Last night I used the below process, but in a different way. I did it VERY slowly. I re-stated each phrase several times over and really let it sink in before moving on to the next one. I actually found this to be quite powerful.

For example, in saying that I decided wrongly.. when I really dwell on that I come to realize that I actually DECIDED and I get in touch with that sense of responsibility and decision-making at having been the one who not only put in place this upset, but actually chose it myself.

There is tremendous power in getting in touch with your power of decision. Your decision making is not just a neutral act, it has power to it. It is causal. And I've also started to dabble in the idea of... .instead of just reacting to stuff and going along with it, instead, stopping and DECIDING... "I am" or "I am not" .... and feeling a kind of instantaneous change simply by making a firm decision.

I also inquired about the last sentence... letting Him decide for God for me. Jesus clarified that this really means allowing Holy Spirit to 'favor' or 'choose FOR rather than AGAINST' God, on my behalf. Allowing Him to favor God and to then accept His viewpoint. In this way, "for God" really means "towards God" or "in agreement with God". That made more sense to me.

"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace.

I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.

I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace.

I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM.

I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me."

It's also quite important to keep in mind the statement Jesus makes just prior to this prayer:

"But let me first remind you of something I told you myself. Whenever you are not wholly joyous, it is because you have reacted with a lack of love to some Soul which God created. Perceiving this as sin, you become defensive because you EXPECT ATTACK. The decision to react in that way, however, was YOURS, and can therefore be undone. It CANNOT be undone by repentance in the usual sense, because this implies guilt. If you allow yourself to feel guilty, you will reinforce the error, rather than allowing it to be undone FOR you.

Decisions CANNOT be difficult. This is obvious if you realize that you must ALREADY have made a decision NOT to be wholly joyous if that is what you feel. Therefore, the first step in the undoing is to recognize that YOU ACTIVELY DECIDED WRONGLY, BUT CAN AS ACTIVELY DECIDE OTHERWISE.

Be very firm with yourselves in this, and keep yourselves fully aware of the fact that the UNDOING process, which does NOT come from you, is nevertheless WITHIN you because God placed it there. YOUR part is merely to return your thinking to the point at which the error was made, and give it over to the Atonement in peace. Say to yourselves the following, as sincerely as you can, remembering that the Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation:"

In the course, Jesus says that decisions are constant. You don't make a decision as though it's one point in time, and then move on with life as though you are no longer deciding. You don't 'choose' something and then proceed as if the choosing is in the past.

You are always choosing.

And that also means, if something seems to 'happen' that seems to 'cause' something such as a sickness or bodily issue etc, that's a decision too... and if that sickness STAYS, or if that condition CONTINUES, it is because there is still an ongoing decision being made.

In other words, decisions are based on whether or not you CHANGE YOUR MIND. If you 'set' your mind (choose), and then you leave it set that way, it will constantly remain in that 'mode' until you change it to something else. That is constant decision. You are constantly sided with or in favor of something, until you change your belief.

Therefore your belief is what your decisions are made of. You set a belief and forget it, but it keeps on running your life. You can set these decisions in early childhood - "I'm not worthy" or whatever... and then you keep it, and it keeps on producing results, over and over and over and over again, until you change your mind. Because it's a constant decision.

God has one law. It is very simple.

God can only create in his own likeness. He doesn't know anything else. He creates beings - sons or souls - who are all identical to Him, and therefore are identical to each other. What applies to each one of them, applies to all of them equally. What is true of one, can be said to be exactly true of all of them.

This sets up "The Golden Rule", which is the primary law of God's creation, that everything applies the same to everyone, everywhere, at all times. The law simply states that what applies to you applies exactly the same to all brothers.

This law is always in effect. It is permanent. You cannot escape it. The law is in effect whether you like it or not. The law is in effect regardless of whether you are awake or asleep, aware of Heaven or suffering in the dream of spacetime. The law is the truth.

Our friend "the ego" is nothing other than the attempt to DENY that the law is in effect. It is an attempt to be outside of the law. The ego is nothing other than the belief that something DIFFERENT applies to one son versus another.

