Everything about the ego appears to present one way that you can win, and one way that you can lose. It always suggests there's some way to get away with something, to escape the effects of something. To be the victor, to get without giving or give without getting. To be free of problems which still exist, or to find a kind of loophole where, if you just play this game the right way, with skill and education and careful selection, then you'll escape from suffering and find salvation.
Of course it's a bullshit lie.
This world is setup with duality, in which there appear to be "opposites". This is because this world is made from the idea of "an opposite to love" or an opposite to heaven or God. "Earth and heaven are opposites in every way."
It therefore contains opposites. And those opposites *seem* to always be far distant from each other, having nothing in common with each other. Did you fall for that by the way? To the observer, we are blinded by "form", especially given how forms all appears to look different and unalike. Who would suspect an apple and an orange ARE the same thing.
But this is a vast illusion.
The whole point of these oppositions and differences is to get you to believe that there IS a difference, between choosing one thing or choosing another. That some choices are better than others. That if you take this side or that side you will be safer or richer or more successful or less threatened or happier or more spiritual or whatever.
It's a trap folks!
It's a trap because no matter which side you choose, no matter which option, no matter which pill the red one or the blue one, no matter which side of a war you take, no matter who seems to win or lose, no matter how clever you are or how intelligent or how successful you are at navigating the world and making "the best stuff happen", you are LOSING.
You always lose whenever you take any side, whenever you buy into the illusion of differences, whenever you think there is one thing you want in this world more than another. Whether it be that you adore the puppies and kittens and cute babies, moreso than the ugly dogs and cats and old people. Or whether it's that you like your state's teams to win and for the others to fail. Or whether it's that you are right in an argument and the other person is a loser. Or whether you are filthy rich or filthy poor.
ALL of these options are designed to get you to do one thing and one thing only.
To settle for some PART of the world, at the exclusion of the rest, so that you will make that part special (special love) and reject the rest (special hate).
The sole purpose of this to the ego, which has absolutely no concern for whether you choose A or B, is that you choose at all. That you differentiate between illusions. That you become selective and that you want to accept only some thing and not others. That you will take a side and be against something else.
The result of this "choosing between illusions" is that you choose separation. You emphasize the ways that one illusory form is better or worse than another. And this drives a rift inbetween the two. It makes one thing look like a horrible attacking enemy, and another look like a glorious savior or hero.
So we're left with the rather uncomfortable truth, that everything in this world has been designed by the ego to be a losing situation no matter what you choose. No matter which side you're on, or who wins or loses, you still lose. You lose because as soon as you believe the illusion of separations and differences and appearances and forms, you are buying into the ego. And that's an instant loss.
Whether you prefer sunsets or sunrises, the ego has some news for you. Whether you like cats more than dogs or democrats vs republicans, it doesn't matter. If you believe in the difference that appears to distinguish them as opposite to or not the same as each other, you are buying into the ego. And that means you are believing that accepting only part of the whole is better than accepting the whole. So now you've gone from wholeness to partiality, and that's a reduction in how much you there is left, so you just destroyed yourself.
The sorry fact is, this world was set up so that there is NOTHING here that's going to save you. And if you choose any of it, ANY of it at all, you will suffer. This is the deep meaning behind "this world holds nothing that I want". It's also why happy sunsets and kittens are just as much an ego temptation to want to keep some things and not others, to keep you in the dream, and to keep you from wanting God.
Could this world offer you anything that you want, if the TRUE CHOICE is not between crappy bullshit ego substance A, and crappy bullshit ego substance B.... but rather, between ALL of the crap, and God? That's the only real choice you can make. Do I want a world of opposites where nothing is wholly satisfying and you are guaranteed to lose because everything is a compromise/tradeoff, or do you want wholeness and fullness and satisfaction and completeness, with nothing missing and everything welcomed equally?
"Beyond this world there is a world that I want."
"No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth."
"This world holds nothing that I want."
"M-13.4. God's teachers can have no regret on giving up the pleasures of the world. 2 Is it a sacrifice to give up pain? 3 Does an adult resent the giving up of children's toys? 4 Does one whose vision has already glimpsed the face of Christ look back with longing on a slaughter house? 5 No one who has escaped the world and all its ills looks back on it with condemnation. 6 Yet he must rejoice that he is free of all the sacrifice its values would demand of him. 7 To them he sacrifices all his peace. 8 To them he sacrifices all his freedom. 9 And to possess them must he sacrifice his hope of Heaven and remembrance of his Father's Love. 10 Who in his sane mind chooses nothing as a substitute for everything?"
THIS IS HUUUUUGELY IMPORTANT!!!!
"To the Holy Spirit, it is the fundamental law of sharing, by which you give what you value in order to keep it in your OWN minds."
"To have all, give all to all."
"Atonement as a Lesson in Sharing. Atonement is for all, because it is the way to UNDO the belief that ANYTHING is for you ALONE."
