To substitute is to ACCEPT INSTEAD. If you would but consider exactly what this entails, you would perceive at once how much at variance this is with the goal the Holy Spirit has given you and would accomplish FOR you. To substitute is to CHOOSE BETWEEN, renouncing one IN FAVOR of the other. For this SPECIAL purpose, one is judged more valuable, and the other is REPLACED by him. The relationship in which the substitution occurred is thus fragmented, and ITS PURPOSE SPLIT accordingly. To fragment IS TO EXCLUDE, and substitution is the strongest defense the ego has for separation.
The Holy Spirit NEVER substitutes. Where the ego perceives one person as a REPLACEMENT FOR another, the Holy Spirit sees them joined and indivisible. He does not judge BETWEEN them, KNOWING they are one. Being united, they are one BECAUSE THEY ARE THE SAME. Substitution is clearly a process in which they are PERCEIVED AS DIFFERENT. One would UNITE; the other SEPARATE. NOTHING can come BETWEEN what God has joined, and what the Holy Spirit sees as one. But everything SEEMS to come between the fragmented relationships the ego sponsors, to destroy.
The one emotion in which substitution is impossible, is love. But fear involves substitution by definition, for it is love's REPLACEMENT. Fear is both a fragmented AND FRAGMENTING emotion. It SEEMS, to take many forms, and each seems to require a DIFFERENT form of acting out, for satisfaction. While this appears to introduce quite variable BEHAVIOR, a far more serious effect lies in the fragmented PERCEPTION from which the behavior stems. NO-ONE IS SEEN COMPLETE. The body is emphasized, with special emphasis on certain parts, and USED AS THE STANDARD FOR COMPARISON for either acceptance or rejection of suitability for acting out a special FORM of fear.
This idea is, of course, the reason why you see only the past. No one really sees anything. He sees only his thoughts projected outward. The mind's preoccupation with the past is the cause of the total misconception about time from which your seeing suffers. Your mind cannot grasp the present, which is the only time there is. It therefore cannot understand time, and cannot, in fact, understand anything.
The only wholly true thought one can hold about the past is that it is not here. To think about it at all is therefore to think about illusions. Very few minds have realized what is actually entailed in picturing the past or in anticipating the future. The mind is actually blank when it does this, because it is not really thinking about anything.
The purpose of the exercises for today is to begin to train your mind to recognize when it is not really thinking at all. While thoughtless "ideas" preoccupy your mind, the truth is blocked. Recognizing that your mind has been merely blank, rather than believing that it is filled with real ideas, is the first step to opening the way to vision.
The exercises for today should be done with eyes closed. This is because you actually cannot see anything, and it is easier to recognize that no matter how vividly you may picture a thought, you are not seeing anything. With as little investment as possible, search your mind for the usual minute or so, merely noting the thoughts you find there. Name each one by the central figure or theme it contains, and pass on to the next. Introduce the practice period by saying:
"I seem to be thinking about ____."
Then name each of your thoughts specifically, for example:
"I seem to be thinking about (name of person), about (name of object), about (name of emotion), and so on,"
concluding at the end of the mind-searching period with:
"But my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts."
This can be done four or five times during the day, unless you find it irritates you. If you find it trying, three or four times is sufficient. You might find it helpful, however, to include your irritation, or any emotion which the idea may induce, in the mind-searching itself.
If I am upset, I must be mistaken, and I must have chosen wrongly.
"I must have made a wrong decision because I'm not at peace."
If I am feeling anything other than love, joy, happiness, peace, then I've made a wrong decision. And it was me who decided it, meaning that I decided not to be happy by believing something untrue - something that is incorrect."I made the decision myself but I can choose otherwise."
If for example I'm feeling loss, I might believe that this loss is legitimate, due to the perceived loss of a valuable person, the loss of a body, the loss of a favorite object or whatever.
But I am a son of God, and there is no loss in sons of God. Therefore what is this loss but a lie? It must be being felt due to a mistaken belief. Somewhere in my mind, if I am feeling loss, I am mistaken, because nothing real can ever be lost.
So my feeling of loss, or unhappiness, or sadness, or grief, or anger, or guilt, or fear, or any other kind of ego emotion that does not exist in God, isn't just "a feeling" sitting there on its own wanting to be felt. It's the RESULT of some decision I made, at some time, to believe something mistakenly, which has resulted in this less-than happy feeling.
