To attack someone you must feel justified in doing so, as though it is what you believe in, is the right thing to do, and therefore becomes a decision you make based on the conclusion you've come to about what is happening any why.

But this merely indicates there is a lack of awareness of the whole truth. The person's mind must have a block to the awareness of love, which is causing them to mis-perceive and mis-believe and come to false conclusions. A lack of information is producing errors, and justifications based on this seem sensible but are mistakes.

No-one in their right mind would ever attack anyone. No-one aware of love would have any justification for anything other than love. Those who attack do not know what they are really doing, to themselves or to others. They are blind and unconscious. They are insane.

All attacks are mistakes. All wars are mistakes. All violence is a mistake. All blame is a mistake. There can never be any true justification for any of these.

Given that anyone believing in attack must be unconscious, insane, not in their right mind, and unaware of the fact they are hurting themselves, ALL attack is forgivable. They simply do not know what they are doing.

This is why Jesus taught to "forgive them for they know not what they do." In other words, EVERYTHING is forgivable, including you.

Sometimes I imagine myself being attacked. You'd think this would be a pretty dumb thing to do.

But if I'm perceiving myself as somehow in need, perhaps because I'm tired/underslept or stressed out, I start to imagine someone nearby coming along and interacting with me. And in that interaction I imagine that they are being needy and they put some kind of pressure on me or are demanding something of me, and I start to get cranky and retaliate defensively. Then I'm imagining how I'm having to defend myself and am feeling attacked and all this, and trying to justify myself, as if it's really happening.

When I then catch myself, which happens sooner than before, I realize that I'm actually having this fantasy entirely 'within' my own mind and it's got nothing to do with that person. Somehow I've split my mind and set up part of myself to be against another part of myself. This indicates to me that I'm believing I'm in need and perceiving myself to be lacking, so I need to get that corrected. I have to admit that I'm doing this to myself and stop it, and maybe I need to ask for Holy Spirit's help here, in addition to taking full responsibility for it.

Now, this is a more obvious example of me having this fantasy of self-attack when nobody is around and it's clearly not triggered by them other than through the suggestion that they even 'exist' nearby (which is enough). But this same mechanic basically plays out regardless of whether I'm provoked or not. Regardless of whether I'm alone or with someone. And when I'm with someone and I'm experiencing this, it seems more obvious to buy into the idea that they're causing it, and to them project blame onto them.

But at all times, this is all happening in my own mind. It's me attacking myself and trying to pass it off as someone else causing it. Silly me. I need to forgive myself and choose peace instead.

I see that, in the end, loss is a form of victimhood. It's not something that can happen to an immortal being. It suggests that something valued has been taken away from you against your will, with no hope of getting it back. Like a kind of attack that has happened to steal something away from you. And now you are bereft or lacking that thing.

If, in light of the loss, you then feel "unfairly treated", slighted, offended, hurt, upset, etc... it means you're buying into the ego's view. A sense of identity that can experience losses, a self that can be taken from, a self that is "aggrieved" and has "grieve-ances" because of a seeming "murder" of a body-person that has taken place. It reflects a belief in murder and death and being at the effect of them. The course reminds:

"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss, and I cannot die. I am not a body. I would recognize my reality today. I will worship no idols, nor raise my own self-concepts to replace my Self. I am in the likeness of my Creator. Love created me like Itself." UrW84L2

Who or whatever is suffer a loss, is not part of me, as an immortal being. If I feel that I am in loss or grief, then my sense of identity is misplaced and I believe I am an ego. It means I'm in a mental illness and lack recognition, and must be playing the role of victim.

"Whatever suffers is not part of me. What grieves is not myself. What is in pain is but illusion in my mind. What dies was never living in reality, and did but mock the truth about myself. Now I disown self-concepts and deceits and lies about the holy Son of God. Now am I ready to accept him back as God created him, and as he is." UrW284

I still at times, at present, personally, have grief and loss. This indicates that I am still playing the game of ego and suffering, an identity which is false and am in need of healing. Until I get there, the only solution typically is to feel the loss and grieve the absence and so on. Like people do. But in the big picture, the end-game is clear - the renunciation of an artificial self, that suffers an artificial loss, and wants the very death that it grieves over.

