Punishment is never called for. Ever. It is a sign of unforgiveness.

ALL mistakes are forgivable.

This doesn't mean you can use this to justify harm, because to *experience* innocence prevents you from being harmful. You don't therefore abstain from harm just because its intellectually correct, but because the innocent CANNOT sin.

All mistakes are forgivable. Punishment for mistakes is completely counter-productive. It is never warranted or justified, and leads only to adding abuse, which adds darkness to darkness, adds pain to pain, and reinforces a sense of being 'bad' which WILL express in future as more 'bad behavior'.

ONLY healing can be an appropriate response to mistakes. Mistakes and the ability to make them must be healed, with love, to be undone. Otherwise, regardless of the intentions to help, to coerce, to fix, to correct, or whatever, all of those intentions are flawed and all of them include reinforcing and making worse whatever the need for the mistake was.

Punishment harms, it doesn't heal. How can something harmful in any way bring about a more HEALED person? It has NO power to correct anything truly. It is a complete waste of time.

Love is the only response in all situations.

Sometimes (ok, often), I think I know what is good or bad. For myself, for other people etc. But I have to question this. Do I really know anything?

What if my efforts to help are hurtful? What if I'm distracting someone from a spiritual lesson? What if I'm taking away someone's lesson, even if it's painful, that they need in order to wake up? What if my fixing is actually undoing an opportunity that someone has to find their own strength? What if my attempt to take over something is disempowering for them, even if it was with the intention of helping?

Ultimately then it comes down to just... allowing oneself to open up to the idea that I do not know ANYTHING as to whether something is right, or wrong, for myself or anyone.

The Course asks us to be open to 'not knowing', as a doorway to knowing. What I see it as now, is that when we're constantly in this tug of war of seeing something as right or wrong, we automatically then leap off that springboard into ego reactions and coping tools and ways of 'doing something about it', all of which is based on us thinking that we KNOW... believing that we KNOW what is going on or why it's happening, when we actually don't.

What the Course is warning us against is FALSE knowing, which is ego knowing - and the ego actually cannot know anything. False knowing is where you believe you know, you have some opinion, you judge it, you label it, you decide something is right and okay, or something is bad and not meant to be this way, and then you proceed to pile extra reactions on top of this. You even make decisions about what to 'do about it' based on this. But this basic perception of ... its wrong. .. or ... it shouldn't be like this. .... that's something WE are making up.

I don't know what's right or wrong for people. I don't know even what's right or wrong for myself. I don't know what's helpful or hurtful. I don't know whether my attempts to fix and save and heal and cure are actually interfering with someone's spiritual growth. I could be doing more harm than 'good' in spite of my belief that I'm helping. Or vice versa, I may be holding back on helping in certain ways that would be truly helpful because of a belief that I shouldn't, or don't want to, or can't love a person enough etc.

So it's like, here is this neutral situation, and then the ego will waver off to one side or another, taking sides, either for or against this thing, and basically go off on a tangent of believing that it knows that this diversion away from 'what is' is based in truth.

It takes a tremendous amount of humility, therefore, to admit truly, honestly, that if we really get down to it, I do NOT KNOW what anything means, I do NOT know what anything is for, I do NOT know whether something that's happening is good or bad, I do NOT know if it's meant to be happening and is helpful or whether it should not be happening and is harmful. And maybe helpful/harmful is entirely an ego-made up idea? How about that? What if there was absolutely no good or bad of any kind? What is everything that's happening, no matter whether I love it or hate it, has absolutely nothing to do with my ego's judgements about it? What if I have NO CLUE about it, other than that IT SIMPLY IS WHAT IT IS?

And what is it that I ultimately REACT to? It's my own perception that I've invented that something is wrong with the picture. I am the one deciding that, thinking I know, when I don't know. And then I react to my own conclusion. I don't really know anything, or at least, my ego doesn't really know anything.

But God knows everything. Holy Spirit knows everything. I guess I should trust Him and let Him decide for me?

I am not weak, but strong.

I am not helpless, but all powerful.

I am not limited, but unlimited.

I am not doubtful, but certain.

I am not an illusion, but a reality.

I cannot see in darkness, but in light.

Let's continue...

I am not afraid, but confident.

