In a higher happier state of mind, mind radiates more light and power. There is greater communication, as in mind directly expressing from a more loving state. In this state, we are more immediate, and more causal. We choose what we want to happen and we literally express that it is happening. And it happens. It is essentially the same thing as CREATING.
In a lower darker state of mind this does not seem to occur. We are too tied up in using the senses to detect whether or not something has happened seemingly 'on its own', which is the belief that the world is the cause. There is either waiting for something to occur, or there is a mocking dismissal of the possibility that what you will could actually happen.
But the mindset we want to get to is that we are causal, we don't look to externals to determine whether something will occur. We simply choose what we want to occur. And in this higher state of mind there is much more expression, much more radiating outward of light and love. You could say, there is an expression from love, or 'miracles are expressions of love' as the course says.
Not that as such these are transmissions of love, but that we're in a more loving powerful state and express ourselves, in various forms. Instead of looking to see if something might be there, or fake a belief that we can make it be there while believing we can't, we adopt a sincere and empowered attitude of direct power. We express, psychologically, an outward expression of thought and belief, which simply chooses what we want to happen. And this is not an asking or a request, it is direct expression. We put it there.
This can only happen when we bypass space (distance) or time (delay) in our belief system. How we're looking has to be much more immediate and direct. We intend.... what we insist and know ... believe... must happen. And it occurs.
Effectively it just means that we're in such a unified and present and immediate state of mind that we no longer act like recipients of whatever the world says we have to be, or what it does to us, or with any sense that the world is choosing for us. We adopt a position of causation and expression, radiating and deciding what will be there. We insist on it, and it is so.
This can I think only occur after much purification and removal of guilt, there has to be freedom and innocence, light and love, wholeness and power. Then you simply regain the natural ability to just will whatever it is that you will to happen, and it literally happens. In whatever form, according to whatever choice. A loving expression rooted in love, steered by thought and put in place by power. The power of decision, with effects.
I see that this requires quite a high state of mind, a lot of freedom, and a great amount of happiness and love. Miracles cannot be performed in a spirit or doubt and fear, or in guilt. Darkness blocks the expression, just as a breakdown in communication/joining cuts it off.
Belief in separation coming in-between (space time) shuts it down and prevent the expression. In other words, if there is a belief in separation (from God etc) it 'comes in between' cause and effect (cause is father, effect is son). And this sort of disconnects your mind from causing effects - there is a 'communicating' (transmitting) breakdown where your creative effort falls short. When cause and effect are more 'one', you are now in touch with the power of dreaming the dream, and can directly cause the dream to change, and minds to change.
To reconnect to that power is literally the same thing as undoing the split in the mind so that cause and effect are reunited, allowing power to put in place .... what is within is without. Expressions which actually produce results. Simply willing from a state of happy loving mind can move mountains and reshape the world. We would call the miracles but they are simple the natural unhindered functioning of a a healed mind choosing what to create.
"Miracles are thought creations."
"We once said there is no order in miracles because they are all MAXIMAL EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE."
"I KNOW that miracles are natural, because they are expressions of love."
"Why is it strange to you that faith can move mountains? This is indeed a little feat for such a power."
When I read in the course that anger is an attempt to make someone guilty, I didn't at first relate to it. I had to stop and look at what happens, what I'm doing, when I get angry toward someone.
And that didn't typically happen all that often, but when it did I noticed it was true, what I was basically doing was trying to reinforce "how guilty" someone was. I was trying to MAKE them be guilty.
In anger there's this attempt to amplify the "guiltiness" of someone. And it's not even really tied to what they appeared to do or the severity of it. We could just be going to town raging at them way beyond what anything calls for. Probably convinced that whatever "sin" they committed is the REASON WHY the anger is justified.
But then the second insight is that in order to make someone BECOME guilty, we actually have to put guilt ONTO them. A guilt that they do not have initially. Where does that guilt come from? We actually provide it ourselves, and hurl it towards them through projection.
So then we see that anger is really "what it feels like" when you are hurling guilt. The whole intensity of it, the enforcement of it, the sense of righteousness, the pushing and forcing, it's all designed to "hurl" and "transmit" guilt onto the person.
But then this also gives rise to a third insight, that if we are hurling guilt at people, and it's not their guilt, then we must be reaching inside of ourselves and finding some guilt there, in order to have something to hurl. So that means... drumroll... we're really the ones that we think are guilty.
