Every person is an equal member of the Sonship, meaning that everyone is your brother or sister. Everyone exists on an equal playing field, and the one "parent" is God.

This means that whether you are a parent or a child, and no matter the nature of the relationship between the two, everyone involved is still a brother or sister in the Sonship.

In order for this to express itself fully, it means that all relationships must end up where everyone is equal, no-one has power over anyone else, no-one is anyone else's property, no-one is controlling towards anyone else, no-one blames anyone else, no-one depends on anyone else, no-one expects anyone else to provide for them or decide for them, and no-one is more or less than anyone else.

This is the natural order of the family of God. We are all equals and all have the same inheritance. We all have the same parent and we're all identical in our true nature.

Typical chlidhood and parenting tends to lean much more towards inequality, control, protection, dependence, blame, manipulation and ownership. Those are not modes of relationship that are natural, and are rooted in the ego thought system.

When a child is born and begins to grow, they see themselves as completely dependent on the external world and on parents to supply their every need. And indeed the ego has set up this world so that it's practically impossible for a child to exist independently without starving to death. They have apparent "needs" and need help to survive. This doesn't mean the parents need necessarily own or control or be attached to them, but that's usually what happens.

Later, the child still believes they are dependent on the parent and that it is the parent's fault that so many things are the way they are. They will blame the parent, seeing them as causal, while at the same time attempting to break away from being under their thumb. "The thumb" is usually maintained far too long because the parents tend to form an identity around their role and don't want to let it go. They want to keep having the same relationship of parent to child, ie based in ownership, protection, control and so on. This generally works against the child becoming "independent" and an equal.

Often the case is that the child never really becomes an equal to the parent and there is a constant umbrella of control, dominance, shame and guilt under which the child remains, never breaking through to the light. The parent may not want to let go of the identity they've formed and it can be extremely painful to do so, especially if the raising of children has been the intense focus of their lives for many years and has entailed a great degree of self-sacrifice, leaving a gaping hole in their lives if the role were to end.

The child also will continue to blame the parents well into adulthood, because this is all part of the child's perception that they are a victim at the effect of the external world. They cannot really be independent until they have severed ties with their own ego identity, which means uncovering the true nature of themselves, healing all past hurts resulting from the dysfunctional relationships, and becoming aware of their true relationship to God.

It is, however, possible for the child to eventually stop projecting onto the parent and for the parent to stop projecting onto the child, and for both to give up on "specialness" which has kept the relationship strangled and suffocated in layers of denial and resistance and judgement. Special relationships can turn to holy relationship when forgiveness is used to undo the illusions of the relationship, which are many.

At some point it's possible for the child to become equal with the parent, which must also entail the recognition that the parent is a "temporary guide" who was there to help with lessons and adaptation to being in the world, but who ultimately is an equal brother/sister. Both child and parent are children of God, on exactly the same footing and terms. If the relationship between them can reflect holiness and forgiveness and equality then it has "matured" all the way that it can. If this doesn't happen, the fictional roles and dynamics of parent-child domination and submission will continue, and there will be further tension and conflict.

Acknowledging our equality in the Sonship requires acknowledging that God is the Creator/Father/Mother, and that what applies to oneself applies to all other people including our parents and children. When we go before God, we all go together and our relationship to God is direct, one to one for each of us, with no go-between.

We must learn to undo all of the illusions of the typical parent-child relationship, the entire social structure based on it, and learn that we are all equal under God. This could eventually result in a radically different kind of society, if this were understood and practiced on a mass scale. It need not be that children are property or that they are forced incessantly against their will to comply and obey, rather than being empowered and set free. It need not be that only two people are burdened with the entire upbringing of the children. We are all in this together.

(If you are willing).

You [insert fucker’s name], are not the cause of me. You are not causing me. You are my equal brother and God is the cause of both of us.

You have not done anything to me against my will. I am not the victim of you that I’ve come to believe you are. I have been using you to be my victimizer so that I can be upset as a victim and use you to project my sin. I wanted to make out you are the cause of me so that I can asuage my guilt and pretend to be innocent. I am the one who needs healing.

You have never done anything to me. You have never hurt me. You have never upset me. You are not the cause of anything I am feeling or experiencing. You have not put reactions in me. You have not changed me or made me upset in any way.

Everything I am experiencing, I have chosen for myself. All of my feelings are my own. Nothing has happened that I did not want. I have done this to myself.

You did not do anything to me, you cannot do anything to me, and you never will. All we can do is share love. Because you have not done anything to me, you did not cause anything that I am experiencing, which means you must be innocent. My upset isn’t even about you. You have nothing to do with what I am experiencing whatsoever.

I have not done anything to you. I am not the cause of you. I have not attacked you, hurt you, made you upset, changed you, caused reactions in you, damaged you or affected you in any way. I have not victimized you. You are not the victim of me.

Everything you are experiencing and feeling is your own stuff that you chose for yourself. I am not the source of any of your upset, confusion, hurt or problems. I have never caused you because God is your only cause. Therefore I must be innocent because I have not done anything to you.

We are both equally innocent. Neither of us has done anything to each other. There is no causality between brothers. You are not the cause of me. I am not the cause of you. Anything I am experiencing I must have chosen myself and done to myself.

No-one else has the power to do anything to either of us against our will. The power that I thought you had over me is my own power. The power that you thought I had over you is your own power. Neither of us has power over each other. I take back my power from you and give you back your own power to choose your own experience.

I am fully responsible for everything I am experiencing. You are fully responsible for everything you are experiencing. I can choose to experience something else and there is nothing you or anyone can do to stop this. You have not willed against me and I have not willed against you. We are both in accord with God’s will that we be forever equals in love and innocence.

I am not vulnerable to your attacks. Your attacks are your attempt to attack yourself. You are not vulnerable to my attacks. My attacks are my own attempt to attack myself. I can stop attacking myself and be happy. You can stop attacking yourself and be happy. We cannot and have not attacked each other.

I am completely free from your choice and you are free from mine. I am free from your wishes and intentions. I do not grant you the power to upset me. I do not displace my own power onto you. Nothing happens to me that I do not choose. Nothing happens to you that you do not choose. Neither of us is a victim. There are no victims. We have not victimized each other. I am not a victim of you. You are not a victim of me.

We are both innocent because neither of us has done anything to each other. We are both innocent because we are both still as God created us. Neither of us has sinned. I have not sinned against you. You have not sinned against me. We have not sinned against God. There is no sin. Nothing has happened.

We are both perfectly equal in God. We are both God’s children. We are both holy and innocent and forgiven. You are my equal brother and I am your equal brother. We are identical in God. We are one in love. There is no separation between us. I share everything with you as you share everything with me. We can both be at peace together and join in love as equals.

God loves us equally. I forgive you and love you. You forgive me and love me. We love everyone as ourselves. Love is all there is.