I want to tell you about a way in which I used my persona to destroy myself, and how I am learning to overcome it. This was actually a very very painful long-term lesson, so it is hard to write about.

I grew up as a highly sensitive person, who experienced everything in an intense, overwhelming, overpowering way. In order to try to cope with this, I developed the use of my persona. The persona is the side of the ego split-mind that focuses on specialness, goodness, success, social acceptability, favoritism, pleasantness, etc. So I went very strongly into 'people pleasing'.

What I'd do, quite automatically/unconsciously, was I'd put on this facade, literally a 'false face', where I'd smile a lot, become very quiet, try to appear pleasant, try not to upset anyone, look unthreatening and harmless, as though 'showing this' to people would deflect them and therefore protect me. It was my attempt to be invisible. This included a really intense repression of myself. Basically I was using this to hide my Self.

In any public situation I would put on this persona mask and make it appear that nothing was wrong, that everything was good and normal, nothing to see here, being nice to everyone and don't say a single word, and not get hurt. But there were many times this blew up in my face.

Once I was on a bus heading into town and it stopped at the hospital. A man got on the bus and sat nearby. He said that he had just gotten out of the hospital from his 3rd heart attack. This alone was enough to trigger me to hide myself even more than I already was. So I smiled a lot. He, having just gone through life-changing events, started up a conversation with me, which was horrifying. He saw I was smiling and thought that it meant I was happy, and therefore wanted to know what my 'secret to a happy life' was. This put tremendous extra pressure on me (as I saw it) and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. To do this, I intensified even more this persona of hiding myself, which was an attempt to reject him, smiling even more, being very tight-lipped, and just wanting the ordeal to end. I just became more and more quiet. For some reason I seemed to just do this as an automatic defense that I'd learned.

Once I got off the bus, I was just about ready to hurl. I put so much effort into psychologically rejecting the man, and hiding myself, that I felt literally sick. I reached/retched uncontrollably for several minutes before I could calm down. This put a huge damper on my day and was somewhat traumatic. But this wasn't the only effect of this.

See, when I used my persona to hide my real Self, this wouldn't just mean rejecting the other person, it would mean rejecting me. The more I tried to shut them out, the more I shut myself out. I had no idea I was doing this. But what I did know was how it felt. Absolutely horrible. I would come away from bad experiences like this, which occurred many many times in all kinds of public scenarios, with a feeling of tremendous tension in my head from intense embarrassment/shame/humiliation. I'd get a horrible headache, but even worse, I would feel deeply, deeply, deeply hurt. This hurt was more intense and horrible than ANY other emotion I have ever felt for any reason. Psychologically it was like I had experienced every single form of rejection, abandonment, hurt and pain all at once. The absolute only way to move past this was to have a huge cry.

So, as a result of putting on a persona and pretending to be someone I was not, regardless of whether that fake self seemed to be 'nice' or 'kind' or anything anyone values, the only way I could appear to be literally 'someone else' was to horrendously suppress, deny, reject and abandon myself. I thought I was using separation 'against' other people to separate myself from them in order to protect myself, but this separation did nothing but hurt me.

I also had a huge fear of other people judging me, and a fear of rejection. What I didn't realize was that each time that I tried to put on a persona mask of nice, likable, happy-smiley, quiet or whatever, I was buying into an ego thought system. And by doing that, I was taking a gamble. Either I would 'get' the result I wanted which was that people would be deflected and ignore me and I would pass by 'safely', OR other people would attack me or pressure me in some way and I'd end up suffering. By believing in the potential of being seen to be accepted or liked or pleasing to others, I was also simultaneously believing in the 'potential' that others would judge me. I wanted them to judge me favorably, which would feed my 'goodie goodie' persona, which meant I had to believe in judgement. And because I believed in judgement, I lived in fear of it.

So I thought I had an issue of being afraid of judgement from others. A fear of rejection. And this fear of rejection cycled around in a vicious cycle, compelling me to want to NOT be rejected, and therefore to put on a smiley persona face in order to get other people to not reject or hurt me. But of course that merely put me closer in touch with rejection and judgement, if not by others then much moreso by myself. The amount of rejection I experienced from myself TO myself as a result of self-suppression, was far worse than anything anyone else did. So this strategy really didn't actually work, even though I kept trying to use it, and each time it got worse. Over time I just became more and more uptight and quiet and withdrawn from society, eventually jobless and depressed and deeply unhappy and unable to see a way to be different.