If the law of God means UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, since all sons are loved equally, then the ego means CONDITIONAL LOVE or "special favor", in which some sons are to be treated differently and unequally from others. Special love is a lack of love and so the ego is a thought system of lacking equality and unconditionality.

When you are trying to be "in the ego", you are in denial of the law. That doesn't mean the law stops applying. Denying that it always applies is suicidal. What happens when you try to operate outside of the law is that you will hurt yourself. You will believe that you can do something to others that you yourself escape the consequences of, and yet you will not escape those consequences.

When you do not treat your brother as a perfect identical equal, you will think you can get away with murder by getting away with attacking them and avoiding the effects. But you will not escape the effects. What you attempt to do to him you WILL do to yourself, because the law is always functioning. You cannot attack without being attacked. You cannot treat someone in a special way without withdrawing from love. You cannot attempt to hurt without hurting yourself.

The Golden Rule - the one law of God - also applies in the dream in terms of bodies, sickness, and death. The Course teaches clearly that if you show your brother a physical body which is sick, you are accusing him of sin and are attacking both of you. When you use the body for attack it becomes attacked and weak and sick and dead. This is a consequence of denying the law of God.

Simply, what applies to you always applies to others. So when you go into attack, attack is the idea that you can be different to others and have special treatment. This differences drives a wedge of separation between you and your brother and attempts to assert that what applies to them does not apply to you, or that you can attack without being attacked. This is the basis of all projection, where you try to project blame onto another as if to say "that is true of you, but not true of me".

When you do this, you are in denial of the law, and the law is still functioning, and so you will experience a split mind and are attacking yourself. You cannot cause your brother to be treated separately without treating yourself separately. Separation comes BETWEEN you. The body comes BETWEEN you as a separation device. You cannot have something apply only to him and not yourself.

Sick bodies are accusers. When you try to make your body sick you are accusing your brother of sin. That means that in your attempt to "make plans for him" you inevitably end up hurting yourself. You cannot accuse him of attack without being attacked. And so as you try to make out that your brother is a sinner, you are accusing yourself. It applies to you as it applies to him. And this hurts you. You will experience the consequences. It seems to be to an unfair consequence or something you did not want, but you literally did it to yourself. Whatever you try to do to another, you WILL do to yourself.

The Golden Rule also works in your FAVOR when you comply with it and recognize it and work WITH it. Recognizing it is the secret to salvation. That means you must be willing to have the truth be the same for everyone, all are treated equal and no-one is special. And that means moving into unconditional love. Here, the Golden Rule actually supports you and helps you, because it ensures that giving and receiving are one, therefore as you treat others with love you receive love. As you give miracles, you receive miracles.

When you acknowledge the law is in effect and you COMPLY with it, it ensures that you will be treated with unconditional love, that you will have access to sharing the entire treasure of God's creation, and that you will recognize your brother as your identical equal. "Healing is a thought in which two minds perceive their oneness and become glad". This means that the two minds recognize the law, know it to be true, see that they are identical children of God, and celebrate their equality.

A Course in Miracles is entirely based around this law. All of its concepts about how what you do to others you to do yourself, how giving and receiving are one, how you attack the body, how you become sick, how you must demonstrate a BODY THAT IS FREE FROM ATTACK, and how you must overcome death, is all based on the law of God - the Golden Rule. This is why Jesus says that either everything lives or everything is dead.

When the rule applies and you acknowledge equality, you are recognizing that anything God creates must be like him, and since He is life, everything He creates must live. And that means ALL that He creates is alive forever. And in this acknowledgement you are acknowledging that YOU are alive and cannot die, any more than anyone else can. Acknowledging life is the resurrection and in the resurrection the curriculum ends, because it's there, in the atonement, that you acknowledge and receive the unconditional love that comes from ALIGNING with the law of God. Accepting the truth.

When you comply with the law, everything is peaceful in Heaven. When you oppose the law, you make yourself suffer. Denying the law is ego and is suicide. Accepting the law is heavenly and protects you perfectly in eternal life.

Honesty is the basic machinery of awakening. It means you have a willingness to accept what is true regardless of whether it suits your ego or makes you look good. It means putting the truth before your own personal position, and being willing to be seen in its light.