So behind the feeling of loss or sadness or anger, there is always something else going on.
"Anger is never justified"
"I am never upset for the reason I think."
If I would be willing to look and find out what it is I believe or have chosen, that is producing a negative feeling, and question the basis of it, it would stop PRODUCING the effect of the negative feeling.
This is somewhat radical because it starts to reveal that any unhappy or unholy feelings you have, you don't necessarily HAVE to have. You don't necessarily have to cry about the loss or whatever, IF you can find out what is CAUSING it and correct the real issue. The issue is always some kind of mistakenness, some wrong belief, some faulty conclusion or valuing, which is resulting in the "effect" of ego emotions being generated. You don't' have to suffer through it.
"It's not God's will that you suffer."
By all means do not deny feelings if all you really can manage is to be swept up in them and feel them. Sometimes you have to have a huge catharsis which is ok. But I also often find myself upset and Jesus is prodding me that I don't really need to be feeling this at all, nor do I have to go through the motions of the release of it through normal human-body means.
If behind every emotion there is a thought or belief or decision, then its my mind that needs to change in order to stop manufacturing this emotional sickness. All negative emotions are what it feels like to believe things which are not true.
It's quite plausible, that you will reach a state where you no longer need to feel any ego emotions ever again. In fact very often now when I go to feel and show a willingness to "just feel it", regardless of its validity, the Holy Spirit steps in and starts to perform a healing on me. He removes it for me when I let him.
"He will undo the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let him."
"I choose to let him by allowing him to choose for God for me."
And so gone are the days of having to just be on an emotional rollercoaster, being thrown around by unhappiness and crying all the time. If you will allow yourself to go deeper and receive healing, to uproot the cause of the feeling, then you can collapse the feeling entirely. It then become no longer necessary to be unhappy or to cry or release or cathart. And ultimately, you will no longer have to cry ever again.
Only the happy feelings that you share with God are real, just as the real thoughts of life and love that you share with him result in and cause those happy feelings. And only the thoughts I think with God are true.
Recently I saw a video where a couple were talking of a simple 'technique'.
When you are upset and feeling emotions, usually you feel them in your belly area.
Simply, move your focus of attention from in your head (typically) down into the area of the body where the feeling is mostly centered, typically the belly.
Then simply invite Jesus to come in and join with you there and heal it. I say, "Jesus, please come into me/this and heal this for me".
A couple of times I've tried this and immediately there will be something happening. I feel something come down into my torso and immediately the 'feeling' that was there starts to disappear, and I lighten up really quickly, and start laughing. The unpleasant emotion that seemed intensely upsetting is simply gone, transmuted into love.
Then I just have to thank Jesus :-)
I know I've posted this before, just wanted to share a bit of experience with it. I don't know to what extent you need to have developed a relationship or openness to Jesus helping you but it works for me. Beats having to suffer through it or cry it out.
I go back to something Jesus said to me several times...
"There is no need to suffer."
Let reason take another step. If you attack whom God would heal, and hate the one He loves, then you and your Creator have a DIFFERENT will. Yet, if you ARE His Will, what you MUST then believe is that you are NOT yourself. You can, indeed, believe this, and you DO. And you HAVE faith in this, and see much evidence on its behalf. And where, you wonder, does your strange uneasiness, your sense of being disconnected, and your haunting fear of lack of meaning in yourself arise? It is as though you wandered in, without a plan of any kind except to wander off, for only that seems certain.
Yet we have heard a very similar description earlier. But it was NOT of you. And yet, this strange idea which it DOES accurately describe, you think IS you. Reason would tell you that the world you see through eyes that are not yours, MUST make no sense to you. To whom would vision such as this send BACK its messages? Surely not you, whose sight is wholly INDEPENDENT of the eyes which look upon the world. If this is NOT your vision, what can it show to YOU? The brain can NOT interpret what YOUR vision sees. This YOU would understand. The brain interprets to the body, of which it is a part. But what IT says, YOU cannot understand.
Yet you have LISTENED to it. And long and hard you TRIED to understand its messages. You did not realize it is IMPOSSIBLE to understand what fails ENTIRELY to REACH you. You have received NO messages at all you understood. For you have listened to what can never communicate at all. Think, then, what happened. Denying what you are, and firm in faith that you are something ELSE, this something else, which you have MADE to be yourself, BECAME your sight. Yet it MUST be the SOMETHING ELSE which sees, and, as NOT YOU, explains its sight TO you.