Over time, through various avenues of healing, not least of which was the support by my wife who showed up right when I was at my worst, I gradually have learned about the dynamics of what I do to myself versus what I thought other people were going to do to me. I learned painfully and slowly to see that I only saw other people as 'attacking judging strangers' because *I* had already attacked them first. Through the years of working with A Course in Miracles and various other things I've come to very gradually realize exactly why my use of the persona is completely self-defeating and does not help at all. All the persona does is section off everything I think is wrong with me into a tidy little box and shove it away into the dark recesses of my mind, later to surface as pain and suffering.

Yet, over time I've still held onto a belief that I am mainly afraid of rejection or judgement, rather than realizing that my attempt to use the persona is what actually causes the problem. Every time I try to do what other people would want, or make myself like able, or appease others, or focus on what other people like or would buy, or whether I'd get approval, or showing only the parts of myself that I think are acceptable to others, this AUTOMATICALLY creates a fear of rejection and judgement. Because really, by using the persona (i.e. wanting to feed it by creating a self-image/persona of being pleasing) I am actually already rejecting myself and judging myself. Why would I want to put a facade on myself to cover up my True Self? Why would I want to soften the blow of someone else's attitude by abandoning myself first, so that I then need a defense?

The truth that is starting to reveal itself to me now, is that if I actually just be true to myself, and completely drop all need to use the persona to be 'likable' or 'acceptable to others' or 'what they want' etc, I actually stay in a STRENGTH and a authenticity that empowers me and completely overrides the apparent need, either for a fake persona self, or for a defense against rejection. And so this reveals what really is underneath all this.

If I reject myself FIRST, I will then believe I have to use a false self-image-persona to show other people a version of me that they will like, so that they won't point out how shitty I am. Once i'm in persona mode, I cannot escape the fear of rejection because I've already rejected myself and more will be forthcoming through the projection of it.

So the task in front of me now is, to learn to accept myself fully, to be true to the truth in me, to open up to reveal and expose who I really am, to 'let loose' without any shame or censorship, to stop trying to hide myself for any reason, and to basically 'be myself'. But it also HAS to mean, a willingness to stop putting on a show, to stop presenting myself in a fake way, to stop trying to 'appear' likable, to stop people-pleasing, to stop trying to feed my persona image, to stop trying to get everyone to approve of me, and to just drop that whole pile of horseshit. I only enter into a perception that I need 'protection' when I have already judged myself and have seen myself as vulnerable. I am not vulnerable if I am truth-filled. And I don't need to please anyone.

So the key to FREEDOM in all this, is awakening into Holy Spirit's view of me, in acceptance of the truth of me, and in completely surrendering BOTH the fear of rejection AND the attempt to 'win approval' through the persona. By stopping using a persona this solves every problem that ever arose out of its use. What I thought was helping me was hurting me deeply. And stopping the use of the persona stops the creation of the shadow (pain) as well.

Standing firmly in who I AM, brings all of the certainty, strength, assertiveness, disregard for other's opinions, invulnerability, and empowerment, that seemed to be MISSING when I chose to use the ego. And which could never be fulfilled by using the ego. Because once again, it's a case of seek and do not find. "I don't have to worry about what to say or what to do knowing He goes there with me" - ACIM, i.e. I am in my true self and my true self is completely uninterested in pretense or rejection.

Who knew - trying to please people makes you rejected!!!

Learning to love myself more. Learning to drop the ego more. Learning to be what I am, instead of trying to be something I'm not. And in that, there is no fear.

The ego aligns with the physical world, and is completely backwards. It operates on the basis of how the physical works.

It says, if I give you something, I must lose it. We can't both have it. We could have a tug of war, or a compromise of lack, but we can't both have it at the same time.

This is completely backwards according to God's law. God says that if you give something you receive it because giving and receiving are one. So if I give something to you, there is no loss, and we both have all of it at the same time.

It then seems completely impossible to actually express God's law in this world on a physical level, because the physical laws themselves - which are laws of separation - say you cannot do it. That we can't both have the whole simultaneously.

However, a more advanced miracle worker can break the physical laws and demonstrate that giving and receiving are one. For example Jesus did this when he showed that he could multiply food and feed thousands of people. This violated the physical laws which said that if he would give the original bread and fish away, there would be none left to feed the crowd.

The ego believes entirely in physicality as being reality. It based its whole thought system on this model of separation. Objects which are kept apart by physical space (distance) and time (delay). Both of which are attempts to avoid the presence of God.