I am not confused, but clear.

I am not lost, but found.

I am not false, but true.

I am not alone, but unified.

I am not separate, but one.

I am not lacking, but complete.

I am not guilty, but sinless.

I am not sinful, but innocent.

I am not in pain, but in health.

I am not deceived, but assured.

I am not deprived, but grateful.

I am not dead, but eternal.

I am not hopeless, but joyful.

I am not angry, but peaceful.

I am not worried, but reassured.

I am not forgetful, but aware.

I am not unconscious, but knowing.

I am not pressured, but free.

I am not tense, but relaxed.

I am not upset, but calm.

I am not hateful, but forgiving.

I am not hurt, but healed.

I am not harmful, but a blessing.

I am not ego, but Christ.

I am not a body, but immortal spirit.

I am not blameful, but welcoming.

I am not a liar, but truthful.

I am not pretentious, but honest.

I am not vengeful, but gifted.

I am not forgotten, but known.

I am not rejected, but loved.

I am not abandoned, but supported.

I am not evil, but pure.

I am not a dream, but God's Creation.

I am not a fantasy, but genuine.

I am not suffering, but a blessing.

I am not undone, but immortal.

I am not grieving, but reunited.

I am not lonely, but helped.

I am not sorrowful, but relieved.

I am not stressful, but blissful.

I am not in danger, but safe.

I am not hopeless, but saved.

I am not condemned, but forgiven.

I am not unloveable, but loving.

I am not unhappy, but joyous.

I am not depressed, but liberated.

I am not diminished, but enlightened.

I am not starving, but nourished.

I am not limited, but abundant.

I am not harsh, but gentle.

I am not cold, but heartfelt.

I am not fallen, but ascended.

I am not extinct, but omnipresent.

I am not troubled, but sane.

I am not a sinner, but a savior.

I am not ugly, but beautiful.

I am not without, but within.

I am not a reject, but chosen.

I am not meaningless, but meaningful.

Add one of your own...

Holy Relationships occur when a person recognizes that the other does absolutely nothing to them, nether good nor bad, neither beneficial or harmful, neither special or hurtful.

In specialness, you believe the other DOES things to you, causes you to feel a certain way, pleases you, attracts you, helps you, loves you for you, etc. But along with that they will hurt you, offend you, annoy you, attack you and reject you.

It's always a package deal, because to be at the effect of another you MUST be in the victim mindset even if those effects are something you think you want. You will select someone as special who SEEMS to give you as much of what you want as possible, and as little of what you don't want, but the illusion is that they MUST give you both if you are to be at the effect of them.

If they can do anything to you at all, if you are to "receive" from them "against your will", so that you can be changed by them and affected by them, you are a victim, regardless of whether it seems like a positive desirable effect or a negative hurtful effect.

You do not want to be at the effect of others whatsoever. To do so means you are vulnerable and attackable and dependant and in the ego thought system.

You are meant to be invulnerable, completely causal, never affected by anything, and certainly not at the effect of someone else, no matter how special they seem to be.

If you are to relate to the person in a holy way, you must be whole and complete in yourself, not trying to have them complete you or make up for your lack or do stuff for or to you that you can't do yourself.

It's okay to be with someone and to have support and encouragement and to learn lessons together, etc, which can take a lot of time. That's why you come together, to learn how to love yourself (lol). But the unraveling of that specialness will be the lesson you need to learn, and it may be upsetting at first as the specialness comes into question.

One way or another, special relatioships can turn into holy relationships by the undoing of the "relationship" based in the ego, which is really NOT a relationship. You are not communicating or relating to someone, really, unless you are whole and coming from love. There is a fiction of communication and sharing but its based on mutual hallucinations and private worlds.

Real communication and real relationship and real sharing can only ever be based on love, because only love can be shared. An absence of love is an absence of sharing and is isolation. You can have a special relationship and believe that you are so profoundly affected by another person, yet in actual fact be completely isolated from them and not really genuinely joining with them at all.

To relate from holiness you need to relate to yourself with holiness, and to God with holiness. Then you can relate to the other's holiness and join with their mind. Joined minds are real relationships. Love is the only connection. This is why the Holy Spirit, who is love, is the "highest communication medium", being completely open to share and extend love.

