you have lacks, you have shortcomings, and these people or things seem to make up for it, they seem to do for you what you can't do etc. You seem to need them. They are the "other half" of you.
But the problem then comes when the person goes away, they die, they fail in some way to give you what you want or need. Or you leave a favourite place, or you break up with a person, or you lose a favourite possession or whatever. Given that your mind has become dependent on these things, it now suffers, and it flips into "special hate".
That is, the ego now sees itself as a NEGATIVE victim, instead of a positive one. The things you depended on are now seeming to turn against you and cause you pain. The people that you loved and cared for are now, in their absence, the seeming source of loss and misery. You might even feel angry at them. Special hate especially comes out AS hate if the person turns from favoured friend to an enemy, and seems to outright attack you.
What I've been realising is that when I attribute CAUSE to something outside of myself, it doesn't matter whether it seems to be positive or negative, wanted or unwanted, if I give it causal POWER OVER ME, to cause me something, I'm on a slippery slope and am now gambling in highly risky ego territory. I'm now striking a deal, doing a bargain, forming a special relationship, in which I prefer to get something out of it that I want or need. I have become dependent on something external, and don't want to let the dependancy go.
When the mind is giving POWER to someone or something to cause you in some way, that's a double-edged sword. If they comply, you might think you are happy, and for a while they seem to "do something to you" that you like. Whether it be making you happy, causing you to laugh, giving you good feelings even, making you love them more, paying your bills, whatever. They are the chosen one. The best person you ever met.
But at the same time there is tremendous risk, and likelihood, that at some point this will stop, and you will suddenly feel deprived and neglected and ignored and lost and very unhappy. Because if they are not there to do what you have become dependent on them to do, you will revert to deprivation and suffering.
I've seen that this reversal of cause and effect, this giving of POWER to someone else or to some thing else, to have power over you in some way - positively OR negatively - results in your mind becoming DEPENDENT on that thing. This dependency, is what some people, buddhists for example, would call "attachment."
It produces a sense of holding on, identifying with, of DEPENDING ON someone or something outside of you, as though you lean on it, you need it, you are hooked into it like it's a part of yourself. Like you plug your mind in, you form cords or bridges of energetic and emotional attachment, you build inroads mentally, which feels literally like being attached and "connected" in some way. In a special way, which passes for "relationship". And indeed this can feel like special love, as much as it can feel like having a nemesis when the power is given to an enemy.
This dependency results from reversing cause and effect, disowning responsibility, claiming that you have no power to choose anything, suppression of your will, projection of cause and will and power and responsibility onto someone or something else. It's then like you've struck a deal, where this person or thing has power OVER you (always with your consent), and the bargain terms entitle them to some kind of "hold over you", like, there's a string attached. A conditional-love relationship.
Somehow they have some rights, some say in it, some POWER, some logical power, which entitles them to have some control over you. And what they say or do goes, and you cannot but be affected by it. And you feel bound and artificially joined and like they own you in some way, like you're a pet on a leash. And so long as you maintain the belief that they have your power, using it over you, even if its in ways that you seem to want or that seem positive and loving, it's still an egoic special relationship because cause and effect are backwards. It's a relationship of false/backwards perceptions.
And it still feeds the role you're playing of being "a victim" - someone who is AFFECTED BY something other than themselves. ie, that you are preferring to live by being AFFECTED BY someone or something, rather than proactively choosing and taking responsibility for what you feel and experience. So long as the thing, the person, the place, the object etc, is regarded as something that you WANT to have the POWER to CAUSE you, in some way, you will see yourself as a victim of them when they eventually fail to follow through. And now sunsets turn into thunderstorms.
If they die, you are up shit creek, because you need them, you want them, you depend on them to be or do something for you, something that you were not doing for yourself. They were responsible for your happiness, they were the cause of your well-being, they were looking after you, making your life better, giving you something that you seemed to be unable to find unless someone outside of you sourced it. You even thought of them as a parent to you in some way, because they were the cause of you.
What i've seen now is that for example when someone you love dies, or you leave a home, or some other big change where something that you had SPECIAL LOVE for stops being there, you're going to experience "loss". Your ego is going to go into a negative victim role, it's going to see itself deprived and hurt and rejected, lost and alone, lacking and in need, and it's going to create a lot of emotional pain and wallow in the misery of powerlessness, and in weakness and sickness. And it's going to feel like there's been a big terrible loss because the external thing that you believe you NEED in order to be happy has gone. And it will feel that even part of your own self is gone.
It's not really loss about the person or thing, or really to do with the fact that they've left. The loss is caused by the continued "relationship" psychologically in which you see them as the cause of you. The same "power" you gave them to cause your happiness, is still being given to them, and that means that when they fail to give the happiness to you, you will be unhappy. And the more power you gave them to do this, the worse it will feel. THAT is the cause of grief - not getting what you want. And the ego will pout and cry and feel like a child that isn't getting what it wants.
The attachment. The dependency. The depending on something external. The seeking for the source of love, or even of your SELF, outside of yourself instead of finding it within. The unwillingness to own the power and the love within, resulting in a projection and disowning of it, such that when the person providing the love leaves, you're left empty handed with your own lack of inner love. And then you are in sorrow because you're empty and miserable without their "help." And you feel lost and don't know who you are anymore because part of your identification has died.
The secret of salvation says that you are doing this to yourself. So yes, it means that you are unhappy because you have given your power away, and are using the relationship to disempower yourself. If you are in this "unholy" relationship with someone or something, where you are "getting" something from it that you believe you lack inside, or NEED from the person, you're not going to be happy long-term. As soon as they leave, you're screwed, because now there's no-one to fill the shoes that you keep handing over to be filled.
When you admit to this and own the power, taking back the power you gave TO these things to cause your happiness, now you are correcting the REAL problem. The real problem isn't the loss or the change in life events, it's the "seeking and not finding" love outside yourself. It's wanting some external person or thing or place to love you, be there for you, reassure you, give something to you. It's essentially you being dependent and irresponsible, and it's you trying to disown your power. You have loss because you think YOU lack something, something you gave away.
When you take that power back, and own the responsibility, and see yourself as CAUSE, no longer regarding the person or thing as the "cause of" what you feel, or what you experience, this then uproots the entire ego thought system and the dynamic that generates the suffering. If you are causal, no one else can CHANGE YOU or influence you or make you feel something or alter your experience. And that is spiritual because it means you are owning up to the powerful being that you really are - a being with NO NEEDS.
You CANNOT be ANY KIND of victim if you are empowered, if you are responsible, if you have owned the CAUSE of your suffering. Because the cause of your suffering is NOT the absence of the person or thing, it's your SELF ATTACK, in which you are giving your power away and using it to hurt yourself. The only way to end the negative consequences of victimhood, is to also end the so-called "positive consequences". You do NOT want your happiness to be depending on anyone or anything other than God who IS ITS SOURCE.
When you take that power and causation back and own it, you are not only undoing the attachment, you are undoing the dependency, you are undoing the neediness and lack, you are undoing both forms of victimhood, and are reclaiming your INDEPENDENCE. Your freedom from suffering is literally a choice. You choose to stop giving your power away to people and things that are not supposed to have power over you. Not even the good people, not even the friends, not even the family, not even the beloved partners, husbands or wives. You can have a far healthier relationship still but without the conditions and dependent needs.
Moving OUT of that specialness, that dependency, that power game, that subtle positive victimhood, that neediness, that irresponsibility, that insecurity, is a movement towards a holy relationship. A holy relationship with yourself and others, in which you no longer are trying to have an egoic specialness as the foundation for "what they mean to you" or "what they do to you." You stop playing the negative victim, AND the positive victim, and stop trying to get your needs met from outside of yourself. God and your reclaiming of the inheritance which God has given you is all you need for that.
I can say that realising this is very freeing, empowering, and does for me seem to be greatly reducing the sense of loss that I've been having for months. I cannot suffer if I do not choose to do so. I am ruler of the universe, master of my destiny. Nothing happens to me without my consent. I cannot suffer or be hurt unless I do it to myself. And the only way I can do something to myself is to disown my power and try to get someone else to do something to me, for me. Do I want to be a slave to someone or something else deciding for me if I am happy, or will I choose to own the power and the happiness that God has given me already?
What it claims is that if you will not say certain things, or do certain things, other people will be less hurt and less offended and less victimized. And that therefore, this is more loving and supportive.
This is not true.
What is really happening is that we're saying that people are affected by what is happening outside of them, that events and words and people's actions cause them harm, that they are therefore vulnerable, offendable, hurtable. And that therefore, because they are hurtable, we must aim to not hurt them.
But this completely assumes that it's true, normal, and natural for people to be hurtable. People are not hurtable. Someone who believes they are hurtable are in denial of their immortality. They are being a victim. They are scapegoating and blaming. They are putting responsibility for their life and their happiness into the hands of other people, in an attempt to disown themselves, to BE irresponsible, and to MAKE other people guilty.
If what I say offends someone, that's their fault. If what you say offends someone, that's their fault. If you are offended by what someone else says, that's your fault. It means you are secretly and not so obviously being irresponsible, are projecting ownership and blame for your existence onto others, are holding other people accountable for your happiness, are requiring and controlling other people to be a certain way in order to "make your ego happy", which means you are trying to get your way. It is manipulative, deceitful and controlling.
So what actually ends up happening, is that if someone avoids saying a particular word or doing a particular thing in order to not displease you, ie to please you, this is the ego persona at work. The persona tries to get rid of all unpleasant things by chopping out parts of yourself that it disapproves of, which eventually will leave nothing left, and is actually an attempt to destroy you. People pleasing is suicide.
So while on the surface it might seem like, well, we're being kind, we're taking other people's needs into consideration, we're placating, we're being gentle, we're trying to have compassion, we're understanding other people's insecurities, etc... all well and good, but this isn't AS good for people as to get them to be more responsible for their own existence. If it's up to me to change my expressions in order to not offend someone who is particularly touchy about certain subjects, then who really has the problem? Its the person who is touchy about the subject. They're actually playing a victim game, are projecting fault onto me, are trying to get me to change to satisfy their agenda, and they want me to stop being a certain way so that they can be justified in defending their beliefs.
If we're all going to 'get along' harmoniously, it is only going to happen when everyone grows up and takes full responsibility for everything they are experiencing, even if its fear or guilt or offense or hurt or whatever. It's each person's responsibility. And never is your life anyone else's responsibility. And nobody else is to blame for making you upset. If you want that, go ahead... it will make you weak and even more afraid and vulnerable to believe that.
So ultimately "PC" turns you into a victim. It attacks your invulnerability. It assumes that you are affected by the world and that therefore, as part of the world, everyone else has to tone down what they are doing to you. It's entirely based around a victim mentality. It strips people of their power. It actually disempowers people. It also makes everyone be in DENIAL. You are in denial of yourself because you're trying to not show all of yourself to others, and everyone else is in denial because they want to keep pretending you are responsible for their reactions.
It doesn't make people happier, because all it means is you are not being AUTHENTIC or HONEST toward them, and are baby'ing them, and are placating them and putting on a facade for them, likely in order for YOU to "not get hurt" through your own victimhood. So PC is really invented by victims, for victims, to continue victimization, and has NOTHING to do with helping people to be stronger or more powerful or less hurt or more respected. The ego wants to be respected, because it is disrespectful.
Yes if someone is upset, it may be compassionate to comfort and be gentle with them and empathize and help support them. But what is support REALLY? Support means also reminding them that all the reasons they are upset are not real or true, that they are actually victimizing themselves, that they are doing this all to themselves, that they can become much more empowered by owning up to this, and that there is a better way than to see themselves as affected by someone.
Is political correctness love? No. It's an ego agenda of misery and victimization and inescapable vulnerability. It worships suffering, it perpetuates fear, and destroys people.
Suck on that whether you like it or not.
When you feel angry at someone and believe they are guilty, you will also feel afraid of them. And you will find that behind this fear, YOU feel guilty for some reason. You feel guilty because you have attacked this person with your mind. And you attacked "them" in trying to get rid of the guilt that arose from your self-attack.
You will also find that this idea that you have of them in your mind, this picture, of some kind of monster that you hate, is not really THEM. It's not the person. It's actually a separate image that you've invented which you hate. You hold this image up and hate IT, but it's not really targeted at the person. You see IT, INSTEAD of them, and it blinds you to their light.
"Who sees a brother's body has laid a JUDGMENT on him, and sees him not. He does not REALLY see him as sinful; he does not see him at all. In the darkness of sin, he is INVISIBLE. He can but be IMAGINED in the darkness, and it is here that the illusions you hold about him are NOT held up to his reality."
Images of guilty people in your mind STAND IN FOR the actual people, which you project ONTO them and think you see IN them. You aim your guilt at this image and you try to destroy it, thinking it is the person, because the image blinds you. You cannot see past it. So you see it instead of them. And while you think you are hating them, you are not really.
In truth, this guilty monster in your mind, your so-called enemy, which comes up every time you think you're thinking of that person, is really just a way that you're separating off YOUR OWN GUILT, and holding it within your own mind, and trying to destroy it. It's part of how you are attacking yourself.
You think you're finding this other person to be guilty, and that the hate is directed NOT at you, but it really is. "Ideas leave not their source", nor does the guilt leave your mind. You are just dissociated, which means your mind is splitting apart and your sense of identity has broken away from this guilty part of you.
To forgive, you have to actually work on forgiving this "idea" of the person, this image that you have of them. It's not really anything to do with the ACTUAL person. It's this overlay that you've put together and built up, a case against them, a frame around them, in which you PICTURE them as guilty and wrong.
This picturing, this projection of guilt, needs to be healed. It's actually your mind that needs the healing. You need to forgive this IMAGE of the person, by seeing light and goodness and innocence in it, giving the imagined person credit, letting them off the hook, seeing what they've done that deserves praise and worthiness. Because you're actually talking about your own self here, a part of YOU that you find guilty.
As you work on this, undoing your false PICTURES of people, which look like other people, but are actually PARTS OF YOU, you are forgiving yourself. You only really need to forgive yourself. It's your mind that has guilt and has become split apart, and needs reintegrating. It's nothing to do with these other actual people out there, you just have used them to form faulty interpretations, and it is the INTERPRETATION of them that you hate.
You need to forgive the images of guilty people that are in your mind, because it's really YOUR MIND that needs forgiveness. Those images are NOT those people, they are stand-ins, and just take on the form of those people while being PARTS OF YOU. Thus you forgive yourself by forgiving "them", by giving these split-off personalities/identities innocence and guiltlessness, so that YOU become guiltless and forgiven.
"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING. The reason, however, may not be as clear to you as you think. What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
In your whole mind, there is a split mind. It's kind of an artificial mind. It's made of illusions. It's a mental construct which blocks awareness by fooling you into thinking it is not all the same identity.
This split mind comprises two parts. One of the parts you are conscious of and you think is your entire self. You've identified with it.
The other part you are mostly unconscious of, having shut it out and pushed it out of awareness. You think that part is not yourself. You do not recognize it as you. And you project it onto/as 'others' to disown it.
The illusion is maintained so long as you are convinced that these two parts are separate, different, unrelated, and not one self. That means you fall for the illusion, the appearance, and the stories each has, that seems to suggest they're not `one`.
The best way to create that illusion is to set them against each other in a war of conflict, which makes them seem like enemies, or opposed to each other, as though they have absolutely nothing in common. This is a deception.
When you do not realize the two selves are part of one self, you are inside the illusion. You've bought into it. And you've identified with one part as your 'self'.
Awakening happens when you look more closely at the illusions which make it seem like these two selves are in fact separate.
Those illusions include any idea of victimhood or victimization, any idea of denial or blame or scapegoating, any irresponsibility or disowning of responsibility, any way in which you reject or judge or abandon yourself, etc. All forms of separation and attack. All of these attack ideas must be questioned.
What then happens is you realize that the 'other' that you thought was not you, IS a part of you. Anything you are experiencing IS chosen by you. And therefore, since you are the 'other' as well as the 'self', you have been doing all of these attacks to yourself. This is the key to salvation/awakening.
You have to get to where you can see that you are playing both sides of the experience. You are both the victim and the victimizer. You are both the attacker and the attacked. You are both the person running away and the person chasing.
And then you will see that both of these 'identities' both have a story. One of them (persona) has a sob-story about how it's just trying to be good and how the other (shadow) keeps attacking it. And the shadow has a story about how it's got nothing to do with the persona and wants to destroy its fake image. You need to look at both stories and realize, both stories are an illusion. The entire purpose of the notion that these two identities are 'separate' is to convince you that your Self - your identity - does not encompass both of them.
You are both of the parts of the split mind. Both of the false identities are within you. And this is where you have an aha moment of awakening. If both of these selves are within you, and if you are literally doing stuff to your 'self' ie you are making the shadow self do stuff to the persona self and vice versa, then you will realize that it is an ILLUSION that they are two separate identities. They are not separate selves. They are part of your ONE self.
Once your sense of self encompasses and is responsible for both of them, the illusion and story of each will be blown. You will see through it and recognize it is a deception. They're not really separate enemies after all, they're both you! And that means you see the sameness and oneness and unity of your identity. Your one self, rather than your dualistic selves. And overlooking (forgiving) these illusions of separation leads you directly to seeing your singularity, your wholeness. The oneness - singleness - of your identity. This is where you awaken.
You awake to a sense of self which encompasses all of the parts that you used to think were separate selves. And you therefore transcend all of those separate selves. You transcend the persona and the shadow. You see through the illusion that you were 'only' one small part of the contents of your mind - the illusion that you were the construct of a separate portion of mind (e.g. intellect). Seeing the oneness of the two becoming one, unifies you and reveals to you the true self.
You are whole, you are inclusive, you are unified, you are one self, you are not a split mind, you are not multiple personalities, you are not at war with your own self, you are not attacking yourself, you are singular, you are 'individual' not multiplicative, you are innocent and holy. Holiness means whole. Simply, awareness of this - experiencing it, is awakening. Letting go of separate selves and returning to one self.
All sickness, all death, all upsets, all war, all destruction, all horrors, all terror, all guilt, all fear, all hatred, all deception, all darkness and all insanity, are all stemming from one place.
You.
They are coming out of you, because you are expressive and creative, but a part of your mind has become inverted, turned inside out. Everything that flows through this obstruction takes on opposite meaning, as though having asked for a flower, you had asked for an army.
All sickness that befalls you is also coming from you. You are choosing it, but you do not see how you are choosing it, and so you are "tempted" to believe that it is being caused by make-believe causes outside of you. Fictional enemies and forces beyond control seem to conspire against you, as you describe the world as a danger and perceive it as unsafe.
Every fearful, angry or upsetting reaction that you experience, you are putting into yourself. You create it with your own mind. You do not create it in response to an external threat. It accompanies the threat, and you create both of them simultaneously. A mind which pictures an external threat must believe it is in danger and must experience fear or reactions of horror, and as such the mind then manifests not only the danger but the reaction to it. Both of them are chosen by you.
Every single blame that you've ever made towards other people, events, circumstances, life, God, nature, the neighbor's dog, the weather, whatever, absolutely NONE of those things are really the cause of any of what you have experienced.
If we are going to really strip this ego down and take a firm look at the truth, then we're at some point going to have to realize that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO US. Nobody who we have accused of causing us ANYTHING has ever been the true cause of that experience. Nothing that we have ever claimed as having happened TO US, has ever really been the cause of anything at all. We are adept at finding blame and projection for every sin all over the place, left right and center, and in every place other than within ourselves. "We but accuse our brother of our OWN sin.' ACIM
You can only be a victim if you perceive that there is ONE, EVEN JUST ONE case of something outside of you doing something to you. It is enough for your mind to invert and perceive causality as outside of you, and effects of that cause inside of you. Reactions are nothing but you producing effects WITHIN which were meant to be WITHOUT, as a result of this reversal of cause and effect, and you experiencing effects makes you suffer. You make yourself suffer.
Nobody has EVER done anything to you. This is the testimony that Jesus wants us to be able to express, not just in words or ideas but to actually live it, and to experience it, and to express it, such that we are actually IMMORTAL, completely immune to everything, unable to be destroyed or harmed or upset whatsoever. And to demonstrate this is to show that it has been learned.
That entire huge list of all the people who did stuff to you over the years? It's all a lie.
You need to remove from your mind the aspect which is distorting your creative impulses. It inverts and reverses the intentions of what you would create, turning life into death. It is because of this ego distortion that you seem to create sickness out of nowhere and then, seeing not the cause of it, think that it was put there by some other force. Thus you then believe that the body can become sick on its own, or as the result of the environment. It is YOUR MIND that is making it sick and nothing else.
Therefore, you HAVE every capacity to bring about complete and total immortality, to reverse and undo every sickness, to overcome death, and to be completely free from every form of suffering. You already have this in you. And this power is already working and operating. But you are MISUSING IT, attempting to use it to create a world which is not real, to project a sense of sin onto causes that don't exist, to blame everyone but you for owning it, and to remain unaware of God's presence. Only sickness can result from distorted ideas about the truth.
This is why your mind needs to be corrected. There is NO OTHER CAUSE for your sickness but you. There is NO OTHER SOURCE of suffering but you. There is NO OTHER POWER greater than the power of God which you share in and extend freely, with unlimited supply. There is NO OTHER WILL other than God's will, which you also share entirely. And there is NO OTHER WAY TO LIVE besides extending His eternal life in every way.
It is time to let go of every accusation you have made, every sin you have tried to scapegoat onto someone else, every form of blame and projection, every judgement as though someone else chose for you, every effort to get other people to change so that you don't have to, and every attempt to disown who you are. You are God's beloved child, you are immortal, and you have no enemy.
Let yourself be lifted into the truth of being. This world is not real. You are not at the effect of causes separate from your own. And there is no reason to be afraid, for only love is real.
When you are in a mindset that tries to make the world real, it is a mindset of attempting to "make true" what is not really true.
It's the mindset of a seeker, or someone who is in denial of reality and wants to escape it. Such a mind will try to GIVE truth to an illusory world, to explain it, to describe it, to profess why and how it is true or what the truth of it is. Such a mind attempts to give a sense of reality and factuality to what is inherently unreal and artificial. Such a mind is not interested in giving up the world.
In such a mindset, you will be addicted to being the one who makes things true. Who gives reality to illusions. You will claim to be seeking the truth, but really you are not seeking the truth. You are trying to give the truth away, trying to displace it and pass it off and allocate it to something that is not true, so that it will not be recognizable.
Everyone with an ego is attempting to give the truth away. Trying to hand it over to untruth so that it is meaningless, and yet all done in the name of fervently seeking the truth. Such a mind tries to disown and give reality away, turning unreality into reality, in an attempt to deny that reality is real.
Being a truth maker means you are hell-bent on defining what the truth is, deciding what it is, and always having to have the truth be verified by your egoic understanding. Your so-called precious "opinion" is not worth anything. You're not really interested in what the truth IS, only in what YOU make of it. And so you are not really willing to accept or know the truth, only to REPLACE it with an interpretation of your own.
When there is a lack of surrender to the truth, or a lack of acceptance of its inescapable, predefined, absolute, factual nature, a person will exhibit many signs of seeking EXTERNALLY for the truth, and also signs of both deciding what is true and attempting to form a "complete picture" of the truth composed of their understanding.
They will attempt to exalt their ego to spiritual heights, claiming that they are accumulating or accessing the highest of truths, when in fact it is really the spiritualized ego attempting to create an ILLUSION of truth. Such illusions of truth can be difficult traps to avoid.
Much surrendering is needed in order to let go of all of the ways that you are trying to MAKE the truth be what you think it should be. You are trying to tell God what God is, to redefine Him in YOUR likeness. Your idea about what the truth is may not be what the truth is. Your "best guess" is not fact.
God is the truth and the truth about God is the only truth there is. There is no other truth. You cannot change this fact. There is nothing you can ever do to change this. Your only choice is either to accept it and share in it, OR to go into denial and pretend that something else is more true. Even if you can demonstrate to yourself clearly that something else is true - such as bodies or worlds - it still won't change the fact that you are still in DENIAL. You will remain in denial forever until you choose to accept God's truth.
God's truth cannot be defeated. It is immortal. It is everlasting. It is not up for question. It has no properties that waver or are undecided. It is permanently real and absolutely immovable. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change God's mind about you, and there is nothing you can do to ACTUALLY undo or harm God's reality. It is FIXED like a rock.
This is also fortunate, for you, because it means that even though you're in denial, and don't want to accept God's truth, preferring your own version of reality, once you do finally surrender and accept God's unequivocal truth, God will still be just the same as He ever was. The love will still be unconditional, God will still see you the same, God will still welcome and accept you fully without rejection, and not a single note in heaven's song will have been skipped.
Heaven's song hasn't skipped a note because the illusory separation from God did not interrupt Heaven, it merely attempted to replace it through denial, and being denial it was not ACTUALLY replaced at all, but merely blocked from awareness. Heaven is the same as ever and always will be, because God Created it in order for YOU to have an eternal home to return to, when you're done with your insane game of separation.
Give up your truth. Let God in. Let yourself be loved. Surrender your false beliefs in sin and guilt and fear and death. Only the truth is true. And because only the truth is true, nothing else can have ever happened but the truth. All else must be an illusion and must not exist. The permanence of God proves there can be no separation from reality. Your attempts to make up your own idea of the truth is an attempt to separate yourself from reality.
Still God loves you.
If you have not really sinned, you automatically have no reason to try to get rid of the responsibility for having sinned.
If you believe you HAVE really sinned, and believe in your own sinfulness, you will try to escape the EFFECTS of sin. Sin causes guilt, fear, punishment and death. It is condemning. That's a pretty big reason to want to escape those effects!
You will then find yourself PRETENDING that part of you is not yourself - that it is someone else. And then you will displace all of your SELF BLAME onto that part, disassociate your identity from it, and pretend that it belongs to a separate self.
You will attack this "not me" part of yourself and put all of your self condemnation onto it, accusing it and finding it sinful, berating it and hating it, like it's some kind of culprit, when in fact it's actually a part of yourself. This is self abuse. It's your "innocent persona" attacking and CREATING your "guilty shadow".
You will then overlay this hallucinated "other not self" on top of people, and believe that they are the ones who are guilty. You will think that your perception of this IN them, justifies you being angry AT them, and that therefore you SHOULD blame them for what you believe they are doing to YOU. Projection of your split mind onto others completes your ESCAPE PLAN.
But you are doing this all to yourself. And you're ONLY doing this because you believe you are really sinful. And because of that belief, you THINK that you can DENY that YOU YOURSELF believe in your own sinfulness, by hiding from it using denial, and then pretending that someone ELSE is the sinner.
It is simply clear that, if you did not believe that you are really sinful, yourself, you would have no NEED for denial, no NEED for a scapegoat, no NEED for disassociation, no NEED for projection onto "not me" (others), and you would not NEED to find other people guilty of YOUR OWN SINS. You would also not need to create persona at war with a shadow, and all that would remain is your REAL Self.
As Jesus teaches, "you but accuse your brother of your own sins." This is LITERALLY TRUE. You ONLY accuse your brother of your own belief that YOU are sinful. Your attempt to find someone else guilty is your secret belief that YOU are guilty. Your attempt to see someone as sinful is YOUR OWN BELIEF in YOUR OWN SINFULNESS, that you're trying to disown.
It is your OWN belief in your own sinfulness that you are trying to escape from. You want someone to take the blame for what YOU believe YOU really did! And that's the only reason why you are doing the denial/projectin/blame game at all. You have a vested interest in finding someone to take the blame FOR you, so that you can convince yourself you don't really hate yourself, even though deep down you STILL DO.
The answer to undoing this is obvious and simple.
1. ADMIT THAT *YOU* BELIEVE *YOU* ARE REALLY SINFUL
2. STOP BELIEVING THAT YOU ARE REALLY SINFUL AT ALL.
Where will be the need for denial, or a split mind, or a projection, or a persona being at war with a shadow, or scapegoating onto someone else then? You'll have absolutely no need to do so. And that also means, you will no longer have a DESIRE or a NEED to find other people sinful... you will not WANT to find them sinful, because doing so really means you are finding YOURSELF SINFUL! You cannot escape the effects of what you believe about yourself.
If you are not really sinful, because you did not REALLY sin, because sin is not REALITY, because nothing REALLY happened, then you MUST still be innocent. And only when you can accept that this is TRUE about you will you stop ATTACKING YOURSELF with the condemnation that you are a sinner. It is you doing this to yourself. It is your self attack, masquerading as an attack on others.
Nobody has ever attacked you, and you have never really attacked anyone else. You're incapable. You're just in a war with your OWN SELF, attempting to take sides WITHIN your own mind, attacking YOU, because YOU believe that you really sinned. And if you no longer are choosing to see YOURSELF as sinful, in all honesty, you will stop trying to see OTHERS as sinful and will stop splitting of fa part of your mind to house all of your self attack. Thus you will find others WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE, and you will be justified in loving them.
Real sin is the belief that separation REALLY happened, producing real consequences. If sin is not real, separation cannot have REALLY happened and you're still WITH God and exactly AS God created you. Innocent, holy, permanently forgiven, and completely WORTHY OF LOVE.
Once you are worthy of love, you are NOT worthy of sin or attack, and you will not feel that attack is JUSTIFIED, and you will STOP ATTACKING YOURSELF.
You are worthy of the love of God, and always will be. Once you stop WANTING to attack yourself through a belief in real sin, you will AUTOMATICALLY stop judging others and will desire to love them.
While you have "false perception", your mind is going to be split. It is not merely separated FROM the truth, it is separated WITHIN itself, divided against itself. The ego is a state of self conflict and contradiction. And that means there is disassociation, or two parts, where one part seems to be "you" and the other part seems to be "not you". When you have false perception you are "in two minds."
It will SEEM as though you are "separate from" this world, as a separate perceiver or some kind of bystander who just observes it. What is outside the body (split) seems to be "not you" and what is inside it seems to be you. Yet BOTH of them are in your mind, which has used the body as a separation device to split you from YOURSELF. In this state, you will think that your "illusions" are ONLY to do with your illusions ABOUT the "world that is separate from you", which seems to be objectively real.
However, the purpose of this split is to disown the fact that the whole PLANET is coming from YOUR MIND, and what is "out there" is literally just another part of YOUR MIND that you've disowned. You are the one who MADE IT, it is PART OF your false perception. "The world is false perception". And you cannot truly get to the recognition/perception that both "inside the body" and "the world out there" are BOTH in you, until you can undo enough of the disassociation. The world "out there" is your unconscious mind. The world "in here" seems to be your conscious mind. The division has to be undone.
The sense that "you are not the world" is the ego, hiding in a dream, associating "self" and "what I want" with "you in the body" and associating "what I don't want" with what's outside. When you dream at night, you create entire environments with buildings and streets and people. And it is your mind making all of it. But at the same time, your mind invents a body for you to inhabit inside of this environment, and puts your awareness into it, and makes you unconscious of the dreaming that is making the environment. And so you then perceive AS IF, you are ONLY that which is in the body, looking out upon a world that you think YOU DID NOT MAKE. Even though your mind is making EVERYTHING in the scene.
It is the same in the waking world. Earth. You SEEM to experience that you did not make the world, that it is too big and complex for you to put there yourself, that you are limited to the inside of your little body, and that everything outside the body is "not of you". You seem to have no control over it, no power to directly manipulate it with your mind, and it seems to do things "on its own". BUT THAT IS PART OF DREAMING. And it is in fact YOU, who is putting ALL of the environment there, and making the houses and streets and people. But you are not aware that your larger mind is DOING that because you've DISASSOCIATED from it and think you are just this tiny little crapper stuck in a body peering out and "perceiving" a world that you didn't make. Which leads you to believe that since you have disowned it (the other half of yourself), GOD must have created it. Which is a lie.
WHEN YOU WAKE UP to the truth, and this disassociation and pretense and "hiding in the dream in a body" is overcome, you will come to recognize that YOU ARE DREAMING THE PLANET. That you are looking at a dream that is coming from your mind in its ENTIRETY, not just your little body or your little fenced off corner of the dream. And so now your mind is responsible for MAKING THE WORLD. And it is a dream world, because you are DREAMING IT. You are inventing it as you go along.
To recognize this is to be "awake in the dream", which really means, to be STILL DREAMING but aware that the dream is coming from your mind. It isn't the end of dreaming, nor does it represent the desire to STOP dreaming and be TRULY awake. It is a state of lucidity, but NOT a state of being TOTALLY AWAKE IN REALITY. And because the body is part of the dream, having it, using it, seeing it, keeping it, is all part of STILL dreaming.
Given you are dreaming of a UNIVERSE, to truly awaken from the dreaming state is to END the universe, to DISAPPEAR the body, to see the world VANISH, and FORGET THIS WORLD ENTIRELY, this whole planet and everything on it and beyond it. And to GO HOME TO HEAVEN. Heaven is the container of your "dreaming self" which is reality and is a PLACE and has not changed since you fell asleep.
And only upon waking up FROM dreaming, do you truly awaken into a state where there IS NO DREAM OF ANY KIND, no bodies, no planets, no animals, no plants, no stars or galaxies. Just pure light, love, immortality and eternal life. Pure spirit. What you REALLY ARE. Your real self in God. The Kingdom of God, which GOD created, and which is your real home.
The secret of salvation tells us that we are doing everything to ourselves, but this is often used only to try to "re-frame" the stuff we thought other people were doing to us. If we open it up, there's a bigger picture here.
It's really actually about our RELATIONSHIP with God and with ourselves and our brothers.
We need to first be clear God is always loving. He does not attack, hurt, damage, threaten, reject, abandon, inflict pain and sickness and death, make anyone afraid, nor does he produce any form of unhappiness. He is continually constantly perfect and holy and innocent and pure and kind.
With that in mind, look then at what you are experiencing in your RELATIONSHIP with God. It is easy in ego to believe that God has abandoned you, God is a dangerous threat, God is out to kill you, God wants revenge etc, because the ego has misinterpreted God and tried to turn him into an evil monster.
The reason for that is that if you can make out that God is the one who DID SIN, and who is responsible for making hell, then you can disown it and hide the fact that He absolutely DID NOT do that. He becomes a convenient scapegoat and decoy to disguise your own sinfulness.
So if we recognize what God really is like, and realize He cannot possibly be the one making our lives hell, upsetting us, making us suffer, etc.... then it must be us. And this is a turning point because now you start to own up to the fact that YOU are the one making your life a living hell.
It's really you that tried to abandon and reject God. It's you that tried to sin against Him. It's you that left Heaven. It's you that threw away everything He gave you. It's you that turned away and sought something more. It's you that is actively pushing Him away. Jesus also says "You attack the real world every second of every day."
Indeed we made an entire world as an attack on God. This world was made as a defense AGAINST God, to shut him out and thus sever our relationship with Him. To hide in form and bodies trying to disguise who and what we are, so that He isn't part of our lives any more. Like holding a major grudge, we wanted nothing to do with Him. We wanted him dead.
It wasn't God that did this. God didn't make an attack planet. He does not attack us WITH the planet or WITH bodies or through sickness and suffering. He is not responsible for wars and murders and all manner of vile things. It's not even remotely His doing at all. God CANNOT do these things, He is utterly incapable of sin, and would never EVER attack you. You are part of Him, and He would be insane if He were to attack Himself.
So you then realize, as clearly as possible, that YOU are the one who has "done this to yourself". You have been hiding from God, rejecting God, abandoning God, attacking God, resisting God, not wanting God, fearing God, trying to make God sick and dead, speaking against God, and trying to live without God. That's your doing, not His, and it's not His will for you.
When you can own that, you can also then decide to choose again. And this is the major theme in the course. You can make a different decision and always be free and capable of returning to a loving relationship with God, in which you share everything and are fully open to Him being in you and with you. God wants that, because from His perspective, He has done nothing but continually love you. And it's just you who has been bearing completely unfounded grudges against Him.
This is why in a sense you need to "forgive God" of what you think He is responsible for, or what you think He "did" (sin), recognizing that He DID NOT do that, and HE is still innocent. But you have to go even further to then also forgive yourself. It's not enough JUST to recognize that God isn't the guilty party. You MUST also undo your own guilt and belief in real sin, that "you really did it, not God."
God knows you have not actually really done anything sinful at all. You have never attacked Him, hurt Him, damaged Him, upset Him, threatened Him, made Him sick or dead, or indeed affected or changed Him even in the tiniest of ways. And the whole authority problem was your attempt to believe you could, or had. Yet you cannot change God, period. Ever. And He still loves you. For-ever.
So His INVITATION, through the Holy Spirit, the "call to return", is merely asking you to come to your senses and accept the truth instead of what you THINK you did to God. Recognize how HE sees you. Recognize and reclaim your innocence. Laugh at the idea that you could ever sin. And thus return to relating TO Him from the same love that He relates to you.
This is what the journey Home is all about. Repairing your sense of a broken relationship with God, and thus with your Self, and with your Divine Brothers. Developing TRUST in Him again, as someone you can have a meaningful and SAFE relationship with. Opening up to re-discovering what He is really LIKE. Opening yourself to RECEIVE every gift that you temporarily shelved, including miracles.
It's a relief to really recognize that the only thing coming between you and God, between you and total happiness and peace and love, is the "hurt relationship" stuff BETWEEN you, that YOU put in place, and YOU can undo. Really, even if you ignore having to deal with other people, or with the body, or the world, the SOLE (soul) issue is your connection with God. First and foremost. And if you seek first the Kingdom of God, the way is made straight. All other relationships will fall into place when you get yourself "right with God."
Love God again. Job done.
On the level of the ego mind, let's call it "level 1", cause and effect are separate. This is entirely based on the notion that the Son of God (who is the effect of God) is separate from cause (from God). Everything about the ego's thought system is based on this foundation.
The ego mind perceives that causes produce completely separate effects. Whoever causes something is separate from the effects they produce. All kinds of ego bullshit comes from this:
- You can do something to someone else without it affecting yourself
- Other people can do something to you without affecting themselves
- You can be hurt or have something happen to you without you willing it yourself
- You can hurt or do something to other people or objects against their will
- Events happen seemingly against your will at all times with no power to stop them
- You can get away with murder
It is a thought system in which cause seems to be power but effect seems to be powerless. This is because the Son of God (effect) has be disconnected from Power (God).
Even the properties of the physical world are based on this principle. Object A seems to do something to Object B, causing Object B to be affected in some way, but the effects on Object B are not the same as Object A. Object A may appear to be completely unaffected (e.g. using hard diamonds to cut metal).
Every interaction of physical objects/forms in the physical universe follows this principle of separation of cause and effect. The entire physical universe itself IS an expression of this idea of the Son being separate from the Father, and therefore is that He is "disconnected" from God by being in a body.
It's also a way for us to disown sin and go into denial. There has to be denial present in order for Object B to be "affected" by Object A in any way whatsoever, without those effects applying also to object A. Physical matter itself is therefore an expression of the denial of God, and every separation between every particle of matter or energy is also an expression of denial of God.
The physical world is really a state of denial and once there is no longer denial, there can be no more physical world! Separation is a state of differences - different forms - all of which are illusions of differences and do not really exist but in a state of denial of the truth.
The Holy Spirit's thought system, which we could call "level 2", is a thought system of total oneness, wholeness, sharing and equality. In it, what applies to oneself must apply both in its cause and its effects. It's a mindset where the Son of God is One with the Father. In it there is no separation, and therefore the One Mind shares equally in cause and effect. This leads to perceptions such as:
- What I do unto others I literally am directly doing to myself
- It is impossible to hurt anyone else without it hurting yourself, which is a profound incentive to never hurt anyone
- What applies to you applies to the entire Sonship equally
- If it is true for you, it is true for everyone everywhere
- In an all-or-nothing way, since what applies to you applies everywhere, either you and your brother are both guilty or you and your brother are both innocent.
- You cannot get away with murder because your attempt to bring about death (of God) destroys your own self. You cannot have God be affected by your sin but not yourself. Your belief in attack attacks yourself, and all attack is therefore self-attack.
- It is absolutely 100% impossible to be a victim or a victimizer.
So in the right mind or One Mind, cause and effect are reunited and therefore all of the laws of God come into effect. This includes ideas like "to have all, give all to all", or "give and receiving are one", or "who but myself can I crucify" etc. There are thoughts of oneness and universal equality.
This also means that in Holy Spirit's thought system, openness to this mindset of equality means you are able to now receive love as well as extend it, you are able to have shared interests, you're able to love others as yourself literally etc.
But it also means, that mind is capable of undoing, erasing, correcting, and repairing (healing) the mind of separation between cause and effect. That means this mind is able to overthrow and override all of the apparent physical laws such as the ways that one object seems to inflict "separate effects" on another, the way that disease and sickness unfolds as a state of victimhood, etc.
All of these things are healed and corrected by the mind of truth. This is why Holy Spirit's mind is miraculous, why absolutely nothing physical has power over it, and why absolutely ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. And by that I mean in the EXTREME, the most extremely unlikely unimaginable extraordinary supernatural fantastic fucking amazing things are possible, because anything is possible when you have holiness (wholeness of mind).
The unified mind which both gives and receives is far more powerful and empowered than the separated mind. In separation, cause is power and effect is powerless. In unity, cause is power and effect is power also. This means having power over all effects, and really realizing that all physical effects are actually states of powerlessness, and therefore should be EASY to manipulate by someone who is empowered with love.
Becoming angry, blameful, accusing someone or believing someone is guilty, is really your secret attempt to get rid of a guilt that's inside yourself. A guilt which you put there. When you try to project it onto someone else, you are trying to dissociate from it and associate it with them. Like "pinning it" on them literally. You're trying to make them take a hit for you.
The purpose of this is really murder. By trying to destroy the other person you're believing that they are the solely guilty party and you are not. The more you can separate yourself from the projected guilt the more you think you're innocent. Which means your brother has to go down with the guilt so that you are spared.
The more they deserve destruction and hatred the more innocent you seem to be. But if you separate yourself off from them you have attacked yourself, because they are part of you. The more separate or dissociated you become, the more your mind is split and the sicker you are.
The separation from God was an act of dissociation. It was a way in which the sons of God, who shared everything with each other, could dis-associate themselves from each other and pull away into separate corners. Wanting nothing to do with each other, they rejected each other and did not want to share. Seeing themselves as separated off, they could not relate or communicate, and instead saw each other as strangers.
We CONTINUE to be in a separated state, and keep the separation going, by maintaining or even trying to increase the dissociation. By not seeing ourselves as one with each other, and instead focusing on taking sides and trying to pin the blame on others, we are keeping the separation going. The way to end the separation is therefore in your relationship with each other and with yourselves.
You have to learn to stop excluding others from yourself, stop using hate and anger and blame to increase the rift between you, stop projecting guilt in an effort to distance yourself from your brothers, and learn to share interests with everyone. Their interests are in your best interests when you recognize them as part of yourself. Without recognizing them as brothers or included in you, you'll keep seeing reasons to push them away.
Only when minds join can there be peace. That means you have to re-associate yourself with others. To be willing to be around them, intimate with them, love them, share with them, including them in your interests, side with them against no-one, unite with everyone, and return to the divine family of God, in and as his Kingdom. Only when dissociation ends, is the separation over.
"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It is solely a device of the ego to make you feel DIFFERENT from your brothers and separated FROM them. The ego justifies this on the wholly spurious grounds that it makes you seem better than they are, thus obscuring equality WITH them still further."
"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING. The reason, however, may not be as clear to you as you think. What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
It’s important to realize, projection happens BEFORE perception.
"Projection MAKES perception"
"Perception is a RESULT, not a cause"
Perception is not really to do with what you project onto people. It’s the RESULT, or what you "see", AFTER you have projected something to see. Perception is more like a receptive, sensory device, which takes IN what has been projected OUT. You FIRST look within, at your own sins, then you PROJECT them out, THEN you perceive it. So what’s all this focus on "correcting perception"? Or even correcting projections? Shouldn’t you be correcting what is WITHIN?
