If I see myself as "being attacked" by someone, I am attacking.
If I see myself as "being victimized", I am victimizing.
If I see myself as afraid, I am threatening.
If I see myself as lacking, I am stealing.
If I see myself as judged, I am judging.
If I seem sick against my will, I have deliberately made myself sick in order to accuse others of causing it.
If I am dying and don't want to die, it's a great way to discard all of my power and give up on life, as if death is the total opposite of what I want when in fact I'm choosing it.
If I am feeling unsafe, I'm undermining someone.
If I'm trying to rely on myself, I'm trying to be unreliable.
If I see myself as guilty, I must believe it about others as well.
If I see myself as innocent, it can be that I have put my sin onto others and am in denial.
Always the surface appearance hides the exact opposite motive that lies underneath, because the ego is always two faced. Whatever it seeks to accomplish it accomplishes the exact opposite. Whatever it says its intentions are, they are a cover-story for a completely opposite plan.
No-one dies without their own consent. Death is chosen. Death is suicide. And death is an attempt to prove that you have no will or power to choose anything else, while simultaneously using all of your will and power to make death seem to happen in secret.
This is why death is *failing the Course.*
The idea of your persona is that it rejects everything you don't like, keeping only the good stuff.
If you get really good at using your persona, you will get really brutal at cutting out things which seem even remotely bad.
Eventually you'll be trying to be SO good and perfect, that there will be practically nothing left to relegate to your 'bad' category. Like you hear people saying, "nothing is ever good enough for them" - a sign of a lack of self acceptance.
And if that carries on, there will be nothing left to get rid of, you will cease to exist. Death.
So you can see, the persona, which seems all sweet and nice and special and important, glowing with a false innocence, is in fact the ego's wish to destroy you, piece by piece, by gradually stripping off more and more parts of you and relegating them to hell, in the pursuit of 'being a God'. And along the way it will complement you on how fantastic your 'good bits' are, even though your 'good bits' are soon to come under scrutiny.
The persona attacks everything that is contrary to what it wants to keep. And its eventual mission is the total removal of absolutely everything that could be conceived of as less than absolutely perfect. It thinks that by doing this, what you'll end up with is some kind of totally 'perfect self'. The perfect ego, a shining glory, the jewel in the crown.
It should be clear that the only ambition the ego really has is to get rid of you. The only purpose of the persona is to slice you up and separate you out and throw large chunks in the trash. What it keeps, it temporarily exalts like some kind of hero or savior or idol. But slowly it continues to find flaws in that idol, demanding even more vigorous 'purification' and sacrifice.
It says, well, if you give this up, and give that up, you'll be better off. It tells you you don't need all of what is, you only need the special good bits. But it doesn't tell you what happens if you take that to its ultimate goal. Keep going, and there will be nothing left of you. You'll live in a world where everything and everyone seems like your enemy, you are totally cut off and alone, depressed and frightened and weak, barely recognizing that you even exist, BUT .... drumroll... you'll have your perfect little fake self. Yay. And then you'll die alone.
So you can see... as you dabble even a little bit in being dishonest, inauthentic, not yourself, or trying to manipulate reality to get some kind of special value, special attention, special love... you're basically buying into a death trap. The temptation is you will indeed seem to get some special love, but.... it calls for a sacrifice. You've got to give up an arm and a leg for it. And then it's still not enough.
This is the promise the ego has for you. Go along with its plan for salvation, seem to achieve some kind of fake goal, or seem to find some kind of fake trophy, or seem to present yourself as some kind of ruler of the universe, and, in return, all of the rest of what you really are will be suppressed and attacked and gotten rid of.
Ultimately, the ego's perfectionism guarantees that NOTHING is acceptable. And sooner or later this will become apparent. Until you wake up and realize there has to be a better way.
You don't need a persona. You don't need an ego. You have God.