"You are not sick and you cannot die. But you can confuse yourself with things that do." - ACIM

Who we are is an immortal being. Period. That's all that we are. Immortal and safe and eternal and invulnerable and incapable of being sick or suffering or dying whatsoever.

But we CONFUSE ourselves with things that do seem to suffer and die. We confuse ourselves with a body, with an imaginary world, and with all kinds of fictional things.

Even if it seems the body is sick, you are not the body. But you are producing a sick body which indicates you don't quite believe you are not a body.

See, the body only shows up at all if your mind believes it is "made of" an illusion. It therefore expresses its idea of "self" and it shows up. If the mind believes it is a separate ego thing, a body appears. The more it believes this, the more the body that shows up appears to be sick. When it really binds its idea of self to "body", a dead body shows up.

But even a dead body cannot show up at all without a mind to make a dead body show up. Even if the body is lying there on the ground "dead", there MUST be a mind which is putting that body there, still.

This is the distinction that you are NOT the body and are not that which dies.

But this does not mean that it's therefore okay for the body to die. If the body dies it proves that you must believe in death, because you will ONLY create in like kind according to your beliefs.

Those who believe in immortality only create that which is immortal. Those who believe in death create bodies which appear to die.

And having believed death is real, we will make bodies which appear to be dead as though real, because that's what we believe is truth. Believe it and you will create it.

There are some who believe that in the atonement sick bodies and healthy bodies are all the same illusion - which is true - and that therefor (this is level confusion), when you are in the world it does not matter if your body is sick or not.

It does matter.

The body cannot be sick without the mind being sick.

The body cannot seem to die unless the mind believes in death and victimhood.

A sick/broken/dead body is PROOF the mind has NOT been healed.

A slight belief that you are a body, manifests a slightly sick body.

A stronger belief that you are a body manifests a suffering body.

A really extreme belief that you are a body, produces a dead body.

See how the ego always produces the exact opposite of what it says it is going to do. Believing you are a body should surely produce an everlasting body, right? Wrong. It does the opposite.

Believe you are a body and you will NOT succeed in being a body, you'll produce a dead one.

ie it is literally impossible to be a body, for real.

In ACIM chapter 27 "The Healing of the Dream", section about "fear of healing", Jesus describes forgiveness as REQUIRING physical healing in order to PROVE that forgiveness has been accomplished.

Jesus is LITERALLY saying that if there is really a true forgiveness of someone injuring you, any symptoms in your body MUST be healed in order to make the forgiveness real and to prove that there has truly been a forgiveness. If you retain the symptoms but claim the other person is pardoned, it is NOT a full forgiveness. It indicates you do not FULLY believe that it is forgiven. Forgiveness might well be happening in the mind, but it MUST reflect in the body also! Forgiveness without a miracle is incomplete! Forgiveness that keeps symptoms and retains real sickness is NOT complete forgiveness!!!!!

Quotes below:

"Yet no one can forgive a sin that he believes is real."

"To witness sin and yet forgive it is a paradox that reason cannot see."

"And by giving it, you grant your brother mercy but retain the proof he is not really innocent."

"The sick remain accusers."

"For no one in whom true forgiveness rests can suffer. "

"He holds not the proof of sin before his brother's eyes."

"Forgiveness cannot be for one and not the other. Who forgives is healed."

"And in his healing lies the proof that he has truly pardoned, and retains no trace of condemnation that he still would hold against himself or any living thing."

"Forgiveness is not real unless it brings a healing to your brother and yourself. "

"You must attest his sins have no effect on you to demonstrate they are not real. How else could he be guiltless?"

"And how could his innocence be justified unless his sins have no effect to warrant guilt?"

Jesus apparently isn't just asking us to achieve forgiveness in our minds, but to also demonstrate the truth by removing all sickness from the body.

"A broken body shows the mind has not been healed. A miracle of healing proves that separation is without effect. What you would prove to him you will believe. The power of witness comes from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but testifies to what you teach to him. Your body can be means to teach that it has never suffered pain because of him. And in its healing can it offer him mute testimony of his innocence. It is this testimony that can speak with power greater than a thousand tongues. For here is his forgiveness proved to him."