One of the really difficult things about life in the ego world is when you see or hear about something 'terrible', that is just awful, how someone was victimized or mistreated or abused, or how someone was incredibly cruel or harmful. Indeed, natural disasters and wars and terrorism fall into this category.

These kind of things seem to inspire some of the most intensely upsetting reactions. Or to put it another way, they are the most infectious. They are charged with negativity and victimhood and often a low state of consciousness, and upon experiencing them they often seem to be very potent and powerful in tempting us into very strong ego reactions.

Another of the most difficult things to deal with in this world is physical pain and sickness, which makes the body seem very very real, which seems to threaten life itself with a temptation toward death, and instills terror into the hearts of so many people.

Why?

Or more to the point, why do we have, or allow ourselves to have, these significant upset reactions to these kind of events? Why is it considered normal and even compassionate to be horrified, to be upset, to be afraid, to empathize with how people are suffering, to be worried, to feel sorry for people? Is this *actually* compassion and love, or is this the ego at play?

There are many things that many of us actually cherish and protect, about the way that certain events are considered terribly bad, wrong, unjustified, unwarranted, un-asked for. In other words, we sympathize with victims in a really big way.

Obviously no-one with love in their heart wants to see anyone hurting. No-one wants to in any way support the notion that it's okay to victimize or punish. Nobody wants to give emphasis to war or to it being okay to suffer in any way. BUT ..... this is a big and very ego-challenging but ...... there is a huge mutual victimizing and ego-reinforcing thing happening here, which compounds our own belief in being a victim ourselves, takes us away from peace, away from love, away from ourselves and away from God. And that's not really helpful.

Being upset is not love. Feeling guilty for not doing something correctly is not atonement. Feeling sorry for someone is not compassion. It is what the course calls 'false empathy'. Jesus would not feel sorry for you. He would love you and understand you and understand what you're going through and offer comfort and support, BUT. ... he would also want you to realize that there are significant illusions at work, significant ego practices, significant ways in which you are being a victim. This is not in any way to say that Jesus would be mad at you for these 'mistakes'... just that, He knows better, and he wants you to also know better so that you an experience love more directly and not be upset.

The trouble is that whatever we think is real, or is happening, we protect and defend. This is why people defend their pain, or their right to suffer. This is why people defend victims. This is why people want to find the victimizer to be extra guilty so that the "innocence" of the victim is recognized or highlighted. Victims are not innocent, not in that way. Victimization requires an ego and EVERY victim has one, because you can't be a victim without choosing to be on purpose, at some point in time either before this incarnation or during it. And if you choose not to be a victim - truly choose it - nothing can hurt you. ever again.

Anyway. We need to detach from these upsetting things. We need to realize it's an ego trap. The ego loves it when we fall for this. It doesn't serve or help us or anyone.

Believing that evil is real, is a mistaken perception. It's actually a failure to recognize what the so-called evil is. Only in a total lack of recognition, does it appear to be "real evil" at all. Without forgiveness, it seems to take on a kind of authenticity, as if it's actually a viable opposite to God, or some kind of real threat to what is good. But if you see evil this way, it is because you yourself are unforgiving, which means you are the evil one.

It's interesting to realize that evil is nothing but a way of describing someone who is not in their right mind. No-one in their right mind would ever attack or be harmful or anything other than loving. Evil really is just a term for someone who has lost their right mindedness and is now "not in their right mind", ie is insane. This insanity is simply a state of being confused and mistaken about what is real and true. It's a state of false belief, false perception, false values, and made-up fantasies about reality.

So someone who is in that state isn't really evil. It's not like their minds are in a state of wholeness and health and balance but just happen to believe something negative. To hold the beliefs that they do, their minds cannot be whole, they have lost sight of reason, they are in the darkness, are experiencing self conflicting ideas, must be living in fear, and do not know what is real any more.

Such an "evil" person may indeed seem to "do evil deeds", ie to sin in the world, and indeed they may well be vicious and attacking and harmful to themselves and others. But this isn't because they are "really evil". It's only because they are mistaken, confused, lost, in denial, are blocking the love they are, are unaware God loves them, and are trying to hide in the darkness. They are not really evil at all, they are just opposed to God's reality, experiencing what must be temporary insanity.

