We come to the Course with our ego's and we are then exposed to all this very high spiritual truth. And we have ego reactions to this without even realizing that we're having reactions.

The main ego reaction is that we perceive the Course's truth to be very highly truthful, powerful and authoritative. We start to set Jesus up as an authority over us. We get this sense of how the Course is 'right'and how we are 'wrong', because our ego is so accustomed to making right and wrong out of everything.

We put the Course up on a pedestal and worship it. And if you think you're not religious or prefer ACIM over Christianity or whatever, think again - your ego is quite prepared to be religious about the course, to worship its leader, to be subservient to its power and authority, and to use it as a way to amplify guilt by pointing out all the ways that you seem to be inferior and wrong in comparison to Jesus's truth.

We then take on all of these things which the Course says and all of these high concepts, and we build up this picture of attainability. We believe the Course is telling the truth but we use it to tell ourselves why WE are not being this truthful. We find ourselves guilty and shameful in the mirror reflection and this starts compelling us to 'become better' and 'match up' and 'be more spiritual' and 'have more mental discipline' and all these ego motivations that aim for this new lofty perfection.

Trouble is all of this takes us away from where we actually ARE right now, which is the ego's favorite trick to deny what you already are. And you just end up feeling like you can't do the Course properly and you're guilty and wrong and incapable, and you will try really hard and feel shitty about it because you just can't seem to do it or get it. Because your ego keeps using it to reinforce itself, to prove why you are not truthful and why you are not good enough and why you should put even more effort into people-pleasing Jesus's authority. And so you prostrate yourself at the feet of the Course and give power over you and end up feeling like a worthless idiot, riddled with fear and shame and not being Good enough for God.

What also happens here is that you then read things which are very high-level, like, in terms of the 'levels' it's stuff from level 3, 4, 5 - levels of higher self, levels of christ consciousness, which really are waaaaay outside the scope of where you are at right now. But this huge GAP between where you are AT and where it seems like you're supposed to BE, in comparison, just breeds guilt and loathing.

You start to believe that you believe the course, by trying to DENY what you really believe and trying to AVOID what you really feel and trying to NOT BE who you actually are. You try to become something else. This is your PERSONA, putting on a spiritual facade and trying to measure up to what you generally experience as a very highly advanced spiritual state that you barely comprehend. And the result of amplifying your persona is that you shove all kinds of shit into your 'shadow'/unconscious which comes back to attack you. So now you say what you're "supposed" to say, and you try to feel only what you're "supposed" to feel. And you modify your behavior. And you feel like a big fat failure.

This is because you're out of touch with what you are actually EXPERIENCING, you don't think it's OK to be where you're at, and you keep beating yourself up with or trying to FIT INTO what you THINK you SHOULD be like, or should be experiencing. The Course's goals seem so far beyond what you can experience that it leads you to bypass and to pretend and to become MORE out of touch with your inner power and strength and certainty than you probably were even before you started the dam thing!

This isn't the Course's fault. It's your ego's fault. Its the ego's interference and interpretation and conclusion-making that leads you into all this pressure to measure up, rather than making it ok to remain in-touch with where you are at, or even all the spiritual growth that you already had before you came to the Course. Maybe you need to kick some of the course to the kerb for now, or at least let go of trying to fit into shoes that are too big based on where you're at or what you're learning. Get back in touch with what's true for you right now and what you can realistically achieve, rather than trying to measure up to some standard that is so advanced it's barely conceivable.

Much of the course community is doing this at this time, and is rife with 'trying' to be spiritual, 'trying' to attain higher-levels of truth without actually experiencing it. Talking about it, spewing out quotes and statements about it, using it as 'pleasantries', making posters out of it, recalling quips about it like some kind of parrot, and generally going into all the intellectualizing about it, out of touch with FEELING, out of touch with EXPERIENCING. We all need to get ourselves back down to earth and in touch with what's going on with us, rather than what we're trying to become.

God is always in a forgiving state, even though there is nothing to forgive, in order THAT there be nothing to forgive. God always has a forgiving attitude.

Forgiveness is not something you do to get TO God, it is your permanent, natural condition of expressing from love and being forgiving. The opposite of being forgiving is having an unforgiving (relentless, attacking) attitude ie ego.