Jesus goes on to say, seek not to change the world, but seek to change your mind ABOUT the world. Now, people have taken this to mean, that your ideas "about" the world are part of PERCEPTION. It’s not. They’re really ideas about YOURSELF, which you project onto the world, and THEN perceive.
There is a common belief that false perceptions CAUSE what you see. This is not remotely true. Perception is PASSIVE. It is a result. It doesn’t DO anything, because it is not a CAUSE. It is in fact the opposite of cause, it’s just an effect coming at you from the outside in.
Your projecting has a lot more to do with causing. And even projection is once removed from the real SOURCE of CAUSE which is WITHIN. Your beliefs, values and attitudes about yourself, is the STARTING POINT of all problems. That is ALL that needs correcting. Correct it at the source and there will be nothing sinful to project OR perceive. Change YOUR MIND, period, regardless of whether it seems to be "about the world" or not
Jesus says somewhere that it is therefore with your THOUGHTS that we must work. And what he means by that is your attack thoughts but also your BELIEFS. Beliefs are decisions, they are a long-term thought, which give rise to more thoughts. It is ONLY through belief that you give reality to the separation. It is through false believing that you modify the truth. It is through false believing that you attack. It is through false believing that you reverse cause and effect, regarding yourself as a victim, project causality outside of you, then have a perception of being attacked, which generates reactionary fear thoughts.
What you are doing to yourself is the KEY to salvation. The CAUSE of bad perceptions is the PROJECTING of bad beliefs. "I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts" tells you it’s neither projection or perception that hurts you, but the attack thoughts against yourself that you put there FIRST before you even project, yet alone perceive..
"You but accuse your brother of your own sins" tells you that you FIRST accuse yourself of sin, THEN you project it onto your brother, THEN you perceive that your brother is being sinful. Correcting "perception" is not going to remove your belief in sin about yourself. But fix your mind and your perception automatically follows. "As a man THINKETH, so does he perceive." The thinking comes first, perception is a RESULT that you don’t directly need to change. It’s an effect.
Perception is like 3 times removed from the cause. If you really want to attain true perception, corrected perception, which is only a SIDE EFFECT (result), you have to work with what you are projecting, at least. Because projection is the CAUSE of perception. Trying to tackle perception itself won’t work. It’s not the problem. It’s coming FROM projection. And even projection is not the problem, it’s merely a way of trying to disown the problem.
Yes you should "take back your projections" and realize you are putting it there, but this isn’t enough. The fact you are projecting or judging others is not the whole problem. It’s just a step. Thinking it’s about others and NOT YOU is a layer of denial. Even if you stop projecting, that isn’t a total fix. Because you’re still left with WHAT you projected, and left holding the baby. WHAT you projected is your SELF attack. The stuff that’s WITHIN you, which you saw AS IF it were outside you, but it STILL was inside your mind. Your beliefs about YOURSELF.
Projection is an attempt to get rid of what you do not want to be responsible for, but it does not work. All it does is split your mind and disassociate and PRETEND it’s about someone else. It remains your mind attacking itself, but in a more split state that seems like it’s not coming from you. Projection is just an inflated form of self attack.
Ultimately it’s always still YOUR MIND that needs healing. It’s your self attack that needs to be healed. This is why he secret of salvation is the key to awakening - you are always doing it to yourself. Ideas leave not their source, your self attack does not leave your mind EVEN when you project or perceive it externally.
Change your mind, period, and everything you project AND perceive will change. You see yourself "in" the world. You see yourself everywhere, because you are everywhere. If you hate yourself, you will see hate everywhere. If you love yourself, you will see love everywhere. You are innocent.
When ACIM talks about the secret of salvation, it goes on to talk about how there is a singular lesson the Holy Spirit teaches, transcendent of all forms of suffering:
"The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth ("That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF"). For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."
So what he's saying here is, YOU CAUSE all of your own suffering and pain and sickness and death. YOU are the SINGLE CAUSE of all suffering.
So if we are then to approach healing something that you are seeming to suffer from, even a physical sickness, we need to be at least acknowledging this fact that you have to ADMIT... that you DID THIS, and you now become willing to UNDO it.
"miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo." "
This means there has to be a willingness to admit and accept that if there is any suffering of any kind, it is because YOU CHOSE IT. This has nothing at all to do with inducing guilt either.
"I must have made a wrong decision because I am not at peace" "I made the decision myself..."
This tells you the same thing. You can't get anywhere so long as you are tangled up in beliefs about someone OTHER THAN yourself, or some EXTERNAL CAUSE, being responsible for putting this suffering in place.
You have to be willing to look at the fact that you PUT IT IN PLACE, through a decision you made, a deliberate choice, FOR a reason to fulfill a PURPOSE, to achieve a GOAL, based on a perceived NEED to do so.
"No-one can heal unless he understands what ***purpose*** sickness seems to serve. For then he understands as well its purpose has no meaning. Being causeless and without a meaningful intent of any kind, it cannot be at all. ***When this is seen, healing is automatic.*** It dispels this meaningless illusion by the same approach that carries all of them to truth, and merely leaves them there to disappear."
Jesus again confirms that without a PURPOSE, or a NEED FOR the suffering, due to some belief that you WANT IT in order to accomplish something, there would be no way for the sickness to remain.
"Special agents seem to be ministering to him, yet they but give form to his own choice. He chooses them in order to bring tangible form to his desires. And it is this they do, and nothing else. They are not actually needed at all. The patient could merely rise up without their aid and say, ***"I have no use for this."*** There is no form of sickness that would not be cured at once."
You can see that Jesus is being very clear about the RESPONSIBILITY and the POWER that you have, the FREE WILL which you are at all times exercising, which results in either supportive or destructive effects. If anything is happening, it is ONLY because you have chosen it. And therefore you have every power NOT TO. To reverse and undo whatever it is that YOU put into place.
""My Self is ruler of the universe." "***It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself***. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen."
So nothing AT ALL, no sickness, suffering, experiences, effects, reactions, perceptions, NOTHING can come to you unbidden (un-chosen) by yourself. YOU CHOOSE whether or not you suffer. Which exactly ties into "no one dies without their own consent."
We are free willed beings, which means that absolutely NOTHING happens against your will. You yourself have to ELECT to experience whatever it is you experience. EVERYTHING you experience is chosen freely and willingly. NOTHING happens without YOU willing it to happen. This is responsibility.
This also means there are NO VICTIMS. There is no-one else to blame. No-one else is responsible for changing you or fixing you. No-one is the CAUSE of anything you experience. You are NEVER trapped and stuck in any situation regardless of the symptoms or severity. EVERYTHING can be reversed if you TRULY, genuinely, honestly choose it.
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. ***Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way.*** There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. ***No-one but yourself affects you.*** There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail."
Read it again. "No-one but yourself affects you."
NOTHING in the world has any power to make you ill or sad or weak or frail. NOTHING in the world causes you to be sick. NOTHING in the world can make you die.
If you are suffering, and without adding any guilt or BLAME, which is an ego interpretation of responsibility, YOU HAVE THE POWER to choose again and be free from it. Because you have GIVEN IT to yourself, and you can take it away.
"I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."
So at the very least, as we're looking at the "consequences of our wrong decision", which "The holy spirit will undo" ... "if I will LET Him". .... we need to at least be willing to accept the BASIC rule, that whatever it is... WE MUST HAVE CHOSEN IT.
So you admit to yourself, I chose this. I wanted this. I put this in place. I made this happen. I put it there. I did this on purpose. I did it intentionally. I was trying to ACHIEVE something. I had a PURPOSE for it. I NEEDED to do it.
As you think along these lines, you might be surprised that the RATIONALE for WHY you did this, what you were TRYING TO DO, is much more likely to come to mind. I did this with a physical problem for example and quickly what shows up in my mind was a feeling of hate and anger and a desire to attack, and this hate was clearly directed towards myself. And it was coupled with a desire to position myself as suffering so that I could try to blame someone for something. That's why I induced sickness. And sickness is ALWAYS CHOSEN CONSCIOUSLY.
"***Sickness is not an accident.*** Like all defenses, it is an insane device for self-deception."
"Defenses are not unintentional, ***nor are they made without awareness.*** They are secret magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them. In that second, even less, in which ***the choice is made***, you recognize exactly what you would attempt to do, and then proceed to think that it is done."
There is also a whole "piece" to the course's metaphysics to do with projection and accusation. That is, when you use the body for attack, which attacks the body, such as when you are trying to project your sin and guilt onto your brother, you DELIBERATELY make your body sick in order to PORTRAY "your self" as suffering, SO THAT you can create EFFECTS in the body, which act as PROOF. And these physical effects, which form as part of PROJECTION OF SIN, act as ACCUSATIONS.
"Sick bodies remain accusers"
And once the body is showing as sick, tied into the projection of RESPONSIBILITY and CAUSE onto another person, in which you see yourself as NOT RESPONSIBLE and NOT THE CAUSE and NOT THE CHOOSER, you are accusing your brother of being these things. And your effects seem to correlate to HIS causing you. And now he stands accused, by your suffering, of being the REASON FOR your suffering. And you will now happily have the body suffer and die if it means you can be exonerated from sin by finding your brother to be the RESPONSIBLE party. And now "brother by your hand I die."
So what's happening here is we try to DISOWN the fact that we ALWAYS CHOOSE THE SUFFERING, and that WE PUT IT IN PLACE, and we try to FRAME someone else as the cause of it, by externalizing the choice and try to pin it on someone else. And we use this as a DEVICE, to try to escape RESPONSIBILITY. Because in our mind in which are know we ARE responsible for everything we experience, we also experience GUILT for sins we believe in, and to the ego that makes us feel like we are responsible for being guilty sinners. And we can't stand that so we try to DISSOCIATE from it.
To do that, we have to reverse perception and project causation and make it seem like someone else or something external is the cause of it, we materialize the effects in the body through SELF ATTACK, and then blame our brother for it. So now sickness has a PURPOSE of trying to disown your responsibility and GET RID OF the guilt out of your mind (and of course ideas do not leave their source). And the NEED for the sickness is to escape from RESPONSIBILITY for the guilt. So we try to throw the responsibility out with the guilt.
So while you have a NEED to escape from sin and guilt in your own mind, which YOU CHOSE TO BELIEVE WERE TRUE OF YOU, you have all kinds of reasons why you can BENEFIT from sickness and from portraying yourself as suffering. So that you can DEFEND against the truth. So that you can INDUCE illness. And so that you can try to render yourself SAFER and more INNOCENT. By finding someone else to blame for the beliefs YOU are responsible for, you create a false sense of security. Which at the same time undermines your security.
This is still stuff that we are RESPONSIBLE for doing. But the ego has a really tough time accepting any kind of responsibility because it believes sin and guilt are real. So whenever we're asked to be responsible for choice, for power, for SELF INDUCED SUFFERING, the ego recoils at it, interpreting it as meaning WE REALLY ARE GUILTY if we "own up to having sinned." To admit to "being the sinner" in an effort to be more HONEST, is interpreted through ego as confessing to a crime, and you avoid this at all costs because it induces guilt.
This is why RESPONSIBILITY has to be separated out from ego, sin and guilt, and recognized as SALVATION, rather than as a guarantee of condemnation. Being fully responsible for CHOOSING everything is not in any way an indication of being guilty, or to compound it, or make you feel bad about yourself. It's not a way of pointing a finger of blame or shifting blame to yourself. You are supposed to ADMIT that you did this to yourself, SO THAT you can tap back into the POWER you have to DO THIS, so that you can UNDO IT.
"When you are willing to accept ***sole responsibility*** for the ego's existence YOURSELF, you will have laid aside all anger and all attack""Anger ALWAYS involves PROJECTION OF SEPARATION, which must ultimately be accepted as entirely one's own responsibility."
In general, you will make far more progress towards healing if you are willing to look at your suffering from a vantage point of being its SOURCE. Consider yourself as PRE-SUFFERING, and in a position of being PRIOR to having CHOSEN it. And now recognize from this perspective that you MUST HAVE CHOSEN IT, wanted it, put it there, USED it, desired it, had a purpose for it, needed it, for a reason. And ADMITTING this, will prevent your mind from making up projections and disowning the causation of it. And this will very quickly bring to mind WHAT you did to yourself, and WHY.
You can't become aware of the PURPOSE of your suffering if you are not willing to be responsible for causing or needing it. And only when to recognize what it was FOR, can you see what USE or need you had for it, and may still have for it. But once you can see WHY you did this to yourself, you are then in a far better position to CHANGE YOUR MIND, and therefore UNDO what you have done.
When sickness is correctly recognized as NO LONGER NEEDED, BY YOU, for any reason, and you clearly now have no use for it, having addressed the source underlying reasons why you put it there in the first place, you will LET IT GO. And it will simply disappear automatically because your MIND no longer supports it. And then there is healing.
You can set yourself free. You can find salvation. The secret of salvation is that you are doing it to yourself.
It can be very difficult to forgive abuse. Typically in abusive situations, both persons are identified with their bodies. One person does something to the other person's body, which is taken very personally and hurtfully.
It seems that one person has power to affect the other, to do something to them against their will. And the whole scenario seems to paint a very closed picture of unfair treatment, unwilling participation, obvious fault on the part of the abuser, and total helplessness on the part of the victim.
If you look solely at what is happening at the physical level, and if this is believed to be reality, then all of this makes sense. The abuser physically does do something. The victim physically or emotionally or mentally does seem to receive the fallout of the abuse. The separation between the bodies and wills seems to portray the victim as "not wanting it" etc. At a purely surface-appearance level, this is all very real and threatening and traumatic. As if the is the whole story.
But viewing the situation purely in terms of surface appearance, is actually an unforgiving perception. It means the form of what happened was blinding. It means you were identified with your body, such that anything happening from the outside in seemed to affect your actual self. There is no recognition that "its just a dream." And there certainly doesn't appear to be any hope of escape from the hellish nightmare.
The difficult part comes when you start to explore how to heal this, forgive it, undo the consequences, or to become free from the aftereffects, some of which can be debilitating and even life threatening. But at some point, there has to be a willingness to entertain the possibility that there was "more happening" than met the eye, and that there might be a different way of looking at it. It is this unwillingness to remain in pain, that inspires the beginning of opening up to spirit.
"The misuse of will engenders a situation which, in the extreme, becomes altogether intolerable. Pain thresholds can be high, but they are not limitless. Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point. This ultimately reawakens the spiritual eye, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight."
Even if you are left with pain and scars, emotional hurt, physical damage, psychological wounds or forms of insanity, carrying this baggage around forever becomes intolerable. Pain is not pleasant. Constant fear is a nightmare. The sheer weight of suffering can potentially inspire a person to try to find a way out of hell, unless they become so distraught that it leads to suicide.
For those who do find at least "a little willingness", there becomes a glimmer of openness to at least the possibility that, just maybe, there is some way to heal and be free of this. That maybe if you look at it from a different vantage point you might find out some hidden facts, previously unrecognized influences, or even some ways that you might have caused it. Of course, for abused people, leaping to "I did this to myself" is a pretty huge leap, when everything the physical reports testifies to "they did everything to me and I did nothing."
It can even seem horrendously offensive to a person who is very heavily believing in "what appeared to happen" as the only reality. When pain backs it up, when suffering seemed to come from it, and when the person didn't seem to want any of it, there is tremendous resistance to healing and forgiveness. It is in fact, part of the pyschological blindness that placed their mind in an unforgiving experience to begin with, and this denial may even have been increased through the abusive experiences.
This is why it can take time, a lot of willingness and gradual transformation, to work through the ins-and-outs of everything that happened, all the pain it entailed, to be able to purge and purify the suffering, to even get to a point where you might be open to another way of looking at it. But if there is to be another way of looking at it, it can't be at the physical level. It can't be just another attempt to frame the situation in terms of "it was real, but the person had their reasons."
True forgiveness has to entail moving away from the sheer physcality of the abusive situation, away from appearances and forms, and away from the illusion of causality. It has to rise above the "he did this to me" and the "she did that to me". And it has to go into the "Maybe I had something to do with this." Given how intense and horrifying abuse can be, and the seeming unhealable wounds it leaves behind, even being open to that suggestion can be a seemingly insurmountable stretch.
The key factor which lifts a person out of perception of abuse, is becoming identified with spirit instead of the body. And that all by itself is a journey. And it also requires that you recognize that you can be free from suffering, even if people seem to be vicious and hurtful. As the Course says:
"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true.
Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes."
To allow there to be a maximum amount of viciousness and attack by others, yet to be in such a state of mind in which this has NO effect on you, seems like a very tall order. But it is not impossible. It entails the recognition that this world is a dream, and not a reality. Yes it will seem like the abuse was VERY real, with disturbing memories and wounds to show for it, but in the really big picture it nevertheless was still part of a dream.
Jesus suggests that if we can approach the awareness and recognition that this IS a dream world, and not a reality, we will become more identified as spirit, or as the dreamer of the dream. We are the mind/soul that is beyond the dream which houses it within ourselves.
With willingness, it's going to become apparent that the events in dreams are something WE are contributing to. This produces a profound shift in how we look at what the other person "did to us", because now we're starting to question not only whether it really happened in reality at all, but also who was really causing what.
It can seem to be a bitter pill to swallow, that we would be hurtful to ourselves, that we ourselves might've agreed to or arranged or produced suffering, that in effect we wanted to be abused for some other purpose of scapegoating. It's especially heinous to many people to suggest that someone in a victim role is not entirely faultless, that they in fact are using the opportunity to position themselves as victim in order to be ABLE to find the abuser guilty. And as the course says, this has a tremendous payoff in allowing us to position ourselves as innocent, as a way to asuage our OWN guilt for our own sense of sin.
Could it be then, quite a shocking but deep truth, that we may well not only consent to abuse but even encourage it and bring it upon ourselves, because of the benefit to us psychologically - that we can convince ourselves that if the other person is especially evil, it portrays us as especially good. And given that we are loaded with uhealed guilt over the separation from God, it provides a wonderful opportunity to exonerate ourselves by finding someone else to be especially sinful. We may in fact be using the abuser as a fall-guy for our own sin.
This then completely turns the tables on the situation, and is the secret hidden truth that the abusive situation seems to reject. While the situation said, "they did this to me, I did nothing", in truth the fact is "I did this to me and used them to make myself look better." That is not something that is easy to admit to, but it has to be admitted to if you want freedom.
Here is Jesus saying that we are even willing to BE KILLED, if it means the payoff that we can find someone ELSE to be the sinner and to exonerate ourselves. And that we may even welcome being highly severly abused, attacked, afflicted, murdered and destroyed, as a tremendously opportunistic bargain, if it means we can be found guiltless. Even that what WE get out of it is even MORE than they get out of it - a great deal!
"Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
This isn't simply a teaching about sickness and how we use the body to try to show proof that our brother caused us to be sick, so that we'll be exonerated of sin. It's a general teaching that in many ways, abuse included, we try to position ourselves as victims in order to get a great payoff. That we're even willing to enter into highly abusive, detrimental, suffering situations, with terrible power loss and mistreatment, if it means that secretly this causes the OTHER person to seem like the sinner. What did abuse turn you into, if not someone justified in anger and blame?
Jesus doesn't hold back, in that he is even saying that we are WILLING TO DIE, if it will provide us with an opportunity to point a finger at the CAUSE of death, other than ourselves, and say "look there, that's where the sin is". And thus to say, "Look at me, I didn't do anything at all." We even lay down in death in a kind of passive way, totally hands-off, making ourselves appear to be COMPLETELY at the effect of something outside our control, so that it paints a very vivid picture of unfair destruction, un-asked for killing, and unwanted torment. In which we appear innocent.
The driving force behind all of this is the guilt that WE feel in OUR mind, over a situation which doesn't even have anything to do with these abusers. It's the fact that we are bringing some very heavy shit, TO the situation, from our past. And we're causing and involving ourselves in relationships and situations which afford us opportunities to PROJECT, dissociate from, and disown this hidden secret suffering, in order to try to deal with it.
What could be so big and deep and hidden and painful that we would want to go so far as to ALLOW ourselves to seem to be destroyed by another, if it would mean escaping it? What possible severity of sin could we have possibly either committed tor accused ourselves of, that we would ENCOURAGE sickness in an attempt to be seen with pity and favor? What kind of hideous act did we commit which could possibly require death as the only "solution", in which by accusing anyone OTHER than ourselves of TERRIBLE mistreatment, we can try to make a dent in it and be seen as the innocent one?
Don't doubt for a second that the ego's entire drive is to use denial to its full extent. It denies who you are, it denies God through sin, it denies sin through guilt, it denies guilt through the face of innocence, and it denies the face of innocence by destroying the body through "a will of punishment not my own." Denial upon denial upon denial are used to gradually remove you from existence and to disown everything. Even in abuse we are disowning the way in which we are abusing ourselves.
All of this is really based on our secret sins and hidden hates, the self accusation, the condenation upon yourself BY yourself, the belief in the reality of sin, the authority problem and desire to overthrow God, and indeed the belief that you HAVE attacked God against His will. It is really the original sin, the belief that you opposed the entire Kingdom of God through evil, that you are running and hiding from. And it is the unforgiven guilt for that perceived sin that you try to push onto others when you form abusive relationships.
Those who feel particularly guilty are apt to not only cause physical sickness, they are also apt to be vicious and very accusatory. They project heavily because trying to dissociate that unconscious guilt from their minds seems like the only way to hide from it. By putting it onto someone else and framing them as an abuser or attacker, it SEEMS to make it look like they are more evil than you, thus you are partly exonerated for your belief in sin against God. And those who are especially OPEN to being a victim, unfairly treated, abused, in fact are the most deceptive and blameful. He who has "been destroyed against his will" has gotten away with the crime of the century.
So now as the tables turn, we find out that a person who on the surface seemed to be the innocent party in the abuse, who was purely victimized, who asked for nothing and who made no contribution to it at all, actually turns out to be the ONLY one who was really doing anything at all, who did it all to themselves, and EVEN went so far as to USE the "abuser" for their own aims. What more benefit could a guilty person find than to position themselves as helplesly suffering, if it would create the illusion that SOMEONE ELSE is guilty? And how sick is it that we would actively WANT to do this, even if it meant we had to suffer to pull it off?
You can see why the truth of these situations is so hard to accept. It litearlly suggests that "the abused" are abusers, that victims are in fact victimizers, that those who are afraid are vicious, and that this is all a secret plot to GAIN from suffering. Even that we would happily die if it meant someone else would pay for what we've done to God.
"We said before that those who are afraid are apt to be vicious. " On the surface, the world being so back to front, it always seems at first glance that those who are suffering are NOT the ones doing the attacking. And that those who are seeming to be the cause of the suffering, are NOT the victims. But this is literally what Jesus is telling us. And it is this complete "180" that our minds have to go through in order to heal this psychological conditioning. And that's not easy.
If I was abused, even if the abuse and the emotional pain tells me that it happened, it was unfair, I did not ask for it, the abusers were evil monsters, and they ought to receive a death sentence, my act to MAINTAIN this position is in fact driven by a motive of wanting to keep BENEFITING from it. And that is not an easy thing to admit to. Yet alone to look at the fact that I was the one doing the abuse to myself and to the abusers. That I was USING them as a scapegoat, and WANTED to be abused in order to get away with FRAMING THEM for my own murder.
It's even harder to admit to any of this if the victim is a helpless innocent young child who appears, at the face of it, to be utterly devoid of sin and guilt, and who has no power or ability to stop anything happening. This all sets up the perfect scenario for the ego to manipulate the situation and USE it to its advantage. Not o much to cause the child to suffer cruelly, but to cause the child to WANT to suffer in order to develop a wonderful collection of scapegoats. Of course, saying something like this is NOT going to be popular with most of society.
Admitting to all this is, nevertheless, the eventual place our mind has to get to if we truly want to be free from pain and suffering. We have to approach the secret of salvation. We have to be willing to admit to what we are doing and the part we play. And we certainly have to completely let the abusers off the hook, otherwise we cannot experience psycholgoical repair. So long as we are looking to project and get rid of our own inner guilt onto these people, we keep ourselves in a prison of denial and suffering. And we can't feel happy while we're AVOIDING the original guilt that we were using the abuser to try to get rid of.
It begs the question, far more importantly, not "why did they do that to me"... but "why did I do this to me?". That's the really deeper issue. Why did you accuse yourself of sin FIRST, before you arranged for someone to sin against you? Why did you believe in sin, at all, before inviting others to seem to sin against you? Why did you fall into the authority problem, prior to ever needing an external authority to pretend to have power over you? Why did you attack yourself first? Why were you overtly vicious against yourself and God, before portraying yourself as a helpless victim? That's the bigger deal to heal.
"I but accuse my brother of my own sins."
"It can be but myself I crucify."
"I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts."
"You are doing this to yourself."
"There is no sin."
Self destruction and self attack and self victimization and self punishment, are far more the problem and death-inducing than the two-times removed scapegoats that we find externally. The abuser isn't even the beginning of the process, they're a device that we use later down the line to try to deal with what we've done to oursevles. And the ultimate freedom can only come when you find YOURSELF to be innocent, having never sinned in reality, forming the basis for the total lack of NEED to have an "abuser" take on the burden for you.
These external influencers are not even the cause of anything. They're scapegoats that we use to project sin and disown responsibility. And until this power is taken back and reclaimed, a "victim" cannot feel empowered or free of victimization. It's kind of a two-way street. You can't be secretly victimizing, which all victims do, if you want to be free of being victimized. If you believe in victimization you become a victimizer and pretend you are the opposite. Obviously that's not a sane position to take.
There is hope for healing and true release from all suffering, all abuse, all symptoms and effects, all baggage and all pain. But it does require that you take full responsibility for your choices and your participation on making happen what you thought happened against your will. You cannot see yourself as being an unwilling participant if you want to find the power of the wil. And the only way to be truly free is to accept the atonement truth that you never sinned in the first place, such that you don't need anyone to exonerate you through suffering.
Who is the abuser who really needs your forgiveness? It's you.
If you are feeling like someone else is wrong, someone else is guilty, someone else is at fault, someone else is sick, someone else is doing something they shouldn't be, someone else is afraid, someone else is not awake, someone else is pissing you off, someone else is the cause of any upset etc.... YOU ARE MISTAKEN.
The problem we have though is that once we get into the way of perceiving, the mindset, where we actually are quite adamant about how it is someone else who is wrong, it may not even occur to us that we need to forgive or that there is any other way to look at this. We can get so absorbed with anger and reactions and frustrations, that compound and increase the sense that the other person is wrong. It's all their fault. And we may not even REALIZE that we are actually experiencing being a victim right now.
Often when we are victims we are actually in a state of anger or frustrations and projection and that means that we're really really convinced that all of the 'problem' is outside of ourselves. Like, literally, it seems like it's got nothing to do with us. And we don't even recognize that we feel victimized by whatever it is we think the other person is doing wrong. Anger and frustration for example are quite strong energies which seem justified and which aren't usually interpreted as victimhood.
Victimhood is often equated with the experience and perhaps the acknowledgement that something is happening against your will - at least the awareness that you are suffering. When you are upset and pissed off at how wrong the other person is, you may not even have that awareness, because you feel like you WANT to feel angry and SHOULD feel angry, rather than that that you are actually suffering in a state of victim consciousness.
So an early step is, to recognize, if you are angry and upset, you most likely - pretty much definitely - are experiencing the situation as a VICTIM, and that means you are actively SEEING yourself as a victim, and playing the ROLE of a victim, and are actually CHOOSING that role. And you don't have to.
Just because you currently are really passionate about how the other is 'wrong', that doesn't mean you are in your right mind. You don't have peace, so something is amiss. Do you want peace, or do you want to keep being angry and outraged and justified in doing so, as a victim? Do you want to keep suffering? And, is the solution to your suffering that the other person changes and stops doing what they're doing, OR is it that YOU actually need to change yourself, so that you stop experiencing the situation as a victim? That's not so easy to admit to, or to have a willingness to pursue. It's much easier to skapegoat the other person and to expect them to be the one who is meant to change. That's the ego's form of forgiveness.
And there's a trap you can easily fall into. In the situation, just based on an evaluation of what's happening and how most people would view it, sometimes the other person IS seeming to be wrong, or IS severely mistaken. Maybe they are lying, maybe they are deluded, maybe they are attacking you, etc... so there is now 'evidence' that they are wrong. And this is a severe trap because now there is a risk that you will be so convinced they are wrong based on the situation, that this JUSTIFIES even more you condemning them for being wrong. And this becomes even more of an unconscious reaction. It wouldn't be so hard to get out of this if they were more obviously right.
But when even the situation itself clearly shows that the other is wrong/mistaken, it's very much harder to stop yourself from using that to judge them. So they're wrong, okay, that's fine, but does that mean you have to be right about it? Do you have to make them wrong for being wrong? What about recognizing they are wrong, but seeing that this wrongness is a mistake that calls for FORGIVENESS, rather than you conveniently using is to ATTACK them for it? Once you enter into attacking someone for them being 'actually wrong', you are falling into the ego's trap and likely will become even more upset.
So stop. Step back. And have this little willingness..... maybe it's ME that is mistaken. Maybe I am projecting. Maybe the other person is not as wrong as I'm making out. Maybe the other person IS wrong but I don't have to react to that wrongness with more mistakes. Maybe what I see in them IS my stuff. Maybe it's not actually their own wrongness. Maybe all the guilt I see in them, even their sickness, even their fear, even their delusions, even their lies, even their attacks, what if that is actually MINE? And what if I need to take that back and seek true forgiveness for it from Holy Spirit?
This is the beginning of taking responsibility. No matter how the situation seems, whatever you are seeing IN it, whatever you see IN the person, whatever you think is THEIRS and not yours, IT IS YOURS. Take it back. Own it. Then take it to Holy Spirit for correction. The other person is INNOCENT. They were just holding onto your guilt FOR you, so that you could disown it. Get honest as fast as you can.
Jesus is asking us to be fully responsible for everything we experience.
It means you cannot ever again be a victim in any way.
It means nothing happens to us against our will.
It means if we decide something, it happens. If we don't, it doesn't.
It means the body and its condition are exactly what we asked for and were given.
It means that everything that happens around us is what we explicitly asked for and are given. That all prayers are answered.
It means everything you feel, everything your body is doing, is coming from you. Directly.
It means there is no cause in the world able to do anything to you whatsoever against your will.
It means absolutely everything that you do and experience is 100% deliberate, intentional, on purpose, and there are no flaws, no accidents, no mistakes, and everything is exactly the way you want it.
It means you have freedom of choice, because choosing one thing gives you that one thing, and choosing something else gives that to you also.
It also means that whatever you decide to perceive, you will perceive. Whatever you want to see with your perception, you will project so that you can see it. Literally, projecting objects out of thin air.
It means nothing can attack you and nothing can affect you and you cannot be sick nor can you die and the body can be used to demonstrate this, proving that the Son of God cannot have anything happen to him against his will.
It means you do not ask questions, you express. You create. You create (or make) whatever it is you want to create (with or without God's will). You paint pictures. You do not ask pictures to change, in that they might decide not to. You put there what you want to see. You create what you will experience.
It means projection makes perception because you first project and then you perceive what you have projected. You project whatever you want to see. If you want to see an entire planet you will project an entire planet, "making it" in your dream. But when you are done projecting and perceiving, you will stop doing that, and it will disappear.
It means when you make a decision, the consequences are immediate and permanent, and there is no ifs or buts, no fears or doubts, no uncertainty. God's will BE DONE. What God wills CANNOT BE DENIED.
It means that because you have free will, whatever you ask for you will be given. You will never fail to be given what you ask for. Only what you ask for will be all that is given to you. And nothing that you receive will ever be something you did not ask for.
It also means that the world is not causing you, God is not attacking you, other people are not doing anything to you, no-one can hurt you, you MUST be invulnerable, and you cannot die.
It therefore also means that YOU MADE sickness and death and can therefore ABOLISH both, in yourself and in another IF they are willing to ask for help. This means you do not have to go through death if you do not choose to do so, and you would only choose to do so to attempt to prove you can be hurt against your will, which is a bullshit lie.
It also means other people with free will are 100% responsible for EVERYTHING they experience, there is nothing you can do to them, you cannot hurt them, you cannot attack them, you cannot judge them, you cannot forgive them, and they are absolutely immune to anything you express, other than your sharing of love.
It also means, therefore, that anyone's victimhood or sob story or justifications for revenge or reasons to be right or wrong or ego reactions or upset emotions or pain or suffering or sickness, which are all acts of IRRESPONSIBILITY, are attempts to get rid of ourselves and to disown who we are, denying the ABSOLUTE POWER that we share with God.
It also means, that nothing real can be threatened! Reality could only possibly attempt to threaten itself, and if it does so, it will make only illusions of threat - pretend threat - because reality cannot be threatened, and nothing can happen to it against its will.
Can you sense the absolute explicit deliberateness of this? This is the thought system of a miracle worker. This is the kind of belief about ourselves that we need to have, or rather, to get rid of the belief that things happen for reasons OTHER THAN yourself. This is RIGHT MINDED THINKING.
The secret to salvation is that you are doing this all to yourself. That's because of all of the above. NOTHING can happen to you against your will. No-one can die without choosing to do so. No-one can suffer or be sick without choosing to do so. No-one is a victim of anyone else. No-one can be hurt against their will. No-one can show "effects" caused by anyone or anything else, unless they themselves PUT the effects into their own body to pretend that someone else put them there.
You are not at the effect of the world you see. You are not a victim of the world. No-one can suffer without his own consent. The secret to salvation is that you are doing all of this to yourself, including making your body sick and die, to try to prove you are not doing it to yourself. No-one needs to die. The dream of separation is NOT left by death, only by THIS TRUTH.
Total absolute responsibility for everything makes you IMMORTAL, INNOCENT, INVULNERABLE, and incapable of death.
As we dive deeply into what it means to be an immortal being, something suddenly becomes clear. If we are indeed invulnerable, inpenetrable, eternal, incapable of even being changed, or affected in any way.... then how is it possible that there can be any kind of suffering that is a PART of us?
If we are this PURE LIFE, which is so alive it is completely devoid of all traces of attack and sickness and death, unable to be even modified in any way, completely permanent and absolute, how can it BECOME anything? How can any kind of suffering be something we have in us, or are made of?
Surely this means that if there does seem to be some kind of suffering - an upset feeling, some loss, some guilt, a fear, a sickness, anything at all which is a form of destruction, it cannot be INSIDE of what we are. It can't be modifying the inherent nature and substance of what we are. So it has to be somehow separate or "outside".
If there is for example a feeling of unhappiness, we can't really accurately say "I am unhappy." Because this means I have become unhappiness. I have changed, and so I am not unchangeable, and I have transformed, and I have modified what I am and how I feel - no longer permanently happy, no longer joyful and at peace, but disturbed and upset and defective in some way.
This points to the idea that we IDENTIFY WITH things which cannot be a part of us, and tend to include them in our definition of me, myself, I, what I am, what I have, what I feel, what I experience. As though to say we ARE these things, that they are a part of us. But they can't be.
The ego on the other hand is a sense of confusion in identity, in which our mind has moved away from being PURE LIFE and has gone off the rails. It's believing that there are now qualities and substances and contents to our self that God did not put there. That we have changed and turned into something less than whole, less than pure, less than perfect.
So the ego then has this sort of view of BEING ONE WITH things which are not of God. Being one with illusions, with pain and misery, with sickness and death, with suffering, with the body etc. It regards them as part of itself and tries to wear them - not just like a separate piece of clothing, but like... to be so merged with it that it thinks of it like it is its SELF. That you ARE a body.
The ego view is this smushing together of mind and form, where identity becomes tangled up in the things which are not of God. So now we start to feel like "I feel upset" and "I am in pain" and "I am guilty" and so on. But this can't be true. We cannot BE these things in truth if we are immortal beings. They can't be a PART of our self, included in ourself, part of our nature or condition. They have to be separate things, outside of us, not even "ours" really.
If we then look when ego is flaring up and there is all manner of upset and hurt and emotions and pian coming out, we should do something which seems to most humans would be insane and unhealthy - to separate ourselves from it. To say, I am not suffering, I am not upset, I am not weak, I am not in pain, I am not having this happen to me, I am not these sensations, I am not these thoughts.
Because all of these forms of suffering cannot actually BE - they are not ways of being - they are just illusions and dreams. What we are as immortal beings cannot suffer, cannot have loss, cannot die. What we are cannot even really be unhappy - which is a form of death. We can't have guilt in us because that's like saying there's something wrong with perfection. And we can't in fact really have anything be a part of us that God didn't put there.
So we have to sort out, and be careful, with how we are identifying WITH things that are not of God, even the way we feel and think. As an immortal being you DO NOT have upset feelings. If there seem to be upset feelings, it is ego, and it is driven by a mistaken belief about yourself being not like God. There is no pain in God and none in me. There is no unhappiness in God and none in me.
"Whatever suffers is not part of me." W248
"Whatever suffers is not part of me. What grieves is not myself. What is in pain is but illusion in my mind. What dies was never living in reality, and did but mock the truth about myself. Now I disown self-concepts and deceits and lies about the holy Son of God. Now am I ready to accept him back as God created him, and as he is." UrW248
"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is." UrW152
"Father, Your holiness is mine. Your Love created me, and made my sinlessness forever part of You. I have no guilt nor sin in me, for there is none in You." UrW235L2
"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss, and I cannot die. I am not a body. I would recognize my reality today. I will worship no idols, nor raise my own self-concepts to replace my Self. I am in the likeness of my Creator. Love created me like Itself." UrW84L2 "I am the holy Son of God Himself.
I cannot suffer; cannot be in pain;
I cannot lose, nor can I fail to do
All that salvation asks." UrW191L7
"I cannot suffer any loss or deprivation or pain because of who I am." UrW58L5
"I cannot be guilty because I am a Son of God." UrW46L6
"The "self" that needs protection is not real. The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?" UrW135L9
You do not need to find the power to rise up against a seemingly mighty external power.
That external power is YOUR power. It's your own power that you have temporarily displaced into the hands of someone else.
You want that other person or group to hold onto your power for you, so that you can disown it.
This makes you think 'they' have power over you, since now you are left with like 10% power to their apparent 90% power. So now you see yourself as a vulnerable victim. And in that victimhood you will experience it as though.... I don't like how these other people have power.
But that's a fucking lie.
You want them to have the power because its YOUR power and you do not want to take YOUR power back from them.
And if you were to take back the 90% of YOUR power that you handed over to them, how much power would they be left with to hold over you?
ZERO!
So you do not need to find the courage to rise up and be like some kind of super opponent to a powerful enemy. You do not need to become some kind of dragon slayer or wage a massive war against a power that is completely fixed in the hands of others.
The war is YOU against YOURSELF.
You play them off as having power over you so that you can create a disguise, whereby it SEEMS like they conveniently have taken it from you against your will, and it can SEEM like you don't have any left. Oh, poor you, weak and powerless. Well, .... you are PLAY ACTING at being weak and powerless, when all the while you are fricking invincible.
So take YOUR power back. Take it back out of the hands of the people you have put it into, and recognize therefore that it was never THEIR power that you were afraid of, it was YOUR power that you were afraid of. You were afraid of it because in order TO put it into the hands of someone else, you have to use FEAR, which is a device for disownership and the illusion of rejection and is the greatest cover-up deceptive lie of all time. Fear makes it look like you are not having ANYTHING AT ALL to do with why your power has been displaced into someone else's hands, when in fact it is precisely this fear that GIVES it to them.
Take it back. Its yours. Own it. Be yourself. THEN.... who is out there with power over you? Who has power over the Son of God who knows that he is all powerful?
"I am not weak but strong". "I am not afraid but all powerful" - ACIM
So now instead of being a powerful opponent, or an equal power in a war, or rising up in protest and conflict with other people's apparent power, now in your empowerment you are invulnerable because THERE IS NO OTHER POWER OUT THERE.
You have the power. YOU are the one. And the ego has no power when you do not GIVE it any. And when you take back your power, you will have to stop being a victim and stop being afraid, and HAVING your power back will do that for you. You don't need to be super brave or courageous. You just need to own up to the fact that all the stuff outside of you that you are afraid of, ITS YOURS. Reclaim it and the fear device has no further purpose of separation and it must disappear. And you must be empowered.
And here is the climax.
Those who are empowered have no enemies.
Those who are empowered are invulnerable.
Those who are empowered are immortal.
Just as being forgiving ensures there is nothing to forgive, just as being awake ensures there is no reason to fall asleep, and just as being loving ensures there is nothing unloveable, so too does being empowered ensure there is nothing that you need to have power OVER because ALL of the power is yours.
If there were some power left out there that is not yours, you would still have enemies. There is ZERO power out there that is not yours. You share ALL POWER WITH GOD.
This is why.... Jesus says repeatedly...... FEAR NOT. You have nothing to fear because only love is real. If you choose to fear, you will STOP being powerful and lose your power. Don't do that.
Be all powerful.
When you move away from love, you move away from power. Love is power. God is love. God is power.
Moving away from love you move into fear. Fear is powerlessnses. It's the attempt to have no power. It's the attempt to be overpowered. It's the attempt to give your power away to someone or something else, who would otherwise have no power over you.In fear, you give your power to something in the world, asking it to have YOUR power OVER yourself. You ask it to attack, threaten, hurt, destroy and upset you. You give it the power to do this in your mind by framing it as an attacker. You want to be punished when you are afraid, and are asking the world to hurt you.
Fear seems to be saying that you do not want something to be happening, but it is DOING the opposite. It is requesting that there be suffering. It's a way for someone who is guilty to ask another to agree that they are guilty, deserving of punishment. As if to ask, please confirm that I am worthless and deserve suffering, and please make me suffer for me.
Being in fear is being away from love, and therefore away from life and resurrection. Fear produces death and sickness. "All forms of sickness even unto death are physical expressions of the FEAR of awakening." Suffering therefore arises from powerlessness, in which you appear to have no power to stop it because you believe falsely that you have no power.
Being afraid is a displacement of your total power onto the world. You give it your power and make it have power over you. You demand that it treat you a certain way, and usually in a destructive or threatening way. You fear in order to give your power away and to become powerless. Being powerless feels like weakness, it makes you freeze up, the life drains from you, you become paralyzed and eventually dead.
Death is a total power loss. It's like you are battery and all the life is drained out of you. It represents an unwillingness to live and an unwillingness to have power over the world. Truly you have power over death because nothing can overthrow your power unless you will to be powerless. "No one dies without their own consent."
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."
Giving your power away is also murder. It frames another person as an attacker and accuses them of sin. It associates cause with them while also believing in separation, and so they appear to be sinful to you - the cause of your suffering. While fearing them, you are attacking them. While feeling powerless against them, you are using your power to attack them. Seeking to destroy another destroys yourself. Seeking to disempower another strips you of your own power and gives it away. You cannot be powerful when you are taking power away from others - either you are both all-powerful or you are both dead.
To become powerful again you only need recognize that you still have total power to choose not to give your power away. You do it to yourself. No-one ever takes your power from you. No-one has power over your will and freedom. It is you who MUST consent to give your power, and you cannot "lose" it accidentally. Reclaiming entails recognizing the secret of salvation, that it is you who gives it away, and it's not the world that takes it from you.
All of your power is God's power. "To recognize that all power is of God is to gain all power." When you disown power you are disowning God, and are saying that you do not belong to God. It's an attempt to take yourself away from God and give yourself to someone else to be the author of you. Then you believe that the world is your cause. And when you believe that something evil and unlike God is causing you, you regard it as sinning against you.
There are no causes in the world. There is only cause in your mind. The world does not cause any kind of suffering. It does not cause sickness or disease or illness or damage or malfunction or death. Only your mind has the power to cause these things to show up in your dream. And it is in your mind that you have total power to undo and reverse and prevent all of these things. If you do not choose to give your power away, you cannot die. Who could see death who is powered by God?
Watch yourself as you give your power away to the world. Every time you believe it is doing something to you, you have given it power. You have framed it as having YOUR ability to cause. You are then afraid of your own power, seen dissociated and projected onto someone else. You accuse them of using your power against you. To believe that the world can overpower you, is to be afraid of power.