This is a MASSIVE and far-reaching truth, which is very simple but very profound. It is literally the means by which you can be healed and perform healing. It is the rule for how you are able to receive love.
The ego's laws are opposite to God's laws. It's idea of giving is loss. Here's how the ego thinks...
You are empty because you have nothing. You cannot give anything because you are lacking. If you were to give, you would lose even more of what you have. Since you have nothing, you cannot give anything. Giving anything means losing it. Giving fully means having nothing left. Giving is sacrifice and to be avoided otherwise you will deplete yourself. To give is to lose everything and to die. If you give all of yourself you will cease to exist. Therefore, keep everything for yourself and do not share it.
This is completely opposite to God's thought system, which goes like this...
You can only give what you have. When you give, it proves that you must have it. Anything worth having is shared by everyone. To prove you have something you have to give it. Giving it means you have it to give, which means you still have it after giving it. Giving it away gives it to another, while you retain it also, meaning you both now share it, and it has increased. Giving everything you lose nothing. Giving does not deplete you, it supplies you because it increases your supply. Giving away what you value makes it stronger in you and allows you to keep it. Giving brings you to life and resurrects others. Give all of yourself and you will gain eternal life.
God's system works this way because, strange as this may seem, in reality nothing is just "static". Love isn't just something that sits there glowing. Love has to be extended, it has to be given, it has to shine. Love is a kind of transfer and SHARING process. It cannot be for you alone and it must radiate and go OUT. If it does not go out, it is not SHINING, and without shining it is not extending, and without extending it becomes dull, inert, lifeless, darkened and depleted. Love by its very nature IS GIVING, otherwise it is not love.
Love to be what it IS must be shared and given. This is why God Himself HAS TO CREATE through sharing, so that He can maintain HIS radiance and continue being loving. He can't just sit there fiddling with his belly button. He has to extend and radiate in order TO SHINE, in order to give, in order to HAVE. If God were to stop giving he would cease to exist. Extension and creation are the natural function of all things real. They MUST be given and go out and increase. Otherwise they have no life and they cease to exist.
This is contrary to what we are used to in this world. We think that objects are concrete solid things which we transfer and lose, that giving them away we lose them and cannot keep them or share them. This is a highly unnatural state of affairs because all of spacetime was designed to function OPPOSITE to how God's world functions. We are used to the idea that everything in this world exists "in and of itself", separate from other things, and can exist independently WITHOUT sharing. In fact the ego asserts that the only way for you to have anything is to NOT share it. To grab it for yourself before anyone gets it, which is selfish.
"The ego is the idea of selfishness." (not sharing anything).
But the trick is, and this is a HUGE thing, anything REAL is totally opposite to that. You cannot HAVE anything real WITHOUT sharing it. Whether it be atonement, love, peace, happiness, life, joy, creation, power, unity, relationship, holiness, forgiveness, healing, ... whatever the attribute of truth and life, anything of God HAS TO BE GIVEN AWAY in order TO HAVE IT. And giving it away INCREASES it, and causes you to not only have it but to also have MORE of it.
It's kind of like, everything that's real is like a FLOW. You have to switch the tap on. If the tap is closed there is NO water. When the tap is open, the water flows out and it is now being both given out of one end and received in the other end. As giving happens, receiving happens. As you give anything REAL away, you GAIN it. As you share an idea, it is strengthened and increased. As you LOVE, you FEEL MORE LOVED. As you PROVIDE what others lack, you GAIN. This is God's law. This is how it works.
"By denying his mind any destructive (selfish) potential, and reinstating its purely constructive (sharing) powers, he has placed himself in a position where he can undo the level confusion of others."
All things that are real are devoid of SELFISHNESS. All things that are real MUST BE SHARED. They cannot be ONLY for you. You cannot possess reality or love or happiness. If you WANT any of the divine properties or virtues, you HAVE TO be willing to SHARE them. You share them by EXTENDING them.
Even mind, the minds that God created, have only a single function. Their only function is EXTENSION. Mind HAS to extend. Mind does not just sit there in a box being a static observer. Mind must FLOW the spirit.
"The only function of spirit is to extend God's being."
"The arrest of the mind's extension is the cause of all illness, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND'S FUNCTION. Block this, and you have blocked health because you have BLOCKED THE MIND'S JOY."
The mind and the spirit's natural condition is one of GIVING AWAY EVERYTHING. In fact God, in His creation of you, gave you EVERYTHING that He had. The ego would claim that if God were to give you everything of Himself, there would be NOTHING LEFT! In fact, for God to FULLY create you, He SHOULD Have ceased to exist afterwards. But this is ridiculous. God did not DIMINISH by creating you, God INCREASED CREATION by ADDING YOU to Himself. And He did this by SHARING Himself.
"Nothing real can be increased except by SHARING."