God IS forgiving, at all times. And it is our natural function to be forgiving at all times. Not just as a process of undoing ego stuff. Forgiveness is a constant state.

"Forgive us our illusions, Father, and help us to accept our true relationship with You, in which there are no illusions, and where none can ever enter. Our holiness is Yours. What can there be in us that needs forgiveness when Yours is perfect? The sleep of forgetfulness is only the unwillingness to remember Your forgiveness and Your Love."

What can there be in us (Sons of God) when GOD'S FORGIVENESS IS PERFECT?

Also the correction of perception is a temporary measure in order to become able to recognize that perception is not needed and that knowledge is the truth, so correction of perception is NOT forgiveness either.

"It cannot be emphasized too often that CORRECTING perception is merely a temporary expedient. It is necessary ONLY because Misperception is a BLOCK to knowledge, while ACCURATE perception is a stepping-stone TOWARDS it. The whole value of right perception lies in the inevitable judgment which it necessarily entails that it is UNNECESSARY. This removes the block entirely."

In other words the only reason we are correcting perception is to come to realize that preception is fundamentally false and not needed at all, because we can have direct access to knowledge of truth, which is not perceived but known.

Faith (trust in God) reaches outside of the illusory world and connects to a Source of miracles you may as yet not see or fully understand. But your willingness and openness to even conceive of it, coupled with even a vague belief that it holds truth and reality, is sufficient to establish a psychological "connection" to a higher mind.

Believing there is a possibility beyond the physical laws, or a potential or freedom that transcends appearances, is the same thing as believing a Higher Power and disbelieving that the ego's laws have complete power over what happens.

Even if you can't see God or Jesus, or you are not even sure if they really exist, if you have even a little willingness - which is all the Course asks us to have - this is an invitation to the Holy Spirit. It's not just a little willingness to be mistaken, but a willingness to be open to a source of healing and truth which is more true than how things currently appear.

This works both in the areas of healing your illusory mistaken perceptions, in which your willingness invites Holy Spirit to correct your mind, but also in the grander area of the entire illusion, in which your willingness invites Holy Spirit to perform demonstrations of miracles through you for others.

Your mind has the ability to open itself to connect to a Source of miracles even if the majority of the mind is still in the dark. If there is enough of a "leap of faith", this will create a pipeline across which the Power of God can flow. You are able to them become a conduit for the Holy Spirit to work through you, in spite of you having a large body of delusions of your own that need to as yet be corrected.

Reaching outside the illusory world to join with God is all that it takes. Some measure of belief in the real truth. Many people just don't as yet realize that it is as easy as this, and so don't act in the role of extender of God's love through miracle working. You may not realize that you really only need to have some faith/trust and believe in the truth in order to now be a vessel for Holy Spirit to flow through.

A vast majority of miracles performed in the world today are performed by students of whatever spiritual system, students who are still "in process" of awakening and who are still learning about the truth. They do not need to be completely purified in order for such miracles to work through them, if they have willingess to allow Holy Spirit to "use them" and work with them.

Some trust in God is all it takes, a little willingness to accept that God's truth is true.

The only way that A Course in Miracles can really make any sense whatsoever, is if there is a CLEAR distinction between what is real and what is illusion.

Every way in which you are confused about which is which, is your entire problem. This confusion is the ego - which simply is the belief that illusions are real.

If you believe that the physical world is real, you are confused about what is true and what is illusion.

Believing the world is real, when it is not, is confusion which will lead you further astray. It will lend credibility to parts of the ego's viewpoint and you will fail to fully believe that God is real.

Either God/Truth is real, or illusions are real. That's what you're choosing between. Each time you think this world has any truth to it, any answers, any solutions, any causes, any value, any meaning whatsoever, you are deceived.

If you think the world is not an illusion, to any degree, it is because you have given it reality. You've tried to turn it into reality. It is not inherently real. It is your wishful thinking that makes it seem real. And its apparent reality will make you seem to suffer and die.