And to be afraid of power is an attempt to reject power. This is why fear feels like you're trying to stop something from happening.You cannot be disempowered unless you alone choose to disempower yourself. When you slip into this choice, you give power to the world and it gains the seeming ability to tempt you. But you gave it this ability by believing it has cause, power, mind, alien will, and ability of its own. It has NONE of its own, beyond what you have lent to it. Since you are disempowering yourself on a daily basis, you need to therefore recognize that you're doing this and stop doing it.
You need to take your power back, not from the world as such because it did not really take it from you. You gave it away freely. But you must freely reclaim it by realizing that in your mind there is an activity, an effort, a mechanism of thought, in which you are actively trying to get rid of your power. Every fear disowns power and assigns it to something else. You are fearing instead of loving, because you are trying to be a suffering victim. You are only ever doing this to yourself, and you can reclaim your power at any time.You have in you the ability to reclaim not only all power, but all power in heaven and earth. And then nothing has any power over you at all. When you are all powerful you are sharing in God's power, and nothing can oppose his will.
"God is seen as outside, fierce and powerful, eager to keep all power for Himself."
"It was only my DECISION that gave me all power in Heaven and earth. My only gift to you is to help you make the same decision FOR YOURSELF."
"All power in Heaven and earth is therefore given him and he will share it with you when you have completed yours."
"My father gives all power unto me."
"you are part of God, Who IS all power."
"By teaching the power of the Kingdom of God Himself, He teaches you that ALL POWER IS YOURS."
"He must HIMSELF withdraw that power, remembering that all power is of God."
"I am not helpless, but all powerful."
We are responsible for creating this world, not God.
We are responsible for creating our bodies and everything that seems to happen here.
This entire universe would not exist AT ALL if it were not for Sons of God dreaming it.
Prior to this dreaming there was no universe here. This universe only does and only is what we imagine it to be and what we've made it to be.
We are the ones who manifest and materialize sick bodies. We are the ones who cause bodies to age and die. We are the ones who have invented everything that ever happens in this world.
However.
What happens very often in this world is that we get this idea... I want to be more at peace, I want to be happier, I want to be more spiritual, I want to not care so much about wars, etc.
But where do you go? How do you "get away from" this stuff? When it still seems real to you, when you are still in unconscious denial about putting it out there in the first place, what is your ego solution?
The only solution you have is to create a PRETEND HEAVEN in the midst of hell. To back yourself into a nice cozy little corner and pretend to yourself that you are happy and at peace.
The result of this is a kind of separation which occurs, between you and the world. A separation of causality. It's almost an attempt to disown what you made. It's also a disownership of the fact that YOU are putting this stuff out there.
So if your body is sick, and you decide, well, I'm going to be at peace with this. You are not. You are going to try to pretend that you're okay with it. Maybe to some degree feel more accepting about it. But if that sickness remains, something is not right in your head.
Or like, you are heading towards death, and because you think that this is inevitable and natural and there's nothing you can do about it (yah right), you start to prepare yourself for "accepting" the idea that it's going to happen.
Essentially what you are doing is trying to talk yourself into seeing ego bullshit illusions, appearing real, as if they are heavenly and acceptable. You're trying to pretend that it's totally okay with you if you are still sick and suffering, as a kind of coping mechanism. But these coping mechanisms are ego coping mechanism which not only do not work, they do not fix anything, they simply resign to tolerating suffering and keep the inevitable plan of death waiting in the wings.
Becoming at peace with bullshit manifestations, sicknesses which demonstrate your mind is warped, and death which demonstrates you do not believe in God, is not going to ultimately set you free from hell, nor is it capable of bringing you lasting peace.
There are profound numbers of people in this world who believe that this kind of "spiritual escape" within this "real" world is actually spirituality. It's like, if you can just skew your perception in just the right way, you can see it in such a way that it seems tolerable to you. This is all to do with the ego trying to become comfortable with, accepting of, and having no intention of undoing, the demonstration of attack that it wants to keep.
So you have entire religions who practice things like meditation and such in an attempt to transcend the bullshit, to get to a place of non-duality, where they are okay with "whatever happens". This falls short of waking up from the dream. It keeps you stuck in reincarnation. And it perpetuates death.
People will also believe that their mind is separate from their body and "I am not a body I am free", therefore concluding that I'm not supposed to be a body and the body is not my self and therefore I should kind of ignore whatever the body is doing. This is crap. This is denial. You are putting the body there, in whatever condition it shows up, on purpose, and for a reason. To then put it on a shelf and pretend that you are not the one who made it, not the one who maintains its sickness, and not the one who makes it die, is denial.
This world does not keep ticking over on its own. It is not self-propelled. It does not have a will or a mind of its own. It does not cause anything on its own. And it is nothing but an effect. That means somewhere someone is dreaming this world and making shit happen. On purpose. So there is something faulty about that person's belief system.
To demonstrate sickness is an attack. To demonstrate death is an attack. To demonstrate suffering of any kind is an attack. To have attack thoughts, ego thoughts, thoughts of enemies, thoughts of victimhood, or any kind of ego emotional reactions, is an attack.
These things ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO STAY. If you are waking up from this dream, then you are supposed to stop producing these "symptoms". You are meant to demonstrate that you TRULY BELIEVE in God's good nature, to such an extent, that you will ACT based on what you believe and SHOW everyone what the truth is. This is what demonstrations of miracles are for.
There are no angry thoughts in a loving mind. There are no ego thoughts in a loving mind. There is no sickness in the mind or body of an awakened master. There is no death for those who have chosen immortality, not at the bodily level or at the spirit level. Trying to tolerate these things, accept these things, put up with these things, make these things okay, justify these things, rationalize these things, or make these things out to "not matter because I am at peace" is a delusion, and symptomatic of a mind which still believes in separation from God.
NO ONE in their right mind would demonstrate that you can be hurt, that you are broken, that you can be sick, or that you can die. It is insanity to do so. These things are not something we're meant to escape from into some kind of mental state that appears to be okay with them happening. We are meant to not only realize they are illusions and not real, but to ALSO DISAPPEAR THEM. Illusions recognized MUST disappear, and that means, if they are sticking around when we're claiming to be enlightened, there is ego lurking somewhere.
Beware that the ego has an idea of heaven on earth which is not the same thing as heaven on earth, which is really a fake illusion of heaven on earth, in which you become comfortable or are seemingly not at war with people or you aren't having bad things happen right now or your mind seems relatively peaceful. You don't need to do mental gymnastics in order to be at peace. You simply need to be natural, God-given, the way God created you. It is effortless. And all else follows. Health, happiness, abundance, miracles.
"There is no death. The son of God is free." does not mean the Son of God is okay with the body dying. It means THERE IS NO DEATH because the Son of God does not choose to cause death, and therefore DEATH IS IMPOSSIBLE.
When you are afraid, you might think your primary problem is fear - or the causes of it, and that you need to get rid of the fear.
But the fear isn't the real problem.
The real problem is that under the fear is a NEED, and a DESIRE to be afraid. You WANT to be afraid. That's the real problem. Because that's where all your fear is really coming from. You keep choosing it.
So you become distracted by the fear and think it was caused by someone or something else, which keeps you from really looking at the source of the fear. You don't want to look at it. Underneath all fear there is a NEED to be afraid - some kind of choosing that you want, on purpose. Why?
You need to be afraid because of what is BEHIND the need to be afraid - which is the guilt that you're hiding. Fear seems to protect you from guilt. Or more specifically, making up a story about why you need to be afraid helps you cover up guilt and deny it and hide it. Hiding from the decision to be afraid, hides your guilt.
So don't even think that the need to be afraid is the source of your problems, because behind this need there is guilt.
But the guilt isn't the real problem either.
If you look into it, you think the guilt is caused by something outside of you, or that someone (e.g. God) has found you guilty, other than yourself. But really, behind your guilt there is a NEED, and a DESIRE to be guilty. You WANT to be guilty.
Why would you want to be guilty? You want to be in the guilt because by suffering it head-on it allows you to deny and avoid owning up to any kind of choosing of the guilt, any reason why you might be creating it, and hides the fact that you want it. Experiencing guilt as something unwanted, covers up the fact that you DO want it. You don't want to admit that you want it because that would be admitting that you're doing it to yourself.
Generally you don't want to admit that you are the cause of any of this, because your main intention is to hide from God, to repress your identity, to cover up responsibility for choosing, to make believe that stuff can happen on its own that cannot happen, and to succeed in creating an alternative identity that God didn't create.
Yet even behind the fact that you NEED and WANT to be guilty, there is something else. You need guilt because it covers up your sense of sin. If you didn't tell yourself you want guilt, you'd have to face the sin head-on. The need to be guilty is a made-up story that covers the sin, denies it, seems to protect you from it, and puts more distance between you and the fact you are the one choosing.
So if you were to come face to face with sin, you'd probably be horrified about what you believe you have really done, since sin is the idea that you really did separate from God through attack. But even this seemingly horrifying ordeal is yet another layer of cover-up, because underneath the seeming undesirability of sin, is indeed yet another NEED to be sinful, DESIRE to be sinful, and WANTING to be sinful.
You will explain that you have become sinful because God has been affected and therefore you did indeed do something to God and therefore God has deemed you sinful, but this is just another cover-up. It's another story, to try to disown the choice YOU made to pretend to be sinful. You wanted to be sinful, and you made sin, because once again it allowed you to deny who you are, pretend you are not with God, and put more distance between you and reality.
So sin is not even as much of a problem as what came before it, and that is, the need and desire to be sinful. You are making the sin and causing it, not anyone else. But even behind THIS, there is yet another layer - which is the experience of 'pure separation', the idea that you are separate from God. This might seem to have been the first starting point of this whole charade, but it's not. Because behind the idea of separation there is a NEED, and a DESIRE to be separate.
You WANT to be separate. You want to be separate because you're trying to pretend to be not what you are, and you can't do that while you admit to or own up to the immense freedom you have in God. You want to pretend that God cast you out of Heaven but He didn't. You did, or at least, you pretended to. So it was your desire to be separate, that seemed to make you separate.
Always behind what you are currently experiencing, there is some other truth, some other responsibility, some other fact that you are covering up and don't want to admit to. And the whole reason you don't want to admit to any of these layers, is because of your overall, big-picture ambition, of attempting to be separate from God in every way possible. It's your dream, your goal, your ultimate desire, to be so completely devoid of God that you become an individual with your own identity and your own realm to rule over, without God. That was the entire point of your make-believing that such a thing is possible.
Every step of the way, we shift the blame and put the responsibility for choosing onto anyone and anything not ourselves, but since there is nothing not ourselves, we have to pretend that other parts of our own self are against us. That someone 'else' chose this. And that means having a split identity - a split mind. Which is the ego.All along the way we WANT and DESIRE and CHOOSE every single experience of separation, sin, guilt, fear, punishment and death. All of it. None of it is happening to us whatsoever.
Owning up to everything we're doing to ourselves is the way Home.
"I am still as God created me."
"You are immortal and you cannot die."
One of the major hurdles in the separation, is that it has actually made yourself distant to yourself. There are blockages, barriers, obstacles, obstructions, walls, that have entered as the "split" in the mind, seeming to come in between "you" and your real self. And now you seem to be split off and apart and you do not know who you are anymore. And who you think you are is not who you are.
Since your real self is invisible to you, and the body cannot see it, and it's hidden behind the belief that illusions are real, and this in turn projects as a seemingly solid world that hangs as a veil in between you and everyone, including your real self and God, it really makes it hard to be in touch with the big-picture you.
For example, we should focus on what your real self is like. We should identify your immortal nature, the fact you ARE NOT sick, the fact you ARE NOT insane, the fact you CANNOT die, the fact YOU ARE NOT UNHAPPY, and the fact that you are completely perfect and whole. That is actually true of your real self right now, and always has been, but it is hidden from your awareness.
The mind, in its split state, is in a state of disassociation. And the part that seems like your current conscious self is kind of in the dark about who you even really are. This poses a problem because it now implies that you are not responsible for the state you are in. And it becomes much harder to compare the state you're in to the state you REALLY are in.
If you could SEE your immortal self, things would be so much easier. You would see obviously and easily, that your real self is totally unharmed, perfect, invulnerable, has absolutely no signs of sickness or death, is totally joyful and happy all the time, cannot be attacked, and is still the same as God created it. If you could even just GLIMPSE that for a second it would be enlightening.
If you COULD see that, or even conceive of it, it then would help you to put everything in perspective. You'd recognize that given your real self is TOTALLY HEALTHY, you would instantly recognize that any belief you have in sickness, any suggestion that you are sick, any notion of sickness existing, any damage that seems to be showing up, any mental illness, would all be immediately INVALIDATED. It would be shown to be patently FALSE AND UNTRUE. Because here is your real self, shining and bright and clean and new, and completely perfect. And all support for sickness would be removed, causing it to vanish instantly.
This also brings with it extreme responsibility. Because it now becomes clear that, given your real self is immortal, ANY suggestion on your part that you are mortal, vulnerable, hurt, damaged, sick, unhappy, upset, attacked, threatened, in fear, guilty, sinful, suffering in any way, MUST all be a total lie. It MUST be a way that you are faking it and lying about who and what you are. Just even one little glimpse of the truth about yourself would show you that. And then you would never be able to see these thing in the same way again.
In light of the fact that your holy self IS PERFECT NOW, and in light of the fact that your holy self IS YOU, and your mind is its mind, it really is "something you are doing to yourself" when it comes to any form of suffering. This is why the secret of salvation says you are doing this all to yourself. You are making your sickness, you are making your unhappiness, you are claiming your own suffering, you are punishing yourself, you are self destructive, you are the one trying to make yourself die, and you have given yourself sickness. And all of it is an attempt to PROVE that you ARE NOT who you really are.
The aim of these things, of course, is to KEEP you in the dark and keep your real self HIDDEN. So that you are not aware of the FACT, that what YOU ACTUALLY ARE, IS an immortal spirit being. The FACT that THERE IS NO SUFFERING in you, YOU ARE NOT SICK, and you can NEVER die. The PURPOSE of all the efforts to believe otherwise, is to BLOCK awareness of the FACT that there is nothing wrong with you. To disown your immortality and hide from it, to pretend it's not true of you. That is nothing less than dishonest and unauthentic. It is denial.
How you think of other people works along similar lines. Since you can't seem to see them (unless you have strongly developed christ vision), it makes it hard for you to SEE their real self, the SEE their holiness, their harmlessness, their immortality. Yet it is by acknowledging, recognizing, seeing their immortal self that you become able to heal them. You can see this FOR them, even if they in their own mind are in denial of who and what they are. Even if they are convinced they are sick and suffering, YOU can deny this and know the truth that they cannot be this.
In one way or another, either through direct experience or through concepts, it's very helpful to keep the perspective that your immortal self, and the immortal selves of others, is the ONLY truth about us. And any efforts to suggest otherwise cannot be true. And the closer you can get to experiencing and expressing FROM that truth, the more you can be helpful to those who do not know themselves. You can remember them FOR them, and thus help them to remember they are immortal.
If someone is not loving you, and you are trying hard to figure out why they won’t, and you are desperate for them to love you, you’re not going to be happy.
If you have a need for the person to love you, and they fail to do so, you’re going to be totally stuck. It means that you do not have a way to "get" the love that you are lacking.
Someone failing to love you, even refusing to love you, is not something you want to ALLOW, or accept, if for you having them love you seems important.
Having someone love you can only seem important IF you yourself somehow lack love. The absence of love is not actually in that person, it is in YOU.
And because there is a lack of love in you, you will find yourself asking OTHER people, "why don’t you love me?", demanding that they do so. And yet the more needy you become and the more you demand they love you, the more you will be demanding that YOU love you without doing so.
The lack of "being loved" that you see in the other person, is actually the lack of love that YOU have for yourself. You see it projected onto them. And then you demand that THEY love you FOR you. You think that if they love you, somehow this is how you get love into you. But it doesn’t work.
Even if someone loved you unconditionally, if you do not perceive that there is love IN you already, you will experiene lack and neediness. No amount of love coming from the person will ever be enough, and you will even reject or be suspicious of their love.
You can’t have the other person GIVE YOU the love that you refuse to ALLOW to be inside of yourself. You can’t RECEIVE it from them, because you believe you do not HAVE IT.
Just as ACIM teaches, to have all, give all to all, it is also true that.... to receive love, receive love from the all (God). You cannot get other people’s love INTO you until you are willing to have love BE IN YOU. You will not let love be in you if you have beliefs which say, I am no loveable, I don’t deserve love, I can’t be loved, I’m unworthy etc.
So then while on the surface it may seem that we are demanding that other people love us, as if we want to be loved, we’re actually doing this because WE DO NOT want to be loved. Our protests of "please love me" ACTUALLY is based on, "I can’t be loved, don’t love me." Once again the ego is two-faced.
What we would be horrified to entertain, is this idea.... what if we ALLOW someone to not love us?
*HORROR* *SHOCK* *DISMAY*
We don’t want to allow this, because it means that we cannot use the person to get our "need" met. It also means we cannot have any solution to the feeling of the LACK OF LOVE inside ourselves, which WE BELIEVE about ourselves, and which we’re really trying to have SOMEONE ELSE fix for us. No-one else is responsible for whether you are loved or not!
We really don’t want to entertain this possibility of LETTING someone not love us, because then we’re left holding this PAIN, this lack of love, which seems to be in us. And if they’re not going to take it away for us, we have nowhere to turn to ESCAPE it. Therefore we are left facing how crappy we feel about ourselves, which we were trying to get others to rescue us from.
Some people may especially act like an "enemy", someone who shows no recognition or validation or feeling or agreement for anything you do. They seem to be your nemesis. And so you try to get them to love you. Which they won’t do. Which simultaneously guarantees that you continue to NOT BE LOVED because this particular person is NOT going to be the one to do it. Insisting that they SHOULD is actually your attempt to KEEP your unlove, by finding someone to alleviate you of it WHO REFUSES TO DO SO.
To "let" that person "not love you", to allow them to do so, to accept that they do not, AND THEY NEVER WILL, allows you to DROP the entire FICTIONAL FANTASY of being finally loved, accepted and acknowledged by someone other than YOURSELF (and God).
Letting them not love you is a step toward not looking for love WHERE IT DOES NOT EXIST. It means recognizing that love is NOT going to come to you from where you were trying to find it. It is not out there. And you do not lack it to begin with.
Finally admitting that that special person WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, instead of constantly holding onto the WISHFUL THINKING that you can manipulate them into doing so, will let you DROP this fantasy story that you CAN or WILL "someday" get that person to love you. It is better for you to admit that they WILL NOT, so that you will drop the ILLUSION that you’ve been maintaining, that you NEED to get love from someone else.
This can be very hard to admit to. It is very hard to admit that some people are just NEVER going to get you, or love you, to appreciate you, or see things how you see them. You will NOT WIN THEM OVER. You do not NEED TO.
If you can bring yourself to let go of this insane attempt to achieve the impossible, needlessly, then you are now BETTER OFF because you are starting to be WILLING to look at why you even have this NEED FOR LOVE in the first place.
You have a NEED FOR LOVE, because you believe you LACK IT. You believe this, not anyone else. You may have concluded it based on how other people did not love you, believing that this meant you were not lovable. Realize also that your belief that you are not lovable, is a DEFENSE against being loved by God! IT allows you to position yourself as having a reason "why" God would not love you, so that you can REFUSE love. That means refusing to admit that you ARE LOVABLE. And that comes down to your EGO and your authority problem. That you do not WANT to be loved by God because Love is God’s Will.
There is a lot to admit to here. But the truth is, you do not need love, and will not find it in any other person, UNTIL you are willing to RECEIVE it from God. And you will only be willing to do that if you apply FORGIVENESS to yourself, undo your belief in sin being real, and ACCEPT THE ATONEMENT. In the atonement you accept it is true that you MUST be lovable because of what you are in truth. Because you did not sin.
Trying to get someone to love you is actually your attempt to get someone to undo your sin for you, because you are unwilling to forgive yourself. Which means it is just another way of projecting your sin onto other people to disown it and not be responsible for it. Yes, trying to get someone to love you is a way of scapegoating them so that you can blame them for not being the one who is loving.
The only way you will EXPERIENCE LOVE is to undo your belief in its opposite or its absence. Love is HERE FOR YOU NOW. God finds you WORTHY! God loves you unconditionally regardless of what you think you did. You do not NEED love, you HAVE LOVE.
God loves you. You need do nothing.
Most people feel some sense of unworthiness. Some people feel it very strongly. Unworthiness means you do not believe you deserve to be loved. You're not good enough or smart enough or perfect enough or something enough. There is something lacking about you, something missing or something wrong with you. Something which proves that you can't and shouldn't be loved.
That which you believe is true and real, you will accept and allow and agree with. If you believe that something is wrong with you, that you are guilty or a sinner or are ashamed or remorseful about something that happened, even if you are upset about it you will believe that you deserve what you are experiencing. Whatever you accept as true, you will believe you are worthy of. Worthiness, deserving, entitlement, all correlates to what you accept and therefore allow and agree with.
If you do not feel worthy of love and forgiveness, it is because you believe you ARE worthy of something else. It means you believe that guilt is real. Believing in guilt means you accept that you are guilty, you agree that you are guilty, you believe that you should be punished and not loved, and will agree with anyone who comes along to punish you for you, ultimately on your behalf. Even if it hurts, you will not stop them, because you yourself believe that you are worthy of it.
When you are feeling unworthy or less than wholly lovable, you will experience some form of victimhood. You'll see yourself as unfairly treated, that what you are experiencing is not what you want, that you wish you could have a "do-over" and fix what you did, and that you feel deeply bad about what happened. These feelings seem very genuine.
In particular, feeling very bad about yourself, unworthy of love or attention or credit, feels very sad and depressing and unhappy. It makes you feel as though you are weak and have no power. Maybe someone took your power away. You see yourself as helpless and suffering.
It simultaneously will seem as though someone else has power over you. Someone else was hurt, or someone else attacked you, or someone else decided you are not good enough by not treating you well. Someone else has more than you, and you have less. You don't measure up, you fall short of the standard, you're not man or woman enough, or something is just lacking about you. These experiences are a perception of you being a victim. It seems so unfair, it seems so un-asked for, it seems like what you do not want. No-one seems to love you and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it.
Perhaps there is even something about you physically, mentally or emotionally which seems to be hideous or unacceptable or just not good enough that anyone would love it. Overweight? Underweight? Ugly? Bad hair? Pimples? Poor clothing? The wrong kind of physique? A strange voice? The list goes on of all the reasons why someone would not love you.
In this state of mind, there doesn't SEEM to be anything that you are doing to put yourself into this situation. It seems deserved. It seems like there is no way out and nothing you can do to change it. You WISH that it would not be this way, but you do not see a way out. You don't see how you can escape this, and instead have to avoid the people who judge you and who have decided for you that you are a sinner.
The experience and feelings that go along with this unworthiness or guilt can be deep and profound. You can feel really awful about yourself. You can feel as though God wouldn't love you, no-one would love you and nobody wants you. It seems tragic. You just seem to want someone to come along and rescue you or be a friend or side with you or whatever. But they don't show up. Funny that.
All of these feelings are unpleasant and seem to suggest there is nothing you are doing to put them in place, that you are trying so hard to get out of it and that you just feel really bad about what you did or what you are. It SEEMS like you do not want this, that your guilt is genuine, you feel really awful about what you did, and it seemed so real, you actually caused someone or God to be hurt and it's had a real effect and someone got damaged and there's just no way to undo it.
So now you're stuck feeling guilty, and you deserve it, but your feeling of guilt is almost like a plea for forgiveness or a wish that someone else will forgive you for you. It feels as though you feel really really bad for doing something wrong, a kind of remorse, as though you recognize clearly that it was not the right thing to do, and just feel terrible about it.
But what we now need to address is the fact that all of this is bullshit. There are illusions at play here. There is denial. There is unconscious material which is not being admitted to. There are cover-ups taking place. There is dishonesty. There is irresponsibility. And there are ego devices in place that actually have a hidden agenda and purpose for all of these feelings, which you at first will not want to admit to.
The suggestion that you in ANY way might be using this guilt, remorse, shame or unworthiness for a secret purpose, that you actually might want it to be happening because you're getting some kind of benefit from it, will initially be experienced as a slap in the face. It will seem like a blasphemy, which will trigger you to react with "how could you say that" and "how dare you" as though this is completely the opposite of what you're experiencing. It will seem insensitive.
The problem is that your mind has placed itself into a perceptual experience of being a victim and is very confused and deluded and simply does not see the truth. It does not recognize what it is doing or how it is using unworthiness on purpose. It doesn't want to admit the truth and sees the truth as a threat or offense or attack.
This is simply because, whatever your scope of awareness is right now, which you will believe is full and whole but really isn't, determines what information you have and what facts you are aware of. Although your perception is limited, you see yourself as being aware of everything there is to be aware of, because your awareness only shows you what is within its range right now and anything outside of it seems not to exist. You may not even suspect that there is more to this than meets the eye.
Because of this, based on the evidence you ARE aware of, you will simply conclude (erroneously) that it does not SEEM as though you want to be guilty, it does not look as though you are choosing this on purpose, and you are ONLY aware of the seeming causes of this unworthiness and the consequences it produced, ie the justification for WHY you feel guilty, and the explanation for why it is both logical and sensible to feel this way.
For example if you are aware that someone did something to you, seeming to cause you to feel ashamed, and you see no other causes, you will sensibly conclude that you feel this way because of what they did to you. But this doesn't mean this is the truth or the real reason why you feel this way. There is more truth that is outside your awareness which you haven't admitted to yet.
Or if you did something yourself, you sinned, and thus you feel guilty and ashamed, you will conclude that you're supposed to feel this way because what you did was awful, and therefore it is justified and normal. People refer to this as your "guilty conscience", as though you have this "conscience" which regulates and honestly perceives whether what you do is good or bad at all times. However, only the ego has a guilty conscience, and the conscience has absolutely nothing to do with truth. It is purely based on judgement and ego-based errors in perception, denial and an unwillingness to admit the real truth.
Guilt will always feel as though it is genuine and heartfelt and that you are truly sorry and feel bad about what you did. That is its purpose. It is meant to make you experience in this way. It is, however, a very effective cover-up for a deeper experience which is completely opposite. There are some facts which you are unaware of which would show you that your guilt is actually not pure and sacred and sincere. There are some facts which would reveal that your guilt is actually a device for further sinning and for increasing separation.
When you make-believe separation and move into sin - the belief that separation really has happened in reality - you are believing that you committed an act of murder. Such an act does not happen "by accident". It is deliberate, intentional, pre-meditated destruction. It was on purpose, you wanted it, and you chose it. The whole reason for sin originally was to establish separation from God SO THAT you could go off by yourself and pretend to have your own separate existence, be ruler of your own universe and act like God without God.
There was nothing accidental about that, you didn't do it "by mistake", and it wasn't a cosmic "oops". It was vicious, it was an attack, and according to your belief in sin, which you WANT to believe, it produced a tremendous amount of "real" consequences such as that God has been changed, God has been hurt, God is justified in getting revenge, and you now have no option other than to go off by yourself and hide in a corner.
The purpose of the original sin was to bring about a separation from God and therefore from yourself. It required you to disown yourself. Sin was an attempt to disown yourself by destroying yourself and what you are. Following sin, based on the logic of separation which naturally proceeds all the way to death, you CONTINUED to implement a "getting rid of what I am" mentality. This led to the invention of guilt as a cover-up story.
To disown yourself and to be less responsible for choosing and for who and what you are, you invented guilt as if to say, you didn't REALLY mean to sin, you didn't want to do it, it sort of happened on its own, or God abandoned you or cast you out of Heaven, or it happened to you against your will, or, having really hurt God you now feel sorry that you did it. It's as though you have had a change of heart! Suddenly you enter into this guilt as if to say, I'm really sorry that I did that, I wish I could take it back. But this is a total lie.
Guilt is a layer of denial. It represses the fact that you DID want to sin and you did want to be separate. It covers up the very deliberate choice that you made with an ILLUSION of you seeming as though you couldn't possibly have wanted this. You sinned, you attacked, and then all of a sudden... what did I do? How could I do this? What was I thinking?
Well... this shift may on the surface APPEAR to indicate that you did not want to sin and regret it, but this is not at all genuine. You did want to sin and you will do everything in your power to KEEP the sin in place and never question it and never attempt to be open to the possibility that it can be healed or undone or that it never happened. You never want to let sin be threatened.
Therefore you have to build this fictional illusion that you do not want sin, which actually is an act of further separation. You look at the sin and you try to get rid of it, just like you tried to get rid of God. You separate yourself off from it, judge it, attack it, and tell yourself that it and you have nothing in common. The movement from separation to sin is exactly the same motive, purpose, and goal, as the movement from sin to guilt.
In terms of illusions, the appearance of them as if they are true will tell you, no no, I didn't really want to sin... it was a mistake, I didn't realize what would come of it. Bullshit to that. You actually did know and you chose it and tried to MAKE it happen. And now you then cover this up with a facade of guilt as if you couldn't possibly have wanted this. But this pretend remorse really covers up the fact that you are USING guilt now as a device for not only keeping the sin in place, continuing to believe it cannot ever be changed, but also as a way of disowning it and yourself.
Guilt causes sin to go unconscious. It is your attempt to shut sin out of your awareness and pretend that you do not want it. Your not wanting of something is an attack, using a device of separation to get rid of something. It worked for you to get rid of God, and now again it works for you to get rid of sin. By being guilty and SEEMING to be all ashamed and unworthy and nobody-can-love-me-now, you paint a picture of the reasons WHY sin cannot be undone and WHY guilt is justified, making guilt the truth and protecting sin from healing.
Having blocked out sin, which is the sole cause of guilt, your mind will no longer be aware of the sense of sin. Instead, your conscious awareness only remains aware of this new fictional guilt that you invented - fake guilt, not real guilt. It is not genuine guilt, it is not honest guilt, it is not true guilt, it is completely artificial and a lie. But being unaware of the sin that came before it, guilt is now squarely in your conscious awareness and seems to be the truth to you.
Guilt explains why you should be punished. Guilt also explains that sin cannot ever be undone. It justifies keeping the sin, pushing it into the past, as though it's done and over with, and can never be changed. It puts the decision-maker or cause of why you are guilty outside of yourself, so that you do not appear to be the one who decided to invent the guilt in the first place.
You are guilty because of "what you did to God" or you are guilty because of "how you hurt another person". Their hurt, their suffering, is used as the justification for why you should be guilty, and because you believe (through sin) that their suffering is real, you see it as the cause of your guilt. Lo and behold, you have successfully disowned the power and honesty and choice of being the one who put the guilt in place, and will now come across consciously as NOT being the one who wanted any of this.
In the guilt you'll put on this performance, this sob-story, about how you don't want to feel this way, you wish it never happened, it was unfair, someone else made this happen, you didn't choose it, if you could do something to undo it you would - EXCEPT FOR what would actually undo it - we won't let ourselves go there, believing that because it was a sin in the past it is a given - irreversible and never to be questioned. Anything but that.
Since you then believe you are guilty, you will believe you do not deserve forgiveness. To forgive would mean to UNDO the guilt and question whether you sinned. You do not want that and you have no intention whatsoever of ever going there to look at that. You want to stay as far away from the sin as possible, which is what makes it unconscious. If you do not deserve to undo sin or be loved ever again, you now believe you are not worthy of love.
It is through your own belief that you are guilty, which is you agreeing that you should be guilty, that you will accept and allow the guilt, even if on the surface you will experience it as unwanted. From inside of the guilt, from inside the unworthiness, which means that you are blocked from being aware of love by a barrier of denial, it will SEEM as though this is just a horrible experience that you would never want to choose... because you do not SEE that you did choose it, OR that you chose it on purpose for a very "evil" intention of bringing about the death of the Son of God.
So then you'll experience that you are worthy of punishment and unlove and mis-treatment and being attacked and hurt, because you do not believe you deserve anything better. Your allegiance has to be somewhere, so if it's not to God, it's to the ego - the thought system of pain and suffering and death. Not much of a substitute, but it's your only choice. And secretly, it's what you wanted. Being closer aligned to the ego will allow you to further you plan, which has been in place since the start and never questioned, of becoming a separate individual in your own reality, where death is life and separation from God is absolutely true.
In this unworthiness you will feel powerless, helpless, victimized, profoundly "not wanting" this at all. Or do you? Secretly you do. You are getting away with murder. You wouldn't feel guilty unless you believed that sin is real. Guilt keeps sin real. You wouldn't believe you deserve to suffer and die unless you believed guilt was justified and therefore that you should be punished.
You might seem on the illusory surface not to want the suffering at all, to be not choosing it at all, to be completely averse and horrified and terrified about what is going to happen to you, but this also is a huge bullshit lie. You are deliberately positioning yourself to suffer SO THAT you can continue your plan of separation and death and keep justifying why the Son of God should die.
The more that separation is implemented the more there will seem to be this huge rift between what you APPEAR to be wanting, versus what you are secretly really wanting. And since the ego is a split mind, always there will be a conscious self-will which seems to not want to suffer or be guilty or upset in any way, but there will be an unconscious self-will which is constantly trying to bring about death and disaster.
You actually believe you deserve to die, because of what you did. And you want to believe it. Death is what you want. It's what this entire dream is all about - you choosing death over life, ego over God. And isn't it strange how you flipped from attempted murder of God and His Son, to suddenly now seeming like a victim? Like you went from being the victimizer, to being the one who is being victimized?
Isn't that like a perfect cover-up for a victimizer, to portray themselves as innocent, to show themselves as being the least likely to sin, to fake their own helpless death (suicide) in order to prove that they are so powerless that it couldn't possibly have been them who did it? Their secret sin and hidden hate goes to the grave with them, and is the reason they go there. Who would suspect the most innocent-seeming person of hiding a malice against God which has attempted to destroy all of Creation? Who would suspect someone who is so powerless, helpless, hopeless, weak, afraid, suffering and unfairly treated by life?
It's the perfect cover. It's the perfect mechanism of denial, layer upon layer of projection, disownership, displacement of blame, irresponsibility, pretending to have no choice, and picturing yourself as the least likely one to have sinned. We're all playing this game of who can seem to die without anyone suspecting that they wanted God to be dead. It's the desire to want God to be dead which CAUSES you to die.
So yes, you can feel guilty, ashamed, remorseful and unworthy, and these can seem like such unfair, un-asked for, unwanted experiences. But we have to get very honest here if we want to actually have a chance of being set free by the truth - any hope in hell of actually being forgiven and for this whole mess to go away.
We have to be willing to admit that our guilt is not genuine guilt, or real guilt, or truthful guilt. It is fake guilt, denial, and a cover-story for something even worse. We have to admit also that our feeling of unworthiness is a tremendous cover-story once again for how we couldn't possibly want any of this, life is totally unfair, other people have been really judgemental and mean and accusatory, and how we "don't deserve this".
Those who feel unworthy will be constantly saying "I don't deserve this". Bullshit! This is the conscious ego persona claiming that it doesn't believe you deserve this, and that you are just trying to preserve your integrity and innocence, while unconsciously the ego shadow is hell-bent on staying as unworthy as possible.
You are fundamentally worthy of God's unconditional love all the time forever. But if you can position yourself as unworthy and justify why you are unworthy, this will seem to "explain" why and how you should not be loved by God. But isn't this just another way for you to attempt to assert that you CANNOT be loved? If you cannot be loved, guess what that means? It means that you have STOPPED GOD. And what's another word for stopping God? Murder.
So your unworthiness will be all sorrowful and you'll feel like you didn't ask for it and you don't want to be this way. But you do. You have to own up to that if you want to be free. And typically those who are in a victim mindset will NOT want to ACTUALLY take the steps necessary in order to undo the real problem. They will make HUGE amounts of noise about their desire to have this go away, how they don't want to suffer, and complain extensively about how unfair this all is, but the one key thing that they need to DO to ACTUALLY solve this problem - the undoing of separation and sin, they will avoid at all costs.
And so when you listen to a victimy person, you will notice that they are forever staying paralyzed, they are always staying exactly where they are, keeping all of their problems, keeping all of their suffering, but making huge screeching noises about how they want this to go away. They don't want it to go away. The one thing that would undo it, they do not want. Anything else they want, any other possible pathway or solution or answer they will be open to, but not the undoing of the unworthiness.
How are you going to be able to maintain that God cannot love, and therefore God is not love, and therefore God has no power to love you, and therefore you have power OVER God, unless you assert strongly that you cannot be loved? Your unworthiness is an authority problem. It is arrogance. It is you trying to stop God from loving. You justify it with guilt. You support it with an explanation of having sinned. You want to KEEP all of the ways that justify you being attacked and hurt and rejected and punished, because it allows you to GET AWAY WITH MURDER.
Your rejection of God's love, because you "don't deserve it", is bullshit. It is not true. You DO deserve God's love. You do not WANT to admit to deserving God's love. Your unwillingness to admit that you are USING your unlovability as a weapon, is keeping you in the dark and maintaining your agenda of death. Oh, poor me, I guess I sinned too much, I'm too guilty, God, you might as well not love me, just pass me by and go love someone else, you're really better off not loving me anyway, you wouldn't want to love someone like me, I'm SAVING YOU from unnecessary unjustified love and hurt by me turning away from you.
And so this unworthiness is really a denial of love and an attempt to explain why you should not be loved. Not that you cannot be, but that you should not be. And you will explain that because of your sinfulness, because of your guilt, you really do not DESERVE the love - that you're doing love a favor by saving love from having to love you. You believe the love will not WORK and that therefore you would be causing love to waste its efforts. Or in other words, your deserving to die comes from your attempt to make God die by stopping God's love from extending, ceasing the extension of Life.
It's almost like an admittance that you hurt someone so bad that they really should not love you, they shouldn't even try to, because they would be wasting their love unnecessarily and that you are saving them from this additional loss by not being worthy. So now you are God's savior, which makes your ego happy. So long a you stay unworthy, which SEEMS to be the illusion of wanting to be loved so badly, wanting to be forgiven, wanting to be seen as worthy, it REALLY is an attempt to do the exact opposite - to reject love as much as possible.
If God is permanently loving then you have to admit at some point that your belief in guilt and sin and unworthiness is YOUR belief. It is not God's view of you. You must also own up to and take responsibility for making the DECISION that you are guilty and unworthy, which reveals that you actually CHOSE it and put it in place on purpose, for a reason. You being responsible for all of this reveals the truth that every single part of what you are experiencing is a form of denial, is part of your ego plan, is untrue and dishonest.
You wanted to sin. You wanted to use guilt to cover up the sin and disown it. You wanted to be unworthy of love so that you could reject God. And you wanted to die to prove that God was dead. No-one else decided any of this for you. God didn't make it happen. It wasn't other people who caused you to be unlovable.
This is ALL part of your plan, every step of the way, and you wanted all of it. That means, that you have done this all to yourself, but it also means that therefore, if you change your mind and admit to the truth, you might STOP doing this to yourself and actually have a REAL HOPE of being free from this suffering. Unworthiness is hardly a joyful experience.
You will say you cannot forgive yourself for what you did. You do not want to. You don't believe in your innocence because you chose to believe that guilt is true. And not just because you did something really bad, but so that you could hide your sin and increase the attack on God.
Being guilty for murder is hardly a restoration of the state that existed prior to the murder, and guilt can hardly be said to be an atonement or compensation for attack. If you sin by attacking someone and its hurts them, what are you going to offer to them to compensate them? If you were to offer them love, healing, undoing of the sin, and reversal of all effects, that would be true "repentance". A miracle of healing would be true repentance. But you don't choose that. Instead you choose to go into guilt.
In this world, guilt has been terribly confused with love. People hurt those they "love" (but really don't) then go into guilt. Guilt is supposed to be some kind of position of being sorry, or remorse or regret, and then they will attempt to perform actions which make it up to the person, based on that guilt, as though that will atone for the sin. Guilt is not a gift, it's a slap in the face. It's an attempt to kick them while they're down. It's an attempt to save face. It is dishonest.
If you sin and hurt someone, the response from you should be that you RETURN TO LOVE, so that you can be as truly helpful as possible and heal the problem. And that person, IF they are in their right mind, should encourage you to return to love, through forgiveness, in order to RESTORE the state of innocence and invulnerability which seemed to be disrupted. Thus both of you are now better off. But if you instead move into guilt as your offering of atonement, you're really being selfish and are not atoning at all.
If the person you hurt is not in their right mind and has an ego agenda, they will likely seize the opportunity to notice that you made a mistake and, instead of forgiving you to help you to return to love, they will use this to get rid of some of their own sin and guilt. They will attack you, justifiably, accuse you, put you in the dog house, put limits on you, reject you from their "love", or generally separate from you as a justified punishment. This is a completely insane response and not in any way justified or honest or exhibiting integrity.
This is the ego's version of atonement, that you sinned so you must sacrifice in order to make up for it. You must lose something, you must be less loved, and you must give something away that you value and be at a loss, in order to "pay" for your crime. There is no justice when any Son of God is found to be guilty. Not only has one person been attacked, but now a second person has fallen from Grace and has entered into guilt. So now two people are suffering, which is hardly an improvement.
Being guilty and unworthy of forgiveness is exactly what your ego wants, and is exactly what it uses to pretend to be sorry about what happened. If you are TRULY regretful, you will return to love as quickly as possible, regain your sense of deserving love as quickly as possible, repair the "damage" by offering a miracle of healing, and give the TRUE GIFT of love. This will be a real atonement. This will undo the suffering and reverse the problem and restore peace. But the ego doesn't want that, and anyone with an ego will condemn and demand guilt as though it makes sense. It is insane.
Many forms of "love" are really guilt. Feeling guilty that you didn't do enough, feeling guilty that you hurt your loved one, feeling bad about not being able to help someone, feeling guilty that you caused someone to suffer or lack, etc... these are not positions of honesty or responsibility or repentance or atonement. These are positions of the ego using the situation to reinforce itself and increase separation and unconsciousness and death. And a "crime punishable by death" is the ultimate bullshit.
When someone makes a mistake, it must be innocent, because no-one in their innocent right mind deliberately sins. If it is a mistake, it is forgivable, calls for forgiveness and love and a restoration of communication and communion. It calls for even greater sharing and love, in order to correct the problem of the error in perception.
So at some point when you admit all this to yourself, you will have to learn to drop the entire "sob story" of how you are unworthy and guilty and ashamed and remorseful and regretful. None of these are genuine and every one of them is a dishonest plot to move you further towards death.
This "correct perception" of these perceptual errors allows you to RECOGNIZE these illusions as ego devices and not as truth. If you believe them then you have failed to recognize them, and they will remain. But illusions, when recognized for what they are REALLY doing, leads to their undoing and they must disappear. Therefore there is a healing and a release.
Yes, you feel like shit and unworthy of love, but.... do you want to keep spinning your wheels on this or... do you want an honest, real solution which will ACTUALLY repair the damage and heal you and set you free of this guilt and restore your worthiness for being loved? That is what forgiveness offers you. That is the escape from death that the truth offers you, if you are willing to own up to it.
Unworthy? Ashamed? Guilty? Mad at yourself for what you did? Self loathing? Low self-esteem? Bullshit!
You ARE permanently lovable, permanently worthy, permanently innocent, and permanently forgiven. Your self-hate is not justified. Your attempted self-destruction is not justified. Your guilt is unfounded. Your sadness is completely unfounded. Your fear of punishment is a total lie. And you have not really sinned at all.
God is very happy with you right now. Can you accept it as the truth? At least in your willingness to approach this truth, it may bring to light the ways that you are trying to believe the opposite, so that you can look at it honestly and let it go.