Sharing is giving. Sharing is NATURAL. Sharing is the law of God and of everything real. Sharing does not JUST mean "I have it and so do you". It means GIVING. You supply what you want to have. You give what you want to get. You have to give in order to HAVE. This is a fundamental law. If you do not give what you want to have, you will LOSE IT. If you do not GIVE LOVE, GIVE LIFE, GIVE HAPPINESS, GIVE PEACE, you will LOSE IT!!
You are a LIGHT. Light must shine in order to BE light. It has to radiate and go out. It has to be given. If you do not SHINE, by GIVING your light to others, offering yourself, shining into their minds to join with them, to give illumination TO them, YOU will fail to shine. And in your failing to shine you will HAVE NO LIGHT. And if you have no light to give, it is BECAUSE you are not shining it.
The ego lays a trap for you. It suggests that if you are feeling alone, unhappy, unloving, darkened, weakened, lacking, needy, afraid, etc... there is no way to solve it. It insists that because you are "this way", you HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE. And therefore CANNOT shine. And therefore ARE NOT LIGHT. If you believe this, you are stuck. If you believe how things APPEAR when you "seem to be lacking", you will believe you CANNOT LOVE, because you NEED love and DO NOT HAVE IT. This is a lie.
What the ego does not know is that you have free will. And your will is capable of ASSERTING itself at any time, freely. And that means you can CHANGE your mind. And it also means therefore, that even if you SEEM to be lacking love, or lacking supply of anything real, and have nothing, and are empty, you CAN GET THE MOTORS RUNNING, you can KICKSTART it, you can GET THE JUICES FLOWING, by WILLING to do so. And you will to do so by having a little willingness TO love, TO extend, TO give.
When you do this, it applies the power and force of your mind to SHIFT the stickiness, the blocks, the lack, the appearance of nothingness, and starts to MOVE the "energy". You start to FORCE yourself to shine, in a sense. And thus you start to emit light and love. And as you do so, your supply increases FROM God. Because by giving anything OF God, it is increased and is strengthened in you. So if you assert yourself, by GIVING LOVE AND LIGHT to another, you will find that YOUR mood uplifts and YOU feel happier and YOU get healed.
"When I heal I am not healed alone."
"Miracles (supplying lack) benefit both the GIVER and the receiver."
See, your natural function is either creation or healing. In heaven you create by being an EXTENDER and GIVER of God. You GIVE what God has Given YOU, in order to INCREASE it and retain and share it. Similarly on earth your function is healing, whereby you are supposed to be HEALING all the time. And that means that as you GO TO HEAL, as you GIVE healing, offer love, send light, etc, YOU get healed as well. You receive what you give.
It's kind of like putting the cart before the horse, to the ego, because you have to GIVE FIRST, in order to receive. As you give, you receive. Opening up the flow, opens the flood gates and in comes the supply from Heaven. This is the ONLY way it can work. The ego says this is backwards and its impossible to give what you do not have. That's a lie. You only seem not to have it BECAUSE you are not giving it, and as soon as you give it, you become AWARE that you have it.
Everything real is GIVEN, SHARED and TRANSFERRED. You can only HAVE anything worth having BY giving it. If you want to be happy you have to give it. If you want to feel loved you have to love others. It is in LOVING THEM, that you SHARE the love, and thus FEEL the love. Love comes IN to fill the 'vacuum' of suction caused by your outflowing of love. Love is PULLED through you from Heaven, AS you give Heaven to another. God shines in you, as you GIVE GOD. This is the ONLY WAY IT CAN WORK.
It is not possible to be happy without giving happiness. It is not possible to feel God's love without giving it. It is not possible to be joyful without GIVING. It is not possible to HAVE anything real without giving it away. Sharing is the fundamental law. Even atonement has to be SHARED and GIVEN. Even your HEALTH has to be GIVEN in order to be received. Mind has to extend and not be arrested in its extension otherwise it will LACK health. Any form of lack is evidence of not giving and not extending.
We are not blobs that sit in isolation and possess things and surround ourselves with our hoard of treasure. To do this is to HAVE NOTHING. You can gain the whole world and lose your soul this way.
"What profiteth a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own Soul?""
"The interval you think lies in between the giving and receiving of the gift SEEMS to be one in which you sacrifice, and suffer loss."
Selfishness is ego. Selfishness is holding on tightly to what you try to keep, causing it to slip through your fingers. Whatever you try to posses will leave you. Whatever you give you will retain. This is the law. There is no exception. If you want love you must give love. If you want happiness you must make happy. If you want health and healing you MUST BE A HEALER.
"Those who are healed become instruments of healing."
"It is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive."
"I will heal as I let Him teach me to heal."
This is the secret to happiness. Share it. Give it. Supply it. Flow it. Emit it. Radiate it. Transfer it. Send it. Communicate it. Teach it. Extend it. And then it will be yours. Everything you give you receive. If you do not give it, you will not receive it. To give is to live.