If for example in this world a person seems to die, their body is dead etc, the ego says that this evidence proves the person has been extinguished from existence. And if this is real, you should be horrified and upset. You should then experience loss and grief.

But the truth is that the person's spirit lives on in heaven and has eternal life, so there has not really been a death. And so the body isn't showing the truth. Spirit could demonstrate this fact for example by materializing another body, which is what Jesus did in his resurrection, and sometimes the angels do this also.

Similarly the ego believes that freedom means separation. In order to be free of something or someone it has to go away. You have to lose it. But in God's rules, you can have freedom and also have oneness shared with another at the same time. Being free doesn't mean you are separate whatsoever, it means you are also joined without strings attached. To the ego, freedom is imprisonment.

It then seems quite challenging for us to rise up out of the ego thought system - a system which aligns closely to how the physical world seems to work - and up into a higher path based on the laws of God. A state in which only the truth is true, and "I am under no laws but God's". A state from which the seeming laws of physical can be completely broken and ignored through miracles.

The higher state completely violates and reverses and ignores the physical order. It pays no attention to the seeming limitations of separateness, the illusion of objects and forms, the presentation of distance or time. Miracles pay no attention to what the physical says can or cannot happen.

"miracles violate every law of reality, as this world judges it. Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended"

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt."

In order to awaken to reality we have to move our mind into the higher order, into the higher mind and its higher thought system. This means aligning with God's laws and living by them. These are NON-PHYSICAL laws which run totally against the grain of the world.

And that means that you're adopting a belief system and perspective and relationship that is running totally contrary to the world. In fact the entire world's lower and backward thought system has to be totally reversed and denied.

This world, the physical world, space and time, Earth and bodies, operate completely opposite to how heaven functions. And we have to learn to wean ourselves off of its illusions and its ways, its nature and its limitations, and rise up to heaven in a celebration of joy and happiness that this world is completely false and does not apply to us.

We need to stop believing, perceiving, and functioning based on how the physical world operates. We need to function based on how God operates, and it is totally opposite to the physical world and all its ways. You are not of this world and never were.

"The world will end when its thought system has been completely reversed."

"This is the first idea we have had which is related to a major phase of the correction process; the reversal of the thinking of the world."

"Yet it is the final lesson in which Unity is restored. It goes against all the thinking of the world, but so does Heaven."

"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely."

"Today's idea, completely alien to the ego and the thinking of the world, is crucial to the thought reversal which this course will bring about."

"To give up all problems to one Answer is to reverse the thinking of the world entirely."

"Only be quiet. You will need no rule but this to let your practicing today lift you above the thinking of the world, and free your vision from the body's eyes."

"Here is the perfect statement of my freedom. I am under no laws but God's." "I am entitled to miracles because I am under no laws but God's."

The ego in each of us acts like a gatekeeper, or controller, who decides what will be accepted or rejected. Everything has to go through it and meet its approval. It acts like "the boss" who has authority and who gets to decide whether something is true or false.

We feed everyting through this "opinion maker", and if we decide not to agree with something we’ll push it away. This really is the ego’s arrogance in trying to be that which decides what the truth is. If it decides something is false, it is false, and will not be acceptable.

So with regards to ACIM, Jesus has written various things and all of them are true. It is our job to actually trust Jesus and trust what He has said is true. But our ego is not happy about that. It wants to decide whether it is true or not, or what it means. It will accept some things, and reject others. It will only "approve" certain things that meet its criteria.

But what we’re supposed to be doing is to trust that Jesus is being truthful, which means, instead of asking ourselves whether what he says is true or not, to put aside the function of deciding if Jesus can be believed, to "blindly accept it" through FAITH, and to THEN spend time figuring out how it MUST be true.

Do we trust Jesus? Is he always telling the truth? Does he lie? Does he contradict himself? Do we have faith in his word? Do we put aside "trying to be right" or "being the decider", and let Him be the authority? This is part of surrendering our ego role of defensiveness and reluctance and having a heartfelt trust and willingness to accept the truth. To accept it not because we even necessarily understand it, but because it’s coming from Jesus.

I trust that what Jesus is saying is true, and then try to learn how and why it is true. I accept it first, and explain it later. And where I fail to trust and want to decide what the truth is myself, those are my lessons in trust.

Jesus is the man.

There are two kinds of power, God's power and ego power.

Ego power means that you have to rise up against enemies and fight them strongly. This manifests as intensity, anger, attack. You think that if you can 'over-power' the 'other', then you will gain power and win.

