When you resist something in life, when you can't accept the fact of what is, or what has seemingly happened, when you are fighting with it and don't want it and want it to be a different way, you WILL experience being unhappy.

Resistance itself, causes unhappiness.

As you resist, what is happening? You're putting up barriers, you're shutting down, you're trying to control, you're blocking out what is, you're fighting, you're wasting a lot of futile energy not being able to change any facts, you're draining yourself on impossible wishes, you're running up against reality, etc.. And all of these actions, are experienced AS feelings of unhappiness, feelings of anger, feelings of sadness and fear, feelings of exhaustion, feelings of threat and danger, feelings of intensity and tension.

Now, when you are resisting life, no matter what in particular, what you need to realize is that it is the resisting ITSELF that doesn't feel good. You will resist, thinking that you feel unhappy 'because of' the thing you are resisting. You'll think, you feel angry or outraged or upset 'because of' what you don't want to be happening. Whatever it is that you 'cannot accept', you will say that THAT is causing you to feel unhappy.

This is not true at all.

ALL of the feelings and experiences of unpleasantness, unhappiness, upset, anger etc... all of them are PART OF what it feels likes like to RESIST WHAT IS. And it doesn't matter what form your opponent takes, because ultimately 'what is' is God, and any form of resisting God shuts God out, and that does not feel good at all. If you shut God out, you will shut out love, light, happiness, joy, peace, harmony. So you can be pretty much guaranteed, if you resist what's happening, you MUST feel unhappy and upset.

So now, realize this. .... unhappy feelings are caused by RESIST-ING, not by what you are resisting against. Resistance in other words, is a form of skapegoating, in which you're trying to make out that 'they' - your enemy - are the cause of your problem. That they are causing all of the anger you feel, all of the unhappiness you feel, all of the tension and stress that you feel. It's all their fault. It's all the fault of 'what is' (ultimately blaming God). But this is not only spiritually irresponsible, it is also deluded. What you're resisting against or fighting against is NOT the cause of your upset. The cause of your upset is ONLY, the fact that YOU are choosing to resist it.

That's all. There is no other reason why you are unhappy other than that you are choosing to resist what is, and are then blaming or justifying 'why' you are resisting, onto the other person or situation. It's not their fault that you're resisting them. It's not their fault you are unhappy. It's not the 'now's fault that you are going off into the past and future on a tirade story of how you've been victimized.

Ultimately then, all of the experience of victimhood and suffering and upset and unhappiness is a DECISION YOU ARE MAKING, in order to justify and explain WHY you are choosing not to ACCEPT what is. Why you are not accepting God.

"You are never upset for the reason you think" - ACIM

"You are upset because you see something that is not really there" - ACIM

What you see that you think is there, is an enemy who has suddenly arisen out of 'what is', which you have labelled as wrong, having given it all the meaning it has, and now you are in a state of resisting, which you chose, and because of this choice, you are now experiencing suffering. AND THIS IS ALL YOUR OWN DOING TO YOURSELF.

"The secret to salvation is this, that you are but doing this all to yourself." - ACIM

SOOOOO..... what this means is... and here's the clincher....

*IF* you were to decide to stop resisting and fighting with what is, IF you were to choose to ACCEPT IT, instead of trying to move away from it, IF you were to choose to ALLOW IT, instead of trying to make it be something else, IF you were to choose to WELCOME IT, then guess what's going to happen to how you feel?

You're suddenly going to feel more peaceful, more happy, more calm, more joyous, more free, more empowered, more clear, more alive. All your feelings of suffering are going to just disappear. Just like that. All your upset, all your anger and outrage, all your depression, all your sickness, all your sadness, all of it is going to just disappear because you're choosing to welcome GOD. God is what is. Accepting what is is far closer to accepting God, and God is love, and accepting love HEALS YOU.

So.... realize this..... if you choose resistance, you will INVENT and manifest sickness and suffering, purely because you are resisting. And before you resisted, you did not have any of this. And as soon as you resisted, the suffering showed up. And now in your resistance you are suffering, but you're trying to blame the cause of it onto the thing you're resisting against. It's got nothing to do with that. Resist, you suffer. Don't resist, you be happy. That's all it boils down to. It's a black and white decision.

Either you accept what is and be happy and at peace.

Or you resist what is and experience suffering and unhappiness.

You cannot resist and be happy. You cannot fight and be at peace. You cannot blame and be at peace.

So really nothing is happening to you. The thing you resist is not causing your suffering. The people you don't like are not causing your suffering. The group you didn't want aren't causing your suffering. The suffering is YOUR WAY OF RESISTING THEM.

So you chose it. You're literally doing it to yourself. And the only way to NOT suffer, is to give up your position. You cannot maintain your position of resistance AND be at peace or happy. It is IMPOSSIBLE!

Choices:

a) resist what's happening and be unhappy and suffer and sick and die, you can never win and you will never get your way.

b) allow and accept what's happening and be completely happy and at peace and still not get your way, but at least you are happy.

So resistance is a smokescreen where you pretend to be justified in resisting. But resistance itself is what makes you suffer and is the sole CHOICE to cause yourself to suffer. You say, "I'd rather resist this and suffer and be upset". And then you project it. Your only other option is. ... accept the truth. Accept the facts. Surrender to what is. Allow it

Then you can be happy and at peace. And then what the fuck does it matter what's happening?

