If you start with "I'm defective, I need to improve", you will end up with an ego.
If you start with "I'm perfect, I need not change", you will end up with a perfect self.
Most of us start with the approach that we're defective, full of guilt, unhappy, broken, lost, etc.... and then we start seeking on the basis of this premise.
But when you do that, there is huge risk of not questioning the premise itself, which is false. The premise says "there's something wrong with me, I need to improve myself." That's NOT true. But if you believe it, you'll start the "seek and do not find" spiritual journey.
Then you'll be trying to make yourself better, be more loving, have more wakefulness, gain more growth etc. The trouble is, this will cause you to AVOID the real problem. The real problem is your belief that you are defective in the first place.
If you start with "I'm not defective, I only need to accept I am already perfect", then you're starting out on the right foot. And it results in you questioning any belief that says otherwise, without you going off on a tangent based on a false premise.
So it's another sort of paradoxical thing. You have to start out as you mean to finish. You have to start as though you're already at the end, and sort of work backwards to accepting a pre-existing God-created condition of perfection.
If you do it the other way around, starting with lack and guilt and not good enough and all that, thinking this is true, and reacting to it, and feeling compelled to do something based on it, you'll be led astray by the ego. And then you'll become a spiritualised ego.
We've all fallen for this trap. Believing we even NEED to seek for a perfection, or to make it happen, or to construct a better self, when in fact God has already done the hard work.
If we adopt the ego's view that we need to perfect ourselves, then we avoid looking at the fact that we are IN DENIAL. We have DENIED that we are perfect, and this denial is the problem. We have DENIED happiness and peace and love, and the removal of the denial is necessary in order to become AWARE OF it again.
If we are in the business of trying to focus on the positives and the being more loving and more kindness and all these sort of non-denial happy-go-lucky perspectives, then we may inadvertently NOT LOOK at the DENIAL that we have. We may not look at the actual problem - the block to awareness - the barriers that we have built against a PRE-EXISTING perfection.
So in general we have it all backwards. We are looking for something in the wrong place and in the wrong way. The spiritual path is actually back to front. We need to be melting within, going within, finding the truth that God has already put there, finding the solution God has already established, accepting, recognizing, rather than going out of our minds trying to make it, build it, change it, author it, transform into it.
If you can't look at and question the ASSUMPTION of the belief "I'm not perfect", "there's something wrong with me", then you're not really making any headway. The trick is not to answer the question of what you have done wrong, it's to question WHETHER OR NOT you have done anything wrong.
There is nothing wrong with you. You're just pretending, and you don't really need fixing. But your belief that you need fixing needs fixing.
"We will but be making perfect TO you, what is ALREADY perfect IN you."
"To repeat an earlier statement, and also to extend it somewhat, the Soul is already perfect, and therefore does not require correction."
"Whatever is true and real is eternal, and CANNOT change or be changed. The Soul is therefore unalterable because it is ALREADY perfect, but the mind can elect the level it chooses to serve. The only limit which is put on its choice is that it CANNOT serve two masters."
God has created you as an infinite, immortal soul, who is perfectly complete and lacking nothing.
There is nothing that you need to add to yourself to improve yourself or to make yourself in any way better than God created.
You are lacking nothing at all. You are perfect.
God created you as a beautiful soul filled with love and joy and perfectly creative. Fully equipped to exist in Heaven and to extend love forever. You need nothing else.
When Jesus says "There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The difference between us now is that I have nothing else." he is talking about the fact that He is simply being ONLY the Self that God created. He has not added anything or taken anything away. He is being his normal, natural God-created self.
This perfect self is hiding underneath every idea of imperfection, lack, separation, limitation and death. God already has created you with perfection, to be perfect, forever. You are flawless.
And since you are created from creativity and from love, you are endowed with creativity and love. You are permanently miraculous. There is nothing that you cannot create with the power of the mind, in accordance with God's will, to increase the Kingdom.