But this demonstration of power is actually not power at all. It is a show of weakness, because you can't believe in separation and have strength. Strength comes from wholeness, not opposition. Strength comes from inclusiveness, not exclusion.

When you are attempting to be powerful over something in this ego way, you're really saying that you believe very strongly that the enemy has some kind of power over you, and therefore you need to muster a huge amount of supposed might against them in order to not be disempowered. But this only means you still continue to believe they have power over you, which is a perspective of weakness. This isn't really power at all.

God's power is wholeness, in that when you are being what you are, you are infinitely powerful. There is no limit to what you can do or what you can choose to create. And nothing can affect you, and you have no enemies.

See, the essential difference is, that in God's power you don't need the power in order to rise up against anyone because the power comes from wholeness and not from separation. It comes because it's natural and shared, and is therefore strong. It automatically protects you from inventing enemies, and therefore there are no enemies that this power needs to 'go up against'. You are powerful SO THAT you have no opposition.

It is actually a choice to have a lack of power, that creates a perception of enemies. It is a choice to see yourself as a victim, that leads to you believing that someone other than you has a power to affect you in ways that you can't prevent. And ultimately if you believe they have tremendous power over you, they will destroy you. But really it is you destroying yourself, because you're the one giving your power away.

So yes, you choose and feed your enemies. You give them their ammunition. You set them against you.

If you want to feel empowered it's not going to come from fighting against things that you think are unacceptable or not right. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS PUTTING THEM OUT THERE! It's from shifting into an awareness that nothing can harm you because you have no opposition and are not attacking others with a judgement of wrongness. Stop making enemies for yourself.

The requirement to eat and get food is built into spacetime, did you know that? If space is the idea that something is "over here and not over there", then the thing over here lacks what is over there. This makes all of spacetime fundamentally lack based. Which means that everything that relies on it, which is all physical matter, every atom, is in some way lacking and deficient. Everything thus depends on something other than itself to attempt to become whole or sustained.

This lays the ground rules for what later becomes "feeding". Taking something outside of something to try to replenish what is lacking. And because of the ego's laws, if you take something from somewhere in order to address a lack, there is no increase, and only decrease, and now that thing is forced to lack "against its will". So if I take the apple from the tree the tree is now lacking an apple, and I have impoverished it.

If I take an animals body it no longer has its body. If I take water from the fountain it now lacks some water. Everywhere in this world this is true, with absolutely no regard for the form or type of object. And the act of "getting" from "others" is a murderous, attacking act, because it's an attempt to deprive them and to diminish what they have and to steal it away for your own selfish reasons. And so every single atom in spacetime is fundamentally, scientifically selfish.

The system of massive dependency later becomes what people call an ecosystem. An inter-dependent system where stuff consumes other stuff, selectively, and so it seems some things are "more ok" than other things. That's just part of the hierarchy of illusions. There are no special separate laws for animals versus plants versus microbes. It's all governed by the same ego laws of physics which are fundamentally selfish and murderous. This is why this is a cruel world that God did not create.

It's impossible to not be murderous if you do anything in this world physically. "The world of bodies is the world of sin." Best you can do is let Holy Spirit use the body and inform you of what to select, but this is not on a basis of being able to spiritualize or avoid the fact of what is happening here based on ego's laws. If you were truly operating under holy laws, God's laws, and no other, you would manifest food out of thin air, symbolizing the laws of increase of God, so that nothing is deprived or made to lack at your expense.

That is the ONLY way not to be murderous, by breaking the ego's laws entirely and bypassing them. This is why Jesus materialized food to feed people. You can justify and spiritualize a breakdown of objects into categories and give some special rules and other different rules if you want, suggesting some items are more sacred than others so you should avoid eating them, but that's a fragmenting and separation-based illusion of harmlessness, trying to be harmless to some parts of the world of death so as to justify why its okay to harm other parts. "The world was made that problems (like this) could not be escaped."

Only in God's Kingdom or under God's laws is there the possibility of true harmlessness.

(and why this world is NOTHING like God’s creation)

"For what you are is what He is. There is no love but His, and what He is is everything there is. There is no limit placed upon Himself, and so are you unlimited as well."

Everything about the ego is based on the idea of not sharing anything. This results in everything being completely separate from everything else. What is in a banana, is not in an apple. What is in my house, is not in your house.

Because this ENTIRE UNIVERSE has been made by the ego thought system, every property of matter follows the same law. The ego’s entire statement is "share nothing". Bodies do not share or join. Atoms do not share or join. One mountain is not another mountain. The Earth is not Mars.