All parts of any forgiveness process entail honesty. You have to be honest to admit to and discern what is true and what is false. You have to be honest with yourself in accepting responsibility for having chosen everything you are experiencing. And it takes a lot of honesty to admit that you are not being victimized by anyone but yourself.

So honesty is really all about putting aside all of the ego pursuits, perspectives, and self-serving and face-saving attitudes, which are really all *lies*, and owning up to what's really going on. It's a matter of owning up to what is real rather than what you want to make of the situation.

Honestly also requires us to surrender every ego activity that we're using to try to win favor or defend ourselves or make ourselves look better. It means being what you really are, admitting to what really is, and accepting reality without you changing it.

Honesty is the best policy, because it is sanity. It is awakening. It is awareness of truth. It is allowing and accepting God's nature and presence. Sometimes it will take for you to really examine what you're doing and why and to have a 'little willingness' to admit the ways that you're mistaken or are trying to deceive. So really it all boils down to... is it really true... is it really factually real and true as in Holy Spirit's truth.... or is it false.

Honesty is the truth. Dishonesty is the lies.

So if we're to wake up to God and truth and reality, we're going to have to be really really really really really completely willingly honest at all times. Otherwise we're kidding ourselves, and fooling ourselves, and deceiving ourselves, and then we are the ones who end up suffering.

In all honesty, we are still as God created us. It we are willing to completely admit and accept that, it's game over for the ego.

Honesty gives you access to the truth which sets you free.

I think a lot of people have a belief that they are 'supposed' to suffer.

When an opportunity for healing is presented, unconditionally, with no strings attached, we actually recoil a bit in suspicion that we're not 'supposed' to be free of the suffering.

We believe the sickness is honorable, truthful, justified and deserved, and we defend it, and would even feel guilty for throwing all that away in favor of instant healing. How dare you heal someone when they're in the middle of good bit of suffering?! They were really getting into it ;-)

It seems 'too easy' that God would just come along and take away any degree of sickness instantly, as if, that's not allowed. Or it's breaking some kind of rules. Or some kind of 'agreement' that we all seem to have about how the common level of 'mutual suffering' is agreed upon and normal.

How dare you step out of the ego and be healed with no repercussions, throwing all guilt aside and claiming innocence. Blasphemy!

I noticed this in my path where I felt like some kind of 'rightness' in taking the very-longwinded suffering route through forgiveness, like, I was not supposed to skip any steps, was not supposed to just 'jump to innocence'.

I had to go 'through' and handle and spend time with all this guilt and fear like, it was not 'correct' (with the Course) to move on from it quickly without having 'properly suffered' first.

The ego says, you must ATONE on its terms, first, before you are 'allowed' to move on. You must atone by suffering and sacrifice and punishment, in hell. If you haven't suffered enough, it's wrong to seek healing.

Even if I were able to access healing quickly, some part of me believed I was meant to suffer for a long time and make sure to thoroughly look at every fault, and really beat it to death, just to make sure that I am really really really prepared to then start to heal it.

Silly nonsense. How can guilt and suffering be justified?

What about healing right now, full and complete, as an unconditional gift of love from God? Do we deserve it? Do we want it? Why don't we want it? Why do we believe we are supposed to suffer, right to suffer, meant to suffer, doing a service to God by suffering, carrying out God's will by suffering, going along with society by suffering, being aligned to truth by suffering, and being honest by suffering?

lol, you have to laugh.

Miracles are available right now.

Belief is an artificial tool that we use in place of knowledge. Belief attempts to establish something as true. Belief is a concentration or focus, a separated off state, in which that which has been "accepted as true" is allowed into the mind to be experienced as desirable, while that which is "outside" of that box is experienced as unwanted, wrong, false, to be rejected.

So then once we're in belief, we have a bias. We will only seem to accept a certain portion of the world, while rejecting the rest. And we'll then use this belief as a barometer for "reality testing" to determine whether things line up with it or not. If they seem to be in the category of acceptable or complementary, they are accepted as true. If they seem contradictory or outside the belief, they are considered false.

