Let reason take another step. If you attack whom God would heal, and hate the one He loves, then you and your Creator have a DIFFERENT will. Yet, if you ARE His Will, what you MUST then believe is that you are NOT yourself. You can, indeed, believe this, and you DO. And you HAVE faith in this, and see much evidence on its behalf. And where, you wonder, does your strange uneasiness, your sense of being disconnected, and your haunting fear of lack of meaning in yourself arise? It is as though you wandered in, without a plan of any kind except to wander off, for only that seems certain.
Yet we have heard a very similar description earlier. But it was NOT of you. And yet, this strange idea which it DOES accurately describe, you think IS you. Reason would tell you that the world you see through eyes that are not yours, MUST make no sense to you. To whom would vision such as this send BACK its messages? Surely not you, whose sight is wholly INDEPENDENT of the eyes which look upon the world. If this is NOT your vision, what can it show to YOU? The brain can NOT interpret what YOUR vision sees. This YOU would understand. The brain interprets to the body, of which it is a part. But what IT says, YOU cannot understand.
Yet you have LISTENED to it. And long and hard you TRIED to understand its messages. You did not realize it is IMPOSSIBLE to understand what fails ENTIRELY to REACH you. You have received NO messages at all you understood. For you have listened to what can never communicate at all. Think, then, what happened. Denying what you are, and firm in faith that you are something ELSE, this something else, which you have MADE to be yourself, BECAME your sight. Yet it MUST be the SOMETHING ELSE which sees, and, as NOT YOU, explains its sight TO you.
YOUR vision would, of course, render this quite unnecessary. But, if your eyes are closed, and you have called upon this thing to lead you, asking it to EXPLAIN to you the world IT sees, you have no reason NOT to listen, nor to suspect that what it tells you is NOT true. Reason would tell you that it CAN'T be true, BECAUSE you do not understand it. GOD HAS NO SECRETS. He does NOT lead you through a world of misery, waiting to tell you, at the journey's end, why He DID this to you. What could be secret from His Will? Yet you believe that YOU have secrets. What could your secrets BE except ANOTHER will, that is your own, APART from His?
Reason would tell you that this is no SECRET, that need be hidden as a sin. But a MISTAKE indeed! Let not your fear of sin protect it from correction, for the attraction of guilt is ONLY fear. Here is the ONE emotion that YOU made, WHATEVER it may seem to be. And it IS the emotion of secrecy, of private thoughts, AND OF THE BODY. This is the ONE emotion that opposes love, and ALWAYS leads to sight of differences, and LOSS of sense of sameness. Here is the ONE emotion that keeps you blind, dependent on the self you think you made, to lead you through the world it made for you.
YOUR sight was GIVEN you, along with everything that you CAN understand. You will perceive NO difficulty in understanding what this vision tells you. For everyone sees ONLY what he thinks he IS. And what YOUR sight will show you, you will understand BECAUSE it is the truth. Only YOUR vision can convey to YOU what YOU can see. It reaches you directly, WITHOUT a need to be INTERPRETED to you. What NEEDS interpretation MUST be alien. Nor will it EVER be made understandable, by an interpreter you cannot understand. Of all the messages you have received and failed to understand, this course alone is OPEN to your understanding, and CAN be understood.
This IS your language. You do not understand it yet, only because your whole communication is like a baby's. The sounds a baby makes, and what he hears, are highly unreliable, meaning DIFFERENT things to him at different times. Neither the sounds he hears, nor sights he sees, are stable yet. Yet what he hears and does not understand WILL BE his native tongue, through which he will communicate with those around him, and they with him. And the strange, shifting ones he sees about him will become to him his comforters, and he will recognize his home, and see them there WITH him.
So, in each holy relationship, is the ability to communicate INSTEAD of separate reborn. Yet a holy relationship, so recently reborn itself from an unholy relationship, and yet more ancient than the old illusion that it has replaced, IS like a baby now, in its rebirth. Yet, in this infant is YOUR vision returned to you, and he will speak the language BOTH of you can understand. He is not nurtured by the "something else" you THOUGHT was you. He was not GIVEN there, nor was received by anything EXCEPT yourself. For no two people CAN unite EXCEPT through Christ, Whose vision sees them one.