YOUR vision would, of course, render this quite unnecessary. But, if your eyes are closed, and you have called upon this thing to lead you, asking it to EXPLAIN to you the world IT sees, you have no reason NOT to listen, nor to suspect that what it tells you is NOT true. Reason would tell you that it CAN'T be true, BECAUSE you do not understand it. GOD HAS NO SECRETS. He does NOT lead you through a world of misery, waiting to tell you, at the journey's end, why He DID this to you. What could be secret from His Will? Yet you believe that YOU have secrets. What could your secrets BE except ANOTHER will, that is your own, APART from His?
Reason would tell you that this is no SECRET, that need be hidden as a sin. But a MISTAKE indeed! Let not your fear of sin protect it from correction, for the attraction of guilt is ONLY fear. Here is the ONE emotion that YOU made, WHATEVER it may seem to be. And it IS the emotion of secrecy, of private thoughts, AND OF THE BODY. This is the ONE emotion that opposes love, and ALWAYS leads to sight of differences, and LOSS of sense of sameness. Here is the ONE emotion that keeps you blind, dependent on the self you think you made, to lead you through the world it made for you.
YOUR sight was GIVEN you, along with everything that you CAN understand. You will perceive NO difficulty in understanding what this vision tells you. For everyone sees ONLY what he thinks he IS. And what YOUR sight will show you, you will understand BECAUSE it is the truth. Only YOUR vision can convey to YOU what YOU can see. It reaches you directly, WITHOUT a need to be INTERPRETED to you. What NEEDS interpretation MUST be alien. Nor will it EVER be made understandable, by an interpreter you cannot understand. Of all the messages you have received and failed to understand, this course alone is OPEN to your understanding, and CAN be understood.
This IS your language. You do not understand it yet, only because your whole communication is like a baby's. The sounds a baby makes, and what he hears, are highly unreliable, meaning DIFFERENT things to him at different times. Neither the sounds he hears, nor sights he sees, are stable yet. Yet what he hears and does not understand WILL BE his native tongue, through which he will communicate with those around him, and they with him. And the strange, shifting ones he sees about him will become to him his comforters, and he will recognize his home, and see them there WITH him.
So, in each holy relationship, is the ability to communicate INSTEAD of separate reborn. Yet a holy relationship, so recently reborn itself from an unholy relationship, and yet more ancient than the old illusion that it has replaced, IS like a baby now, in its rebirth. Yet, in this infant is YOUR vision returned to you, and he will speak the language BOTH of you can understand. He is not nurtured by the "something else" you THOUGHT was you. He was not GIVEN there, nor was received by anything EXCEPT yourself. For no two people CAN unite EXCEPT through Christ, Whose vision sees them one.
Think what is GIVEN you, my holy brothers. This child will teach you what you do not understand, and make it plain. For his will be no alien tongue. He will need NO interpreter to you. For it was YOU who taught him what he knows, BECAUSE you knew it. He could not come to anything BUT you, NEVER to something else. Where Christ has entered, no-one is alone, for never could He find a home in separate ones. Yet must He be reborn into His ancient home, so seeming new and yet as old as He, a tiny newcomer, dependent on the holiness of your relationship, to let Him live.
Be certain that God does not entrust His Son to the unworthy. Nothing but what is PART of Him is worthy of BEING joined. Nor is it possible that anything NOT part of Him CAN join. Communication MUST have been restored to those that join, for this they COULD not do through bodies. What, then, HAS joined them? Reason will tell you that they MUST have seen each other through a vision NOT of the body, and communicated in a language the body does not speak. Nor could it be a fearful sight or sound that drew them gently into one. Rather, in each, the other saw a perfect shelter where his Self could be reborn in safety and in peace. Such did his reason tell him; such he believed BECAUSE it is the truth.
Here is the first DIRECT perception that you have made. You made it through awareness older than perception, and yet reborn in just an instant. For what is time to what was ALWAYS so? Think what that instant brought; the RECOGNITION that the "something else" you thought was you IS AN ILLUSION. And truth came instantly to show you where your self MUST be. It is denial of ILLUSIONS that calls on truth. For to deny illusions is to recognize that FEAR is meaningless. Into the holy home where fear is powerless, love enters thankfully, grateful that it is one with you who joined to LET it enter.