In this ego world, absolutely everything is confined to limited FORM. The form or appearance of the surface of objects, fixated on by the body’s eyes, show you a picture of "nothing being shared". Another word for a world where nothing is shared, is DEATH!! This is a world of death, a dream of death, fundamentally. That is why is it OPPOSITE TO LIFE, and OPPOSITE TO HEAVEN IN EVERY WAY. "There is no life outside of heaven" "Only the creations of light are real."

The form of your TV separates and distinguishes it from the form of your chair. Forms seem to have different properties, qualities, identities. This applies not only on the level of the PHYSICAL UNIVERSE, it also applies in all aspects of EGO THINKING.

The ego literally thinks in terms of not sharing. It fundamentally assumes that one thing is separate from another. That one thing is limited by its form and is not something else. There is no oneness. No sharing. No overlap. No unity.

To the ego, there is "only so much to go around". It evaluates the "amount" of something based on "how much form there is". Or in other words, how limited something is. It does not give ANY value to any idea of sharing. It does not count something twice. It does not measure amounts by anything present in multiple objects simultaneously.

This leads to a way of thinking which is anti-abundant, has built in SCARCITY, is fundamentally a thought system of LACK, and therefore produces competition, war and sacrifice. To the ego, there is simply NOT ENOUGH to go around. Not enough of anything. This is the ego saying, God is not enough, God is not sharing, God is nowhere, and love is limited.

It does not simply make this statement or belief on a mental level. It is DEMONSTRATED on the level of PHYSICAL OBJECTS. This entire universe is an idea of lack, deprivation, limitation, scarcity, loss, with nothing being shared, and God being nowhere.

This is because the ego is very very EXCLUSIVE in its thought processes. It *separates out*. It divides. It sees in one part what is MISSING from other parts. If I own the only 1 pound diamond in the world, you do not. If I own the best property in New York, you do not. If I bought all the apples at the store, there are none left for you. There is NO SHARING in the ego. It has absolutely NO CONCEPT of INCLUSIVITY whatsoever.

This is intentional. Because this is the TOTAL OPPOSITE of what God is like. God is not like this AT ALL. This is why "Heaven and earth are opposites IN EVERY WAY". Earth, and this "physical" universe, fundamentally demonstrate the idea of SEPARATION in ALL ITS FORMS. Every form - or object - is the form of ERROR. This world is fundamentally NOT LIKE GOD, down to the subatomic quantum particle. This is why GOD DID NOT CREATE THIS WORLD. It is NOTHING LIKE HIM!!

Here is what God IS like.

God thinks ONLY INCLUSIVELY. God thinks only in terms of SHARING. God thinks only in terms of INCREASE, abundance, availability, unity, creation, an NO form of exclusion.

God does not think, hey, all of myself is over here being shared with Paul, therefore, there’s none of myself left to share with that other person. God does not DECREASE by sharing himself. He is not a quantity. He is not limited. He is not finite. "Nothing real can be increased except by sharing".

Because of SHARING, which the ego has completely opposed, it IS POSSIBLE in God’s world (Heaven) for something to be accessed by multiple individuals simultaneously without ANY LACK. This is because there is no POSSESSION or ownership or exclusivity. Everyone SHARES everything.

This means not simply, there is a limited amount of stuff and we all compromise on how much each gets. That is ego. Rather, each time something is shared, IT INCREASES, because it is CREATED, and this ADDS TO what exists. Each time God shares himself in an act of creation, he puts all of himself into the creation, and yet STILL has all of himself left.

Remember, ideas are INCREASED by being shared or given way. Remember also that nothing real can EXIST UNLESS it is shared and extended. It must extend in order to have PRESENCE, and this makes it shine with radiance. In God’s reality, if you give something to another, you do not LACK it. You do not lose it. You are not left wanting. What you give, YOU HAVE, and you give it only because you have it, and you KEEP IT by giving it. "To have all, give all to all". Giving does not REDUCE. Giving INCREASES.

That means, unlike in the EGO WORLD, Heaven is utterly filled with abundance, everything functions based on SHARING, and sharing does not mean lack or loss. This sharing requires the ability for multiple individuals to OVERLAP, to literally SHARE the same space. Another word for this is oneness. Oneness doesn’t mean "one finite thing" - that is the ego’s version of oneness. Oneness means SHARED WITH ALL AND BY ALL. It DEFIES ego logic.