In addition this means that the "reasons why" we claim we're being justified in anger are false - it's not because of what someone else did, we're angry because of what we believe WE did. We are accusing them of our own sin and guilt, so that we can try to make ourselves feel better and deflect attention away from the darkness within. This is why anger is never justified and you are never upset for the reason you think.
So if we're the guilty ones, it basically means we're angry at ourselves and have attacked ourselves first. And if we hadn't done this, if we hadn't manufactured a whole stockpile of guilt, we'd have nothing to hurl at other people. We wouldn't be able to FIND other people to be guilty of anything.
This then leads to the fourth insight, that if we were to undo all of our guilt within ourselves, we would never have to even lift a finger to try to find others innocent. We'd automatically be innocent within, and would look out from this innocence upon others and find them innocent also. We'd never be angry, never project blame, and would just be happy all the time.
"I am never upset for the reason I think." UrW5
"ALL anger is nothing more than an attempt to MAKE SOMEONE FEEL GUILTY, and this attempt is the ONLY basis which the ego accepts for special relationships. Guilt is the only need the ego has, and, as long as you identify WITH it, guilt will remain ATTRACTIVE to you." UrT15H10
"Anger is NEVER justified. Attack has NO foundation. It is here escape from fear begins, and will be made complete. Here is the real world given in exchange for dreams of terror. For it is on this forgiveness rests, AND IS BUT NATURAL." URT10G1
The mind, under the control of the ego, is always trying to interfere, make, plan, imagine, fantasize, predict, remember, re-use, figure out, think about, analyze etc.
All of these 'actions' of the mind/intellect are really the same tool being used with different outcomes. All of these uses of the tool of mind in this way tend to block Spirit.
When we're busy with USING the mind as a tool to figure out what to do, or how something might work, or to plan what actions to take, or to try to decide using your own resources (memory, experience, skills, abilities etc), blocks you from RECEIVING divine help and guidance.
What we need to realize is that we don't have to live our lives on our own, or figure everything out by ourselves, or use our own faculties to control outcomes, or to plan based on our own personal knowledge and abilities.
Holy Spirit wants to JOIN with us and HELP us and GUIDE us and to GIVE us what we need. Whether it be information, guidance, direction on what to do, deep spiritual insight on what a problem is really to do with, what needs to be done to heal, or which choices to make. But if we're always relying on our own abilities and being proud of them, we're not going to have room in our lives, experientially, for God's counsel.
It's kind of like, yes, you COULD do this on your own and you COULD decide by yourself and you COULD run your own life, and probably make a partial mess of it, but WHY DO THAT when God could work through you and make everything turn our far better than you could on your own?
I had an 'aha' moment today about being a teacher, i.e. being helpful in this world, which probably applies to everyone.
ACIM says that "those who temporarily have more" give to "those who temporarily have less". This is the relationship of teachers to students.
But let's look at what this means.
The teacher has to be someone who temporarily appears to be more aware of truth than the student. And that means if the student can learn anything from them, the student has to be temporarily less aware.
Being temporarily less aware means you must be more insane, and you must believe in less truth, and you must therefore see truth as the enemy.
So this means that, potentially, the student will reject the teacher, i.e. the teachING, at least at first, because there is a clash of belief systems. The student comes to the teacher IN ERROR, seeking CORRECTION.
What this means for the teacher, is that the teacher will very likely experience REJECTION, conflict, attack, misunderstanding, etc. i.e. a lot of confusion and interference, at the beginning, moreso than potentially at the end AFTER teaching has been accomplished.
So here's the problem for the teacher or anyone who wants to be a teacher. And this also applies to anyone who wants to express themselves more fully, anyone who wants to express something that other people may not be able to accept, anyone doing art or creative pursuits, and anyone trying to say anything that might actually HELP or contribute to the awakening of humanity.
The problem is, that there will be a fear of rejection, a fear of judgement, a fear of abandonment, BY the student, i.e. by the audience. And you hear this a lot like people who are artists being afraid of the 'pressure' to have their art be liked, or a writer who gets a block because they are too worried about the audience's reaction. Or a teacher who wants to share and uplift others but is afraid that the teaching will be ridiculed.
The insight I had, about this, which is very freeing, is this. IF you want to in any way help, uplift, inspire, teach, awaken, guide, educate, or cause people to experience something or enjoy something that you created, there absolutely WILL be rejection. At least at first. There HAS to be rejection by the student otherwise the student wouldn't NEED the teaching. The art critic MUST 'not get' the art, at least at first, otherwise the art really has no transformative
power.