Was talking to Holy Spirit last night, and received some unexpected input about miracles.

This is hot on the heels of the stuff I posted from "the mechanism of miracles" which made a few basic points: 1) your brother implements denial to block love and health, 2) this produces sickness, 3) another brother must shine light into their mind to heal them.

So I asked, if someone has implemented denial, how does my love remove the denial? Like, if the person has unconsciousness and a layer of denial and isn't aware of love, put in place by their belief or mind, how can love fix that?

He said, "HEAL".

What then came to mind is that denial IS a state of sickness or LACK. Holy Spirit said it was "loss". And therefore when you love the person it "heals" the loss by supplying love to the absence of love. He also said this "shines away" the denial and restores awareness.

I then wanted to know, while it seemed to make sense that love can heal or bless or restore the absence of love in someone, mind-to-mind, how does this tie in with moving mountains or walking on water or multiplying bread and fish?

He said, "POWER".

What then came to mind is that love is POWERFUL, it is strong, it has certainty, it is like an unstoppable force. Mind is very powerful. "Mind over matter" becomes very emphasizes the more you go towards love.

This also revealed that the ego has tried to make love out to be WEAK, just as it has rendered innocence as VULNERABLE to attack. In truth, real innocence is completely protected (if I defend myself I am attacked etc). Similarly love is NOT WEAK, love is very, very strong. Love IS POWER.

Since love is very powerful, we need to unlearn the ego's teaching that love is just some kind of wet blanket of softness and gentleness and weakness. Love is very strong. Love is integration, wholeness, unified will, focused intention, single-mindedness, and not being opposed. It is very, very powerful.

This power makes it possible to move mountains literally, or to animate the body to walk on water, or multiply objects, or raise the dead etc. It is STRENGTH in the truth. Love is energizing, miraculous, powerful, healing, effective and firm. As you increase the love in you, you become more powerful and capable of doing these kind of miracles. Just as Jesus says that some healers have healed others but not raised the dead, due to faith not being whole. When faith (trust in love) is not whole enough it makes it seemingly more difficult to perform the more advanced miracles.

What I then asked about is, if we are to SHINE OUR LIGHT into the minds of others, does this mean that all healing miracles are directly "mind to mind"? He said "essentially". Your mind is not only capable of shining into other minds but also enlightening other minds. You can supply the love they are missing. You can heal them directly FROM your mind TO their mind, bypassing the body entirely. You can restore them to health in MIND and this reflects physically. The change in their mind and the undoing of their denial alleviates the denial they had, the block is shone away, which automatically results in health and healing of the body as a result of their mind being healed. So we should target love/healing at the person's MIND.

One thing I've been trying to practice lately is to PRAY for someone in such a way as to be very sincere and LOVING, to muster as much love as possible, to ask for love to be sent and for the person to be loved. To just shoot for the highest level of love and lovingness. This seems quite effective.

"I am not weak but strong"

"I am not afraid but all powerful"

As Jesus says, "it is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive". Here he means that it is the privilege of those who have RECEIVED LOVE for themselves, to be ABLE to express love toward others to GIVE THEM the love and in turn heal them. To be forgiving is to be loving.

TL;DR: "love people!"

As I lay down to rest, I started to get a stream of insights about miracle working.

If you ask God, e.g. "God please heal that person's broken leg", this is already starting on the wrong foot.

The thing is, the broken leg is not the problem. The broken leg is just an effect, a projection, of something going on that is hidden from sight. Something in the persons mind.

It doesn't matter what it is, what physical problem, be it a broken leg or brain damage or a weak heart or cancer or diabetes or swelling or whatever. They appear to be physical problems, but this itself is a temptation. In fact, seeing these things is actually UNFORGIVENESS. It is false perception. And there is nothing healing about that.

The broken leg isn't really what "needs healing". There isn't really something "lacking" in the leg. Instead, we need to think towards where the problem is and what it is.

"The body cannot heal, because it cannot MAKE ITSELF SICK. It NEEDS no healing. Its health or sickness depends ENTIRELY on how the mind perceives it, and the purpose that the mind would use it FOR."

"If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgement or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick."

"The mind makes this decision as it makes every decision responsible for the condition of the body."

"The central lesson is always this; that what you use the body for it will become to you. Use it for sin or for attack, which is the same as sin, and you will see it as sinful. Because it is sinful it is weak, and being weak, it suffers and it dies."

As implied by miracles, "miracles supply a lack". We're also told that a miracle worker weakens a brother's belief in sickness by strengthening the holy spirit in them. We're also told "miracles are energizing" and "miracles are expressions of love."

So what it is that's really lacking? What is the deficiency or the thing that needs resolving? There is not enough love in the person. They have a lack of love, which is fear and sickness. It shows up in the body as sickness.

The body kind of symbolizes the mind's condition. So as the body seems to "wither" and "grow old" and "weaken" and seem like it's dying, it's really a SYMPTOM of a mind which is lacking love. The mind's power or light has become weak. It has lost strength.

Similarly we're told that we're supposed to be "shining" some kind of light into the other person's mind:

"The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, ***the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs***, because that light IS theirs."

"The mind WE share IS shared by all our brothers, and as we see them truly, they WILL be healed. ***Let YOUR minds shine with mine upon their minds***, and by our gratitude to them make THEM aware of the light in THEM."