If we're doing forgiveness processes that don't result in FULL forgiveness, and which don't produce a miraculous undoing of ALL SYMPTOMS and side effects, then you have NOT fully achieved forgiveness!!!!!!!!! You can't just be in a state of "still being sick" and believing that you're done forgiving. We need to take it all the way! 100% undoing!!!!!!

If you as Christ, God's Son, are "one with God", does that mean you do not exist as an individual being/son? Does it mean there is only God and NO son? No. It also does not mean that your "brother" is an "ego idea of separation". Brothers are co-children of the same Father - God.

In not one single one of these statements does "one" mean a count of one.

"This appears to contradict another statement: "I and my Father are one." It doesn't. ***There are still separate parts in the statement, in recognition of the fact that the Father is GREATER***. Actually, the original statement was "are of one KIND."

"This is because ***God and man are NOT equal***"

"The creative power of both God AND His Creations is limitless, but it ***is NOT in reciprocal relationship.*** You DO communicate fully WITH God, as He does with YOU. This is an ongoing process in which you SHARE, and BECAUSE you share it, you are inspired to create LIKE God. But in Creation ***you are NOT in a reciprocal relation TO God***, because He created YOU, but you did NOT create Him. We have already stated that only in this respect your creative power differs from His."

"I and my Father are one with you, for you are part of Us."

"Your Son is one with You in being and in will, and nothing contradicts the holy truth that I remain as You created me."

"Nothing has power over you except His Will and yours, which but extends His Will. 8 It was for this you were created, and your brother with you and at one with you." (oneness is happening at the same time as you AND your brother existing as creations of God!!!)

"You and your brother are the same as God Himself is One, and not divided in His Will. 2 And you must have one purpose, since He gave the same to both of you. 3 His Will is brought together as you join in will, that you be made complete by offering completion to your brother."

"I trust my brothers, who are one with me." (not "who are egos with me"!)

"His Oneness and ours are not separate, because His Oneness encompasses ours." (two onenesses? WTF, OMG, call the the course police)

"Your role in the redemption LEADS you to it, by re-establishing its oneness in your minds."

"And ONLY as you look upon him as guiltless, can you understand his Oneness."

"Nor do they love the Oneness which created them as One with Him."

"In unity with Him do they abide, and in their Oneness both are kept complete."

"Its truth established you as one with God."

"we stand together as one Son of God."

"every heart throughout the universe forever sings as one"

"As a man and as one of God's creations, my right thinking, which came from the Universal Inspiration which IS the Holy Spirit, taught me first and foremost..."

"In this equality is Christ restored as one Identity, in Which all Sons of God acknowledge that they all are one."

"He loves you both, equally and as one."

"When two minds join as one, and share one idea equally, the first link in the awareness of the Sonship as one has been made."

In none of these statements do the "two" cease to exist as two. This does not mean separation persists either. Nor does it mean that "two" always indicates "multiplicity of egos". Nor does multiplicities of brothers created by God in reality mean there is separation happening.

Separation does not mean "counting how many", any more than oneness means "a count of one". Separation ONLY means the attempt to be exclusive, selfish and isolated, in among a large group of individuals with whom you were previously sharing everything.

So many myths to dispel.

"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace."

This means that if in ANY WAY I am not at peace, am sick, upset, unhappy, afraid, in pain, suffering or dying, it has come about ONLY because *I* made a wrong decision. This "consequence" is showing up ONLY because of the power of my own decision. I put it there. I made it happen to myself. There are no other causes. I am responsible for having attacked myself. I decided wrongly and it produced these effects. I must claim responsibility and ownership of this power to choose what I experience and stop blaming others.

"I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise."

This is further compounded in this second line - that *I* made the decision myself. Which means, the secret to salvation, I did this to myself. I am not unhappy because of something someone else did or something that happened to me against my will. I made a DECISION, on my own, which was a poor decision, which was a DELIBERATE decision, to choose ego and suffering, on purpose. I have to own that. I made myself suffer and unhappy. I chose it.

