There are various feelings you can seem to experience, but they are not real feelings. When you're in the ego, lost and confused, you'll discover a wide variety of different feelings.

Ego emotions include sadness, grief, loss, frustration, anger, excitement, guilt, fear, dread, anxiety, worry, hurt, shame, embarrassment, unworthiness, and all kinds of other sensations. These all include some element of suffering and unhappiness.

It is easy to think that all these feelings are normal human emotions. Everyone has them. They seem commonplace and everyone has felt them. But can they be real feelings? Can they be states which God Himself ordains?

If God's will for you is perfect happiness, then anything even slightly short of perfect happiness must involve the ego. As soon as we're entering into guilt, fear, any kind of emotional turmoil, we're in an insane state of mind.

It's true enough the mind can invent all kinds of states and sensations, which we experience and register as "how I feel". But at some point these feelings have to be brought into question, because they are not really ever valid, real, or of God.

So if I'm feeling angry, I'm going to at some point have to look at this and recognize, this anger is not something God ever feels, and it cannot be real. God is never angry and His creations cannot be angry. So if I am angry, I am having a false, illusory feeling. I feel it, seemingly, I experience it. But it's false. It's a made-up artificial feeling.

All the ego emotions are made up. They are not of God, nor are they God's will. If I feel guilty, I've invented a lie about myself. If I feel sad or grieving, I'm very deceived and believing separation has really happened. If I am afraid I'm believing in sin and punishment. If I'm feeling hurt, I've accused my brother of attacking me.

Mixed into all the ego feelings there's always an element of me hurting myself, me trying to hurt others, and some kind of accusation or judgement. These aren't true feelings. An enlightened person should not ever be experiencing these feelings because such feelings cannot exist without ego.

It's not enough to say, well, there is anger arising but I am separate from it. That's bullshit. Someone is causing it and choosing it. God's children are never unhappy or angry or upset or afraid or guilty or suffering in any way. God's children are entitled to perfect peace, permanent happiness, and constant joy. His angels never stop smiling.

Trying to justify that these emotions are "valid" is an ego attempt to make it okay to suffer and to feel states which are illusory. When I am "not at peace", I MUST have made a wrong decision. I made the decision myself. I chose to not be at peace, meaning I wanted to feel something unlike God feels.

If I am feeling anything other than how God intended that I feel, I have invented a false feeling. It seems perfectly possible to experience these feelings, even very intensely and deeply. But they MUST be states of mental illness, they must be forms of attack and denial, and they must involve my ego.

Any time that we are sad, it is because we think there is something to feel sad about. There is nothing to feel sad about. God's Kingdom is perfect and there is no basis for any kind of unhappiness. If we are unhappy we are mistaken. If we are feeling anything other than joy we are blocking awareness of love.

So there are fake feelings and there are real feelings. Just as my only real thoughts are the thoughts I think with God, so too my only real feelings are the feelings I feel LIKE God and WITH God. Those include joy, happiness, bliss, peace, love, holiness, innocence, safety, and gratitude.

Anything less than true feelings must reflect states of darkness and deception. Something has gone wrong if we are not happy all the time. Something is not working correctly if the mind is experiencing a nightmare.

We MUST therefore bring into question ALL false ego emotions, regardless of their seeming reality, intensity or justification. They are not true, they are not real, and they do not exist. It is not simply enough to question thoughts and beliefs, we must also FEEL the love of God at all times.

I've recently been noticing that my work with the course has shifted to the undoing of guilt. And that this was not the case in previous years. Overall it seemed I was working on undoing fear much more often.

Just theorizing here, but maybe when we're starting out with forgiveness our mind is just too "low" in its degree of truth and light. Sin and guilt still seem too buried and unconscious, hidden behind blocks. Our conscious mind may more likely find itself so blocked that it deals with fear and punishment on a daily basis more than anything else.