God loves you. Always has. Always will. And there is nothing that you need to "do" to make it up to Him or win Him over or convince Him of your innocence. You do not need to "atone" for a sin that you didn't really commit. You do not need to "atone" or "pay" for hurting God, because you haven't. You're just mistaken, and so long as you want to keep being mistaken God will STILL continue to love you unconditionally. At some time you will be ready to accept that, in truth, you deserve to be loved forever, and you are.
"Nothing you can do can turn me away, nothing anyone can say, 'cus I'm with you now and as long as you stay, loving you's the right thing to do, loving you is the right thing." - Carly Simon
"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It is solely a device of the ego to make you feel DIFFERENT from your brothers and separated FROM them. The ego justifies this on the wholly spurious grounds that it makes you seem better than they are, thus obscuring equality WITH them still further."
1) Notice that it says if you project sin and guilt onto anyone, you WILL ALWAYS hurt yourself. 2) Notice that projecting guilt through attack REINFORCES your own belief in YOUR OWN SPLIT MIND. That's a serious problem because it means every time you attack anyone at all, your mind INCREASES its sense of separation and moves further away from God and from love.
3) Notice that the ego's PURPOSE of projecting guilt is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It accomplishes this EVERY single time that you attack someone. Because "the separation" is taking place between you AND your brothers, as well as between you and God.
The whole purpose of attack, is to use some kind of forcefulness to PUSH AWAY. This is literally an attempt to create "a rift" or "a gap" in between you and others. Some kind of footing that isn't equal, in which you are NOT seen as equal to your brother.
On unequal grounds, you can then claim to be superior, and you can also become cut-off from the seeming consequences of your attack. You go into DISSOCIATION. Because separation really IS a matter of becoming dis-associated from the part of yourself that IS your brother.
"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING. The reason, however, may not be as clear to you as you think. What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
You are ONE WITH your brother, meaning literally their own self is part of your own self. You SHARE an identity. When you attack them you are driving a wedge in between you which SPLITS your mind. Your mind encompasses you AND them. If you attack what seems to be "them only", in an attempt to claim that you are NOT THEM, you split that shared mind and separate it into two. One part you think you retain as yourself, and the other as your separate brother, who is now an enemy.
Doing this hurts your mind. Every time. Every time you attack, your mind splits and puts up a huge wall between you and everyone. In fact we can say it puts you into a self-imposed prison. It makes you anchor into your body and anchors him into his.
The stronger your attack, the more you want to be distanced from the person, the more "spacetime" you invent between you. The gap increases, and the trenches of hell widen. You disassociate from them and see them as very strongly "not me". The stronger this sense becomes that they are not your self, the more your mind is believing in the separation from God.
At its worst, your perception will be totally convinced that this other person is evil, an enemy, hated, you want them dead, you want nothing to do with them, you do not want to be associated with them in any way, you see them as nothing like you, you despise everything they do and say and think, you regard them as not even remotely on the same page or like you in any way, and see yourself as completely separate.
The only way you ever could accuse anyone of anything is if you were to believe that they are not yourself. Because otherwise you'd know that, if they ARE YOU, then attacking them directly attacks yourself. You would have a vested interest in ONLY being kind and loving toward them, otherwise you would literally be hurting yourself. But when you lose sight of the fact that you are joined as one, you start believing that you are NOT them, and this completely justifies all attack, because you think now you can attack WITHOUT BEING HURT.
This is a breakdown in cause and effect, symbolizing the separation between father and son. It's like saying, what applies to you does not apply to me - the golden rule is violated. And therefore what I cause towards you, I do not experience the effects of. I escape the effects because I am not included in you. So now I can attack you and get away with it - get away with murder. This is why Jesus says "What is not love is murder." A state in which it seems like one person wins and another loses.
The way out of the separation from God, literally, is also through the undoing of the separation between you and your brothers. If you keep attacking them you are attacking God AND YOURSELF. If you keep accusing anyone of sin, including yourself, you are choosing to be separate. You literally PUT yourself into a hellish nightmare state of misery and depression by expressing a rage of attack, which tries to enforce the idea that you do not share ANYTHING with anyone.
"Atonement is a lesson in sharing" because we have to open up and learn how to share our SELF with others. That means literally, to become one with the identity of another. To join minds. To share souls. To be one. If I am you and you are me then anything that is in my best interests is in your best interests and our interests are now shared. If you are me and I want to remain unharmed, I cannot attack either of us. If I go into attack I am merely sabotaging my own happiness.
No one can be happy who is in separation. Happiness is a unified state which must be shared openly with everyone. It is light because it is not blocked from shining by dark walls of hatred. To rise above the battlefield is actually to cross over the divide between you and others and therefore straddle both sides of the gap. To transcend the gap, go beyond the walls of the body, and unite with your brother, who is your self.
The rejoining of minds, the healing of the separation between brothers, and the undoing of the sense of exclusion, brings about the closing of the gap, the closing of space and time, and undoing of the world, and the disappearing of the universe.
"Gone is forgiveness, for its task is done. And gone are bodies in the blazing light upon the altar to the Son of God. God knows it is His Own, as it is his. And here They join, for here the face of Christ has shone away time's final instant, and now is the last perception of the world without a purpose and without a cause. For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever."
Whatever you see in something, if you think it is inherently offensive, it is not. The offensiveness is in your own mind, and you put it there.
That can be hard to accept because it means that you've been used to this idea of an objective reality outside of yourself all this time. A reality which has its own inherent qualities and which reports them to you as though they are distinct from your perception.
What it implies now is that what you're experiencing as reality, is in fact a hallucination that's part of your own mind's malfunctioning, that you literally are inventing everything that bothers you, that you are doing all that to yourself.
This implies also that there is no fixed reality out in the world, and therefore there is no inherent truth based on form. You literally give everything the meaning that it has for you.
ACIM lesson #2, right at the start: "I have given everything I see…all the meaning that it has for me."
This means that you are basically inventing every single justification that you think is truth, or that you think is based on objective facts outside of you. It means that, if you want to, and when it suits you, you MAKE UP everything that you think is true.
If you are in favor of something, you will make up reasons why it is a good idea, to support it and lend weight to your conviction that it is somehow inherently right. And if you are against something, you will make up reasons why it is a bad idea, in order to continue to support your belief that the reality outside of you is fixed and has nothing to do with your experience of it.
It can be perhaps alarming to discover that you are literally making everything up as you go along, and that all the things you thought were factual or true are really just your rationalizations. You decide what stuff means. You lend it credibility and pretend that this credibility comes from outside of you.
You think that other people's opinions, authority, certifications, education, experience, or even physical evidence, are all ways in which the world has an inherent truth. You have come to depend on this notion that you are not experiencing the results of your own made up subjective fantasy, but that everything that's going on is happening "on its own" without your input. And because you do not see the ways that you contribute to it or indeed create it, you do not accept that IT HAS NO TRUTH.
This leaves you in a kind of limbo like state where you're kind of just hanging there with no sense of what the truth outside you is anymore. If you're making up all the meaning, and quite literally the entirety of humanity is totally making up the meaning of everything in society as it goes along, then really there IS no inherent meaning outside of your mind.
This means the world is basically either neutral or insane, and that, based on the ego, it CANNOT make sense. There cannot be truth to it, and since it is a mental hallucination, it is nothing better than a chaotic illusion. Trying to "understand it" is an attempt to discover that it has an inherent meaning of its own, separate from your mind. We are very addicted and conditioned to continually look for meaning outside of ourselves, in the world, in order to disown true meaning (God/Self).
This is what happens when you try to figure things out, diagnose sickness, analyze situations, look for what is really happening, try to find proof, explain the background of something, try to identify causes, look for rational explanations or depend on the opinions of other people's authority. This is you attempting to turn an illusion into a reality, trying to convince yourself that you are NOT the one who has given it all the meaning it has, or that it is not just some blank canvas onto which you've projected an entirely fantastical world.
What this means for your mind and your sense of reality is that you cannot continue to claim that there is an objective world out there, and nor does that world have its own meaning at all. It is in fact a meaningless world, and this meaningless world cannot be understood unless you transcend it.
ACIM lessons 10 through 14:
"10 My thoughts do not mean anything."
"11 My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world."
"12 I am upset because I see a meaningless world.
"13 A meaningless world engenders fear."
"14 God did not create a meaningless world."
If the world is meaningless, and God did not create it (thus it is not objective reality), then this shows you that every meaning you see in it is made up but your thoughts, which are themselves meaningless and contain "pretend meanings". These pretend meanings attempt to give meaning to a world which has none.
What you may be afraid to admit is that it is not possible to find truth in any way shape or form in the world, because the world is not real. And that means your mind, your sense of reality, has been believing that it's had nothing to do with what you perceive all this time. When in fact it is the sole inventor of all the meanings that you think the world has.
Everything supposedly "out there" is neutral and therefore if you think something is good or bad or right or wrong or acceptable or unacceptable it is ONLY because you're making up a truth which you try to turn into reality and try to justify to yourself as being objective. It is not. It is subjective hallucination. So if there's no truth out there, it leaves you sort of hanging as to how to deal with reality.
It is as though you create your own reality, which is a popular new-age concept, which also leads on to manipulating the world. But this really is denying the fact that you do not create reality. You are creating UNREALITY. But it's a step closer to realizing that what you are experiencing is coming from you, and therefore what you perceive is not necessarily objectively real.
You're dreaming, and only God creates reality!
This is why in your awakening journey you then have to go through the process of recognizing the part that your mind plays in inventing meaning, how it distorts perception, how you contribute to what shows up outside of you, how you use it, how completely subjective you're being, and how everything that you thought was objectively real is in fact not real at all.
As you do this you will gradually realize more and more that there IS an objective reality, it's just not "out there" as a physical world, and instead it is within, in your Oneness with God. Formless, timeless, spaceless, ageless. The ONE and only meaning. A meaning that has not been fragmented into a billion conflicts. A meaning which hasn't been artificially attributed to an illusion. A meaning which ACTUALLY IS MEANINGFUL to you - that you can feel in your heart, in your very being.
God is true meaning. God is the one and only meaning. All else is meaningless.
Fear has but one cause, not many. It is not caused by what you think it’s caused by. Every single fear in the world has one cause.
When you tried to sin, you may have believed you succeeded in creating real effects. Real irreversible damage. But you had an option. Either proceed forward to guilt, or go backwards to the reversal of sin. Guilt or forgiveness was the choice. Either sin is real and you are guilty, or sin is not real and you’re innocent.
Choosing not to forgive yourself, and choosing to keep your belief in sin, the only option is to condemn yourself to death. Go towards forgiveness and you’ll choose life, accepting that you deserve to be forgiven. Go towards guilt and you’ll choose death, accepting that you deserve to be punished for what you did.
This is where the core root of all fear comes in. You actually ACCEPT and AGREE that you SHOULD be punished, because you’re guilty. The punishment seems completely justified. Your own belief that you deserve punishment for being guilty then creates fear of that punishment. But it’s not a fear of being punished by others. Here’s the secret cause of all fear:
You are afraid of what you are going to do to yourself.
This fear arises solely because you, yourself, believe you deserve to be punished, in total agreement that you are guilty, and having accepted that "it is true" that you really sinned and are therefore guilty. It is your own belief about yourself. You actually "agree" that it not only makes sense, but is completely justified, and acceptable, that you be punished for this.
This is a big problem, because it is the continued development a death wish. It means you want to hurt yourself and you believe you should be hurt.
This is not only the source of all fear in the world, it is also the source of all victimhood. Because at this point, you actually welcome punishment. You actually position yourself so that you can be attacked. You actually make yourself powerless, and allow yourself to be abused. You actually hire people to come along and hurt you. And you actually make plans for being attacked justifiably.
Ultimately then you become afraid of the fact that YOU have it in for yourself. That YOU want you to be punished and to "atone" for your sin. And ultimately the only punishment you believe is justified and worthy of you, is death.
This is not anything to do with anyone else. It has nothing to do with what other people are going to do to you. It’s not even anything to do with the fear of HOW the punishment will come or of WHO will be the one to inflict it.
Typically however you will make your own death wish unconscious and project it and then obsess over this general anxiety about what "someone else" is going to "do to you" against your will. But while you are busy in conscious awareness making plans to avoid your attackers, unconsciously you are asking to be attacked.
If someone were to seem to then attack you would claim it was completely unjustified, because you have made your self-attack and death wish unconscious. You actually think you don’t want to suffer or be punished, nor deserve it. That’s what the facade of fake innocence is for - it covers up you guilty secret. Then you get to pretend you are justified in being angry when someone hurts you, as if you didn’t want it. But you did ask for it, and you did it yourself.
On the surface, consciously, you will experience this as being a victim, as if you are not asking for and do not want any kind of punishment at all. You’ll even run away from it and try to make yourself safe and avoid people and create an illusion of innocence and security, presenting yourself as harmless and that no-one should suspect you of guilt. But it’s only to cover up the underlying belief that you deserve to suffer and die because you believe you are guilty.
It’s pretty grim isn’t it. This is what every ego plans for its host.
But the fact is, you cannot be free of such suffering until you can admit that it is YOU who is trying to do something to yourself. So long as it *seems* as if someone else is the one punishing you, or its your job, or its the weather, or food you ate, or something environmental, or a group of people, whatever, these projections are designed to KEEP your unconscious self hatred hidden. The more you can disown it and project it and see it coming "from" anyone other than yourself, the more you can play the victim role and pretend you don’t want it.
Make no mistake. NO-ONE dies without their own consent. All attack is self attack. You are 100% responsible for what you are trying to do to yourself. You cannot suffer AT ALL if you do not choose to believe you are guilty or sinful. All of your projected causes of fear, which make it look like you’re afraid of what is going to "happen to you" without your will, it is a DECOY for what you secretly are planning to do to yourself.
You have to get to where you are willing to admit to this, if you want to be free of it. It’s you who believes you deserve to die, not the world, and not anyone else. YOU, need to forgive YOURSELF, for what you have not really done. YOU, need to let go of your belief that you really are guilty and deserve punishment, so that you will stop planning for your own suffering while building fake defenses against it.
No-one is attacking you against your will. The world is not causing you. Death cannot happen to you against your will. Remember that all attack is self attack and it is only your attempt to be at war with yourself that needs to be corrected. A belief in deserving punishment, or of being truly sinful or guilty, IS a belief in death and being deserving of death. It is, literally, a suicidal belief. All death is suicide.
Forgiveness is needed, of yourself, to recognize your innocence and to opt to NOT believe you sinned. You do NOT deserve to die, and you do NOT need to be punishing yourself. You DO deserve the love of God and you ARE innocent. All the rest is a mistaken ego belief.
All fear is the fear of yourself.
Here is how Jesus puts your self attack:
"Lay down your arms, and come without defense into the quiet place where Heaven's peace holds all things still at last. Lay down all thoughts of danger and of fear. Let no attack enter with you. Lay down the cruel sword of judgment that you hold against your throat, and put aside the withering assaults with which you seek to hide your holiness."
Trying to be "right" happens when you yourself believe you are guilty ie wrong.
So you first of all believe you yourself are guilty and you're experiencing the guilt. Then, typically, you project the guilt and try to disassociate from it.
So now you see this guilt as being outside of you in someone else, they seem to be wrong etc. And you start to attack the guilt in them.
This is because you yourself are convinced that the guilt is true. You believe that it's true that YOU are guilty. So you are blinded by that and can't see past it.
So as you falsely perceive that the guilt is outside of you in another, you are convinced with a kind of viciousness that the other person definitely is wrong.
But you're really talking about yourself.
Because minds are One in God, you share whatever it is you seem to believe about another. You're really talking to yourself. What applies to them applies to you. So even if it appears they are the one who is wrong ie guilty, you're really indirectly saying that you are.
It only seems to not be about you or "your guilt" because of a disassociation, a sense of unconsciousness, or a block to awareness, which has been erected BY you, in-between your own guilt and your "self". So you've tried to basically disown it, and now you don't acknowledge or recognize that it is "yours".
"You but accuse your brother of your own sins."
So as you're attempting to be right or stand up and be loud and prove that other people are not getting it right or they're wrong in some way, notice that you are actually feeling guilty right now. And it's your own guilt. And because you're convinced that you've sinned somehow, and do not like to admit to it, because you think it's the truth about you, you'll instead prefer to put on a show of attacking it in others by ramming it down their throats and making them wrong. To accuse them of it and hold it against them.
So really, being right is an avoidance of believing that you yourself are already wrong. You believed you were wrong before you even started to fight with the wrongfulness in others. It means you do not want to admit that you believe you are wrong. It's not even really to do with whether you are technically "correct" or "at fault" in an argument, it's more to do with you not being willing to be in a position of "guilt" because you do not want to feel it or let it back into your awareness.
You already have convinced yourself you are guilty, and are trying to avoid it. So even though you're putting on this show of "other people are the one who is wrong", it's all to cover up the fact that YOU believe YOU are wrong.
As usual, the ego mechanism comes up with an illusion which seems on the surface to be the exact opposite of what is actually happening. And that means there is denial happening. The righteousness is trying to deflect away from an actual belief in wrongfulness.
So this is why people who are being "right" do not want to admit to being wrong, and will avoid it at all costs.
What also will happen when you feel guilty is that you will start to deliberately attract and manifest people around you, who you will start to see as wrong, and will start to attack them to prove you are not the one who is wrong. You will start to get into arguments. And to you you'll be experiencing this as though you're just annoyed as shit about why other people are being so wrong, it's all their fault, why are they coming along and putting up resistance so much, why do they not get it, why won't they listen to your viewpoint, and why do they keep denying everything?
Well, it's your own denial, starting to manifest as people who seem like they are in denial. Its your own reluctance to admit to innocence, starting to manifest externally in others as guilt and sin. And it's your own unwillingness to accept the real truth, perceived in others as an unwillingness to accept the truth. What's staring back at you seemingly in other people, entirely "separate" from you, is actually your own attitude about yourself.
The "cure" is simply admitting to the truth, ie admitting to the fact that this guilt is really about YOU and not about them, it's your own guilt which YOU put in place yourself, YOU believed in it, and now you need to question that belief. The belief needs to be found to be FALSE, by you, so that you will let go of this guilt and accept your innocence again.
When you have accepted that you are NOT GUILTY, and are more in touch with being innocent, you no longer CARE about trying to be right, because you know that you are not guilty. In your innocence, you are perfectly happy to be mistaken, and are perfectly happy to be "wrong" if you are, knowing that it does not mean you are guilty, it does not imply sin, and it doesn't make you feel unhappy. You laugh about the fact that you are mistaken or wrong about something and can be the first to admit it. And that means you have no interest whatsoever in finding ways to prove that everyone else is the guilty fucker who needs to die.
You are not guilty but innocent. You are holy and loved. You have no need to be right or wrong either way. You are happiness.
The question is perhaps not so much whether you want to be right or happy, it's whether you want to be guilty or innocent. In your innocence your happiness lies, not in proving that someone else is wrong.
Fear is always produced when you perceive anyone as your enemy.
You cannot have enemies without fear. Fear turns innocent people into enemies.
There has to be a perception within your own self, for whatever reason, which has 'framed' the other person as though they are, can, will, or have done something to you that you didn't seem to want.
This can take on a lot of forms. It can be that someoneis making noises that you don't like. It can be that someone is outright yelling at you or trying to attack you physically. It can be that you don't like the color of someone's hair. It can be that you have a long-standing resentment toward someone for stealing your favorite object many years ago. The entire gamut of human ego experiences fall into this.
So you perceive that the person 'out there', is separate from you, and they are starting to do something, which for some reason seems to be CAUSING ME to experience something less than love, which is starting to have a seeming EFFECT on me. As soon as you perceive this, even slightly, and are having even a slight reaction, you are "under attack".
This is entirely based on, and requires, that you perceive the other person as 'causing you' to be a certain way for some reason. It doesn't even matter what the reason is. Just the mere suggestion that they're doing something 'to you' is enough. Therefore, 'cause' is in them. And if cause is in them, to any degree, then to your ego perception, cause is no longer in you.
It IS possible to see cause in others and to have cause in you - that happens in recognition of Christ and Oneness in all people - but when we lose sight of it in ourselves we DISPLACE it onto others, disown power, start being irresponsible for ourselves, stop being truthful, and enter into a state of unconsciousness, which is ego. If the cause is NOT in you, then you will see it ONLY in others, and that will scare the shit out of you because you have literally MADE YOURSELF POWERLESS by giving your power away. So fear feels like having no power (or hope) of being able to prevent attack.
So basically, ALL FEAR is produced when you perceive someone as being a 'cause' when you are an 'effect'. If you are affected by them, upset by them, don't like them, attacked by them, in any way or form, you ARE believing that you are under attack. You see them as a threat, a danger, a something you do not want and cannot accept. That makes them your enemy. And that means you're now in this... experience, of ego, which feels something like this...
The other person suddenly seems threatening, they approach, your blood pressure goes up, you start to feel anxious and self conscious, and yet at the same time you begin to rise up against the threat in what we call 'anger', and you try to counter-attack because you feel like you're being attacked, and the two of you (egos) come together and 'clash', and are now in a fight or at 'war' with each other, and this is TERRIBLY UPSETTING. You try to fight off the other person but you can't help but feel simultaneously in great danger and threat and therefore very afraid.
Now, the antidote then should be fairly obvious. And it takes the recognition that YOU, not anyone else, but YOU, at some point in this process, YOU decided to perceive the other person as unacceptable, something to be resisted, unworthy of love, in some way offensive, in opposition to you, or representing something you don't believe in, or perhaps have a history of upsetting encounters with you. YOU decided to see them this way. You didn't HAVE to see them this way but you did. You maybe didn't realize that you actually have a CHOICE, and you can choose again.
So you have to recognize the POWER you have, which is the power to CHOOSE, which you DID use, to decide that you would perceive this person as your enemy - in some way. And because of that choice, you AUTOMATICALLY entered into a state of mind in which there was separation between you, a sense of threat and danger emerged, you felt unfairly treated and angry and agitated, and simultaneously FEAR arose. And the strange thing is, that you thought that person was not only causing you to feel this way, but that it was THEM who were RESPONSIBLE for you feeling this way, as though you weren't even contributing to this experience at all. It seems on the surface as though 'they' are doing this 'to you', BUT, the 'it' that they are doing to you, is really ONLY possible because of how you have first perceived them as an enemy.
Perceiving others as against you or causing you or as your enemy automatically makes you a VICTIM. This is absolutely inescapable law. You cannot see someone as an enemy without being both afraid and experiencing victimhood. And no matter how much you are upset about what it feels like to be in that state of mind, and all the feelings that come along with it, and all the fear that floods your system, YOU ARE CHOOSING IT. And it is ONLY happening NOT because of what the other person is doing, but because of how your mind is looking at the situation. Your decision to SEE yourself in the role of victim, to SEE yourself as in opposition, and to essentially see YOUR own unacceptability projected onto someone else, THAT is the only reason why you are upset.
So what happens now is that you decide to take responsibility for choosing. You recognize you DO have a choice, you CAN see the situation differently, you WANT to, and then you do it. That means, realizing the other person is NOT causing this. At all. Not even a tiny bit. This has NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM, EVER. This is all about you. It's your ego. It's your perception. You GOT what you wanted to get in your perception of attack. You GOT WHAT YOU ASKED FOR in asking to be positioned as a victim, and by seeing yourself as one. So if you don't want that, choose not to do that.
Choose to see yourself as not a victim. Choose to see yourself as NOT having this enemy, and that that person is NOT your enemy and is NOT the cause of your upset and does NOT have the power to change you or affect you in any way. Remember miracles..."denies the ability of anything not of God to affect you." So if no causes outside of you can affect you, you are restored to INVULNERABILITY, to IMMORTALITY, to perfect SAFETY, to FEARLESSNESS.
Fear HAS to disappear because you're ripping out its foundation. Its foundation is the mental perceptual construct of seeing yourself as separate from and attacked by others. You cannot experience fear if you do not see yourself and others this way. It is impossible. Fear is separation. Fear is ego. Fear is being a WILLING VICTIM, on purpose, which is why fear - even though it is experienced like some horrible thing you DO NOT WANT, and some terrible experience you SAY you want to end, fear itself is actually YOU CHOOSING TO BE AFRAID because you want to be able to maintain a scapegoat - that someone else is responsible for your life and it's not your fault.
So if you want to wake up and be free of fear FOREVER, you need to take responsibility for your life, your experience, your feelings, your attitude, and for the RESULTS that you get when you 'play with fire', which is that when you play at positioning yourself as a victim, which you do by seeing someone else as your victimizer, you must inevitably experience terror and threat. You do not have to. And if you do not choose to see the situation as though someone is against you or has power over you or is choosing for you or is directly 'causing you', you cannot experience fear. Fear must vanish. And it will.
The instant you take back responsibility for what you're experiencing, right now, fear will massively deflate in a mere moment.
Similarly when you are justifying anger at someone seeming to do something to you, and you realize that underneath that anger there is actually FEAR, watch how that anger deflates and disappears INSTANTLY, because you've shifted to becoming aware of what the real problem is and not its projection. And if you go deeper to look behind fear, you will find your own victimy attitude which got you into this mess. If you can get there, watch as fear dissolves INSTANTLY. Watch as miracles of healing happen INSTANTLY, as you return to peace.
Surrender.
The golden rule is the nature and law of God. In God, everything is equal and shared. What applies to one brother applies to all brothers. What is true of me is true of you. But even moreso, because brothers are ONE, they literally share identity and soul. I am in you and you are in me. We are part of each other. We are irrevocably joined and share everything, even our selves.
We can describe this as the golden rule, in which what I do to you I also do to myself. There is no option or clause that your brother MIGHT treat you a certain way. You treat your brother a certain way SO THAT you are treated a certain way, because you ARE him, and so you are DIRECTLY treating yourself how you would wish to be treated.
There are no exceptions to this and it is impossible to violate or break this law or be outside of it. It is always operating, whether you are accepting of it and living by it, or whether you are attempting to ignore it and pretend it doesn't apply to you.
If we are one, then I have a shared interest with you. Whatever I do to you I do to myself. Whatever I give to you I receive. Giving and receiving are one. If I were to attack you, I'd be attacking myself. Therefore, it's in my own best interests to ONLY LOVE, otherwise I will make MYSELF suffer, and by my own hand. I have to INCLUDE you, otherwise I will suffer from exclusion.
"Ego" is nothing more than an attempt to oppose, deny and ignore this law. It is an attempt to pretend that it does not apply. That I am not you and you are not me. That we are not equal. That what applies to me doesn't apply to you, because we are different. If we are separate, we not one, and now I should have my own selfish interests - survival of the fittest.
It's like, were both standing on the same floor. Then there is a separation, like an earthquake. The floor cracks in two. I now seem to be on one side, and you on the other. But also the heights of the floors have shifted, and mine is slightly above yours. The two floors are now separate and different and not equal.
This is the separation from God, the seeming split in the mind, which suggests that instead of us all being one, we are now two, split apart, separated off, isolated in our own private territories, and kept apart. We can't seem to share because we can't span the divide of the broken ground, and everything we do is separate.
On this basis of separation, or not being able to share, the breakdown in unity, the collapse of oneness, the arising of exclusion, and the seeming imprisonment on either side of the rift, we get the denial of the golden rule. It seems possible now that because I am not a part of you, and am separate and isolated on my own island, I can only now think of my OWN interests. What I do to myself is done to myself alone, and if I throw a rock over at you, it hurts only you and not me.
While I might believe that what I do to you is NOT done to myself, or what is true of you is NOT true of me, it becomes possible to enter this state where we're trying to get away with murder. It suggests I could attack you, and escape the consequences. I could do something to you which is not done to me. I could give something that I do NOT receive, because I am not INCLUDED in it, because I've become EXCLUDED from you. As though giving and receiving are not one.
So the whole ego system is all about this sense of being exclusive, separated off, not sharing, not one, unequal, different, disconnected, dis-associated, and isolated. Our whole belief then shifts to it seeming to be plausible that we can attack without being hurt, or we can accuse without being accused, or we can make someone be guilty to take the guilt off our own shoulders. That no matter what we cause, we can escape the effects. I can hurt you, and not myself.
So this is then what the ego does, all the time. IT HAS ONE MODE of functioning. It's all it CAN do, because it is ONLY the idea of separation. Its aim is to emphasize, enhance, increase, and deepen the sense of being separate, so that IT increases. That's it's only goal. To attack ever more strongly and cause ever more disruption in equality. It's entire existence DEPENDS on the continuation of this inequality, this rift between brothers, and this sense that you cannot share anything with anyone because they're separated from you.
If the two floors or islands were to meet, and reconnect, and level out, and become one single unified space again, the two brothers could be reunited, and all sense of inequality and difference would melt. And ALSO there would have to now be an acceptance of the golden rule, because if we are sharing everything, then what applies to me now also applies to you and vice versa. We are now the SAME. We are one. So I cannot do anything to you without doing it to myself.
The interesting thing is that even when we're in an ego state of believing that we ARE separate, and are not a part of others, the golden rule actually still applies. We can BELIEVE that we are attacking something "not myself", and we can BELIEVE that the effects are being felt ONLY by that other separate person, and we can BELIEVE that we completely escape any consequences for it, BUT WE DO NOT. Because there are dire consequences STILL operating, consequences which are SELF INFLICTED, which CANNOT be avoided.
If you attack another, you STILL attack yourself, because you STILL ARE them. If you hurt another, you ARE hurting yourself. If you try to destroy another, you ARE destroying yourself. You may not REALIZE that you are, because you think of yourself as PROTECTED BY THE SEPARATENESS, as if the prison walls keep you SAFE. And so you think that attacking someone makes you SAFER. But it in fact erodes your safety because the more you attack the more YOU become imprisoned and weakened.
"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING. The reason, however, may not be as clear to you as you think. What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
You cannot be strong without your brother. You cannot be happy without your brother. You cannot be healthy without your brother. You cannot be loved without your brother. You cannot be powerful without your brother. You cannot be free without your brother. You cannot be innocent without your brother. You cannot be holy without your brother.
So if you try to attack in any way, to produce the separation, to make yourself MORE separate, emphasizing the ways that someone else is an inferior evil shit that you hate and who should feel terribly guilty for being so wrong, YOU ARE accusing yourself of this. So you might ask yourself, "would I accuse myself of this?" You will think you're NOT accusing yourself because you don't see yourself as A PART OF the other person, but you are still doing it.
There is a HUGE COST to attempting to ignore the golden rule. The cost is that your mind becomes split, you become self-destructive and suicidal, you become alone and lonely, you become weakened and live in darkness, the world becomes a nightmare of conflict and war, you lose all sense of peace and happiness, communication breaks down and you become unable to relate to anyone, it makes you question whether you even exist, and you will try to destroy yourself. That's a pretty major cost for believing something that isn't true, as if it were real.
You DO have a vested interest, because when you attack you DO experience consequences, even if you do not REALIZE that you do. You may not recognize that every time you attack you feel worse. You may not recognize that when you hate someone you feel awful and guilty.
You may not recognize that when you accuse someone angrily of being guilty of something, to make yourself feel better, you increase your sense of being separate and small and weak and alone. Or that anger hurts your mind and body. You have to recognize what the consequences of attack ARE, so that you will decide that you do not WANT to be murderous anymore, because it actually is not REALLY in your best interests.
The golden rule always applies. It is never broken or violated. You can deny it. If you deny it you will suffer. If you deny it you will be confused as to why your life sucks, and you will probably blame it on someone else, thinking that they are not you, and that therefore you haven't blamed yourself. Everything you do you to do yourself and to all your brothers, to the entire sonship and to God. This is also the secret of salvation. You are INCLUDED IN EVERYTHING. And inclusion is ultimately love.
"Anger is never justified." - ACIM
Anger is not natural. It is very common, but not natural or healthy. Anger isn't really a valid feeling. It's actually a device for projecting something. Usually we use it to project guilt or some other hurt. It's a way of hurling stuff out of the mind and trying to pin it on someone or something else. It's a form of irresponsibility.
Anger is also caused by something other than itself, so it's not like some kind of core feeling or inherent central nature. It's a reaction to something else, twice removed from the problem, and only comes about when denial is also being used.
If you have a pain or hurt or guilt or whatever and you try to deny it, you're trying to dissociate yourself from it, disown it, and want to get it out of your awareness/mind. You do that by projecting it and trying to associate it with someone or something else. And the main skapegoating device used to accomplish this is anger.
Behind anger there is always something else going on. Deeper than the anger there is some kind of hurt or pain or fear. It's very easy for fears and hurts and guilts to transform into what appears to be anger, but this ins't their true form. Anger is always a way of hiding something else.
Not because you actually have anger, but because denying deeper feelings leads to an attempt to project those pains or put them out of your mind, which hurls them outward in a kind of broadcast. If you deny being afraid, you will feel angry instead. If you deny feeling guilty you'll become angry. If you deny that you feel hurt or at a loss or deprived in some way it can turn into anger. But the anger always comes after a perceived attack.
The anger is not a primary core feeling, it's a secondary layer on top of it designed to cover feelings up. You first see yourself as hurt or attacked, you then justify that because you didn't seem to ask for it (weren't aware of how you chose it) you are justified in being angry, and then you use that justification to hurl the blame outward.
Ego likes to use anger because it splits the mind and increases separation and insanity. While you are in denial and projecting pain outwardly your mind is dissociating and splitting and trying to pretend that the pain is not inside itself. But ideas do not leave the mind that conceive of them, so it stays in the mind in a disguised form, hidden behind a layer of denial.
Essentially anger doesn't work. It's an attempt to get rid of something deeper while keeping it. It doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't heal anything. All it does is disguise and hide and make it seem like it doesn't belong to you. It's just a projected form of denial that says "this is not mine."
Anger is always unjustified because it's always based on a lie. But while the lie is kept in place, it seems as though the only problem solving solution is to project the pain. This won't work, but the mind will believe it's working, but that it needs to intensify the projection in order to get more pain out.
By becoming even more angry your mind reasons that it will be saved, or that by pinning the blame for the wound on something else you can be alleviated of the pain. This leads to a closed kind of scenario in which it seems all you can do is rage more to try to induce more relief, and the more you rage the better off you'll be. But this doesn't actually work because the mind is just splitting and becoming more and more insane. Ans besides, rage is not peace and attack will never induce healing.
Anger never ever works. It is a faulty coping mechanism. It's an attempt not to solve the real problem and to keep it hidden. Behind the anger if you look you'll always find something deeper like some kind of feeling of hurt or loss or guilt or fear. Something that came before it. And all you're doing is using the anger to try to make it go away. Anger is like an absence of feeling, ultimately an absence of love.
Feelings of hurt and attack and pain are always based on faulty perceptions that something outside of you has done something against your will, and that you are suffering as a result. This can NEVER be true because you are an immortal being that is permanently perfect and can never be attacked. Nothing real can be threatened.
So it always starts off with your mind going into a self attack, insinuating that you are not invulnerable, disowning the power of decision and pretending you are not the one causing your own experience, projecting out that responsibility onto others and the world, accusing them of sin, resulting in a perception that they're attacking you and you didn't ask for it, leading to hurt and pain which your mind itself puts into you to correspond to the projection, which pictures you as a victim, which justifies being angry, so then you project out anger in retaliation against the feedback loop of your own projected belief. It's pretty convoluted and crazy and a bottomless pit of hell.
You have to get further into your mind and find out the real deeper causes of things, the root issue behind all problems. It's never to do with what the world has done to you and always to do with your choice to perceive yourself unfairly treated, hurt, attacked, vulnerable etc... some kind of victim role that isn't true of your immortal nature. In that sense you are always and only the one who attacks yourself, undermining yourself first and then blaming it on the world. "Only the self-accused condemn."
This is why anger is totally unfounded and completely irrelevant in all scenarios and situations. You simply have no reason to be upset if you are immortal being that can never be hurt, made guilty, caused to be afraid or hurt for any reason. If you are not happy or at peace you have made a wrong decision and have chosen to see yourself as deprived. And no amount of blaming that on anyone or anything will make it go away. But you can always choose again.
I used to attack myself pretty severely through the fear of being judged by others. I was painfully shy and perceived a need to withdraw in an effort to protect myself, but all this did was hurt myself deeply.
My shyness was a coping mechanism for protecting my sensitivity. I had failed to learn how to express myself fully, and it didn't help that I was an introvert. I had trouble learning social skills and asserting myself. Every social interaction was literally painful.
I did not realize what I was doing to myself. My perception was that other people were perceiving me in a certain way, which I was simply trying to get away from.
After a social encounter, particularly one with strangers or where I had to go into someone else's home or be surrounded by a crowd, I would feel deeply, deeply hurt. I would become strongly embarrassed in the midst of the situation, would tense up, become very quiet (paralyzed) and experience things as though everyone was judging me.
I would return home with a very very deep inner emotional pain, a feeling of "hurt", that was so strong I had no choice but to have a deep cry in order to deal with it. Every social encounter seemed like a total failure and something I did not want to be a part of, making me avoid them even more. It was deeper and stronger than any other emotional upset about any other situation in life. It felt absolutely horrible.
When strangers would even walk past I would immediately cringe and feel attacked. I suspected they were a threat, and saw them as enemies or someone I did not want to be around. They seemed to have power over me and I hid away and withdrew in an effort to avoid people.
I had no idea what was happening in my perception or what I was doing to myself. I only thought that other people were hurting me and causing me to feel like shit. It seemed to all be their fault, and they were the ones who we being judgmental.
But over time I have gradually, slowly learned, that this is not the case. It was difficult to come to realize this.
I saw that I was in fact judging everyone else. I saw them as judged in some way, although this seemed to be subtler and concealed behind my reaction to this perception. Seeing them as judgers automatically meant I was judged by them and therefore at their effect. The effects this produced in my own self was the deep hurt.
I had to realize that in order to see them as judgers, I had to believe they were the ones being judgmental, which was in fact my own belief. I was making them out to be judgers. And that meant, I was simultaneously judging my own self by seeing myself in the role of "judged" by them.
It never really had anything to do with other people judging me either. In fact, probably in 99% of cases they were not being judgmental at all. They were not even interested. They weren't saying anything about me or pointing a finger or anything. But I had this "mental illness" of strongly believing that I couldn't go anywhere without being under attack. And it wouldn't matter if someone pointed out that no-one really cared to judge me because they were too busy with their own selfish interests, I couldn't see it.
What I was really doing was seeing myself as judge-worthy, disassociating a part of my mind and projecting it onto others, seeing them as the judger rather than myself, and then creating the effects within myself that correspond to how I perceived others to be perceiving me. I literally was hurting myself. The hurt I did to myself was far worse than anything anyone else ever did, and it was all because of how I was mis-perceiving.
Underneath this fear of judgement there was a belief that I deserved to be judged, because I believed I had sinned and was guilty. I didn't see myself as worthy of love and therefore perceived that others agreed with me. My direct self-attack turned into indirect self-attack that appeared to be coming at me from other people, but was really coming at me from within a part of my mind that I did not recognize as myself.
I was being both the judger of myself, and the one who was judged. Or in other words, a victimizer and a victim. I played both roles but only saw myself as playing the victim role, and unfairly so. The mere act of perceiving oneself in a victim role automatically creates effects in yourself, typically emotional reactions which try to correspond to the causes that you see as outside of yourself. Because I saw others as judging me severely, I felt severely hurt. Truth is, both the perception that others were judging and the hurtful effects of the judgement were both put in place simultaneously by myself.
I needed to forgive myself. And this has taken a very long time and it's been a very gradual slow process. Over the years, a sense of being separate from others has diminished. A sense of being trapped in myself has diminished. A sense of frustration at not being able to fully express has diminished. A sense of it not being okay to simply be the way I am has diminished. In fact, recently there has been a growing, wonderful freedom, of finally not giving a fuck.
This funnily enough manifested in recent hairstyles. It suddenly became fun to play with looking ugly, rather than trying to look pleasing. And I don't mean this ugliness is another judgement, just that, I've found myself being really "ok" with looking whatever way I look without it meaning anything or causing a judgement.
This is so freeing. It now becomes more of a "playful" experience, where it doesn't matter one way or another, and where I'm growing stronger in my willingness to present myself in whatever way I like without caring (worrying) about what people will think of it.
You may have noticed over time that in my writing I now swear a lot more often. I used to be so repressed that I would never swear, and thought I was more special or holier than others by not doing so. It's now more of a pleasure to swear. To some this may seem like I'm turning 'evil' but that's not the case. I'm becoming more authentic and more myself, censoring myself less and recognizing that I am free.
Taking responsibility for everything I am experiencing shows me that I can only be upset if I hurt myself, no-one else is the cause of what I feel, and therefore I am set free of concern for massive people pleasing or not showing up fully as myself. I was trying to be everyone but myself, to be something I am not, and to disown myself. There is nothing but pain and suffering there when we do that.
There are some people out there especially those who are painfully shy, who appear on the surface to be sweet and nice but have a strong persona, a facade of everything being alright all the time when underneath there is a searing self hatred and repression and sense of unworthiness and of not being "allowed" to do anything. It's a state of self imprisonment. I still at times struggle with limiting myself and Holy Spirit having to remind me "you are allowed". I often thought I was imprisoned by someone else in life, but really it was my own doing.
Some of these people who are suffering from self-inflicted unworthiness and quiet suffering, turn to suicide as an escape. My own life became one of depression and despearation and a growing feeling that I was approaching some kind of "end". If I had not met my wife at about that time I probably wouldn't be here.
A sense of an "end" was a sense of intense separation, isolation and being cut off from everyone. I was ostracized "by society" for an earlier "accident", but really it was a way for me to do this to myself, to give me a good reason why I should suffer in silence and be unhappy. I have had to crawl out of my own self-inflicted hell-hole. Some people are not able to do this. There was a guy at my workplace who was similarly shy who no one would suspect was suffering painfully every day through false perceptions, and he shot himself.
I am thankful for the Holy Spirit and Jesus who have helped me immensely to come out of my nightmares and into a happier place. I still have work to do but everything keeps heading in the direction of heaven. A Course in Miracles has been a God-send in terms of correcting my perceptual distortions and helping me to undo the grossly self-inflicted false beliefs that torture and condemn from the inside out. I am so different to how I used to be now that I don't recognize myself in photos.
Freedom and relief from suffering comes from the recognition of what we are doing to ourselves. We are the ones who need to forgive ourselves and undo our own self attack. There is a way out of hell, because we are the only ones keeping us in hell. No-one is keeping us here but ourselves. Fear of judgement is secretly the fear of being judged by God, which is an attempt not to go Home by justifying self attack. But there is a better way. And that means, if we will become willing, we can go Home to God and be happy. Thank God for that!
When we are greatly distracted by, tempted by, and lost in the world, it is hard to recognize the secret of salvation.
"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF."
But the real key part of this isn't just that you are doing things to yourself, rather than it being others who do it. It's that it can ONLY BE YOU who can hurt yourself.
Jesus describes many times that you have hurt yourself. You have hurt your mind. You have attacked yourself.
"Because you had attacked yourself, and BELIEVED THAT THE ATTACK WAS EFFECTIVE, you behold yourself as weakened."
"Although you have attacked yourself, and very brutally, you will demonstrate that NOTHING HAPPENED. Therefore, by attacking, you have NOT DONE ANYTHING."
"By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
"You HAVE attacked him, and you MUST have attacked yourself first."
It is easy to place a lot of focus on other people. On forgiving the world. On healing the body. On world events and problems. It is easy to spend a great deal of time caught up in relationships and dramas. But all of these forms of suffering are really quite far down the line in terms of what came first, and where the real power is.
What comes first happens quickly and so close to home, that it is easy to miss. YOU .... attack yourself....... BEFORE. ... the entire world happens.
"Only the self-accused condemn."
You accuse yourself FIRST. You attack your invulnerability FIRST. You try to undermine your immortality FIRST. You position yourself as afraid FIRST. You make yourself a victim FIRST. You see yourself as lacking FIRST. You condemn yourself FIRST. You accuse yourself of sin FIRST. You do everything to yourself FIRST.
THEN ..... having attacked yourself, the whole thing starts to cascade into projection and blame and dissociation and denial and displacement and various other ways to "disown" responsibility for what you have done to yourself.