This is tied to the GOLDEN RULE. How you DO GIVE to others, YOU DO receive. What you give them, you receive. What you give them, you have. What you make true of them is true of you. If you give hate you receive hate. If you fail to give you fail to receive. Give love to have love. Love doesn't hide in a cave. Giving and receiving are one!
"For giving and receiving ARE the same. "
""Father, I must return Your Love for me. For giving and receiving are the same, and You have given all Your Love to me. I must return It, for I want It mine in full awareness, blazing in my mind, and keeping it within Its kindly light, inviolate, beloved, with fear behind and only peace ahead."
I don't want to let go of attachments because I don't trust that everything will be okay unless I am in control.
Holy Spirit is asking us to be set free (!) of the need to have outcomes be controlled, or follow what we think is in our best interests. We want to be in the drivers seat with our ego, directing things and enforcing things, trying to resist what IS and instead enforce what we THINK things should be.
This is all about ego control and manipulation. I want to control so that I can seem to 'make happen' a particular situation. I don't trust that things will be okay unless I don't do this. I do this because I've become convinced that I NEED the situation to be this way. I think I have this need because I've got some kind of funky ego belief telling me that if things AREN'T this way then I will not be happy, or getting what I want or need. ie I'm going to lose or have lack or have something taken away if I don't make things be a certain way.
So this really boils down to fear, not feeling safe, and the belief that we need to put up defenses against what's happening in order to protect ourselves from attack. The trouble is that these very mechanisms, which are mechanisms of control and resistance, are the very things which CREATE a belief in attack because they ARE an attack.
Each time you create an expectation, or invest into attaining a particular outcome, you are setting yourself up for failure. There's a good chance events are not going to go the way you expect them to, and when that happens you will react unhappily. There is also a chance things will go the way you want, which is the ego's carrot on a stick, and then you think you have somehow 'won' the prize of getting away with murder. But its a gamble that you will likely at some point lose.
These investments into NEEDING things to be a certain way, to fulfill some kind of strange belief that 'then I will be happy' or 'I can't be happy when things aren't the way I want them to be', 'attach' us to these outcomes. We're pinning our hopes on them. We're depending on them. We're relying on things going the way we want and build up all this fear and anticipation about it turning out.
This 'attaches' our mind to these outcomes because if we DEPEND on these outcomes/events/people for happiness then we're HOLDING ONTO the ego's false promise or fantasy that GETTING this outcome will bring you salvation. Salvation will free you from whatever supposed 'need' you think you have and deliver you from the 'suffering' that you think you will experience, or maybe even do experience, when outcomes aren't the way you want them to be.
So really this is all about looking for salvation in the wrong place. Putting our faith into being CAUSED to be happy when certain things happen or certain events line up in a certain way. We're depending on EXTERNAL stuff to change what our experience is, and are relying on someone or something else to happen TO us to indirectly CHANGE us into the desirable state we're trying to achieve. This indirectness is passive and is also the role of the victim, in which you are sometimes at risk of attack and sometimes at risk of reward, and are gambling that if you steer things toward reward then you can avoid attack. But both are depending on the ego and both depend on external, separate things, to come along and affect you in a preferable way.
You can only be affected by things if you are not being responsible for yourself. You can only be changed by external things if you are not being who you really are. You can only have your happiness affected positively or negatively by outside influences if you are not aware that Joy is within you and comes from God and can never be removed. And you will only seek and not find salvation in these external outcomes if you are not finding contentment and needlessness within yourself. You will keep seeking (attaching to/depending upon) and not finding (losing/suffering) while you believe that you have a real need that is unfulfilled and that needs to or can be fulfilled (finding salvation) by some external, separate source beyond your control. And so then your attempt to control is an attempt to control what is beyond your control, to try to coerce it into becoming what you want (your savior).
So it really all comes back to whether you believe that you don't have God. Or that you are not as God created you. Or that you're lacking or failing in some way or have an absence of sustenance from God. If you're `in need` then you will seek and you will project and you will seek for false idols and you will attach yourself and become DEPENDENT UPON external stuff. This dependency is a form of slavery and is a form of losing yourself or 'transferring' yourself into the external thing. And this BINDS you to the ego's `level 1` world of duality and suffering. It binds you to the physical form and it binds you to a separate existence. All of your external dependencies and false needs keep you weighed down in the quagmire of darkness in the ego's world, and prevent you from staying squarely in the Holy Spirit.