Over time, we work on forgiving, and it gradually chisels away at this overall "large block" of mind-junk. From the bottom up, we are gradually removing layers of stuff and raising our overall level of awareness and mastery. While there may be some issues or lessons where we undo fear, or guilt, or sin, or are working on sickness perhaps, overall we're still deeply immersed in "the lower levels" of mind.

I've done such a lot of work on fear that I think I have a much better grip on it now. And while fearful challenges still arise, I am much less deceivable. So I feel that my focus is "rising-up" or "going deeper" into the prior level that comes before fear - which is guilt. If you recall basically we get into sin first, which demands guilt, leads to fear of punishment etc.

So my focus now, or what I'm most often presented with, is the undoing of guilt. In fact I recently seemed to be only just starting to become aware that I even feel guilty at all. I did not recognize it. I did not know that I was guilty and the guilt I was feeling didn't seem to fit into a common definition of what guilt is. I am learning about it first-hand as I dig into it. Because for example guilt can often express as anger or a strong desire to project, and can feel like being offended even.

What I have noticed is that in working on this guilt, which is dredging up a lot of old crap as well, fear goes bye bye very quickly. You can't be afraid of punishment if you are not guilty. Without guilt there is no fear. So I now experience that as I work to undo guilt about stuff, it seems to have a "more powerful" effect in lifting me upwards towards light and truth. It feels more rapid in its consequences, and the fear literally just vanishes without a trace without having to do anything to work on it.

I noticed this when one day, I suddenly recognized I felt very guilty that I thought I caused someone to be sick, although this was not true. I still felt it. And I acknowledged it and spoke about it and let it out. And since bringing that to light, the next day I immediately noticed I felt much less afraid. A whole swath of fear melted.

And then I also was working through some feelings about when my wife was in the hospital etc and how that felt, and suddenly was recognizing that it felt so hellish because I was actually feeling guilty, which was causing fear. Undoing that guilt has really shifted things quickly. It in fact removed what seemed like a looming resistance and sense of dread about what would happen next, that was hanging around all the time.

I know also from experience that if you go straight to the core, the belief in sin, which is really the ultimate turning point of a total change of mind, it has the power to undo not only fear but guilt as well, very rapidly. But you have to be able to unearth and look at the feeling and belief in sinfulness. Sinfuless feels pretty awful. I got in touch with it one time and it felt like a desire to be dead, so bleak and desperate and so strongly believing that I was criminal or evil or had done something so terrible there was no other way out.

But at the moment I think that level of ego crap is still mostly buried beneath the "guilt layer". As I move through the guilt and clear it out, I rise up in mind closer to complete forgiveness and atonement. And as I rise up I go deeper within and uncover the secret sins and hidden hates.

Overall there seems to be the stuff we go through to try to forgive specific issues, which vary a lot, but in the big picture there seems to also be this very gradual movement towards God, truth, light, forgiveness, which takes you through these clouds of ego crap. First through layers of fear, then through layers of guilt, then through layers of sin, and then into the light. We seem to be undoing this from the bottom up, gradually ascending as we do.

If you're afraid, it's because you yourself believe that you deserve punishment.

It doesn't even matter if anyone else is going to come along and do something to you, or if events are going to transpire against you, or if something bad is about to happen.

Regardless of what's going on outside of you, or what form the punishment appears to take, you're afraid because you internally believe that you're guilty, that YOU believe you should be punished.

Guilt automatically implies that you should receive what you are due, and that you deserve it. Believing you are sinful and guilty, you will be convinced that you are deserving of punishment, because having agreed and accepted that you are guilty, you are no longer going to disagree that punishment is justified.

You will in fact, believing in guilt, encourage the punishment of yourself, and will seek it out and try to get others to hurt you. Since you believe that it is true you are guilty, you will attempt to reinforce that belief and prove it over and over again, demonstrating that you are worthy of condemnation and deserve to receive revenge.

If you did something, and you're guilty for it, and you believe that this is true, you also believe that whoever you sinned against is justified in getting revenge, in order to "atone" for what you did. You think that you owe them, because you think you took something away from them.