Think what is GIVEN you, my holy brothers. This child will teach you what you do not understand, and make it plain. For his will be no alien tongue. He will need NO interpreter to you. For it was YOU who taught him what he knows, BECAUSE you knew it. He could not come to anything BUT you, NEVER to something else. Where Christ has entered, no-one is alone, for never could He find a home in separate ones. Yet must He be reborn into His ancient home, so seeming new and yet as old as He, a tiny newcomer, dependent on the holiness of your relationship, to let Him live.
Be certain that God does not entrust His Son to the unworthy. Nothing but what is PART of Him is worthy of BEING joined. Nor is it possible that anything NOT part of Him CAN join. Communication MUST have been restored to those that join, for this they COULD not do through bodies. What, then, HAS joined them? Reason will tell you that they MUST have seen each other through a vision NOT of the body, and communicated in a language the body does not speak. Nor could it be a fearful sight or sound that drew them gently into one. Rather, in each, the other saw a perfect shelter where his Self could be reborn in safety and in peace. Such did his reason tell him; such he believed BECAUSE it is the truth.
Here is the first DIRECT perception that you have made. You made it through awareness older than perception, and yet reborn in just an instant. For what is time to what was ALWAYS so? Think what that instant brought; the RECOGNITION that the "something else" you thought was you IS AN ILLUSION. And truth came instantly to show you where your self MUST be. It is denial of ILLUSIONS that calls on truth. For to deny illusions is to recognize that FEAR is meaningless. Into the holy home where fear is powerless, love enters thankfully, grateful that it is one with you who joined to LET it enter.
Christ comes to what is LIKE Himself; the same, NOT different. For He is ALWAYS drawn unto Himself. What is as like Him as a holy relationship? And what draws YOU together, draws HIM to you. Here is His sweetness, and His gentle innocence PROTECTED from attack. And here can He RETURN in confidence, for faith in one another is ALWAYS faith in Him. You are indeed correct in looking on each other as His chosen home. For here you willed WITH Him and with His Father. This IS your Father's Will for you, and yours WITH Him. And who is drawn to Christ is drawn to God, as surely as both are drawn to every holy relationship, the home prepared for them as earth is turned to Heaven.
And, if the Holy Spirit can commute each sentence that you laid upon yourself into a blessing, then it CANNOT be a sin. Sin is ONE thing in all this world that CANNOT change. It is immutable. And ON its changelessness the world depends. The magic of the world can SEEM to hide the pain of sin from sinners, and deceive with glitter and with guile. Yet each one knows the cost of sin is death. And so it IS. For sin is a REQUEST for death, a wish to make this world's foundation sure as love, dependable as Heaven, and as strong as God Himself. The world IS safe from love to everyone who thinks sin possible. Nor WILL it change.
Yet IS it possible what God created NOT should SHARE the attributes of His creation, when it OPPOSES it in every way? It CANNOT be the "sinner's" wish for death is just as strong as is His Will for Life. Nor CAN the basis of a world He did NOT make be firm and sure as Heaven. How COULD it be that hell and Heaven are the same? And is it possible that what He did NOT will can NOT be changed? What is immutable BESIDES His Will? And what can share Its attributes EXCEPT Itself? What wish can rise AGAINST His Will, and BE immutable?
If you could realize NOTHING is changeless BUT the Will of God, this course would not be difficult for you. For it is this that you do not believe. Yet there is nothing ELSE you COULD believe, if you but looked at what it really IS. Let us go back to what we said before, and think of it more carefully. It MUST be so that either God is mad, or is this world a place of madness. Not ONE Thought of His makes ANY sense at all within this world. And NOTHING that the world believes as true has ANY meaning in His Mind at all.
What makes no sense and has no meaning IS insanity. And what is madness CANNOT be the truth. If ONE belief so deeply valued here were true, then every Thought God ever had is an illusion. And if but ONE Thought of His is true, then ALL beliefs the world gives ANY meaning to are false, and make no sense at all. This IS the choice you make. Do not attempt to see it differently, nor twist it into something it is not. For only THIS decision CAN you make. The rest is up to God, and NOT to you.