So we need to let go of mentally and emotionally depending on anything other than God, essentially. Depending on God means looking to God for fulfillment and happiness and meeting all needs and TRUSTING that you will be taken care of if you let go of trying to care of everything yourself. But it does involve a surrender. You have to let go of your tight grip of fear that says... I won't fully let go because if I do, shit is going to happen that I don't want... which really means, shit will happen that does not align with your ego's plans for what IT thinks will bring you salvation, which is GROSSLY MISTAKEN and actually leading you into suffering. Holy Spirit's plan is better ;-)
So it's really about learning to trust Holy Spirit, to develop a trust that you CAN and should let go and allow and accept in order to RECEIVE LOVE and SUPPORT and HOLY HELP, and that it is SAFE to do so, and that it does not mean horrible suffering will follow. Going from fearfully holding on to surrendering and letting go takes a bit of a leap of faith. But once you've taken it, you'll let God be on your side. And you have mighty companions.
Our egos counsel us to separate ourselves off from others. That means identifying solely with your own body, and not with or beyond the bodies of others. It also means seeing yourself as completely cut off from others. No-one else is allowed to occupy the same space as you. You share nothing with anyone. You are isolated, imprisoned and alone inside your body.
The ego the tells you that because you are separate, it makes total sense to suggest you can attack someone and remain separate from the attack. That anything you express, anything you do, will not hurt you but will hurt someone else. Anything you give, is not given to you. Anything you hurl at another, you do not share in. Any way that someone else is wrong, is in no way associated with you. And you are completely dis-associated from everyone.
In its rage and hatred, the ego has you trying to emphasize the separation between you and others as much as possible. To want nothing to do with another person is the ideal mechanism for increasing the separation. Wanting to be distanced from them, pushing them away, destroying them, and making sure all guilt and sin is loaded onto their plate alone, is its whole ambition. This increases the sense of being separate and guarantees that you escape all the consequences of their sinfulness.
As a strategy this seems to all make sense. On the fundamental premise that you are ONLY you and you share nothing with anyone else, it's obvious that you have a great opportunity. You can easily blame someone without being blamed, hurt someone without being hurt, shovel all your guilt into someone's hands and absolve yourself of it, and generally identify your "self" as "not them." This is the egos entire approach to everything. Separate and be saved.
But what the ego will also be careful not to tell you is that in order to be separate, you must also lose something. Having attacked everything other than separation, it hates all the things that you stand to lose by your attacks, and believes they are not worth having. But there is a long list of very worthwhile valuable things that you DO lose when you regard yourself as "not one with them."
You lose all sense of love, all relationship, all communication, all safety and trust, all peace of mind, all freedom, all sharing, all inheritance from God, all power, all life, all holiness and all happiness. It goes flying out the window as soon as you try to be special by making yourself separate from others.
As soon as you try to stop sharing, you become selfish. This selfishness is an attempt to gain something exclusively for yourself, but has the side effect of excluding you from what others have. You seem to gain, AND lose, at the same time. And everything you lose in your special separated state is everything worth having. You have to convince yourself that it's not even there, or valuable, or worth having at all, in order to justify being so separate, barren, bereft and empty.
In the effort to have everything exclusively for yourself, in your selfish egotism, all you end up doing is having nothing. In grasping to hold onto things they completely slip through your fingers. Possessiveness leads to lack and sacrifice. All efforts to make something yours alone makes it no-ones. This is the cost of being separate.
So when you are being separate and are scapegoating and projecting sin and guilt onto others, trying to have it not apply to you, to exclude yourself from, recall also what you are giving up. You lose whenever you think you win. You sacrifice whenever you think you gain an advantage. You become empty whenever you shut someone out. And you become not yourself, whenever your sense of identity is not shared with everyone.
The question then becomes, is it worth it? You have to first recognize that you are being separate. Secondly you have to recognize that this separation has a major cost. Thirdly you have to value the things that you've lost as a result of being separate. And fourth you have to want to regain them. Only in the awareness that separation brings with it a whole host of deprivation, suffering, unhappiness and lack of peace, will you have an incentive to turn away from it.
You are not solely gaining when you separate. You are not getting off scott free. You are not winning without losing. You are not acquiring everything and sacrificing nothing. You are not surviving while others are dying. You are not escaping consequences. You are not becoming more free or more happy or better off. And you certainly are not feeling good in any real way.
The ego doesn't want you looking at the COST of being separate because it doesn't want you being aware that you're missing out on anything. It doesn't want you thinking that there are any downsides to being separate. It doesn't want you being aware that when you project guilt in anger you are still attacking yourself. It doesn't want you to realize that by isolating yourself and being exclusive you are leaving yourself out of the greatest party that ever happened. Nor does it want you remembering that deep down inside you want to be reunited with everyone in love.
Your real identity is shared with everyone in and as christ. Your real experience is to have everything at the same time as everyone else has everything. God's generosity is the guarantee that everything belongs to everyone, and everyone IS everyone. You are literally one with and a part of and shared entirely with every other child of God. And accepting this is the acceptance of atonement. You are not just you. You are all of us. And you are never alone.
In every conflict, it is not one side or another who is right or wins.
They are BOTH losers.
The only one winning is the ego.