In other words, if you as a teacher/artist/creative etc can ACCEPT, that there is rejection built in whenever you step outside the box or attempt to open people's minds, that THEY will not understand because they CANNOT understand, at first, you can perhaps see that it is not PERSONAL. It is not that they are personally attacking you, it's that their .. 'ignorance'... is resisting exposure to what you are offering. And that only means, that they are not as aware, and they have come to you BECAUSE they are ripe for increasing their awareness. "Those who are to meet will meet" - ACIM .... When the student is ready, the teacher will appear (I forget if that's ACIM or not).
So those who have a potential to learn, at least will find the teachers, or the artists, or whoever is offering the expanded mind. The teacher/artist/expresser should EXPECT that there HAS to be rejection, because the student's mind has not yet opened up to the teaching/offering. And so it's not that the teaching is crap, or the art is crap, or the creation is crap... it's that the viewer hasn't yet opened up to it - and that's because of THEIR mind and THEIR unconsciousness and THEIR resistance. It's nothing to do with what you're offering. And really it should be the PURPOSE of the art or teaching, to help that student transform and awaken out of their resistance/rejection, into acceptance and understanding.
So I guess my insight is, which helps me immensely, is.... that instead of being afraid of rejection, and thus hiding from 'coming out' as 'a teacher', I need to recognize that there will be rejection and why, and realize that it will not actually have anything to do with me. Those who are ready and willing to open up will do so, and those who are not will not do so. I need to DETACH from the ego effort to 'force' or 'coerce' others into accepting what I say, therefore indirectly accepting ME. I need to take the ME out of it. Just put it out there for "those who have ears to listen", and just accept that everyone else will fall into the 'rejection' camp. And this is normal. And it's not personal. And it's nothing to do with me.
Expecting that rejection and welcoming it and knowing that it is because of a person's un-readiness or inappropriateness to be a student, takes the burden off the 'false' expectation that *EVERYONE* MUST ACCEPT YOU. You don't need *everyone's* acceptance. Not everyone is ready. Not everyone is meant to meet you. That's not how the plan works. We each have an appointed function. Talents. Gifts. etc. Or as some people say, "just do you".
I guess in a way this means being unconditional in how you express yourself. Being true to yourself and expressing who you are and what YOUR message is, in the knowing that SOMEONE is meant to receive it, and that everyone else is irrelevant. Which means there is absolutely no reason NOT to express yourself exactly how you want to. With freedom. And not with dependency. So what is 90% of people hate your stuff. Let them. Help the rest.
The truth is an experience, not information. It is not metaphysics.
So as you approach the truth, it's going to be less and less possible to just expose yourself to written truths or concepts of truth and believe that they're actually making you truth-filled. How many truth burgers will you eat before you are full and still hungry?
How many times do you need to hear someone say or quote the ways in which you need to be in order for awakening to happen? How can it happen when all these things do is provide your intellect with information?
Will exposing yourself to some lofty spiritual truth cause you to become awakened? Is it going to rub off on you and give you major insight? When is the truth going to take you out of the intellect into the heart? When does it turn into love?
A major mistake I made many many times is believing and assuming that my intellect was capable of producing an experience of God. I thought that if I could fully and correctly understand the metaphysics or the information, and "get" that understanding, then I would find God. But it did not work. Grasping the information did not produce love. There was nothing at the end of it. It's just information.
The information has to be APPLIED, and used in such a way as to actually change the mind, remove insanity, undo illusions, and bring about an awakening of presence, which is quite different to becoming an expert on the literature or a brilliant quoter or someone who knows what the Course says inside and out. Analysis doesn't produce oneness, it produces separation.
God is being. God is love. Presence. Happiness. Joy. Peace. Information will never give you that. Its only purpose is to point the way and to give you tools for mind correction, so that you can experience reality.
For a long time I thought that if I would just SAY what the truth is, or 'get it intellectually', or be able to describe it, or have the right insight to put some pieces of the puzzle together, then I would .... achieve some kind of goal.
But, really... this never achieved anything other than worshipping metaphysical logic and becoming 'right' about it.
How many times do we really need to explain how and why this illusion all happened, or how the ego operates?
Being able to understand The Course doesn't mean I am now experiencing God. In fact it's quite the opposite.