"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you."
It then becomes possible to become confused as to WHO did this to you. You deny that you did it to you. You pretend that someone else did it to you. You shift the responsibility. You hide from your own self attack. You don't want to look at the fact that YOU are trying to self destruct. All self attack is an attempt to kill God's son - which is YOU - which is suicide. And eventually this results in suffering, sickness, and death, ALL OF WHICH are self inflicted.
"It means that you cannot be hurt, and do not want to show your brother anything except your wholeness." "YOU CAN BUT HURT YOURSELF. This has been oft repeated, but is difficult to grasp as yet."
"For you HAVE hurt yourself, and made your Self your enemy. And now you MUST believe you are not you, but something alien to yourself and "something else," a "something" to be feared instead of loved."
"Sickness is an attempt to prove you can be hurt."
This doesn't have ANYTHING to do with anyone else, or the body, or the world, or spacetime. It's entirely to do with. ... do you love yourself or not? Do you accept and live in your IMMORTAL nature which is given by God, or do you DENY that you are immortal and TRY to make yourself mortal? The only ambition of trying not to be mortal, is that you try to destroy (kill) yourself. But since your immortal self cannot die, you confuse yourself with a body and kill it instead, as a representation of yourself dying.
"If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves"
"Yet you CANNOT crucify God's Son, for the Will of God cannot die"
"What He created can sleep, but it CANNOT die. Immortality is His Will for His Son, and His Son's will for HIMSELF."
"You are not sick, and you cannot die. But you CAN confuse your self with things that do."
The attack upon YOURSELF, is all the only problem. You thinking that you attack others, is YOUR problem of being confused, and you are mistaken. You thinking that others attack you, is you being confused, and you are mistaken. NO ONE has ever attacked you against your will. You have never suffered against your will. You have never been sick against your will. You have never died against your will.
"Would you not rather live than choose to die?"
"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is."
Salvation, and the secret of salvation, is simply that ANYTHING you experience other than immortality, YOU are doing to yourself. You are the SOLE cause of it. There are no external causes of suffering. There are no external causes of sickness or death. "There are no accidents in salvation." Nothing in the world can do ANYTHING to you against your will. No one can vioalte you or offend you or hurt you against your will. You CANNOT BE A VICTIM unless you deliberately decide to be one.
So this really has nothing at all to do with anyone else. It is entirely to do with .... are you going to forgive yourself, or not? Are you going to love yourself, or not? There is another subtle part to this though. Your soul and your mind are two different things. Your soul is your self, your identity in christ. But your mind is a medium that your soul uses for expression. Your soul does NOT need salvation because it is permanently immortal. It has never been attacked and never will. But your MIND is confused and HAS tried to hurt itself. It DOES need "healing" or correction.
This means that, even your own self attack, even your mind's efforts to destroy you, even your belief in sin and evil, even your death wish, in truth has NO EFFECT on your immortal soul. Nothing changes about the truth of you. Even your self induced suffering is not REAL suffering. Even your self inflicted pain is not real pain. And as you try to kill yourself off, you as the son of God is totally unaffected.
This means that EVEN IF you attack yourself, you are not REALLY attacking yourself. You have not REALLY ever done anything to yourself. "I am still as God created me."
Recognize first that ALL attack is SELF attack. This is not easy when you have slipped down the slipper slope into projection. It has to all come back to YOU being totally responsible for sin. BUT, you must not stop at being responsible for sin because it is not real. You need swift correction, so that you will recognize you HAVE NOT even sinned against yourself. You must admit that YOU are the ONLY cause of ALL your suffering, and decide to STOP HURTING YOURSELF. And then you can receive healing.
This simple truth, that YOU are the only one hurting yourself, and YOU can decide to love yourself instead. .. is the CORE of A Course in Miracles. Once you love yourself, or. .. seek first the Kingdom of God (which is you) .... your way will be made straight. Everythign else will fall into line naturally, including performing miracles, healing the body, and undoing the world.
"The Separation HAS occurred. To deny this is merely to misuse denial. However, to concentrate on error is merely a further misuse of legitimate psychic mechanisms. The true corrective procedure, which has already been described as the proper use of the spiritual eye (or true vision), is to accept the error temporarily, BUT ONLY as an indication that IMMEDIATE correction is mandatory. This establishes a state of mind in which the Atonement can be accepted without delay."
"When you are weary, remember you have hurt yourself. Your Comforter will rest you, but YOU cannot. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW, for if you did, you could never have grown weary. Unless you have hurt yourselves, you could never suffer in ANY way, for that is not God's Will for His Son."
"It can be but myself I crucify."
All that I do I do unto myself.
If I attack, I suffer. But if I
forgive, salvation will be given me."
"As prayer is always for yourself, so is forgiveness given you. It is impossible to forgive another, for it is only your sins you see in him."
"I repeat again that if you ATTACK error, you will hurt yourself."
"To see a body as anything EXCEPT a means of pure extension is to limit your mind and HURT YOURSELF."
"To you the miracle CANNOT seem natural, because what you have done to hurt your minds, has made THEM so UNnatural that they do not remember what is natural to them."
"I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."
"When he thinks that he is hurt in any way, it is because he has forgotten who he is, and that he is as You created him." "If ever I am sad or hurt or ill, I have forgotten what You think, and put my little, meaningless ideas in place of where Your Thoughts belong, and where They are. I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."
"I will not hurt myself today."
"His thoughts can frighten him, but since these thoughts belong to him alone, he has the power to change them, and exchange each fear thought for a happy thought of love. He crucified himself. Yet God has planned that His beloved Son will be redeemed."
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail."
"Lesson 253 "My Self is ruler of the universe. ... It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. ******What happens is what I desire.***** What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."
We're familiar with the idea of scapegoating. Something that seems separate from you happens, someone does something, and then you become triggered. You use the opportunity to project some guilt onto the person to relieve yourself.
But what if we said that the things that happen, do not happen on their own without your consent? What if we say that you cause things to happen, you coerce people to do things, and you put the events in place? And what if the reason you do this is so that you can position yourself as a victim, prime yourself for being upset about the situation, disown responsibility, and project blame for it onto someone else?
Is it possible that before you even scapegoat, you dream a dream and put the figures there and make them act out for you? What if the ego in you seeks to sabotage everything, find people sinful, and condemn them, long before you even seem to be projecting stuff onto them or reacting to them?
"It is the FIGURES in the dream, and what THEY do that seem to MAKE THE DREAM. You do not realize that ****you are making them act out FOR you****, for if you did, the guilt would not be theirs, and the illusion of satisfaction would be gone."
What if you actively seek to set people up for failure, actively try to cause problems to happen, actively amplify suffering and actively want things to go wrong so that you can have an opportunity TO scapegoat? What if life only sucks because you are CAUSING it to distort towards hell? What if your mind is actually INFLUENCING the dream, orchestrating events, changing behaviors, and is causing you to SET UP unpleasant situations?
Jesus in ACIM says that your self is ruler of the universe, and nothing comes to you unbidden by yourself. Whatever happens is what you desire. And what does not happen you have not chosen. This sure seems to suggest that your mind is a powerful creator, that events don't just happen on their own without your consent, and that you actually have a psychological influence over the world. This is your dream, after all.
What we maybe need to be willing to look at, and this is very deep, is that we don't just have a problem projecting guilt onto people, supposedly justified by "what they do", or the sins they commit, but we actually also orchestrate events and manipulate happenings and sabotage proceedings and cause problems to arise, just so that we can have scenarios in which scapegoating becomes possible. We ARRANGE the world into configurations of suffering.
Is it too much of a stretch to suggest that your mind is actually asking for trouble? Or that you are wanting there to be unsolvable problems? Or that you're making your life a living hell on purpose? Or that your ego wants there to be war? That your mind actually induces problems and holds them as real and maintains and energizes them in order to keep you in a position of victimhood, so that you'll be primed and ready to project crap onto all those involved?
What if it's that you secretly want there to be a problem? What if you secretly want to suffer, have unsolvable issues, be confronted with conflict and see yourself as powerless and hopeless and unable to see a way out? What if your descent into hell and your attempt to push everyone there with you, is actually a choice you're making that demands the dream conform to your wishes? What if your desire to see yourself unfairly treated actually manipulates spacetime and world events and people's health and so on, just so that you can keep the lie of "I didn't choose this" going?
After all, how are you going to scapegoat if no-one is doing anything to bother you? How are you going to project your guilt if no-one is sinning or making mistakes? Maybe you have to trip them up. Maybe you have to put obstacles in place. Maybe you actively seek to destroy your life and your relationships. Maybe you want things to go wrong so that you'll find yourself in an impossible situation, a nightmare of your own making, so that you'll seem imprisoned and powerless and can blame everyone else for making you feel this way?
I really do think that our minds are powerful enough that we actually influence events, manipulate happenings, induce and increase problems, make issues persist through resistance, attract even more suffering through fear, and so on. Our minds influence the dream world. Our focus, especially if it's coming from ego on some subtle level, can actually attempt to sabotage and destroy and tear down and constantly throw things into stressful states. Our egos want this, so that we can have the perfect justification for seeing ourselves unfairly treated.
"The mind is a very powerful creator, and it never loses its creative force. It never sleeps. Every instant it is creating, and ALWAYS as you will." We are not idle spectators in this world, we are creators, and our minds are powerful and never stop creating. And while we pretend not to create with or like God, we instead mis-create. And our mis-creations become a world that we make and look upon and react to. It may be completely wrong to assume that this physical world is just some objectively solid real fixed thing, there on its own, doing its own thing. Maybe instead it is a fluid dream fabric which our minds are constantly manipulating, causing things to happen, asking for certain people to show up, putting problems there etc. After all, the world IS an hallucination OUR mind is having.
"People prefer to believe that their thoughts cannot exert real control because they are literally AFRAID of them."
"What if you recognized this world is a hallucination? What if you REALLY understood you made it up?"
I've seen for myself how when I'm in a more egoic mood or angry, more things go wrong than usual. It's not just that I'm annoyed and can't stay patient with everyday things, it's more that there's an actual increase in how many things mess up. If I'm in fear the same thing occurs. Stuff breaks, falls, drops, slips, gets bumped into, goes missing, malfunctions etc, a lot more than usual. As children of God we need to learn to realize and master the fact that we are not just sitting here passively perceiving the world, we are MAKING IT.
Could it be that we actually are far more powerful creators than we realize? Could it be that even in this dream world we are rulers of our destiny and have to learn to create constructively and responsibly, even of dream stuff? Could it be that when we're having one of those days where everything goes wrong it's because we're making it go wrong on purpose?
Could it be that if we master this ability of mind power, mind over matter so to speak, that we could in fact orchestrate what happens, how it happens, who it happens to, and thereby be truly ruler of the universe? And what if when your mind is more peaceful, it INDUCES a life in which events are smoothed out and problems melt and attacks diminish and the so-called physical world actually bends to your will? That "all around the signs of life spring up" as you walk by, simply by the power of your mind to organize and turn chaos into order?
"external conditions are produced by the thoughts of many, not all of whom are pure in heart as yet."
"Miracle-working entails a full realization of the power of thought, and real avoidance of miscreation. Otherwise, the miracle will be necessary to set the mind ITSELF straight."
"He will go before you, making straight your path, and leaving in your way no stones to trip on, and no obstacles to bar your way. NOTHING you need will be denied you. ****Not one seeming difficulty but will melt away BEFORE you reach it.****"
"The scent of flowers is their gift to you. The waves bow down before you, and the trees extend their arms to shield you from the heat and lay their leaves before you on the ground, that you may walk in softness, while the wind sinks to a whisper 'round your holy head."
Projection doesn't just mean you're trying to blame others. ACIM has a much larger definition, and blame is only a small part of it.
Projection is actually a natural function of ALL minds, including God's. Projection really means extension, whereby something that is IN the mind is extended or pushed outward, or in a forward direction. It really means GIVING, and is also a part of CREATING. Blame is actually a form of mis-creation, or an attempt to create destruction.
"Project (verb): to extend forward or out." - ACIM
"We said before that magic is essentially mindless, or the destructive (miscreated) use of mind."
"Miscreation is still a genuine creative act in terms of the underlying IMPULSE, but NOT in terms of the CONTENT of the creation."
"Every mind MUST project, because that is how it lives, and every mind IS life."
"In the Creation, God projected his Creative Ability out of Himself toward the Souls which He created, and also imbued them with the same loving wish (or will) to create."
"the miscreations of the mind do not really exist."
The mind HAS to give ie project/extend, in order to exist, because love has to be shared in order to be what it is. To love is to share, and sharing requires giving, which requires extension, ie projection, which creates.
In heaven before the separation, projection was PROPERLY used by God to create the Sonship, and by the Sonship to create their own creations. Proper projection is also used by the Holy Spirit, in the same way that God does.
"The Holy Spirit, as well as the ego, utilizes projection but since their goals are opposed, so is the result. The Holy Spirit begins by perceiving YOU as perfect. KNOWING this perfection is shared, it RECOGNIZES it in others, thus strengthening it in both." ... "this arouses love FOR both because IT ESTABLISHES INCLUSION." ... "Perceiving equality, it perceives equal needs."
Proper "sane" projection, or the projection/extension of holiness, means that what is in you is seen as extending to and including others. You give love to your brother and recognize that that love is shared by him and is in him, as part of yourself. Thus you see yourself in him and love both of you equally.
Projection is actually a law of the mind which always functions on all levels. God and the Holy Spirit use it share what is true and loved. But the ego has its own distorted USE of projection, which results in trying to get rid of (or project away from itself) what it does not want, rather than giving what is loved.
"Projection is a fundamental law of the mind, and therefore one which ALWAYS operates. It is the law by which you create and were created. It is the law which unifies the Kingdom and keeps it in the mind of God."
"To the ego, the law is perceived as a way of getting RID of something it does NOT want. To the Holy Spirit, it is the fundamental law of sharing, by which you give what you value in order to keep it in your OWN minds."
"Projection to the Holy Spirit is the law of extension. To the ego, it is the law of deprivation. It therefore produces abundance or scarcity, depending on how you choose to apply it."
So there is a natural innate mind function of giving and extending what is inside your mind. This is always there. You give what you have, or are. When the mind is sane, it loves itself, and sees love in itself. It extends this love outward and sees it in others.
But if the mind is not sane, the mind first attacks itself. It regards itself as not loving or lovable. It sees a lack of love, and a darkness. It sees evil and guilt and sin within itself. It is trying to destroy itself. It is in a state of denial. The projective function of the mind then still operates, but now it is trying to "send out" this egoic content as a projected attack.
Since the ego content or insanity is a matter of separation, in a split mind, made of denial and attack, denial and attack are projected by those with egos. Since denial or attack is a way of "not wanting" yourself and God, or not wanting to love, a "not wantedness" is projected ie extended out of the mind, and you "do not want" the stuff you are expressing.
"A second fallacy is the idea that you can GET RID of something you do not want BY giving it away. GIVING it is how you KEEP it. The belief that by giving it OUT you have excluded it from WITHIN is a complete distortion of the power of EXTENSION."
"This is the opposite of the Golden Rule, and having placed this rule upside down, the reverse of miracles, or projection (in the ego sense), follows automatically."
(note here that miracles are EXPRESSIONS ie PROJECTIONS FROM LOVE, whereas "ego projection" is a projection from fear or ego content - as such the proper use of projection is miracle working, ie the sharing and extension of love/life!)
This means that the mind projects or tries to "get rid of" what it does not want, rather than wanting to SHARE or INCLUDE others in what it does want. Since giving and receiving are usually one, projecting love indicates that you have it and keep it, and now both have it and the love increases.
But when this breaks down, we enter into the ego's rules of "either/or" and separation, where EITHER you have something OR the other does. You therefore believe that by projecting your self attack or "unwillingness", you can cause what you do not want to actually LEAVE your mind entirely, to be given but not received. That you can put your guilt, sin and fear onto someone or something else, and disown it.
This disowning is part of denial and also what we call dissociation. You dis-associate from it, by pretending that you can give it through projection and therefore LOSE it. That it can be placed outside of you, away from you. That you can put the blame for your internal "sin" onto someone else and escape it. So now you seem to be blaming your own self-attack, and your attack on God, onto something "external."
The truth is, however, that "ideas leave not their source". And projection does not actually make anything go outside the mind. It is because of the split in the mind, and its denial and its attempt to "destroy" what it does not want (its self-destruction), that there SEEMS to be a gap of separation between what's "inside" the mind and what's "outside".
"This is because their projections have NOT left their minds"
But at all times, all of this content is STILL within the mind. The mind is split, and has simply sectioned off a region within itself to "project" or dump its self-hate, in pretending to be free of it. It is now deluded into thinking that it has gotten rid of sin and guilt by putting it "outside" itself, but this is only because its sense of self has reduced to a sub-portion of the mind. The "outside" is really just the rest of the mind.
To perception, it then seems as if that which you used to destroy yourself, which has been projected outward, has somehow magically been displaced or given into some kind of "external" world, beyond the mind and body. The body seems to then act as the separation device or barrier dividing internal and external worlds, but really the mind encompasses both.
It's very easy then, in a state of dissociation, to believe that the guilt does not BELONG to your mind, being seen as "not inside it", and so it becomes logically sensible to associate it WITH someone else. "You but accuse your brother of your own sins". You bind other people to your projected self hate. You try to accuse them of doing what you are doing. And you see your guilt in them as if THEY own it or are even the source of it.
Since you have "not wanted yourself", and thus attacked yourself with unlove, you project what you do not want (really yourself) outward, and continue to attack it. You now seek to destroy it "in" another person, or condemn them for it. This is an indirect attack upon yourself still. But because you are projecting separation or dissociation, you see yourself as "safe from" the junk you have projected, which seems to exonerate you and render you innocent. This then produces the face of innocence.
"Anger ALWAYS involves PROJECTION OF SEPARATION"
"Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
So in its true sense, projection is a permanent part of the mind's nature, whereby it extends itself and gives or shares itself. The ego hijacks or distorts this by attacking YOU and then projecting FROM that distorted view of you. What is first seen within you as darkness is projected outward as darkness, and the attack continues.
In effect the ego projects TO SEPARATE or to keep emphasizing the dissociation or split in the mind, to try to "keep the guilt away" from you. Thus the more the mind believes its ideas HAVE left it, the more it thinks it is safe and innocent, but its insanity is increasing. The more it projects attack the more it splits itself, between the part it attacks (seemingly in others) and the part doing the attacking, both of which are ALWAYS in your own mind. Separating off from others or pushing them away deepens the internal rift between you and yourself.
"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It is solely a device of the ego to make you feel DIFFERENT from your brothers and separated FROM them. "
So there are some passages in the course where Jesus talks in the big-picture context of ALL minds projecting, the main projective or extending function. There are some passages where this is referred to AS extension and is contrasted AGAINST "projection" in the sego sense - where projection means the ego's projection of self-attack or an attempt to "push out of the mind" what you do NOT want. And there are also other passages where Jesus is talking ONLY about the ego's projection of self-attack. So it's important to be aware of the context.
Here's one final big thing to realize. In the separation from God initially, before there was a world here, and before the Earth, we had a split mind. We already had seen guilt and sin in our mind. Thus we entered into the ego's use of projection. The separation was the belief in the "lack of everything", or love's absence, or the lack of heaven and God - and the idea of death. We projected the "lack of everything", as the idea of heaven's total opposite, outward. This was a projection of the idea of emptiness and NOTHINGNESS. The projection of the idea of separation.
This projected THE WORLD, which "arose" as an attempt to DISOWN the separation, something you DID NOT WANT in the mind, in an attempt to get rid of it, because it was fearful to you. This projection of an illusion of nothingness took the form of a "screen", somewhat like a mirror, a meaningless neutral world, because it was a projection of insanity and meaninglessness. And it seemed to take on the form of error, or sin, producing space and time and bodies, as a natural consequence of the total opposite of God's laws. Planet earth and human bodies were the projected result - a mis-creation or a "world of destruction."
"That was the first projection of error outward. The world arose to hide it, and became the screen on which it was projected, and drawn between you and truth."
"the mad projection by which this world was made."
"We also have observed that man can create an empty shell, but cannot create nothing at all. This emptiness provides the screen for the misuse of projection."
We had "created" an ILLUSION of a world of emptiness, opposing all of Heaven's laws. A world made of the idea of death and of alienation and murder. We then ALSO in a SECOND STEP, projected our inner mental garbage ONTO that screen, which is where "projection makes percpetion" comes in. We project stuff ONTO the "neutral world screen", which GIVES it meaning, and the mind determines what to make of what the body tells us about it.
"The world you made is therefore totally chaotic, governed by arbitrary and senseless "laws," and without meaning of ANY kind. For it was made out of what you do NOT want, projected FROM your mind, because you were AFRAID of it."
"Having projected his anger onto the world, he sees vengeance about to strike at him."
"If you do not want it, it was never created. If it was never created, it is nothing."
"That was the first projection of error outward. The world arose to hide it, and became the screen on which it was projected, and drawn between you and truth."
So in the separation we made an error and projected this error, and the world - spacetime - including all planets and galaxies, arose in an ILLUSION of a world, made of nothing appearing as something. This "world" is really nothing, and we then proceeded to PROJECT ONTO IT, the continued negative content of our minds. This secondary step of projection produces perception, a kind of feedback, in which we project either guilt or innocence, sin or holiness, and this changes how "the world" appears to our perception.
What I see in the course now is that "the world" itself was an initial projection of the separation, a world we made to attack God and heaven. And in the making of bodies we placed ourselves within it to "perceive it". And now we project ego shit ONTO it, either falsely perceiving it, or perceiving it truly. True perception shows you that you have GIVEN (projected) holiness and love and peace, and only BY giving (projecting) that do you see a forgiven world. If you project ego onto it you see a world of sin.
Once you cease to project ego ONTO the world, the "nothing world" - really the absence of heaven - is recognized as nothing, with no sin put ONTO it, and it is forgiven. In this view it loses all of the illusion of "real sin" or "existence" or "happening", and eventually disappears completely. We then wake up in God and resume our REAL PROJECTION of creation in the Kingdom. "It still remains within him to project as God projected his own Spirit to him. In reality, this is his ONLY choice, because his free will was made for his own joy in creating the perfect."
"All of his miscreations can disappear in the well known "twinkling of an eye", because it is a visual misperception."
At first you will see a reflection of God in the world, a reflection of heaven, because the world ITSELF is just a screen and has no meaning of its own. It was a projection of nothing, acting as a neutral canvas on which TO project what you wanted to see. However, upon doing this, the world itself will ultimately give way to heaven, because its total nothingness is recognized.
"But to find the place, you must relinquish your investment in the world as YOU have projected it, allowing the Holy Spirit to project the real world TO you, from the altar of God."
"You can REFLECT HEAVEN here. But no reflections of the images of other gods must dim the mirror that would hold God's reflection in it. Earth can reflect Heaven or hell; God or the ego. You need but leave the mirror clean, and clear of all the images of hidden darkness you have drawn upon it. God will shine upon it of Himself. Only the clear reflection OF Himself can BE perceived upon it. Reflections are seen in light. In darkness, they are obscure, and their meaning seems to lie only in shifting interpretations, rather than in themselves."
"At first you see a world which has accepted this as true, projected from a now corrected mind. And with this holy sight, perception gives a silent blessing and then disappears, its goal accomplished and its mission done."
"Let us today behold earth disappear, at first transformed, and then, forgiven, fade entirely into God's holy Will."
Most people believe that death occurs when something outside of your control happens to the body. Some external cause, an act of nature, some environmental influence, a contaminated food, some attack by some external thing or person etc.
This belief is very strong because it is none other than the belief in separation, it is the authority problem, it is the belief in magic, it is level confusion, it's what happens when you believe you can go against God's will - you start to perceive there is a separate will (God's) that is working against your will.
The belief in "inevitable death" is the belief in God's wrath and the inevitability of the consequences of SIN! The innocent have no reason to die!
It's fairly simple to explain that YOUR MIND IS RESPONSIBLE for absolutely everything that happens to your body!
"The mind is responsible for every condition of the body."
"The body is the IDEA (in the mind) of sin, made flesh and projected outwards (by the mind)."
The belief that the body is CAUSED BY something ELSE other than the mind... no matter what that cause seems to be, IT IS NOT TRUE.
The body is not COMING FROM the external world. It is coming from WITHIN. The mind within is projecting the body outwards. It is the ONLY CAUSE OF THE BODY.
The entire point of the course is becoming aware that you are 100% responsible, in mind, for every single thing you choose and everything that happens, such that there is absolutely NO wiggle room for some other stray "causes" to influence you, in any way, on any level.
"I am not a victim of the world I see" proves this. "The world is but an effect" proves this. "There is nothing that can bring oppression or make you ill or weak or afraid" proves this.
THERE IS NO EXTERNAL CAUSE OF DEATH. EVER.
That means the mind is 100% responsible for whether or not the body lives or dies. "No-one dies unless he chooses to do so." "No-one dies without their own consent." This is very clear. It's a BLACK AND WHITE decision. Either you choose to MAKE the body die by killing it with YOUR EGO, or you dissolve the ego and love the body and CAUSE IT to be healthy and alive and INCAPABLE of suffering.
Many ACIM people believe that there is some kind of separation between the mind and the body. And many popular teachers have taught that you must transcend the body and that it doesn't matter because it's not who you are. And this has also led people to believe that whatever state the body is in, IT DOESN'T MATTER, and therefore you can be at peace IN SPITE OF (and should) any sickness that is showing up. THIS IS BULLSHIT! Who the fuck put the sickness there?! YOU DID. "You made sickness and death and therefore can abolish both"!
This is nothing short of the belief that there is STILL an external cause that can produce effects in you and therefore influence the body AGAINST YOUR WILL, causing the body to BECOME sick and suffer and die. It is none other than the ego belief that the body becomes sick through ANY reason OTHER THAN that YOU CHOSE IT. It is the conviction that sickness and death arise "on their own" through some "natural" bullshit cause "separate from you" ie separate from the reach of your own mind. If that's the case, your mind is STILL IMPRISONED in the body because it has not fully opened to sharing and extending and BEING EVERYWHERE.
This is what we have to own up to. The body's condition is 100% totally UNDER YOUR CONTROL. Your mind projects it, makes it, makes it suffer or well. It has no mind of its own, no will of its own, and no say in the matter. It is JUST A TOOL. It's a teaching device and a communication device. That's all. It does not live or die of its own will. Nor does it get sick by itself or as the result of anything beyond your mind. YOU ARE responsible for whether it is sick or healthy, and whether it is alive or dead. And if you do not OWN that responsibility, you ARE CHOOSING TO DISOWN YOURSELF, and that IS AN ACTIVE DECISION TO DIE. And death will result.
There are no exceptions. The body literally cannot enter into sickness in any form without the mind attacking it or using it for attack. And when you stop using it for attack it becomes healthy. THIS IS GUARANTEED. People believe all too strongly that the body has some kind of permanent existence of its own, its own "history", its own continuation, its own identity, and that therefore it exists independently. IT DOES NOT. It is nothing but a SYMBOL in your mind. It has to OBEY YOU. If it dies, you must have commanded it to die. If it lives, you must have commanded it to live.
The body is a MEDIUM through which you communicate. If you send SHIT through it, it becomes clogged up with shit which interferes with communication and makes the body sick. If you send LOVE through it, the love breaks down and heals the shit and clears it away, restoring clarity. Mind that is extending love IS A HEALER, it heals the body, it doesn't just let it sit there suffering and dying. It ACTIVELY HEALS IT.
THIS HAS TO BE SO. It is the principle of resurrection. God's love HEALS, and restores to life that which HAD BEEN DEAD. In order to do that, love has to have a MIRACULOUS QUALITY of being able to RAISE THE DEAD, ie GIVE LIFE TO that which was dead. YOU, as a son of God, in a dream, could not even get back TO God, having sinned, unless LOVE was able to in some way HEAL YOU and UNDO the symptoms of separation. Love heals. Love shines away darkness and sickness and death are darkness.
LOVE RESURRECTS THE BODY and sustains it in perfect health indefinitely so long as it is useful. "The mind, being sane, heals the body."
So it doesn't matter how much you made the body suffer and be sick and get close to death, THAT CAN BE REVERSED BY LOVE. And this is why the body's condition can therefore be restored to HEALTH (the ego opposes health in every way), and MUST and WILL automatically be restored to health when the mind is healthy.
YOU CANNOT STAY DEAD WHEN YOU APPROACH RESURRECTION!
Resurrection means ONLY LIFE IS REAL and death is an illusion and therefore you demonstrate THERE IS ONLY LIFE IN YOU and no death!
That makes the body a temporarily purified and HOLY device for communicating to your brothers and to bring God's love/word to them, which *guarantees* the body's health.
There is no other power or cause which can interfere with this mechanic. There is no such thing as an external threat or danger. The secret to salvation is that you do EVERYTHING to yourself, and if you do not CHOOSE TO HURT YOURSELF, you cannot be hurt. "You cannot be hurt unless you choose to hurt yourselves."
Therefore NOTHING ELSE besides you can cause your body to be sick or dead. And so if you do not choose sickness or death, THEY DO NOT OCCUR and become impossible.
How else, by making sickness and death impossible, could you ever reach a state of atonement and resurrection where you can NO LONGER DIE and you escape death forever? How do you think that is possible, other than for you to have TOTAL POWER OVER ALL CAUSES OF DEATH? Which means, simply recognizing YOU were the only cause of suffering EVER in your existence, and if you do not hurt yourself you WILL NEVER SUFFER AGAIN and will not hurt the body.
This is what "heaven is a choice I must make" means... you MUST CHOOSE NOT TO DIE by embracing a reality of ONLY LIFE. "Swear not to die you holy son of God!!!!"
And then there is nothing that can take that away from you. This makes the body INCAPABLE OF DYING, and therefore it will remain so long as you find it useful. You cannot make it go away by KILLING it, that is not an option. You cannot make it die in order to drop it! If you think it will just die in time "on its own" you are mistaken. YOU MUST ATTACK IT in order to make it sick or dead, and you WILL NOT attack it if you are sane. So how can it die?
You have to make it DISAPPEAR by shining it away with your mind USING LOVE. This is the loving end of the body and the dream of death is NEVER left by death, only by truth and love.
If you choose to die, that's your choice. It's not because of anyone else or anything else in the world. And it is failure. It is failure to reach resurrection and therefore is failure to reach the COMPLETION of the curriculum. Death is a mistake. It is a WRONG ANSWER to the question of what is the truth. If you come up with this answer, you MUST CARRY ON to learn what the real answer is. Death is never the answer. ONLY LIFE IS REAL.
Let's take a moment to remember our immortality. Forgiveness is based on immortality and symbolises it. If you are immortal nothing can change you in any way, nothing can happen to you, nothing can attack you or hurt you. If that's true, no-one is doing anything to you, nothing has ever been done to you, and sin is impossible.
If we claim ownership of our true nature - to know thyself as immortal spirit - then we are fully centered and holding the reins of our power. But this power and freedom requires total responsibility and ownership of our true identity as Christ.
When we slip and fall and start to displace our responsibility outside of ourselves, through dissociation (separation, split mind), we dis-associate from the immortality and the invulnerability it brings. We start to perceive that power and causation are outside of ourselves, that our own power has done a 180 and is now staring us in the face, doing things to us.
Except now we have disowned ourselves, we have disowned our power, and we have associated it with other people, external things, places and environments, so-called causes of suffering and death. We start believing we can be attacked, we can be caused to change, we can be made to feel one way or another, tossed around on the sea.
Before long this dis-ownership of responsibility has us believing that we are victims of the world, caused by other people, attacked and threatened, made to experience certain feelings against our will, upset "because of" this and that outside of us, things which we seem to have no control or power over.
This all entails a belief in being guilty, because immortality in its harmlessness is also innocence. If we move away from innocence we move into guilt, and you can't believe you are a mortal victim without it. This guilt arises from the self attack upon your own invulnerability, via your own self-attack thoughts. And then before you know it you're projecting it onto other people.
When you are guilty you will become lost and tangled up in what seems to be causes coming from other people. Whatever they do will seem to be about you in some way, causing you, influencing you, commenting on your nature, defining you, condemning you to some fate. A guilty person sees signs and proof of their guilt everywhere.
And this will appear to be actually about you because, in your guilt you become self conscious, with a sense of constant vulnerability. A sense of persecution and being judged, or being constantly under attack and safe nowhere. If someone says something inflammatory about you, you secretly believe it and agree with it. You already decided you're guilty so someone else pointing it out just triggers off your own self-hate. Except now you mistakenly think they're the ones who put the guilt in you.
Then it starts to seem as though what other people are doing is affecting you, that their attacks are really about you personally, that their projections of their own guilt is justified, and that you can be hurt by them. But all they're really doing is triggering off a pre-existing guilt that you put there on your own.
Failing to claim total responsibility for everything you experience, and seeing yourself as disempowered, you'll see others as having power over you to change you. And that means you see them as responsible for you. And that also means you do not recognize that they are responsible for themselves. Anything they choose or experience is their own doing, but in your attempt to disown yourself you also don't recognize they're attacking themselves.
Their self attack seems to bleed over into an attack on you, and vice versa, and before you know it you're all tangled up in a special relationship of mutual victimisation. They're doing stuff to you, you're doing stuff to them, and now it seems like no-one is responsible for anything.
What is needed is a relief from the inner guilt produced by your mistaken decision to try to be mortal. The denial and rejection of God has led to your attempt to make yourself his opposite, to suffer instead of be at peace, to be upset instead of happy, to be vulnerable and weak instead of immortal and powerful. Without the guilt you would not become confused about who is attacking who.
Ultimately we have to take back all of the power that we keep giving away, which requires a total ownership of who and what we are. We can't be playing the role of victim or victimiser - which are the same thing - if we are to be invulnerable. We can't be believing we're doing something to anyone, or that anyone is doing something to us. And that means we have to own up to being immortal, and no longer can claim to be guilty sinners.
In this recognition of your own innocence, you automatically cease to see yourself as a target for punishment. Having not targeted yourself, you are no longer self-conscious or self-absorbed. Having owned yourself and your God-given power, you can no longer see yourself as overpowered by anything in the world.
This recognition leads also to the recognition that other people are not attacking you, they are not talking about you in their attacks, they are not accusing you of anything, and are not doing anything to you at all. Instead, it is a recognition that - just as you were doing this all to yourself (the secret of salvation), they are doing it all to themselves. And this allows you to see that what they're doing is hurting themselves - as a call for love - rather than as hurting you.
This entails a positive "stepping back" or "separating" from the illusion that there is any kind of causation between you and other people, or you and the body, or you and the world. People and bodies and the world do nothing to you ever. What you are cannot be changed by anything or anyone. And your brother is not the cause of you - God is.
Ultimately, accepting that God is your creator, that you are his holy child, and that you are still permanently sustained by his mind and power as an innocent immortal being, is the key to salvation from all suffering. Owning it is total freedom and total responsibility.
Owning it makes suffering and guilt and murderous attack impossible. It is the end of the confusion that anything in the world is responsible for anything you experience. And it indeed marks the end of this world as well, because a world which has no causal power is not alive.
God created you to live forever, and you will never die.
"But the Face of Christ is the great symbol of forgiveness. It is salvation. It is the symbol of the real world. Whoever looks on this no longer sees the world. He is as near to Heaven as is possible outside the gate."
"You are God's Son. In immortality you live forever. Would you not return your mind to this?"
"And immortality is the opposite of time, for time passes away, while immortality is constant. Accepting the Atonement teaches you WHAT IMMORTALITY IS, for by accepting your guiltlessness, you learn that the past has never been, and so the future is needless."
"There IS no change in immortality, and Heaven knows it not."
"Immortality is His Will for His Son, and His Son's will for HIMSELF."
"Immortality is a constant state. It is as true now as it ever was or will be, because it implies NO CHANGE AT ALL. It is not a continuum, and it is NOT understood by comparing it with any opposite."
"The Son of Life cannot BE killed. He is immortal as his Father. What he is cannot be changed."
"Yet, for all the wild insanity inherent in the whole IDEA of sin, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. For the wages of sin IS death, and how can the immortal die?"
"You are immortal BECAUSE you are eternal, and always MUST be now."
"What is immortal cannot BE attacked; what is but temporal HAS no effect."
If someone is not loving you, and you are trying hard to figure out why they won’t, and you are desperate for them to love you, you’re not going to be happy.
If you have a need for the person to love you, and they fail to do so, you’re going to be totally stuck. It means that you do not have a way to "get" the love that you are lacking.
Someone failing to love you, even refusing to love you, is not something you want to ALLOW, or accept, if for you having them love you seems important.
Having someone love you can only seem important IF you yourself somehow lack love. The absence of love is not actually in that person, it is in YOU.
And because there is a lack of love in you, you will find yourself asking OTHER people, "why don’t you love me?", demanding that they do so. And yet the more needy you become and the more you demand they love you, the more you will be demanding that YOU love you without doing so.
The lack of "being loved" that you see in the other person, is actually the lack of love that YOU have for yourself. You see it projected onto them. And then you demand that THEY love you FOR you. You think that if they love you, somehow this is how you get love into you. But it doesn’t work.
Even if someone loved you unconditionally, if you do not perceive that there is love IN you already, you will experiene lack and neediness. No amount of love coming from the person will ever be enough, and you will even reject or be suspicious of their love.
You can’t have the other person GIVE YOU the love that you refuse to ALLOW to be inside of yourself. You can’t RECEIVE it from them, because you believe you do not HAVE IT.
Just as ACIM teaches, to have all, give all to all, it is also true that.... to receive love, receive love from the all (God). You cannot get other people’s love INTO you until you are willing to have love BE IN YOU. You will not let love be in you if you have beliefs which say, I am no loveable, I don’t deserve love, I can’t be loved, I’m unworthy etc.
So then while on the surface it may seem that we are demanding that other people love us, as if we want to be loved, we’re actually doing this because WE DO NOT want to be loved. Our protests of "please love me" ACTUALLY is based on, "I can’t be loved, don’t love me." Once again the ego is two-faced.
What we would be horrified to entertain, is this idea.... what if we ALLOW someone to not love us?
*HORROR* *SHOCK* *DISMAY*
We don’t want to allow this, because it means that we cannot use the person to get our "need" met. It also means we cannot have any solution to the feeling of the LACK OF LOVE inside ourselves, which WE BELIEVE about ourselves, and which we’re really trying to have SOMEONE ELSE fix for us. No-one else is responsible for whether you are loved or not!
We really don’t want to entertain this possibility of LETTING someone not love us, because then we’re left holding this PAIN, this lack of love, which seems to be in us. And if they’re not going to take it away for us, we have nowhere to turn to ESCAPE it. Therefore we are left facing how crappy we feel about ourselves, which we were trying to get others to rescue us from.
Some people may especially act like an "enemy", someone who shows no recognition or validation or feeling or agreement for anything you do. They seem to be your nemesis. And so you try to get them to love you. Which they won’t do. Which simultaneously guarantees that you continue to NOT BE LOVED because this particular person is NOT going to be the one to do it. Insisting that they SHOULD is actually your attempt to KEEP your unlove, by finding someone to alleviate you of it WHO REFUSES TO DO SO.
To "let" that person "not love you", to allow them to do so, to accept that they do not, AND THEY NEVER WILL, allows you to DROP the entire FICTIONAL FANTASY of being finally loved, accepted and acknowledged by someone other than YOURSELF (and God).
Letting them not love you is a step toward not looking for love WHERE IT DOES NOT EXIST. It means recognizing that love is NOT going to come to you from where you were trying to find it. It is not out there. And you do not lack it to begin with.
Finally admitting that that special person WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, instead of constantly holding onto the WISHFUL THINKING that you can manipulate them into doing so, will let you DROP this fantasy story that you CAN or WILL "someday" get that person to love you. It is better for you to admit that they WILL NOT, so that you will drop the ILLUSION that you’ve been maintaining, that you NEED to get love from someone else.
This can be very hard to admit to. It is very hard to admit that some people are just NEVER going to get you, or love you, to appreciate you, or see things how you see them. You will NOT WIN THEM OVER. You do not NEED TO.
If you can bring yourself to let go of this insane attempt to achieve the impossible, needlessly, then you are now BETTER OFF because you are starting to be WILLING to look at why you even have this NEED FOR LOVE in the first place.
You have a NEED FOR LOVE, because you believe you LACK IT. You believe this, not anyone else. You may have concluded it based on how other people did not love you, believing that this meant you were not lovable. Realize also that your belief that you are not lovable, is a DEFENSE against being loved by God! IT allows you to position yourself as having a reason "why" God would not love you, so that you can REFUSE love. That means refusing to admit that you ARE LOVABLE. And that comes down to your EGO and your authority problem. That you do not WANT to be loved by God because Love is God’s Will.
There is a lot to admit to here. But the truth is, you do not need love, and will not find it in any other person, UNTIL you are willing to RECEIVE it from God. And you will only be willing to do that if you apply FORGIVENESS to yourself, undo your belief in sin being real, and ACCEPT THE ATONEMENT. In the atonement you accept it is true that you MUST be lovable because of what you are in truth. Because you did not sin.
Trying to get someone to love you is actually your attempt to get someone to undo your sin for you, because you are unwilling to forgive yourself. Which means it is just another way of projecting your sin onto other people to disown it and not be responsible for it. Yes, trying to get someone to love you is a way of scapegoating them so that you can blame them for not being the one who is loving.
The only way you will EXPERIENCE LOVE is to undo your belief in its opposite or its absence. Love is HERE FOR YOU NOW. God finds you WORTHY! God loves you unconditionally regardless of what you think you did. You do not NEED love, you HAVE LOVE.
God loves you. You need do nothing.
God created you as a holy child of God. He gave you an individual soul with a mind and a free will. God has many creative children, forming the family of God.
"The soul is the idea of self fullness." It's the idea that you are fully a self, and that the whole of your soul/self is shared with the fullness of the Kingdom of God.
"We have also emphasized that man, insofar as the term relates to Soul, has not only been fully Created, but also been created perfect. There is no emptiness in him."
The idea of separation is simply an idea of denial. It's an attempt to deny and block reality. In a way, it's an attempt to disown what you are. Its a refusal to accept yourself as God created you. It's an attempt to NOT will, moving into unwillingness and imprisonment.
This means, "the ego" is not really the production of an additional self, or the manufacture of a first-and-only self. It is in fact the idea of NOT HAVING A SELF. It is self denial.
The ego is also the attempt to not be yourself. Being a denial of your soul, it's a withdrawal away from the awareness of what you are. As a rejection of light, this throws you into what seems to be the illusion of darkness.
Generally speaking, your soul is infinite and unlimited. It is everywhere, like God, sharing all of existence with Him. God occupies all "space" in the Kingdom and so does your soul in an "overlapping", sharing union.
In the idea of denial of self, you become withdrawn from being everywhere. You attempt to isolate yourself, to not share, to close down, to possess some small part of yourself which you claim is yours alone and NOT shared with the rest. It's the idea of having something exclusively yours which is unique and different and not accessible to anyone else.
This really is the idea of selfishness, the desire to have something special that no-one else has.
"The ego is the idea of selfishness." An idea of selfishness is NOT the idea of A SELF, it's the idea of a self having a poor attitude and not wanting to share with others.
But we have to frame this correctly. The ego is not a self. The ego is the idea of what you are NOT. It's the idea of NOT HAVING a self. It only SEEMS to be "a something" that you made, when in fact it is NOTHING. The belief that it has existence IS a state of deception, believing illusions are true. The ego is NOT really a self at all.
The ego, or egotism, is really the idea of self destruction, which is why the entire system of thought is centered on and leads towards death - the destruction of your self.
In death you are attempting to finish off the intention of becoming completely unwilling to exist. This is a selfish act. And it is there that the so-called ego reaches its climax. In essence, by trying to be selfish, a soul/mind tries to have private ownership, and ends up losing everything instead.