If you knew that the ego has a secret agenda to pit you against others and make you become SEPARATE, you would realize there are no real grounds for conflict.
You would not argue with your enemy if you knew that that other person is not really the enemy in the situation. The enemy is the EGO, which wants you both to be fighting, and wants you both to separate.
It has pitted you against each other, because it believes in self attack. It doesn't care who wins. It knows that if you argue and fight, NEITHER of you will be at peace. You both lose.
It doesn't even matter if you think you have won or you are the one who is right. You still lose, because those beliefs are still a belief in attack and that attack will be enacted on you, BY you. Your belief in victory is a belief in your own defeat.
Would you be so quick to hate another person if you knew there was always a third party involved in the argument? How about if you knew that there was this secret ego lurking in the background always plotting for you to be separated from everyone else. And that it has this plan for both you AND that person that you dislike.
It wants both of you to be at war so that IT wins.
If you unite with your brother and recognize the COMMON ENEMY, which is the ego thought system - an idea of being SEPARATE from each other, you would not play the ego's game.
Each fight and argument you fall for the same ego trap and the same ILLUSION that it is possible to defeat another without hurting yourself. You both lose.
Only with what ACIM calls "shared interests" can there be a truly holy instant where you both agree to and recognize that you are on the same side, because you believe in the ONE TRUTH of God.
Only in the light of God's truth is it revealed that the ego's agenda is for you to be at war with this other person and they with you, and it doesn't care who wins just so long as you are fighting. It is an instigator of conflict.
Only when both of you recognize the ploy and the plot and the scheme which is underway to DESTROY YOU BOTH, might you recognize your shared interest of siding WITH each other and saying NO to the ego, instead of saying no to each other.
Then you unite in strength, you defy the ego, you reject conflict, you choose to surrender to peace, you accept each other with love, you support each other, you stop the war, and you completely disable the ego's only weapon - separation.
Come together in this vision of forgiveness. Be reunited with yourself.
"Seek and do not find" is the absolute rule of the ego's way of perceiving.
It's very simple logic.
1) You already have everything you need. You are love.
2) Deny everything you are. "It's not in you".
3) Feel deprived and lacking and driven to search for what you lost anywhere, except in you - because as per step 2, it is clearly not in you (notice here that we never mentioned it being anywhere ELSE either though).
4) Now you go on a passionate hunt for what you lost - yourself - God - everywhere OTHER THAN where it is. Everywhere separate from you. In every illusion that prevents you from being as you are.
5) COMPLETELY fail to find it, because it is NOT OUT THERE.
Sometimes you'll find something which you think is your salvation - idols, objects, people, relationships, activities, places, etc. You invest them with 'hope' that they will be 'the one' that will save you from this dilemma of denial of yourself. BUT at the same time, you absolutely DO NOT believe that they will do so, because you're convinced the truth is NOT in you and never will be ever again.
So whatever you find starts to fail and reveal its cracks and show evidence that it is not working - it's not restoring you to happiness or love or who you are. So you become disillusioned, maybe angry that you've been led astray. You feel deceived and abandoned and frustrated. This REINFORCES your feeling that you are not loveable, that you are not good enough for God, that you are not with God, and that you are not yourself. You feel terrible. Even worse than before. And how does the ego suggest you solve this?
Any guesses?
"Why not go looking somewhere else, since it's obviously not here?" - ... in other words, MORE DENIAL, leading to more compulsion to seek outside yourself where you WILL NOT find what you're looking for.
Every effort you make to 'hold on', forces you to 'lose'. Every effort to 'have' or 'get' forces you to lose. Every effort to 'gain' what you lost reinfoces it's loss and loses even more. Every time you try to 'keep' what you 'little left' you fear to lose, you believe in its loss even more and it goes away. Every time you try to control what's happening so that you don't lose any more of what you value, it all gets taken away from you.
This is how the ego functions. It is insane. Only the insane would tell you to go looking for what you don't have because of how you failed to find it the last time you went looking. The last hunt didn't work? Keep on looking, you're sure to find it someday! Not.
What you're really looking for is God. What you're looking for is your True Self. It's not fancy cars and people and sex and bodies and tv shows and weddings and vacations and rainbows and pets and political rallies and movies and whatever else. It's not out there.
What you want is BEHIND the wall of denial that you've constructed, which you USED the ego to accomplish - or rather, you made the ego BY denying who you are and what you already have.
Everything you really want and CAN ever really HAVE and BE and EXPERIENCE, is already given to you by God. It is what you are. It is love Itself. With this there is nothing else that you really want. That is why the course says, "this world holds nothing that you want". Sobering. It holds nothing you want because it's not WHAT you want, what you want was already yours - it's YOU, as God created you. And you already ARE that. It's in you.
And let's be very very clear about something, because this is the ego's entire cover-story that we're about to blow. Ready? .... Denial is NOT removal. Denial does NOT destroy. Denial does not get rid of anything. Denial merely COVERS UP what is already there and PRETENDS that it is not there.