Somewhere inside you, you know this. There is a place in which your soul is already within you, perfectly holy, undefiled, unchanged, unaffected, perfectly sane, happy and at peace. It's already there. God creates only permanent creations which cannot change.
Your soul is divine, forever. "Spirit is in a state of grace forever."
The ego in you will cleverly point out just how much you are "being ego", in an attempt to compel you to want to "get rid of the ego".
Once you fall for this trick, you will be not only reinforcing the belief that you are not spiritual enough, but will also add to this unspirituality by adding force and attack and sacrifice to your life. You'll "should yourself" and guilt yourself for being guilty.
Feeling bad because you feel bad. Feeling guilty because you feel guilty. Criticizing yourself for being too critical. Attacking yourself for attacking. Demanding you be a better person for not being good enough. These are all ego traps.
The way out is to not believe what the ego is saying is true. Is it true that you are being too guilty, too unworthy, too ego? Is it true that what you are doing is not spiritual? Is it true that you are so behind in your forgiveness? Is it true that you haven't done enough of the workbook today? Is it true that you've been buying into the ego again in a big way? Is it true that you're not where you're supposed to be? Is it true that you are behaving in an ego way and must stop immediately? All ego temptations.
The ego loves to play the role of "spirit in charge" or "teacher of the course" or "spiritual police" or "enforcer of spiritual ways". The ego will always pretend to be separate from itself and to stand apart from itself, so that it can stand in judgement of itself and hand out rules and regulations against itself for how it needs to get into line and conform. It will even do this in the name of being "more spiritual", based on the assertion you are not spiritual already.
It will put on a disguise to pretend it is `not the ego` and then hand down some kind of sentence for how `the rest of the ego` needs to stop being ego. You wouldn't think of this because you're so used to the idea that what one person does to another has no effect on themselves. But the ego's entire mechanism is SELF-ATTACK, and it will happily stand over itself and destroy itself and attack itself in the name of attempting to improve itself. It tells you to get rid of the ego, with vigor, so that you will attack the ego and try to chop it out of your life... all the while enforcing the ego and keeping it.
So when it is telling you to get rid of ego... beware... its a trap, especially if it is making a big deal about just how awful the ego is and how wrong it is to have one.
If we realize that we are immortal beings, we must also realize that we are perfect. Being immortal means living forever, which is only possible if you never change. Being changeless is part of reality, and it's what makes it impossible for anything to happen to you to persuade you away from eternal life.
But upon realizing this you may also come to realize that you are immortal because of God. It is God who sustains you permanently in his mind. It is God who protects you with his infinite power and permanence. It is God who gave you eternal life in your creation. And it is because of God that you live forever.
Then you can go further to recognize that if you need merely acknowledge and accept your true nature, to know thyself, as God created you originally without modification, then it becomes obvious that God already gave you perfection.
When you were created, you were already given everything to make you live forever, be happy forever, be whole and healthy forever, be invulnerable forever. Every one of your immortal attributes is a gift from God.
Then you come to realize that in acknowledging your immortality, you are also therefore acknowledging that you are ONLY immortal because of God. And this goes further to realize that you are ONLY what God wills that you be. It is because of him that you are what you are.
And in this acknowledgement there is the recognition that God created you, God gifted you and gave you, and everything you are and have is from God. And that means, ultimately, that God is you creator or father. So by acknowledging your true nature you automatically start to become aware that you are not only perfect, you are perfect because of Him, and you we already created to BE perfect from the start.
Then it's a matter of appreciation and gratitude to God, acknowledging God as your creator, and realizing that you don't need to DO ANYTHING in order to become perfect. You merely need accept a perfection that God already put in place, and surrender all your attempts to redefine or improve yourself. You need only be as God created you to be and simply be true to yourself.
That's an act of acceptance of the atonement, because now you're simply settling into accepting that you've been perfect from the start, because of God. It's like saying, instead of getting my perfection from the world, I now realize it comes from God. And instead of having to do something to earn it or turn myself into it, I just need to be as God intended.