No one in their right mind would ever choose to do what an evil person would think is reasonable, justified, valid, worthwhile, functional, truthful, and a form of salvation. Such insane people simply have lost sight of what is true and real and now believe that all kinds of illusory made-up things are more true and real. They are therefore simply making an error, and are in a state of being very mistaken.

We can't then really say that such people are evil. When viewed through the same evil distorted perception they will appear to be truly evil, but this is also an unforgiving perspective, not an enlightened one. When you look at the big picture and what obviously must be true of such people, it becomes clearer that they are not really sinners, and there is no real sin. This isn't too much of a stretch because it's simply a fact.

In truth, sin is not real and evil does not exist. So whatever these people are being or doing isn't real sin and they are not really evil. If we can't recognize that, WE must have some kind of illness of our own that is producing false perceptions and making sin and evil real to us. And now we are scapegoating the "evil ones" to try to get rid of our own sinful beliefs about ourselves. Now we're essentially just as nuts as they are, and have become hypocritical in our claim that they are the evil ones and not us.

Anyone who blames the evil ones is just as insane, and looking to take advantage of what they see as a "really evil person", to justify why it's okay to find fault in them. It seems to be "true" that the evil ones are the evil ones, and not me. And now I've gotten away with murder by pinning the blame for my own sinful outlook onto someone else, just because they appear to me to be the evil one. This reveals a lack of sanity on my own part. I'm hardly justified in pointing a finger when there's a log in my own eye. And why am I casting stones when my own mind supports sin being real?

What we have to learn is that there are no sinners and there are no evil persons. Not in God's reality. His Kingdom is purely good and whole and innocent and there is no evil anywhere. And here in the world, these people are not evil sinners either. They are ONLY mistaken people, in error, whose minds are temporarily insane, and who do not know what they are doing. This is why they are forgivable. You can hardly hold anything against them if truly they are so confused that they do not really know what they are actually doing. And being not in their right minds they certainly are out of touch with reality.

So these evil persons are simply insane persons who have lost their way, and who truly must be afraid and calling for love, and who need healing and forgiveness, not more condemnation. They do not need us to make their sins real. They do not need us to compound and imprison them by holding their own mistaken-ness against them. If we do that, we're just as nuts and unforgiving as they are. We are in false perception the instant that we condemn people for what they are not really doing.

"Forgiveness recognizes that what you think your brother did has not occurred."

Forgiveness does not pardon sins or make them real. It does not mistake what we call evil people for "real evil". It does not look at a "sinner" and blame them for actually sinning. It recognizes what they are doing is not sin or evil. What they are doing is merely hurting themselves through mistaken choices and confusion.

Those who seem evil merely have lost touch with what is really true and think that other things are true which are not. And so they choose the darkness by mistake, believing it is the light. Their navigation system is reporting false positives and steering them towards hell and death and sin under the belief that they are moving towards truth and life and heaven. They are deceived and are deceiving. They are in denial. They believe in something that is not what it is, and so worship false Gods and lies. This doesn't make them evil, it just makes them mistaken.

It is our job to recognize that every so-called evil person is not evil. And that every so-called sinner is not a sinner. Because that is actually the TRUTH. And if no-one is ACTUALLY evil, and no-one has ever REALLY sinned, and if these people are just in need of some correction and healing, then we can open up to being more compassionate towards them.

Just as Jesus would, we now can recognize that even the most "evil" people deserve love and forgiveness. He would ask us to love our "enemies". He would stand up for the well-being and innocence of all people even if the world would judge them as sinners. He would defend even a murderer against those who would accuse the murderer of being disgusting and despicable. Simply because he knows this is not the truth of the person, and they have not really done what they seem to be doing. Would you beat down someone who is mentally ill and who does not know any better?

Only blind people who cannot see would accuse blind people of making accurate choices based on vision. And if every case of so-called "evil" falls within the umbrella of "those who are insane", then there is no-one on the planet who is truly evil. And we must then learn that to accuse anyone of evil is really part of our own evil. In our harmlessness we would not condemn or point a finger or scapegoat or project blame or judge or try to justify attack or enact revenge. Those are all signs of someone who is, themselves, full of shit and in need of correction.