You being a creation of God, one of many, occurred because God shared the WHOLE of Himself in order to create you. And He created you AS A WHOLE. You have been FULLY created. God thus INCREASED His Kingdom by creating you. You have been ADDED to God. This means that God is IN you, fully, and yet it ALSO is fully present in all other souls. God being in you does NOT limit Him or deprive anyone else of Him. For one simple reason, the one idea and NATURE that the ego hates: SHARING.

You SHARE God with all other creations. You all have access to all of Him, at the same time, with no lack and no private hoarding. This gives new meaning to "whats mine is yours". "One mind contains all minds" "One brother is all brothers". God has One Son AND MANY SONS simultaneously - this is the Sonship. It is REAL BECAUSE it is shared. This is impossible in terms of the ego world of matter, but entirely possible in heaven. "It is the world you see that is impossible" refers to the physical universe, which is a picture of impossibility, a picture of death, a picture of NOT EXISTING because there is no sharing, and a picture of the crucifixion of God’s Son, IN MATTER.

This can be demonstrated through miracles WITHIN this impossible world. Here, it should NOT be possible to feed 5000 people with only a few loaves of bread and a few fish. This is because there is not enough FINITE AMOUNT to go around. The ego says, by its laws, you can only give 5 loaves to 5 people and you have no more to give. This is embedded into the nature of the PHYSICAL OBJECTS.

If there are only a few loaves of bread and a handful of fishes, and there are 5000 people to feed, the ego says there is not enough to go around. God says, YES THERE IS. And through SHARING, at the supernatural level, those loaves and fishes MULTIPLY. The amount INCREASES. All 5000 people get fully fed. This *demonstrates* that what appeared to be finite lack, was an ILLUSION, was not TRUE, was not God’s law, and it was PROVED to be false through a miracle of demonstration. Jesus fed all the people by demonstrating GODS LAW, God’s truth, that sharing increases abundance, there is NO LACK, giving does not diminish, and supply is unlimited.

This is what it means to perform a MIRACLE in this world. To demonstrate that the ego’s ways, the ego’s laws, the very nature of matter itself, IS FALSE, a lie, can be demonstrated to BE a lie, and that God’s power is UNLIMITED. This shows through proof, that this world is lying to you, because its laws of lack and limitation are NOT TRUE. This is why miracles are teaching devices. Jesus didn’t just feed the 5000, he TAUGHT that THERE IS NO LACK, there IS enough for everyone to have ALL of what is available without loss, and what is given to one person is GIVEN EQUALLY to all from an unlimited source.

God shares all of himself with EVERY PART of his creation. There is no competition, no war, no scarcity, no lack, no deprivation, no loss, no reduction, no inability to have everything, no isolation, no exclusion, and no posession. This is why God’s world - heaven - is TOTALLY OPPOSITE to the "physicality" or physical NATURE of this entire universe. God CANNOT have created this world of limitation. Next time you don’t have enough money, remind yourself, THE EGO DID THIS. When you run out of food, the ego did this. When you had to SACRIFICE, the ego did this. There is no sacrifice in God. EVERYONE SHARES EVERYTHING FULLY.

There is an abundance of love to go around. Being loved does not mean others are not loved. Getting God’s attention does not mean others are excluded. Receiving a LOT does not mean the supply is reducing. Having a lot does not mean others are being deprived. God has an UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF LOVE. Everytime it is given, it increases. God has FULL LOVE for you, not just scraps of attention or leftovers from what other people have ripped away as their own posession.

Ultimately your SELF is unlimited. You thought you could posess a part of God’s creation and make it your own. You thought you could STOP SHARING and place a limit on your identity. Your individuality is not a problem and is not ego. All of God’s children are permanent and real. The only problem is that you tried to reduce by seeking to be special, to have exclusive interests for yourself. To give yourself more, so that others would have less. This is the opposite of SHARED INTERESTS. Everything in heaven has shared interests.

You being a self is not ego because your self naturally SHARES. You being SELFISH and not wanting to share, is ego. You being an individual is not ego. You believing in sacrifice and lack and deprivation and possessiveness is ego. You being one of God’s Sons is not a problem. You trying to ISOLATE YOURSELF so that SHARING is prevented, and so that there is a LIMITATION on yourself, THAT is the ego. Lack of sharing is imprisonment.

Placing your mind under authority of ego places it under tyrannical rule and leads to imprisonment. It leads to the ego’s thought system of NO SHARING and lack and finite limitations. It leads to BODIES being made to represent the idea that nothin is shared AS physical, limited matter. It makes this universe. It leads to all forms of suffering, lack and sacrifice. And it leads to DEATH. What is starvation but the total lack of sharing or access to what you need? Death is DENIAL OF GOD. Death is DENIAL OF SHARING.