Then once I can see that I own that fully, I can now realize that, in spite of this, I can change my mind and "choose again". Acknowledging that I chose this in the first place puts me in touch with the power to choose. Owning the choice I MADE allows me to own my power of CHOOSING and therefore puts me back in touch with my power to choose a different experience. And whatever I choose, I will receive.

"I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace."

Notice in the early version it says I *WILL* to decide otherwise meaning I actually DO IT, whereas in the FIP version they changed it to "I want" which is somewhat removed from actively DOING it. And so now you are realizing, that you no longer want what YOU CHOSE, you no longer want the suffering YOU MADE HAPPEN, and so now you WILL - choose - actively -towards a more sane decision which will results in consequences of peace instead of conflict.

"I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM."

You now recognize clearly that you have not sinned, and merely have been mistaken. Mistakes can be corrected and they call for forgiveness, not punishment. Therefore you do not need to be guilty, which isn't helping anyone. Guilt is not love or a change of mind. I also don't have to worry about all the giant fuck of a mess that I made, myself, that I did to myself, even if that means having attacked myself and made myself sick or suffering or in pain or half dead.

Whatever the consequences of my wrong decision were, whatever the MANIFEST EFFECTS were, THEY can be undone. AND they can be undone BY the Holy Spirit through supernatural healing means. And the only thing remaining to ALLOW this to occur is my own willingness to LET HIM HELP ME. There is no consequence He cannot undo, including incurable diseases, and including death.

"I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me."

Again this says that I WILL, whereas I think in a later version it was changed to "I choose". We need to realize that WILLINGNESS is very important because it indicates full commitment and POWER. Your choice and your will are very powerful and your mind is powerful. This isn't merely an inert, neutral, powerless small decision. It is a choice to OPT for and CLAIM a different experience. If you change your mind, the whole world must change. You are ruler of the universe! Nothing happens that you do not choose and whatever you choose MUST HAPPEN.

Additionally, when you ALLOW Holy Spirit, you invite him into you, you let him help you, you ask for His healing and you RECEIVE the truth (atonement), He can AND WILL AND DOES come into you and can heal ALL OF THE CONSEQUENCES that you produced in your wrong decision. He can heal all pain and sickness and suffering. And you must be WILLING to let him, to trust him, to allow him, to give him permission, in order to have him take your INVITATION and come in to heal you and clean up the mess.

He is here to HELP YOU and you do not have to tolerate suffering of ANY kind, and you do not have to put up with consequences you caused, and you do not have to stay sick, and you do not have to do this all on your own. Allow yourself to RECEIVE THE LOVE that you now choose and WILL and accept as a sane decision. Love will heal you AND your body.

"There IS no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In any state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it seems like life; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments on what is not life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning. Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is not in Heaven is not anywhere."

Since change is death, and changelessness is life, notice how the ego has arranged the world so that when there is a lack of change, death seems to occur. For example if you were to stop breathing and have no change in the breath, there would be death. And yet this is TOTALLY OPPOSITE to the truth. Because in truth that which never changes is alive forever, and any change indicates that an END has come.

The ego's idea of death is the idea of life. The ego's idea of life is the idea of death. What appears to be life is not alive. And what appears to be only indicated by death is eternity. The entire dream world portrays this inversion of the truth, and has expressed it in PHYSICAL FORM, as a PICTURE of the TOTAL INVERSION of reality.

Death attempts to steer you away from stillness, while "life" disrupts all stillness with its constant modifications and interruptions. Eternity is a constant state of perfectly sustained perfection forever, in which nothing changes because it is constantly perfect. Nothing happens to it, there is no sickness, decay, suffering or death. It goes on forever, because it DOESN'T change, nor does it need to change to be what it is or to last.

All things which change, from the very beginning, have the mark of death upon them. They are inherently forms of death because of the very fact they are born in a moment of the denial of what came before. The fact that "life begins" with non-existence tells you that it cannot have eternal life, nor last forever. And so from its very inception it is doomed to create illusions of life, through growth and progression and morphic alternatives, but inevitably must fail to succeed indefinitely, because it was conceived in the moment of death which we like to call "birth".