"Our brothers ARE forgetful. That is why they need your remembrance of Me and Him who created Me. Through this remembrance you can change THEIR minds about themselves, as I can change YOURS. ***Your minds are so powerful a light that you can look into theirs and enlighten them***, as I can enlighten yours."

"***The miracle-worker begins by PERCEIVING light***, and translates HIS perception into sureness by continually extending it, and ACCEPTING ITS ACKNOWLEDGMENT. Its EFFECTS assure him IT IS THERE. The therapist does not heal; he LETS HEALING BE. "

I am continually, continually reminded and prodded by the Holy Spirit, that the ONLY thing you need to perform a miracle is LOVE. Love has the power of God in it. And love IS light. Miracles are also EXPRESSIONS of love, like the shining of the light into the mind. So it makes sense to say we are to "broadcast love into their minds" in order to heal them. We are to SHINE INTO our brothers to heal them.

The focus then isn't at all on picking out symptoms or physical ailments and trying to "target" them. Those things should actually take care of themselves and be automatically healed, when the CAUSE of those symptoms is corrected. The CAUSE is the "lack" of love, light, energy, power, in the person's mind. It's seemingly lacking because they are blocking it and have thus reduced their own light, so they now need your HELP to increase their light FOR them.

The Holy Spirit is the only Therapist and HE is the light that extends through you into the mind of your brother. You are to "inflame" and "magnify" the Holy Spirit in a brother's mind. To increase it in him.

"When a brother behaves insanely, you can heal him ONLY by perceiving the SANITY in him."

"This holy relationship has the power to heal all pain, regardless of its form. "

"Since thoughts do not have to be conscious to exist, your brother does NOT have to be AWARE of the Holy Spirit, either in himself or in you for this miracle to occur. He may have dissociated the call for God, just as YOU have. But the dissociation is healed in BOTH of you as you see it in him, and thus acknowledge its BEING."

A key thing to realize is that love isn't just love. Love and light are ALIVE. Real light is literally alive. It has eternal life and radiance. It is strong and vital and powerful. This light is the light of God because "All love is of God" and "There is no love other than God's love". So to give love is to GIVE LIFE, which produces resurrection.

"Miracles mean LIFE and God is the giver of life."

"Miracles are a spark of life."

In essence, if you think of a person as a living entity made of love/light, and if a sick person is someone who is denying their own LIFE and diminishing it, and this "absence of life" shows up as sickness and forms of death, ("sickness is but a little death"), then the lack of love that you SUPPLY to the PERSON, to their mind, shines light INTO their mind for them and supply the lack of love, which in turn heals the mind. This, by cause and effect, then causes their body to regain life and vitality.

"The mind being sane heals the body."

"Now is the body healed by miracles."

It is the spark of life/light in your brother that needs to be amplified in order to bring "healing" to their mind and body. So if you think of them like a candle, it is your job to supply a lack of light, to the candle, to increase its brightness. To shine or pour or extend extra light INTO the mind so that it brightens. This brightening automatically heals the mind and body. You empower, energize, uplift, and strengthen, your brother by giving him the love he deserves.

"In many, only the spark remains, for the great rays are obscured. "

"For the little spark that holds the Great Rays within it, is ALSO visible, and this spark cannot be limited long to littleness."

"Miracles are given by those who temporarily have more to those who temporarily have less". What is it that you temporarily have MORE OF? It is the light and love in you. It is the strength in you. The truth. The power of God which you host. The light of Christ. You who temporarily have more give what you have to another, supplying the lack of love, and invigorating and resurrecting them from the inside out.

There is also hidden benefit to this giving of love. If you yourself have some love to give, but you yourself also need healing, to the ego this would mean you only have so much and cannot exceed what you have. But in experience, this isn't what happens. In fact, as you begin to give the love you have, and continually transmit it to another, send it into their mind, enlighten them with it, it in fact HEALS YOU as it passes "through" you. And the more you work on sending it, the more YOU get healed as well. It uplifts both of you.

"Miracles benefit both the giver and the receiver."

"he is healed along with you."

"Forgiveness is not real unless it has brought a healing to you and your brother."

"Miracles are the maximal service you can render ANOTHER"

Even if you start off slow, or lacking, the more you focus on sending love, in particular, EXTENDING GOD'S LOVE, the more your own mind lights up with the light of love and both of you are healed. So in fact you can HEAL YOURSELF, by GIVING the love of God to another. You can give yourself what you DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE (having blocked it on you), by giving what God has TO another, repeatedly, so that it heals you and lifts you up as you do so, reawakening your own love.

Ultimately it is God who supplies the miracles. "Miracles are a universal blessing from God through me (or you) to all my brothers." The Holy Spirit is also the mechanism of miracles. He has the power of heaven and earth. You are a host to them. You have to acknowledge that they are the SOURCE of all power, light, and love. "God is the light in which I see." "God is my strength" "To recognize that all power is of God is to gain all power" etc. "You are forever a host to God." The light, love, life, strength, power, will that is IN you, God put there, for you TO GIVE.

"To all who share the love of God the grace is given to be the givers of what they have received. And so they learn that it is theirs forever."

"The love of God, for a little while, must still be expressed through one body to another. That is because the real vision is still so dim. Everyone can use his body best by enlarging man's perception, so he can see the real VISION."