And since you owe them, they have permission to come and take from you. This you believe you are worthy of, allow, and accept, and encourage, even if that person is not interested in doing this for you. You will find someone to do it nonetheless.

And so, as you experience the fear and dread that this punishment is going to happen, or is starting to show signs of happening, it's not so much that it's happening that you're afraid. You're not really afraid so much of the punishment itself, or who is going to dliver it.

You're mainly afraid because even you yourself are convinced that you are worthy of it and that you should receive it. Even if that scares you, your own conviction that you MUST be punished because of your guilt, is like a force within you which overrides all other beliefs to the contrary.

You therefore feel that you KNOW that you MUST be punished and that it WILL therefore happen, and if people don't collude to make it happen for you, YOU will be the one making sure it happens. And so really you are the one who is going to make sure you be punished, because you are the one who believes you deserve it.

And of THIS you are afraid, because even if everyone else fails to punish you, YOU are your worst enemy and are hell-bent on getting revenge on yourself. You will fear your own attack, and the inescapability of the threat you have put on your own head.

Even if it scares you and you're kicking and screaming not to be punished and don't want it, YOU DO. If you believe in your guilt, you ARE going to attempt to punish yourself. And your self-hurting, suicidal ways, will frighten you more than any illusion that someone else is going to do this for you.

So it's not going to really alleviate your fear to just say that you shouldn't be afraid. It's not going to alleviate your fear to have the supposed enemies go away or stop attacking or leave you alone. It's not going to go away just because situations change. It isn't going to go away until YOU decide that you are not going to demand your own punishment.

Until you believe that you are NOT worthy of punishment, you will seek it out, even if it scares the shit out of you. So you must convince yourself that it's not TRUE that you are guilty. And the way to do that is to realize that it is also not true that you really sinned. Whatever you appeared to do wasn't in reality and it wasn't real. Any consequences are not real either. And this is all just part of a dream in which you were mistaken. All mistakes are illusions and are already forgiven.

Thus it is an inside job. You need to let yourself off the hook. You don't need other people to punish you, because you're doing a good enough job of that all by yourself. Forgive yourself. You didn't really sin at all. You are still innocent and holy and God loves you.

"To the ego, the goal is death, which IS its end. But to the Holy Spirit, the goal is life, which HAS no end."

If you imagine that heaven is level 1, above, and earth is level 2, below, then imagine there are some giant arrows pointing in a certain direction. ..... the ego points down towards death, and the holy spirit points up towards heaven and eternal life.

"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives."

All the world's roads lead to death sooner or later. The ego wants you dead. The world was made as an idea of destruction. Everything in it is designed to die. Its "natural" direction, so to speak, is exactly opposite to heaven and everything here points eventually toward death.

This is because the whole system is set up with a GOAL of death, so everything leads to it. It has a giant arrow pointing DOWN into the grave, while the Holy Spirit has a giant arrow pointing UP toward heaven via resurrection.

"The Holy Spirit uses logic as easily, and as well, as does the ego, except that HIS conclusions are NOT insane. They take a direction EXACTLY opposite, pointing as clearly to Heaven as the ego points to darkness and to death."

All the roads, ways, systems, paths, methods, outcomes, likelihoods, consequences, symptoms, effects, conclusions and results of the world all head toward death. The ego in its fear always induces a sense of dread that things are going to get WORSE and end up in death. This is its natural compulsion towards death and its totally unwavering focus on making everything be dead.

"This IS the "natural" condition of the separation. And those who learn that it is NOT natural at all, seem to be the UNnatural ones. For this world IS the opposite of Heaven, having been made to BE its opposite. And EVERYTHING here takes a direction EXACTLY opposite to what is true."

