Taking absolute responsibility for your life can become a guilt trip
So there you are, saying "I must've created this" "I chose this" "I wanted this".
But the 'this' you refer to are all illusions. e.g. I must've chosen to be victimized by my coworker, I must've wanted this sickness, I must've chosen to be part of a thunderstorm, etc...
So if you're claiming responsibility for illusions, this can be the same as the ego MAKING IT REAL. i.e. ... I REALLY have chosen to be a victim, I REALLY must've wanted this sickness, I REALLY am responsible for being punished by the boss, etc.
Jesus speaks of this in the Course and how, in the beginning, we can really take this 'owning responsibility' very hard, because the ego is involved. He speaks of how the identification with the ego is what makes this a problem. He also advises to MOVE ON QUICKLY from this realization to actual CORRECTION with Holy Spirit. You don't have to dwell on what you've claimed responsibility for.
But even as you start doing this, you'll feel quite guilty because you think that YOU - ego you - have done all kinds of shitty things which you now have to own.
So, are you REALLY responsible for all the shit that's happened in your life? Are you REALLY responsible for all the crap that you put into your 'script' before you came to Earth?
To a degree, yes... in illusions, yes... inside of these choices, yes. BUT.... let's remember. ... nothing has happened.
So... you are not really responsible for making bad choices, you're not really responsible for making mistakes, you're not really responsible for making yourself be victimized or arranging attackers.
What you're REALLY responsible for is being as God created you, being innocent, being Christ, being holy, being whole and healed, being the light of the world, being forgiving, and being loving. That's what you really are responsible for.
So yes, to be Christ, you need to OWN IT.... and it may seem that as a step toward that you have to own your MISTAKES. ... but you have to keep it in perspective... all mistakes are forgivable because they have NOT REALLY HAPPENED. So you can't really, fully, totally be responsible for what's going on in the illusion, beyond that you chose poorly and forgot who you are.
So don't be hard on yourself for choosing poorly, quickly move onto the atonement, the fact that you have not REALLY done what you think you're totally responsible for. Yes you chose it.. but did you really? Do you REALLY have the ability to choose something other than God? Not really. You have the illusion of choice, which isn't really choice, so you haven't really chosen anything other than God.
Your only responsibility is to be.
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