This must be acknowledged and your function or role must be filled, as the light of the world. Which is, that you are an extender of God's Will and healing. "You share the Holy Spirit's function on Earth." "Your function on Earth is healing." "What the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly not of this world."

To do this you have to work on undoing your authority problem, because you have to be willing to allow God to be the source of your power and love (your creator), and recognize yourself as a CHILD of God, and as a co-creator/extender/relay of God's Love. Then through expressing love/light/power/will/strength/truth you can reflect your co-creating function in heaven while you're here. You more or less don't need to "do" much.

"The power of God and not of you engenders miracles."

"You do not do them." (they are done through you)

Or rather, you must not interfere, and you ALLOW and TRUST the Holy Spirit to do the healing while you transmit and hold the light. For this to happen you have to have developed trust in Him and allow Him to be in you, you must DEPEND on Him and be willing to LET HIM heal through you. This will mean having to put aside ego and purify your own mind, accept some atonement and forgive, so that you can be a functioning transmitter of God's light.

You ARE required to be very loving and fearless and strong while you do this, otherwise you cannot allow the power to move through you.

"Miracles cannot be performed in a spirit of doubt and fear."

"Love goes out because of what it is, but you are needed that it can begin."

So what it boils down to is, extend a crapload of God's love to another person. Directly to the person. To their mind. To their soul. Take what God has GIVEN you, and GIVE it to another. Bypass the body. Don't even pay attention to the current physical state of the person because that's based on where they USED to be at, and it's secondary, and doesn't need "direct" healing. Empower and resurrect them from the INSIDE OUT, and this light will automatically radiate out from them and bring healing to their body as THEIR mind lights up with strength and life.

The light in your mind, which is God's light, must shine/extend into another mind, to heal it. Offer God to your brothers. Open up your mind like a strong flashlight and shine into someone. Join with them by going INTO their mind and glowing your love there. Remind them of the living truth. Light them up and love them directly, mind to mind.

Experiments are in order! Go to it.

This is a pretty awesome section of the clarification of terms. Some important key points made here:

1. "In this world, because the mind is split, the Sons of God appear to be separate. 2 Nor do their minds seem to be joined"

2. "The term "soul" is not used except in direct biblical quotations because of its highly controversial nature. 3 It would, however, be an equivalent of "spirit," with the understanding that, being of God, it is eternal and was never born."

3. "This Will is always unified and therefore has no meaning in this world"

4. "Right-mindedness listens to the Holy Spirit, forgives the world, and through Christ's vision sees the real world in its place. 3 This is the final vision, the last perception, the condition in which God takes the final step Himself. 4 Here time and illusions end together."

5. "Both this world and the real world are illusions because right-mindedness merely overlooks, or forgives, what never happened."

6. "Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice."

7. "Consciousness has levels and awareness can shift quite dramatically, but it cannot transcend the perceptual realm."

8. "At its highest it becomes aware of the real world, and can be trained to do so increasingly. 6 Yet the very fact that it has levels and can be trained demonstrates that it cannot reach knowledge."

--&--

C-1.1. The term mind is used to represent the activating agent of spirit, supplying its creative energy. 2 When the term is capitalized it refers to God or Christ (i.e., the Mind of God or the Mind of Christ). 3 Spirit is the Thought of God which He created like Himself. 4 The unified spirit is God's one Son, or Christ.

C-1.2. In this world, because the mind is split, the Sons of God appear to be separate. 2 Nor do their minds seem to be joined. 3 In this illusory state, the concept of an "individual mind" seems to be meaningful. 4 It is therefore described in the course as if it has two parts; spirit and ego.

C-1.3. Spirit is the part that is still in contact with God through the Holy Spirit, Who abides in this part but sees the other part as well. 2 The term "soul" is not used except in direct biblical quotations because of its highly controversial nature. 3 It would, however, be an equivalent of "spirit," with the understanding that, being of God, it is eternal and was never born.

C-1.4. The other part of the mind is entirely illusory and makes only illusions. 2 Spirit retains the potential for creating, but its Will, which is God's, seems to be imprisoned while the mind is not unified. 3 Creation continues unabated because that is the Will of God. 4 This Will is always unified and therefore has no meaning in this world. 5 It has no opposite and no degrees.

C-1.5. The mind can be right or wrong, depending on the voice to which it listens. 2 Right-mindedness listens to the Holy Spirit, forgives the world, and through Christ's vision sees the real world in its place. 3 This is the final vision, the last perception, the condition in which God takes the final step Himself. 4 Here time and illusions end together.

C-1.6. Wrong-mindedness listens to the ego and makes illusions; perceiving sin and justifying anger, and seeing guilt, disease and death as real. 2 Both this world and the real world are illusions because right-mindedness merely overlooks, or forgives, what never happened. 3 Therefore it is not the One-mindedness of the Christ Mind, Whose Will is One with God's.

C-1.7. In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. 2 Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. 3 Consciousness is the receptive mechanism, receiving messages from above or below; from the Holy Spirit or the ego. 4 Consciousness has levels and awareness can shift quite dramatically, but it cannot transcend the perceptual realm. 5 At its highest it becomes aware of the real world, and can be trained to do so increasingly. 6 Yet the very fact that it has levels and can be trained demonstrates that it cannot reach knowledge.