There is another world, which we're calling the Kingdom of God or Heaven, God's creation, which is totally opposite to this world. There, everything always is looking up and points toward life. It is a system of true "life support" and of eternal permanence. It is a system of health and wholeness and happiness and living. It is a living world of light. The Holy Spirit points us TOWARD that world just as much as the ego tries to emphasize that the ground is our final destination.

"While you made plans for death, He led you gently to Eternal Life."

While we're in this world of death, which is a dream of death, and "without the idea of death there is no world", we must learn to trust in ANOTHER world, to look UP toward God and move in the direction of resurrection. At first this will seem very unnatural and difficult because you're so conditioned to believe that all the arrows always MUST point downward into the dirt.

What you have to learn is that all of the arrows of the world can be REVERSED through miracles, through expressions of the Holy Spirit and his teaching. By listening to him and learning of him and becoming a healer with him, you now are acting AGAINST the world and running contrary to the grain. That means the world is going to regard you as unnatural, alien, a reject, crazy, out of touch, ignorant, in denial, and lost - precisely because that's what the death-worshippers are themselves like. Death is the single biggest religion of this planet.

Our challenge then is to turn this situation around. To reverse the arrows, and bring about change in the opposite direction, which is an undoing/atonement and also a resurrecting. It restores life where there was death, it asserts life to blot out death, and it has power OVER death to implement life and resurrect. Miracles undo death, reverse sickness, cancel drastic consequences, erase pain, remove all proof of sin and attack, and re-establish the will and reign of God.

God supports only life and never death, and so must we. To be only in support of LIFE, we have to learn that we are undo no laws but God's, and the laws of the world must be broken. The impossible, in the world's terms, must be performed, in order to prove that it is death that is impossible. The Holy Spirit is here to empower us to do this because he has been sent from another world with the Power of God in him, to heal and to save and to resurrect and lead us home into the light.

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to SHOW him, by your healing, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."

If you believe you are guilty, it's because you believe you really did something which has caused a loss or damage to someone else. It means you believe you succeeded in attacking and taking something from them. The guilt tells you that because you did take something away from another (sinned), you owe them.

This means they are justified in doing something to you in return, in attempt to take back what you stole, and to retaliate against your crime. You now must fear revenge, and see it as an inevitable, constant threat. You believe in their likelihood of revenge because you believe in your success at sinning, hence your guilt.

So long as you believe that the person is suffering the consequences of your sin, which you want to believe because you want to have succeeded in separating, you will believe they are going to hunt you down and attack you. You believe they are completely justified in doing this and even agree with their motivations, even if it threatens you.

Therefore your guilt has automatically produced a state of fear, whereby simply because you are guilty, you yourself can see the sense in someone else wanting to attack you back. You believe in what you stole and see them as seeking revenge, to atone for the sin. Of this you must be afraid, and so guilt leads to automatic, mandatory fear of punishment.

The guilt will therefore automatically imply, project, and turn into fear. Now that you are in fear, you believe that you should be afraid, because you believe that punishment is going to come. And even though you yourself believe that you don't want the punishment to happen, you cannot help but be afraid it is going to happen because you already believe in the reason for it. It must happen, because you are guilty, and all your efforts will be to try to avoid and escape it, even though you believe it is inevitable. You attempt to escape BECAUSE you believe it is coming.

However, your own belief in your guilt will keep producing the fear, and the fear itself will keep visualizing the ways in which punishment is going to happen. At every turn it will haunt you and you will not feel safe, threatened by the revenge that you believe must be coming. In fact, so strong will be your belief that the punishment will come, that you will in fact begin to make it come. You will draw it to you, ask for it, and even take steps to make it happen. You will hate yourself for this but you yourself believe in the logical sense that you should be punished, and so you will agree to allow punishment to come to you, even if it makes you suffer.

Therefore because you have condemned yourself as sinful, it leads eventually to you implementing your own self punishment. Even if other people will not comply with your attempts to destroy yourself, you will do enough of a job on your own to ensure you receive what you believe you deserve. And so you will continue to prove your worthlessness by demonstrating that you deserve punishment, enacting it against yourself, and literally hurting your own self by your own hand.