That is not God’s will for you. It is God’s will for you that you HAVE EVERYTHING, and that you share it with ALL OTHERS, AND that you increase it by creating MORE, which ALL SHARE IN. Abundance is your natural inheritance. You will NOT find it in the physical world, which is a world of lack, limits and sacrifice. It is a world of compromise and loss. Although you can DEMONSTRATE it here through supernatural miracles which prove just how UNLIKE God this world is, and that "you are undo no laws but God’s".

Your abundance is waiting for you in Heaven. In God’s world. By Gods laws. God wants to share ALL OF HIMSELF with you, and he already has. That is how you were created and that is what is natural for you. You ARE sharing fully with God, with His One Son, with All His Sons, and with the whole Sonship, FOREVER.

You are loved and provided for by God, UNLIMITEDLY. "There is NOTHING my holiness cannot do."

In our special relationships, we think of a particular person as our savior, idol, bestie, or appointed partner. We adore them with very exclusive terms and special attention. Things that we reserve only for them and for no-one else.

This is the main mode of functioning of love in most people. Special love, for special people, in special ways. Or in other words, limited love, in exclusive situations, with a very small handful of individuals.

The ego in us loves this. It loves to love only a tiny subset of the Sonship. It loves to isolate and limit and constrain all love to one special chosen target recipient. It loves to really strongly play up how important and special and relied-upon that person is, because what this indirectly implies, is that everyone else sucks bigtime.

Special relationships therefore feed the ego 'persona' - the parts of life that it wants to keep and approve of - which is a very limited slice of reality - which it will eventually still attack and destroy. And while it feeds this persona, it relegates everything else to prison, which goes into your own mind as your 'shadow' self, filled with rejection and hate and attack. And that shadow self will attack your persona self and attack your special relationship and eventually try to destroy it. And as such romance turns to resentment. That's what the ego has in store for you when you play along with the special-love game. It ends in tears.

Ok so, being a bit dramatic ;-)

The point is, most people are stuck in this game, and there is a whole other way to experience life. And that means, bringing specialness into question, which is especially difficult when you have special relationships. It means that you will have to confront a sense of not depending on special people, but instead depending on God. It means you will have to examine why you can only love this one person and not everyone else, and also find out what it is within yourself that refuses to love everyone equally. Typically it's because you do not want to love yourself at all times, but only when you yourself are 'special' to yourself, which is probably not often.

Sometimes therefore special relationships have to go through a transition in order for the relationship to become 'holy', which means, the specialness (which is really a form of conditionality and limitation) has to be brought into question. And indeed, it may have to be released, which can be very painful, in order to make way for a greater expansion of love that overflows beyond the borders of the special relationship. How can you be unconditionally loving and uncondtionally yourself without letting go of the specialness that limits and imprisons you?

This doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship or necessarily its destruction, but at times it can seem that the special aspects of the relationship undergo a breakdown, to reveal a deeper unconditionality, a deeper more genuine more honest love, that doesn't put on a mask of pretense and perhaps doesn't play into the appearance of a typical special relationship. This means the relationship is becoming holy, in which the 'real selves' are starting to relate on terms of deeper honesty and greater willingness to love. Love actually increases, but it becomes in a sense less personally confining. It become more freeing, more allowing, more accepting, and that's different than how a special relationship typically starts out.

What remains then is a TRUE relationship, not only with another person but also with yourself, where you yourself are more genuine, where you are not dependent on the other person for the source of your love, where you are able to be of service, where you love them unconditionally, love yourself unconditionally, and also love beyond the walls of the 'relationship' unconditionally. What applies to you must apply to all. And as such, as you mature into unconditional love, you are maturing into a relationship with the entire Sonship, based on love instead of rejection and special attention.

This ultimately is the only way to love yourself.

If someone you know is identified with the ego, they actually believe that the ego is their 'self'. Whether it's that the ego is being vicious or guilty or angry or fearful or playing a victim or whatever, the person believes THEY are this.

If you then try to speak any truth to the person, or to convince them that they're mistaken, or to offer insights or healing or to fix them, or to feed 'input' of any kind of greater truth to them, they will not be able to accept it.

Even though you are not really targeting the person - the self - but rather, the ego that they are associated with - the person still believes THEY are the ego. So any attempt to 'get rid of' the ego in them or to heal them or help in any way, will be experienced as you attacking them. And they will resist. Even if you have their best interests and highest good at heart and are just trying to help them to see the light, they will take it as an attack.