Understanding the course maybe paved the way to realizing that... understanding the course doesn't bring peace, or God, or love. Knowing what it SAYS isn't the same as experiencing what it points to.
I've had some pretty lofty states of 'consciousness' or at least, high states of very abstract thinking, which I always thought were the way to access the truth. But it's not. Because this is just the ego mind trying to reach up to Holy Spirit's mind to get a taste of it... and because ideas return to their source there is an inevitable 'snapping back' out of it and back into mundane thinking.
What has to happen is this intellectual ego mind has to give way and be seen for the limited device that it is. It cannot and will not ever accomplish an experience of truth. It can only comment about it. It is removed from truth, because it is based in .... at the very least, symbols, if not a further layer of symbolism layered on top of that as words.
Thoughts and words don't make you be with God.
Transcending this ego-intellectual mind and going to be in a different mind, the mind of God/Holy Spirit, is what gets you to experience God.
You have to get out of the ego mind, out of the intellect/intelligence of the ego, out of the ego's thinking ... even if it seems to be very lofty course-focussed thinking. Ego thinking about the Course is NOT an experience of the truth!
We need to let go of this ego mind and all its activities and open up instead to a different mind, level 2 mind - the Holy Spirit's mind, shared with God.
Just because you believe that you are not yet perfect, and are still trying to perfect yourself and attain some kind of 'better you', does not actually mean that you are not already perfect.
In fact, from God's vantage point, He has already finished creating you perfect. Your immortal spirit self, your true self, already exists and is already completely perfect and divine.
And in fact, God has already built into you an appropriate place for you to exist, an appropriate way for you to exist, and an appropriate way for you to express eternal life.
And that means, that you are literally already fully equipped with all of the tools that you need in order to perform miracles, in order to extend and express love, and in order to have perfect divine health.
God is not the one who is lacking and how has forgotten to give you what you need or who has denied you abilities as a miracle worker. You are the one who believes you are lacking and that you haven't been given what you have been given.
Your lack of awareness of the gift God has given you is what stands between you and your ... insight.. that you are perfectly capable and READY to express that gift to others.
You are already capable of miracles. You are already a divine physician. You just haven't realized it yet or uncovered it in yourself or developed trust in it.
God has shown up already for you. God already has your back. God already knows you. God already sees you as perfectly capable. And God has already given you an appointed 'role' as extender of the Kingdom.
You do not need to even be going back to God asking, what is my role, or please give me miracle abilities, or whatever. It's already built-in. You just aren't in touch with it and using it.
And you don't need to be going to God and saying, how do I deal with this stupid situation. God already has given His One Answer as Holy Spirit, you are already poised and pointed in the direction of being the savior of the world, you are already the light of the world, and you already share His power to command miracles of healing and correction. You just are out of touch with knowing that you are already fully prepared or how to wield the power that God has given you.
Step into the shoes that were designed for you to fill. God has already taken care of everything else.
I'm gradually learning from Holy Spirit that figuring out what is wrong with someone is a no-no, even if I think it's part of trying to heal.
I think to myself that I need to figure it out, because it seems like the only way I can really 'fix' it is to know what is 'actually' happening.
I ask a lot of questions of Holy Spirit to try to figure this out, and sometimes he answers but often he gives me a gentle nudge that I'm making a mistake. And all of those questions come up because I am perceiving that the person has a "real problem".
As soon as I think it's really a problem I get flooded with fearful attack thoughts of doubt and uncertainty, which act as though they're trying to find an answer - having thrown answers away.
I think to myself that I should use even my best faculties, my sharpest discernment, or even psychic skills, to determine what 'really' is going on with someone, to get insight into it, and to therefore learn what the 'truth' of the thing is.
But this really just makes the problem real. It's the ego trying to be clever about making illusions real. And, the truth is, that figuring out what is 'really' happening doesn't do anything to undo it. I think that if I can find out this information I'll be able to more correctly heal it or something, but not so.
Holy Spirit simply knows that this stuff does not matter. God heals. God wants to heal already. God knows HOW to heal. God knows what the issue is, what it is based on, where it came from, what it comprises, but most of all God knows that all problems are just illusions.
Holy Spirit just wants to get down to the healing already. He doesn't need to go through a figuring out process. He doesn't need to do detective work as though this is a 'new' problem that he hasn't seen before. And he already has an answer to EVERY problem. In fact, Holy Spirit IS God's answer to EVERY problem. Holy Spirit is the answer to the separation from God, which is the root cause of all problems.