Christ comes to what is LIKE Himself; the same, NOT different. For He is ALWAYS drawn unto Himself. What is as like Him as a holy relationship? And what draws YOU together, draws HIM to you. Here is His sweetness, and His gentle innocence PROTECTED from attack. And here can He RETURN in confidence, for faith in one another is ALWAYS faith in Him. You are indeed correct in looking on each other as His chosen home. For here you willed WITH Him and with His Father. This IS your Father's Will for you, and yours WITH Him. And who is drawn to Christ is drawn to God, as surely as both are drawn to every holy relationship, the home prepared for them as earth is turned to Heaven.
I recently had to struggle through a period of intense emotional release, coupled with a lot of crying. It was triggered seemingly by father's day, inducing a grieving period and sense of loss, but it seemed to also move into some release relating to childhood abuse.
With such heavy feelings I became quite caught up in it, lost and immersed in ego. Also during this period I lost sight of the course teachings and of forgiveness. I felt too overwhelmed and upset to want to add more ego-challenging stress in the form of extra course stuff.
It also then became very annoying and frustrating that there was so much emotion, and that it wasn't stopping. I was forced to rest a lot. But it started to make me question, why do I keep having to have so much emotion coming out? Is there really a benefit to crying and releasing it? Is crying a part of my real self's healing or is it just some aspect of the ego and the body?
When I considered that I've had hundreds if not thousands of cries in recent years, and that I tend to throw myself into it, I also couldn't fathom how there could be so much to feel through. Why did things from 40 years ago keep coming up? Why did it require so many releases in order to make such slow progress? Was this really necessary and important in my spiritual path? Yes the crying does seem to move me past hurts and on to deeper stuff but is it really necessary?
I also recently started to consider the idea in ACIM of there being two levels of mind, higher and lower. Real thoughts shared with God produce the creation of spirit, and unreal thoughts shared with the ego produce intellect and physicality. So that made me start to realize, there are higher and lower parts to my mind.
I think this is a kind of turning point of "there must be a better way" because I'm also now starting to step back from the lower mind more often. I'm asking myself, is this feeling or perspective really a part of me as a higher-self, or is it coming up from the depths of a lower ego self? Even to the extent, are these hurt emotions, emotional pain and loss and grief and so on, really coming from or about "me" or is it part of the ego? Is it perhaps the ego that cries and is constantly upset?
Today perhaps for the first time, with a continued oozing out of further emotions, I started to assert the idea at the end of my rope, that "these feelings are not mine." Who and what I am seems to somehow be stepping back from or dis-associating from them. This seems pretty radical to suggest that any upset feeling is not really a part of me, is not mine, and is not part of my identity. It makes me realize I have been identifying with these things for a very long time.
The ego is pretty relentless in its morbid suffering. The body, if it holds certain emotional pain or energies in itself, certainly is also a repository of suffering and pain. It seems to me that every single little upset about anything ever is somehow stored somewhere and has to seemingly be released. But I'm also realizing that who and what I am does not have to be consumed by it, lost in it, playing along with it.
I don't know if this is some kind of attempted denial or repression, but it seems that there is some part of my sense of who and what I am which is detaching from these "lower" experiences and is identifying with something higher and lighter. All pain and misery, all upset, all grief and loss, all sense of shame or guilt, all fears, all hurt and suffering, surely cannot be a part of who or what I am as God created me. There can't be unhappy feelings in God's son. They cannot be real.
As I sit here and I still am having waves of emotion wanting to erupt and release, there's also some part of me now that feels stronger, and does not want to lose myself in it, or have it at all. When emotions become strong and overtake the mind, it can really become immersive and it starts to feel like "I" am the one who is feeling it and is hurt by it. I become centered in it. The emotions seem to describe me. I believe this is identifying with them, and thus with the ego.
As I remember that my identity or self is not these feelings, I immediately feel a deflating effect. The ego is always attempting to inflate things into a huge drama of intensity, especially at the emotional level. I think that identifying with the emotions and feeling like I'm the one who they are a part of, or am "the one" who is hurt, is all part of being lost in the ego.