I had a dream once where this man was trying to do something bad to me or was threatening, so I ran off and went up this hill where I met this other man. This other man at first seemed to be offering to shelter me from the attacker and to protect me from him, but it soon transpired that this other man was in fact the same attacker in disguise. Even though he was putting on a show to make me believe I could run to him for safety, he was in fact the very person I was trying to get away from.
This is how the ego functions. The ego is two-faced. It will pretend to be your savior and your attacker at the same time. It will pretend to be trying to make your life better while simultaneously making it worse. It will tell you it knows how to help you be 'less of the bad stuff' and 'more of the good stuff', while reinforcing the bad stuff and secretly being your enemy. It will even act like your savior, advising you to get rid of the ego entirely, which it knows will keep and increase the ego by getting you to side WITH it AND AGAINST IT at the same time.
The ego is a representation of SELF ATTACK, since it is what you used to attack yourself. It therefore is made of self attack - attacking of self. It is against itself and for itself at the same time. It will happily attack itself while trying to protect itself. It will choose to hurt itself while at the same time enjoying being hurt (pain=pleasure). It will warn you against death while bringing it about. It will tell you to go in a certain direction while leading you down the wrong path. It will tell you you're doing the right or wrong thing while doing the opposite. It is completely contradictory in every way. In particular we fall for its messages because we tend to want to side with 'good or bad' or one or the other polarity of its madness. But we need to recognize that ALL of the ego is false. ALL of the ego is a lie and a deception. The ego is a two-faced liar.
Even this 'anti ego' ego message comes to you in part from the ego enjoying attacking itself.
Cryptic!
You can see this in stores, where people are standing looking at several shelves filled with basically the same product, wondering which one to pick. And this is also me ;-)
In ego metaphysical terms, what's happening is the ego presents a vast variety of FORMS, each of which presents the ILLUSION that these forms are unique and different. They distinguish themselves as being unrelated to and distinct from each other.
So instead of, you know, going to get the one headache pill, you go and have to wade through 5 different brands each of which has like 10 variations and subtleties, which you were not expecting.
So you enter into confusion. If it's true that these objects are unique and different, then this suggests a great degree of fragmentation. And in order to understand what you're faced with, your mind is going to be in so much conflict, trying to discern or balance the subtle differences as if they are important.
The more ego problems you are given, and the more they seem to present distinctly different options, the more you get lost in trying to find MEANING. Meaning only really comes from oneness, so the more fragmentation there is, the less sense it makes.
It's like being faced with a complicated puzzle, which your mind just doesn't know how to deal with. It scrambles your brain. You are completely befuddled trying to find 'clarity' or 'confidence' or 'certainty' in the face of so many conflicting viewpoints.
So commercialism, in this way, is the ego's way to get people to believe in separate problems. And the more options and choices and 'freedom of choice' there is, the LESS certain you become.
Stores are filled with thousands of brands, millions of products, all vying for attention, trying to prove to you that they are what you want and need, when you really need God. It is a huge ego distraction.
Commercialism and ever increasing choices builds up the ILLUSION that different forms have a different value, or different content. Like, exactly how many different varieties of something does anyone really need?
I work at a company that sells a certain type of product, and there are like over 30,000 products being sold, and honestly, for most people, you would've seen all the majorly 'unique' options within about 50 products.
Take a look at Amazon, millions upon millions of products. Each time I go on there, I can browse for ages and not find anything I want. I'm not too picky ;-)
Anyway, the whole point is, is not to get you to find exactly the perfect item that you really really want....it's to get you so conditioned to think that this is what you want that you end up NOT FINDING ANYTHING. It is another part of "seek and do not find".
"What is not love is murder.
"If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick."
We are either loving ourselves and others or we are attacking ourselves and others.
It's either love, or a call for love. But it can be difficult to recognize that someone's attack is a call for love. It does not seem to take the form of "please love me" or "I need love". Usually it takes the form of inciting counter-attack, laden with temptation and conflict.