And so fear inevitably leads to the enactment of punishment, because it strengthens the belief that you should be punished, and what you fear you attract. Fear pretends to not want what it focuses on, but it feeds tremendous energy into what it would avoid, through attempts at further separation, which only intensifies the sense of sin and guilt and produces more of the same. Eventually the shame and guilt produces so much fear of punishment that it starts to produce actual punishment. And so fear turns into punishment, sickness, and suffering, and perhaps even death.

Fear perpetuates and justifies a perception of yourself as being victimized, whereby whoever is to attack you is justified in doing so because of your sin. You owe them, and you know it. Therefore you dread the punishment that you yourself believe you should be receiving, and it's only a matter of time before it finds you. And if it is taking too long, one way or another you will cause it and welcome it, because you believe it is what should happen.

As punishment increases, so too is fear increasing, and gradually the atoning for sin nears completion. The more you are punished and suffering, the more you believe you are getting what you deserve, even if you exclaim that it is unfair and undeserved, and even if it is scaring you shitless. You yourself started this whole cycle through your own self condemnation, and your guilt and fear and punishment is just the fulfillment of your own belief in your worthiness of suffering. And so punishment comes and as it continues to ramp up in severity, so do you inflict upon yourself what you think you are worth.

The final blow of punishment is of course death, the idea that your sin is so great and so irreversible that you might as well give up on life completely and just let yourself be caught by those who you believe would bring the punishment to you. You surrender to death and lay down your life as though it is simply inevitable, because there is absolutely no way out of the logical sequence of conclusions you come to as soon as you start down the slippery slope of sin. Here you have followed sin to its logical conclusion, the call for atonement in death. The sinful must die, and the inescapable progression of logic from sin to death gives no way out, regardless of your protests.

This need not be.

The Son of God is not sinful. You are not guilty. And you have no reason to be afraid. Sin is not real, and no matter what you did, it is forgiven already by God. It wasn't reality and it didn't happen in reality. Only in a dream. Wake up to the happy news that all is forgiven and you are welcome home.

The progression of unfolding from sin through guilt fear punishment and death, need not occur, if the root foundation of that entire thought system is dug out. You must be willing to question whether the sin was real, whether you really did separate from God, or whether nothing has happened. This is the undoing of the dream of death, and is what the atonement represents. The idea of truth, that you cannot possibly separate from God, your attacks cannot have any effects, you cannot really sin, and no real consequences have come from trying.

You still remain as innocent as God created you to be. All the rest is just delusional nonsense and dreaming. You don't deserve to die. You deserve to live forever.

There is a physical time, in terms of spacetime, which is actually just a 'now moment' that keeps shifting its form. The present of time is the only time that seems to exist. Once stuff "as it was" is no longer, the past is gone. There is no actual past or future.

We are located in the present moment, but in the present we keep dreaming of the past and future. We drift away from the present to hide from the light, and to keep replaying the ego/past. All grievances and suffering is in the past.

If you are seeing the past you are psychologically focusing in on what is not here now. In time, the present moment is all that remains. The present moment of time symbolises the always-here-now foreverness of eternity. The present of time is also WHERE you will find access to heaven.

The present moment is where the reflection of God is because presence means immediacy and hereness and actuality. It's where reality is. It's where there is light and love. It's where you'll find peace and happiness and heaven. It's allocated in the now because that's the only "place" where stuff actually is.

When you are dwelling on the past you are in the present dreaming of the past, thinking of old hurts, remembering pain and suffering, attached to things that are gone, hiding in darkness. It is an avoidance of the presence, because the present is where light is.

When you are psychologically focused on the past you do not see anything as it is now in the present, but instead project the darkness of the past onto the present. When you are in the present you are closer to heaven and project heaven's reflection onto it instead, seeing the real world.

You can ONLY find the real world, happiness, love, light, God, peace, etc in the present. You cannot find it in the past or future. NOW is where God is. The past does not exist.