The ego can be quite vicious especially when it is confronted with truth in any form. And when the person is identified WITH the ego, they will experience it as though this truth is offensive to them. They will not want your 'help'. It's not that it's not helpful, but if the person can't separate out who they really ARE from the possessive, absorbing, blood-sucking parasite that the ego is, they're not going to be able or willing to listen. Then the person's reluctance to accept help, to seek help, to want help, or to get out of their own 'death wish', will be met with you feeling extremely frustrated in your efforts to 'save them'.

So this is what it really boils down to. We're not meant to be working on transforming the ego, or waking the ego up, or making the ego spiritual. We need to wake up FROM the ego. And that's very different. To wake up FROM the ego you HAVE to go through some kind of transition of identity. You have to transition away from believing in and associating with ego as your sense of 'self', leaving the ego's mind behind, and shifting your sense of self over to Holy Spirit's mind. It's a matter of pulling away from/detaching from the ego and realizing IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

Same goes for the other person. They need to gain enough 'awareness' about the truth of who they are in order to not be LOST in believing that they are the ego. And if they are quite lost, it may take some time for them to 'wake up' from its possession of them, or rather, their doing-it-to-themself unconscious absorption into it.

So you have to be careful when you're trying to help others. Those with ears to listen with listen. But when they are too 'close' to the ego, you have to be extremely sensitive and careful about implying or making it seem like 'they' - the self - are the target of your offering of healing. If the self takes it to mean that you're trying to 'get rid of them', they will naturally resist, and that's totally understandable. No-one wants to be undone.

Love heals. But love is gentle and kind and patient.

"I came to tell them that death is an illusion, and the mind that made the body can make another since form itself is an illusion."

Let's say the body is nothing more than an 3D IMAGE which the mind is projecting outward to make "visible." Like a movie projector. The image is shining outward and only shows up while the mind is projecting it.

Now.

Is the image alive?

Would you feed an image? Does it need water?

Would you try to protect an image from the weather?

Would an image be able to age or grow old or die?

Would you be able to attack an image?

Could an image become corrupted or broken or damaged?

Would an image be subject to laws of physics like gravity?

Is there any causal power in all the universe that could do anything to change that image?

If it's just an image, and if the mind is making it appear, and nothing you can do can affect the MIND ie you can't stop the movie projector from projecting, then surely the image of the body is absolutely unchangeable if the mind decides that this be so? And no matter what seems to happen, nothing affects the image because it only comes from the mind? Even if there's a nuclear explosion nearby, the next "frame" of the movie is simply projected in the next instant making the body seem totally unaffected?

The body is just an illusion. It is an image being projected by the mind. It has no real purpose, substance, reality, live, will, mind, causality, nothing. It's just an image. A hologram.

The last time you watched a movie, for the second time, did you get a different movie? Did the movie "age" and become sick? Did the movie need feeding? Or did you see the exact same movie? Because the SOURCE of the movie did not change the OUTPUT, right?

If you do not attack the image with your mind, and you do not make the image BE an image of sickness or death, is it possible for the image to be anything other than what you choose to project?

When you believe or think that the image you are projecting IS WHO YOU ARE, that it is your identity, that is when you have moved into the ego and are now confused and lost. It is in this identification with the image that you lose sight of your true self, become deluded and self-deceiving, and don't realize that nothing can affect YOU who are not a body, and start to fear that the body AS YOU is vulnerable. Yet the only thing that CHANGES the body is your mind - this is the secret of salvation - you do it all to yourself.

What you use the body for it becomes. Let's frame it differently. What intent you have behind projecting a body, determines what kind of body you project. If you want to attack, you create an image of an body with "attack in it", and this attack shows up as a different appearance than if you made a body just to communicate love.

When the body is ONLY showing a representation of Christ/love, it does not show up with any self-made attack or intentions or harm. Then the body seems "lovely", as Jesus refers to it. At least while it is useful to keep showing one. And when you are doing pretending to be a body, you will just stop projecting it, and it will disappear.

When the mind has become fully spirit identified and free from believing it is a body, it is now free from the delusion of form or separation, and yet CAN STILL project a body if it wants to. This is what Jesus demonstrated when he reappeared a body. "The mind that made the body can make another." Yet in the making of it, he is not deceived by it. This is also why you can still call upon the "image" of those who have gone beyond the body. The body simply becomes "optional", and unnecessary, except for teaching purposes.