To justify ONE value that the world upholds is to DENY your Father's sanity AND YOURS. For God and His beloved Son do NOT think differently. And it is the AGREEMENT of their Thought that makes the Son a co-creator with the Mind Whose Thought created him. And if he chooses to believe ONE thought OPPOSED to truth, he has decided he is NOT his Father's Son, because the Son is mad, and sanity must lie apart from both the Father AND the Son. THIS YOU BELIEVE. Think not that this belief depends upon the form it takes. Who thinks the world is sane in any way; is justified in ANYTHING it thinks, or is maintained by ANY form of reason, believes this to be true.
Sin is not real BECAUSE the Father and the Son are NOT insane. This world is meaningless BECAUSE it rests on sin. Who could create the changeless, if it does NOT rest on truth? The Holy Spirit HAS the power to change the whole foundation of the world you see to something else; a basis NOT insane, on which a sane perception can be based, another world perceived. And one in which is nothing contradicted that would lead the Son of God to sanity and joy. Nothing attests to death and cruelty; to separation and to differences. For here is everything perceived as one, and no-one loses, that each one may gain.
Test EVERYTHING that you believe against this ONE requirement. And understand that everything that meets this ONE demand is worthy of your faith. But nothing else. What is not love is sin, and either one perceives the other as insane and meaningless. Love is the basis for a world perceived as wholly mad to sinners, who believe theirs is the way to sanity. But sin is equally insane within the sight of love, whose gentle eyes would look BEYOND the madness, and rest peacefully on truth. Each sees a world immutable, as each defines the changeless and eternal truth of what YOU are. And each reflects a view of what the Father and the Son MUST be, to make that viewpoint meaningful and sane.
Your special function is the special form in which the fact that God is NOT insane appears most sensible and meaningful to you. The CONTENT is the same. The FORM is suited to your special needs, and to the special time and place in which you think you find yourself, and where you can be free of place and time, and ALL that you believe must limit you. The Son of God can NOT be bound by time or place, or anything God did NOT will. Yet, if His Will is seen as madness, then the FORM of sanity which makes it most acceptable to those who ARE insane requires special choice. Nor CAN this choice be made BY the insane, whose problem IS their choices are NOT free, and made with reason in the light of sense.
It WOULD be madness to entrust salvation to the insane. BECAUSE He is not mad, has God appointed One as sane as He to raise a saner world to meet the sight of everyone who chose insanity as his salvation. To this One is given the choice of form most suitable to him; one which will NOT attack the world he sees, but enter into it in quietness, and SHOW him it is mad. This One but points to an ALTERNATIVE, ANOTHER way of looking at what he has seen before, and recognizes as the world in which he lives, and THOUGHT he understood before. Now MUST he question this, because the form of the alternative is one which he can NOT deny, nor overlook, nor fail completely to perceive and see at all.
To each his special function is designed to be perceived as possible, and more and more desired, as it PROVES to him that it is an alternative he WANTS. From this position does his sinfulness, and ALL the sin he sees within the world, offer him less and less. Until he comes to understand it COST him sanity, and stands BETWEEN him and whatever hope he has of BEING sane. Nor is he left without ESCAPE from madness, for he has a special part in EVERYONE's escape. He can no more be left outside, WITHOUT a special function in the hope of peace, than could the Father overlook His Son, and pass him by in careless thoughtlessness.
What is dependable EXCEPT His Love? And where does sanity abide EXCEPT in Him? The One Who speaks for Him can show you this, in the alternative He chose especially for you. It is God's Will that you remember this, and so emerge from deepest mourning into perfect joy. Accept the function that has been assigned to you in God's Own plan to show His Son that hell and Heaven are different; NOT the same. But that, in Heaven THEY are all the same, WITHOUT the differences that WOULD have made a hell of Heaven, and a heaven of hell, had such insanity been possible.
The whole belief that someone loses but reflects the underlying tenet God must be insane. For in this world it seems that one must gain BECAUSE another loses. If THIS were true, then God is mad indeed. But what IS this belief, except a form of the more basic tenet, "Sin is real, and rules the world?" For every little gain, must someone lose, and pay exact amount in blood and suffering. For otherwise would evil triumph, and destruction be the total cost of any gain at all. You who believe that God is mad, look carefully at this, and understand that it MUST be that EITHER God OR this must be insane, but hardly both.