Especially for example if someone is using your name, using attributing words like "you", pointing a physical finger, looking at you in a certain way, or doing something that seems to be affecting you. It all seems to be a way to attempt to say "its about you" or "its your fault" or that they are attacking YOU, not themselves.
Can you recognize that this is them expressing "I need more love because I'm lacking love", when everything they are expressing appears at first to be murderous and unloving? When they seem to present a picture of "I do not love you", which is the same as "I do not want love", how do you see it as a call to be loved?
It's fairly accurate to say that almost everyone on the planet is sick in the mind and body. And that isn't an overestimate.
Anyone who is not being completely loving is not in their right mind. Anyone attacking is not in their right mind. No-one in their right mind would do anything other than love, because they are one with you and to attack you would attack themselves. No sane person would ever treat anyone else in any way other than lovingly. So if someone is not being wholly loving, they are sick.
The problem with this sickness is that the person's mind is in denial, awareness is blocked, and they are unconscious, they don't realize what they are doing otherwise they wouldn't do it.
Only someone who is unaware of the consequences of their attack, an attempt to cause effects in someone else and not themselves, would proceed to do it. It's an attempt to get away with murder, which is the whole ego system of thought - that something is true of another that is different than what applies to you.
So now their mind is denying their own light, they have attacked themselves, they are guilty and sinful and afraid, and now they are acting out. Almost certainly they are projecting onto scapegoats and looking for a target to create an illusion of alleviating their suffering. To try to escape from the responsibility of owning what they are doing to themselves. And by being in denial they do not really seem to want help, though deep down they do.
So what is your role now? Faced with a world full of mentally-ill and physically expressive nut jobs, how do you respond? The Holy Spirit would have you respond with love at all times. He would say, well, these people, they are forgiveable because they literally are not aware of what they are doing. They are insane. No-one sane would act this way and no-one sane would attack a brother. So if they're doing that, they are insane and need help.
The only help that can work is to fix the problem. The problem is the person is blocking love and so seems to be lacking love. What they need therefore is love. Love is the only thing that can be supplied to correct the only thing that's lacking. If someone is not being loving they are believing in a lack or absence of love, and the presence or supply of this love is the only remedy. This is why expressions of love are miraculous and can cure.
So in a way we have to learn, to reframe everything we see happening, and all expressions coming from people. Either they are being christly and loving, in recognition that that is their real self, OR they are being unconscious, lost in the ego, lacking love, are mentally ill and need healing. Being in denial they DO NOT KNOW what they are doing and are mistaken.
If we can remember that people are "not being themselves", that they are "sick" and that they are not aware of what they are doing or why, and if we can remember that they WOULD NOT act this way if they were healed and whole, this makes it easier to not "hold it against them", take it personally, think of it as true or serious, and helps you to stay out of the ego response.
Really this is what forgiveness is about. Faced with an insane attacking ego-driven person, we need to OVERLOOK all of these appearances and remember the person's divinity, which is hidden behind their call for love, which is showing up as a call to be unloved. They seem to WANT to be attacked, they seem to WANT suffering, but this is only because they have rejected the very thing that would give them the sanity to make a wiser choice.
We have to laugh at people's insane behavior because it's not really true of them. This is part of realizing this is just a dream and the nutjobs it's populated with don't even know they are dreaming. No-one in their right mind would deliberately be unloving. Their lack of love is sickness that appears to ask for love to be withheld but is mistaken in that request. What they really want and need is love. And this love has to overlook and shine past all of these obstacles.
Not just for their benefit, but also to keep your own mind sane. Because if you yourself have stopped being loving and have slipped into reactions, counter attacks, taking it personally or seriously, being tempted or distracted to engage their ego, then you now also have joined the ranks of the insane and you yourself now need healing as well.
"You cannot enter into real relationship with any of God's Sons unless you are willing to love them all AND equally."
"Forgiveness recognizes that what you think you brother did has not OCCURRED."
"Only Atonement can be said to cure."
"There is no sin."