The problem with this isn't so much how beliefs work but that we actually use belief to believe things which, in the big picture, are simply not true. We side with lies, buy into illusions, take on beliefs and models and concepts which are incorrect, and then defend them to the death believing they are correct. But this then blinds us to the actual truth.

When we encounter the real truth, holding onto false beliefs, we're going to reject it and see it as wrong, false, evil and attacking. Unwanted and incorrect. Our allegiance to our belief will act like a defense mechanism, shutting out what we deem to be incorrect. But what we're shutting out can often be what is actually true, and now our belief is actually hurting us and keeping us away from the truth, all the while under the guise of having no reason to suspect it is flawed.

Particularly when we are confronted with something which is true, but which we don't believe in, we will simply deny it. It doesn't matter how clear it is, how true it is, how obvious it is, how much sense it makes, how reasonable it is, or anything else. Due to the fact we have this distortion in the mind steering us away from and towards some other truth, we'll keep defending our existing position against this new idea. And we'll see it as threatening and wrong.

The ego is doing this all the time. It's a belief system based on lies and denial of the real truth. So as we have these chunks of bullshit in our mind, which we believe are totally true and we are convinced of them, perhaps having spent a lifetime supporting and bolstering them, we will not be ABLE to WILLING to accept a larger truth WITHOUT letting go of the old belief.

Wrong beliefs HAVE to be questioned and recognized as being mistaken, before you will be willing to let them go in favor or something else. You won't be able to accept into your mind, what seems to be a truth which contradicts what you believe, unless you are ready and willing to let go of what you used to believe.

Your old belief will nag at you, tug at you, remind you of itself. It will pop up into conscious awareness asserting itself and saying "but what about xyz". It will try to continue to get your attention and keep your allegiance to it, because now as you threaten to abandon it it's going to come out of the shadows and be up for examination. It's like a little part of your mind, that's committed to this belief, worried that you are letting "it" go in favor or some other truth.

You can't accept the real truth WITHOUT letting go of false beliefs. The false beliefs will pull you away, make you doubt the truth, make you feel like you can't trust it, that there's something wrong with it even if you don't know what it is. False beliefs makes you suspicious of the real truth. Beliefs distort your perception and actually make things appear to be "wrong" even if they're not. They act as a filter and a magnet.

You could be presented with reality at all times. You could be surrounded with love at all times. You could be in heaven right now. You could be in the real world. You could be faced with the simple truth that nothing real can be threatened and the world is not real. But you will not see it, acknowledge it, accept it, or allow it to be true for you, thus welcomed, without your willingness to recognize it as correct. And the reason you don't believe it's true is because you believe SOMETHING ELSE which contradicts it.

So what you'll find happening is that very often as we come to the course, there are things the course says which are true, but which you do not believe. You will be presented with these things and will deny them. You will be like, no, that's not true. Even if it is explicitly spelled out, you will say "i don't believe that". You will hold up models and concepts that other teachers have come up with that are wrong, and believe them MORE than you will believe what the course is saying. You'll take your own conviction in your own rightfulness over Jesus's authority. And you'll reject the atonement on this basis.

Our false believing, our mistakenness, our confusion, our siding with things which are not true believing they are, all needs to be corrected. The mind's acceptance of what is true has to be brought in line with God's established truth, which you have NO SAY IN. You can only accept it as is, or reject it. But in order to reject it you're going to have to come up with a belief, which makes you feel that something ELSE is true. And that therefore, God's truth is not true.

All beliefs pointing away from what the course says verbatim must be mistaken. It does not matter who came up with them, who taught them, how convincing they are, or how many people believe it. If it says something that the course DOES NOT SAY, it is wrong and is taking you away from the truth. If you believe something that explicit statements oppose, it is wrong and needs correction. And so we have to learn to be willing to put Jesus's truth above that of ourselves, other teachers, and anyone's opinion, if we are to listen and truly learn what it is trying to tell us.

We have to throw out all false models and concepts and all archaic interpretaitons. We especially need to beware of taking an interpretation over facts. If we want God's truth, we need to learn what it is, recognizing we do not know.