Salvation is rebirth of the idea no-one CAN lose for ANYONE to gain. And everyone MUST gain, if anyone WOULD BE a gainer. Here is sanity restored. And on this single rock of truth can faith in God's eternal saneness rest, in perfect confidence and perfect peace. Reason is satisfied, for ALL insane beliefs can be corrected here. And sin MUST be impossible, if THIS is true. This is the rock on which salvation rests; the vantage point from which the Holy Spirit gives meaning and direction to the plan in which your special function has a part. For here your special function is made whole, because it shares the FUNCTION of the whole.
Remember ALL temptation is but this; a mad belief that God's insanity would make YOU sane, and GIVE you what you want. That either God OR you must LOSE to madness, because your aims can NOT be reconciled. Death demands life, but life is NOT maintained at ANY cost. No-one CAN suffer for the Will of God to be fulfilled. Salvation IS His Will BECAUSE you share it. NOT for you alone, but for the Self which IS the Son of God. He CANNOT lose, for if he could, the loss would be his Father's, and in Him NO loss is possible. And this is sane BECAUSE it is the truth.
The miracle is a learning device which lessens the need for time. The sudden shift from horizontal to vertical perception which the miracle entails introduces an interval from which the doer and the receiver both emerge much farther along in time than they would otherwise have been.
A miracle has thus the unique property of abolishing time by rendering the space of time it occupies unnecessary. There is NO relation between the time a miracle TAKES and the time it COVERS. It substitutes FOR learning that might have taken thousands of years. It does this by the underlying recognition of perfect equality and holiness between doer and receiver on which the miracle rests.It is unstable, but perfectly consistent, i.e., it does not occur predictably across time, and it rarely occurs in comparable forms. But within ITSELF it is perfectly consistent. Since it contains NOTHING BUT an acknowledgment of equality and worth, all parts ARE equal. This establishes the prerequisite for validity.
We said before that the miracle abolishes time. It does this by a process of COLLAPSING it. It thus abolishes certain INTERVALS within it. It does this, however, WITHIN the larger temporal sequence.
The validity of the miracle, then, is PREDICTIVE, not logical, within the temporal schema. It establishes an out-of-pattern time interval, which is NOT under the usual laws of time. Only in this sense is it timeless. By collapsing time, it literally saves time, much the way "daylight saving time" does. It rearranges the distribution of light.
The miracle is the only device which man has at his immediate disposal for controlling time. Only the Revelation TRANSCENDS it, having nothing to do with time at all. The miracle is much like the body, in that both are learning aids which aim at facilitating a state in which they are unnecessary. When the Soul is finally in the original state of direct communication, neither the body nor the miracle serves any purpose.
While he is IN the body, however, man can choose between loveless and miraculous channels of creativity. He can create an empty shell (see previous reference), but he DOES NOT create nothing at all. He can wait, delay, paralyze himself, reduce his creativity almost to nothing, and even introduce a real developmental arrest or regression. But he CANNOT abolish his creativity. He CAN destroy his medium of communication, but NOT his potential.
He was NOT created by his own free will. Only what HE creates is his to decide. The basic decision of the miracle-minded is NOT to wait on time any longer than is necessary. Time can waste, as well as be wasted. The miracle-worker, therefore, accepts the time-control factor of the miracle gladly, because he knows that every collapse of time brings all men closer to the ultimate RELEASE from time, in which the Son and the Father ARE one.
The real meaning of "are of one kind" is "of one mind or will." When the will of the Sonship and the Father are one, their perfect accord IS Heaven.
ASIDE Tell Bill he is right in providing you with the consistent strength you need to get, and he needs to offer. Your instability and his weakness have resulted from bad karmic choices, and your relationship NOW is crucial for the future. You must both exert every effort to restore it to what it once was. Both of you are correcting where you have failed before. This has already enabled you to fulfill a very unexpected role in your own joint salvation, and the salvation of many other children I will entrust increasingly to you. These are by no means chosen at random. Bill should know that his preparation is not only in terms of sharing in the results of your better application of some rather unusual talents. His own role, which he will understand after his preparation is complete, will be equally surprising. He will need your help then, as you need his strength now.
Note that you DO NOT need his help as a scribe, because you developed this ability by your own efforts, and finally placed them at MY disposal. By lending you his strength, he strengthens himself. When he gains this through his own efforts, he will need your help in a very unexpected way. But this is just another example of the reciprocal nature of miracles.