It really is a choice between life and death, in the sense that if you are choosing that God's Truth is true, then you are choosing eternal life. If you are are choosing that the ego's illusions are true, then you are choosing death. But let's not forget, in truth, that death is an illusion and never a reality.

Death is not real. Sickness is not real. Suffering is not real. War is not real. Loss is not real. Separation is not real. Guilt and fear are not real. Darkness is not real. Insanity is not real. Bodies are not real. The world is not real. And this whole universe is not real.

You have to get to where it's absolutely clear cut, cut and dry, black and white. Only when you can begin to accept that this entire world is an illusion, can you begin to place faith and trust in God, which automatically means you are being forgiving because you are overlooking illusions, and this also automatically means that you are overcoming illusions.

This overcoming of illusions means you are not stopped by illusions, are not limited by illusions, and do not see any measure of weight or importance in illusions. You are not deceived by them. And they have no real power at all. And therefore, you are now a miracle worker.

A Course in Miracles is telling the truth IF God is the only truth and IF God did not create the world and IF there literally is no physical world. If that's not the case, then it makes no sense at all and you will be confused. You can't keep your illusions and experience reality.

Only the truth is true. Therefore everything your body shows you in this so-called 'precious world' is an illusion, and you should not believe in it. Put all your belief and trust in the fact that God is truth, and you will transcend the world and be a miracle worker.

Jesus showed us that this is possible. He learned that the world and the body are not real. He made his body disappear when he finally overcame the illusion of death. He saw the so-called 'real world' briefly, in its illusory loveliness, and then ascended to Heaven. We can too.

"There is no world. This is the central thought the Course would aim to teach" - ACIM

He did this by appearing to go through death of the body, and yet being not that body was able to make that body disappear, and then re-materialized another body image which looked and felt just as "real" as before, to SHOW that what He was is beyond and has mastery over the body and over death.

Can you imagine being there as Jesus "as a body", who was just crucified and supposedly killed, which you saw with your own eyes and believed, suddenly materializes out of nowhere as though nothing had happened? Imagine how much of an EDUCATION that would be, blowing your mind and totally undermining your belief system in which the body is thought to be real and all physical effects are thought to be irreversible. This is why miracles are teaching devices.

Nothing could happen to what He is, because He is Spirit, not body, and He was able to PROVE that this is true by dematerializing and rematerializing the body. Who and what He is MUST be "not a body" if the body is able to be switched on and off at will, and therefore anything the body experiences (such as death) cannot be real or have any power to do anything.

WE are also asked to DEMONSTRATE THE TRUTH through our seemingly miraculous ability to completely defy all laws of the physical world. What Jesus did was miraculous. Miracles are expressions which come from a higher state of awareness/mind/spirit, outside of spacetime, outside of the universe, manipulating what is "inside" the universe, to prove that the world is not real or true. Another word for this is SUPERNATURAL.

Jesus asks us to demonstrate, for example, that we are not sick in the body, and that our brother has not done anying to us to cause us harm. We can only do this supernaturally. We have to have the power of God working with us to defy the ego's laws of biology, physics, chemistry etc, to show that even if someone tries to harm us, we cannot be harmed. We demonstrate this USING the body as a teaching device, just as Jesus did.

Miracles in A Course in Miracles are supernatural ACTS, effects or results which are considered IMPOSSIBLE in the ego's thought system. Their "shifts into invisibility" are shifts away from the level of form (physical world) and towards the One Mind. They transcend the worldly laws and enable you to do LITERALLY ANYTHING. There is NOTHING your holiness cannot do! NOTHING!

Miracles are not shifts in perception or mere changes of mind. Miracles are possible AFTER mind has been restored to its natural state of miracle-mindedness. And the miracle-working ability remains a PERMANENT FEATURE of the Son of God, NOT a temporary measure of restoration with no power to do anything.

If you are to truly learn A Course in Miracles and recognize and prove what miracles are, you MUST become a supernatural miracle worker, OTHERWISE you will remain confined to the body and subject to death, determined to prove and demonstrate that the world has power over you and there is nothing you can do about it. That is nothing short of a state of victimhood and unconsciousness.