You can either be selfish, or you can share. The entire separation from God is about becoming selfish. The atonement is entirely about learning how to share again. The entire problem in this world is that everyone is selfish, and we all need to learn to stop being selfish.

The ego is entirely the idea of being selfish. That means trying to be exclusive, to get only what you want, self-interest, denying and rejecting others, separating off, being autonomous, identifying with the body, believing you are special, relating to others through specialness, having a sense of neediness and lack, etc.

When we were in heaven before "the fall of man", the separation, we were all sharing everything. Everyone had everything, all the brothers in the sonship overlapped with each other and enjoyed being one. We were part of each other.

Everyone had simultaneous access to absolutely everything all at once without any sense of limits or greed or compromise or lack or finite amounts or special favor or favoritism or anything that could suggest inequality.

We already each had a self, a soul, which shared everything with all. But in the separation we each decided that we didn't want to share anymore. We wanted special favor from God, we wanted to have something exclusively our own, we wanted to regard ourselves as more important, we sought to become orphaned and to have our own world and our own separate something.

In essence we became selfish. We sought to think only of our own interests and not shared interests. We wanted a separate will and to make choices and to be tyrannical and get whatever we wanted in competition with everyone else. We wanted it all, but we didn't want anyone else to have it all. We became like little islands, cut off from each other and alone and concerned only with ourselves.

So now selfishness is really the entire problem. We have forgotten how to share and be one. We have become expert in various ways of being selfish little children. We see ourselves as lacking and lost and alone, and desperately in need.

This neediness fuels all kinds of manipulative special relationships, puts terms and conditions on love, seeks to get something to profit from everything, and is always thinking of what it means to me or what it does to me. Whether I stand to profit or lose. Relationships turn into bargaining transactions and covert exploitation. And all of our experiences of what happens revolves around me me me.

Ego is nothing more than this idea of being selfish, ie of not sharing. The mind sees itself as cut off and separate, isolated in a body, excluding the whole from its little patch of existence. In our selfishness we grovel in the dark for scraps and are in a kind of survival mode, desperate to get more and searching everywhere for what we've lost.

So the real issue is very close to home, because it's not really about the world or about what other people are doing to you. It's not about the body. It's about you being selfish. And that selfishness goes to the very "core" of the ego and the core of your sense of who and what you are. It's YOU that is the problem in your life. It's your sense of me me me me me that drives the entire ego thought system.

Your selfishness is the cause of all your suffering. It is the cause of all broken relationships, broken communication, loss and grief, all hurt and despair, all desperation and fear and neediness, all offense and defence and justifications for anger and attack. It all revolves around me me me, what they did or didn't do to me, what's happening to me without my permission, what I'm lacking, how I'm put out, what someone's taken from me. Me versus the world.

It's hard to look at because it's very much rooted deep inside you. This selfishness is right at the core of your sense of self, the ego self that your mind as identified with and as. It's you being selfish that's the problem, your desire not to share, your desire to have everything and lose nothing, your competition with everyone, your self interest and tyrannical disregard for the interests of others.

You being selfish is the cause of all your suffering. That includes grief and loss, sickness and death, loneliness and isolation, pain and misery, unhappiness and sadness, all of it revolves around this idea of.... there's a me that is like a forgotten lost little child crying alone in the desert... that just wants to get what it wants and doesn't care about anyone or anything else. That's where the problem is and that's what has to be undone if you want to return to heaven.

This is why in the course Jesus's is basically teaching us to SHARE again. That means opening up the sense of self to be more inclusive of others, joining with others in love and openness, developing trust again, overcoming boundaries, transcending limits, allowing yourself to receive love, extending the mind, etc, it' all about you coming out of your ego shell, out of your prison, out of your body, out of your separateness and rejoining the sonship in a holy communion of love and sharing and oneness.

In truth we need to learn to have a self that is whole. A self that includes the whole sonship. A self that is united and one. And this same self, the soul, is full of self, full of the identity of wholeness/Christ. And being full of this shared self is not at all selfish.