Forgiveness is a high state of mind, aligned with the Holy Spirit's vision, in which you SEE and RECOGNIZE everything for what it truly is. That which is true is recognised and accepted as true, while that which is false is recognised and rejected as false.

The problem is, when you are lost and confused amidst various mental distortions, delusions, deceptions, convictions, being a victim and seeing yourself as a body and other such things, that high state of accurate truth that would set you free is "inaccessible."

So then you have a paradox. The very state of mind you need to get INTO in order to be free from the delusions of the mind and its suffering, is only a state that you can reach AFTER the delusions have stopped. The very forgiving viewpoint needed for accurate perception and recognition, is hidden behind all the clouds of deception and lies. So how do you navigate out of the ego mess you've made when you can't see straight?

First thing is you should ask the Holy Spirit to help you before you even attempt to forgive, and ACIM tells you you should be doing this every time:

"Never attempt to OVERLOOK your guilt BEFORE you ask the Holy Spirit's help. That is HIS function. Your part is only to offer Him a LITTLE willingness to LET Him remove all fear and hatred, and to BE forgiven."

So you are supposed to ASK FOR HELP first, because you're so lost and confused you don't know the way out of your insanity. Then having asked for help, you RECEIVE help, by being willing and open. Particularly a willingness to be mistaken about what you believe, and willing to move closer to the truth.

Then the Holy Spirit can help you. You should find that as you then begin to try to unravel the tangled mess of your ego victimhood, your mind is going to take a different course - the Holy Spirit can and will influence your thinking and cause you to come to insights and conclusions and realizations and perspectives quite effortlessly.

Like your mind just starts to open up and flow on a kind of slipstream of inspiration, on a path that leads quickly upwards. This is the Holy Spirit enlightening your mind, and it works in realtime AS you proceed to work through your dilemma. As you have willingness and receptivity to find a way to the truth, He helps you along and lifts you up.

Eventually you'll want to get to the place where you can see clearly that the beliefs you had were mistaken, the guilt was unfounded, there has been no sin, and therefore there's no need to keep supporting the victimhood and suffering that you were choosing. Then in that atonement-view you can let it go.

"Ask then His help, and ask Him how to learn forgiveness as His vision lets it be. You are in need of what He gives, and your salvation rests on learning this of Him."

"To keep it for yourself to solve WITHOUT His help is to decide it should remain UNsettled, UNresolved, and lasting in its power of injustice and attack."

"Prepare for this each morning, remember God when you can throughout the day, ask the Holy Spirit's help when it is feasible to do so, and thank Him for His guidance at night. And your confidence will be well founded indeed."

If someone you know is identified with the ego, they actually believe that the ego is their 'self'. Whether it's that the ego is being vicious or guilty or angry or fearful or playing a victim or whatever, the person believes THEY are this.

If you then try to speak any truth to the person, or to convince them that they're mistaken, or to offer insights or healing or to fix them, or to feed 'input' of any kind of greater truth to them, they will not be able to accept it.

Even though you are not really targeting the person - the self - but rather, the ego that they are associated with - the person still believes THEY are the ego. So any attempt to 'get rid of' the ego in them or to heal them or help in any way, will be experienced as you attacking them. And they will resist. Even if you have their best interests and highest good at heart and are just trying to help them to see the light, they will take it as an attack.

The ego can be quite vicious especially when it is confronted with truth in any form. And when the person is identified WITH the ego, they will experience it as though this truth is offensive to them. They will not want your 'help'. It's not that it's not helpful, but if the person can't separate out who they really ARE from the possessive, absorbing, blood-sucking parasite that the ego is, they're not going to be able or willing to listen. Then the person's reluctance to accept help, to seek help, to want help, or to get out of their own 'death wish', will be met with you feeling extremely frustrated in your efforts to 'save them'.

So this is what it really boils down to. We're not meant to be working on transforming the ego, or waking the ego up, or making the ego spiritual. We need to wake up FROM the ego. And that's very different. To wake up FROM the ego you HAVE to go through some kind of transition of identity. You have to transition away from believing in and associating with ego as your sense of 'self', leaving the ego's mind behind, and shifting your sense of self over to Holy Spirit's mind. It's a matter of pulling away from/detaching from the ego and realizing IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

Same goes for the other person. They need to gain enough 'awareness' about the truth of who they are in order to not be LOST in believing that they are the ego. And if they are quite lost, it may take some time for them to 'wake up' from its possession of them, or rather, their doing-it-to-themself unconscious absorption into it.

So you have to be careful when you're trying to help others. Those with ears to listen with listen. But when they are too 'close' to the ego, you have to be extremely sensitive and careful about implying or making it seem like 'they' - the self - are the target of your offering of healing. If the self takes it to mean that you're trying to 'get rid of them', they will naturally resist, and that's totally understandable. No-one wants to be undone.

Love heals. But love is gentle and kind and patient.

It can be very important for your life to totally fail sometimes. It's good for the ego to totally fuck up.

It is important that you come to realize that what you've been trying to do DOES NOT WORK.

You will initially feel like this is absolutely the worst case scenario, where everything is falling apart and going to shit, and nothing is working how it's supposed to.

BUT...

This is very important.

It means you will come face to face with the fact that your ego method of dealing with things is completely flawed. And, there is an extremely powerful (yet painful) potential in that.