God loves all His children. Everyone is innocent. No-one is evil. There are no sinners. But there are a great many insane people who need psychological healing and help because of their confusion. And every one of them deserves to be loved.

If you can no longer describe people as "really evil", this not only lifts away all sense of threat and danger from such people, it also makes you harmless and sane and puts you back into your right mind. No-one in their right mind would believe that anyone is an evil sinner, because sin and evil and death do not really exist. To accuse is to be accused, and accusation is never truth.

Recognizing no one is really evil is all part of remembering the truth, that we are all completely innocent, there are no enemies, there is no "real evil" plotting to destroy you, evil is just a call for love, and it is your function to forgive them for what they are not really doing. Those who seem evil are innocent children of God. And every single one of them is welcomed Home by God with open arms and unconditional love. Love is justified because they are just experiencing a bad dream. And nothing in dreams is true.

Jesus loves "the devil".

You as Christ have not been changed even a tiny little bit by anything that supposedly has happened in the world.

You as Christ are perfect love, perfectly invulnerable, perfectly loved and adored by God, and perfectly healthy. You are absolutely immortal. You stand as a beacon of perfect love shining as a brilliant light and nothing can happen to you.

This is your real identity. This is what is buried underneath layers and layers of bullshit in your mind. False beliefs about who you are. False beliefs about who did what to you.

Nobody has ever done anything to you wholly intentionally in full awareness and sanity. Anyone sane could not harm another. Anyone sane could not do anything to victimize you. If anyone has ever seemed to do anything to you, you are grossly mistaken for believing that they did so on purpose, intentionally, from a completely sane and aware state of mind. They were NOT in their right mind. And it is only by not being in the right mind that a person could even conceive of treating you as anything but the perfect love that you are.

So if there's anyone in your story who has ever seemed to do something to you, and you believe that they did it from a place of rational mind, a place of love, a place of full awareness, you are mistaken. Nobody has ever done anything harmful from a state of sanity and love. That person must be insane, and they must not realize what they are doing.

This is why Jesus says, "forgive them for they know not what they do". There is a tremendous recognition in this statement. It sees that when a person is 100% love, they can only be loving. When they are not 100% love, they enter into illusions and darkness and despair and DO NOT KNOW what they are doing. So they can only act mistakenly, wrongly, incorrectly, and with faulty reasoning or justification.

They can't ever do something unloving from a foundation of perfect love and innocence. So whoever hurt you, whatever they did, they were NOT in their right mind, and this is why they are forgivable. It's only because you believe they WERE in their right mind and that therefore they deliberately chose to do what they did, that they are guilty. They did not choose sanely. THEY were experiencing an unlove, an unworthiness, a guilt, a self-attack, a shame and an abandonment, and they tried to project this onto you thinking you were the same. They were just mistaken.

So you have to peel away all these layers of false belief that you've formed in your mind which still are convinced someone did something intentionally to hurt you. There is no such thing as intentional hurt or willful hurt or intentional victimizing. Victimizing can only occur in the minds of those who believe they are not loved by God and who have attacked themselves already. This is why they act out. This is why they find scapegoats, and maybe is why you ended up being their target. They were not sane. You need to recognize this in order to be able to let go of feeling unfairly treated and blaming them for what they did. Again, as Jesus said, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Underneath all of this, you are still absolutely loved by God, absolutely innocent, absolutely immortal, absolutely unchanged and unaffected by anything in the world or history of time and space. You are perfectly whole and innocent and healed and powerful. You are unassailable, invulnerable, immortal, permanent and strong. Nothing can happen to you. Nothing has ever happened to you. This is the secret truth hiding underneath all of the LIES which try to portray you as having been affected, changed, modified, hurt, damaged, or in any way made to be or mean something other than God intended. You are not any of that. You ARE and CAN ONLY BE as God intended.

You are Christ. You are holy and innocent and free.

Sometimes people try to put you down, condemn you, make you wrong, call you names, claim you sinned etc. They may have a strong opinion, be domineering or power hungry. They may even say something quite vicious designed to push you away, shut you up, or shut you off.

This is always evidence of someone who does not love themselves. They have entered into a split mind where they are projecting, and they believe always that something applies to you that does not apply to them. They point a finger as if it’s not pointing at themselves. It is a very one-sided state. You are wrong, they are right. All the accusation seems to be coming out of them into you. And this makes it seem it’s entirely you who is under attack.