When someone is "full of themselves" it means that they are full of ONLY themselves and NOT of others. They lack the sharing and oneness. In their arrogance they reject everyone and think highly of themselves as more important and special. And so the ego counsels to not think of yourself at all otherwise you are selfish, while simultaneously thinking only of itself. And this leads to self-sacrifice which is martyrdom or greed, and not spiritual.

But you have to include yourself in everything if you want to be selfless, which means you are equal and a part of what is shared. And being selfless does NOT mean that you do not have a self, it means you actually have MORE self, because your self is shared with everyone and you are a whole self. It just means not being exclusively ONLY yourself. To be truly selfless is to gain the selves of everyone and to not be self-ish.

To be your true self is to be all self, one with all selves, and one with God. To know yourself as God created you is to know that you are the entire Kingdom of Heaven. And yet you are still you, yet you are all. To have the all you give the all to the all. That is sharing and extension per God's will and design. You can only be yourself by being everyone. Only when others are included in who and what you are do you have the basis and motivation to have truly shared interests. And those who have shared interests are Teachers of God.

"Selfishness is of the ego but self-fullness is of the Soul because that is how He created it."

"The full appreciation of its self-fullness makes selfishness impossible, and extension inevitable."

"The Atonement is a lesson in sharing, which is given you because YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO IT."

"The miracle therefore is a lesson in WHAT JOY IS. Being a lesson in SHARING, it is a lesson in love, which IS joy."

"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost. Whenever you are with anyone ELSE, you have another opportunity to find them. Your power and glory are in HIM BECAUSE they are yours. The ego tries to find them in YOURSELF, because he does not know where to look. But the Holy Spirit teaches you that if you look only at yourself you CANNOT find yourself because that is NOT what you are."

Do you think you know what the ego is?

Do you think you know what separation means?

How many of you believe the idea that "ego" means "separation", and that therefore any kind of separation is ego? Or that all forms of separation must be removed in order to have oneness?

This is NOT TRUE. And it's not what Jesus says in ACIM:

Jesus: "Selfishness is of the ego but self-fullness is of the Soul because that is how He created it."

Jesus: "You who prefer specialness to sanity could not obtain it in your right minds. You were at peace until you asked for special favor. And God did not give it."

BEFORE THE SEPARATION, there were many of us in God's Creation. Many Sons of God, directly created by Him. There wasn't just one Son. There being many sons IS NOT SEPARATION. IT IS NOT EGO. Here's why.

God's children are all created in the likeness of Himself. They are identical reflections of Him. They are all IDENTICAL. He loves them all EQUALLY and therefore they are all created in PERFECT EQUALITY. There isn't a single Son of God who is different to or unique from the others. They are like "clones". Perfect beings of a like order. A good analogy is spherical orbs of light which all look the same. These are souls.

There is nothing wrong with this. There is no ego there. There is no ego because there are no DIFFERENCES. There is no inequality. Every son is fully equal to all the rest. Every son has access to share everything with everyone. Every son is perfect and whole and complete within themselves and needs nothing. Every son has everything that all the other sons have. Every son is perfectly IDENTICAL to all the others in every way. In this there is NO ROOM FOR EGO.

The Sons of God in the Sonship are in perfect permanent harmony. It is perfectly normal and natural for there to be many FREE WILLED beings who all correlate and agree and are in accord with the Will of God. They each have their own minds which God created, and their own free will, and yet there is not even the slightest trace of disagreement. Every son is perfectly UNITED in the willingness to will like God. To create in His likeness and in their own. Even though all children of God are CO-CREATORS with God, there is no discord, no competition, no comparison, no differences, no exclusivity. NO ONE IS SPECIAL IN ANY WAY. And this leads to the perfect harmony of Heaven's peace.

Now. What is the ego really? The ego is NOT the idea of separation. The Sons of God are "separate beings" and this is NOT EGO. So to say that any kind of separation is ego is wrong. It is also wrong to say that having separation means you can't have oneness. That's bullshit. Oneness means OF LIKE KIND, being identical and in the likeness of God. It means they are ONE KIND. Jesus even says you can even be "one with yourself" - meaning you are of one single kind of state within yourself. That's what oneness really means, not "only one thing with nothing more than a count of 1."