I recall also some things which Eckhart Tolle has said about "the pain body", which is the ego's emotional body of pain and suffering. He said that this emotional pain body remains dormant a lot but sometimes it erupts into awareness and attempts to flood the mind with negative thoughts and memories of the past, trying to get the mind to identify with it and lose consciousness. I'm asking myself now if all and every single upsetting feeling "from the past" is really this pain body erupting and the ego trying to use my dependency on, and identification with feelings, as a way to keep me bound to it.
It seems weird to say, because what I'm really saying is that suddenly it seems that all my "lower" emotions are not really true of me. All hurt feelings are not really about me as God created me. All emotions that erupt from the bottomless pit of despair are not a part of my self. How can they be if God created me perfect and permanently happy? How can any kind of unhappiness or loss or shame or guilt or anything else be a part of my identity or my experience?
I feel like I've been battling with this emotion-monster for decades now. Years upon years of crying about the past. With the recent intolerability and obnoxiousness of it, it just became too much to a kind of breaking point, and now I feel like I'm snapping out of it. Like I"m done with it. I don't want to feel this crap anymore as though it's something I have to go through, or can't stop, or have no power over, or am destined to feel. It's not God's will for me. And it seems like all of it is a part of illusion.
As I look at it now, and as feelings threaten to "come up" again and flood my experience, I watch as they just emerge out of nowhere, from below, and seem to want to tempt me to believe that I am the one who is upset. But if I recall that I not these feelings, then somehow it seems fairly easy to "stay out of it". And that stepping back also deflates them and seems to cause them to simmer down again.
I think this is another thing that I have just been doing to myself over time. There is some drive in my psyche/personality to just hurl myself into full exposure to any and all emotions. But by identifying with them and believing they relate to me, or are part of me, having no boundaries with them, I have only been burying myself in them and feeling sorry for myself like a victim. Not to mention how much it consumes me and pulls me far away from higher thoughts.
I see Jesus in the course telling me to have more vigilance to protect the higher mind and to have more vigilance against the lower mind. The lower mind is run by the ego and wants to just turn everything into a life-or-death separation drama. I don't want to be a part of that anymore.
While at first I thought my whole self was the lower mind, and the higher mind was much higher, I now see that I'm moving up into the higher mind and the lower self is indeed below me. The ego wants us to identify with it and believe that all its perceptions of suffering are our own. That we are the body and its pains. That we are the suffering self. That's now who or what we are. The pool of misery doesn't seem to have an end. It seems the only thing to do with the desert is to leave.
The truth must be, then, that any unhappy feeling cannot be a part of my real self, cannot be true, cannot be real, and cannot be happening. My real self cannot be upset, cannot suffer loss, and cannot be hurt. It is extraordinary to think that I have lived as "a person" who seems to have suffered and felt hurt and upset so many times, and that not once has this suffering been true. But this is what ACIM is telling me. Only the thoughts and feelings that I share with God are real, and all the rest is ego noise, one of its many forms of the opposite to love.
"You hate it (the body), yet you think it IS your self, and that, WITHOUT it, would your self be lost."
"The ego is also in your mind, because you have ACCEPTED it there. ITS evaluation of you, however, is the exact opposite of the Holy Spirit's, because the ego does NOT love you. It is unaware of what you are, and wholly mistrustful of EVERYTHING it perceives, because its own perceptions are so shifting. The ego is therefore capable of suspiciousness at best, and viciousness at worst."
"the ego is not wholly split off, or it could not be believed at all. For it is your mind that BELIEVES in it, and gives existence TO it. Yet it is ALSO your mind that has the power to DENY its existence, and you will surely do so when you realize exactly what the journey it sets you IS."
"The ego is quite literally a fearful thought."
"Belief that there IS another way is the loftiest idea of which ego-thinking is capable. This is because it contains a hint of recognition that the ego is NOT the self."
"The ego is expert ONLY in confusion. It does not understand ANYTHING ELSE. As a teacher, then, it is totally confused and TOTALLY CONFUSING."
"Every response to the ego is a call to war, and war DOES deprive you of peace."
"The ego IS therefore a confusion in identification, which never had a consistent model, and never developed consistently."
"Jung was right indeed in insisting that the ego is NOT the self, and that the self should be regarded as an achievement."