So it's not so much that we really made an ego. We didn't really invent a separate self. We didn't start out with no self and come up with a new self. We HAD a self before the separation and WILL have a self afterwards. Every soul that God created has individuality and eternal life.
The problem is not a matter of whether or not you have a self or are an individual being. The problem is a matter of whether you are willing to SHARE EXISTENCE with all of the rest of creation.
To be the fullness of the soul, you have to expand infinitely and unlimited. You have to be open to allowing access to YOU by everyone else, and to have access to everyone else. To join minds, to share all that exists, you cannot be closed off, isolated, excluded or imprisoned.
So by "going into egotism", we basically "made an ego" but only in the sense that we really did NOT create anything. Th ego has not been created, and in fact it does not exist at all. Not only is the ego the idea of what you would be if you did not exist, it also does not exist. In essence, "the separate self" is total fiction and DOES NOT EXIST. The belief that you ARE IT, is a mistaken belief and needs correction.
So you really can't be the ego, but you can believe you are. You can't be not yourself, but you can pretend to be. You can't lose your soul, but you can think you gain the whole world and lose it all anyway. You can't stop being as God created you, but you can dream of being something you're not.
The ego isn't the idea of a self. It's not a separate self. It's the idea of NOT a self, of NO self. An illusion that appears o be a something, but is a nothing. Believing that the ego is a self, or that you have an ego, is an upside-down belief. It suggests that in reality there is no self, and in illusions there are selves. This is an EGO perspective, having bought into the illusion that the ego state is a state of existence, not recognizing it as NON existence.
If you think that awakening means the end of self, due to the end of ego, you are thinking upside down. Selves ONLY exist in the Kingdom of God, NOT in the world of illusions. All illusory selves DO NOT exist, all REAL selves do exist.
"The Kingdom of God includes all His children, and their creations."
The Kingdom of ego death contains NO selves. Selves attempting to destroy themselves and ending in death.
This world of ego perspectives is merely a world of pretend selves, blocking and covering up the world of real selves. Trying to end self is just another extension of the ego's suicidal approach resulting in SELF DENIAL. Rejecting the soul results in death, not life. The ego does need to be "let go", but since it was never who you were to begin with, this is a loss of NOTHING. You give up nothing, to gain everything.
Recognizing that this no-self does not exist, and that you are the self God created, is the atonement. The ego doesn't have to "die" because it never existed in the first place. All we really need to do is stop pretending to be OTHER than the self that God created, or opposed to our self in any way.
Jesus also clarifies that our sense of self will EXPAND as we awaken. It will expand to INCLUDE all of the brothers and creations that we tried to deny. And it will expand to include the infinite immortal soul that you forgot is who you really are.
Losing the ego isn't the end of you. It's a return to your self. It's a reclamation of your immortal identity - still a God created you.
The separate self is really just the idea of being a SEPARATED self.. a self that had a self before the separation, which BECAME separated due to a lack of sharing, and will RESUME sharing and cease being separated after the atonement. This is why Jesus refers to such selves as "separated ones", NOT "separate ones". Just because you are separated does not mean you throw out your self when the "separateness" ends.
Awakening is a return to your real self. An acceptance that you are as God created you. A remembering of your soul.
"NOTHING can prevail against a Son of God who commends his Spirit into the hands of His Father. By doing this, the mind awakens from its sleep, and the Soul remembers its Creator. All sense of Separation disappears, and level confusion vanishes."
"Separation" does not mean that which allows there to be many. It means that which keeps many things from sharing anything.
"God who encompasses all being nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually and want to share it to increase their joy."
We are all permanent beings in the heart of God.
When you are angry, you are using projection to try to make someone guilty. It's really an attempt to take some guilt or pain or upset from inside of you and push it out onto the world.
"ALL anger is nothing more than an attempt to MAKE SOMEONE FEEL GUILTY."
When you do this, if you watch carefully, you may notice a sensation of "separating off". While it seems like you are attacking outwardly, as if pushing something onto the world, you also feel a sense of withdrawing, distancing, stepping away. As though you are breaking off from the thing you're attacking and being more separate from it.
Although the feeling you have may be one of hurt or pain or guilt or justified anger, which you're trying to accuse someone else of, the actual side effect is that you are attacking yourself from the outside in and pulling yourself away from others. So you simultaneously are pushing and pulling at the same time, which splits the mind, like ripping it apart. It's this splitting that actually produces suffering.
"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It is solely a device of the ego to make you feel DIFFERENT from your brothers and separated FROM them."
What this means is that you are trying to "separate from" what you see. In the workbook there is a curious lesson which speaks of you joining with what you see instead.
"For vision CAN but represent a wish, because it has NO power to create. Yet it can look with love or look with hate, depending only on the simple choice of whether you would JOIN with what you see, or keep yourself apart and separate."
"Today we are trying to use the new kind of projection. We are not attempting to get rid of what we do not like by seeing it outside. Instead, we are trying to see in the world what is in our minds, and what we want to recognize is there. Thus we are trying to join with what we see, rather than keeping it apart from us. That is the fundamental difference between vision and the way you see."
When I first read this in Lesson 30 I had no clue what it meant by "joining with what you see." Like, how do you do that? How do you join with a world which is supposed to be an illusion? How am I not joining now? Surely I'm not separated off, in a position to need to join?
But for sure when we are angry and expressing ego pain we are indeed separating off. We attack in anger and hatred. We make everything an enemy. We make the whole world wrong and condemn it for its shortcomings. And while doing this, our own mind is actually splitting.
The split then seems to take place between you and the other, or you and the world, not realizing that part of your mind includes them and is in them. So you split off from the fact that you are here AND there. And then you see yourself as only here, and not there. This is something you can actually notice happening in your mind while you do this.
To join with what you see then means to stop attacking, stop splitting, stop projecting guilt, stop making guilty, and essentially, "stop separating."
The separation from God wasn't just some ancient moment of leaving heaven. It was a movement into a dissociated state in which your mind becomes split, and then attempts to continue that state indefinitely. The separation was the beginning of the war upon yourself, and the ego tries to keep it going.
It is something that takes place in your mind between your mind and itself. It's actually a form of dissociation. It's a way whereby you experience internal conflict and attack upon yourself, split off part of yourself and see it as a separate enemy.
"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING."
So notice here that Jesus is saying we've put ourselves into a separated state by attacking ourselves and splitting our mind, AND then we KEEP IT GOING, by projecting it through hate onto what SEEMS to be stuff outside or separate from yourself, in order to REINFORCE the idea that "it" IS separate from yourself, in order to keep perpetuating separation.
So if you are angry at something, you are trying to be separated off. And if you'll notice, if you attempt to "not separate", ie not attack, your projection of guilt subsides and your ego deflates and you stop projecting and separating. And what you then experience is more of a sense of unity or wholeness, a sense of joining ,a sense of love and connection.
You can actually try to "not separate", ie to not resist, attack, push away, condemn, judge, or make guilty, etc. Instead embracing and opening and allowing and accepting, loving and sharing and joining. Separation is you REJECTING stuff, trying to EXCLUDE it.
So really the question is, are we walking around being separators, or are we walking around being joiners? Are we attacking or healing? Are we projecting guilt or withholding judgement? Are we broadcasting hate and hurt or are we giving love?
"What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
If you exclude, ie attack, ie project guilt, you are increasing separation and insanity. By excluding, you are separating off. This is forming an ego or a sense of being separate. When you are separate you will feel like the whole world is against you and that you are at war with it, that you have taken a side against it and are not on the same side as it or anyone else. This is because there is internal conflict in the mind. An excluding mind is a split mind, because it does not want to share a single space with anyone else. Another word for joining is INTEGRATION.
You may also notice that fear produces the same split mind, the same separation, and the same desire to push something away. Fear is an attempt to run away from and thus separate off from something else. There is a pulling away and a sense of wanting to be separate or distanced from something. To get away from it.
This is a rejection, just as the projection of guilt through anger is also secretly an attempt to reject. Anger seems less obvious of a rejection because it has overtones of attack aimed outward, but subtly you'll find that fear also is a form of attack in a more passive way. If anger is over outward attack, with subtle withdrawal, fear is overt withdrawal with subtle outward attack. Both are just more forms of the same attempt to SEPARATE. "Fear produces dissociation because it induces SEPARATION. Healing ALWAYS induces harmony because it proceeds from integration."
"When you think you are projecting what you do NOT want, it is still because you DO want it. This leads DIRECTLY to dissociation, for it represents the acceptance of two goals, each perceived IN A DIFFERENT PLACE, separated from each other BECAUSE YOU MADE THEM DIFFERENT. The mind then sees a divided world OUTSIDE ITSELF, but NOT within. This gives it an illusion of integrity, and enables it to believe that IT is pursuing one goal. As long as you perceive the world as split, YOU are not healed. For to be healed is to pursue one goal, because you have ACCEPTED only one, and WANT but one."
"Can you be separated from your identification and be at peace? Dissociation is NOT a solution; it is a DELUSION."
"What better vocation could there be for any part of the Kingdom than to restore it to the perfect integration that can make it whole?"
"The mind always strives for integration, and if it is split, and WANTS TO KEEP THE SPLIT, it will believe it has ONE goal by MAKING IT ONE."
"True depth perception becomes possible only at the highest order of perceptual integration."
It may sound simple enough to say "you but accuse your brother of your own sins." But if you think on this deeply, you'll realize how strange this is. It holds up even when you are angry at someone, and even when it seems like they are doing something wrong all on their own.
Jesus is basically saying you NEVER accuse your brother of THEIR sins. You actually ONLY EVER accuse your brother of YOUR SINS. When you think about that it's quite strange.
1) You believe YOU have sinned.
2) You try to pin YOUR sin onto someone else.
3) You project YOUR actual sense of sin and guilt ONTO someone else, to try to attach it to them and blame THEM for it.
How deceiving is that? What a disguise! What a way to frame someone for something they didn't do. What is this but finding a scapegoat? Blaming someone who is completely innocent and completely unrelated to your sin, for something YOU think you did.
Jesus goes even further to say that, not only do you only ever accuse others of YOUR shit, you actually are not even capable of seeing THEIR sins, yet alone holding THEIR sins against them. So it can't be possible that you SEE objectively "they are sinning and I am not", to enable you to be able to point a neutral finger and say "you are sinning, and I am not."
If you regard them as sinful or guilty, you are NOT seeing their sin or guilt. You are actually seeing the projection of YOUR OWN. Your own pain is hurled out of your mind onto them, your anger attempts to MAKE them be guilty, and you now see them as the CAUSE of YOUR suffering.
This happens because as you project sin and guilt, your perception inverts and becomes completely backwards. Cause and effect are reversed. You see causation or sin as outside of you coming into you, rather than inside you extending outward.
If your brother is guilty of WHAT YOU DID, then they are now the one who is sinful and "doing it", thus doing it TO YOU. You now see yourself as threatened and attacked BY THEIR sinfulness, but it is in fact YOUR OWN sinfulness coming back at you. You may fear their wrath but really you only fear YOUR OWN.
It's such a bizarre thing to do. It's like someone accuses you of being guilty, you feel bad about it, then because you don't want to heal it in yourself or admit it is yours, you find some random target outside of you, some innocent party, and suddenly hurl all of your guilt onto them, try to FRAME them as being sinners, ACCUSING them of all kinds of stuff, to try to SHIFT THE BLAME, so that you can dissociate from your guilt and associate them with it. So they can take the fall FOR you. And if you can be convincing enough, you may even convince yourself and others that YOU are the innocent one, throwing everyone off the scent.
That's what we're doing every single time we are angry at someone, trying to make them guilty, accusing them, seeing them as doing something to us. In fact, when there is any judgemental sense at all of them "doing something wrong" or not being good enough or failing or sinning or attacking, it MUST MEAN that we ourselves are projecting OUR OWN inner misery, pain, unhealed wounds, onto them.
Jesus is clearly saying that you are actually INCAPABLE of judging another's innocence or guilt. You can ONLY see that either you believe BOTH of you are guilty, or BOTH of you are innocent. Because if you have guilt in your own mind, you can ONLY see guilt. And being unable to see innocence at all, you have no way to discern whether they are separately innocent. And if there is innocence in you, you CANNOT see their guilt, because your own innocence blinds you to guilt. So again you cannot discern separately whether they are innocent or guilty.
If you accuse yourself of sin or guilt, you ARE accusing BOTH yourself AND others. And the truth is that NEITHER of you are guilty or sinful. This is why it's not enough to simply take back projections and reclaim ownership responsibility for the sinful junk in your mind. You have to actually UNDO it, FOR BOTH of you, through forgiving yourself. Because you and your brother are one, and either you condemn you both to hell or lift you both to heaven.
Next time you are in the middle of heated anger or blame or judgement to any degree, even if it seems the other person is definitely doing something wrong, even if it seems they are the whole CAUSE of the problem, and MAKING you suffer, even if it seems you have done nothing to ask for this, and especially then because you are in denial, YOU ARE in the middle of hurling YOUR GUILT onto them.
It will seem like it is NOT your guilt at all, and entirely theirs. And you will make them responsible for CHANGING in order that YOUR upset be resolved, so that they stop seeming to CAUSE YOU to be at the effect of them. And you will seek for THEM to stop their sinful behavior so that YOU can be happy, believing THEY have the POWER OVER YOU to cause you to suffer. How dare they be so guilty! How dare they infect you with THEIR sin! But it's all YOURS!
You take your hidden hates and secret sins and sense of guilt and unworthiness and self-hate and miserableness and hurt and pain and unhealed disgust, and you try to PIN IT ON innocent passers by who have nothing to do with it. And now they look like an enemy, and you hate YOUR sin IN them, you attack them for YOUR sin, and you try to destroy YOUR sin IN them. But ideas leave not their source, and it is still your mind attacking ITSELF. Your mind is still containing the shit you are accusing them of.
How strange that you would first of all hurt yourself, then displace the hurt onto someone else who has nothing to do with it. That you would then attack the hurt that is in them, trying to destroy it and the owner of the hurt along with it, to get rid of it. All the while still secretly believing it is YOU who is hurt, and YOU who you are attacking FOR it. Because if you attack your brother for YOUR guilt, that really means you are trying to destroy YOURSELF for being guilty.
This is why the secret of salvation is ALWAYS true. No matter who seems to be the victim or victimizer, or who seems to be doing what to whom, it is always YOU DOING IT TO YOU, even when it seems like someone else is doing it to you. Barking at someone for doing something wrong is your way of hating the sin in you in an externalized way, so that you pretend that you're not targeting yourself. Attack is always made upon a stranger, and that stranger is you.
"Learn this, and learn it well, for it is here delay of happiness is shortened by a span of time you cannot realize. You NEVER hate your brother for HIS "sins", but ONLY for your own. Whatever form his sins appear to take, the form obscures the fact that you believe it to be yours, and THEREFORE meriting a just attack."
"As prayer is always for yourself, so is forgiveness given you. It is impossible to forgive another, for it is only your sins you see in him. You want to see them there, and not in you."
"Only in someone else can you forgive yourself, for you have called him guilty of your sins, and in him must your innocence be found. Who but the sinful need to be forgiven? And do not ever think you can see sin in anyone except yourself."
"Let it never be forgotten that prayer at any level is always for yourself. If you unite with anyone in prayer, you make him part of you. The enemy is you, as is the Christ. Before it can become holy, then, prayer becomes a choice. You do not choose for another. You can but choose for yourself. Pray truly for your enemies, then, for herein lies your own salvation. Forgive them for your sins, and you will be forgiven indeed."
"If he be lost in sin so must you be; if you see light in him your sins have been forgiven by yourself."
"How can he live, with all your sins upon him?"
"BEYOND his errors is his holiness, and YOUR salvation. You gave him not his holiness, but tried to see your sins in him, to save yourself. And yet his holiness IS your forgiveness. Can YOU be saved by making sinful the one whose holiness IS your salvation?"
"And you are each the symbol of your sins to one another, silently, and yet with ceaseless urgency condemning still your brother for the hated thing you are."
"For I became the symbol of your sin, and so I had to die INSTEAD of you."
"When you feel that you are tempted to accuse someone of sin in any form, do not allow your mind to dwell on what you think he did, for this is self-deception. Ask instead, "Should I accuse myself of doing this?"
"Who would send messages of hatred and attack, if he but understood he sends them to HIMSELF? Who would accuse, make guilty and condemn HIMSELF?The ego's messages are ALWAYS sent AWAY from you, in the belief that, for your message of attack and guilt, will someone OTHER than yourself suffer. And, even if YOU suffer, yet someone ELSE will suffer more."
"What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."
"It can be but myself I crucify." All that I do I do unto myself. If I attack, I suffer. But if I forgive, salvation will be given me."
"You will not attack yourself, and you will realize that to attack another is but to attack yourself. You will be free of the insane belief that to attack a brother saves yourself."
"The dreary, hopeless thought that you can make attacks on others and escape yourself has nailed you to the cross."
"Such is the form of madness you believe, if you accept the fearful thought you can attack another and be free yourself."
"Each of your perceptions of "external reality" is a pictorial representation of your own attack thoughts."
"In every condemnation that you offer the Son of God, lies the conviction of your OWN guilt."
"You cannot see his sins and not your own."
Jesus asks us to be responsible for everything we experience. Part of this entails being responsible for all of your feelings and reactions.
This sounds simple enough but you might not realize how much you don't do this. I know I am just starting to find out.
Most of the feelings we have are 'caused by', or are reactions to, things outside of us. External causes. These external causes seem to have power over us. Anything that happens in the world seems to be 'reality', and what is real is true. So as anything happens, it's as though it is a statement of what is true. For example, if someone attacks you, and if it's a statement of what is true, then its saying "it's true that you deserve to be attacked".
Left unchecked, your ego will take this suggestion and agree with it. "Yes, it's true that I deserve to be attacked", Ie that you don't deserve love. And in order for you to align with that, you'll attempt to CHANGE YOURSELF into a different identity. You'll try to make yourself into "a self that isn't loveable". And what will that feel like? It'll feel like guilt, like unworthiness, like sadness, like shame.
So 'reactions' are actually your attempt to comply with the power that an external cause is trying to have over you, which is trying to dictate and change what you are. So if you go along with it, you will 're-act' by acting as if you are what it tells you you are. In other words, you attempt to be an EFFECT of this external cause. By being the effect, you are 'affected by' it. And this doesn't feel good to turn yourself into a condition that runs against your true nature.
You'll also notice that when you have these reactions, these effects, which accounts for most emotional responses other than real love or joy, the way you EXPERIENCE the feeling entails a sense that the feeling isn't just inside your body. Or that it isn't yours. Because you perceive the feeling as having been caused by something external, the feeling ITSELF will feel like it is connected to, attached to, and dependent upon that external cause. If that thing caused you to feel this way, then the feeling essentially "came from" that thing, and was dictated to you by that thing. In your awareness, as you have this reactive feeling, you feel like your feeling is going outside your body and projecting onto that external source, or at least that it is "about" something other than you.
You're very used to this, so it seems to you that it's completely normal for reactive 'feelings' to feel like they go outside your body. Since you're so used to believing that you are "affected by" external stuff, and that this upsets you (changes you into an upset person by redefining what's true about you), you don't believe you are responsible for your feelings. It's someone else's fault. Something else is making you upset. It's not 'yours'. So quite literally you perceive that YOUR OWN FEELINGS are NOT YOUR OWN FEELINGS, that they belong to someone or something else "out there". And that therefore you don't have control over them. And this makes you into a victim. This also has a lot to do with why you block and deny and do not want to feel these feelings, because you believe they are not really yours.
Now, what I'm going to suggest is that you need to learn to take full responsibility for the *experience* of feeling. Whatever the feeling is, no matter who seemed to create it or cause it, you need to OWN IT and own up to the fact that this is YOUR FEELING, not someone else's. And that means, this feeling is actually INSIDE YOUR BODY and not extending out to project into other people as the cause of it. And it also means, these feelings are not really there BECAUSE OF someone or something else, but BECAUSE OF YOU.
A phrase which I've begun to remind myself with is:
"I am responsible for these feelings".
So no matter what's going on, if I'm feeling upset that my neighbors are making a lot of noise.. I have to say, "I am responsible for these feelings". I'm not having these upset feelings 'because of' my neighbors. I'm having these upset feelings because I AM THE ONE who is having them, which means I am the cause of them, which means they come from ME. They're mine. If I were to assert that I'm being caused to be upset by my noisy neighbors, then I would have to believe my feelings are caused by them, so my neighbors are responsible for my feelings, and not me.
Or how about, your parent doesn't love you enough and you come to believe it means you're unworthy (because you believe they're treating you with the truth so that must imply you don't deserve love). If you feel hurt because of them, by them, or they caused it, then you will not be responsible. So long as you disown how you feel, and blame the cause of the feeling on them, you are stuck. So really... your feeling of hurt or abandonment or unlove or unworthiness is NOT because of them. It's NOT them that caused it, otherwise that would mean these are their feelings. Yes, you tried to take on their feelings as your own. But it's not yours. What YOU are feeling is YOUR feelings and YOU are the one choosing to feel this way.
"I am responsible for these feelings". This frees you. It affirms that no matter what you feel, that feeling is IN YOU, because it is YOURS. It's confined to your body. And as you claim this responsibility and detach from blaming it on someone outside of you, you'll notice something odd happens.
You'll start to become aware that no matter what, no matter how severe circumstances are, no matter who is doing what 'to you', your feelings are YOUR responsibility. Which means you cannot project the onto anyone else or blame anyone else. This is a whole new level of responsibility. To walk around in this world with all kinds of stuff happening and people doing stuff and to NOT see them as having the POWER to CAUSE YOU to feel a certain way. This is a step toward invulnerability.
This takes pracice, mainly because we're so used to being victims and so used to tying our feelings to other people and events. I have to own up to the fact that no matter what I'm feeling or 'why', I am ONLY feeling it because I WANT TO and because I'M CHOOSING TO. Otherwise I am a victim. These are MY feelings, and it's nobody else's fault.
The odd thing that happens, and I've found this quite unexpected, is IF and when I claim responsibility for what I'm feeling, quite often I suddenly start laughing, or the feeling disappears really quickly. If I see that this feeling is entirely within me and has nothing to do with anyone else, it has nowhere to go. This perceptive change of 'being responsible' prevents me from buying into victimhood, or into believing that someone external 'caused this'. This SETS ME FREE. It completely undoes the foundation of victimhood, which largely undoes the foundation of the feeling itself, which really was just a mistaken thought or attitude.
I've also noticed something else very weird. A couple of times now I have been in situations where, normally, I would have a 're-action'. Like getting cut off by a driver in traffic. I noticed I was 'supposed to' or normally would react in some kind of anger or skapegoating. But instead, I didn't do anything. I stayed responsible, which meant staying responsible for my own feelings, which meant that person didn't have the power to cause me to feel differently. And I watched as my feelings.. ... didn't change. It was like, I'd switched off 'reacting'. Same event still happening, but no reaction. Hmm.
There is something else odd that I've been experiencing. If all my feelings are my own and I am feeling them BY CHOICE and not really because of or at the effect of anyone else, then I must be quite literally walking around INVENTING feelings on-demand, just spontaneously, in order to take the opportunity to try to scapegoat, but nevertheless creating these feelings for NO REAL REASON. All of my supposed re-actions are really just me choosing to feel something at a given time, all on my own, all within myself. It's got nothing to do with anyone else. Ano if that's the case, then WHY am I doing that? What's the point? Maybe I should just stop making this shit up!!
This is part of how we show our brother that they have not done anything to us, by demonstrating that WE have not been affected. We haven't been affected because we are not the EFFECT, we are the CAUSE of what we feel. This happened to me one other time too and I found it remarkable that, even in a situation which would have 'called for' a big reaction, there was no reaction at all. It's like being unplugged from the story. Being immune and invulnerable. It seems like CHEATING! Lol .... But it works.
I know I will keep practicing this and will continue to become more responsible for what I am and what I feel. I encourage you to do the same.
Forgiveness happens when you reframe a sin as simply a mistake. When you can realize that it was just an error, and not an intentional attack, it is forgivable. Sin demands punishment, if it is truly evil. But mistakes can be corrected and undone with no consequences.
If a person is fully sane, in their right mind, with full awareness of all consequences, and actually performs a sin, which has real consequences on reality, then truly this would be a real sin. It would also be unforgivable.
However, such things are not possible. Nothing real can be threatened and real sin does not exist. You cannot attack anything real with any real consequences.
What we call sin is really a state of belief. It happens when a mind is mistaken, believing that sin is POSSIBLE in the first place, such as that reality CAN be attacked. This is impossible, so the mind that believes it must be confused. This confusion is mental illness.
Anyone who is in a state of "sinning" is therefore NOT really in a state of real sin, they are in a state of BELIEVING IN sin, but are completely mistaken. They believe something is possible which isn't. They believe they have done something they could not do in truth.
If we think that the world exists, and recognize honestly that it is cruel and full of sins, then it is unforgivable. If we think the world is really there, doing what it does, it does NOT justify forgiveness. If its attacks are true, or if its impossible proof of attack is real evidence, then there is no basis for forgiving it.
In order to forgive the world, something has to happen. You have to find a way to recognize that it was NOT MADE BY A SANE MIND. If it were, sin would be real, and the world cannot be forgiven, because making a cruel world is truly evil.
Similarly if God in his right mind made the world, and given the world IS a cruel place (come on, admit it), then God WOULD indeed be cruel and evil to make such a thing, and to subject his children to it on purpose. If God DID make the world, God is a sinner and the world is made of real sin and CANNOT be forgiven.
But if the mind that made it is having an hallucinated nightmare, which projects an imaginary world of sin, and does NOT KNOW what they are doing, then the world they make is NOT really sinning.
What we need to recognize in ACIM is that we actually went into a state of internal insanity first, believing we had sinned against God with real consequences, and this induced huge guilt. We then moved into denial and projection and dissociation to try to disown it, which eventually produced the face of innocence as a cover-up.
But it was actually from our internal state of "false perception" that WE PROJECTED THE WORLD OUTWARD. It was a projection OF our inner self-attack and the wish for death. The world was supposed to be a SOLUTION to our sin, by getting rid of what we did not want, and externalizing our guilt.
"The world is false perception. It is born of error, and it has not left its source."
"You are AT ODDS with the world as you perceive it because you think IT is antagonistic to you. THIS IS A NECESSARY CONSEQUENCE OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. You have projected outward what IS antagonistic to what is inward"
"The world you made is therefore totally chaotic, governed by arbitrary and senseless "laws," and without meaning of ANY kind. For it was made out of what you do NOT want, projected FROM your mind, because you were AFRAID of it."
What this means is that we actually were NOT in our right minds when we made the world. We were in an insane state of darkness, confusion and despair. Instead of sanely undoing our self-made attack, we instead projected it as a world to try to put it outside the mind. This was a magical solution to an internal problem.
"The body is the idea of sin made flesh and projected outward."
"The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt."
"The ego made the world as IT perceives it"
"The world was made as an attack on God. It symbolizes fear."
"The UNreal world IS a thing of despair, for it can never be."
"What if you recognized this world is a hallucination? What if you REALLY understood you made it up?"
"This world IS a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son." The world, as a picture of crucifixion (death and attack), was projected out from our minds, in a state of guilt and insanity. We did not make it in happiness. We did not make it in awareness of the consequences. We did not make it as a sane logical conclusion. And we did not make it in a clear-headed state of mind.
We made the world as a bandaid of denial to cover up our guilt. We made it by mistake. We chose a poor sloppy solution to the guilt in our mind, in an attempt to use dissociation to make the guilt unconscious. We tried to escape from our inner world, by projecting its contents outside. This formed the physical universe.
"Projection makes perception; the world you see is what you GAVE it, nothing more than that. But, though it is no MORE than that, it is NOT less. Therefore, to YOU, it IS important. It is the witness to your state of mind, the OUTSIDE picture of an INWARD condition."
We didn't know what we were doing. We WERE in a state of being mistaken. We believed sin was possible, which is a mistake. We believed we had sinned, which was not true. We believed we should be guilty, which was unjustified. And we believed we should be punished, when it was un-called for. We believed in lies and deception. We had rejected truth, and reality, and sanity.
The world we made wasn't really made in a clear state of mind. It was made as an ERROR. It was an extension or expression of mental confusion. We made it in the darkness, out of fear and death, having lost touch with truly sane solutions. This produced an ERRONEOUS WORLD. A world made of error. Not really a world of sin, because the mind that made it was not sane. It was made as a mistake, by a mistaken mind.
"The body's eyes see ONLY form. They cannot see BEYOND what they were MADE to see. And they were made to look on error, and NOT see past it."
"The world is false perception. It is born of error"
If we can then recognize that when we made the world we were not sane, and that the world symbolizes that insanity, and what we made WAS ugly and cruel and vicious and deadly, because of the state of mind we were in at the time, then there IS JUSTIFICATION FOR FORGIVENESS. As Jesus says, "forgive them for they know NOT what they do." In our guilt we insanely made an insane world. A grotesque, strange, self-denying, self-attacking, confused insane world.
"What is producing this world is insane, and so is what it produces."
Given that it IS an insane world, this means that it is NOT REALLY A SIN. Nor was the mind that made it truly sinning. The mind that made it was MISTAKEN. Which means that WHEN we are mistaken, we make the physical world. We make FROM our mistakenness, and by mistake. Given that it IS a mistake, it CAN be forgiven.
When we separated from God, two things happened. 1) We entered an insane state of mind, and 2) We projected out a physical world from that state of mind. Our task now is to CHANGE OUR MIND, to receive correction without punishment, so that we can lift the insanity from our minds. By doing so, we become able to look upon the world WITHOUT the insanity that we had when we originally made it.
Insanity is a state of attack and guilt and sin and fear and blame and all manner of distortion. This was PUT ONTO the world, or more precisely, was what the PROJECTION of the world was based upon. It is the world's roots. The world CAME FROM a belief in sin and attack and death. But that belief was a mistake. And if that belied is corrected, then you're left with a world that you made IN ERROR, FROM UGLINESS, AND DO NOT WANT.
"This world was over long ago. The thoughts that made it are no longer ***in*** the mind ***that thought of them***, and loved them for a while."
The perception you have "of the world", without the baggage of sin and guilt, is what we call the forgiven world. It's a strange miscreation, an odd form, which we sculpted in insanity. And now that we are coming around to sense and reason, and can see the whole picture, what we made is now seen from a lighter and truer perspective. That light true perspective is forgiveness and it lets us look on what we DID MAKE IN HATE, but without hating it.
"the world they thought was made in hate to be love's enemy." "Loveliness can light your images, and so transform them that you will love them even though they were made of hate."
ie you are changing your mind "about the world". But the world itself is still going to remain as it is. It will still seem to function in time. It will still spin. It will still have seasons. It will still feature animals eating each other alive. It will still have wars and murder and sickness and death. Because this is what you made when you were insane. You set it in motion. But now you can look at the twisted forms you made "in hell", and see them from a more loving perspective.
ONLY IF the world is a mistake, CAN IT BE FORGIVEN. You cannot forgive reality, or real sin. You can only forgive mistakes. The world is a mistake, and recognizing that you made it BY MISTAKE, lifts away all of the possible reasons why you might hate it. You can only hate the world if you believe it was a deliberate sin made by a fully-aware mind. But the world was made by someone who was ill and afraid. Someone whose belief system was mistaken. Someone who did not know, because they had rejected knowledge. Someone who was confused, because they had lost touch with reality.
You can't really hate the world if it is recognized as ... only... an odd thing you made one day when you were in a "bad mood." To acknowledge that you DID MAKE IT, actually owns up to the fact that IT DID COME FROM YOU. And this too is the key to unlocking forgiveness. Denying that you made it in fact keeps you from forgiving it, because in denying it you are affirming that you sinned. Admitting you made it affirms that you DID make it by mistake, and so can forgive it.
"Your brother thinks he made the world with you. Thus he denies creation. With you, he thinks the world he made, made HIM. Thus he denies he MADE it."
I forgive the world because I made it in error, and from error. The world is erroneous because it is false, made from a false mental state. I made it myself but I can choose otherwise. I don't have to worry about the consequences of this wrong decision, because the Holy Spirit will UNDO THE WORLD if I will let him. I can look upon the world with love by letting him choose for God for me. And this can show me with christ vision that the world is not a sin, it is just a mistake I made one day. A twisted dream I had one day when I was a little mistaken.
The Golden Rule states that whatever is true of one Son of God is true of another. Because all of God's children are perfect equals. This means that anything true of you is true of the entire sonship. You are created in the likeness of God and so what is true of God is true of you and all brothers and all creations. This rule, really a law, is always in effect regardless of how awake you are.
What this means is that in this world, when you believe you are guilty, you MUST also believe that everyone else is guilty. This rule is a LAW of God. It cannot be broken. But you can be deceived in believing it is not applying.
We talk a lot about projecting your stuff and then taking it back, as if to say, there is something confined to myself that I am ONLY doing to myself. We talk about being responsible for this self-attack, that all attack is self-made and we're not really attacking anyone else. We also talk about how I am the one who needs forgiveness and so on.
But there is something happening as a result of the Golden Rule. IF I attack myself, I AM attempting to also attack my brother. If I see myself as guilty, I MUST believe the whole sonship is guilty. If I find myself unworthy of love, I will believe everyone is unworthy of love. Whatever I see in my brother is a reflection of my own attitude about myself. Which means if I have attacked myself, I MUST also be attacking them.
This extends also to sickness, because while many believe that "only I am sick" or "the sickness is only in my body", as if separated off from others, the fact is that sickness is a two-sided affair. It arises because you accuse your brother of sin, which is an attack on him. Using the body to attack through, your body becomes sick. Your mind therefore HAS to believe that BOTH you and your brother are sick.
This also plays out on the level of relationship because when you are regarding your brother as being as holy as you are, you are in a holy relationship with them, seeing your own holiness in them. When you separate off, by ceasing to extend your mind to them, a gap forms in between you both, coming between you. It doesn't just separate you off from them, it also separates them off from you. It's a two-sided wall. What applies to you applies to them.
So what we have to realize is, while it's definitely beneficial to look at what we are doing "only to ourselves", we have to remember nothing ever really applies only to ourselves. Which means that if we are indeed in any kind of ego state, having any kind of guilt or sin belief, some aspect of that belief IS directed at our brothers. If we are attacking "only ourselves", we ALSO are attacking others.
This is part of the unhealed healer as well. If I have not received love, and therefore cannot give it, and therefore am unhealed, because I have guilt in me, I am going to have to see that guilt in everyone. And seeing it there, I will perhaps disassociate and think it's someone else's problem that I need to save them from. That blindness, that separation thought, where you think something applies to you and not them, or applies to them and not you, that is always ego. And there is temptation in the whole "it's all my own stuff" approach to not realize that it's not JUST about you as a "separate" mind.
Shifting blame from someone else back onto yourself does not heal it. It's a step in the right direction because it's sort of "coming from you", but WHERE are you? You think you are in a body, separated off from others. Assuming this is true, you will think your attitudes and your self attack are contained within the confines of your body/mind. That its inside you, not outside, and not in another. This is actually a false premise based on the belief that you fundamentally are a separated-off isolated mind-container.
Your mind is not really, ultimately, isolated to your body. That's part of the illusion. Your mind is shared with others, it is IN your brother, and it is everywhere. Your nature is to be an omnipresent spirit, like God. So when you are thinking in terms of, its mine, or its in me, or I am doing it only to myself, that still has isolation and separation in it. It doesn't mean that the problem is confined to the insides of your mind-body association.
It would actually be more accurate to say, the mind that is mine, which is united with my brothers and is everywhere and in all people, is temporarily believing that the entire sonship is under attack. I am temporarily coming between myself and everyone. My attack thoughts are against myself and them. Separation is coming between me and everyone. I am trying to apply unlove to the whole sonship to bring us all down together. My attack is upon the whole Kingdom. I am still thinking the same of everyone else that I think of myself.
So in this we start to realize, that while it's important I own what I'm doing to myself, I have to also realize that included in "what I'm doing" is actually an attempted attack on others as well. "You but accuse your brothers of your own sin" and "it can be but myself I crucify" are helpful in realizing that you are included in what's being attacked, and in fact that you ARE only really doing this to yourself (because your brother cannot be attacked because he's real). But as you crucify yourself, YOU DO attempt to crucify everyone.
This leads to the uncovering of the "second kind of scapegoating". Which is, the aspect of "what I am doing to others". Most often we are reacting to and trying to overcome "what they are doing to me". To blame them for attacking us. But let's say that this form of scapegoating is actually a disguise. It's a way to pretend that YOU are not doing anything TO THEM. That you are not the attacker. While yes, you are actually attacking only yourself, in truth, you ARE trying to attack everyone if you believe in sin. Including God.
And to project this and disown it is an attempt to cover this up and make out that someone else is the attacker and not you. To take back the projected sin means taking back the identification of WHO is doing the attacking, and this attacking is an "act" that comes out of someone and goes toward another. It's not just some lump of sin that sits there idly. It's not a commodity that you shuffle around or displace like "some guilt". We are either actively attacking others or believing they are actively attacking us.
So if we get honest, we're going to find out, that all our attack thoughts are kind of a form of murderousness, toward everything - me, my brothers, the world, and God. If I am projecting guilt in the first place, I am actually trying to attack. When I do not see the real world, I am attacking it. As Jesus says: "You attack the real world every day and every hour and every minute, and yet you are surprised that you cannot see it." and "God offers the world salvation; your judgment would condemn it. and "Peace is impossible to those who look on war. Peace is inevitable to those who offer peace."
So if you look at what sin is all about, it basically is "attack" or attempted attack. Attack thoughts. Judgement. The attempt to separate, push away, deny, reject, unlove, to cause irreversible damage to something in an effort to make it go away, to destroy it. It's part of the ego's murderous thought system. "What is not love is murder" says the same thing. And actually makes it very clear. If we are not being loving, which means to ourselves AND others, per the Golden Rule, we ARE attempting to be murderous towards ourselves AND others.
This is uncomfortable to look at because it reveals that we cannot have ego beliefs in "self attack" going on in our minds WITHOUT believing they also apply to everyone else. Whatever I see in myself I will see in everyone. As I enter into any sin or guilt, I am trying to separate, which means I am attacking both myself and others. As an unhealed healer, I will attempt to heal by attacking, by trying to give what I do not have, and by therefore giving attack as a remedy. And of course this cannot heal. Those who are not healed cannot heal.
So we have to get in touch with this. Look at it. What I'm doing to myself, I am trying to also do to others. What I think applies to me, I also think applies to everyone. Even if in my state of denial and unconsciousness, I am not aware that I think this. Because the ego's states of mind are always an imbalance where you think it applies to me not them, or them not me. That's part of the disassociation, which is the separation idea.
The ego is the denial of the Golden Rule, but denial does not overthrow the law. The law still applies at all times even as the ego does its thing. Everything always applies to everyone. When I think it does not apply to me, it does, but this also doesn't mean that because it applies to me, it doesn't apply to others. Ego is always the temptation to believe something is special or true of me that isn't applying to everyone. And "special forgiveness" of "only myself" is not forgiveness of the sonship.
Transitioning from ego thinking to Holy Spirit thinking entails shifting from the whole "me vs them" to "all of us". Wrong mindedness means I think things do not apply to everyone equally. Right mindedness means I recognize everything applies equally to everyone. So to get to right mindedness I'm going to have to admit along the way that I am actually trying to attack BOTH myself and others. What I'm trying to do to them I am doing to myself. We BOTH need forgiveness. We BOTH need to be recognized as innocent. And I need to learn to stop attacking BOTH of us.
Thinking that you only attack yourself can be a trap. It can disguise and hide the fact that you also think poorly of others. Or that you are secretly attacking them while trying to save them. It can cover up the fact that if you are attacking at all, you are also attacking everyone. Yet recognizing you are attacking everyone can also be a trap, because it can induce more guilt. You shouldn't be trying to "not attack" on the basis that you would feel guilty for doing so. And you don't need to.
All we really need is awareness. In awareness, you know that you are in your brother. There is an automatic vested interest in not attacking them, IF you are aware that you literally cannot do it without attacking yourself. It's the unawareness that you are included in the attack that makes you believe murder is justified and that you can get away with it without experiencing any effects. If you were aware of and not in denial of the Golden Rule, it would leave absolutely no room for attack of any kind, because to attack when you know it's yourself you attack would be insane.
If I am believing in attack I will attack myself and all of creation.
If I am only loving I will love myself and all of creation.
Father let me not attack myself or my brothers today and let us all be joined in complete holiness and unified will that you may resurrect us into your light and heal the entire sonship as one.
"One brother is all brothers. One mind is all minds. Such is the truth."
The entire ego thought system is an attempt to deny and get rid of God, ourselves, and truth. It is an attempt to displace responsibility for who and what we are, what we are experiencing, and how these experiences were chosen, onto someone other than ourselves.
The culmination of this behavior if death, in which we seem to successfully displace/project/disassociate ALL responsibility for living onto some external power, which decides FOR us what our fate will be.
Death is the ultimate statement and attempt to get rid of all will to live, all responsibility for choice, all power, all blame, and all sin. Turning the tables and having something external "cause you to die" can only happen by completely refusing to make a choice, to create an illusion of having no choice, and to then play along with that lie by "letting" something destroy you "against your will."
All victimhood speaks of the disownership and denial of self, the projection of sin onto others, the unwillingness to choose or to admit to anything, and the deliberate placing of all POWER into the hands of anyone other than ourselves. This has been our ego agenda since the beginning of the separation from God, which was an attempt to deny all power, to deny what we are, and to destroy what God has created.
The only tool the ego has, since it cannot change reality or make it truly be destroyed, is to "cover it up" with illusions of denial. This denial attempts to displace away from the present, away from Self, away from God, everything that is HERE to make it be "not here". This is simply an act of DISOWNING RESPONSIBILITY.
The antidote to this, and everything that comes from it, is to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER by taking responsibility for everything that you are experiencing. This requires that you learn that NOTHING can happen to you against your will, EVERYTHING you are experiencing is what you have ASKED FOR, and you HAVE received exactly what you wanted. This also means that you MUST have chosen whatever it is you are experiencing.
This ties in directly to the secret to salvation, which is the realizing that you are DOING THIS TO YOURSELF, which means that you cannot ever be a victim, no-one is EVER the cause of anything you are experiencing or feeling, no-one can attack you, you are invulnerable, and therefore you are SAFE.
It also ties into Jesus saying that "no-one dies without their own consent". This literally means that if you will take full responsibility, you literally CANNOT experience death unless you choose to. And this also means, that literally, nothing outside of you has ANY ability or power to CAUSE you to die, against your will. This is nothing short of immortality.
The benefits to you and your mind by taking full responsibility for everything is profound. It takes some practice, especially since in most ego dramas there is some perception that SOMEONE ELSE is responsible for what you are experiencing. It can seem that your body is sick because of something that happened against your will, or someone called you some names, or they attacked you, or there is something wrong with them etc. These are LIES.
These are ways that you will GIVE POWER to other people, which means DISOWNING that power, which means you will then *experience* a sense of POWERLESSNESS. In that powerlessness you will see yourself as weak, vulnerable and attackable, and justified in being constantly afraid because now you perceive that "a great power" is outside of you, able to do something to you against your will. A power so strong that, in comparison, the "lack of power" you see yourself as having is no match for it.
Being a victim is a deliberate act of giving your power away. It also reveals in *every case* that you MUST have chosen incorrectly, must have asked for what you have experienced, and therefore have done it to yourself. There is no wiggle room here. We're not able to maintain a belief in "justified victimhood" or "being unfairly treated" at the same time as being empowered. Believing in these reasons why anyone is justified in being a victim or projecting blame for it, is nothing less than a continued CHOICE to disown our power.