WHAT EGO REALLY MEANS, in Jesus's terms as well, is any form of SPECIALNESS, which attempts to ISOLATE OFF some Son of God from the rest, describing him as DIFFERENT IN SOME WAY, unique, special, unlike the others, no longer equal to anyone else. THAT is the oppositie of the identicality of God's perfect creation.

Jesus: "You who prefer specialness to sanity could not obtain it in your right minds. You were at peace until you asked for special favor. And God did not give it."

WE (many) had our own right minds BEFORE EGO. Then we tried to believe in "special favor" from God, that we would be thought of as NOT IDENTICAL TO others, and therefore gaining in some way and losing in others in order to have exclusivity.

It is PERFECTLY OKAY for there to be individuality in Heaven provided the individuals are PERFECTLY IDENTICAL. There is nothing wrong with there being a million Christs. Having individuality IS NOT AN EGO THING. It only becomes an ego thing when it turns into a SPECIAL INDIVIDUALITY or an individual identity that is NOT LIKE THE OTHERS.

"EGO", in ACIM terms, really means... being exclusive, isolated, imprisoned, limited, lacking something that others have, having something that others lack, not being equal to anyone, being unique, spiritualizing something, demonizing something, condemning others for what they have which you lack, being in competition, being selfish, wanting to own and hoard and posses something in denial of others, denial of your brothers, denial of God, rejection and abandonment, failing to share anything with anyone, not-shared interests, privacy, private thoughts, your own subjective perception, withdrawal from Life, isolation into a specific point in spacetime (in a body), being cut off from abundance or sharing, a breakdown in communication, contrast, opposition, war and conflict, murder and suffering and sickness and death.

That is basically ALL THE SAME THING. It's just different ASPECTS of the same wish to be exclusive, to be different, or to be un-alike your identical brothers. That's what leads you to withdraw from sharing from the entirety of Creation and to narrow yourself down, withdraw and isolate into a little corner, and to then hide yourself in a body. Specialness produces body-identification and reincarnation and sickness and death.

So egotism, or selfishness, or specialness, forms a barrier around yourself which tries to keep something exclusively within, while also rejecting stuff as outside of you. The body is a symbol of that. It means you want to be seen as DIFFERENT and not identical. And that's why all bodies are unique and unalike. They were made as devices for proving separation. This special exclusivity and isolation is the same thing as sin. "The body is the idea of sin made flesh and projected outwards."

So in this more-accurate view of what ego is and is not, which is perfectly in line with what ACIM says about it, it's not your individuality or self or soul or free will that's a problem. The ONLY problem is your sense of SELFISHNESS which has attempted to set you APART from others in terms of BEING DIFFERENT TO THEM, rather than identical. To be un-equal is to be in disagreement and conflict. It is an act of war. And it produces a split mind. Your mind cannot stop being split and become "right minded" until all inequalities are ironed out and made equal again. Then, when there are NO inequalities, your mind can return to ONE MINDEDNESS, which is a mind experiencing a SINGLE STATE, ie "oneness" as in - ONE KIND.

You do not need to forego your free-willed individual soul or self. It has never been a problem. The ONLY thing that needs to be let go is the sense of being SPECIAL, exclusive or isolated. Any form of inequality is ego. Any form of equality is God's Will.

"You cannot enter into relationship with any of God's Sons unless you are willing to love them all equally".

Loving MANY BROTHERS EQUALLY is not an ego state.

"Healing is an act of thought by which two minds perceive their oneness, and become glad."

When TWO MINDS REMAIN TWO MINDS, BUT see each other as IDENTICAL, they become glad. Oneness means identicality and perfect equality and LIKENESS, it does not mean "there is only one Son" nor does it mean "many sons is an ego thing" nor does it mean "many sons is separation."

SEPARATION, as in separation from God, doesn't mean "being separate from one thing" it means being EXCLUSIVE an ISOLATED FROM THE REST. What constitutes "the rest" isn't necessarily "only God". Isolation isolates you from your brothers as well. It is the sense of isolation and inequality from your brothers that must be undone and undoing that DOES NOT ERASE YOUR BROTHERS. Attempting to do that or to claim that doing that means oneness is MURDEROUS. It's another way the ego interferes with the truth.