"To identify with the ego is to attack yourself, and MAKE YOURSELF POOR. That is why everyone who identifies with the ego FEELS DEPRIVED. What he EXPERIENCES is then depression or anger, but what he DID is to exchange his self-love for self-hate, MAKING HIM AFRAID OF HIMSELF. He does NOT realize this. Even if he is fully aware of ANXIETY, he does NOT perceive its source AS HIS OWN EGO IDENTIFICATION, and he ALWAYS tries to handle it by making some sort of insane "arrangement" with the world."
"This is WHY the ego is insane; it teaches that you are NOT what you ARE."
"That is all the world of the ego is. NOTHING. It has no meaning. It does not exist."
"All that the ego is, is an idea that it is possible that things should HAPPEN to the Son of God, WITHOUT his will."
"The ego is the choice for guilt, the Holy Spirit the decision for blamelessness."
"For the ego DOES want to kill you, and if you identify WITH it, you MUST believe ITS GOAL IS YOURS."
"Guilt is the only need the ego has, and, as long as you identify WITH it, guilt will remain ATTRACTIVE to you."
"It is always an interpretation that gives rise to negative emotions"
"Our self-made roles are shifting, and they seem to change from mourner to ecstatic bliss of love and loving. We can laugh or weep, and greet the day with welcome or with tears. "
"who is sinless cannot suffer pain"
"The Self Which God created cannot sin, and therefore cannot suffer."
"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss, and I cannot die. I am not a body. I would recognize my reality today."
"I cannot suffer any loss or deprivation or pain because of who I am."
"The guiltless mind cannot suffer."
"The gentle have no pain. They cannot suffer. Why would they not be joyous? They are sure they are beloved and must be safe."
"You have enslaved the world with all your fears, with doubts and miseries, your pain and tears, and all your sorrows press upon it, and keep it a prisoner to your beliefs."
"And God Himself shall wipe away all tears."
"Be not afraid of Love. For It alone can heal all sorrow, wipe away all tears, and gently waken from his dreams of pain the Son whom God acknowledges as His."
"Repeat God's Name and all the world responds by laying down illusions. Every dream the world holds dear has suddenly gone by, and where it seemed to stand you find a star; a miracle of grace. The sick arise, healed of their sickly thoughts. The blind can see; the deaf can hear. The sorrowful cast off their mourning, and the tears of pain are dried as happy laughter comes to bless the world."
"And He would have all tears be wiped away, with none remaining yet unshed, and none but waiting their appointed time to fall. For God has willed that laughter should replace each one, and that His Son be free again."
"Perhaps you come in tears, but hear Him say, "My brother, Holy Son of God, behold your idle dream, in which this could occur," and you will leave the holy instant with your laughter and your brother's JOINED with His."
If someone else is having a problem, and you feel concerned, there is something mistaken going on in your mind.
There is actually an ego reaction, based on the hierarchy of illusions, which says that based on the perceived severity of the situation, you should be having a certain amount of reaction.
Just even perceiving that someone ELSE is having a problem, seems to be enough of a belief in a "cause" happening outside of you, even if it not perceived as happening TO you, to produce a sense of "effects" showing up in your mind.
If it's you believing that someone else's body is under attack, this would seem not to be about you at all. But it is, because your mind is having the belief in attack. And even if it's someone "not me" seeming to be attacked, just the acceptance that it is occurring is enough to cause your mind to generate fear thoughts.
So then the question arises, is it possible when presented with situations in which other people are suffering, to be completely unmoved by it. Is it possible to not have a reaction, to not go into fear, or into diagnosis mode, or attempting to react to what seems very real.
And then this further leads to, is it OKAY to not react? Is it okay to remain calm and peaceful and seemingly "disconnected" from what is supposed to be a "normal reaction"? Is it okay to be happy when someone is upset, calm when someone is stressing out, peaceful when someone is in pain, etc. That basically, your inner state and emotion and mental condition becomes NOT DEPENDENT ON the external world.
Somehow this means transcending the hierarchy of illusions, orders of severity/difficulty, belief in seriousness, problems seeming to be real, other people's problems seeming to be real, and sinking into a kind of detached "insulation" or self-contained independently chosen state of being, that isn't always the EFFECT OF or a REACTION TO what's happening in the world. The idea of being in a state which the WORLD did not cause, is quite radically new.