We need to becoming open to, and capable of, performing miracles to demonstrate and prove that God's truth is true, by defying the laws of the world, right here in the dream. If you are not willing to ACT on your belief that God's truth is true, then it is not true for you. Your miraculous acts will demonstrate that the truth is true, and destroy the ego's illusions that the body has power over the mind.

It's not just death that we fear, it's permanent death. We tried to give all illusions a sense of eternity, constancy, permanence and irreversibility. We aren't just afraid of dying, or that someone will die. We're afraid it will be a total absolute permanent separation from which there is no return, a total annihilation, extermination, utter blotting out of life forever and ever, never again to be seen. A complete a total real separation and an absolute loss of all relationship and all hope of resurrection or communication. Forever.

If so-called life on the physical level were real, this would be true. For here bodies do indeed become permanently dead, the corpses rot and are become worm food, and all supposedly living things meet with permanent endless locked-in destruction. Bodies wither and die and testify to the victory of the God of death over the God of life. The ego's crown jewel, it's final statement that there is no life and all that was immortal has been fully killed.

Such was the purpose of the ego world we made, to try to prove that permanent irreversible death is real. A world of suffering and torment and final execution. The inevitable sword of doom that finally strikes, not if but when.

Such is the lie, because nothing that has eternal life can die, not even slightly. Perma-death is the ego's final illusion, its utter bullshit, and its total defense against God. In your complete and successful death, the ego triumphs over God's creation, and then take a shit on your grave for good measure.

Only in you becoming utterly non-existent would it be satisfied, and the ego itself is the idea of total non-existence. But that is why is does not exist, and that is why there is no such thing as permanent death. Permanent actual non-existence does not exist. Which means that death is not real, is always temporary, reversible, and can never prove God's son can be murdered. And this means that anything that seems to die must be a deception and not a reality.

Death is an illusion. No-one is ever lost forever. The entire sonship of God's family is permanently and irreversibly united in permanent life and an endless eternity of absolute joy. No-one can ever split us apart. Nothing can ever come between us. There can be no real loss, and nothing real can ever be threatened. Death is a lie. There is no death, and the sons of God are free forever.

"There is no death, because the living share the Function their Creator gave to them."

"Salvation seeks to prove there IS no death, and ONLY life exists. The sacrifice of death is NOTHING lost. An idol CANNOT take the place of God"

"There is no death because what God created shares His Life.

There is no death because an opposite to God does not exist.

There is no death because the Father and the Son are One."

"There IS no death, but there IS a belief in death."

"In the dreams HE brings, there IS no murder, and there IS no death."

"There is no death because the Son of God is like his Father."

"Death is a human affirmation of a belief in fate. That is why the Bible says "There is no death," and that is why I demonstrated that death does not exist."

"There is no death. The Son of God is free. And in his freedom is the end of fear."

"Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him."

Money is one of the devices that the ego has come up with. It uses it to evalute the "value and worth" of everything. It puts a "price" on everything that happens based on a hierarchy of illusions. It then assigns that if you have more money you generally have more freedom or access. If you have been deemed not valuable enough, then you have reduced access.

This then sets up a whole bartering/bargaining/trade/profit system in which some things are exchanged for other things. This is entirely based on the notion that giving and receiving are separate, and therefore if you give the money you have lost the money. And now in order for the exchange to be 'fair', an equal perceived 'value' has to be returned. Despite the fact that generally speaking everything is sold at a fake profit ie an inflated value more than it's worth, further compounding the lies.

The end result is a civilization that for the most part (yes there are exceptions) most people are required to live within the money system and operate under its laws. This leads to all manner of horrendous "physical" inequalities, such as people not being able to afford food while other people are able to buy mansions.

If a person is born with certain traits and abilities that are 'valuable' then they can "make more money" easier than others. And that means people are not considered of equal value. Worth is reduced to a measure of how many numbers have been assigned to you. If you don't have the numbers, you're not going to be able to enjoy that fancy house and car. If you have the numbers, you can make penis-shaped space rockets.

Not to buy into the ILLUSION that suffering is real or that injustices are true injustices, or that there are real victims, or that anyone is truly better or worse off. But on the physical level for sure there are tremendous inequalities, life becomes a constant competition, business is all about exploiting and competing, and either you've got the moolah or you're stuck.