Equality does not imply homogeneity NOW. When EVERYONE has EVERYTHING, individual contributions to the Sonship will no longer be necessary. When the Atonement has been completed, ALL talents will be shared by ALL of the Sons of God. God is NOT partial. All of His children have His total love, and all of his gifts are given freely to everyone alike.
"Except you become as little children" means unless you fully recognize your complete dependence on God, you cannot know the real power of the Son in his true relationship with the Father.
You and Bill DO have special talents which are needed for the Celestial speedup at this time. But note that the term speed-up is not one which relates to the TRANSCENDING of time.
When time is abolished, and all of the Sons of God have come home, no special agents will be necessary. But do not underestimate the power of special agents now, or the great need there is for them. I do not claim to be more than that myself. No one in his Right Mind, (a term which should be specially noted) ever wants either more or less than that. Those who are called on to witness for me NOW are witnessing for all men, as I am.
The role of the Priestess was once to experience Revelations and to work miracles. The purpose was to bring those not yet available for direct Revelations into proper focus for them. Heightened perception was always the essential Priestess attribute.
(This is the first time that Helen Schucman ever said that she would be honored if there were any notes.)
(Neither Bill nor I is really clear about how sexual-impulses can be directly translated into miracle-impulses.) The fantasies that I mentioned yesterday (refers to discussion Helen Schucman and Bill had) provide an excellent example of how you switch. (Now switch the pronoun references, or it will be too confusing.)
Fantasies are distorted forms of thinking, because they always involve twisting perception into unreality. Fantasy is a debased form of vision. Visions and Revelations are closely related. Fantasies and projection are more closely associated, because both attempt to control external reality according to false internal needs. "Live and let live" happens to be a very meaningful injunction. Twist reality in any way, and you are perceiving destructively. Reality was lost through usurpation, which in turn produced tyranny. I told you you were now restored to your former role in the Plan of Atonement. But you must still choose freely to devote your heritage to the greater Restoration. As long as a single slave remains to walk the earth, your release is not complete. Complete restoration of the Sonship is the only true goal of the miracle-minded.
Sexual fantasies are distortions of perception by definition. They are a means of making false associations, and obtaining pleasure from them. Man can do this only because he IS creative. But although he can perceive false associations, he can never make them real except to himself. As was said before, man believes in what he creates. If he creates a miracle, he will be equally strong in his belief in that. The strength of his conviction will then sustain the belief of the miracle receiver.
NO fantasies, sexual or otherwise, are true. Fantasies become totally unnecessary as the Wholly satisfying nature of reality becomes apparent. The sex impulse IS a miracle impulse when it is in proper focus. One individual sees in another the right partner for "procreating the stock" (Wolff was not too far off here), and also for their joint establishment of a creative home. This does not involve fantasy at all. If I am asked to participate in the decision, the decision will be a Right one, too.
In a situation where you or another person, or both, experience inappropriate sex impulses, KNOW FIRST that this is an expression of fear. Your love toward each other is NOT perfect, and this is why the fear arose. Turn immediately to me by denying the power of the fear, and ask me to help you to replace it with love. This shifts the sexual impulse immediately to the miracle-impulse, and places it at MY disposal.
Then acknowledge the true creative worth of both yourself AND the other one. This places strength where it belongs. Note that sexual fantasies are ALWAYS destructive (or depleting), in that they perceive another in an inappropriate creative role. Both people are perceived essentially as "objects" fulfilling THEIR OWN pleasure drives. This dehumanized view is the source of the DEPLETING use of sex. Freud's description is purely NEGATIVE, i.e., as a release from the UNPLEASANT. He also observed that the tension from id impulses never completely abates.
What he should have said is that the shift from miracle-impulses to sexual impulses was debilitating in the first place, because of the level-confusion involved. This set up a state in which real release was impossible. Note also that Freud's notion of sex was as a device for inducing RELAXATION, which he confused with PEACE.
Inappropriate sex relaxes only in the sense that it may induce physical sleep. The miracle, on the other hand, is an ENERGIZER. It always strengthens, and never depletes. It DOES induce peace, and by establishing tranquility (not relaxation) it enables both giver and receiver to enter into a state of Grace. Here his miracle-mindedness, (not release from tension) is restored.