You want to know what the ego's crowning glory of denial is? The total denial that you are love, that you even live? It's DEATH. Death is DENIAL, it does NOT remove anything, it does not destroy anything, it merely PRETENDS that Life (God, You) do not exist.
It's a cover up!
You merely need to look with Holy Spirit at where you are DENYING - God - Your True Self - and uncover that, expose it to the light again, and reclaim your "natural inheritance". God's already given you everything you could possible want to be satisfied. You're just choosing not to want it. And because of that, you WILL NOT find anything better or more satisfying anywhere else.
Undo denial and you awaken to the love that is already your natural birthright. God created you AS love and that will never change, NO matter how much you might DENY it. And it is still the truth about you, because denial has not touched it or changed it. You are love.
Love is the truth, forever.
"I cannot seen in darkness but in light."
Instead of thinking of the ego, think of two thought systems or two minds. Jesus refers in ACIM to us having a higher mind and a lower mind. A portion of mind became 'lower' in the separation from God, and focuses on being separate.
"The Separation is NOT symbolic. It is an order of reality, or a system of thought"
"I AM working with your higher mind whether you are asleep or awake, (just as your ego does with your lower mind.."
"Thought can create lower-order or higher-order realities. This is the basic distinction between intellectualization and thinking. One creates the physical, and the other the spiritual, and we believe in what we create."
When you are in the higher mind, you are in the light and you can see. You recognize what everything is, nothing is hidden, and you are not deceived.
When you are in the lower mind, you cannot see, you cannot recognize, and you are deceived. It's like being unconscious. You cannot tell that you are in the lower mind because it is a place of darkness.
When you are in the lower mind you lose perspective and lose sight of where you are, lost in the woods. You may not even realize you are in the lower mind at all, and think everything is normal, and may forget completely that there even is a higher way to see.
This is because the lower mind is the realm of egotism, separation, darkness and confusion, narrowness and closed-ness and limitation. It's a mind level that perceives falsely, makes illusions real and believes in the physical world. It is where you are deceived and distracted and reacting as a victim.
So really when you are in the "ego-mind" (thought system) you have a kind of loss of awareness that makes it much much harder to recognize that you are in the ego. The whole thought system of that mindset is like being in a dark prison cell, lost and alone, and not even remembering that there even is a light outside.
When you get back out into the higher mind, into the light, you can see again, you can recognize things, and you can tell where you are. You also, when in the higher mind, suddenly have the perspective that recognises where and what the lower mind is, and that there even is a lower mind within you.
This allows you to realize that you WERE in the lower mind, because you know that it was a state of ego. From the perspective of being in the higher mind, you have a sense that you have a kind of "lower self" within you that is very primal and basic and victim-oriented and fearful.
This is the "self you made", the ego-oriented thought system. Like a child that throws temper tantrums and screams at the universe. It's a whole system of thinking and perceiving.
If you slip out of the higher mind you lose sight of even HAVING a "lower self" within you, that you need to be vigilant against, and you fall back into it. Then you lose sight of the big picture and it seems like the lower self is all that exists and all that you are. Then it's a scramble trying to get yourself back out of it into the light.
It's like, you need the light of the higher mind in order to be able to tell that you're in the lower mind, but when you're in the lower mind you don't have that light so you get lost and stuck in it easily. Trying to get yourself out of the darkness into the light is the best thing you can do to give you perspective and help you to recognize where you are and what you're doing.
The aim is to be in the higher mind as much as possible so that the lower mind is ultimately dissolved. Or rather, that that portion of mind is freed from its egoic focus and its belief in separation so that that mind can be reintegrated as part of the higher mind.
Also note that the lower mind includes the intellect, which is a seemingly 'higher' function within the lower mind that uses separation to split things up and analyse and judge. Jesus says in ACIM that this intellectual lower mind actually produces the physical world of space and time. The higher mind rises above the battlefield and transcends it.
"Miracles are the absence of the body. They are sudden shifts into invisibility, away from lower order reality. That is why they heal."
The ego thrives on two sides of a coin: desire and fear.
Desire is its attempt to "get", which really means to steal from another and deprive them of it.
Fear is its attempt to "not get" or to "get rid of", which means to be stolen from and deprived.
These are the two sides of the same horizontal axis in which some finite amount of something is transferred to or from another, to or from the separate self.
Fear is actually a form of attack which is an attempt to murder, and an attempt to "make it go away", or a rejection of something - typically to get rid of "only what is negative".
Greed, shall we say, is more a form of selfishness and an attempt to be given "only what is positive".
So the ego is always trying to get rid of/kill what it perceives as negative, through fear, and to get more of what it regards as positive through possession or attachment.
Everyone always tries to get rid of what they consider "false", while trying to get more of what they consider "true", whether it be on the level of spirit/reality or in illusions. The ego and the soul both want what they consider to be true, and what is true is always valuable.