We may not realize how much power we have attempted to GIVE AWAY, especially if we are in a very afraid state of victimization. We have been so used to being POWERLESS that we think this is normal and natural. However, as you start to take back responsibility for *everything* you are experiencing, taking back all blame and all belief in an external cause, you will be pleasantly surprised as how EMPOWERED you feel, how much it boosts your confidence and certainty, and how much LESS AFRAID you are.
Essentially, by giving away responsibility, we are attempting to make our life the responsibility of someone else. Then we will seek for them to DO TO US how we want them to treat us - which is specialness. If they do not treat us right, and given we believe what we experience is THEIR responsibility, we will then blame them for failing to live up to our expectation. You can see this in almost all parent-child relationships not to mention all other special relationships.
Also, in this act of placing blame for sin onto SOMETHING SEPARATE AND EXTERNAL, we actually attempting to separate *GOD* off, make him be other than one with our identity, to make out that He is the sinner, that He is now an "external, separate cause", that His Will is now acting AGAINST our will, and therefore we are justified in being angry at God. And then when it SEEMS as though an "external cause" is the reason for why we die, against our will, we are literally acting out this accusation that we are dying because IT IS GOD's WILL. Having made our will be against God's we now see Him as acting against us and trying to kill us. This is what happens when we try to kill God.
The truth is, God is NOT separate from us, His Will is NOT opposed to ours (ours is opposed to His), and He is NOT a separate cause out there doing stuff to us against our will. It is OUR authority problem which makes God out to be an attacker. Every death is a statement that we should die because it is God's will, which is a completely unfounded claim against God, trying to make God out to be a sinner and us His innocent victim.
Now, when we are in our ego and we're getting all caught up in some argument or drama with someone else, what happens is our mind forms "connections" to the other person. These are ego connections. They are psychological distortions resulting from false perception, which perceives that what you are experiencing is "caused by" something outside of yourself.
Seeing cause outside of you will ensure you see "effects" inside of you being directly "tied to" that external cause. So long as you keep visualizing that there is an enemy out there, you will not be able to let go of this sense that you "haven't let go" of this. The person will keeping popping up in your mind and you'll keep having FEAR about what they are doing to you. This is because you believe THEY are responsible for what you are experiencing.
This can become quite heightened, because the ego attacks itself and through conflict it attempts to "join" separate pieces together. The more you are being irresponsible by projecting others as the "cause of you", the more you will not be at peace because you can't LET GO of the perceived situation. Your perception needs healing.
Have you experienced how when you are concerned about what someone is doing, you just can't stop thinking about it? It keeps coming back into your mind. This is because you have become ATTACHED to this enemy, which keeps haunting you. Attachment means the ego is holding on tightly to its vision of an external cause. To let go of that attachment requires one thing .... TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING.
Since all ego dramas and fights and wars and conflict involve this "attaching" process of making YOUR wellbeing dependent on something external, the antidote is to SEVER THE TIES OF CAUSALITY with that other person. This means, making statements or at least having a willingness to admit, that they are NOT THE CAUSE of what you are experiencing, they are NOT responsible for what you are experiencing, the power you see IN them is NOT THEIRS it is your own which you attempted to GIVE to them, and to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER.
Here is an example.
Pick some person who you think of as being an enemy, against you, threatening you, accusing you, attacking you, blaming you, judging you, or in any way somehow acting against your will.
Recognize now what the content of your perception is. Somewhere in your perception you have DISPLACED a sense of power onto the person. You see them as HAVING POWER OVER YOU. And in that same perception, you see yourself as having LOST power to them.
Recognize also that you feel that THEY are responsible for how you feel, what you are experiencing, and what's happening to you. It's their fault. They are the one doing it. Cause is outside of you, and you therefore are being turned into an EFFECT. Note that all emotional reactions from the ego are the result of seeing yourself as AT THE EFFECT of the world. Perceiving a cause outside of you automatically means that YOU have to adjust to "become the effects" that this cause is projecting. These "effects" show up as emotional disturbance and reactions of hurt, fear, anger, etc.
Recognize also that you are attached to this person, they seem to have a way to ACCESS YOU, they are connected to you in some energetic way, and you can't seem to be at peace about them. You feel threatened by them, unsafe, unable to muster enough power or courage to stand up to them, and you feel like you are being victimized.
Now. Here is the good part. SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THEIR CAUSALITY. Say some things which confirm the truth, that there is NO TIE OF CAUSALITY between that person and you. I am now going to demonstrate an example and if you follow along using a person in your life, you WILL NOTICE how this changes your mind and your feelings.....
I am not being affected by that person. That person is not being affected by me.
I am not being caused by that person. That person is not being caused by me.
Nothing I am experiencing is coming from that person. These experiences are my own. I am choosing all of these experiences. Everything I am feeling I am choosing to feel. They are my own feelings and I put them there. This other person did not put them there.
Nothing the other person is experiencing is coming from me. Whatever they are experiencing is their own choice. They are choosing all of their experiences. Everything they are feeling they are choosing to feel. Those are their own feelings, not mine, and I did not put them there.
My feelings of hurt any upset are not being caused by them. Their feelings of hurt and upset are not being caused by me.
I am not responsible for anything that person is experiencing. They are not responsible for anything I am experiencing.
They have done nothing to me. I have done nothing to them.
I am not at the effect of that person. That person is not at the effect of me.
That person hasn't done anything to me against my will. I have not done anything to that person against their will.
I completely forgive that person because they have not done anything to me at all. That person completely forgives me because I have not done anything to them at all.
Everything I am experiencing is my own choice. I have put these reactions and feelings into my own body. I am the one who did this to myself. They did not do this to me. I must have chosen it.
(this ties directly into..) "I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace. I MADE THE DECISION MYSELF,
but I can also decide otherwise. I want to decide otherwise,
because I want to be at peace."
You can go on and on like this for as long as you feel you need to, SEPARATING CAUSALITY from seeming like it is coming from someone other than yourself. Or rather, deprogramming your false perception of an external enemy, and TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT so that you realize you are only doing this to yourself.
This puts all POWER back into your own hands. You will REGAIN POWER, you will feel stronger, you will feel less afraid, you will feel like you have LET GO of the other person, you will stop having obsessive thoughts about them, you will not FEAR being victimized by them or what they are going to "do to you", and you will gain a lot more confidence.
Essentially, this is a process of forgiveness, whereby you are admitting the truth and owning up to NOT being a victim, to having simply made a mistaken choice, and that you no longer want to see someone else as attacking you. Blaming anyone else for attack is a lie. All attack is self attack.
It is YOU who needs to stop attacking yourself, not other people. Putting the blame for attack onto others SHIELDS YOU from admitting that you are doing it to yourself, because projection comes from DENIAL. Admitting the truth, taking responsibility, and owning up to WHO YOU ARE, gives you back YOURSELF, and empowers you greatly.
What Jesus is teaching us in the Course is simply that all attack is self attack, we have accused ourselves of sin, and we need to admit that this isn't true. The things we do after accusing ourselves of sin, to deny and project it on others, isn't even the main problem. It's part of a cover up. We need to learn to STOP DISOWNING OURSELVES. Stop giving YOUR power away to external causes that don't exist.
When you take back all of YOUR power, which you share with God, you will not be able to see yourself as powerless, or needing to be afraid, or a victim. Stuff won't bother you. People won't be able to attack you. You will gain STRENGTH in the truth. True innocence is STRONG, not weak and vulnerable. You are truly innocent when you take responsibility for everything because it simply means there is no blame or guilt, just a mistaken choice, which can be undone.
As you take back this responsibility, you will find AT FIRST that it seems to your ego that you are taking "the blame" for everything. This is a hurdle, because you still believe that you really did do something wrong. Not blaming it on someone else simply blames you. This has to be undone through forgiveness. If I say, "I am responsible for this", my ego will take it to mean, "I really am a sinner". This is its defense against the truth. We must go past this to realize that it is possible to BE RESPONSIBLE without being guilty.
Jesus talks about this in the urtext, not sure if FIP etc, but He mentions how as you start to take responsibility, your ego will at first perceive it to "imply" that you are the one who is truly a sinner. And this can feel painful. But gradually, the MORE you take responsibility, the more you take back your POWER, the more you will NOT believe in real sin and will more easily stay in your strength. Your strength will shine a stronger light and will help you to SEE that you are simply taking steps to BE YOURSELF.
Taking 100% responsibility for everything you experience is the key to salvation. It can take you all the way to the atonement. It will give you back so much power you will be surprised how invulnerable you feel, how much less afraid you are, how easily you approach people and are not put off by doubts or anxieties.
Taking full responsibility ultimately also means, YOU CANNOT DIE unless you make it happen to yourself. No-one dies without their own consent. It also means NOTHING CAN HURT YOU against your will. It also means YOU CANNOT BE SICK, and neither can your body, because sickness of the body is all an attempt to BE IRRESPONSIBLE by projecting sin onto others. Sickness accuses your brother of being a sinner. That's not responsibility. Taking responsibility will HEAL YOU AND YOUR BODY.
You could say, if you like you think of miracles as shifts in perception, say that taking responsibility will SHIFT your perception miraculously towards the truth. This isn't the full story of what miracles are (expressions of love, able to do anything) etc... but your holiness CAN do anything if you will OWN UP TO IT. It's kind of like an act of COMING OUT AS CHRIST, admitting that YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD, revealing yourself, stopping hiding, stoping distracting away from whey you are, BECOMING VISIBLE, and therefor becoming INVISIBLE to the ego. The ego cannot attack you when you are responsible and empowered.
The power you will gain and share with God by reclaiming your right to it (miracles are everyone's right, but purification is necessary first), will astound you. You literally are plugging yourself back into the Power of God. And there is nothing you cannot do.
Is there a power OTHER than the mind that can cause things to happen to us? What causes sickness? What makes death happen? Do we actually have any control over this world? Do we have a power, to such an extent, that we can actually determine what happens or doesn't happen? Can we actually CHOOSE to cause or not cause sickness and death?
This is an important issue because if we are not the ones orchestrating everything that occurs, everything we experience, then that places us in a rather vulnerable position. If there is a power or cause or law or something that drives stuff to occur, without our consent, without our choosing it, this basically means we are capable of being victims. Stuff can happen to us against our will.
It may seem SUPER radical to suggest that you could be in a position of having so much deliberateness, so much choice, so much power, that you could be orchestrating an entire dream. That the things that happen are what YOU decide will happen. That nothing else happens, because you haven't chosen it. It really then boils down to, are you actually able to choose not to suffer, to not be sick, to not die? Can you choose that events don't occur at all? Do you have the power to CAUSE these to not happen, and do you have the power to cause them TO happen?
This then really becomes a question of RESPONSIBILITY. Who or what is responsible, in every case, for what happens in your life? Do you shift responsibility and therefore "blame" onto others, onto the body or the world itself? For what seems to happen TO you? Who is responsible for whether you are attacked or not? Who is responsible for whether your body becomes sick, or is healed, or just carries on being sick without hope of relief? Because ultimately someone or some "thing" HAS to be the cause. It's either you, or it's something else. There are NO effects without causes.
If you look at the teachings of ACIM closely you will see that there is a huge theme of EMPOWERMENT. This empowerment is saying that you are so powerful that you literally are the dreamer of the dream. It says that you are ruler of the universe. It says that you can be attacked by nothing but your thoughts. It says you cannot die without your own consent. It says that you are not the victim of the world you see. All of these themes point towards you having POWER OVER what happens. YOU CHOOSE!
"If you give no power to the fog to obscure the light, it HAS none, for it has power ONLY because the Son of God gave power TO it. He must HIMSELF withdraw that power, remembering that all power is of God."
"Here again is the paradox often referred to in the course. To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power."
Indeed it leads to what ACIM calls "the secret of salvation". This is quite a radical passage because it basically says that unless you were to go into a kind of unconscious state of denial in which you disown power and see the dream as "happening against your will", NOTHING In the world can do anything to you - no matter how vicious it seems. And in fact, that the secret to being SAVED FROM all forms of suffering, is to realize and own fully that you are "doing it to yourself." That takes great OWNERSHIP of power.
We immediately start to bark with objections about how this can't be true in all situations. But the passage tells us that no matter who is the victim or victimizer, it is true. No matter who seems to do what to whom, or what the apparent severity, it is still true. So it's then telling us that despite any appearances, despite what may look like external causes or separate people acting in certain ways, no matter what it looks like on the surface, it is ALWAYS TRUE that you are doing it to yourself.
And it calls this the "secret of salvation" because it talks of how this is the ONE LESSON the holy spirit is teaching to SAVE YOU from ALL forms of suffering. That the cause of ALL forms of suffering, no matter what form it takes, including physical sickness, is the fact that you are the one doing it to yourself. And because you are doing it yourself, you can change your mind and STOP doing it.
"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace. I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise."
Because in truth, really, UNLESS you are actually the one with the power to CAUSE anything to happen, you would not be in a position to be able to USE that power to NOT cause it to happen, or to undo it. It is because you DO cause it, that there is IS hope for salvation. There is a way out of hell and suffering and sickness and death BECAUSE you are the one that keeps putting it in place. And if you weren't the one putting it in place, you'd be stuck having to tolerate it, experience it, suffer from it, and go through it, without any hope of relief, ie no salvation.
This is quite a radical teaching and it is extremely central to the entire A Course in Miracles view of cause and effect, of who causes what, and of how POWERFUL you are. It rests on the fact that you are an immortal being, a permanent changeless being, who is always the same and is incapable of change or of being changed. A being that is NOT AFFECTED by the world.
"The world does nothing to him. He only thought it did."
Forgiveness rests on this immortal fact, because obviously if you are immortal nothing can happen to you, so you have no grounds for playing at being a victim, no grounds for believing that something is happening against your will, and no grounds for suffering. If you are immortal then you quite literally are invulnerable to the entire world, and there is not a single thing in all the world that has even the slightest power to cause anything that you do not want. In fact it means you have power OVER DEATH, because you cannot die.
This is what the entire teaching of ACIM is leading to. The total identification with spirit as Christ, the immortal son of God. The total owning of RESPONSIBILITY FOR BEING CAUSAL - a causal CREATOR. The total reclaiming of absolute unlimited POWER, which can do literally anything. The reclaiming of the power to work miracles, to heal sickness and to prevent death, and to change the world if needed. It is asking of you to reclaim a role and position of nothing LESS than TOTAL ABSOLUTE POWER.
By having such a power, a power so great that literally the entire dream is being dreamed up BY your mind, a power that puts the world in place and makes it spin, a power that materializes bodies, a power that causes events to transpire, we're talking about you being extremely DELIBERATE and CHOOSING everything that occurs or is experienced. And this does mean without exception. Not one single thing occurs that you do not choose, and because the power of decision is yours, you CAN CHOOSE not to have the body be sick, or die. YOU make the world go round.
This isn't a course in leaving any room open for some kind of fictional "alien will", a separate power, an external power, some kind of power the "dream" seems to have over you, some victim consciousness, some kind of external causation that can do things to you against your will, some kind of power that puts sickness into your body without your asking for it, or some kind of power other than your choice that seems to make death happen.
These are all the views that the EGO has, in its sense of weakness and powerlessness and vulnerability and fear. It sees itself as utterly at war with a separated-off power not within itself, that does things to it against its desires. And it sees itself as having no control or real power over anything, so instead to uses "force" and "doing" to try to make things happen.
"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the FEAR OF AWAKENING. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of CONSCIOUSNESS. This is a pathetic way of TRYING NOT TO KNOW by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
We are being asked to own up to being immortal beings. Beings who are purely CAUSAL and CREATIVE. Beings who express from love and whose expressions come out as what you want, and as what you create and thus as what happens or exists. Where you are constantly choosing WHAT shows up and what occurs. There is no room in the mind of a creator/co-creator for stuff happening "by some other means", or of your choices being unheard, or of your decisions lacking power, or of your causation lacking effects.
This is a course in TAKING BACK YOUR POWER. And that means and includes the total responsibility and ownership of being THE CAUSE OF all your suffering, in every form it takes, INCLUDING the condition of the body, all of its forms and sickness and suffering, and even over death itself. You even have the power to literally move mountains and to make worlds. Only in this extreme of absolute ownership of the POWER OF GOD, which is your inheritance, is victimhood and vulnerability and pain and misery snuffed out forever. There is no power OTHER THAN the power of God that you share with him.
The question is whether you are willing to go all the way to accept this power, to take on this role and position of being ruler of the universe, whether you are willing to OWN this power and regain access to USE it consciously. Whether you are ready to let go of all victimhood roles and all sense of not choosing or not being the one who makes things happen. It's putting you in the hot-seat. If you are to reach the resurrection and FINISH the curriculum, you MUST gain the absolute power over death, which gives you the ability to cancel and reverse and prevent it EVEN on a physical level.
"I raised the dead by KNOWING that life is an eternal attribute of everything that the living God Created. Why do you believe that it is harder for me to inspire the dis-spirited or to stabilize the unstable? I do not believe that there is an order of difficulty in miracles: YOU do."
If you believe that sickness happens through some other reason, by some other cause, something in the world or body, something environmental, something someone else does to you, if events happen on their own chaotically or randomly, if death chooses for you when you will die, if sickness happens to the body, if sickness can remain within the body against the mind's choice, and if you believe that you do NOT have the power to do anything about this, that IS an egoic position of victimhood and powerlessness. And we are all-too comfortable playing this role.
It means you are "playing the game of death", as an immortal being, PRETENDING that you do NOT have the power of God, and trying to pull off a stunt of making it look AS IF you are not the one causing everything to occur. When it appears you did not choose something, it is an illusion. You are ALWAYS choosing what you experience, what you feel, what happens with the body, what events transpire. NOTHING happens without your consent. This is because you are an infinitely powerful being with an extremely powerful unlimited mind capable of creating entire worlds.
"There are no accidents in salvation."
"Your Father created you Wholly without sin, wholly without pain, and wholly without suffering of any kind. If you deny Him, you bring sin, pain, and suffering into your OWN mind, because of the power He gave it. Your mind is capable of creating worlds, but it can also DENY what it creates, because it is free."
Owning up to this power - the shared Power of God - which is UNLIMITED, and there is NOTHING that this power (thus your holiness) cannot do .... places you in a position of being co-creator with God. For a creator there is nothing that comes IN to you from the outside, there is ONLY an outflowing from the inside outward. An extension so strong it cannot be stopped. The unlimited will of God.
You cannot have things coming at you, attacking you, changing you, affecting you, choosing for you. YOU are the master. You dominate everything. You are the ultimate cause. YOU are in charge of your destiny. You are NEVER a victim, and NOTHING happens without your choosing it and causing it. OWN THIS, and you will be free from suffering and death forever.
"My Self is ruler of the universe." It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."
"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is."
"I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."
"When you are weary, remember you have hurt yourself. Your Comforter will rest you, but YOU cannot. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW, for if you did, you could never have grown weary. Unless you have hurt yourselves, you could never suffer in ANY way, for that is not God's Will for His Son. Pain is not of Him, for He knows no attack, and His peace surrounds you silently."
"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes."
"The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth. For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."
"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you. Yet when you accord it mercy, will its mercy shine on you."
"Your holiness reverses all the laws of the world. It is beyond every restriction of time, space, distance, and limits of any kind. Your holiness is totally unlimited in its power because it establishes you as a Son of God, at one with the Mind of his Creator. Through your holiness the power of God is made manifest. Through your holiness the power of God is made available. And there is nothing the power of God cannot do."
"Say ONLY this, but MEAN it with NO reservations, for here the power of salvation lies: ... I AM responsible for what I see. I CHOSE the feelings I experience, and I DECIDED ON the goal I would achieve. And everything that SEEMS to happen TO me, I ASKED FOR and received as I had asked. ... Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done TO you. Acknowledge but that YOU have been mistaken, and ALL effects of your mistakes will disappear."
Sickness in your own body is an attempt to accuse others of sin. It is part of the process of projection. "You but accuse your brother of your own sins" "Sick bodies are accusers".
This is entirely to do with cause and effect. In your natural state you are purely causal. You are not at the effect of anything external. But when you believe in your own sinfulness, you go into denial and disown the sin, projecting it outwards.
In other words, you take the causality from within yourself and hand it over to something outside of you. You now see cause as outside you, and effects as inside of you. Your mind believes both, that someone else is the cause of you, and you are being affected by them. That you have effects in you.
Due to believing in being affected, your mind powerfully manufacture signs and symptoms in your body as a reflection of your own belief, that you are having effects. It puts them through THROUGH its belief in the CAUSES that it sees itself as subject to. This is entirely based on the belief that there is a cause outside of you with power over you, dictating what you are, changing you against your will, and thus that there SHOULD BE effects in you correlating to the hierarchy of illusions.
Your mind itself creates the effects in you, and through believing that you are affected, invents weakness, suffering, sickness and death in the body. This manifests in the body as a symbolic representation of this attitude and thus the body becomes sick. The sickness of the body is entirely a PART OF the process of the projection of sin onto others. As you project mentally, the body communicates the attack by taking on the form of the message.
By using the body to accuse rather than to extend love, the body BECOMES accused, depicts accusation, turns into a form of attack, and is distorted by the mind's belief in its own affectedness. Essentially, "toxic harmful messages" passing through it affect it negatively. The body out-pictures the mind's sick attitude about itself and its brothers. The body now shows what the mind is believing and being used for, as symptoms of sickness and malfunction materialize by the power of the mind.
So there is this thing happening on a mental level where the mind is believing in sin and projecting it outward onto others. Your brother is being accused of sin and is being attacked by your mind. This belief simultaneously affects your PERCEPTION, which is now backwards (false perception), whereby you now see your brother as sinning against you and is the cause of your suffering. He is made into the real sinner who has power over you, as a false perception.
Then at the same time, on the physical level, the body is entirely caught up in this psychological process, is swept up in the attack and is distorted at the level of form to depict the attacking attitude. It becomes a "picture of crucifixion" which testifies and shows PROOF to your brother that HE must have been the CAUSE of you, and here are the EFFECTS to prove it. You show him the effects as part of your accusation and projection, to try to convince him of its wrongfulness. This all happens at once, mentally and physically.
So now the body becomes a physical accuser, demonstrating that there must have been a sin against you, because the body is under attack against your will (so it seem), and symptoms are providing fake evidence to show for it. As your brother looks upon this sick body, even if he has absolutely nothing to actually do with the situation, if he beholds your accusatory body he does not see his forgiveness there. And instead seems himself standing condemned, which weakens his mind.
Unless he is able to forgive himself, and thus completely overlook your demonstration of blame, which would allow him to be unaffected, his own belief in his own sinfulness will be compounded by your demonstration. If he can overlook it and not buy it, he can potentially offer healing to you. If he fails to overlook it, he will merely add to your sickness and compound it, taking the opportunity to rebel and project his own sin onto you in a joint ego encounter of mutual unconsciousness.
Your sick body does nothing at all to help him heal and is an attempt to infect him. It shows this on physical levels such as through infection and disease and contagion. Such sickness show up AS contagious because the mind TRYING to transfer sin to the other person.. I'm not sharing this to make anyone feel guilty. This is just something that we need to look honestly at if we are to move towards healing. But beware that Jesus holds absolutely nothing back when he presents this idea
"***The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill.*** Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
So Jesus is saying here, YOUR sickness, even your physical sickness, is part of an attempt by your ego's belief in sin, to project or give away the sin to others through accusation and projection. And as your body becomes sick, through your OWN indirect causality, as part of your sinful USE of the body, you get to show everyone why someone ELSE caused it.
It even goes as far as to say, that if you cause your body to DIE, in physical death, you are WILLING to do so because it assuages your guilt, portrays you as the innocent helpless victim, allows everyone else to be accused of causing it (external causes of death), and is thus the ego's attempt to exonerate you. This is why we have a belief that people die "against their will", "unchosen", "unfairly", and feel sorry for the whole episode. It's all part of the ego's worship of death as salvation.
This means you would be literally **willing to die**, to pay the price of death, IF it means you can be considered innocent and not the cause of sin. If the world can be considered the cause of it, YOU get off as the innocent party. And so death "saves you" from having sinned. This is what happens upon EVERY death. This is the CAUSE of every single physical death. "No one dies without their own consent". And this is why death of the body PROVES a complete failure to choose against sin and accusation. Death is a state of total disownership of self, life, will, power and responsibility and is an attempt to destroy the Son of God.
So it kind of boils down to this. When your mind believes in sin, it will project that sin onto others, see cause as external, experience backwards/false perception, and induce deliberate illness in the body to correspond to "what effects likely wold be produced" by such a cause. The body then shows proof that your brother is sinful because effects remain in the body. And as you literally SHOW him this sick body, you remain accusing him. And you will not REMOVE the effects from your body, because you want to CONTINUE accusing him.
"For it becomes the symbol of reproach, the sign of guilt whose consequences still are there to see, so that the cause can NEVER be denied."
"A sick and suffering you but represents your brother's guilt; the witness which you send, lest he forget the injuries he gave, from which you swear he never will escape."
"The unhealed CANNOT pardon. For they are the witnesses that pardon is unfair. They would retain the CONSEQUENCES of the guilt they overlook. Yet no-one CAN forgive a sin which he believes is real. And what has consequences MUST be real, because what it has DONE is there to see."
The important thing is, there is a flip side. What happens when you choose NOT to believe in sin? What happens when your mind decides to be holy and healed and loving towards others? With no sin to project, the entire projective process stops. That means the mind stops believing causality is external. It takes causality off the shoulders of your brother. It stops seeing itself as a victim at the effect of anyone else. Perception reverses along with cause and effect, such that you now see yourself as the cause, not the effect. And thus all "effects" in you, and in the body, literally disappear. Because without an externalized cause, they cannot remain.
The result of this is that your body is not USED to accuse, or to attack, but to HEAL. Because the mind MADE the symptoms as "effects" in the body as fake evidence to accuse your brother with, the mind ALSO has the power to UNDO those symptoms. "You made sickness and death and can therefore abolish both." By TAKING BACK YOUR POWER from externally projected "cause", you reclaim causality internally and stop seeing yourself as "having effects". The effects cannot stay WITHOUT projected causality, because you now see yourself as ONLY CAUSAL. "I am not at the effect of the world I see" is healing.
By extending love and healing through the body, the body DEPICTS harmlessness, holiness, innocence and the ABSENCE of sin. Just as the mind invented the symptoms of sickness due to its belief in "being affected", it also UN-INVENTS the symptoms as a result of believing "I am NOT at the effect of the world." Through believing "my brother is NOT the cause of me", the body is healed. By NOT using the body to communicate attack or blame, the body stops SHOWING symbolic signs of attack or blame. All sickness is lifted away from it BY the mind and it is healed through mind power Because you are the CAUSE of all of this. Sickness and death is a CHOICE.
There are NO exceptions or loopholes to this dynamic. When the mind is healed, it heals the body and forces the body to NOT show any signs of attack. "The mind, being sane, heals the body." "Now is the body healed by miracles." When the mind is in a state of sin, it attacks the body and makes it sick. "Sickness is anger taken out upon the body." "Sickness is an attempt to prove you can be hurt (by others)." The body SHOWS what the mind's attitude towards itself and its brothers is. "A broken body SHOWS the mind HAS NOT been healed." Always.
It boils down to, healthy mind, healthy body. Sick mind, sick body. Sin and projection, body depicts attack. Forgiveness and healing, body depicts the absence of attack. Loving shows up as a divinely healed lovely body devoid of all signs of suffering, and symbolizes Christ and eternal life.
"This can be accomplished only if the mind EXTENDS to other minds, and does not ARREST ITSELF in its extension. The arrest of the mind's extension is the ***cause of all illness***, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND'S FUNCTION. Block this, and you have blocked health because you have BLOCKED THE MIND'S JOY."
"The central lesson is always this; that what you use the body for it will become to you.Use it for sin or for attack, which is the same as sin, and you will see it as sinful. Because it is sinful it is weak, and being weak, it suffers and it dies.Use it to bring the Word of God to those who have it not, and the body becomes holy. Because it is holy it cannot be sick, nor can it die. When its usefulness is done it is laid by, and that is all. The mind makes this decision, as it makes all decisions that are responsible for the body's condition. ... He does not suffer either in going or remaining. Sickness is now impossible to him."
Jesus is absolutely NOT saying that the body "sometimes" heals. He is not saying "it might, it might not." He is saying IT HAS TO symbolize the mind at all times. The body is an EFFECT, not a cause. The body is not AT the effect of the world. It does not "become sick" through external causes. Those are fake. It becomes sick only if the mind approves of the sickness for its purposes of projection. The body is being USED, it does hot have a say in it. Effects do not cause anything.
Nor is there such a thing as "death happens against my will." This is entirely a fictional ego belief. Death happens when your mind chooses to attack your brother. Your attempted murder of him, kills your body. When you love and forgive all people, your body CANNOT BE SICK OR DIE. Sickness and death literally become impossible. And this is the resurrection, in which death is surmounted and has NO POWER over you.
Giving and receiving are one. If you give ONLY LIFE, you will receive only life. If you give sin and death, you will receive sin and death. This is also the golden rule. If you believe you brother is sinful and you attack him for it with your body image, you WILL attack yourself and believe you are sinful. This will make you sick, mentally and physically. If you give him healing, you will be healed. "I will heal as I let him teach me to heal."
This is A Course in Miracles. A central teaching. The Holy Spirit has a perfectly healed body and mind to offer you to use in the world as a teaching device. But it is only accessible by not sinning against yourself and others. It IS possible to REVERSE, UNDO, and HEAL, all forms of sickness and death. Not only in yourself, but also in others. This is what it mean to be miraculous.
"And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo.""
"Now in the hands made gentle by His touch, the Holy Spirit lays a picture of a DIFFERENT you. It is a picture of a body still, for what you REALLY are can not be seen nor pictured. But THIS one has NOT been used for purpose of attack, and therefore never suffered pain at all. IT witnesses to the eternal truth that you can not BE hurt, and points BEYOND itself to both YOUR innocence and HIS."
"The body can become a sign of life, a promise of redemption, and a breath of immortality to those grown sick of breathing in the fetid scent of death. Let it have healing as its PURPOSE. Then will it send forth the message it received, and ***by its health and loveliness*** proclaim the truth and value ***that it represents***. Let it receive the power to represent an endless life, forever unattacked. And to your brother let its message be, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I live.""
Such a healed body HEALS YOUR BROTHER through its example.
"Correction IS the function given both, but neither one alone. And when it is fulfilled as SHARED, it MUST correct mistakes in both of you. It CANNOT leave mistakes in one unhealed, and make the other free. THAT is DIVIDED purpose, which cannot BE shared, and so it CANNOT be the function which the Holy Spirit sees as His."
"What you would prove to him you will believe. The power of witness COMES from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but testifies to what you teach to him. Your body can be means to teach that it has never suffered pain because of him. And in its healing can it offer him mute testimony to his innocence. It is THIS testimony that can speak with power greater than a thousand tongues. For here is his forgiveness PROVED to him. A miracle can offer nothing LESS to him than it has given unto you. So does your healing show your mind is healed, and has forgiven what he did NOT do. And so is HE convinced his innocence was never lost, and healed along with you."
"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to SHOW him, by your healing, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream.
How just are miracles! For they bestow an equal gift of full deliverance from guilt upon your brother AND yourself. YOUR healing saves HIM pain, as well as you. And YOU are healed BECAUSE you wished him well. This is the law the miracle obeys"
I've heard some people saying that we do not perform miracles. I've also heard some people saying that Jesus always acknowledged God as the one who does miracles. I've also heard people saying that we do not have any power to do anything, we're supposed to "do nothing", and our only job is not to interfere. I'd like to clarify this.
Consider these quotes:
"To recognize that all power is of God is to gain all power."
"The power of God and not of you engenders miracles."
"What the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly not of this world."
"You do not do them."
"The power to work miracles belongs to you."
"I am not afraid but all powerful."
"There is nothing your holiness cannot do."
"You share the Holy Spirit's function on Earth." "Your function on earth is Healing."
"Do His works."
"I have nothing that does not come from God."
"You are forever host to God."
"You must be ready, willing and able."
"All power in heaven and earth has been given you."
"It was only my DECISION that gave me all power in Heaven and earth."
"All power in Heaven and earth is therefore given him and he will share it with you when you have completed yours."
"All power is given unto you in Earth and Heaven. There is nothing you cannot do."
There is no contraction in these statements even though some of them seem to talk about God/HS doing stuff, some talk about you doing stuff, and some about you both doing stuff.
If you think in terms of EITHER OR... like, either God has the power OR I do. Or.... either God does miracles OR I do.. .. this is how the ego thinks. It's a separation-based form of reasoning, because the ego does not like to acknowledge any kind of sharing or oneness or joining.
It's not a question of whether God OR you perform miracles. Or whether God OR you have power. Nor is it really a question of whether God OR you do them. The "setup", or the arrangements of parts and functions in the machinery of miracle working, is more sophisticated than this.
We can't think of this RELATIONSHIP between you and God, in terms of either-or. Either him or me. That's ego thinking. We have to look at how we actually relate to him.
In heaven, God GAVE all of Himself to you in your creation. He EXTENDED Himself AS you, giving you His power, His will, His Mind, His strength, His love, His freedom etc. You HAVE all of this stuff, because He gave it to you. And He gave it to you FULLY.
"God is my strength."
"God is the mind with which I think" etc
"The soul has not only been created perfect, it has been FULLY created."
"All loving creation is freely given."
So now this sets up a scenario where you have God IN you. You are HOST to God. You have an "inner altar" where God is shining within you, with HIS light. You shine brightly WITH light, because the light is IN you AS you, but the you didn't PUT the light there, the light IS GOD ie "of God". Yet it IS your light.
It is true to say, that all love is God's love and there is no other love. It is also true to say that God IS the light in which you see and there is no other light. And it is true to say that vision is GIVEN you just as love is given you. God is the SOURCE and PROVIDER of these things. What you have is an INHERITANCE. You INHERIT power from God.
Since God does FULLY GIVE these gifts, you do FULLY HAVE them. In fact, in your creation you were created to BE a POWERFUL CO-CREATOR. This does not mean that you are just some kind of puppet for God to manipulate. Nor does it mean that God coerces you into doing His will. Nor does it mean that you just sort of "step aside" or "get out of the way" and DON'T PARTICIPATE, so that God goes about HIS business without your grubby little hands getting into the mix. God Wills that YOU will to create WITH Him. This is why you have "children of my will."
The way it's set up, you actually CONTRIBUTE. You have the power TO CREATE. You actually CO-CREATE with God. BOTH of you create together. And you create in ACCORD with His will. But this isn't coercion, or being a puppet, or having no say in what is created. God has given you free will and the power to choose. So now you AND GOD, together, are co-creating the Kingdom. This is why YOU have YOUR OWN CREATIONS, because YOU have the power to create them.
Now, because His will is YOUR will, and his power is your power, by acknowledging that all power is OF (from) Him, allows you to ACCEPT that He has GIVEN you His power, and therefore YOUR sense of "my power" is in fact HIS power. This is what it means that "God is the mind with which I think" and "God is my strength". What seems to be YOURS, is ALSO his. The power that you inherently have is in fact God Himself, in you.
The distinction that has to be made is that God is not the ONLY ONE who has power. God is not the ONLY ONE who creates. And God is not the ONLY ONE who does anything.
The ego likes to claim that it has a power which is OF itself. A power which IT HAS, which God DID NOT give to it. It's an invented power, an alien will. This is the authority problem. It's the attempt to believe that you have and can do things which God did not allow or give. That you "gave yourself" your own creation and your own power. And now you depend on "yourself alone".
But then let's consider what is the OPPOSITE to this. And this is where we have to be VERY careful. It is NOT appropriate to say that, since the ego is the idea of "a power of my own"... that the opposite of this is "I have no power". That is NOT the truth. It is only the "of my own" that changes.
Before joining with God, you will believe that any power you have is YOUR OWN power, in isolation, separate from God. But as you join with God, you have to be careful not to believe that you are entering into a state of having NO POWER. God did not create powerless beings. Christ is not a powerless being.
"I am not afraid but all powerful."
It's the "by myself" part that goes away. Which means, that when you are not doing everything ALONE, you are now doing everything WITH God. And this is a relationship of SHARING! It's not the same thing as a relationship where God is the ONLY ONE who has power. That's the ego's idea of its opposite, a tyrannical God who has power OVER it who makes IT have no power and takes everything away from it. That's the idea of NOT sharing anything. And that's not how God operates.
YOU are to reclaim and regain YOUR power. BUT, this can only be done by recognizing that the power which is YOURS, is not OF you. "Of" means "from". You do not originate your power in yourself, it comes from God. And your power IS God Himself being powerful. But because you are ONE with Him and joined and share with Him, literally, IT IS YOURS. God has created you to BE a powerful CO-CREATOR with Him. You will TOGETHER.
Jesus for example performed miracles and he attributed the power to accomplish the miracles to God. However, this can be misunderstood. If it is taken to mean "ONLY GOD did anything", this ignores the FUNCTION that Jesus had as a miracle WORKER. It is completely appropriate to attribute all power - the source of the power - TO God, but it is NOT appropriate to DISOWN that power, because it IS yours. And Jesus IS POWERFULLY MIRACULOUS.
You see, there is a function that you fill. "The only function of spirit is to extend God's being." "Miracles are a universal blessing from God, through me, to all my brothers." "Love goes out because of what it is, but you are needed that it can begin." YOU.... have to fulfill a FUNCTION.... in order for miracles to GO OUT. When you block this function, which is extension and expression of YOUR mind's power, miracles do not happen. "Miracles should be happening all the time, but when they do not something has gone wrong."
Your function, which is healing while on earth, and creating while in heaven, are mirrors. Being a miracle worker is in line with being a co-creator. You are an extender of God. But YOU yourself HAVE to fulfill a comprehensive list of requirements in order to do this. You can't just sit there "doing nothing".
Your mind has to be miracle minded. Your heart has to be open. You have to be willing to love. You have to express love. You need to be free from fear. You have to have purified yourself. You have to be placing faith and trust in God and the Holy Spirit. You have to be open to the Holy Spirit working through you because He is the mechanism of miracles. You have to be willing to go and be where the people are that Jesus sends to you, lay your hands on them, pray for them etc. In fact, Jesus says this about doing nothing...
"This quiet center, IN WHICH YOU DO NOTHING, will remain with you, giving you rest in the midst of every busy doing on which you are sent."
"I need do nothing" is a state of inner calm WHILE you are operating in the world. It is NOT a state of inactivity.
So you have to actually step up and BE the powerful, co-creative, extending, loving, miraculous, unified, whole being that God created you to be, in order for you to perform miracles. There is a ROLE that you play. A function that you have. You are NEEDED to fulfill this function, as the light of the world, in order FOR miracles to be ABLE to express and extend. You actually HOLD BACK God's miracles when you resist doing this. If you weren't holding back, they'd be happening ALL THE TIME.
Jesus is clear that YOU are a powerful entity. The only distinction is that this power that you have, did not COME FROM you. God IS this power. He literally is embedded into your being like a battery. He POWERS you. And you in turn USE His power, which is YOURS, to perform miracles. And by being ONE WITH His Power, when you use his power, it IS HIM doing this through you, but it is ALSO you doing it WITH him.
If you were to perform such miracles and then CLAIM, that "I did this all by myself WITHOUT God", this would be arrogant. But to claim "I did this WITH God" or "God did this THROUGH me" AND "I fulfilled MY function as well", that's appropriate. Because you ARE powerful and loving and creative and a force to be reckoned with. There is nothing egoic about acknowledging that you are a powerful creative being, provided you don't claim to be that way WITHOUT God.
This is why Jesus is getting you to re-acknowledge YOUR power, which is God's.
"I am not afraid but all powerful."
"Power is of God, GIVEN by Him, and re-awakened by the Holy Spirit, Who knows that, as you give you GAIN."
"Those who choose freedom will experience only its results. Their power is of God. And they will give it only to what God has given, to share with them."
"See, then, the power of sinlessness within your brother, and share with him the power of the release from sin you offered him."
"Here again is the paradox often referred to in the course. To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. ***As God created you, you have all power.*** The image you made of yourself has none."
The image you made of yourself is the ego, not your soul/self. It is ONLY the ego that has NO power. This is why it can only seem to have power when YOU give it power, because YOU have power TO give, because it was given to you. By acknowledging that "of yourself you can do nothing" does NOT mean that YOU can do nothing. Only that you cannot do anything WITHOUT the source of power. Add in fact YOUR power IS God IN you, so rejecting God rejects your power and makes you weak.
It means you can only do nothing IF you are alone. It means you can do nothing BY YOURSELF. That isn't the same thing as saying that when you INCLUDE God, you STOP being able to doing anything at all. It's the "by myself" part that is the ego. All by yourself you have no power and are weak and can do nothing. Acknowledging God as the source of your power, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
"There is nothing your holiness cannot do."
We are JOINED with God. We SHARE with God. God IS in us. Our power IS his power. His strength is in us AS OUR strength. We are not "separated off" from God, like some kind of weak container that God sometimes visits and passes through. We are literally HIS will. We are HIS power. We are one with Him. And He has established us as having UNLIMITED POWER, BECAUSE He shares His power with us.
You have to stay plugged into God, basically. So long as you are hosting and staying plugged into God, YOU get the electrical charge of his power supply. If you UNPLUG yourself, you become isolated, and become weak, because you have no power OTHER than the power of God. Alone you have no power, but ego will claim there is "self-power" that it made. WITH GOD you ARE all powerful. We must acknowledge that God DOES the miracles, but He only does them WITH you, and CAN only do them when YOU cooperate with Him, because YOU BOTH do them, just as you BOTH create.
This is why YOU are a miracle worker and a miracle doer. This is why YOU have to become miracle minded. This is why YOU have to be willing to extend love. It's not a matter of you stepping out of the way onto the sidelines efforting not to interfere, passively, while a SEPARATE power does stuff. Your function is NOT passive or inert. It's that YOU AND GOD need to get IN LINE with each other, BOTH of you need to WILL together, and BOTH of you fulfill your functions in the machinery.
This is also why Jesus says things like "DO his works" and "What the holy spirit enables YOU TO DO is clearly not of this world." The power is joined. There IS a "doing" component on YOUR PART that is required here. It's just that what you become ABLE to do is BEYOND what you can do ALONE, YOU do not understand miracles because they come FROM God and yet YOU CAN DO THEM. And you are being ASKED TO do them. Add you can only do them by SHARING.
"The power to work miracles belongs to you."
"The distinction has also been made here between "miracle-mindedness" as a STATE, and "miracle-doing" as its expression."
If miracles are expressions of love, then DOING a miracle is to EXPRESS love. Expression is a DOING. It's an ACTIVE role. Expression is not a state. This is why in the great crusade, "members of my party are ACTIVE workers." Not passive sideline-sitters. You are a powerful co-creator and a powerful miracle-worker. But you GET your power from God, and HE IS the power that you utilize. Thus HE AND YOU work together to perform miracles.
"Atonement is the natural profession of the children of God."
"The first two are not enough. The real members of MY party are ACTIVE workers.
The power to work Miracles BELONGS to you. I will create the right opportunities for you to do them. But you must be ready and willing to do them, since you are already able to. Doing them will bring conviction in the ability. I repeat that you will see Miracles through your hands through MINE. Conviction really comes through accomplishment. Remember that ability is the potential, Achievement is its expression, and Atonement is the Purpose."
"The ego is certain that love is dangerous, and this is always its central teaching. 2 It never puts it this way; on the contrary, everyone who believes that the ego is salvation seems to be intensely engaged in the search for love. 3 Yet the ego, though encouraging the search for love very actively, makes one proviso; do not find it. 4 Its dictates, then, can be summed up simply as: "Seek and do not find." 5 This is the one promise the ego holds out to you, and the one promise it will keep"
The ego is simply an attempt to deny the existence of love. Using it, you deny the existence of love within you. This means you put in place a belief, that you do not have love in you. That you are not made of love or are inherently love.
Since love is the absolute core essence of what you are, your soul, to suggest there is no love in you is an attempt to say "love is not your identity." Your very "self" is brought into question.