Tension is the result of a building-up of unexpressed miracle-impulses. This can be truly abated only by releasing the miracle-drive, which has been blocked. Converting it to sexual libido merely produces further blocking. Never foster this illusion in yourself, or encourage it in others. An "object" is incapable of release, because it is a concept which is deprived of creative power. The recognition of the real creative power in yourself AND others brings release because it brings peace.
The peace of God which passeth understanding CAN keep your hearts now and forever.
There are only two short additions needed here:
1. Your earlier acute problem in writing things down came from a MUCH earlier misuse of very great scribal abilities. These were turned to secret rather than shared advantage, depriving it (?) of its miraculous potential, and diverting it into possession. This is much like the confusion of sex impulses with possession-impulses. Some of the original material is still in the Temple. This is why you became so afraid about Atlantis. Bill has his own reasons.
2. Retain your miracle-minded attitude toward Rosie VERY carefully. She once hurt both of you, which is why she is now your servant. But she is blessed in that she sees service as a source of joy. Help her straighten out her past errors by contributing to your welfare now.
(special Revelation re Helen Schucman -OMISSION 1.)
Helen Schucman question re: past memories. ANSWER: As long as you remember ALWAYS that you never suffered anything because of anything that anyone ELSE did, this is not dangerous.
Remember that you who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness. You never really WANTED peace before, so there was no point in knowing how to get it. This is an example of the "need to know" principle, which was established by the Plan of Atonement long before CIA.
No kind of knowledge is acquired by anyone unless he wants it, or believes in some way he NEEDS it. A psychologist does NOT need a lesson on the hierarchy of needs as such, but like everyone else, he DOES need to understand his own.
This particular set of notes will be the only one which deals with the concept of "lack", because while the concept does not exist in the Creation of God, it is VERY apparent in the creations of man. It is, in fact, the essential difference.
A need implies lack, by definition. It involves the recognition, conscious or unconscious, (and at times, fortunately, superconscious) that you would be better off in a state which is somehow different from the one you are in.
Until the Separation, which is a better term than the Fall, nothing was lacking. This meant that man had no needs at all. If he had not deprived himself, he would never have experienced them.
After the Separation, needs became the most powerful source of motivation for human action. All behavior is essentially motivated by needs, but behavior itself is not a Divine attribute. The body is the mechanism for behavior. (Ask any behaviorist, and he's RIGHT, too.)
You tell your own classes that nobody would bother even to get up and go from one place to another if he did not think he would somehow be better off. This is very true.
Believing that he COULD be "better off" is the reason why man has the mechanism for behavior at his disposal. This is why the Bible says "By their DEEDS ye shall know them."
A man acts according to the particular hierarchy of needs he establishes for himself. His hierarchy, in turn, depends on his perception of what he IS, i.e., what he LACKS. This establishes his own rules for what he needs to know.
Separation from God is the only lack he really needs to correct. But his Separation would never have occurred if he had not distorted his perception of truth, and thus perceived himself as lacking.
The concept of ANY sort of need HIERARCHY arose because, having made this fundamental error, he had already fragmented himself into levels with DIFFERENT needs. As he integrates, HE becomes one, and his ONE need becomes one accordingly. Only the fragmented can be confused about this.
Internal integration within the self will not (suffice to?) correct the lack fallacy, but it WILL correct the NEED fallacy. (Thank you for writing this as given.) Unified need produces unified action, because it produces lack of ambivalence.
The concept of need hierarchy, a corollary to the original error, requires correction at its OWN level, before the error of levels itself can be corrected. Man cannot operate (or behave) effectively while he operates at split levels. But as long as he does so, he must introduce correction from the bottom UP.
This is because he now operates in space, where "up" and "down" are meaningful terms. Ultimately, of course, space is as meaningless as time. The concept is really one of space-time BELIEF. The physical world exists only because man can use it to correct his UNBELIEF, which placed him in it originally. As long as man KNEW he did not need anything, the whole device was unnecessary.
The need to know is not safely under man's control at this time. It is MUCH better off under mine. Let's just leave it at that.
(Specific question raised by WT re sex under existing conditions) (Helen Schucman raised previous question about the past, which has just been answered.)
The other question, however, I am more than willing to answer, because it is appropriate for NOW. You and Bill both chose your present sex partners shamefully, and would have to atone for the lack of love which was involved in any case.