However, attachment through getting, also leads to the potential for loss, because you can only seem to lose what you seem to have stolen. Believing it can be stolen from another is to believe it can be stolen from you.
And similarly fear can attract to you what you do not what, in the same vein as "what you resist persists". Fearing makes it real and, while saying you do not want it, is a choice to have more of it.
So in effect the ego attacks itself by making itself be threatened by the very things it says it does not want, so that they haunt it and pursue it relentlessly. Which is why fear also entails a sort of running away and being chased (especially in dreams).
And then on the flipside the ego causes itself to lose the very things it cherishes by trying to stop them leaving, which is a kind of push/pull energy that forces them away.
In other words, attraction and repulsion are the same thing. Since the ego also fears what it thinks it wants, this prevents it from gaining it, and so deprives itself.
What you try gain you lose. What you fear comes to you. Success is failure. Failure is success. Attachment becomes loss. Gain becomes the fear of loss. Loss becomes deprivation which inspires lack and wanting, which leads to trying to get, etc. The metaphysics/dynamics/logic here is quite interesting.
And on it goes, feeding upon its own madness.
"Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering, and intense fear of loss." UrW41L1
Everyone loses when there is separation. It doesn’t matter what side of the fence you fall on. It doesn’t matter which side you take. It doesn’t matter who wins the conflict. Everyone loses. Anyone participating in the ego’s game automatically loses.
If you can think of the ego like a third party, whose sole interest is to "come between", it has no real intention of acting for the benefit of either party. All it wants is to pit two people against each other, to reinforce division.
It couldn’t care less if you think you are the one who is right or not. It doesn’t care who is righteous or correct or better or worse. It has no allegiance to anyone. All it wants is to make two brothers separate.
As a third party, the ego schemes and plots to find ways to make two people fight. It does this when a person has a split mind, hoping to increase the split. It wants to intensify the division between that person and themselves, by intensifying the division between that person and another.
If you could see, that you and your enemy are both in the same boat, and you both have a common enemy - the ego - perhaps you will see the sense in uniting against IT, rather than against each other.
All it takes is to stop for a moment, and realize, you know what, "the ego" is trying to make us fight right now, to come between us and pit us against each other. "It" wants us to separate. It is playing us off against each other. Neither of us is going to be better off because if we become separate from each other, we both lose unity and wholeness.
The only sane option then is to unite against the ego, by stepping out of the argument and both brothers agreeing to a "shared interests", a common ground, in which they no longer see each other as the enemy, but simply recognize the ego is the "enemy".
When neither of you wants to allow the ego to get ITS way, you will side with each other and join as one. When you decide to do this, the ego has been completely disempowered. But if you do not decide to do this, you are feeding it.
I have found this useful in my own life in experiences of arguments with some people where, I stopped and said, you know what, the ego wants us to be arguing right now, it wants us to disagree, so that it can make us both unhappy.
And this totally cut through the whole argument because it reframed the entire thing in a fuller light, a broader picture, in which the ego was called out as that which was the "problem" and not either person. We were quickly able to then repair the damage seeing that we were in fact in the same boat with the same desire for "separating less".
The only war is a war in which everyone loses. There are no winners in the ego’s dream of death. If you play with the ego, you WILL lose. It is guaranteed. It’s the only rules of the game. Try to use the ego and you will suffer. The only way out of the trap is not to play it at all.
It is impossible to find a loophole, or a workaround, or some way you can find success, or a way to win, or a way to benefit more, or to be the one who comes away with no effects while the other suffers. It is absolutely impossible. The ego’s game is totally rigged against everyone involved.
As soon as you participate, you are guranteed suffering and loss. Even if you seem to "win", you still will suffer and lose.
Winning requires defeat. Success requires failure. To win is to lose, and to succeed is to fail. The only winners are those who have separated themselves from others, and that is a loss with far higher cost than any bounty can compensate you for. It requires you to be separate from yourself, and so now you are worse off, in the name of victory.
The only way out of this is to recognize the ego is a pointless, futile, hopeless, impossible mess of dead ends and failure and disaster. It simply does not work, ever. And therefore it is not working for you. It works only for itself and its own aims of separation.
Do not be fooled into thinking the ego can be your savior or your hero or your friend or protecting you or making you succeed or win. It will never do anything other than lead you away from God, away from your Home, away from yourself, and away from happiness.
The temptation to believe that you are smart enough to get way with using it and not pay the consequences, is a disaster for all concerned. There are no winners in the ego world. There is only loss. The only true gain is the return to God, to wholeness, to sharing, to shared interests, and to recognizing your brother as your equal and innocent counterpart.
Your brother is not your enemy. Your ego is. And its attacking you as much as your brothers when you separate from them. Separation is a double-edged sword. Both of you always suffer.