This creates the belief in a LACK of love within you, and also the belief you are NOT love and cannot BE loved. This is brought about by the idea of sin, which suggests you are separate from Love - from yourself, and from God.
Since you believe it’s not in you, and you feel empty and lacking, you have now become "needy". You’ve invented a fake need - an absence of love. This compels you to SEEK FOR LOVE. You reason it is not in you, so it must be ANYWHERE else other than in you.
The problem is, it is not ANYWHERE ELSE other than in you, shared with God. So as soon as you start to seek for it, you move AWAY from where it is, and TOWARDS where it is not. It is not "out there", outside of you.
This compulsion to address the "hole" in your heart by finding what’s "missing", sends you on an extraordinary journey away from yourself. You are literally trying to "find yourself" anywhere other than where you are, within. You are also therefore trying to find love, anywhere other than where it is, within.
This then means you don’t believe the love is going to come from yourself. Someone or something OTHER than you has to provide it. So now, whether or not you have love, or even your self, depends on someone or something outside of you providing it. If they fail to provide it, it’s their fault. I they provide it, you worship them. Anything other than seeing it in yourself.
This also means therefore, you now believe that someone else has taken posession or responsibility for your love, and your self, as if having stolen it from you. You now see your self and your love, in other people, locked up inside them, as though it’s stuck in them. And now it’s your job to steal it back from them. You believe it belongs to you, and that you’ve lost it.
What you are looking for in them, however, is not real love. You already believed that there is no real love in you. You already chose not to have real love. You saw yourself as unworthy of it when you believed in sin (separation from love). This made you perceive that there is no love outside you either, because you will perceive externally what is within your beliefs. A lack of love in you will show you its absence outside of you. So real love is nowhere to be found.
Instead, what you seek for is a replacement for love, a substitute for love, and for yourself. You are seeking for specialness, some sense of "value" that you want and think is worth having - or which will save you from your emptiness. And you are also trying to find a substitute identity, something which can stand in for who you really are. Something which seems special and can somehow be similar to the love you lost sight of. You want to become spiritual and special and the best you can be.
This is all described in the laws of chaos.
Law #1) The truth is different for everyone - this results from everyone failing to see an equivalent love in themselves. What they see themselves as they believe is truth. If they are not all the same love, their own selves are different and conflicting, so now the truth is different because identities are different.
Law #2) Everyone must sin and deserves attack and death - comes about from having attacked yourself and believing that someone else did it to you. Disowning your own love and your own self was an act of becoming irresponsible, through disassociation, and therefore someone else is responsible for what you are. That means it seems like they took this love from you, so you are justified in attacking back to re-acquire what they stole, or to force them to give it to you.
3) God is believed to agree with your lack of love - since you yourself believe it is true, see love/God as separate, and as having attacked, you believe the truth is that love is no longer love. That means God is not love, so God agrees you are not love, which means God cannot help you to get your love or self back. If neither of you are love, you have to get it somewhere else.
4) You can get from others what you lack - since they stole it you feel justified in getting it from them. In the least, to have them willingly shower you with specialness. In the worst, to rip it from their dying limbs in a murderous attack. What is it that you are trying to get from them? A replacement for the love you lost - specialness and a replacement identity.
In addition to this process, the absence of love compels you to find a substitute in specialness. A lack of love makes the illusory world seem real to you. You are blind to its fantasy because your lack of love makes you feel imprisoned by it, like a needy inmate. Your mind now is in a split state, because you’ve introduced a separation between you and love. Between you and yourself. This has split your mind and you are now split minded, in two minds.
When the mind is split, it sees one half of the split as different to the other in some way. Typically this skews the mind‘s associations where one part of the mind seems to contain illusions of innocence, and the other part illusions of attack/guilt. One part is thought to be your self, the other not yourself. This is disassociation.
The mind associates more with the part which seems innocent as a way to avoid the pain of "no love", ie sin, and relegates the rest of the belief in sin to unconsciousness. This later is projected out and is not associated with as "my self". It is considered "other than me", even though it is inside the same mind. "Ideas leave not their source", so your "enemy" is now inside your own mind, making it able to attack you. It is you attacking you. All attack is self attack. (The secret to salvation is that you are doing this to yourself).
The part of mind that tries to focus only on an ILLUSION of love, an illusion of innocence, an illusion of spirituality, an illusion of peace and happiness, remains in conscious awareness. It is what has been "permitted" into awareness. "You" then think that this self is ALL of yourself. You do not see the rest, yet alone see it as yourself. You think it is "outside you", because it is external to your persona, but is not outside your mind.
This special part of the mind, the persona, makes the world seem real and then attempts to section it off into "good and bad", "right and wrong", "spiritual and ego". This is because the mind has done the same thing to itself, labeling some parts as innocent and some as guilty. It separates the world and labels some parts or behaviors or diets or clothes or actions as "spiritual" and some parts as "evil". Then it pits them against each other.
The shift towards trying to include and accept only the parts which seem spiritual, and to reject the parts which seem evil, reinforces the artificial sense of sef which your mind is trying to build. It is trying to assemble a fake self, a replacement self, to replace the one you hid from yourself.
Since this all takes place within one "realm", whether your mind or in the world, it means you’ll create an ILLUSION of spirituality, and will try to change the ego into a "more spiritual" self. You’ll surround it with all kinds of things which look and sound spiritual, based on judgement and selecting between illusions.
The problem is that this fake self which is trying to only accept the most spiritual illusions as a sign of awakening, is also attacking the rest of the world, and yourself, to try to get rid of any trace of evil/sin.
In the name of "perfecting your self" - your fake self - you’ll attack your real self constantly to pick it apart and find any little thing wrong with it (which you judged/condemned as true of you), to get rid of that and keep only the best parts. This gradually rips you apart piece by piece. It is actually an act of self destruction, because eventually there will be nothing less. It is self attack in the name of self improvement or "self help".
The more that you try to develop a replacement self, and to make it spiritual, the less there will be of you. It will create a facade of niceness, seeming spiritual, trying to love everyone, being positive, people pleasing, idol worship, wearing the right clothes, saying the right words, getting dressed up for the lord on sundays to asuage guilt, having all the special books and charms and magical things. All to create an illusion of spirituality.
The problem is this spirituality is constantly under attack by the very parts of Self which that same fake self has judged as evil. Having made sin real, the "sinful others" - your own unconscious self, is now your constant enemy. You’ll try to hide from it and avoid it. You’ll try to keep it "in others" or "other than yourself". You’ll see it outside of you and attack it and condemn it to disassociate from it. And yet it will haunt you and keep coming back into your awareness, back into your life, to remind you of what you think of yourself. Because it is in your mind and you can’t make it go away without healing the split.
This fake spirituality takes constant defense. It is exhausting. It also does not work - to undo sin or guilt. Yet it is filled with promise and hope and yearning and striving and trying and being passionate about all these magical illusions of wonderfulness. And it still leads to death, be sure of that.
The more you seek for love the less love you have, the less life you have, the more you will become sick and die. "All sickness is a form of seeking outside of yourself." When this fakeness is pointed out, it is taken as a terrible attack. A horrifying truth. In particular when the special relationship is undermined, or shown to be fake, it can be very upsetting. And so wages the supposed spiritual war between good an evil. Between yourself and yourself.
The ego is simply a device you made to show you a distorted version of the truth. It only has one function, to block love. To shut out spirit. It will never have another function. But a person with fake spirituality will try to change the ego into something spiritual. To take it into the light. To make it be closer to God. This will threaten its destruction, and the "you" who is identified with it, will take this as an attack. This is the source of all ego rebounds, and much sickness, which implements defenses against truth to "protect" the ego.
The problem here is, your sense of identity has become associated with the ego. You are then trying to convert yourself from emptiness into "having love" or "being spiritual", but while still holding onto the ego. This makes you try to change the ego into something spiritual. It cannot change. It cannot become spiritual. It has a fixed function and a one-track mind focused on death. You’ll have a constant bouncing back and forth between fictional spirituality and despair and fear. Identifying with it automatically keeps it. Keeping it and trying to change it into the truth does not work. Ever. It has to be dis-identified from, to reclaim who you are.
But because we have identified with the ego, and we’re tired of suffering, and want to become more spiritual, we try to change "our self", which now is the ego. All this will do is transform the form that the ego is showing up as. It means changing up your life to "look" more spiritual. To do the spiritual things and not the non-spiritual things. To emphasize how evil the evil stuff is, and how spiritual the spiritual stuff is. To create a special little corner of the world safe from the bad stuff. For a while.
You can see many Christians doing this. Not all, but many. Some, in fundamentalist extremes of ego, heavily believe in "good and evil" and will do anything they can in a war against evil to judge it and make it very wrong, while also trying to cultivate an "image" of being more spiritual. This then entails wearing the "Sunday best", being "good", condemning "evil", adjusting behavior, avoiding sinful behavior, and generally creating an illusion of spirituality. It is very judgemental because there is so much separation in it.
You can also see this in most of the world’s religions. People with their false Gods, their idols, their shrines, their special songs, their statues, their rituals and traditions, their special clothing, daily behaviors, sacred images, holy locations, and various other magical things. You also see this in all super-positive approaches (magical unicorns) and all super-negative approaches (witchcraft etc). Both, being a belief in a special external power, or external love, are beliefs in magic. Just different sides of it.
These are all ego distractions of false spirituality. Also the new-age movement with its positive thinking, magical charms and paraphenalia, law of attraction, yoga, special kinds of body activities, etc is all part and parcel of an illusion of spirituality. Things which seem like they will achieve something, but achieve the opposite, is the hallmark of the ego. The test of any genuine spirituality is whether it "really works" to bring about more awareness of love.
All of this is an attempt to "find yourself". It’s the same thing as trying to find love. Believing that it is OUT THERE, and that if you just try hard enough you will find it. The ego has a response for you. It will tell you that you need to make a lot of passionate effort to become spiritual. It will encourage you to do lots and lots of "spiritual practice". Even if it overwhelms you. Why?
Because it denies that you are already very spiritual. It takes you away from the love that is already in you. Having a really strong passion for "finding the truth" and "finding love" and "becoming spiritual" actually makes you feel hopeless and worthless and unloved. It takes you away from the love that you are already. Appreciating what you already have (gratitude for what God has given) is a better strategy.
The more the ego can emphasize how much love you lack, the more it can compel you to seek for it. The more estranged your are from your own self, the more you think you will find it outside you or in someone else. The more you disown your own love, the more you will blame others for making it go away. And the more you try to find it, the LESS you will find it.
You already had it! Seeking for it makes it seem like it’s not here. Seek, and you will not find it. And you will not find love or truth, or health, or happiness, or wholeness, or peace, or willingness, or power, or unity, or joy, "in" the world outside of you. If you are doing that, prepare to be disappointed. This is the ego’s guarantee.
After you have recognized these illusions and have stopped trying to pretend to be loving or spiritual, through radical honesty and authenticity and responsibility, sorting out what is really true and what is really false, and have surrendered the seeking, and have seen through the TRAP of believing that you are not ALREADY love, you will return back to where you started from. This is the "journey without distance". Your destination, the love within you, where God put it, required no real distance at all. To find it, you didn’t need to travel in dreams at all.
Love is already in you. God put it there.
Your SELF, your real identity, is already in you. God put it there. No-one can give it you you and you can’t find it anywhere. Because you have not lost it.
The only problem you have are the blocks to the *awareness* of love’s presence WITHIN YOU. It’s already there!
It’s just covered up. It’s hidden. Love being hidden makes it seem like love has "gone away". This suggests that you really did become sinful, as if you sin made innocence become corrupted. You never did. You just *covered up* your innocence with a cloud of images of sin, and then tried to cover that up with illusions of innocence. Sin did not corrupt your innocence, or make you unworthy of love. It just temporarily blocked your awareness of it being PRESENT, right here, in you, as you, right now.
You have no needs. You need do nothing. You need not seek for love. "You are the love you’ve been looking for." All that is needed for enlightenment is the recognition of this truth. "Enlightenment is a recognition and not a change at all." It means recognizing where love IS, that you ARE IT, accepting that it is COMPLETELY TRUE OF YOU, your willingness to receive it from God, and your willingness to accept it is IN YOURSELF ALREADY! Accepting the atonement is accepting that you never did lose the love that you are.
You already have the light in you. You already have the truth in you. You just don’t believe it’s there or that you’re worthy of it, or that you want it, or that you need it, or that you can have it, or that it hasn’t gone way. Love didn’t leave you. Love didn’t reject you. You left love. This is the inheritance that we threw away. And which is waiting for us to reclaim. God has kept our love safe for us, forever.
We ALREADY HAD EVERYTHING we needed. God already gave it fully and shared it with us. It was after having it that we tried to throw it away. But we could not get rid of it. You can’t make love go away. You can’t get rid of God. But you can deny it is there by blocking awareness of it. Remove the blocts, and hey presto, OH LOOK, I AM ALREADY LOVE!!!! I’ve been the love that I‘ve been trying to find, all along! Surprise!
There is a lot of resistance to this very radical part of ACIM, so let's look at it even more closely.
When you project sin onto others, you are accusing them of your own sins. You do this to dissociate from the sin, deny it and hide from it. You try to associate it WITH someone else, so that they are responsible for it, and you're let off the hook.
If you think of sin as CAUSE, you are trying to disown causal power and put it outside of yourself, making you AT THE EFFECT of it. You believe someone else is CAUSING you, affecting you. and deciding what you are.
However, this doesn't just happen on a mental level. It also happens PHYSICALLY. The body is a symbol, not an end in itself.
"It is still true that the body has no function of itself. This is because it is NOT an end."
"The body is the symbol of the world."
"The body is the symbol of the ego, as the ego is the symbol of separation."
It is a communication device. It REPRESENTS the MESSAGE that the mind is transmitting to another. It CHANGES FORM to DEPICT a symbol of the kind of relationship you are having with the person! This is because it is a separation device and takes on the form of "how much separation" there is between you and others. And sickness is a greater degree of separation than health, symbolically.
Images of a healthy, unharmed, pain-free, sickness-free body, SYMBOLIZE ideas of eternal life. It represents innocence and the absence of attack. It symbolizes healing and wholeness and harmlessness. It contains no "proof" that sin has ever happened to it, and there is no evidence that anyone has ever attacked it. Therefore it acts as a SYMBOL OF IMMORTALITY.
However, when the mind is sick, having attack thoughts and belief in sin, which starts the ball rolling with projection and scapegoating, this INFLUENCES the picture of the body. The body actually literally CHANGES FORM to a different symbolic form. Forms of sickness, damage, malfunction, attack, pain, deformity, disability, disease, infection, etc, are all attempts to SHOW your brother that you "think ill of him." The body thus because a SYMBOL OF DEATH. Or as Jesus puts it, a "picture of crucifixion."
"Death is the symbol of the fear of God."
"the one you made, out of your split mind, and which IS the symbol of death."
"Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated, or in need of ANYTHING, you but accuse your brother of attack upon God's Son. You hold a picture of your crucifixion before his eyes (your body in a sick state), that he may see his sins are writ in Heaven in your blood and death (yes PHYSICAL), and go before him, closing off the gate, and damning him to hell."
We actually USE the body as a TOOL. It is a communication device. We actually hold it up as a picture for others to look at to REPRESENT what we think and how we relate. When we are in ego, we change the body into forms of sickness. And when we are with the Holy Spirit, we change the body into forms of health. This is because a "healthy body" DOES symbolize life and wholeness and happiness and innocence. Just as sick bodies SYMBOLIZE attack and suffering and pain and death.
Now here's the important part. The reason WHY you make the body sick ON PURPOSE in order to accuse others of sin. When your mind is healthy, cause and effect are in their proper order and you are extending love outward. You see yourself as the cause or dreamer of the dream. However, when you go into ego, your perception becomes backwards, and you start to see cause as OUTSIDE of you, and see yourself as AN EFFECT.
Your own mind does this, and the result is that it starts to "visualize itself" AS an effect. Whatever way it believes someone ELSE is to blame, or someone ELSE is sinful, it also imagines what kind of EFFECTS that would produce in you if it were true. If some person is believed to be attacking you, YOUR mind will DEPICT itself physically as the symbolic image of an ATTACKED body. Your mind implements the EFFECTS within the body, to correspond to its belief in the projected CAUSE that it sees as outside itself.
So now what's happening is, as cause and effect are reversed, your mind starts to attack itself from the outside in, through others. As you go to scapegoat and blame someone for CAUSING you, for sinning against you, you SIMULTANEOUSLY portray yourself as a victim. You do this mentally, BUT it also in turn CHANGES THE BODY. The body PICTURES what you think of yourself and how you see yourself.
"The body is the symbol of WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE."
Whatever you think you are, your body SYMBOLIZES it physically. If you think of yourself with attack and sin, which you later project, your body takes on a symbolic FORM of that attitude. It represents TWO things ... 1) what you think of yourself, and 2) what you think of others. These are actually one thing, because you are one with others.
So as you go to accuse yourself of sin, you ALSO go to accuse your brother of sin. The body COMES BETWEEN you as a separation device. It is now being USED to symbolically visualize the PRESENCE of attack, darkness, walls, blockages, etc. And so the body shifts its physical appearance (it's just an image in the mind), to represent your relationship to yourself and others. "Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated, or in need of ANYTHING, ***you but accuse your brother of attack upon God's Son***. ***You hold a picture of your crucifixion before his eyes***, that he may see his sins are writ in Heaven in your blood and death, and go before him, closing off the gate, and damning him to hell. "
"For accusation is a bar to love, ***and damaged bodies ARE accusers***. They stand firmly in the way of trust and peace, ***proclaiming*** that the frail can HAVE no trust, and that the damaged HAVE no grounds for peace. Who has been injured BY his brother, and could love and trust him still? He HAS attacked, and will attack again. Protect him not, because ***your damaged body shows that you must be protected FROM him.***"
Bottom line, when your mind is accusing, your BODY accuses as well. It lines up with the mind's attitude. The body itself does NOT have its OWN state, its own attitude, its own decision, or its own mind. It CANNOT maintain itself. It is maintained by the mind, and the mind has power over it. The mind USES it and TELLS it what to do and HOW to show up. It MAKES the body appear in one form or another. And the PURPOSE of any chosen form is to COMMUNICATE through symbols.
So when you are accusing, which means you are projecting, which means you are splitting your mind, your mind causes the body to be used for separation, and this ATTACKS the body and makes it steer towards a PICTURE of crucifixion and death. The INTENT is that the body is acting to PROVE to your brother the consequences of what you claim HE DID. You cannot scapegoat WITHOUT it changing the body. The body is HELD UP as a picture to SHOW HIM effects, which YOU put there, which you accuse HIM of putting there.
So long as the body remains appearing to be sick in any way, and given the mind is the ONLY cause of it, and given the body can ONLY symbolize because it has no meaning or state of its own, the body HAS TO fall into line with the mind's purpose. If the body remains sick in any way, the mind HAS TO be continuing to use it for attack. The body is still showing a symbol of attack BECAUSE the mind is STILL attacking. There are no exceptions to this. It is so reliable that we can say, if the body is still sick, the mind HAS NOT been healed. And it also means if the body is still sick, IT IS STILL accusing your brother of sin.
"A broken body shows the mind has NOT been healed."
"A sick and suffering you but represents your brother's guilt; the witness which you send, lest he forget the injuries he gave, from which you swear he never will escape. This sick and sorry picture YOU accept, if only it can serve to punish him. The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill. Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
It is NOT enough to claim that the mind can be healed WITHOUT healing the body. When the mind is healed, it FORCES the body to symbolize its new condition. The body cannot stay sick or keep sickness or hold onto any given state, because mind is USING IT as a symbolic form of communication. Whatever the mind wants to show a brother, the body HAS TO show. And so the body CHANGES FORM according to the mind.
This works for sickness just as it works for healing. The body cannot stay sick if the mind decides to be truly healthy. No more than it can stay healthy if the mind decides to be sick. Jesus even goes so far as to say that if your mind is truly healed, it WILL heal the body ALWAYS, and this makes it IMPOSSIBLE for the body to become sick. The mind is OVERRIDING any alleged external (projected) causes of sickness, and is TOTALLY OWNING control and power over it. Therefore, it does not CHOOSE to be sick, and so does not MAKE the body show up as sick. This makes sickness of the body IMPOSSIBLE.
"The central lesson is always this; that what you use the body for, it will become to you. Use it for sin or for attack, which is the same as sin, and you will see it as sinful. Because it is sinful it is weak, and being weak it suffers and it dies. Use it to bring the Word of God to those who have It not, and the body becomes holy. Because it is holy it cannot be sick, nor can it die."
"The body's health is fully guaranteed because it is not limited by time, by weather or fatigue, by food and drink, or any laws you made it serve before. You need do nothing now to make it well, for sickness has become impossible." ... ""Yet this protection needs to be preserved by careful watching."
It can't be stressed enough how extreme and unconditional this is. If you so choose, your mind will use the body for attack, which WILL ALWAYS attack the body and FORCE it to depict proof of sin. And this proof of sin will be held up to others to SHOW them what they did to you (allegedly). EVEN to the extent that you are willing to KILL the body entirely, IF it means that you can be exonerated from sin. And he is in fact saying that we do this.
We think it is even a SMALL PRICE to pay, if it means we can be seen as the innocent one, such that a dead body IS VERY STRONG PROOF that someone OTHER than the person CAUSED The death. You'll notice that whenever there is a physical death, it always looks as though the person DID NOTHING to cause it. This is because their mind has DISOWNED the cause by projecting it EXTREMELY, depicting themselves as POWERLESS AND HELPLESS, as if having no ability to choose at all.
"Death is an attempt to resolve conflict by not willing at all."
"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the FEAR OF AWAKENING. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of CONSCIOUSNESS. This is a pathetic way of TRYING NOT TO KNOW by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
By PRETENDING not to be willing at all, to have no choice and no power and no say in the matter, we attack the body and make it show up as DEAD, in trying to ACCUSE THE WORLD OF SIN, so that WE will seem to be the helpless victim. A person who was "killed" NOT by their own hand. Someone who "died of" ANYTHING other than themselves. Died from cancer, died from starvation, died from a car crash, died from war, whatever. Anything so long as it appears to be NOT THE MIND. So that the person can HIDE the fact that THEY DID IT TO THEMSELVES. This is why death is an extreme LIE.
"The power of witness is beyond belief, because it brings conviction in its wake. The witness is believed BECAUSE he points beyond himself, to what he REPRESENTS. (the body is a symbol) A sick and suffering you (physically) but ***represents your brother's guilt***; the witness which you send (communicate physically), lest he forget the injuries (physical) he gave, from which you swear he never will escape. This sick and sorry picture (of your body) YOU accept, if ***only it can serve to punish him***. The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill. ******Death seems an easy price*****, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
So in death, you are using your body to try to PROVE that your BROTHER IS A SINNER. This is the EGO's use of the body. This is what happens when you use the body for attack. It destroys the body. It makes the body show up as sick and suffering and a victim, so that someone or something is framed for sin. That is the ONLY reason this happens. And the mind makes this decision alone.
"The mind makes this decision, as it makes all decisions which are responsible for the body's condition."
The alternative is that if you move towards RESURRECTION, towards life and wholeness and happiness and holiness, this TOO has an "influence on" the body. It has a healing influence, we could say. It causes the mind to DEPICT itself as a symbol of immortality. A symbol of having NOT been attacked, a symbol of being free from suffering, a symbol of eternal life. A symbol of invulnerability and harmlessness and the IMPOSSIBILITY of being sick or hurt.
As such "the mind, being sane, heals the body" and "now is the body healed by miracles." Again the body has NO SAY in this. It is just a symbol. It gets its FORM from the mind's relationship to others. It SYMBOLIZES the communication. As the mind heals the body CANNOT REMAIN SICK. It cannot maintain sickness or keep it, nor is there ANY OTHER CAUSE of physical sickness. Mind has TOTAL control over it.
"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind MUST BE STRONGER. Every miracle demonstrates this."
The mind is STRONGER than the body and the body can only go along with the mind's wishes. If the mind heals, the mind overrides the body image and projects an image of a HEALTHY body. A body which is free from any symbols or signs of attack, harm, damage, breakage, scars, wounds, or anything else which might symbolize the OPPOSITE of eternal life.
Furthermore, when your mind forces your body to heal, because you WANT to SHOW your brothers that you LOVE him, and think HARMLESSLY of him, HE now looks upon your physical body as a MESSAGE. Its physical form PROVES what you THINK of yourself and him. In its healed form, it says "I have never been hurt and you have never hurt me." It PROVES he is innocent. It even proves this BEYOND anything HE tries to do to you.
Even if he thinks he HAS attacked you, YOUR miracle of healing proves to him that HE HAS NOT. And therefor he can no longer BELIEVE that he is a sinner, because you've USED the body to show him, symbolically, that anything he THOUGHT he did had NO effects. This triggers a HEALING IN HIS MIND, because your BODY no longer supports or TEMPTS him to believe that he is sinful. Therefore your body now is used as a HEALING DEVICE and IS SYMBOL OF THE INNOCENCE OF YOUR BROTHER.
"What you would **prove to him** you will believe. The power of witness COMES from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but ***testifies to what you teach to him***. ***Your body can be means to teach that it has never suffered pain because of him.*** And ********in its healing****** can it *******offer him mute testimony to his innocence*******. It is THIS testimony that can speak ****with power greater than a thousand tongues****. For here is *******his forgiveness PROVED to him*******. A miracle can offer nothing LESS to him than it has given unto you. So does your healing (physically) show your mind is (also) healed, and has forgiven what he did NOT do. And so is HE convinced his innocence was never lost, ****and healed along with you****."
"Health (physically) is the witness unto health. As long as it is unattested, it remains without conviction. ****Only when DEMONSTRATED has it BEEN proved, and MUST compel belief*****. No-one is healed through double messages."
"Show THIS unto your brother, who will see that ****every scar is healed****, and every tear is wiped away in laughter and in love. And ****he will look on his forgiveness there****, and with healed eyes will look BEYOND it, to the innocence that he beholds in you. Here is ***the proof that he has NEVER sinned***; that NOTHING that his madness bid him do was ever done, ****or ever had effects of any kind****. That NO reproach he laid upon his heart was EVER justified, and NO attack can touch him with the poisoned sting of fear. Attest (physically) his innocence and NOT his guilt. YOUR healing (physically and mentally) is his comfort ***and HIS health***. BECAUSE it proves illusions were not true."
So literally, the healing of your mind, without exception forces the healing of your body, which in turn HEALS YOUR BROTHER. Your healing becomes HIS healing. "When I am healed I am not healed alone." And UNLESS this occurs, forgiveness IS NOT complete. Again...
"*****Forgiveness is not real UNLESS it brings a healing to your brother AND yourself*****. YOU must attest his sins had no effect on YOU, to demonstrate they were not real. How else COULD he be guiltless? And how COULD his innocence be justified UNLESS his sins have no effect to WARRANT guilt?"
If your brother is sinless, psychologically, he CANNOT have done anything to you PHYSICALLY, and therefore the physical is now REPURPOSED as a way to PROVE to him, psychologically, that he HAS NOT sinned. His sins had NO EFFECT on you OR your body. Your miracles REMOVED the evidence. And he can no longer SEE proof that he sinned. Which PHYSICALLY EXONERATES HIM. And this testifies that HE CANNOT have sinned, and now his MIND is healed because your physical body has played a part in weakening HIS belief in his own sinfulness. Something it could NOT do if it remains sick. In fact if it remains sick, your mind IS still accusing him of sin, and he knows it.
Some ACIM students think that there is no validity or importance whatsoever to changing the physical body, healing it, or for any reason. But Jesus is saying something totally opposite. He is literally saying you MUST heal it, otherwise it DOES continue to PROVE that your mind IS NOT healed. And any time physical sickness of any kind is showing up, something in YOUR mind is not healed. Physical sicknesses of different kinds in fact symbolize different mental attitudes.
"Sickness takes many forms, and so does unforgiveness. The forms of one but reproduce the forms of the other, for they are the same illusion." Different unforgivenesses (grievances, special relationships etc) produce different PHYSICAL FORMS of sickness.
"So closely is one translated into the other, that a careful study of the form a sickness takes will point quite clearly to the form of unforgiveness that it represents."
So here he is even saying you can DIAGNOSE what UNFORGIVENESS is present in the mind, based on the physical FORM of the sickness in the body. Because the body is always symbolic and the forms of sickness are symbolic. This is why you get backaches when you are carrying to much mental load, and your eyes develop problems when you don't want to see something, and someone "gives you a headache" when you don't like them, and your blood pressure "boils" when you get angry.
Physical sickness IS HOW you project your sin! If your mind cannot CONCEIVE of attack, it overpowers the body and forces it to show up AS HEALED. A mind that is TRULY devoid of attack produces a LOVELY BODY, devoid of any signs or symbols of attack of any kind. Not only does the body heal by miracles, it now becomes a SYMBOL OF ETERNAL LIFE. And symbolizing immortality, it is DEVOID OF HARM and CANNOT be sick, NOR can it die! It is now impossible for the body to die and decay, it can ONLY be left by TRUTH, by DISAPPEARING IT! "Being sane, it heals the body because IT has been healed. The sane mind cannot conceive of illness, because it cannot conceive of attacking anything or anyone."
"The body can become a sign of life, a promise of redemption, and a breath of immortality to those grown sick of breathing in the fetid scent of death. Let it have healing as its PURPOSE. Then will it send forth the message it received, and by its health and loveliness proclaim the truth and value that it represents. Let it receive the power to represent an endless life, forever unattacked. And to your brother let its message be, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I live."
"Now in the hands made gentle by His touch, the Holy Spirit lays a picture of a DIFFERENT you. It is a picture of a body still, for what you REALLY are can not be seen nor pictured. But THIS one has NOT been used for purpose of attack, and therefore never suffered pain at all. IT witnesses to the eternal truth that you can not BE hurt, and points BEYOND itself to both YOUR innocence and HIS."
God has given you free will. Anything you choose is yours to choose. No-one else has any say in what your choices are. No-one has any right to decide for you what your choices are, to make commentary about your choices, to judge your choices, or to accuse you of making the wrong choice. It is none of their business.
Each person is solely responsible for their own personal freedom, which means that anything that a person experiences is entirely chosen, and not induced by anyone or anything else. God is the only cause of anyone. "I am forever an effect of God." One brother does not cause or create another brother. All brothers are equals as siblings precisely because they are not the cause of each other. No one else has EVER been the cause of anything you have experienced. If you believe otherwise you are confused.
You do not have the power to cause anyone else. No one else has the power to cause you. Being entirely responsible for your own freedom can only arise when you grant everyone else total responsibility for their own freedom. If you attempt to control, manipulate, judge, coerce, persuade, condemn, or otherwise alter other people's freedoms, you are denying your own and imprisoning yourself. It will not help you.
When you are entirely responsible for your own perfect freedom, which is a gift from God, you will recognize that absolutely nothing happens against your will. Not suffering, not sickness, not even death. "The power of decision is my own." Your sole responsibility is acceptance of atonement for yourself, so that you can offer it to others. But it is not for you to shove it down their throats, nor can you force anyone to be at peace, or to be loving, or to choose what you think they should.
When a person begins to lose sight of their own freedom, they lose touch with responsibility for the power of choice. And they begin to believe that causation and power are outside of them. They disempower themselves by blaming others. And then they automatically begin to try to make sense of why things are happening seemingly outside of their choosing, and it starts to make sense that someone else is choosing for you. And now you have assigned responsibility for your freedom to someone else.
When you think that someone else is responsible for your freedom, you are being irresponsible, and you will now depend on them making decisions that you approve of. You will encourage them to choose for you, provided it's the right choice that you indirectly want. If they do not choose what you want, for you, you will attack them for failing to give you what you want.
This then becomes the ego's mandate of "forgiveness to destroy", in which responsibility for freedom and for change is assigned to someone other than yourself, instead of you taking the responsibility to make your own decisions. You also cannot claim total responsibility for your own decision-making, while simultaneously believing that other persons are responsible for your decisions. Which means you have to allow other people to be entirely responsible for whatever decisions they make.
When you enter into coercion, control, blame, judgement, accusation, condemnation, taking sides, demanding that people comply with your beliefs, trying to force people to act a certain way, requiring people to make certain choices that you think are the right choices (for any reason), or have expectations or "needs" relating to what they do to or for you, you are entering into insanity, a special relationship, and false perception.
"God does not coerce".
"Your will is lost to you in this strange bartering, in which guilt is traded back and forth, and grievances increase with each exchange."
"Your will is free, and nothing can prevail against it."
You can easily spot when someone is moving into ego. Instead of being responsible ONLY for their own free will choice, they begin to displace responsibility onto other people. Causation is placed outside of them. They then begin trying to manipulate or "guilt-trip" others into acting certain ways, to comply indirectly with their wishes. The seeming "boundary" of freedom between them and others is disrupted, they trespass on the sacred territory of another, and the invasion of war begins.
When people are arguing about whether they should or should not do something, or what is the right thing to do, or who did what to whom, or who is responsible for causing other people to be sick, or who is putting who in danger, or any other dynamic where one person is accused of being responsible for another, the ego is involved. The two people are becoming tangled in a special relationship, anchored at the body level of insane illusions and fictional causes.
Interestingly, when someone is doing this, which always involves projection and anger, which is an attempt to make someone guilty, the person is claiming to be acting in the interests of freedom and the good of all, but are simultaneously rejecting their own freedom by trying to control the freedom of others. Or rather, they place their own freedom into the hands of other people and then try to accuse them of mis-handling it, meaning you don't really believe that other people are free to use YOUR freedom as they see fit.
To make a long story short, what other people choose to do is absolutely none of your business. This is why Jesus asks you to "be passerby". You are only free when you recognize that your brother is free. You cannot recognize his freedom if you are trying to control him, trying to get him to side with you, are waging a war and trying to win allies, or when you're accusing him of inappropriate choices (sin).
If you reject the freedom of others you are in fact shutting down your own freedom, but you do this in the name of trying to uphold your freedom, which is insane. You clearly cannot increase your freedom, or secure your rights, by taking freedom and rights away from other people. If other people are making poor decisions, then the consequences of those decisions are their responsibility only. You cannot be affected by them, unless you yourself personally make a poor choice as well. You cannot be cursed unless you curse yourself first, and other people's poor decisions DO NOT affect you against your will.
"Casting spells" merely means "affirming error", and error is lack of love. When man projects this onto others, he DOES imprison them, but only to the extent that he reinforces errors they have already made. This distortion makes them vulnerable to the curse of others, since they have already cursed themselves. The miracle worker can only bless, and this undoes the curse and frees the soul from prison."
When you move into an area of believing that other people greatly affect you, can destroy your life, can interfere with your health, can threaten your family, or can in any way do anything to you by their free choosing, you yourself have a mental health problem. You are denying your own freedom to such an extent that you think other people are the owners of your freedom. You have given them the power to do this to and for you, meaning also that you do not love yourself. And yet you accuse them of acting against your love.
You in fact want other people to be responsible for you, and in fact you want them to do things to you against your will, so that you can maintain that you are not free. You therefore use your enemies as devices to keep yourself imprisoned, and the more you hate them the more you succeed in imprisoning yourself. The only way to be free yourself is to grant freedom to everyone. Blaming people for imprisoning you or violating your rights is a great way to violate your own rights.
You might think that if you were to do this there would be anarchy, you would be vulnerable, idiots would run the country, fools would steal your possessions, stupid nutjobs would try to hurt your family, and the broken would try to infect you with their diseases. But these are actually part of your own attempt to reject health, reject life, reject protection, reject invulnerability, and reject safety. None of this can happen without your psychological consent.
You can't have it both ways. You can't be in the business of disempowering yourself and disowning your supernatural power of immortality, while at the same time claiming that other people are responsible for your wellbeing and are able to hurt you. You do in fact have a mind-over-matter power innate to all children of God, capable of rendering you immune and invulnerable to all the things of the world. You have an automatic God-given miraculous ability to heal anything and overcome anything. And nothing can prevail against you.
"Today it is the ego which stands powerless before your will. Your will is free, and nothing can prevail against it."
"Nothing can prevail against our united wills, because nothing can prevail against God's."
"NOTHING can prevail against a Son of God who commends his Spirit into the hands of His Father."
When you are in the business of making other people's business your business, you are not in business. You are out of business, which is why you are trying to get the business of others by being involved in their business. You busy yourself with their business because you have no business doing so. And by doing so, you have no business at all.
The people who are having an utter shit fit about whether or not to vaccinate need to pay attention to sanity and reason. You are immortal and you cannot die. No-one and nothing can happen against your will. So who are you accusing of being responsible for things happening to you? It is in fact you who is disempowering yourself and setting yourself up as a victim, and you want to have victimizers in your life who you believe oppose you, to pretend that you don't want their opposition, so that you can keep being a victim about it.
All forms of sickness are illusions produced by an insane mind, acted out upon a body. This is something that you do to yourself. "The mind makes this decision as it makes all decisions responsible for the condition of the body." Your mind has the power to decide whether or not to live or die, to be sick or well, to be happy or unhappy. No one has the right or the responsibility to take this power or freedom away from you. And no-one can. Only you can give it away, disown it, or try to lose it, by your own free will. That's your choice.
If you fear that you can be infected by another's contagion, or by some random environmental evil, then your mind is already sick and needs help. If you are not willing to receive the help, then you are in a bind. It means you do not want to be healthy and you want to die. And yet in this condition you will claim that you want to be healthy and not be sick. But you cannot be even believe that you can be sick while simultaneously bringing about the ONLY decision capable of making you suffer. Nor can you be blaming the cause of your suffering on a speck of particles, or a car crash, or any kind of external causation.
"No-one can die, unless he chooses death. What seems to be the FEAR of death, is really its ATTRACTION."
The real deeper issue behind all this covid panick, is the fear of death and "how to be safe". However...
"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives. Seek not ESCAPE from problems here. The world was made that problems could not BE escaped."
"There IS no safety in a battleground. You can look down on it in safety from above, and NOT be touched. But, from within it, you can find NO safety."
"The world provides no safety. It is rooted in attack, and all its "gifts" of seeming safety are illusory deceptions. It attacks and then attacks again. No peace of mind is possible where danger threatens thus."
When we are body identified, we place ourselves on the battlefield and accuse ourselves of weakness. Then we set ourselves up for being subject to a warzone and threaten ourselves with causes on the same level. We then try to escape this threat with magical means and silly maneuvers which are supposed to somehow make you invulnerable and safe, as if this solves the problem. The problem is not whether or not you are susceptible to a disease, the problem is that you are choosing to believe in disease in the first place, therefore threatening yourself with inducing it.
It then does not matter whatsoever whether you choose to get a vaccine or not. Getting one is insane. Not getting one is insane. Both are insane because they are based on a false premise. If the premise is "sickness is real and I am vulnerable to death against my will", then you are already insane. And making the decision to be vaccined OR not vaccinnated are both equally insane outcomes based on a lie.
"The world was made that problems could not be escaped." You cannot go either way and claim to be making a sane decision.
You cannot escape from or have external salvation from sickness, while looking for external solutions to an externalized problem. If the world does not exist, who is doing this to you? Who is deciding that you are weak and vulnerable and attackable and destroyable? This is nothing other than your resposnibility and your belief. "I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts." ...
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."
If you are not able to accept total responsibility, which is atonement, then you are in a predicament. You say you want salvation but you don't. You say you want life but you keep choosing death. You say you want health but you believe in sickness and then panick in fear trying to scramble to find ways to defend agaisnt it, knowing it cannot work. What are you going to do? If you are not willing to entertain a miracle, then you are left with no other option. If you are not willing to forgive and rise above the battlefield, you have no other option.
The only remedy you are then left with is a solution which can at best seem to partially work, and at worst destroy you. This is true of any vaccine as much as it is true of ANY magical solution. No magical solution will ever induce wholeness, nor will it make you invulnerable, nor cause you to be what you are. Magic will not correct your mind, it will likely have no effect on your insane beliefs, and it will not ultimately save you from death. It is your thoughts alone that decide whether or not you are choosing to die, and this overrides all magic, and the world.
So you are then in a predicament because you cannot possibly choose a remedy that truly works, all the remedies are broken, the only action you can take is incomplete, and nothing external can truly cause you to be peaceful. "salvation comes from nothing outside of you."
"THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE YOU. That is what you must ultimately learn, for it is in that realization that the Kingdom of Heaven is restored to you."
A vaccine is, at best, an illusion of a solution. It might seem to work for some people and not for others. It may seem to work to a degree, but not totally. It absolutely MUST attack the body in some way as all magic does. It will not stop any virus from entering your body and beginning to take hold.
It will not prevent your body from being vulnerable. It will not ward off death nor will it cause you to feel safe. It might, potentially, seem to manipulate the body so that it might, perhaps, if your mind consents, avoid contagion or transmission of a disease some of the time. But it will not bring peace to your soul. God doesn't live in a syringe. Nor does God need booster shots.
If all you can choose is a senseless insane choice, a partial choice, a choice which you know cannot truly work, which can at best produce an illusion of health, and which may in fact hurt you, what are you to do? This is where you need to ideally be willing to turn to someone who knows better than you. Ask the Holy Spirit. Ask Jesus. Ask your angels. Get some guidance from a higher perspective. If you are not willing or ready to go there yourself, get their input. Let them decide for you.
And this again is where we must acknowledge the freedom of your will. No divine being is ever going to mandate a vaccination, nor are they necessarily going to always advise against it in a given situation. What is right for YOU, is dependent upon every speck of your mental state and what is appropriate, not only for you, but in the atonement plan and in the script for your life.
There may be a reason for you to elect temporary sickness. There may be a reason for you to meet certain people. There may be a good reason for YOU in particular NOT to choose a vaccine. There may be a cascade of outcomes that are only possible if you do, or do not, get medicated. There may be a good reason why you SHOULD, just as there may be a good reason you shouldn't. And it has absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone else, solely because the curriculum is individualized.
The Holy Spirit knows what is best for you given YOUR situation, where you are at and what you are ready for. He knows where your trust is. He knows what you are capable of and will accept. Turn to his advice rather than that of fear or the ego. And especially beware of the egos of other well-meaning people especially the ones who are religious about the "reasons why" you should or should not make a certain choice. EVERY reason on this level is fiction.
If you cannot or will not turn to the advice of a wiser counsel, and if you refuse health, and if you actively are choosing sickness, and if you are living therefore in fear of contagion, then your options are limited. Love does not enter where it is not welcome. You can be prayed for. You can be loved. But you may reject all support. You may have a death wish. You may want to die. It might be "your time", based on your plan. Who knows. I do not know and no-one else likely knows either. Matters are far deeper than some "statics" about viruses or medicines.
Long story short, if you made it this far. .... you are always absolutely free to make any choice you want to make, and it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. If anyone is trying to control your decision for ANY reason at all, they are denying their own freedom and are trying to make you responsible for them. They are like children looking for a parent to depend on, to decide everything for them.
This is because they have become undependeable and irresponsible. It's up to YOU to decide how to discern where they are at, and to be responsible yourself for your own choice. And whatever you choose, God loves you.
At the end of the day all you can do is make your own choice in freedom, and free from guilt, and do so decisively and with conviction. But not a conviction that turns into tyranny, or the attempt to recruit others to your cause. Let people be where they are at. Let them make their own decisions. Let them be mistaken and recognize that they are.
Not because they don't do what you want them to do, but because they are free of you. You have no business trying to coerce people to agree with YOUR fearful belief in laws that are not of God.
What I decide to do is none of your business, or anyone's. What guidance I receive regarding my own choices, is none of your business either. What I decide to do or not do has nothing to do with you either. And if you think that my choice affects you, you are deliberately disempowering yourself, because nothing happens to you against your will. This is not supposed to be a selfish free-for-all, or a war, where people are opposing each other and digging in their heels thinking they know what's true. Nothing in this world is true, it's just a dream.
Go within, and go above. That's the only place where there is any sanity.