God has already given me my perfection. I need but accept and receive it and allow it to be wholly true. And accept nothing else as a substitute. I don't even need to do anything to make it true, I just need to let go of trying to make it false.
The things that happen in the world don't really matter. All the efforts to build things, reach goals, assemble cities, improve governments, it's not really the point. It's not why we're here. We're here because we're stubborning refusing to live with God. We have lessons to learn and the purpose is to get to a point where we leave the world permanently. It's not about building a wonderful human civilization on the planet. There is no real benefit to doing that. We're not really supposed to be here. We belong in heaven. This world is just a temporary outpost, a corner in which we're hiding, while we delay being with God. Don't get too comfortable, because it was never meant to last.
"Salvation is no more than a reminder this world is NOT your home; its laws are NOT imposed on you, its values are NOT yours. And nothing that you THINK you see in it is REALLY there at all."
"Yet who can build his home upon a straw, and count on it as shelter from the wind? The body can be made a home like this BECAUSE it lacks foundation in the truth. And yet, BECAUSE it does, it can be seen as NOT your home, but merely as an aid to help you reach the home where God abides."
"The world I see has nothing that I want."
"God's teachers can have no regret on giving up the pleasures of the world. Is it a sacrifice to give up pain? Does an adult resent the giving up of children's toys? Does one whose vision has already glimpsed the Face of Christ look back with longing on a slaughter house? No-one who has escaped the world and all its ills looks back on it with condemnation. Yet he must rejoice that he is free of all the sacrifice which its values would demand of him."
"It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give."
"I did assume a human form with human attributes afterwards, to speak to those who were to prove the body's worthlessness to the world."
"The body is hardly worth the least defense."
"The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?"
Probably most of us start working on a spiritual path from a state of isolation. We see everyone else as flawed or a reason to want to be more spiritual, and so we work on ourselves - separately from them - in hopes that even if they suck, we can improve. We see ourselves as separate with the potential to separately grow.
You might then pursue some spiritual practices, usually on your own, maybe in secret, and maybe only at certain times or under certain circumstances.
But then at some point, you come to realize, you literally cannot become any more spiritual in isolation without bringing the isolation itself into question. The compartmentalization of your spirituality into a little box also has to be reconsidered. And when you allow yourself to 'get spiritual' or connect with Spirit has to shift from 'only when its really needed' to 'all the time'.
So then, it occurs to you, that to move forward in your awakening, you have to open up your spirituality to be more inclusive. You can't continue to have certain pockets of the world that you don't forgive. You can't keep certain people in the dog house forever. You can't withhold forgiveness from key individuals that you especially can't get over. And what you are attempting to access through your spirituality is opening up into an inclusive, shared oneness, which means it is surpassing the boundaries you set up.
So now to go further, you have to realize, as ACIM says, that you have to see everyone as Christ in order to see it in yourself. You have to forgive everyone to forgive yourself. "What you do unto the least of my brothers you do unto me" - Jesus. What you do to one member of the sonship you do to everyone. And what you are entering into as you advance is actually a SHARED spirituality where your identity is actually ONE with other people. Equality. Christ consciousness. Sonship/one-ship.
So at some point you have to confront all of the reasons why you want to keep your spirituality in a box, in order to progress further. You can no longer withhold love and forgiveness from those special-hate candidates. You can no longer think about your awakening as something that happens to you AND NOT other people. You can no longer see yourself as being ABLE to wake up `in isolation` to the exclusion of everyone else. You are waking up TO everyone being awake.
As the course says, we all wake up together. And as Jesus says in the course, until He awoke, the entire sonship was in darkness. And when he awoke, because he was a part of the sonship, the entire sonship woke up as one. And also because Jesus is part of the sonship, this absolutely means (this came to me last night) that Jesus is 100% included in your awakening and will be a PART OF YOU and is actually going to be fully present with you as part of the sonship - he's not just some occasional drop-in that goes away and hides behind a mind-cloud.