It's not the rich people's fault or the poor people's fault. It's the ego and its use of this device to hem people in and designate special favors. The valuing of people and what they do by a numbering system as to how valuable or worthwhile it is. Teaching everyone since an early age that if they want money they have to work harder and smarter. And if they can't, they're screwed in some dead-end job. If all the money of the world was evenly distributed amongst everyone, 99% of people would have a 'better life'.

That said, it would require everyone to stop evaluating worth based on its monetary value or "what it can get", stop doing stuff on the basis of whether "you'll get paid", and give up the notion of tying freedom and access in to whether you have enough coins or not. It's a kind of prison system in which some people are allowed to roam free while others stay locked up. It won't ever be fair. Only the equal treatment of all God's children is fair and specialness is not of God.

Either way, it's not having the money or not having the money that makes you happy. It's transcending the entire sytem.

"Think of the freedom in the recognition that you are not bound by all the strange and twisted laws which you have set up to save you. You really think that you would starve unless you have stacks of green paper strips and piles of metal discs."

"The dreaming of the world takes many forms, because the body seeks in many ways to PROVE it is autonomous and real. It puts things on itself that it has bought with little metal discs or paper strips the world proclaims as valuable and good. It works to get them, doing senseless things, and tosses them away for senseless things it does not NEED, and does not even WANT. It hires OTHER bodies, that they may protect it, and collect more senseless things that it can call its own. It looks about for special bodies which can SHARE its dream. Sometimes it dreams it is a conqueror of bodies weaker than itself. But in some phases of the dream, it is the slave of bodies which would hurt and torture it."

I received a large envelope in the mail. It was from a medical group that we depend on currently for a treatment. I wondered what it could be. Or more to the point, I feared what it might be. Was it a bill? Was it a notice of termination? Was it more rules being laid down to control behaviors? Was it some serious requirement we were going to have to go through? All this ran through my mind in a matter of seconds in reaction to "seeing it." And I hadn't even opened it yet.

I then remembered, that this is a prime example of reacting in fear to some "portion" of the world. Something in the world seems to happen, some "dream" seems to occur, and then I perceive it. And if I perceive it is REAL, forgetting that it is complete fiction and isn't really happening, I MUST experience some portion of the hierarchy of illusions. Some measure of fear, threat and danger must arise, to correspond to the perceived severity of "the problem that came out of nowhere".

So then I remembered, oh yea,.... there is no world. This is me reacting to part of a dream as if it is real. And so I saw, wow, look at how my mind just went right into FEAR, the instant that I saw what this envelope was, and allowed its "reality" to enter my mind. By not remembering this is just another dream episode, my mind was "snagged" or caught up on the dream, as if bound to it and part of it.

The automatic go-to reaction was to be afraid as a result. Yet the instant that I thought to myself, "there is no world, this is just a dream", the fear melted and I felt happy and light and safe. I stepped outside of it. I reframed it. I remembered this little "event" is nowhere and nothing. And I saw how strange it is that I would go into automatic, uncontrolled fear, just as a reaction to having made an envelope real. Having then told myself that all manner of defensiveness is needed, in the form of fear, to prepare myself for what this was going to "do to us".

As I stepped outside of it and laughed, with the fear gone, and trying to stay in the happy awareness that there is no world, I noticed how I probably for all my life have "reacted to dreams" in this way. Each time some thing seems to happen in the world, there has been this "being caught up in it". And each time I am caught up in it there is suffering. And along with that there are upset feelings and fear and stress. And it's all because I thought what was happening was real.

In fact it then seemed really strange that I had chosen to go into fear at all, because there was absolutely no call for fear and no apparent reason to be afraid at all. If the dream was not real and there wasn't even really an envelope, then there was no basis for any reaction whatsoever. And this revealed just how pointless and arbitrary fear is, like some kind of un-checked auto-responder, that just activates unconsciously, with little regard for whether it's even justified. Like a habitual reaction. And I probably had been doing this all my life.