People like this can be difficult to deal with. There is also tremendous temptation to take this at face value and believe it’s happening to you. Or that it even really is about you or has anything to do with you. If you yourself do not love yourself enough, those weak parts of you will be triggered, seemingly hurt, react, and erupt with emotion and upset. You may then believe your experience was caused by them, that they actually attacked you.

If you do love yourself you will be unmoved. If you do not believe about yourself what the person believes about you, you will not be triggered. You will be clear it is not about you. Your forgiveness of yourself makes you immune. It then becomes clear they are talking about themselves, hate themselves, and are in a state of self attack. It also becomes obvious that how the attack appears on the surface is not what it really is.

The person is in a state of not realizing they are actually attacking themselves. They have disassociated from their self condemnation. They are in denial that they are hurting themselves. They are being murderous and harmful because they really believe and perceive that their attack is having no effect on them. They are not in their right mind. Self hate has blinded them, and now they are accusing a brother of their own sins. And they believe they can get away with it. They are unloving toward you not because you deserve it, but because they don’t love themselves.

If you can not buy into this performance, recognizing this attack as a call for love, realizing the person has made several errors, you have an advantage. Their self attack is something you can use to diffuse their attempted projection. It’s now your function to heal them, to love them, by reminding them of what they are ACTUALLY doing to themselves. You can look out for their innocent, holy self. Look at what they are doing to themselves in the interaction, NOT what they are doing to you.

You can now diffuse it by presenting the fact of what they are doing to themselves. Lovingly. To make them aware of how they are not loving themselves. This puts all the attention back on them and makes it clear this has NOTHING to do with you. You therefore are protected by love, cannot be hurt, and no-one can make you lose your peace.

"You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself."

"Purpose is meaning. Today's idea explains why nothing you see means anything. You do not know what it is for. Therefore, it is meaningless to you. Everything is for your own best interests. That is what it is for; that is its purpose; that is what it means. It is in recognizing this that your goals become unified. It is in recognizing this that what you see is given meaning." - from ACIM workbook Lesson 25 - I don't know what anything is for.

The central theme here is that we have all kinds of convictions that we believe we know what things mean, what is right or wrong, what should or shouldn't be happening, whether something should be encouraged or stopped, whether something is positive or negative, harmful or healing, etc. We think we know. But most of this so-called 'knowing', this reliance on a form of knowledge, is actually not knowledge at all.

When it is coming from our ego, it is really just speculation, imagination, false meaning, interpretation, prejudice, judgement, bias, fear, etc.

What this calls for us to do is to be extremely honest about whether we really, really, REALLY actually KNOW that this is the truth. And this is what it really boils down to - we don't want to really examine whether what we supposedly 'know' is true or false, we want to stay in the realm of good and bad and other opposites of duality. If we were to start examining whether it's true or false, now we're starting to discern with Holy Spirit and that will undo the ego.

So we need to get really honest. Do we actually, honestly, actually have access to such sufficient clarity and truth and 100% absolute information, that we can honestly say, we actually KNOW that this is true? Do we really know that someone's sickness is not supposed to be happening? Do we really know that some apparently 'bad' event is working against people's spiritual growth? Do we really know that some so-called tragedy is actually tragic and un-asked for? Do we really know that the world has gone off the rails and our future safety or continuation has come into question? Do we KNOW it? Not really.

There is such a thing as real knowledge, but it can only be accessed through Holy Spirit, who is aware of everything. Without that total awareness it is not knowledge, because something is hidden. The ego is all about hiding from the whole. From the truth. So as we attempt to 'awaken' we're going to have to become really honest in admitting with great humility that we don't really know hardly any of what we think we know.

We've also accumulated vast amounts of information, learning, education, data, facts and figures, research, opinions, etc.. and we call it knowledge, but it's not really knowledge. It's not real knowing. And none of it can help us to be awake. What helps us to be awake is to question whether it is knowledge at all, so that we can at least 'empty' ourselves of all this clutter that isn't really based in reality, and is just covering over reality with made-up meanings and conclusions. We need to uncover the real knowing, the real meaning - God.