No stone left unturned. No person left unforgiven. No grievance left undone. No fear left uncorrected. No love left unshared.
MIRACLES ARE ABLE TO CHANGE PHYSICAL FORMS!
"T-22.III.7. Only mistakes have different forms, and so they can deceive. 2 You can change form because it is not true. 3 It could not be reality because it can be changed."
"Your experience of miracles is proof that you are not bound by loss or suffering in ANY FORM because they can be so easily changed. This demonstrates that they were never real and that they could not stem from Reality. Reality is Changeless and Its Effects cannot be altered. Appearances are shown to be unreal because they change."
Miracles DEMONSTRATE that this world is unreal BY CHANGING IT, to prove that its laws do not hold it in place or determine its nature.
People say, well, this world doesn't exist so there is no point changing it. THERE IS A POINT. You MUST change it to prove that it CAN be changed in ways that this world ITSELF claims is impossible. You MUST BREAK THE EGOS LAWS in order to TEACH (miracles are teaching devices) that God's laws are the only authority.
You are not bound by loss or suffering in any form. THAT INCLUDES PHYSICAL, because all FORMS are energetic or physical. "All thoughts produce form at some level". And since Jesus says that MIRACLES PROVE you are not bound by suffering in ANY FORM, MIRACLES MUST BE CAPABLE OF CHANGING PHYSICAL MATTER.
Your body, the bodies of others, the moving of physical mountains, changing objects into other objects, healing the sick, raising the dead, whatever it is... MIRACLES CHANGE THE WORLD in order to demonstrate that, BECAUSE it can be changed, the world is not real. Miracles are THE ONLY DEVICE YOU HAVE at your disposal capable of doing this.
Miracles do not change the world in order to "make a better world". They change the world in order to PROVE and DEMONSTRATE and SHOW, that this world is FALSE. Thus they lead OUT of the world. When people claim "there's no point trying to dress up the dream or make a better world", this is only because they assume the miracles would "improve your life" and you'd just stay in the dream deluded. That's not their function. Miracles "heal the world" IN ORDER TO SHOW that the world is FALSE, not in order to support the ego, and so this argument is logically unfounded.
Since all miracles that CHANGE FORMS, MUST run contrary to the "natural laws" of the ego (horizontal laws), they must supercede them or act from ABOVE them, meaning that ALL MIRACLES ARE SUPERNATURAL (above ego nature) because they reverse the ego's physical laws.
Using miracles to "change or fix" the world IS CORRECT, given that miraculous demonstrations will always PROVE this world is FALSE, and so lead AWAY from the world, not towards it. To use the idea that you should not change the world with miracles as an explanation for why miracles are pointless, is a misunderstanding of what miracles DO, and their function in SHOWING that this world is not your home. You change the world to PROVE it can change, to PROVE it CANNOT BE REAL because nothing real can be changed.
"The Bible instructs you to "KNOW thyself," or BE CERTAIN. Certainty is always of God."
"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost."
"The world can ADD nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons, but it CAN blind the Sons to the Father if they behold it. You cannot behold the world and know God. Only one is true."
If you know yourself, you are absolutely unmoved by anything. It's like being completely centered. You are unphased, unaffected, undisturbed.
"Truth is not frail. Illusions leave it perfectly unmoved and undisturbed."
"The stillness of your Self remains unmoved"
If you do not know yourself, if you are uncertain, you are moving into doubt and fear. This means you are questioning who and what you are. By doubting yourself, you become uncertain of your identity.
As soon as you're moving into fear, you're now looking for the world or other people to define who and what you are. To tell you what the truth is. To change you, affect you, control you, cause you. It is this alone that puts you in a position of being at the effect of the world and capable of suffering. If you are caused by an uncertain world of change, you must be afraid.