So what I've come to do is that whenever I think of ego or separation, think more in terms of exclusivity, isolation and inequality. It's FAR more accurate and lines up with absolutely everything Jesus says. We are to overcome our self-imposed imprisonment and open up to SHARING, to RECLAIM OUR IDENTITY AS *A* SON OF GOD, and return to sharing in all of Creation of which we are a PART.

Jesus continues his passage:

"For the request was alien to Him, and you could not ask this of a Father who truly loved His Son. Therefore, you made of Him an UNloving father, demanding of Him what only such a father COULD give. And the peace of God's Son was shattered, for he no longer understood his Father. He feared what he had made, but still more did he fear his REAL father, having attacked his glorious equality WITH Him.

In peace he needed nothing, and asked for nothing. In war he DEMANDED everything, and FOUND nothing. For how could the gentleness of love respond to his demands, EXCEPT by departing in peace, and returning to the Father? If the son did not wish to REMAIN in peace, he could not remain at all. For a darkened mind cannot live in the light, and it must seek a place of darkness, where it can believe it is where it is NOT. God did not ALLOW this to happen. But you DEMANDED that it happen, and therefore believed that it was so.

To SINGLE OUT is to MAKE ALONE, and thus MAKE LONELY. God did not do this to you. Could He SET YOU APART, KNOWING that your peace lies in His oneness? He denied you only your request for pain, for suffering is not of His creation. Having GIVEN you creation, He could not take it FROM you. He could but answer your insane request with a sane answer, which would abide with you in your insanity. AND THIS HE DID. No-one who hears His answer but will give up insanity. For His answer is the reference point BEYOND delusions, from which you can look back on them, and see them as insane. But seek this place and you WILL find it, for love is in you, and will lead you there."

Love recognizes perfect equality in all children of God. The Golden Rule states that what applies to you applies to all other creations and the entire sonship without exception.

When you believe that something applies to you which does not apply to someone else, you are being murderous.

When this happens, there has been a separation idea introduced in-between cause and effect. God the Father is cause, you are His effect. To separate from God you drive a wedge between the two.

This now means that you believe you can cause something without being at the effect of what you cause. That you can GIVE, without RECEIVING, which is a principle of sacrifice. And that in turn means, you can do something to someone else, and escape the consequences.

This immediately places you in a position of seeming to be able to "get away with murder", because if you can do something to someone or have something be true of them and not of you, you can attack them and cause them harm without seeming to hurt yourself (which is delusional.)

This is why anything short of love is attempted murder. It's an attempt to say, hey brother, we are different, and you are this thing that I am not, and so it's possible for you to suffer without me suffering, and it's possible for me to attack you without me receiving the same attack.

In this view, giving a receiving are no longer equal and what is true of me is no longer true for you, and so I can make something apply to you without it applying to me, and thus get away with it.

Even the slightest hint that the Golden Rule does not apply, or that there are different rules of values for each child of God, introduces a fundamentally murderous thought system, which is murderous at its very core. This is why anything which is not eternal life, is death, and there is no life outside of Heaven.

It IS a black and white, literal teaching. The ego is fundamentally a murderous thought system. Any lack of equality is an attack. Any imbalance or specialness or special favor or chaotic lack of identicality is an attack on the entire sonship.

God creates only perfectly identical mirror-image beings who are in His own image and likeness in every way. None of them lacks anything, nothing is missing. "God who encompasses all being nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually and want to share it to increase their joy." When such beings attempt to not share, and to not increase joy, and to not be perfectly identical, they enter into lack, which produces perceived attack, which is a state of attempted murder.

Jesus is very clear about this. "What is not love is murder." If it's not perfect unconditional divine holy love, the person is being murderous. And that means even a slight grievance is murderous. Even a casual judgement. Even a single attack thought. Even an irritation or slight annoyance. It may seem to show up as "degrees" of murderousness but it's still ALL murderous.