This world is back to front, inside out, and upside down. Its pictures represent an attempt to oppose the truth. Every form testifies to the opposite of what it is and thereby acts as a decoy, distraction and temptation to believe anything other than reality. Life is death, and death is believed to be the doorway to life. Cessation of movement is considered lifelessness, and yet total stillness is the fullness of eternal life.

The dream of death, the illusion of life, couldn't be more of a lie in this respect. Its signposts all point away from the truth, using images of guilt, sin, death and fear to warn you off, that if you would pursue anything beyond them, you might discover their lies and instead uncover eternal reality. Be not deceived by what this world shows to you, it was made to tempt you away from your home, not to be your home. Your home is with God, where changelessness and perfection are forever guaranteed. And where everything lives forever.

"Nothing there but shines and shines forever."

LISTENING TO GUIDANCE - DOING GOD'S WILL

At times, I ask for guidance. And I get the guidance. But then I go into a mode of trying to decide whether to follow the guidance, or not, which means I am not really listening to the guidance.

I've noticed that this indicates a state of uncertainty, which is fear, an indecision, in which I am trying to decide on my own, or need to come to some kind of "agreement", or to figure it out "the same way", to come to the same conclusion, before I will accept the guidance.

And what this then really boils down to is, that I am still trying to run the show, trying to be the one who relies on his own strength, his own abilities, to direct the cart and determine where it will go. This basically means my ego is active and I'm interfering with God's will. God's saying hey, I recommend you do this, and then I'm like, well, why?

This constant doubting, questioning, asking why, wanting to know, wanting to understand, wanting to have fact and evidence and information as to explain the guidance, is really a matter of not trusting. I've come to see this more clearly recently. It means I'm not willing to trust and follow or be led, but that instead I am trusting in my own ego.

This is part of being a gatekeeper. The ego in us wants to run everything by it, will not approve of anything that it hasn't decided is acceptable, and will not get out of the way.

I have found this to be extraordinarily frustrating within my experience because there'll be something I'm "trying to decide" about, and will ask for guidance, and will get it, but then will go right back into thoughts of "what's the reasoning behind it".

And as soon as I'm in that mode, I literally am in a mode of "can't decide". It's a mode of indecision. It means that I'm in fear, and it means that I now see two potential choices to select between, one which offers something the other does not, and vice versa. And that also means the two options are incomplete options. Neither of them is whole, because they're both lacking. Which makes it impossible to arrive at certainty and commit to a decision one way or another.

You try to go one way and the other option nags at you for what it offers, making you anxiously aware of what will be a shortcoming of whichever choice you are leaning towards. And then you cannot decide anything, because you know nothing you choose will be perfect. I shift back and forth between the options but can't settle on either one of them.

The solution then is to get OUT of this mode. To get out of thinking, get out of questioning, deciding on my own, trying to control, trying to be the one who figures it out, trying to be the gatekeeper who has to understand and approve everything. To move upwards, towards trusting the guidance, towards trusting Holy Spirit to know better, to listen, and to be willing to follow. And that's not something that the ego wants to do. It has no intention of giving up its position of "decision making".

But I've found this is really the only solution to the dilemma. There is no other way out. Any choice made with the ego is a failure and can't be trusted. There isn't any trust possible because the way forward is split. Only the Holy Spirit knows what's in my best interests so when He guides me, I need to get out of the "why" mode and go into the "I trust this and accept it and will do God's will" mode.

It relates also to not wanting to do God's will. This has been showing up for me a few times lately. We think that God's will is not the same as our own. When we split off from His will we tried to will something different, something incompatible. And that means we now fear that doing God's will means "not doing what I want" or "being forced against my will" or coerced or becoming a slave. If we are not willing to do what God wills, then we'll resist the guidance and get "in the way" of the flow.

We need to learn to be willing to trust that God knows us better and knows what is needed and what will work. And then trust that guidance when we receive it, and be willing to follow it knowing that God knows what he's doing. If we start sitting on the fence, trying to choose for ourselves, trying to choose alone, we're going to go into fear and indecision and fail are choosing. Choices made without God automatically entail fear, unavoidably so. We can't choose without Him and expect to experience certainty, wholeness, a lack of fear, or clarity.