But now here I was, feeling safe and light and happy and bright, because I had remembered for a moment that "this is just a piece of a dream, it's not even really there". I thus opened the envelope and inquired as to its main message. It was, to my pleasant surprise, a refund check for $150 for "overpayment". lol

But it is a lesson. It has shown me another fine example of just how this works. This ONE PROBLEM. Forgetting that you are dreaming. Believing it is REALITY. Thinking that what's happening is ACTUALLY happening. Losing sight of any kind of awareness and just becoming unconscious, ego, reactive and fearful, suspicious, defensive, vulnerable and weak. If the world is real you HAVE to be afraid, and everyone who has been living this way their whole lives doesn't know any other option. I know I didn't.

It's all what happens when you dip down into false perception and bind yourself to the dream, lose yourself in it, go into the darkness of it and take it seriously. Then as you lift up, as you remember THERE IS NO WORLD, your mind just floats right out of it and makes light of it, free from it, saved from it, happy and safe from it. And in that light, there is no concern for what the dream seems to show, or what the event seems to be about. You are not inside the event, because you are not lost in the dream. Being lost is the mainstay in this world, and few have found themselves as yet.

"Awareness of dreaming is the function of God's teachers."

"They watch the dream figures come and go, shift and change, suffer and die, yet they are not deceived by what they see."

"Miracles restore the awareness that you are the dreamer of the dream."

As you take steps toward being 100% responsible for everything in your life, you're taking steps toward being AT CAUSE instead of at the effect.

This will likely make you have two reactions:

1) The ego will not understand what this really means and will interpret it from a viewpoint of 'I' and 'me' ... if *I* did this then.... if *I* caused this then.... and always its conclusion is going to be .... then I must be guilty. It uses guilt to try to prove that if you are responsible or at-cause, ALL BLAME is pinned on you for everything that 'has happened' and 'is real'. So whatever thing you take responsibility for, any measure of believing it is real or has really happened will be interpreted as "your fault", and it FEELS LIKE SHIT. This is what I am struggling with at the moment.

2) The other reaction you will gradually have is, that you'll begin to become aware that you have a CHOICE. Its a choice that you probably never even realized existed before. It was buried under all of the illusions of 'having no say' and 'having not chosen this'. It's not just that we believe we're at the effect of the world, but that we believe that we have NOT CHOSEN to be at the effect of the world - that we had NOTHING to do with this. It just 'happened to us' as victims. A state of powerlessness. As you begin taking back responsibility for being the CAUSE - and getting past the ego's roadblock of being 'the cause of real effects' - you start to reawaken the fact that you DO have a choice, you DO have input, you DO cause things. And you start to realize not only that "you did this to yourself" (the key to salvation) but that you can actually choose NOT to do something to yourself, and that this actually UNDOES and heals - removing unwanted effects from your life through CHOICE.... including the choice for death!

So on the one hand, it's very liberating because you start to see yourself as a chooser, and that everything is optional - not set in stone or unchangeable. On the other hand you feel guilty not only for all the bad choices you made before (ego remorse) but also for the idea that you had anything to do with such things or the effects that were produced (ego guilt). You have to learn to move past that ego identification, the ego wanting to still be a part of this responsibility, and recognize your INNOCENCE.

It's not that you did a bunch of stuff on purpose and it had real effects and that means you're guilty. It's like.... you are becoming responsible for BEING INNOCENT, and are overlooking/forgiving what you THOUGHT you did which you did not really do. It's not about owning up to crucifying God's son.. although it can feel like that at first, which is horrible. It's not about claiming blame or saying a) that thing is real and b) I'm the one who really did it. That's the EGO taking responsibility which leads to guilt. We need to see that what we think happened did NOT happen and we're not responsible for it HAPPENING, we're responsible for believing it happened and being under the illusion that it was producing real results.

We are responsible for being who we really are. If we can really recognize who we really are, we must recognize we are innocent and that we have NOT done anything wrong or caused anything bad to happen. It takes time to come to that I guess, and more ego deceptions to be undone as we own up to being Christ.

I'll end on an up note .... that I am excited to be discovering that I have choices where I previously saw no choices, and I have freedom where I saw only imprisonment, and I don't just `have to` go along with death and destruction - it ONLY happens if I choose it and I don't have to choose it. I can choose life and be under no other laws but Gods.