You selected them precisely BECAUSE they were NOT suited to gratify your fantasies. This was not because you wanted to abandon or give up the fantasies, but because you were AFRAID of them. You saw in your partners a means of protecting against the fear, but both of you continued to "look around" for chances to indulge the fantasies.
The dream of the "perfect partner" is an attempt to find EXTERNAL integration, while retaining conflicting needs in the self.
Bill was somewhat less guilty of this than you, but largely because he was more afraid. He had abandoned the hope (of finding a perfect partner) in a neurotic sense of despair of finding it. You, on the other hand, insisted that the hope was justified. Neither of you, therefore, was in your Right Mind.
As was said before, homosexuality is INHERENTLY more risky (or error prone) than heterosexuality, but both can be undertaken on an equally false basis. The falseness of the basis is clear in the accompanying fantasies. Homosexuality ALWAYS involves misperception of the self OR the partner, and generally both.
Penetration DOES NOT involve magic, nor DOES ANY form of sexual behavior. It IS a magic belief to engage in ANY form of body image activity at all. You neither created yourselves, nor controlled your creation. By introducing levels into your own perception, you opened the way for body-image distortions.
The lack of love (or faulty need-orientation) which led to your particular person (not OBJECT) choices CAN BE corrected within the existent framework, and would HAVE to be in the larger interest of overall progress. The situation is questionable largely because of its inherent vulnerability to fantasy-gratification. Doing the best you can WITHIN this limitation is probably the best corrective measure at present. Any relationship you have undertaken for whatever reasons becomes a responsibility.
If you shift your own needs, some amount of corresponding shift in the need-orientation of the other person MUST result, This will be beneficial, even if the partner was originally attracted to you BECAUSE of your disrespect. Teaching devices which are totally alien to a learner's perceptual system are usually merely disruptive. Transfer depends on SOME common elements in the new situation which are understandable in terms of the old.
Man can never control the effects of fear himself, because he has CREATED fear and believes in what he creates. In attitude, then, though not in content, he resembles his own Creator, who has perfect faith in His Creations because he Created them. All creation rests on belief, and the belief in the creation produces its existence. This is why it is possible for a man to believe what is not true for anyone else. It is true for him because it is made BY him.
Every aspect of fear proceeds from upside down perception. The TRULY creative devote their efforts to correcting this. The neurotic devotes his to compromise. The psychotic tries to escape by establishing the truth of his own errors. It is most difficult to free him by ordinary means, only because he is more stable in his denial of truth.
The miracle makes no distinction among degrees of misperception. It is a device for perception-correction which is effective quite apart from either the degree or the direction of the error. This is its TRUE indiscriminateness.
Christ-controlled miracles are selective only in that they are directed toward those who can use them for THEMSELVES. Since this makes it inevitable that they will extend them to others, a very strong chain of Atonement is welded. But Christ-control takes no account at all of the MAGNITUDE of the miracle itself, because the concept of size exists only in a plane that is itself unreal. Since the miracle aims at RESTORING reality, it would hardly be useful if it were bound by the laws of the same error it aims to correct. Only man makes that kind of error. It is an example of the "foolish consistency" his own false beliefs have engendered.
Both the power and the strength of man's creative will must be understood, before the real meaning of denial can be appreciated and abolished. Denial is NOT mere negation. It is a positive miscreation. While the miscreation is NECESSARILY believed in by its own creator, it does not exist at all at the level of true Creation.
The miracle compares the creations of man with the higher level of creation, accepting what is in ACCORD as true, and rejecting the DISCORDANT as false. This is why it is so closely associated with validity. Real validity is both true AND useful, or better, it is useful BECAUSE it is true.
All aspects of fear are untrue, because they DO NOT exist at the higher creative levels, and therefore do not exist at all. To whatever extent a man is willing to submit his beliefs to the real test of validity, to that extent are his perceptions healed (or corrected.)
In sorting out the false from the true, the miracle proceeds much along the lines suggested very correctly by Bill, i.e.:
If perfect love casts out fear,
And if fear exists,
Then there is NOT perfect love.
But
Only perfect love really exists.
Therefore, if there is fear, it creates a state which does not exist. Believe THIS and you WILL be free. Only God can establish this solution, for THIS faith IS His gift.