The ego tries to drag the past into the present to keep it going, blotting out the present by projecting the past onto it, and then trying to extend the past into the future producing an illusory 'continuum'. This erases the present from time.

The holy spirit's view is that the present is the only time, there is no past or future, and remaining centred in the presence he extends the present into eternity.

Everything to do with 'level 2' which we might call the separation or the lower order reality or spacetime or the ego thought system, is all to do with the psychological past. All darkness, suffering, sickness and death, victimhood, grief and guilt, fear and sin etc, is all movements into the past. 'Level 2' is the past and its projected future, Level almost-1 is the present in time, and level 1 is eternity.

Eventually time and the present-now-moment of time will disappear, leaving only eternity. The now of time symbolises eternity and is as close as you can get to God/heaven etc while still in spacetime. It's where you see the world "as it is", the real world, the forgiven world, the present "reality".

It's where the happy dream is, where you can see in the light, and where miracles are born. You cannot perform miracles in the past, only in the present. Holy instants are moments in the present without a past. Every part of ACIM's teaching leads toward becoming totally present in the here and now and letting go of everything past and future.

Forgiveness IS the present!

"I see only the past." W7

"My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts." W8

"The mind's preoccupation with the past is the cause of the total misconception about time from which your seeing suffers. Your mind cannot grasp the present, which is the only time there is." W8

"now is the only time" UrT5E8

"This instant is the only time there is." W308

"Your mind cannot grasp the present, which is the only time there is." W8

"The present is the only time there is." W164

"The present now remains the only time." W132

"There is no past nor future" UrM25A1

"You HAVE "sinned" IN THE PAST, but there IS no past. Always has no direction." UrT11J7

"A miracle is a beginning and an end(ing). It thus abolishes time. It is always an affirmation of re-birth, which seems to go back, but really goes forward. It undoes the past in the present, and thus releases the future." UrT1B13

"For healing CANNOT be accomplished in the past, and MUST be accomplished in the present to RELEASE the future. THIS interpretation ties the future to the present, and EXTENDS THE PRESENT, rather than the past." UrT12D10

"NO SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP IS EXPERIENCED IN THE PRESENT." UrT16H2

"His past has NO reality in the present, and you CANNOT see it." UrT12F1

"Let no dark cloud out of YOUR past obscure him from you, for truth lies ONLY in the present" UrT12F5

"Here in the present is the world set free." UrW132L3

"He is as safe in the present as he was before illusions were accepted into his mind, and as he will be when he has let them go." URM17A7

"There is no fear in the present, when each instant stands clear and separated from the past, without its shadow reaching out into the future." UrT15B7

"In the holy instant, you see, in each relationship, what it WILL be, when you perceive ONLY the present." UrT15F8

"Let no defenses but your present trust direct the future" UrW137L20 "The miracle reminds you of a Cause forever present, perfectly untouched by time and interference." UrT28B7

"Past, present, and future are not continuous" UrT12F4

"Yet in the present love is obvious, and its effects apparent. All the world shines in reflection of its holy light, and I perceive a world forgiven at last." W293

"The birth of Christ is now, without a past or future. He has come to give His present blessing to the world, restoring it to timelessness and love. And love is ever present, here and now." W308

"FUTURE loss is not your fear. But PRESENT joining IS your dread." UrT26I3

When he said "mind is the builder," he did not realize that it is only what it is building NOW that really creates the future. The past, in itself, does not have the ability to do this. Whenever we move from one instant to the next, the previous one no longer exists.

"In brief, the past is NOW your justification for entering into a continuing, unholy alliance with the ego AGAINST THE PRESENT. For the present IS forgiveness." UrT17D11

The present is before time WAS, and WILL BE when time is no more. In it is everything that is eternal, and they ARE one. THEIR continuity is timeless, and their communication is unbroken, for they are NOT SEPARATED by the past. Only the past CAN separate, and IT is nowhere.