When you know who you are as God created you, you are accepting ONLY GOD as your source. ONLY God is given the power to cause you and define you. You accept yourself AS He created you, with no attempt to modify his will or change what he has created.
What it all boils down to is this. Who is your father? Are you the effect of God, or are you the effect of the world? Even a slight doubt or denial that you are as God created you places you onto a slippery slope into hell.
"Attack in ANY form has placed your foot upon the twisted stairway that leads FROM Heaven."
The slightest step upon the slope, in doubt of who you are, causes you to lose your footing and slip into fear. And then you will see yourself as under laws which are not of God, laws of vulnerability and attack and mortality.
If God created you, you are the will of God, and nothing can oppose his will. This is your immortality, your innocence, your guaranteed sinlessness, and your eternal life. If God did not create you, you are a product of external forces in the world, at the whim of fate, victim of everything.
Only if you are not permanent can you have moved into sin. Your permanent innocence must have undergone a change. Only through change can sin take place, because changelessness does not permit it. If you have changed you have sinned. If you are unchangeable you cannot sin.
You must therefore simply learn to "know thyself." If you truly are absolutely certain of the absolute self which the absolute created, then you are absolutely immortal. If you are in any way only relatively certain then you are relatively weak and relatively vulnerable and relatively mortal. To know thyself is to live forever.
If you are as God created you, you are under no laws but his, and his laws guarantee your eternal perfection. If you believe you have changed and are no longer perfect, then you have condemned yourself to be governed by the laws of spacetime. Whose laws and whose causality will you be under? God's or the world's?
As God knows you to be, that you are. As God created you to be, so must you be. You cannot be anything else. Give up trying to turn yourself into something else, it will never work. Trying to "be whatever you want" brings you all forms of suffering. Be satisfied that you were already created perfect and divine, and nothing can improve upon God's work.
I think I made a major mistake when starting out with the course. It was fuelled by a rather "negative" view of the world, which was part mine, and part that of certain teachers I listened to. In that view, I thought that references to a meaningless world, were references to a the world being inherently bleak and dark and depressing. I also combined various aspects of ego and false perception with the world, binding them together, and then sought to get rid of the whole thing.
This was based largely on teachings by well-meaning people that the world has no redeeming qualities, that it is inherently somewhat negative and pointless, and that the only thing to do is leave it behind. While there is some basis for this, in that the world is nothing, it kind of skipped over the forgiven world/real world and didn't put enough attention on how to reinterpret or repurpose it. And it definitely didn't make much mention of doing anything to improve or heal or save it.
This was an incorrect framing of the world, because I realize now that the world itself has NO meaning, not a negative meaning. Its meaningless is simply a lack of ANY meaning, positive OR negative, and is not inherently anything. And my egoic association of the world with my ego's negativity didn't allow me to "separate out" the world from my projections onto it.
But the course isn't asking us to condemn the world and run away from it. It's asking us to realize the world is nothing at all, but that we've projected false meanings onto it. And when these false meanings are lifted off from it, the world resumes being meaningless. Not negative, or positive. And then we are free to project positive meaning onto it, in which we now see the reflection of God.
This obviously makes far more sense, interpreting the world as a neutral mirror with no meaning of its own. It also changes my focus, from one where I just wanted to escape from "the negative world" and throw it in the trash, to where I can now look at the very same world - its guts, recognizing it as nothing, but project love onto it. That's a profoundly different relationship to it, properly regarding it as nothing but a mirror with no meaning of its own, rather than as bound to ideas of hell.
It changes quite a lot of my perspectives about the course and what it's saying. It also relieves pressure and resistance and negative connotations to things which didn't seem to fit. I can accept then that I can see this world through forgiving eyes because of itself it is nothing. And it also makes it easier to accept that it can be used differently, and can reflect heaven. Obviously keeping it around long enough to allow it to do that can't entail attacking it with misinterpretations of the course.