Only when you can fully ADMIT to yourself that your ego behavior is flawed - such as an attitude of trying to fix and save everyone - believing you are the source of everything - thinking you have authority and control over your life - believing you are in charge of your existence - when these FAIL you STOP BELIEVING that these approaches work.

You surrender them. Possibly on your knees. In tears.

And it seems right then that you are absolutely at your worst, BUT, you are mere millimeters away from something truly marvelous.

Because, when you DROP the ego tools that you have come to realize do not work, you surrender trying to do this all yourself, you withdraw all of your conviction and value and faith from these broken lifestyles, and this puts you in a position for SOMETHING ELSE.

And guess what... that something else is then ready to come flooding in. If you've seen clearly that trying to fix everyone is fundamentally totally flawed because it just makes the situation WORSE, then.... naturally... the opposite must be true. Stopping fixing must HELP.

But it's more than this. Ultimately it means, you are coming face to face with your authority problem over God, the power you think you have over your life, and you are FORCED to surrender it.

You think this is terrible, like your life is destroyed. But then you realize... wait a minute.... there is another option open to me. What if I let God be the authority? Wait a minute.. what if God has the power I've been trying to have and I can share it with Him? Wait a minute... what if I can actually be happy if I stop trying to do this myself and I instead align with His will? .... all these popcorn insights start to fire off as you suddenly realize that your ego strategy was actually a CLOSED DOOR which was shutting out the EASE of being with God, making your life difficult and driving you nuts.

So now you rip the door off its hinges, the light floods in, you suddenly realize THERE IS A BETTER WAY, and hey presto, suddenly you find real relief and your will has become aligned with God's will. And now you can actually enjoy the journey of returning to God and heading in the direction of union with God, rather than always trying to run the other way. Yay!

So your life fails... its a blessing in disguise. Looks awful, feels crap, you don't want it, but you don't realize what it's leading to. It NEEDS to fail, so you can be set free.

I had a stream of realizations and insights and healing this morning, into how I used someone else abusing me as a way to deny God's love. It has to do with the "key to salvation" - which is that I "did this to myself". I'm skipping way ahead to the conclusion so I'll explain how I got there.

Years ago I was abused by someone close to me on more than one occasion and it hurt a lot. Emotionally I felt hurt, rejected, abandoned, unloved. I was angry at them and could not forgive them, nor did I want to. I thought it was all about them and what they did to me.

The past week or so I've been having intensified emotional releases (cries) really tapping into the core of these feelings. I wasn't in any way ready to forgive this. Sometimes you just have to feel the feelings fully first because the intense 'energy' really pulls your awareness away from any kind of clarity or willingness. And especially resisting releasing hurt feelings blocks any kind of desire to have insights. So I felt.

This then gave way to some readiness to take a closer looks so I invited Holy Spirit to help me to look at it. I looked at what the person did and how that made me feel. I saw that it made me feel unloved and unworthy, just feeling bad about myself like I wasn't good enough to be loved. Guilty. Sinful. But I knew that somehow I must've had a hand in these beliefs - that I must've gone along with them somehow. I was willing to admit that I believed and agreed to these views of myself. Since the other person was withholding love, it must've meant to me that they didn't believe I was loveable so I went along with that and saw myself that way.

But what I then saw was that this belief in unworthiness/unloveability wasn't just some kind of description of myself, but that it had BECOME myself. I believed it was WHAT I was - as though I was somehow made from unlove. I still at this point couldn't see how the other person being abusive could in any way be helpful to me spiritually, but I was willing to let Holy Spirit continue to guide me toward that awareness.

As I saw myself agreeing to the suggestion that I was unworthy - the 'proof' that I was unworthy - I began to realize this couldn't be true because, at least in theory, I am worthy of God's love. So I started to then go over some of the things I believed, but in a context of it being not true. So for example, it's not true that I don't deserve love, it's not true that I am made from unworthiness, it's not true that I am abandoned or rejected, it's not true that I don't deserve to be happy. A few things came out of this including the belief that I didn't deserve happiness, didn't deserve to express myself, wasn't allowed to be myself, should be afraid of expressing myself or being free in case it happens again, being afraid of punishment, etc. So I added these to the list of what is not true.

It was then that it started to dawn on me. I knew that in theory God wasn't the one who rejected me, and that it was me who had been denying God. Suddenly it was clear - this supposed belief in unworthiness, and the supposed scenario of it being put in place by someone else's abuse, was in fact a COVER UP. I actually wanted to believe I was unworthy. I wanted to believe I was not loveable. I somehow did not WANT God to love me. I saw that I'd chosen to believe I was not 'made of' loveable material so that I could demonstrate that what I was wasn't loveable by God. I was trying to prove that God couldn't love 'this' by portraying myself AS unworthiness, AS unloveable-ness.

And with this it became clear also, that I HIRED and USED the abusive person to not just do stuff 'to me' but to do it to me FOR ME - on my behalf. At some point I organized events so that this person would come along and be abusive because I wanted to have a way to JUSTIFY and explain and rationalize WHY I am not loveable. I hired them to act the part and play the role. And I had been blaming THEM for being the perpetrator when, all along, it was me that had ASKED them to do this. This was the key to unlocking the illusion that I'd been *unfairly* treated, victimized, or attacked against my will. Clearly if I wanted this person to be an attacker and to reject and hurt me, it would ALLOW me to position myself as not worth the love of God - so that I could fulfill my hidden agenda of denying God's will and being separate. Jeez.

