In our special relationships, we think of a particular person as our savior, idol, bestie, or appointed partner. We adore them with very exclusive terms and special attention. Things that we reserve only for them and for no-one else.

This is the main mode of functioning of love in most people. Special love, for special people, in special ways. Or in other words, limited love, in exclusive situations, with a very small handful of individuals.

The ego in us loves this. It loves to love only a tiny subset of the Sonship. It loves to isolate and limit and constrain all love to one special chosen target recipient. It loves to really strongly play up how important and special and relied-upon that person is, because what this indirectly implies, is that everyone else sucks bigtime.

Special relationships therefore feed the ego 'persona' - the parts of life that it wants to keep and approve of - which is a very limited slice of reality - which it will eventually still attack and destroy. And while it feeds this persona, it relegates everything else to prison, which goes into your own mind as your 'shadow' self, filled with rejection and hate and attack. And that shadow self will attack your persona self and attack your special relationship and eventually try to destroy it. And as such romance turns to resentment. That's what the ego has in store for you when you play along with the special-love game. It ends in tears.

Ok so, being a bit dramatic ;-)

The point is, most people are stuck in this game, and there is a whole other way to experience life. And that means, bringing specialness into question, which is especially difficult when you have special relationships. It means that you will have to confront a sense of not depending on special people, but instead depending on God. It means you will have to examine why you can only love this one person and not everyone else, and also find out what it is within yourself that refuses to love everyone equally. Typically it's because you do not want to love yourself at all times, but only when you yourself are 'special' to yourself, which is probably not often.

Sometimes therefore special relationships have to go through a transition in order for the relationship to become 'holy', which means, the specialness (which is really a form of conditionality and limitation) has to be brought into question. And indeed, it may have to be released, which can be very painful, in order to make way for a greater expansion of love that overflows beyond the borders of the special relationship. How can you be unconditionally loving and uncondtionally yourself without letting go of the specialness that limits and imprisons you?

This doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship or necessarily its destruction, but at times it can seem that the special aspects of the relationship undergo a breakdown, to reveal a deeper unconditionality, a deeper more genuine more honest love, that doesn't put on a mask of pretense and perhaps doesn't play into the appearance of a typical special relationship. This means the relationship is becoming holy, in which the 'real selves' are starting to relate on terms of deeper honesty and greater willingness to love. Love actually increases, but it becomes in a sense less personally confining. It become more freeing, more allowing, more accepting, and that's different than how a special relationship typically starts out.

What remains then is a TRUE relationship, not only with another person but also with yourself, where you yourself are more genuine, where you are not dependent on the other person for the source of your love, where you are able to be of service, where you love them unconditionally, love yourself unconditionally, and also love beyond the walls of the 'relationship' unconditionally. What applies to you must apply to all. And as such, as you mature into unconditional love, you are maturing into a relationship with the entire Sonship, based on love instead of rejection and special attention.

This ultimately is the only way to love yourself.

To put your money where your mouth is, requires that you step up and DEMONSTRATE the truth, by showing in PHYSICAL FORM, PROOF AND EVIDENCE, that what you believe you REALLY believe, it cannot be refuted, and no-one can deny it. We have to learn to SHOW what we have learned.

I love this list of demonstration-related quotes, because it really speaks to how we are to SHOW people that the truth is true through PHYSICAL manifestations of miracles. Jesus providing there is no death by resurrecting the body, is the ultimate example.

ACIM:

"The resurrection of the world awaits your healing and your happiness, that you may DEMONSTRATE the healing of the world."

"Pain is a sign illusions reign in place of truth. It DEMONSTRATES God is denied, confused with fear, perceived as mad and seen as traitor to Himself."

"The world recedes as we light up our minds, and realize these holy words are true. They are the message sent to us today from our Creator. Now we DEMONSTRATE how they have changed our minds about ourselves and what our function is. For as we prove that we accept no will we do not share, our many gifts from our Creator will spring to our sight and leap into our hands, and we recognize what we received."

"This does Atonement teach, and DEMONSTRATES the oneness of God’s Son is unassailed by his belief he knows not what he is."

"Sickness would prove that lies must be the truth. But healing DEMONSTRATES that truth is true."

"So healing, never needed by the truth, must DEMONSTRATE that sickness is not real."

"Healing is freedom. For it DEMONSTRATES that dreams will not prevail against the truth. Healing is shared. And by this attribute it proves that laws unlike the ones which hold that sickness is inevitable are more potent than their sickly opposites."

"It is this fact which DEMONSTRATES that time is an illusion."

"Concepts maintain the world. But they can not be used to DEMONSTRATE the world is real. For all of them are made within the world, born in its shadow, growing in its ways, and finally "maturing" in its thought."

"The miracle is means to DEMONSTRATE that all appearances can change because they are appearances, and cannot have the changelessness reality entails. The miracle attests salvation from appearances by SHOWING they can change."

"The miracle is proof he is not bound by loss or suffering in any form, because it can so easily be CHANGED. This DEMONSTRATES that it was never real, and could not stem from his reality. For that is changeless, and has no effects which anything in Heaven or on earth could ever alter. But appearances are shown to be unreal BECAUSE they change."