Perhaps one of the key features about the ego which many people do not realize, is that it is constantly attacking itself.
The ego IS the idea of self attack. It is the idea of you, attacking you. It is self destructive, which is why it leads to sabotage and suicide. It is just another word for your own will to will against your own will.
It would perhaps seem too insane to consider that the ego actually attacks itself on purpose, and this alone might deter you from even considering it. But the ego is not sane.
The ego is not like the kinds of people that you think are normal people. You think that due to separation, what one person does to another they do not do to themselves. You think that you can attack without consequences, or be attacked by another without them receiving the attack.
The ego's main plot here is the idea that, because you are separate from your brother, what applies to him does not apply to you. This allows both parties to get away with murder. Or appear to. And this creates an illusion in this world, as though it is "ego" to attack someone and get away with it.
But beware. This is a decoy!
If you fixate on this idea that one person does something to someone else, causing effects in them, without receiving the effects - which certainly APPEARS to be the case almost all the time due to separation, then you will not notice the ego's underlying insanity. You'll think that it makes total sense that something can apply to one person and not another, or that you can cause effects which you do not receive - ie giving and receiving at not one.
The ego's secret insanity is that it deliberately attacks itself, and it is NOT escaping the effects of the attacks it tries to cause, nor does it want to. It is both its own attacker and its own victim. It deliberately wants to hurt itself. It also seems to simultaneously want to get away from that hurt. It should be fairly obvious that it is completely insane, to the highest degree, for someone to want to intentionally harm themselves, consciously and deliberately, and to simultaneously enjoy and suffer doing so.
Anyone in their right mind would recognize that they are one with all brothers, and share a mind of oneness, and therefore what applies to you applies to everyone equally. In this mind of oneness it is impossible to cause or do anything without receiving the effects. It is therefore in your vested interest to share only love, that you will receive only love. But when you enter into the ego and attempt to give without receiving (which is attack), you can be sure you will experience attack.
The ego is clever at making cause and effect unconscious. It makes it SEEM as if attacking another will not attack yourself. But the ego is fundamentally insane. It IS the idea of self attack, and so attacks itself on purpose. It would sacrifice itself in the name of saving itself. It is constantly two-faced. You think that normal people have "one face" or one personality or one side to them.
The insane ego is never one-sided, it is always contradictory, hipocritical, self denying, a liar, a cheat, manipulative, and it is even capable of showing up as "good cop" and "bad cop" simultaneously.
I had a dream once where some creepy man was trying to get to me, and so I ran to escape and I did escape, and met another man on a hill who appeared at first to be helpful and welcoming. It seemed like he would help me to be safe. But what quickly became apparent, was that in fact this man was the same "person" as the other man - as if he was the same man in disguise. He was both of them. And so the ego's two-faced secret was revealed, that it is perfectly capable of playing the part of victim and victimizer, attacker and savior, enemy and hero, or any other polarities which makes it SEEM as if they are two completely unrelated separate things.
The ego's illusions are ALWAYS geared towards getting you to believe that one kind of illusion is better than another. That one way of behaving or less evil than another. That something will actually help you without hurting you. That a solution will work without any side effects. It's always bullshit. The ego is fundamentally insane and so always has in its back pocket some kind of "clause" or excuse or secret that disguises the fact that it has NO intention of making its solutions work, and it has NO interest in being truly helpful, because ALL of its sides and solutions take you away from wholeness.
We have to be careful to discern and listen and recognize, that both positive and negative are part of the ego thought system. Both good and bad, right and wrong, all opposites. The ego plays both sides of every argument and does not care who sins. It will happily fund every war and conflict on both sides just for the sake of increasing the conflict. It is fundamentally existing in a state of self conflict and being divided against itself, thwarting its own moves, willing against its own will etc.
This is why we have to learn that "this world holds nothing that I want"... because everything it offers, the "good" and the "bad", are both ego deceptions designed to get you to take a side and fall for one of two of its traps. It does not care one shit about which side you take or whether you go light or dark or right or wrong, so long as you fall for the trap of believing that one of two choices is better than the other and will save you. There is no salvation in the ego. All of its roads lead to hell.