So now it was possible to simply acknowledge/recognize the innocence of that person - to overlook seeing them as sinful or guilty (forgiveness) - that they had not done this to me against my will. And this is where the next thing came to me. If the attacking person is not guilty because I hired them to do this on purpose, because I wanted to be able to justify why I should be separate from God, and if God also was not involved because He remains unconditionally loving at all times... then... who is there left to pin this on? Who is responsible for this? I AM. When there is nobody to blame and I can see the choice I made... it was ME. I did it.

I saw myself as 100% totally responsible for having chosen this, having organized it, produced it, made it happen - in effect, as having requested it, WANTED it, and chose it. I did it to myself on purpose! I wanted to be unloveable so that I could be what God does not want so that I could have an ego life. The whole purpose of my conspiracy was to scapegoat the attacker so that I could cover up the fact that I 100% chose this. I can't very well keep blaming anyone else when I can see clearly that I asked for it, literally. So what did this leave me with?

If I'm 100% responsible for trying to deny God on purpose, and for arranging attackers to give me reasons to PROVE why I am separate from God, so that I can JUSTIFY my failure to forgive, then that means... I'm the one left holding the baby. I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who DID THIS TO MYSELF. And with nowhere else to go, and nobody else to scapegoat, and no way to blame it on God, being able to see I did this to myself made it immediately obvious what the next step would be. It was ridiculous to keep doing this. It was stupid to have done this in the first place. I simply had no choice but to ADMIT I made a mistaken choice, to STOP making this painful fruitless choice that I no longer wanted, and to LET IT GO. I could not let it go if I still wanted it, and nobody was forcing me to do so for any reason - I had to be willing to choose again, to decide, to surrender this choice I'd made on my own and let Holy Spirit choose for me.

The truth was I had been trying to deny and reject God with my secret plan and that I did not want to be worthy of love. I had always thought I had umpteen reasons why I wasn't worthy enough because of other people or wasn't able to be myself freely in case someone abuses me or whatever... And all along it was really secretly me making EXCUSES for why *I* didn't want to be loved anyway. It was all because of what I was doing to myself. It was all a smokescreen to cover up my decision to not be loveable. So. .. To let that go.... FREES ME, not because I'm somehow freed from other people's tyranny, and not because God suddenly changed his mind, but because there really WAS no one else making me be unloveable other than my DECISION to be that way.

I can choose again. I can choose to stop doing this to myself, this silly game, since it is FUTILE, and I DO NOT LIKE IT, so I can just drop it like a hot potato. And what's the result of that.... Accepting and admitting that I AM LOVEABLE and WORTHWHILE and perfectly accepted already by love. It was never about me not being actually loveable, it was always about ME DENYING the love. Denying God. Pretending there was a reason to not be loved. It's bullshit. I admit it.

So freeing - to set yourself free - to realize you were free all along. To reclaim love and be free to be who you really are. Game over.

This also interestingly parallels the discussion about the fact that we choose death - that all death is suicide. The truth was that my unloveability was MY DELIBERATE CHOICE because I WANTED to deny God. Everything else was a coverup job. This is the death wish. The decision to be beyond love's reach - beyond life's reach. And the reversal of this wish for death is a choice to BE ALIVE. This is a reclaiming of and a step towards accepting immortality. Immortality is already the truth, it's just a matter now of removing all of the denial and deliberate choices made against it.

Jesus's redefinition of terms continues to amaze me. When you suddenly realize that he has a whole different MEANING to a term, it suddenly opens up a whole box of insights.

For example "The world of bodies is the world of sin. For only if there were a body is sin possible." Jesus says that bodies are needed for sin. But you might think, sin came before guilt and made the world. But no. He's saying that sin is more like an all encompassing term describing ALL illusions and the ENTIRE ego world of death. Wherein everything was designed to BE sin. ie, sin is like a way of proving that illusions are real. And ALL illusions, by their seeming reality, proven by laws of physics and by "evidence", testify against reality.

A better definition of SIN might be, that "twisting" or "distorting" of reality and truth, which results in what is true and false being swapped, and what is real and unreal being confused. It is "the evil" that seems to turn reality into illusions, and make illusions seem real.

"Sin is insanity. It is the means by which the mind is driven mad, and seeks to let illusions take the place of truth. And being mad, it sees illusions where truth should be, and where it really is."

Here he says that sin is insanity, and so the whole ego thought system can be said to be sin. It's the way by which there is a distortion in what is true, where true and false are confused, and real and unreal are confused. So it's not just that you commit a crime and call it a sin, it's actually that the entire physical world is deeply rooted in sin - the attempt to prove that illusion are real. The whole world is an attempt to do this. Even the rocks and grains of sand. This is because:

"The world is false perception"

And all false perception, ie distortion of mind, inaccurate perception, believing that illusions are real, thinking that death is life, thinking that what is false is true, is what the physical world is composed of. It's laws are literally the laws of sin and death.

"Sin is the home of all illusions, which but stand for things imagined, issuing from thoughts which are untrue. They are the "proof " that what has no reality is real."