Healing is love. It is one action. It is one method. It is one approach. One answer. One way. One attitude. One approach. Holy Spirit doesn't have 65 different healing modalities. He doesn't have 150 different things to do to different problems. There is love or a call for love, and love heals by loving unconditionally, which means regardless of what the call for love is.
Unconditional healing.
So really, we can skip the diagnosis. All of it. It's all ego intellect. Let's just skip diagnosing and analyzing and figuring out, and get right to the miracles.
After all, what do we want, a longwinded story about how having the problem is riddled with symptoms and suffering, OR... to heal it right now without delay?
It's about getting out of the way, because Holy Spirit is the one who does the healing and he already knows what's needed.
Development of trust.
For me I read ACIM in a fairly straightforward way. I don't think it's really meant to be that hard. It says things in plain enough language, the meaning of which we should all mostly be grasping in the same way.
If I were to say to you, I left the car keys on the table, that doesn't need an explanation. You know what it means. There's nothing more to it.
If the course says to you, God didn't create your body, then you should be like, okay, I understand what you're saying. So my body isn't a creation of God's.
If the course says to you, you are not a body you are free, then your response should be, okay, simple enough, I'm not a physical body, I'm free of bodies. It's not exactly rocket science here.
There are many things Jesus says in the course in a very honest, straightforward, simple manner. He is direct and unambiguous. In fact he says he's taken every effort to try to make things as plain and obvious as possible.
"Like the Text for which this Workbook was written, the ideas which are used for these exercises are very simple, very clear, and totally unambiguous."
"Contradictions in MY word mean lack of understanding, or scribal failures, which I make every effort to correct."
"I have made every effort to use words which are ALMOST impossible to distort, but man is very inventive when it comes to twisting symbols around."
"The reason why this course is simple, is that TRUTH is simple. Complexity is of the ego, and is nothing more than the ego's attempt to obscure the obvious."
Generally speaking if Jesus has done a good job of teaching, then most people who read the course should come away with roughly the same message and learning.
When he refers to things, we should recognize that he is referring most often to the standard things we recognize. Because he's using what we already know and understand to try to teach us.
So if he refers to "the body" you know he's very likely talking about your physical body. Everyone in the world knows what a body is. If he refers to "Earth", you know it's the name of this physical planet. It's not anything else.
Fortunately most people have the same definitions of things and this makes it easier for Jesus to "speak our language" and make his points.
When he says something like, "Earth, which is heaven's opposite in every way", we should be able to grasp that, okay, planet Earth is apparently opposite to and nothing like heaven. And they're two distinct places. There isn't anything more complicated to it.
If he says, "the body is clearly destructible and therefore not of the kingdom", we should be able to very easily glean some facts. Firstly that he's talking about our physical bodies - nothing more strange than that.
Secondly that our bodies are indeed "clearly" destructive - everyone should really be able to grasp and agree with that fact because we've all experienced the proof of it.
And thirdly that because these bodies are destructible, they cannot be a part of God's creation/kingdom. Which means, the body, and the environment the body is a part of, such as the things it feeds on, and uses, and touches and so on, cannot be the kingdom of God.
This is very easy to deduce. It doesn't take much thought whatsoever. Jesus is using our simple language and learning and using it to point is towards truths. When he says for example that "the body is a dream", you know he's referring again to your physical body, and is telling you it's not really real - it's a dream. You can then quite easily conclude that, if the body is a dream, then the body and its environment must be a dream, and not reality.
These kinds of simple conclusions are very easy to come by, and don't take a particularly high level of intelligence to figure out. In fact I think Jesus prefers that we don't have to figure things out so much. "Usability", the ease with which something can be used by the user/reader, has to be high, otherwise we would just become very confused and lost in the course.
There are of course some times where Jesus shows his mastery and genius, his great wisdom and intelligence and insight, and sometimes those things might be more subtle and harder to figure out. But for the most part the basics of the course are NOT difficult or complicated.
Sometimes people reading the course will massively alter everything it says, over-think and over-analyse, read into it all manner of meanings it doesn't haver, distort its message, pull things out of context, not see the bigger picture, and generally lose track of what should be simple and obvious.
I think if Jesus's message about this world, our bodies, our life, our real identities and our home in heaven, required extraordinary levels of scholarship and study, incredible insight and intellectual ability, and extraordinary grasp of subtle nuance and esoteric contexts, then most people would fail and get lost.