I still struggle to have the willingness needed to always follow the guidance instantly. I don't usually do that. I usually get similar guidance over and over again and can be quite stubborn about following it until I can kind of talk myself around and convince myself of "why". Or, become so exasperated with the frustration of figuring it out myself that I surrender enough to admit the truth that His solution is the best. I hope this will improve, to where I can get a single word and act on it right away. This takes time, and development of trust. Which means learning NOT to trust in your own strength.

To us folk who are not used to miracles, or are not used to the power that we share with God, or the potential freedom of Christ, or the endless possibilities of immortality .... which is most of the planet including me, lol .... we consider miracles to be... "miraculous". Perhaps we are inspired by Jesus's work as documented in the bible and elsewhere. Perhaps we are in awe.

But the thing is, miracles only seem to be miraculous to those who are further removed from miracle-mindedness. And truly, miracles are actually completely NATURAL, and are supposed to be happening all the time. They are in fact supposed to be a normal mode of functioning, in which you have absolute power over all illusions and are subject to no limitations whatsoever, able to bring into manifestation anything you might desire in alignment with God's will.

So it's really a matter of perspective. We are just not 'used' to miracles, so they seem outstanding or awesome or .. miraculous... when in fact they are simply the natural, God-given inheritance that we all deserve and should be functioning in 24/7. Commonplace works of God.

Note that it's important to beware, of thinking that when the Course talks about miracles as. .. not a big fanfare.. it's not because miracles are NOT impressive or important or capable of overcoming all ego limitations, but because they do so ALL THE TIME and we're supposed to be functioning in a constant mode of miracle-working, such that it is second nature at the same time as being 'extra-ordinary'. Another word for this is, super-natural.

Here are some miracle principles from ACIM which back this up:

2. "Miracles as such do not matter. The only thing that matters is their Source." - i.e. they don't matter as such because they're not 'special', they supposed to be normal and a given.

3 "Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love." - Notice they occur NATURALLY, which means they are not really unusual and are supposed to be your normal mode of operation.

4. "Miracles are habits and should be involuntary." - Again miracles are something you can do all the time having learned the 'how' and are practically like just habitual, natural activities, rather than something out of the ordinary.

6. "Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong." - Again miracles are completely natural and indeed effortless and easy for those who are miracle minded. It is normal for the miracle-minded to perform miracles constantly. When this is NOT happening, something has gone wrong, and you can see that the profound ABSENCE of miracles in our lives indicates a LOT has gone wrong.

7. "Miracles are everyone's right, but purification is necessary first." - Miracles aren't for the few, or the special, or the one in a million. They're supposed to be commonly available and achievable by ANYONE. Everyone has a right to miracles.

10. "The use of miracles as spectacles to induce belief is a misunderstanding of their purpose." - I feel the point here is that if you were doing miracles all the time, to bring healing, correction, unlimited supply, abundance, etc... it would be pretty pointless to suggest that they are 'special'. To make miracles special requires that miracles are NOT always happening, such that when they happen it is out of the ordinary and something to shock and awe. When we are truly always miraculous, using miracles in this way actually works AGAINST miracles and suggests they are special and limited when in fact they are completely unlimited in their availability. See also principle 31 "Miracles should inspire gratitude, not awe."

15. "Each day should be devoted to miracles." Each and every day. Miracles. Every day of the year. Every year. Forever.

21. "Miracles are natural signs of forgiveness. Through miracles you accept God's forgiveness by extending it to others." - Miracles are natural signs of forgiveness, natural as in, how things are supposed to be, as determined by God's will for us.

So you can see, our natural inheritance is to be capable of performing miracles, every day, anywhere that they are needed or helpful. 'Miraculousness' is a state of being plugged into God's unlimited power source, his unlimited abundance, and able to bring that forth into any form at will, including the complete healing of sickness, reversal of death, manifestation of objects, being able to walk on water (if you so choose, might be fun), etc.

Once we are 'used' to our miraculousness and have accepted our natural state of being, unlimited and immortal, we would not think of miracles as 'miracles', but merely as, completely natural and a no-brainer. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.