I've recently been 'God bathing' ... But I don't quite have a tan yet.
Actually it's not as simple as just getting into my swimsuit and laying in the light. There's a slight problem. Part of me does not want it.
The interesting thing is, though, that as I attempt to expose myself to God's love - by which I mean, to actually accept the *experience* of it - to let it in and allow it - it shines a light on the parts of me that need healing.
These are the parts that I can tell feel like... They are not worthy, they are not good enough, they are guilty, they believe something is going to be taken away or lost, that hold grievances, that feel alone and separate and forgotten, etc... All of this 'me', this ego me, who I think I am right now, that when you really get down to it, when faced with 'the truth' (God), experiences itself as unwanted and lost.
It's not easy to be aware that this is in me and that it needs healing. But part of the 'God bathing' is that I become at least a little bit willing to let some love soak in. I let it come a bit closer. I let it seep in around the foundations of my 'self hate', and loosen it up a bit. It's like being surrounded with a healing balm, or getting a hug.
That resistant ego part of me still doesn't believe that God could love me...and it always has this sense of ...'because'... There is a reason... Because of what I did... Guilt.
Hopefully if I can release and let of enough blocks and resistances and beliefs in guilt, I can at least let myself realize, if for just a moment, that actually everything is going to be okay. I can be loved, I can be healed and forgiven, and I actually do deserve God's unconditional love.
And then little glimpses or feelings of optimism start to creep in, little awarenesses of... maybe it's true. Maybe I don't have to be this way. Maybe I don't have to stay separate and guilty. Maybe I don't have to die. Because what is this really all about but the secret death wish that we all have, believing we cannot be with God/Life ever again. My thought last night was, maybe I actually don't have to die. And that was a relief. "Thank God"... For sure.
Learning to allow and accept what God is.... Surrendering what I am not.
A powerful sentence came to me which felt great to repeat several times. "I am the Son of God. I am completely innocent."
ahhhhh. Now there is a slight tan.
Lately when I read ACIM talking about time, I have a different impression of it. There's because there's "physical" time and "psychological" time, like two layers.
In some parts we're told basically that as soon as the current moment is done, it is gone. That whatever is "here and now" in the physical sense, is all that there remains. Prior configurations, previous states, stuff that seemed to happen before, it's all over the instant it happens. This "physical time", part of spacetime, is a constantly evolving changing world of form.
Then in other parts Jesus talks more about a kind of psychological time. This psychological time is an interpretation of what's happening, in which you can either be very present with whatever is physically here now, or you can be somewhat distanced from it by focusing on beliefs and memories about stuff from "the past".
In our minds we have sort of invented an idea of the past, in which we keep holding onto stuff which is already gone. So the physical "time" of spacetime seems to march onward, in which the states of material objects are gone forever and have been replaced, and in which only the current stuff you are faced with now is all that's left. And then there's an overlay of psychological perception and use of the world, which can be deeply invested in things that have gone by, or present here now.
When the mind is much more present with what it is faced with here and now, it is closer to what seems to be called a "holy instant", or in effect, moments of the current configuration of the world which are squarely focused on the present here and now, seen without looking toward the past or future.
An instant of spacetime, a moment of happenings, present events and arrangements of objects etc, as though keeping pace with it and always focusing on what is current. Jesus seems to call this immediacy of and use of "time", ie being in the present or "now", a string of holy instants. As Jesus says "now is the only time." But of course, in spacetime, the forms constantly change still. But as soon a their state changes, the old state is gone forever.
But if your mind is heavily preoccupied with the past and future, this takes you away from the present. In particular if you believe that someone attacked you at some point in time, and you have not forgiven this, and are holding onto it, you have a grievance which anchors your mind in the past and focuses you on what is not happening anymore.