Can I become not involved. Can I remain untangled from the illusions. In the face of dramas, can I not buy into them. Can I remain happy and peaceful at all times, which seems very very alien to the state of being constantly tossed around on the ocean waves like a rollercoaster of stressful reactions. Can I become independent of the world's causalities, immune to them, invulnerable to them, such that I am literally no longer AFFECTED by anything. And such that whatever state I experience *I* have chosen, and the world has not caused to happen in me.
"I am not at the effect of the world I see."
The idea for today is obviously a continuation and extension of the preceding one. This time, however, specific mind-searching periods are necessary in addition to applying the idea to particular situations as they arise. Five practice periods are urged, allowing a full minute for each.
In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. Then close your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present or anticipated, which arouse anger in you. The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage. The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.
Try, therefore, not to let the "little" thoughts of anger escape you in the practice periods. Remember that you do not really recognize what really arouses anger in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything. You will probably be tempted to dwell more on some situations than on others, on the fallacious grounds that they are more "obvious." This is not so. It is merely an example of the belief that some forms of attack are more justified than others.
As you search your mind for all the forms in which attack thoughts present themselves, hold each one in mind and tell yourself;
"I am determined to see ____ (name of person) differently."
"I am determined to see ____ (specify the situation) differently."
Try to be as specific as possible. You may, for example, focus your anger on a particular attribute of a particular person, believing that the anger is limited to this aspect. If your perception of the person is suffering from this form of distortion, say:
"I am determined to see____ (specify the attribute) in____ (name of person) differently."
The truth can seem quite bizarre in comparison to what you've been used to. Your whole life you've spent having experiences of suffering, being affected, upset, threatened, afraid, guilty, ashamed, having various sicknesses, changes in emotion and mood, all kinds of stresses etc.
What the truth says it that YOU CANNOT BE CHANGED. Hmm.... if this is true, then what's with all these seeming attempts to BE CHANGED by the world? How can any of these forms of suffering be relevant is you are unchangeable?
"You were NOT born to die. You CANNOT change, because your Function HAS been fixed by God." UrT29G4
It's a simple idea at first but it has very deep and far reaching consequences. If you cannot change you cannot be caused by the world in any way, you cannot be made to feel something in particular, you cannot have your self modified, your identity can't change, you can't even be hurt or become sick or have a change in mood.
If you are the unchangeable eternal permanent being that God created, which you are, then ALL of the seeming influences in the world are null and void. Not one single thing in the world has any power over you whatsoever. Not one influence, not one force, not one person, not one place, nothing. It does nothing to you, in the most extreme way.
So what's with this farce, this lie, this total world full of deceptions and untruths, things that claim to be happening to you, changing you, modifying you, defining you, creating and causing you, when in truth they are doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. A dream of nothing, causing nothing, doing nothing, with no effect.
"What does this recognition "cost"? It costs the world we see, for the world will never again appear to rule the mind. For with this recognition is responsibility placed where it belongs; not with the world, but on him who looks on the world and sees it as it is not. He looks on what he chooses to see. No more and no less. The world does nothing to him. He only thought it did." UrM6C3
"Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are." UrW190L5
While we have an ego, we are not seeing reality directly. Instead, we lose track of the context or perspective of the whole, and enter into a kind of fictional private world. It becomes a private "version" of a world, which is not populated by real figures but by imaginary ones. These figures are "shadow figures" which a person then interacts with as if they are the whole of what is there. But these characters are made up of reactions and judgements and projected ego images.
This is the case for someone in a state of insanity, which means pretty much everyone. Anyone who believes in separation and has separated themselves off from reality, is in a private kind of world. It becomes a subjective world, a world of interpretation and judgement and fantasy. In this world they alone imagine personalized versions of everyone, which barricade them in and hide the reality of the person.
They interact with these images as if they are the actual people. They do not see the actual people, only their interpretations of them. Even if another actual person is right in front of them, they do not see them and instead have a special relationship with a fantasy that is not even there. They are lost in a dream, insanely relating to hallucinated entities as if they really exist, and only they can see them.
Everyone with an ego is doing this. We're all having privatized worlds in which we are in relationships with fantasy characters that we've made up to take over from our actual brothers. We don't see people for how they really are. We have made up an ego for them instead to take the place of them, and the ego we've made for them is in a special relationship with our "own" ego.