Eventually when seen as the nothingness it is, with the reflection of God seen upon it, its re-purposing is complete and it is no longer needed as a device to bring us home. We can now wave farewell to the forgiven world and thank it for its temporary usefulness, as we watch it disappear and give way to the gates of heaven.
The key part I think is that a lot of people have completely missed the somewhat subtle teaching in the course that the world ITSELF has no meaning. That it was a projection out, from an idea of nothingness, BEFORE we projected onto it. The whole "projection makes perception" thing came later.
And the world doesn't have to be objectively real or a creation of God for it to act like a neutral mirror and still be a world of illusions. This two-layered projection is completely missed by a lot of people. And some interpret the world as having to be God's creation in order for the "project onto" part to make sense. Which is yet another mistake. So many of us are so confused about this whole thing. But I'm glad now it's becoming ever clearer.
I don't just mean in some abstract way or as a concept. Actual love. Huge love. If you would experience God, it would feel like profound, heartfelt, meaningful, deep, real, relateable love, that feels so true and so genuine that nothing compares to it.
And God is in you and with you. And you are in that love and you are that love.
Here is our ONLY problem.
We've tried to deny that this love is there. We've tried to deny that this love is what you ARE.
Right now, unless you are like super awake to reality, you have no idea the profound immensity of unconditional love that is the experience of God. You've never felt anything like it ever in your entire life and cannot even imagine how powerful it is. It's hidden. It's covered up behind layers and layers of shit in your mind.
The shit in your mind is like a giant toilet filled with backed-up shit that's all swirling around and obstructing the awareness that everything is love. That love is present. You need to FLUSH. The shit is the ego. You've taken a huge shit all over yourself and you need to flush it.
The problem also is, that these so-called 'covers' in your mind, the blocks to awareness, make it SEEM LIKE they actually are capable of shutting out the light. This in itself is completely insane. It's like saying, darkness can make light go away. Like, somehow when darkness is present, it can act as a blanket and shut out the light and stop it from shining. Its completely ridiculous but this is exactly how we experience being on the OTHER SIDE of these blocks to awareness.
It's like being on THIS side of clouds... when its cloudy, it seems to block the sun, on this side of the clouds, even though on the other side of the clouds the sun is completely free to shine. When there is a seeming dark obstacle BETWEEN us and the light, it seems to block the light from the perspective of being IN the darkness looking for the light. If we were to be IN the light, looking at the darkness, we would DISPEL IT. We would recognize it does not exist because light shines away the darkness.
So really we've got all these blocks in our mind that are pretending to make it seem like light has GONE, it's left, God is dead, there's no value in God or any reason to want God. But it's not true, that's the illusion of it. God is NOT dead. The light has NOT been extinguished by the ego. The truth has not stopped. Who you really are has not been affected or changed. You are still as God created you and God still loves you completely.
So when the blocks are there, we think love is gone and all hope of finding it again is lost so we go off on a lonely journey trying to find it but hopelessly knowing that we never will. And we'll look everywhere for this salvation, in everything, and it's not there. And then eventually we'll realize, all the things that say you'll find the light in them, are not true. And that's a step toward going within. And then you'll have to look within and find all these things that are blocking the light. And gradually you'll question their motives also and learn they also are not true.
And then lo and behold the final joyous discovery... underneath all these layers of SHIT that you've gotten rid of and flushed... all the clearing out, all the letting go and surrendering of false hopes and ridiculous beliefs in fake needs, all the sense of lack and loss, underneath it is is STILL the intensely bright shining loving light of God, absolutely unchanged, absolutely unaffected by all your travels, and still loving you 100% unconditionally without requirements or needs.
ITS STILL THERE!
YOU'RE STILL THERE!
You are still the you that God created. You need but UNCOVER this in yourself. You don't need to ADD to yourself, or improve on yourself, or make yourself more of yourself. You're already complete, just in denial and hiding. Stop denying who you are. Stop denying God's presence. Accept the truth and be.