You can only have grievances based on things that happened in the past. Someone "doing something to you" immediately becomes past-tense, and now you recall it like a wound that keeps reminding you of something that is already over and gone. You won't let it go, so you keep pulling it back up from what seems like a psychological past, to relive it, regurgitating it and trying to keep it going, not letting go of what has already gone.
Without a psychological past it is impossible to retain grievances of any kind because you can only be upset about what someone "did", which is always past tense the instant that is has happened. Without a past you cannot have any unforgiveness.
And as Jesus leads off in the workbook, with "I see only the past", he's talking about how we are so heavily attached to things that happened "before" that we haven't accepted as "gone", that we are living in a kind of haze of hypnotic memory and recall, dwelling on things which are not here anymore.
And because of this, we filter the "present" configuration of the world through a lens of history, of unforgiven grievances, of resistance to God's presence, which causes us to not see anything "as it is now".
There can only be grief over things which once were seemingly here, which have gone, such as physical bodies, and the unwillingness to truly accept that they are not here now. To let go of the past is to let go of lost treasures and special relationships which are over already. We just struggle with the fact of their extinction, because the very instant that they are gone, they are gone.
As we move toward God, who is always present and lives only in the eternal "here and now" or "always and forever", we must move our psyche out of the past and into the present. Not that we're trying to make the world out to be real or anything, because its forms will still change and shift as they always do in illusions. But we are at least trying to get a look at the world through present-tense eyes which are clean and new and forgiving and which are not projecting past sins or ancient hatreds onto it.
Thus "in time", or at least, in the progression of change of form, our view of that form can come from a more centred and present frame of reference, which is a holier state and closer to God. The present "now" of time is symbolic of eternity and it is where we can most fully connect with God. Being "in the past", mentally, is an attempt to create "more spacetime" ie more distance and more delay between us and God, and between us and reality.
So there's a kind of physical spacetime, and there is also a kind of psychological spacetime. When the psychological spacetime completely lets go of the past and future, and becomes fully present, it looks upon the physical spacetime with fresh loving eyes, which do not not use past happenings as condemnations, and does not look to the the past for truth.
Then once the forgiven world is seen and looked past with this present light, we are close enough to "what really is" that we can transcend and overlook the world, and move on to our home in God. God is always here and now, and has always been here and now, and will always be here and now. It is only your mind that has wandered off into a movement away from what remains.
"Release the future. For the past is gone, and what is present, freed from its bequest of grief and misery, of pain and loss, becomes the instant in which time escapes the bondage of illusions where it runs its pitiless, inevitable course. Then is each instant, which was slave to time, transformed into a holy instant when the light that was kept hidden in God's Son is freed to bless the world. Now is he free, and all his glory shines upon a world made free with him, to share his holiness."
"Judgment ALWAYS rests on the past, for PAST experience is the basis on which you judge. Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for WITHOUT it you do NOT understand anything. You would make no ATTEMPT to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not know WHAT ANYTHING MEANS. You are afraid of this, because you believe that, WITHOUT THE EGO, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that, without the ego, ALL WOULD BE LOVE."
"The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love."
"When your peace is threatened, or disturbed in ANY way, say to yourself, "I do not know what anything, INCLUDING THIS, means. And so I do NOT know HOW TO RESPOND TO IT. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now." By this refusal to attempt to teach yourself what you do not know, the Guide Whom God has given you, will speak to you. HE will take His rightful place in your awareness, the instant YOU abandon it, and offer it to Him."
ACIM says "anger is never justified". This is big news for anyone who is used to feeling justified in being angry about anything.
There is a culture in this world is believing it is 'normal' and 'healthy' to be angry. When various 'bad things' happen, it seems very commonplace to react with anger. You might even be outraged. It may appear to you that you're completely right to feel that way.
Perhaps. Perhaps not. Anger may acknowledge what you perceive has happened unfairly, but it betrays the fact your perception is faulty and in need of correction.