And if Jesus's actual message was indeed so strangely nuanced that it seems to actually mean the total opposite of what it obviously says, in which only a tiny handful of people actually grasp it, that doesn't say much about Jesus's teaching ability. In fact it's rather a slap in the face to him, suggesting that he is so awful at presenting information in a way people can understand and follow, that only the elite few are capable of getting its true meaning. And that means Jesus sucks pretty bad as a teacher.
I don't think Jesus sucks as a teacher. In fact I think he is the best teacher, and extremely masterful at teaching, and very carful to avoid confusion and distortion and ambiguity. He presents things very clearly and in no uncertain terms, such that a vast majority of people reading the course come away with the same basic understanding. And that's a good thing, and hat's off to him.
This is why we have to be careful listening to people who have "alternative" views of the course, such as that planet Earth is God's most incredible creation, or that bodies are spirit, or that God didn't create any sons, or other strange things which aren't really in the book. Some people do do this, changing meanings and twisting things and making things fit into existing worldviews. We need to be careful to discern when this is happening and try to stay true to Jesus's obvious and clear intentions.
This is meant to be a simple and obvious course. A learnable course. A useful and practical course. It should not require someone to be among 'the few' who grasp its "real hidden message" in order to make use of it. And indeed if its message is so obscure that hardly anyone sees it, then it's probably not a course worth learning.
God already sees you as forgiven.
First you start by thinking that you need to forgive others. That's not true, because everything you think is about them is really about you. Taking back your projections undoes this error.
Secondly you think that you need to forgive yourself, because it's all about you. But this still relies on the belief that you really sinned. Undoing the belief that you're a sinner leads you to a third insight.
You cannot forgive yourself, really, because you have not really done anything that needs to be forgiven. For you to be forgiven means you must now open up to a forgiveness which comes from God, to accept the Atonement. That you are forgiven because you DID NOT do anything wrong.
That means that God already recognizes that you did not really sin at all and nothing happened. That's not so much something you can do to yourself, as it is simply something you must allow to be true and accept.
At first that seems to be true beyond yourself, because it is God's truth, but gradually the two will become one.
So really you cannot forgive others, and you cannot forgive yourself, and you don't need to. What you ultimately need to do is to accept the Atonement. In the atonement, it is a state of pure forgiveness, which sees that there is nothing to forgive and there are no real sins.
Once you get your mind into that perspective, that everything you THOUGHT you did that needed forgiving has actually NOT HAPPENED, then it's merely a matter of ACCEPTING that you are ALREADY forgiven. Haha!
Therefore it is true that at NO TIME EVER is there a real call for forgiveness or a need to be forgiven, because God has never believed that you are capable of real sin, because there is no real sin. You are forever innocent.
Then you can enjoy the relief, celebration and joy of recognizing that God loves you, you are worthy, you are innocent, you are free, and then you can allow Holy Spirit to undo ALL of the consequences, effects, symptoms and manifestations of your faulty belief.
If you truly BELIEVE fully and strongly that you are forgiven because you have not sinned, and that therefore you cannot be sick and have no need for defenses against the truth, you WILL act to cause all signs and symptoms and "effects" of your wrong decision to be undone, and you WILL demonstrate miracles to reflect and prove that the Atonement is your truth.
True healing is the recognition you have never been sick (sickness is not real).
True forgiveness is the recognition there is nothing to forgive (all is forgiven).
All of the other "steps" in your forgiveness process - the withdrawal of projection onto others, the taking responsibility for having been the one who did this, etc are just stepping stones leading up to the truth. The truth that you are FORGIVEN ALREADY, and that you just need to accept this is the truth about you.
Ultimately then forgiveness is not needed and does not "happen". All of the process of "undoing" is just a preparation of your mind, a purification, allowing you to see and accept that. You can call it a forgiveness or "applying forgiveness" if you want to. But really it is preparation for accessing the truth that you are FORGIVEN and God loves you, and He never stopped.
As the miracle principle says, "miracles are everyone's right, but purification is necessary first". This purification is the preparation for accepting the atonement, which entails great honesty and willingness. When this purification is accomplished, THEN you can access "forgiveness", which is a single unified state of VISION In which you see only that there is nothing to forgive. Then you are miracle minded and the miracles will flow to demonstrate your TRUST that God's truth is true.
All is forgiven!