Inside this personal world it's as though the person doesn't even really see reality, or hear what's really happening. They see and hear what they project and perceive, and cannot see beyond it. They populate their world with figures from the past and illusions of people and interpretations of judgements laid upon them. They think that these things stand-in for the actual people and are all that exist. And now they are blind to reality and lost in a dream-world, imagining that illusions are real.
"The other has many forms, for the content of INDIVIDUAL illusions differs greatly. But they have one thing in common; they are all insane. They are made of sights which are NOT seen, and sounds which are NOT heard. They make up a PRIVATE world which CANNOT be shared. For they are meaningful ONLY to their maker, and so they have no meaning at all. In this world their maker moves alone, for only HE perceives them.
Each one peoples his world with figures from his INDIVIDUAL past, and it is because of this that private worlds DO differ. But the figures that he sees were NEVER real, for they are made up ONLY of his REACTIONS to his brothers, and do NOT include their reactions to HIM. Therefore he does not see that he made them, and that they ARE NOT WHOLE. For these figures HAVE NO WITNESSES, being perceived in one SEPARATE mind only.
It is THROUGH these strange and shadowy figures that the insane relate to their insane world. For they SEE only those who remind them of these images, and it is to THEM that they relate. Thus do they communicate with those who ARE NOT THERE, and it is THEY who answer them. And no-one hears their answer save him who called upon them, and he ALONE believes they answered him. Projection MAKES perception, and you CANNOT see beyond it. Again and again have men attacked each other, because they saw IN THEM a shadow figure in their private world." UrT12E1
"The delusional can be very destructive, for they do not recognize they have condemned THEMSELVES. They do not wish to die, YET THEY WILL NOT LET CONDEMNATION GO. And so they SEPARATE into their private world, where everything is disordered, and where what is within, appears to be without. Yet what IS within they do NOT see, for the REALITY of their brothers they CANNOT see." UrT12E4
"Your private world is filled with the figures of fear you have invited into it. And all the love your brothers offer you, YOU DO NOT SEE." UrT12E5 "You who know not what you do, CAN learn what insanity IS, and look beyond it. It is GIVEN you to learn how to DENY insanity, and come forth from your private world in peace." UrT12E7
"Yet in the darkness, in the private world of sleep, you SEE in dreams, although your eyes are closed. And it is here that WHAT you see YOU MADE. But let the DARKNESS go, and ALL you made YOU WILL NO LONGER SEE, for sight of IT depends upon DENYING vision." UrT12E9
"Yet this is what denial DOES, for BY it you ACCEPT insanity, believing you can make a private world, AND RULE YOUR OWN PERCEPTION. But FOR this, light MUST be excluded. Dreams disappear when light has come, AND YOU CAN SEE." UrT12E9
"If I have no private thoughts, I cannot see a private world." UrW54L3 "I have no private thoughts. Yet it is only private thoughts of which I am aware. What can these thoughts mean? They do not exist, and so they mean nothing." UrW52L5
"Yet it is a fact that there are no private thoughts. Despite your initial resistance to this idea, you will yet understand that it must be true if salvation is possible at all." UrW19L2
"To the ego, THE MIND IS PRIVATE, and only the body CAN be shared. Ideas are basically of no concern, except as they draw the BODY of another closer or farther." UrT15H8
"For you think that your minds must be kept PRIVATE, or you will LOSE them. And, if your BODIES are together, your minds remain your own." UrT15H11 "How can you do this when you would prefer to have PRIVATE thoughts, AND KEEP THEM? The ONLY way you COULD do this, is to DENY the perfect communication that makes the holy instant WHAT IT IS." UrT15E7
"Let not your fear of sin protect it from correction, for the attraction of guilt is ONLY fear. Here is the ONE emotion that YOU made, WHATEVER it may seem to be. And it IS the emotion of secrecy, of private thoughts, AND OF THE BODY." UrT22B5
"If you are joined, how COULD it be that you have private thoughts?" UrT21G3 "Minds ARE joined; bodies are not. Only by assigning to the mind the properties OF THE BODY, does separation SEEM to be possible. And it is MIND that seems to be fragmented and private and ALONE. Its guilt, which KEEPS it separate, is projected to the body, which suffers and dies, BECAUSE IT IS ATTACKED to hold the separation in the mind, and let it NOT KNOW its unity." UrT18G3