Here he tells us that ALL illusions are rooted in sin. And so "the world of bodies (the illusory world) is the world of sin." The WHOLE thing is sin. Which is why Jesus refers to the physical world, the veil across the face of Christ, as "the granite block of sin". By its laws, it acts as a mechanism for manufacturing "proof", through "physical evidence", which is maintained in order to testify that sin is real and has happened. All of the worlds happenings, seen through unforgiving eyes and insanity, are sin.

"Sin "proves" God's Son is evil; timelessness must have an end; Eternal life must die."

What this means is that, the fact that ANYTHING can seem to die, is A SIN. It's sin embodied as proof of death. Dead carcasses, dead flies, dead humans, dead planets. It was all made to try to make sin, ie "separation from God", or "that hell is real and heaven is not" be the new truth.

"A madman's dreams are frightening, and sin appears indeed to terrify. And yet what sin perceives is but a childish game."

So all dreams, the whole dream world, is made of sin.

"The body is the idea of sin made flesh and projected outwards."

"Sin gave the body eyes, for what is there the sinless would behold?"

Sin, or, the physicalized material laws of the ego thought system, resulted in the eyeballs.

"Except for God's teachers there would be little hope of salvation, for the world of sin would seem forever real."

"And FROM this error does the world of sin and sacrifice arise. This world is an attempt to prove your innocence, while cherishing attack."

"It translates the world of sin into a simple world, where justice can be reflected from BEYOND the gate behind which total lack of limits lies."

"ITS effects are changelessly eternal, BEYOND fear, and PAST the world of sin entirely."

I looked upon a woman who seemed to be sick. She seemed to have problems. In my mind I observed her problems and regarded them as "being there". I thought that she was her sick body. I started to imagine what was becoming of her and what it might lead to.

Jesus stepped in. He corrected me. "Do not condemn her."

Although it seemed like I wasn't doing anything at all, that I was "just observing" passively what she was apparently choosing for herself, Jesus clearly saw otherwise.

I realized then that if *I* choose to believe in what I am seeing and BELIEVE that the person actually is the sickness that they are trying to portray themselves as, I am falling into false empathy and condemnation and am IMPRISONING THEM further. I am holding the person in prison by AGREEING WITH THEM as to their apparent condition, because their condition is once removed from their REALITY as an invulnerable immortal spirit.

I have to realize, the person IS NOT their body. Bodies are separation devices.

From this came an exploration of ideas and insights which blew my mind.

I asked of Jesus, is it true then that we are supposed to overlook absolutely ALL FORMS and not be blinded by them and not BELIEVE ANYTHING that we see suggested by forms, believing only in total perfection and divinity of all people at all times? Is it then that this entire world was set up to blind us so that if we bought into it, we would be failing to overcome the separation ourselves, and that therefore we MUST learn to overlook ALL of it - to not see people as bodies at all - in order to set ourselves free from this TRAP?

Jesus said "yes".

And so, as it turns out, we quite literally have to learn to SEE, by learning to STOP seeing/believing the blinding illusions presented by form. Physical form is a LIE. It is a huge distraction. It affirms things which are not true in God's reality. When a person shows up appearing to be sick, in body, if we believe it is "how they are", we have fallen for the trap. We have bought into the lie that "they" are the body and that "they as the body" are sick. And that therefore this is reality.

As soon as we do that "passive observing" of other's plight, we are condemning them, judging them, attacking them, reinforcing their sickness, accusing them of sin, believing in separation, and are also attacking ourselves. We then will experience that we are attacked BY and WITHIN this perceptual state. This is why "sight of sickness" horrifies.

It is very challenging, it seems, to not believe that people are bodies at all. To recognize that the only truth about them is NOT what their body says. That people are actually spirits TRAPPED in bodies and the body is NOT the person. The body covers up the person. It is a fictional wall of attack, an obstacle to peace, designed to present an illusion that we are NOT ALIKE, due to the appearance of form. "Nothing so blinding as sight of form" literally applies to ALL FORMS including bodies - we are blinded by the physical and must learn to completely look past it to the brother who is hidden by its deception.

That means also recognizing, that no matter what form seems to present to our eyes - be it sickness or death - we are to NOT BELIEVE IT. And in this not believing the lie, we will stop EMPOWERING IT, and therefore will recognize its nothingness, and thus gain POWER OVER IT to heal and dispel any illusion through miracle working. We cannot work a miracle if we are buying into the lies. We are just as much in need to healing when we believe the sickness is real. This doesn't mean to pretend that sickness in the body is not present or to not bother healing it... it just means to RECOGNIZE what it is (an illusion) and to then demonstrate that it CAN be changed, to prove it was an illusion.

This is pretty radical. It's huge. It means to be miracle workers and truly accept atonement we HAVE TO learn to stop believing forms, stop believing in the physical, stop seeing people as bodies, stop holding their bodies against them as a form of injustice, stop identifying WITH our own body or identifying others AS their own bodies. That sick person IS NOT THEIR BODY. "I am not a body I am free" is the eventual culmination of that. It's no small statement, it is absolute and requires TOTAL FORGIVENESS.

Forgiveness overlooks form. It overlooks sin and death. It is the basis of miracles. It overlooks bodies. It allows the mind to extend naturally and be healed and capable of healing. When we join mind-to-mind there is healing, and the body's condition MUST follow suit because the mind is responsible for causing the body's conditions, be it happy ones or hurtful ones.