"Like EVERY lesson that the Holy Spirit requests you learn, the miracle is clear. It DEMONSTRATES what He would have you learn, and SHOWS you its effects are what you WANT. In its forgiving dream, are the EFFECTS of yours undone, and hated enemies perceived as friends, with merciful intent."

"Pain DEMONSTRATES the body must be real. It is a loud, obscuring voice, whose shrieks would silence what the Holy Spirit says, and keep His words from your awareness. Pain compels attention, drawing it away from Him, and focusing upon itself. Its purpose is the same as pleasure, for they both are means TO MAKE THE BODY REAL."

"Health is the witness unto health. As long as it is unattested, it remains without conviction. Only when DEMONSTRATED has it BEEN proved, and MUST compel belief. No-one is healed through double messages. If you wish ONLY to be healed, you heal. Your single PURPOSE makes this possible. But if you are AFRAID of healing, then it cannot come through you. The ONLY thing that is required for a healing is a lack of fear. The fearful are NOT healed, and cannot heal. This does NOT mean the conflict must be gone forever from your mind. For if it were, there were no NEED for healing anymore. But it DOES mean, if only for an instant, you love without attack. An instant is sufficient. Miracles wait not on time."

"The holy instant is the miracle’s abiding-place. From there, each one is born into this world, as witness to a state of mind which has TRANSCENDED conflict, and has reached to peace. It carries comfort from the place of peace into the battle-ground, and DEMONSTRATES that war has no effects. For all the hurt that war has sought to bring; the broken bodies and the shattered limbs, the screaming dying and the silent dead, are gently lifted up and comforted. There IS no sadness, where a miracle has come to heal. And nothing more than just ONE instant of your love WITHOUT attack is necessary, that all this occur."

"Forgiveness is not real UNLESS it brings a healing to your brother AND yourself. YOU must attest his sins had no effect on YOU, to DEMONSTRATE they were not real. How else COULD he be guiltless? And how COULD his innocence be justified UNLESS his sins have no effect to WARRANT guilt?

Sins are beyond forgiveness just BECAUSE they would entail effects which CANNOT be undone and overlooked entirely. In their UNDOING lies the PROOF that they were merely errors. LET yourself be healed, that you may be forgiving, offering salvation to your brother AND yourself. A broken body shows the mind has NOT been healed. A miracle of healing proves that separation is WITHOUT effect."

"God gives no special favors, and no one has any powers that are not available to everyone. Only by tricks of magic are special powers "demonstrated."" (talking about psychic powers/magic vs miracles)

"Healing is always certain. It is impossible to let illusions be brought to truth and keep the illusions. Truth DEMONSTRATES illusions have no value."

"When this occurs, the body becomes its weapon, used AGAINST this Purpose to DEMONSTRATE the "fact" that separation HAS occurred."

"The holy instant is the shining example, the clear and unequivocal DEMONSTRATION of the meaning of EVERY relationship, and EVERY situation SEEN AS A WHOLE."

"This power INSTANTLY transforms ALL situations into one sure and continuous means for ESTABLISHING His purpose, and DEMONSTRATING its reality. What has been DEMONSTRATED has called for faith, and has been GIVEN it. Now it becomes a fact, from which faith can no longer BE withheld."

"Concern yourselves not with the EXTENSION of holiness, for the nature of miracles you do NOT understand. Nor do you DO them. It is their extension, far beyond the limits you perceive, that DEMONSTRATES you did not do them."

"Miracles demonstrate that learning has occurred under the right guidance, for learning is invisible, and what has been learned can be recognized only by its RESULTS. Its GENERALIZATION is DEMONSTRATED as you use it in more and more situations."

"That is why the recognition of your OWN invulnerability is so important in the restoration of your sanity. For if you accept your invulnerability, you are recognizing that attack HAS no effect. Although you have attacked yourself, and very brutally, you will DEMONSTRATE that NOTHING HAPPENED. Therefore, by attacking, you have NOT DONE ANYTHING."

" Thereby you teach yourself that fear does not exist IN YOU, for you have in YOURSELF, the means for removing it, and have DEMONSTRATED this by GIVING it."

"To teach the WHOLE Sonship WITHOUT EXCEPTION DEMONSTRATES that you PERCEIVE ITS WHOLENESS and have learned that it IS One."

"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be STRONGER. Every miracle DEMONSTRATES this."

"That is because the Holy Spirit IS one, and anyone who listens is inevitably led to DEMONSTRATE His way for ALL."

"The ego cannot withstand the conditioning process, because the process itself DEMONSTRATES that there is another way."

"My trust in you is greater than yours in me at the moment, but it will not always be that way. Your mission is very simple. You have been chosen to live so as to DEMONSTRATE that You are NOT an ego."

"We said before that the purpose of the Resurrection was to "DEMONSTRATE that no amount of misperception has any influence at all on a Son of God." This DEMONSTRATION EXONERATES those who misperceive, by establishing beyond doubt that they have NOT hurt anyone. "

"The Resurrection DEMONSTRATED that NOTHING can destroy truth. Good can withstand ANY form of evil, because light abolishes ALL forms of darkness. The Atonement is thus the perfect lesson. It is the final demonstration that all of the other lessons which I taught are true."

"Death is a human affirmation of a belief in hate. That is why the Bible says "There is no death," and that is why I DEMONSTRATED that death does not exist."