It is so widely accepted (by everyone's egos) that anger is a normal, justified reaction, that to say it is anything but justified seems like complete nonsense.
What if we were to say, anger is a state of insanity? What if anger is a mindless attempt to blame someone else for your own self condemnation? What if anger is deception? What if anger has a secret agenda of shoveling your own giult onto other people whenever anything conveniently goes wrong or looks like it could be used to justify being angry at yourself?
When anger is justified, the world is at war. There is no side you can take in anger to be at peace. And then your life will be filled with things which you get angry about. Every angry reaction is another instance of you believing that whatever happened is justified in happening, in spite of the fact that you're attempting to use it to explain why it shouldn't have happened.
It is extremely common to react in anger. It seems so commonplace and so 'normal' that most people accept it as some kind of 'normal psychology' or a 'healthy anger' or a healthy way to process what is wrong with the world. This is far from truth. It's a myth perpetuated by a very deeply ingrained ego thought system which runs through every society on the planet.
The only way anger is justified is IF .... IF.... this world is real. IF what happens is real. IF someone is really hurt. IF someone has actually proved that we are separate from God. IF we actually are not responsible for what happens to us. IF everyone else is guilty except ourselves. Only then would anger be justified. But that doesn't mean it is sane.
We have to lift all of humanity out of the bogmire of unconscious reactions based in the ego, reactions of anger which really are reactions of agreement and victimhood. We need to be more honest with ourselves and own up to and heal the real reason for our anger - that we are angry at ourselves for leaving God. Until this is faced, it will seem like 'normal culture' to get angry and upset about everything in the world.
"Anger is never justified" - ACIM - Anger is never justified because there is never any REASON to be angry because there IS ONLY LOVE.
When you believe that something outside of you is the cause of your problem or upset, your mind's perception will start to experience yourself as though part of your being has 'opened up' to the other person, has exposed itself to them, is connected to them and vulnerable to them.
It feels then as if that person is directly putting your upset feelings into you. It's as though you opened an energetic doorway and merged with the other person's ego, allowing them to enter your inner space, giving them permission and access to actually 'cause you' to change - i.e. to become an upset victim.
You may not realize you do this, each time you are upset about someone or something, but you do. You are so used to it that you think it is normal. Your experience internally, of how you feel, in relation to some attacking/wrongful person, is that your insides have opened outward like a 'wound', you feel exposed, you see the other person as 'doing stuff to you', and you literally will feel like they actually are 'accessing' you - that you're in the midst of an open-air battle.
The way you can realize this is to take back responsibility for everything you are experiencing. Own your feelings. Admit that you feel the way you feel because these are YOUR feelings that YOU have chosen to feel, for absolutely no particular reason. And you have to admit that the way you feel has NOTHING to do with the other person at all. This locating of your responsibility in and around your feelings, essentially causes you to have a perceptual shift.
You now will see yourself as NOT being caused by the other person, therefore you are not a victim, and therefore what you are feeling has NOT been caused by them. These are your own experiences. And in a way, this 'detachment' puts SPACE between you and the other person's ego or whatever the illusion is that you're faced with. This will in a way act as a protective barrier or wall, sealing you in, making you experience yourself as secure and Invulnerable, NOT exposed, and that the FEELING ITSELF that you're experiencing is not BASED ON what the other person is doing.
When your feeling is not based on some external cause, then there is no FOUNDATION for it. Without a foundation, it has no cause, and IT MUST DISAPPEAR. So... taking full responsibility for everything you feel and experience, paradoxically, FREES YOU from all upsetting and negative experiences, because there is no foundation for any kind of harm or negativity when you are BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF. When you are being the LOVE that you are, you are invulnerable. When you are not being the love that you are, you become susceptible and exposed and a victim that is sure to be hurt. You don't want that. It's much better to not be upset and vulnerable.
Perfect immortality and complete invulnerability and protection and un-assailability of the Kingdom are all your natural inheritance if you will claim ownership of it.